The basis of communication
The human being is filled with thoughts and feelings, wills and desires, delights and discomforts, needs and wants. Some of these are conscious, others are not.
The essence of communication is the transference of an idea from one place to another. From one person to another, from thoughts to paper and from the subconscious to the conscious (and many more). The human body is continuously communicating various messages between the limbs and organs.
Interpersonal communication is when a massage gets passed from one person to another. These messages are sometimes verbal, sometimes non verbal. Some will say that the majority of human communication is nonverbal.
Mixed messages
People become confused when the verbal and nonverbal messages don't match up with each other or worse, when they outright contradict each other. Being that actions speak louder than words, people are more likely to believe your actions - your nonverbal communication - and disbelieve your words. This is tolerable here and there but will certainly lead to a great deal of frustration if done regularly.
There are some cases where you're compelled by law to believe the words over the actions. For example - if her body language indicates a strong desire for sex but she says no, he'd be locked up for rape if he goes ahead with the sex. However, because of the mixed messages she's sending him, the relationship between the two will suffer a serious blow.
This natural confusion is multiplied by the fact that men are more likely to have false positives and women are more likely to have false negatives. In simple terms - a man is likely to think she's interested when she isn't (false positive) and a woman is likely to think he isn't interested when he really is (false negative).
Additionally, a man's conscious sexual arousal is likely to match his body's physical arousal. A woman's conscious arousal often contradicts her body's physical arousal. (They proved this through attaching a device that measures blood flow and swelling etc to the penis or vagina of the participants. They then showed them benign flims with random interjections of erotic images. The participants were to use a joystick to indicate their level of arousal throughout the film. When the pornographic images appeared, the men moved the stick to indicate arousal while the women moved the stick to indicate being turned off. However, their vaginas told a different story). This is part of the last minute resistance that results from her dual mating strategy.
This is confusing to the man because her body indicates a desire for sex while her mouth indicates a lack of desire or vice versa. Her mouth says “I love you” and her actions scream “I hate you” or “I don't care for you” or vice versa. If you live with a woman and even more so if you're married to her - these mixed messages wear down the male mind and heart. We like to get to the point, do you love me or not? Are you interested in sex right now or not? Do you admire me or not? All this wishy-washy, plausible deniability is exhausting bullshit to the male psyche.
Broadcasting to the world through clothing and demeanor
The type of clothing we wear, sends messages about ourselves to the world. Our facial expressions and body language does the same. These messages are broadcast whether we like them or not. Body language experts can often expose the true intentions that lays behind the lies and bluff.
Some clothing say - take me seriously. Some clothing say - take me sexually. Some clothing say - look here. Some clothing say - nothing to see here. Some clothing say - open for business. Some clothing say - I'm closed off. Oftentimes, there are several messages being broadcast simultaneously.
When a woman wears a push-up bra with a low cut shirt that accentuates her cleavage, that sends a loud message to the male gaze. It says look here buddy. Likewise with form fitting yoga pants that accentuate the butt. Likewise with many other articles of clothing and accessories that say - look here.
When a woman wears a short skirt or a button down shirt that's open down the middle, it sends a message that says - I want you to imagine what's beyond the curtain.
When a man wears a suit and tie with nice shoes, it sends a message that says - I'm a respectable person who's ready for business. Take me seriously.
When a man wears baggy pants halfway down his ass with a hoodie over his head and wobbles like a duck, it sends a message that says - I'm a lowlife and possibly a thug who has nothing real going on in his life.
TRP is about seeking the truth even when uncomfortable. The truth is that your clothing and your body language broadcast messages to the world. Furthermore, you get to choose what to wear but you don't get to choose who will see you once you step outside.
When a woman wears clothing that screams look here, she shouldn't be surprised when men look and stare nor should she be offended when low class men stare at her. You have no control over who sees you in a public place. When she and many other women admonish men for looking, men as a whole receive a giant confusing mixed message.
When a collage girl dresses up in fuck me clothing and braves the freezing cold to go to a party only to drink and act all slutty - she shouldn't be surprised when guys treat her like the sex object that she made herself to be. She always has the legal right to stop things at any point but - after sending so many “fuck me” messages all night long - her words that say “stop” might just be ignored at that point. No one is excusing rape, sexual assault or anything like that. However, just because the man is responsible for his part, doesn't mean that she is obsolved of responsibility for her own safety and wellbeing.
