After completing a successful monk mode last year, I decided to get back into the game. I went on an absolute rampage. Met loads of girls through cold approaching, going out solo, my social circle, online dating, ... I was getting more attention from girls, plated a few girls, but I never felt happy, it was just an ego boost.
All this time, I had this empty feeling inside, like something was missing. I was messing around with girls, I gave nothing about. Sometimes during sex, I would even pretend I wasn't feeling well, just so I could send them home. Then, out of nowhere, I met a girl through a mutual friend. We immediately clicked, this was the first girl I genuinely liked spending time with. Finally, I was having fun, but I caught oneitis for her. I enjoyed waking up next to her, cooking together, meeting her friends, ... All the stuff I normally hated. She was low maintenance, and never played games.
But then, we had an argument, and that's where I hard nexted her, because she crossed one of my boundaries. Ever since then, I've been messing around with other girls. Girls way hotter than her, but again, I had this empty feeling inside. Even though they were hotter, I didn't enjoy spending time with them. Mainly because of the many shit tests, and games they play.
Last week I went out solo. Met two girls, at 2 different bars. Both of them were all over me, was making out heavily, got their number and bounced. The next day I hit them up, and both of them didn't even reply. I don't understand this. Why would they be all over me, give their number, only for them to ghost me? At this point is exhausting, I was way happier when I had oneitis, compared to now. Anyone else getting tired of the dating scene/spinning plates in general?
hannulv 2y ago
I advise you to watch a bunch of idealized masculine movies from the 60s and 70s, when ideal masculine behavior was idolized: John Wayne, Charles Bronson, Bruce Lee. You know who they are.
You'll quickly start to notice a key features of idealized masculine behavior: The punishment fits the crime. Call it an "eye for an eye" or whatever you want, but heroes bring appropriate force. When threatened with fists, they use fists. When threatened with sticks, they use sticks. When threatened with nukes, they use nukes. Maoist/SJW culture is marked by the opposite. They would give a harsher punishment to mean words than an actual physical assault. They nuke at first sign of conflict.
When you're enforcing boundaries, there's softer tools than hard nexting. We call them operant conditioning. It's also known as training. Hard nexting is for behavior that communicates anything that says she's not that into you and that she's not going to work out, like:
Other stuff can be dealt with by treating her like a puppy. Provide and remove time and attention. Your girl is like your teenage daughter. They get hormonal. They act out. They have little fits, etc. Where you draw your hard boundaries is up to you. Keyser Soze would shoot his own wife and child before allowing someone to use them against him like leverage. That was his boundary. If something is a deal-killer for you, then it should be an actual deal-killer and you should be done, not pining for the deal-breaker, otherwise you need to use a softer approach when training your girl.
The point of spinning plates is to have options, not to be miserable. Spinning plates does not mean endless ONS. It means maybe one non-exclusive LTR, a backup FWB, and few girls on the backburner that you aren't banging yet. The goal is to be happy, by not getting consumed and destroyed by over-committing to a girl you can't handle.
BabyUareSoSexy 2y ago
Thank you, this is great advice. I probably overreacted because I caught oneitis for her. The reason why I hard nexted her, is because she started flaking on dates. We were supposed to go out for drinks, until she hit me with the dumbest excuse ever. She said she couldn't make it because her aunts' cat wasn't feeling well.
This was the dumbest excuse I've ever heard. At this point I kind of lost interest. Withdrew attention, assumed it was over, I wasn't going to spend time on a girl who didn't value my time. I bumped into her 2 weeks later, and that's when we had the argument. She said it was true, but I said she shouldn't lie to me, and that's when we started arguing. Even her friends told me it was a weird excuse. So, that's when I hard nexted her.
And I'm tired of spinning plates, I understand where you're coming from, though. I was thinking about going monk mode again, but not sure if that's the right option. Maybe I should just get used to the game, and try out other things.
pfeilmacher 2y ago
Excellent post.
NeoSpartan 2y ago
100% agree.
redpillschool Admin 2y ago
Eventually, you lose steam. It's good to learn the headspace but ultimately it's a lot of effort and when you truly realize the juice ain't worth the squeeze, that's when you've finally graduated.
BabyUareSoSexy 2y ago
You're right, it's not worth the effort. It's just... I've been redpilled for years now. It's not like girls are the center of my world. I'm doing great in school, am in good shape, reading books, setting goals for myself, ... But, I'm the only one in my group of friends without a girlfriend. It gets lonely sometimes. I feel like they're happier, despise having ugly girlfriends and being out of shape.
Intrepid_Place53900 2y ago
yup, the older you get the more standard it will be for having a LTR. All the guys will be settling down into LTR or marriage and spend more time with their girls and less with the guys. It's normal, this also coincides around the 30's wall for women. Go figure, right.
The girls are tired of the fuckboi's they can't land or don't provide enough, then they go and find a provider.
NeoSpartan 2y ago
Yeah I'm at the same point. Dating right now but the goal is to find a good LTR girl. I do have one plate, but she is leaving for a job soon so it's temporary.
BabyUareSoSexy 2y ago
I hope you find a good girl.
NeoSpartan 2y ago
Thank you :) I have a date this fri so hopefully she is cool. She seems good so far. Hot but not slutty profile pics and seems to have a good sense of humor from our text chat. I'm looking forward to meeting her :D
BabyUareSoSexy 2y ago
Sounds great. Good luck on the date, with whatever you have planned!
MonkMode 2y ago
I'm not going to overlap the other guys, but what I'm seeing in my process is...
The highs of success are crushed by the failures (ghosts). Zavsss will step in and tell you to fuck other women. This will make you succeed again and become numb to the failures. See what I said there? Keep the positive but become neutral minded, idgaf, to the negative.
