So when I start dating someone new she is always eager to please me in bed. She is very concerned about the fact if I am having a good time with them in bed. But over time she stops giving a fuck and sometimes even deny sex by just saying she's sleepy or tired. She also talks to me in a tone as to emphasize that I am a bad person if I think sex is extremely important to the relationship. She insists connection is more important. What might be the reason for such behaviour? Is it something I am doing?
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whytehorse2021 2y ago
It's totally something you're doing. I don't even ask my wife for sex. I just take it, like a man, and then pull her hair and finger her ass. I'll wake her up at 2AM and fuck her. I'll fuck her so hard her head is banging against the wall. AND SHE LOVES IT!
[deleted] 2y ago
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Axlerod9999 2y ago
Man this is too much bull shit. Why cant i just have normal sex. Its like the only way to get sex from your girl is if you replace her every year like a phone or keep a side chick so shes on the edge all the time.
[deleted] 2y ago
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jalhik 2y ago
dr_cockasaurus has a point but you should also flirt with her more
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
You should go over to married red pill or the dead bedroom channels and give them this advice.
This is the silver bullet that sexually frustrated men the world over have been waiting for!
"Just flirt with her more".
Fucking genius.
Axlerod9999 2y ago
Nah man she just will take the flirting in exchange for sex as a weakness
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
The problem is that if you withdraw sex it gets even worse. She doesn't change her mind, she just feels even less wanted and the sex frequency goes from "not enough" to never. And she blames you.
Attraction decreases over time. This happens MUCH FASTER if you are monogamous with her. It happens faster if you lose attraction in her eyes, make commitments, do things for her, provide for her. The more commitment you show and the more you do for her, the more she is WINNING, and the more she will take you for granted and realise deep down that she doesn't NEED to do anything to keep you.
This is the biggest red flag of all. WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP you are told that "sex isn't that important" and "it's love that counts" and "I am not your whore". What this means is the following::
I've heard this bullshit from women I've committed to.
I have never heard it from a FWB that I'm seeing for primarily sexual reasons.
I can say this with complete certainty: you are dating these women exclusively. You are giving commitment and it killing attraction.
I had the same problem. I stopped being exclusive. I thought "if girls want it twice a month, I'm going to need to see 8 women". So I dated women primarily for sex.
And you know what happened? Girls I "dated" told me how important sex is, how much they need it too, and they started to care about it and prioritize my sexual satisfaction.
I highly recommend you decrease your commitment to these girls. See more than one at once. Never make any promises. Don't even commit to future dates. No sex? No problem at all, you're seeing another girl the next day. She wants it once a year? No problem at all, see her once per year.
It's amazing how much removing exclusivity can fix your sexual problems with girls.
Axlerod9999 2y ago
Cant do that in an LTR. You will have to break up with her.
[deleted] 2y ago
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mattyanon Admin 2y ago
men prefer to believe that their wife "has gone off sex" than to believe that their wife is getting railed by someone else.
it's a way to keep those resource dollars flowing.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
I've always thought this of dead bedroom situations. I can 100% see how beta men (I'm not calling OP beta) can go without sex for years by virtue of being turned down by their pedestalized wives, but that she as a woman is purposefully forgoing sex for years?
I'm convinced women in dead bedroom marriages are getting their fix from somewhere else
[deleted] 2y ago
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Axlerod9999 2y ago
Its not that i go without sex its just the sex goes down in the pecking order. Like i met this girl after like a few months. Instead of jumping my bones she first wanted to take a shower then get dresses and go out to dinner. While when we initially started seeing each other she would gobble by shlong as soon as she entered my apartment. Its not the same anymore. And she even bloody denied me sex later by saying she was tired and wanted to sleep.(although we did it)
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
My comment wasn't about you or the original post, I was joining in with Fallen's comment. Neither of us were referring to you or your post, it was just a random tangent
Axlerod9999 2y ago
I know bro. i was just elaborating
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Okay, I will respond to the elaboration
At some point you have conveyed to her that you're not just fuckbudies or FWBs, either upfront or through your actions
Right there. Right THERE.
I don't know if this chick is a casual fuck to your or more, but she is setting the tone and you're letting her. Somewhere along the lines you kept giving in to these kinds of things and now she expects a bunch of rapport, spending time together, and comfort