When a wife dresses up for weddings and community functions and acts all flirty with people while dressing in drab clothing and acting all grumpy at home, she sends a clear unspoken message to her husband that says - you're boring and they're interesting. I don't have much sexual interest in you but I do for them. She can swear up and down that she really loves her husband more, but it'll fall on deaf ears because her actions don't match up to her words.
Conclusion
We can go on all day regarding specific clothing and demeanor and the messages they broadcast. The point is clear - clothing and demeanor broadcast things about you whether you like it or not, whether you're conscious of it or not.
If your words don't match the message being broadcast, it'll lead to confusion and frustration. If your words contradict the unspoken messages, it'll compound this confusion and frustration.
Women who constantly engage in sending mixed messages (consciously or subconsciously), make it extremely difficult to have meaningful relationships with them. Drama, mixed messages and bullshit are tiring and draining for men. These same women often lack the self awareness to realize that they are the authors of their own sad story as they moan the big complaint of -where are all the good men? Where oh where have they gone?!?!?
You know where the good men went? They walked away from mixed messages and dramatic bullshit. They walked away from having to waste brain cells to try and romance you, seduce you and generally keep you interested. You aren't interested? Fine. No problem. Neither are we.
Send the message you want the whole world to see!
Cheers!
ChiTownBob 5y ago
"I can't hear your words, your actions scream too loud." is a good summary of how many women dress.
sleepyweaselisawake Mod 5y ago
loneliness-inc Mod 5y ago
They aren't but they should be.
If they have rights and privileges, they ought to have the responsibility that comes with it. If they have no responsibility, they shouldn't have the rights either.
sleepyweaselisawake Mod 5y ago
What should be and what is are rarely is alignment, which is why it's imperative for men to protect themselves. There's not a woman on Earth who is more valuable than your freedom and livelihood.
DeeplyDisturbed1 5y ago
There is a more specific problem at play here. It has been said in subtle ways before, but it is this - Even the lowest ranking women on the planet feel entitled to a top ranking male, when they do not rate ANY male at all.
This is in part where AWALT comes from. The bottom feeder women can get attention from hoards of thirsty men, and it encourages them to spew insanity. Children and weak men suffer - and ultimately these women will suffer. I could live with all of that, but society overall will also weaken and suffer And THAT is problematic.
This does not worry me too much, because I ain't dating those women and this will come home to roost when I am dead.
Come here for the laughs. Enjoy the decline folks.
defaultex 5y ago
While I don't subscribe to the idea of ranking people for anything more than skills and abilities used to produce goods and services. I have seen exactly the attitude your pointing out my entire life but have noticed such women seem to have severe tunnel vision. They can identify males that claim to be 'men' but they can't seem to tell them apart from real 'men' even with evidence clearly staring them in the face. Honestly I blame it on dilution of the word 'men', it's still treated the same even though the definition has changed to "bear sweating sports nut".
TheYekke 5y ago
Life is war.
Mating and keeping a mate is the zero sum game that we all play unless we explicitly take ourselves out of it.
All Women will toe a line until some women successfully crosses that line. Then the line moves, well, until it collides with danger. At a certain point, all lines will, no matter how many armed thugs and usurper laws are proclaimed, become lines drenched in blood screaming until here and no further. A nun’s habit will confuse no one, but once upon a time that was seen as the line (this should come as a shock not as humor).
Men are rational actors for as much as pain is concerned- steal and lose a hand, murder and lose your head. Rewarding old age with deference used to be the norm, as a reward for having dodged death that was all around. Wise old men they were until we brainwashed ourselves that anyone over 30 was not to be trusted.
Rick_OShay1 5y ago
Yep; so many think that because "we are the new generation" that it somehow magically makes us smarter and wiser than our elders.
loneliness-inc Mod 5y ago
Good point!
Another reason people used to defer to the elders is because society worked like a proper hierarchy where you need to actually climb the latter to make it to the top and no one inherently deserves their position on the top. Naturally, the elders already achieved their place and have all the wisdom that comes with it.
