I'm curious as to how manners work with regard to keeping frame and all the other stuff. Reading No More Mr Nice Guy and you're not supposed to be, well, too nice. But to what extent?
For example, I've learned that if people ask how you're doing, and you respond with, "I'm fine, how are you?" They don't reply. It's a thing of the past. Their question is rhetorical. So the red pilled thing to do would be to just say, "fine." Without opening the door for them to snub you.
However, it stands to reason that having manners and etiquette, and responding to questions properly are hallmarks of intelligence and good breeding. Just because THIS person doesn't get it doesn't mean you shouldn't.
What do the actual men think?
parmenides 4y ago
Actual men don’t ask the question. They do what they want.
The key is to not respond based on convention or fear of failing to meet someone’s expectations, and to respond to people however you want.
I personally find it rewarding to be polite to others by default until they give me a reason not to. I don’t do this out of a sense of obligation, and I have practiced being rude to people by default to ensure I am making a choice, not defaulting to what’s easy.
You shouldn’t care how other men act in this kind of situation and copy them. You should listen to your inner voice and act according to that voice.
Doubleaxe90 4y ago
There is a difference between having social intelligence, good manners, etiquette and supplicating, white knighting, putting women on a pedestal, kissing their asses.
arakouzo 4y ago
"Actual men" don't overthink basic social interactions. They aren't stressing out over "Geez. Should I just say 'fine', or should I say 'I'm good, and how about you?' Which one is more manly?"
"Frame" is internet shorthand for your overall level of dominance and submission with regard to a woman. It's not something you should be worrying about with every breath, as though every word you say gets a frame score and if you score too low everyone doesn't respect you.
parmenides 4y ago
Exactly. And if you are worrying about frame, you’ve lost it. You achieve it when you assert instead of worry.
BusterVadge 4y ago
Nah bro. The red pilled thing do would be to smile and say "It's fucking amazing". Then they'll be curious and wanna talk to you.
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
"how are you" is just a filler. You need to find ways to snap people out of it if you want a real answer.
But it's better to LEAD. That means tell them something about your day rather than using standard filler phrases. Talk a little about something real (the barrier is very low). Then ask them something SPECIFIC and NOT A FILLER.
Manners is not relevant here. There is no "nice vs manners" question.
You can be amazingly polite and still have rock solid frame. In fact you should. You can politely say no. You don't have to engage with people who are rude. You can literally stop talking to them. Doing so is very, very effective.