Bromance up. I really enjoy my social circle and have been conditioning them on wingman mentality. I've also weeded out the negative ney sayers. I reinforce supporting me or fucking off, and I 100% support their decisions as well. If I get butt hurt over a girl, they rightfully tell me, "fuck her, let's go find other bitches."
Now your two ghosted dates. Be patient. They could have lots of reasons for not contacting you. I recently discovered I, "focus on number game" when I should be "focused on close game, and work backwards to number if opportunity isn't there". Sounds like maybe you got stuck on the number instead of the close. Also, waiting a day to contact them doesn't hurt. Send a follow up text the next day. Meme the third day with final text. Ghost after. Fuck other bitches. My odds are I need 10 numbers for 1 date and 10 dates for 1 close. Think about that. That's x numbers?
My one buddy with 100+ body count finally came to the conclusion he wasn't happy banging whores. We are creatures of growth, and after you maximize your close rate (say close every 2 numbers VS 100), things probably dull out. He has now dated a chick for 4 years and they actively seek out 3ways to keep things interesting. Even then, he is growing tiresome of her.
For me, it's about personal growth. Growing my social circle makes me happy. Being with strong alpha types, non cockblockers because they get it, is enjoyable. We get shit done on the daily. We push each other to do better, grow strong, be financially independent, get bitches, build communication skillset, etc. We compliment each other's qualities and supplement then at the same time.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
You had women as the goal. Oneitis isn't any different. Chase excellence instead. My wife isn't the hottest chick but she's hot enough that I can look at her all day for the rest of my life and then go fuck a 10 if I want. She's just an addition to my life that makes it better. I got over my oneitis for her and it made our relationship much better. I wouldn't ever want to go back to being single or serial monogamy and, like you, I can't stand hoes. I'm fine shooting loads in hoes and leaving when I get an itch to scratch but it's on my terms and I spend zero effort getting them.
SheLarror1234 2y ago
Yea man the bluepill fantasy is thinking you will eventually find the one. This is confirmed when you do actually find someone that seems down to earth, but then it breaks off. Bluepill fantasy is that this world is actually sane enough to support this type of normal living and desires!
The games and plates are the endgame for this worlds women. The growth was the story mode. Think about it. You've had more plates than even some chads and you found some decent chicks. You know how to game and for the most part proved to be able to. What else do you desire? Your no longer that unsocial virgin.
There's only a few things left and it is that commitment and those things that your "the one" would provide.
We should just swallow the pill instead of swirling it around. It literally does not get better than plates and games in this modern western world. Even if you do find the one, you will still see marriages of years being broken and analyzed by redpill. Even if you find the one, you will still have to be constantly fighting the program.
I think the disconnect comes from the realization you gained from monk mode. In a sense, it made the lines of the this modern world way more vivid. I had the same understanding. Once i went monk mode, it was like i could not really enjoy these practices like how i used too before deciding to learn a thing or two. Like, i WAS able to have fun with women with the new knowledge, but it always felt like i had another side i needed to get back to. Like monk mode was my true nature right now and i was really just pushing it. The game is just a game you can choose to play or turn off at anytime. Real life is something more than just women, plates, and such.
Also, the rewards of modern dating and plates are actually not worth it at all. Even sex lost its edge with the realization of the sheer amount of options a women has, both online and real life.
BabyUareSoSexy 2y ago
I agree, women have too many options nowadays, especially online. And I know it's a blue pill fantasy, 'the one'. Just sometimes there's that one girl, who you genuinely like spending time with. This girl had hobbies, goals, stuff going on in her life, took care of herself, was smart, funny, feminine, ... Most girls I meet, have the personality of a dead fish. They have nothing going on their life, except for partying and watching Netflix.
Maybe I need to switch things up... Most of my plates just come to my house, we watch a movie, have sex, and send them home. Do you guys take your plates on 'dates'? I mean stuff like cooking together, going for drinks, making a trip, ...? I feel like watching a movie at home, and having sex becomes repetititve and boring. But at the same time, I don't want to give them the feeling that things are going towards a relationship.
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Intrepid_Place53900 2y ago
women have a lot of options for (sex), yes. But for relationships/LTR's , no, it's limited and if you think about it, quite competitive for them (women.
One of the things that fucks these women up is having all the sex access to hot guys. But they can't land them and/or they aren't providers.
When they want a relationship/LTR, they have to settle usually , compared to what they've been getting fucked by. Lower SMV guy.
Who wants to be that guy or viewed as that guy, right? I feel for you young guys today, Marriage or even LTR? with these women? Why?
SheLarror1234 2y ago
Women have more options tailored for them. In a numbers game more options mean they have a higher chance of finding their mate for a relationship. . I mean yea, they make bad choices but its still way easier for a women to be in their perfect relationship than a man almost 100% of the time. Men look at females for sex yea, but most men are very willing to turn a cute girl into a wife/girlfriend if she has enough virtue and loyalty. Her success is reliant on her good behavior.
Our standard of a high value women is not even comparable to what a women would consider a "perfect man". For us, we desire a decent functioning human being. But is that the case for modern women? High value men to her means celebrity. Its more close to human superhero than it is human.
I would agree with what you were saying in a regular world though. Naturally we should have the edge when it comes to relationships but not in todays time when they have been given all the power socially.
Intrepid_Place53900 2y ago
Ha, good point on the standard of high value women and men.
If you ask a woman what her perfect guy looks like. 6 foot+, 6 inch plus, 6 figure+ salary, good looking, popular, wants to buy me everything and so on.
A guys list is like, cute, nice to be around, faithful