A society that respects the young over the old is a society that refuses to learn from the past and is therefore bound to repeat it. I grew up around survivors of Stalin's goulags as well as Hitler's death camps. As a kid, I could never understand why someone would want to exert such authority over every petty move of people's lives and to torture and kill them if they don't comply, the way Stalin did. Yet, here we are, barely 100 years later and it seems like we're heading straight down the same bloody path... having grown up hearing the horror stories from the goulags, it boggles my mind how any sane person can be a communist.
Then again, they aren't sane.
BTW - I like your username! We have quite a few yekke's in the family.
TheYekke 5y ago
The choices coming to Men are bleak.
Women wanting Alphas need to understand that they are the destroyers of civilization. They call them Boring Betas/educated lames/nice guys but we keep civilization going. I simultaneously see:
Yet women completely lack any value add other than their wet holes.
If I had to wait until 35 to be able to attract a walled out stalled out high notch count woman, I’d pass. If importing a woman wouldn’t be possible and living abroad too complicated, why wouldn’t I go MGTOW?
Rick_OShay1 5y ago
Alphas are the destroyers, or women who want them are the destroyers?
TheYekke 5y ago
Alphas are. The wolf from the little red riding hood story. Rapunzel locked in the tower was the alpha widow, the cricket and the ant - guess who the alpha was. Civilizations with smarts realized a long time ago what unrestrained female sexuality would turn into, and took appropriate action... or collapsed. Women give sex for love and men give love for sex. I always assumed the weak link would be sex, but it’s actually love. Bonding leads to love, and alpha fucks destroy the ability of a woman to bond to a lesser man. Feminism has simply accelerated the process, although rather than getting blowback in generational time frames, now gets it in Internet time.
Do a thought experiment: would you take on tremendous debt, work into your early 40s to be able to afford a family, only to be left with alpha widows and mentally unstable women your own age?
oldredder 5y ago
alphas are to be leaders. They are supposed to lead civilization. Betas the cogs of the gears.
Women dismissing the majority of men to demand alphas are what's destroying civilization. It's rejection of civilization to make something else that's a narcissistic dream that can't be made real.
Rick_OShay1 5y ago
I seek a virgin girl younger than me. I'd rather starve to death than eat from the garbage can.
TheYekke 5y ago
Your supply will be extremely limited.. try Colorado city, Utah, as a Mormon...
Rick_OShay1 5y ago
i dunno what's worse; a girl who lies about me, or a girl's father who lies about me.
loneliness-inc Mod 5y ago
Truth! But I don't know how many women will ever come to this realization. It's unlikely that many will.
A more feasible strategy is to help men build immunity against the constant shaming from women as well as men.
Absolutely! And in the days when almost every such man was able to get himself a woman for life through engaging in society building activities. In the days when sexually degenerate behavior was ostracized and could only exist in secret - society building behavior was rewarded and society destructive behavior was punished. Men therefore had plenty of reason to be good, upstanding citizens!
However, now such men are mocked and ridiculed by society as they're punished in divorce, family and criminal court.
And even that - my body my choice! Just because I married you, doesn't mean I owe you sex. I have the right to get you worked up and then say no at the last second and if you dare continue, you'll go to jail for rape. If you're upset about it, you're a creepy man filled with toxic masculinity for thinking that women owe you sex!
Add to that, the fact that she's already a worn out hag.
Where do I sign up for marriage?
BewareTheOldMan 5y ago
Others have made some pretty good comments on the original posting, but I will focus this statement:
"Just because I married you, doesn't mean I owe you sex."
Of course most men disagree with this ridiculous statement as sex is just ONE of many tasks as part of the marriage contract.
There's no way in all of creation any woman would accept a man saying "just because I married you doesn't mean I have to ensure your safety, health, protection, and well being" as part of the marital contract.
Any woman would implode from internal anger at these words, yet there are women who are very conformable denying sex to their husbands...one the the many requirements they agreed to as part of marriage.
It's no wonder men are opting out of marriage and family. That..and "men are mocked and ridiculed by society as they're punished in divorce, family and criminal court."
loneliness-inc Mod 5y ago
This stuff is clear cut to us men but so many women will argue that you're advocating for marital rape
Rick_OShay1 5y ago
Why are you receiving down-votes?
loneliness-inc Mod 5y ago
I don't know. Maybe some people were triggered
oldredder 5y ago
uh, muh triggers!
