So lately I been having a hard time meeting go of my past. When I think of all the dumb shit I did back in college I cringe. I partied a lot and did a lot of dumb shit when I was drunk and wasted my time. How can I forgive myself and start focusing in the present and future? I been having a hard time focusing at work just over thinking my past and it is extremely deteriorating, I get home exhausted and depressed.
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mattyanon Admin 2y ago
JUST DO IT.
The present is as it is.
Accept it for good and bad, and focus on the future
i-am-the-prize 2y ago
stop dwelling. you can acknowledge your fuckups, note them. learn from them. then put them in a box and set the box down. once you've extracted what's actionable from those events, it will serve you no good to ruminate on them.
you need to replace these 'cycles of cringe' with positive cycles. learn to kill these ruminations. what i do is when something creeps into my brain that is like what you describe:
1) I say out lout "not useful" and literally push it out of my forebrain and focus on something productive. because I am my own longest LTR, I act in my self interest. Dwelling on a past even from which I have already extracted the lesson learned, has no value. this works.
2) if something comes back again, use: "if i truly cared for myself, would I allow myself to feel this?" Answer earnestly: NO, and move on.
check out Ekhart Tolle, the power of Now, and Naval Ravikant's books.