I will be short.
Last week i had a 19yo tinder match 2 hours away by car( i'm 24 btw ), and after changing a few lines, i told her i will come to her to meet for some drinks.
We met, the niagara falls flooded her panties when she saw me and started being very agitated and shit, trying to get closer to me and all that, suddenly liking everything i liked and you know the drill.
Got her a few beers ( i don't drink, and i was driving ) and told her to come to my place ( you should've seen her fkin face light up when i said that ). I will not get into details, but we only slept 4 hours that night.
She was complaining about not finding a job and blahblah, and i offered to help her with her resume if she needed. The reason being that i saw how useless she is, no experience, no drive, no nothing and i thought " I remember when i was also struggling to find a job in my 1st year of college, and a resume will take me only 30 minutes."
In my perspective i am being a good man, because i just do that when i have time and it's not a big deal.
But on the other hand, i don't want to hamster myself into this and deep down to be a nice guy.
So as stupid as it is, i am asking for validation from you.
arakouzo 3y ago
The general rule is you want what you get to be as much or more than what you give.
If she comes to your place tomorrow night for help with her resume, you spend 30 minutes fine tuning it, then have sex and you didn't have to go out or buy drinks, you probably did okay.
If you're meeting at a restaurant, buying her dinner, spending an hour writing her resume for her, then she leaves you with the bill to go on a date after telling you how nice you are, you did not do okay.
Most likely, you are somewhere between those two extremes. But if you're getting as much or more than you're giving, you're doing fine. It is silly to have some kind of arbitrary rule that you can never do anything nice or anything useful for a girl. If she's behaving well and fucking you, it's fine. If she's being difficult and annoying and not fucking you, it's a waste of your energy.
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 3y ago
You're betaizing yourself. That's the sort of thing you do for a wife or LTR, not some chick you just met.
If you think you have enough alpha/attraction equity, that a little beta/comfort won't kill her attraction for you, go ahead. I'd advise against that so soon after the first fuck, though.
moorekom 3y ago
@FullBlownKanye
Pretty much this. As soon as I read you drove two hours to meet her, my heart sank. But considering the outcome, I would agree that it was worthwhile this time.
Make no mistake though: too much comfort kills attraction. If you are too available and accessible, she will become bored of you pretty soon and will take you for granted. There is a delicate line between being an aloof asshole and a caring partner and this is the precise path you must walk to keep it fun.
Only help her if she asks you for it and even then make fun of her during and after whatever you do for her. If you are going to help her with a resume, tell her you will dictate it and tell her to type it herself and just fuck with her at times by asking her if she wants you to spell difficult words with a smirk in your face. Keep it fun and don't be a dick. Understand that I am offering this example and scenario because I know how to pull it off for most women I would be attracted to and would be attracted to me. My frame setting starts early. While you have to figure out what works for you, be a lovable jerk in general. You don't have to be a sucker. But you don't have to be an iceberg either. Be playful. Have fun and keep it fun.
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 3y ago
Hell's bells, dude, even if she asks he probably ought to respond, "nah, you've got this. You're a strong, independent woman!"