Women who won't put out non-stop for their husband aren't fit to be a wife.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
This belongs here.
https://therationalmale.com/2011/09/06/the-medium-is-the-message/
loneliness-inc Mod 5y ago
I have a lot of respect for Rollo, he was my first introduction to the world of TRP. However, one of the reasons I stopped reading his work is due to how long winded it is.
I don't disagree with the basis of what he's saying there. Sure, if you take the time and energy to figure out and observe all the nuances of her covert communication, you'll understand everything that she says and you may even be able to push her buttons and jump through these hoops correctly to be granted regular sex.
But you have to ask yourself - is it worth it? At what cost does this come? How much time, energy and money will you need to spend?
Groveling for sex, love and attention is demeaning no matter how horny you are and no matter how long it's been since you last had sex, love or attention. It's dehumanizing and for many men - the juice simply isn't worth the squeeze.
Furthermore, even if you're alpha AF and you've mastered the art of pussy whispering, the law and culture makes the playing field unfair. In many cases, you're compelled to go by her words. You have no choice.
If anyone wants to put in the effort to obtain sex, they can go for it. I just think it's a losing proposition for many reasons and if you do it and win, it's exhausting and that's a loss in my books. But hey, to each their own.
Thank you for bringing this up!
moorekom Mod 5y ago
Rollo is pretty long winded but he does cover a lot of topics in the context of the current climate. We, as men, are not supposed to be the chasers. It is not natural for a man to chase after a woman and offer her sacrifices in the hopes to win over a creature that is so fickle and narcissistic.^1 I believe strongly that we need to set the tone of any forms of communication. As in war, the better you understand your enemy, the better you'll be able to do it. Rollo is a good resource to gather that information. Patrice O'Neal's Black Phillip Show is an even better one. The point of knowledge is to make yourself better. If you read Rollo's work with the clear goal to use the information to rise above the current stupidity, there is a lot of ammunition there. But you do need to have a critical and analytical eye.
loneliness-inc Mod 5y ago
What are you talking about?
In practically every animal and most human societies, the man must prove himself worthy and be the one to make the moves on the woman who sits back and evaluates whether she wants him or not.
BluepillProfessor 5y ago
The man proving himself worthy was doable when the default assumption was that men are something other than bad, women are wonderful, and toxic masculinity. The man proved himself worthy to the other MEN, not to the woman. She always had the final say but he default was unless he is a hideous turnoff, I will go with what my dad and brothers think.
Today it is I will go with whatever I want in the moment.
More important, in earlier times, a prospective husband was required to prove himself ONCE. He had to talk to the patriarchs in the village, and then convince the girl. Then when they were married she was essentially his and he no longer needed to prove himself every minute of every day. When he was tested he told his wife to stop and she did. Today, a husband is tested and he has no ability to tell his wife to stop- that would be "abuse." He takes it day after day, week after week until he gives up. Today, a husband has the ability to walk away with the clothes on his back and 3/4 of his paycheck to the wife for 10 years.
So the idea of marriage was that the man chased- but the chase was over after the vows. The vows themselves were a guard against hypergamy- you still had to fuck him in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. That was marriage. The Search is over. The Chase is done. Let's start a family and raise some kids.
Today it never ends. Ever. Every day, ever minute, every second, the wife feels free to test and probe and push and deny and titillate and punish and use her super vagina weapon to WIN.
I totally agree: THAT is not natural.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
Agreed. A lot of people forget the fact that what we have now is not what we used to have. Probably at any point in history. Most women these days have the access and freedom that kings had in ancient times. At no point in history could a woman have fucked a hundred guys and still hope to land a decent guy and settle down. Modern women like to call themselves queens and princesses and all that but those were the women who had to be more wary of their reputation. But thanks to technology and feminism, she has dick on demand these days. While men hope to cultivate an abundance mentality, women have it by default these days.
In the old days, men were expected to perform but the performance was to establish himself as a key player in society. Once he achieves status, he could have his pick of the girl. That is what social proof is. You don't have to prove yourself to the girl if you've proved yourself to the society. Girls understood this and would give him the respect that he was due. These days, you still need to pass shit tests and various other bullshit because women are not expected to behave in a cultured manner. Slut shaming, fat shaming etc has removed the power society held to regulate women and have made it easier for them to succumb you their base nature.
