I have an uncle that constantly tries to put me down during family parties and holidays. It wasn’t like this until I moved out of our small town into a big city after graduating uni. The guy pretends like he’s supportive but finds an opportunity to shit on anything I do or anything about me. It started off with small jabs like “big cities are like ant farms and I would never live in one. Our town is better”. Then as I advanced my career over the years it became more personal. I suspect the reason for his behavior is the fact that his sons are a bit lazy and don’t make much money. One of them has a fat girlfriend too which my uncle was vocally unhappy about. He met my girlfriend and kept commenting on how skinny she is while at the same time telling her that I’ll never marry her and that I’m not serious about her. I hit my late 20s and grew out a well shaped beard, so now his main focus is on calling me an Arab and that I’m not our family’s ethnicity “because only Arabs can grow a beard like that”. The guy is about 5’5”, bald, and beardless so I think there’s some jealousy mixed with a bit of Napoleon complex. At Thanksgiving he said something along the lines of “your hairline is uneven, our little Arab” to which I got a bit reactive and responded “you’re just mad and I’m living in your head” ...which did not come off as very grounded or centered. If this was one of my boys talking to me like that I would roast them but in an effort to keep the peace in the family I stayed quiet for the rest of the night. If I’m not around he targets my dad, and my mom defends him saying “you know how he is, just ignore it”. I get where she’s coming from but the guy doesn’t stop he just keeps going until it’s outright disrespect. What is the appropriate course of action in a situation like this? There’s a lot I can make fun of him for but I don’t know if it will come off as butthurt and insecure. At the same time I don’t want to be an easy target and let him think he can just go on like this at the dinner table when I go home for Christmas.
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