Men are still expected to perform these days as well but the difference in the expected performance is astronomically high. The difference in expected outcome, as you've mentioned, is low. It is not worth the effort anymore. The whole situation is stacked to favor slutty women, high caliber alphas and the short term pump and dump that this fosters. Everyone else is just shit out of luck.
loneliness-inc Mod 5y ago
Yes. Everything you say here is true. However, this is part of the social contract that was marriage, not necessarily the raw natural order.
Nature let loose is what we have today, with all its negative ramifications. In the olden days this was more channeled but the man still had to prove himself worthy of the women. It's just that this was directed and managed by the men in the family and then this chase was put to bed.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
Contrary to popular opinion, women sitting back and doing the evaluation is not how it usually works. She might do that if her value is high (and yours is lower than hers) but that is not the entire spectrum of sexual selection. Men choose and reject like women choose and reject albeit for different reasons and on different criteria.
A woman these days might sit back down at a bar and let herself be surrounded by horny men performing to take her home, but she can't do the same thing if she desires more. Do you know why pre-selection and social proof works? It puts you at a better spot than her. The essence of female desire is that she wants someone who is better than her. Sure, she might entertain the thought of fucking you if she is bored but once that is done, she is not sitting back and evaluating to see if you will provide her with commitment. She will have to actively employ direct or indirect tactics to get that from you.
Do you think Brad Pitt would face the same shit tests that you and I will from an average woman? Why do you think that is? Now, you might argue that she is still choosing the guy by evaluating his status but that would be completely eliminating the agency of the higher value guy in this equation. Most times, average girls do not have a hope in hell of getting into a relationship with Brad Pitt. Because he evaluated her and rejected her as not being good enough. You and I, on the other hand, will evaluate and reject single mothers and other cock carousel riders as not being worth out time because they have low value.
Admittedly, these days with the power women have it can appear that way. But this is not how it usually is. And if you take away the government propped support system away, you'll see a big shift in who does the choosing.
loneliness-inc Mod 5y ago
Women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment. However, these two types of gatekeepers aren't equal. First and foremost, women are the gatekeepers of sex. Only once you've passed through these gates either literally or figuratively (as was done in the old days), only then is there room for men to have the advantage of being the gatekeepers of commitment. This is why men typically only gain this advantage once the female SMV has dropped off in her 30's and beyond.
The fact that some men are highly sexually attractive is irrelevant here because these are a small minority of men and are not at all representative of the majority of men. Like the example you bring of Brad Pitt, a man of extremely high SMV for his looks, money and status.
Yes, women want someone who's better than them, but that doesn't translate into an advantage for men. Women are still the gatekeepers of sex due to the male sex drive being several times as strong as the female sex drive and due to the male sexual desire craving multiple sexual partners simultaneously while the female sexual desire is to obtain the single highest quality partner. All this creates a huge disparity in sexual drive and desire between men and women. This is why women always have the sexual advantage over men, this is why they are the gatekeepers of sex. This is why men are simps by our nature! This is why women don't know how to handle rejection from men. Because they're so not used to it, they don't know how to eat it. They aren't used to it because they have the sexual advantage.
moorekom Mod 5y ago
You're talking about leverage. It is true that women have the leverage of beauty. Men need to earn their leverage. By nature, women have the advantage in the sexual marketplace. That does not make men simps. Given a chance and when there is a lack of societal regulation (as is the case now), a woman will run on her evolutionary hardwired pussy tingles. Men developed civilization to overcome this disparity and the destructive nature it sows. Even if a woman is high value on the sexual scale, that doesn't translate to an automatic high value on the relationship scale. The amount of single moms/cc riders being treated as radioactive is an attestation to this. The way civilization was structured, it evened out the playing field. If you had high earning potential, you could get a really good looking wife. Your contention seems to be that this is not advantageous to men as it is for women. Such is nature dude. Personally, the only successful scenario for a man is when he marries a low maintainance virgin girl and raises his own kids. For this, we do need a societal level support system on men's side. The second best is you pumping and dumping without being beholden to anyone in a hypersexual society like ours.