Here's a fun article from Lauren "I Am The Table" Craig, a Spelman grad, nonpracticing lawyer, and author of Fun Things To Do In a Rotted Out Shithole Town. It was also profiled here at WAATGM.
Here's the essence of Craig's screed and why she doesn't have to show you anything: Because I am Woman, Hear Me Bitch And Complain (Emphasis added):
To go even deeper, the "table" question is offensive on its face, because it puts a woman, who by nature takes anything a man gives her and improves on it, in the position of having to defend her worth to a perfect stranger based on random qualifications like looks, credentials, or "freak number." Whenever that question is posed, I now know that you've sized me up and have determined that what little you know or see so far is not enough, so you need a list of additional qualities that I'm "offering" in order to take me seriously.
Newsflash: A woman does not have to "offer" a man anything other than her companionship.
Revolutionary concept to some, but these are the facts. The whole reason men are driven to get up everyday, go to work, have successful careers, and make a lot of money is so that they can afford to impress women and date/marry the dream girl of their choosing. (see footnote below) So it goes without saying that the woman is the table. What that means is a woman simply IS worthy, and that has nothing to do with how many degrees she has.
Got all that? "I don't have to prove anything to you. You don't get to say what you want, what you need, or what you desire. Those things are irrelevant. All you need to know is I'm a woman, and I add value by my very presence, and you're damn lucky I'm even standing here allowing YOU to prove YOURSELF to ME."
Yeah.
No.
She's basically telling men to fuck off. What they want, need, desire, hope for? Doesn't matter. Men's visions for their lives? Unimportant.
Men: If she wants something from you, she needs to offer you something, and it needs to be more than "companionship". YOU get to decide whether she's good enough. What you want, need, desire, hope for, are all important. Your vision and what you want your relationship to look like are important. And YOU get to decide them. YOU get to decide whether she has what it takes to help you get those things.
Let's take Ms. Craig at her word. "I AM THE TABLE."
OK. You, Ms. Table, are offering "yourself". OK. Well then, I get to examine the table to make sure that it's what I want. I get to make sure this table will do what I want and need for it to do. I get to make sure this table fits in with everything else I have. The table has to fit into my home; I am not going to get a table and then build a home around it. I want to know if the table has flaws. I want to know if it's a new table or a used table, and if used, who else used it and how much.
Some tables have a lot of nicks and gouges. I need to know about them so I can decide if I can live with them. Some tables need refinishing. I need to know that so i can decide if i want to put in the work for that.
A table needs to be strong and hold things up. Some tables aren't very strong. Some tables break when you load them down. I get to test my prospective table to make sure it will hold up under what I need it to carry.
I want my table to look good. I want a nice looking table. And I want and need for it to be durable and to remain nice looking.
And since I am "buying" this "table" with everything I am and have and everything I will ever have...
I fucking get to find out and know everything I want to know about this goddamn table BEFORE I buy it. And if i want to ask "what do you offer" then you by God better be ready with an answer that satisfies me, or I'm leaving you at the Table Store. You do have to defend your worth and value to me based on whatever criteria I decide. Because I am half of the proposed "relationship", and I will be financing it, I get to decide whether you meet my standards. My money, my standards. My life, my standards. If you don't like that, you can stay right here at the Table Store and be offended all you want while I go on my way. Go be pissed off on someone else's time and dime.
And that's why Ms. Lauren "Table" Craig is 38 and still single. That's why she is still at the Table Store and why no one's "bought" her yet. (It's actually kind of hinted from her own writing that someone did "buy" her, and wasn't all that satisfied, and returned her to the Table Store. And, these special tables being what they are, he of course didn't get his money back.)
And, Ms. Craig: Your indignation at being asked "what do you offer" is quite telling. It means you don't really offer anything of value. If you won't freely tell me what you offer, then you're hiding something, or you don't have anything to offer.
Men: What you want is important. What you need is important. How you want your relationship to look is important. You have EVERY right to demand that any woman you are considering meet your standards. You have EVERY right to put them in the scales to see how they measure up. Make women stand and deliver. Make them prove it to you. Make them show you they will enhance your life. Or leave them where you found them.
One last thing. This is Lauren Craig. I will leave it to you to determine why she's 38 and single. You can draw your own conclusions on why she has yet to find a "wealthy man" to wife her up.
- The idea that men go to work and get careers to get pussy has kind of fallen by the wayside, Ms. Table, in case you haven't noticed. Women like Ms. Table are freely giving up pussy to men who live in fleabag apartments and sleep on moldy mattresses on the floor. Women like Ms. Table are gleefully fucking jobless hot guys, homeless men, drunks, drug addicts, drug dealers, criminals, and other assorted shitbags. So don't come in here and tell me you need a job and money to get pussy. If you're a hot guy or an outlaw, you're swimming in pussy.
sleepyweaselisawake Mod 3y ago
I'll take this one step further.. I don't need a table. I haven't had a use for one since I left home. They're a nice accessory to fill space in an apartment or a house. But, a table simply becomes another place that collects stuff.
And, isn't that a wonderful allegory for a woman? An object that exists in your house whose soul purpose is to collect stuff? It doesn't contribute much, it has limited purpose, and most people have them because.. it's what most people have.
Not having a table in my home has not impacted me in any kind of negative way. In fact, the opposite. Not having a table makes it easier to pack up and move. It's one less thing to drag around the country, it's one less thing collecting dust, and one less thing I have to think about.
goodmansaysfuckyou Mod 3y ago
Kind of off subject, but.......
Does anyone else find it hilariously ironic that her stock photo is of her fat ass on a CAROUSEL?
silly_birb 3y ago
Being virgin was the easiest way for women to be chosen by men.
Feminism destroyed that with "the fear of missing out".
Now women have existantial crises because they need to show something else fron a hymen.
Patrice O'Neil once joked saying "if you women suddenly had no pussies, what would you do to keep a man?"
Women in the public: "Oral! Anal!"
Patrice: "So you women are defining yourselves as a bunch of holes !
You could have said 'being good at telling stories' or 'being good at xbox' ..."
[deleted] 3y ago
Do you have a source or youtube on this? Because that sounds hilarious. I loved that guy. :-)
EDIT: Found it. LOL
moorekom Mod 3y ago
His punchline: "I gave you an opportunity to define yourself and you classified yourself as a series of holes. But, somehow I am supposed to treat you special".
silly_birb 3y ago
True story!
attongirdeaux 3y ago
To be fair, he asked for input from a crowd at a comedy show. Offense intended: people who go to late night comedy shows are not people I expect to see high level thought or superb moral character from. People who are drunk at 11pm in public on a friday arent the people I look to for anything.
moroots 3y ago
counterpoint: in vino Veritas
(for those not well versed: wine brings out the truth)
[deleted] 3y ago
Love latin:
Carpe Vinum
moorekom Mod 3y ago
Aka we bring nothing to the table.
While she seems to be concentrated on the first part, she conveniently overlooks the second part since that is not as supplicating to her ego. Men go through self-improvement so that they can choose the women they want to get with. It does not work the same way for women because of biological and evolutionary reasons.
So, you're not the table. The man is. He provides the stable base with which you can build a family. Until a man can provide the stability needed to raise a family and children, women cannot have families. Isn't that the reason they cry waatgm and attempt to shame men to "grow up"?
Let's say women do become the table. That they become so valuable they can provide the base for a stable family formation. How many of those go for:
Or,
The main reason women improve themselves is not because they would want to provide to a partner, but in the hopes of finding a partner who is even better. Women think that if they can get a Master's degree, then they deserve a man with a Master's degree at the very least and that no matter what credentials and accomplishments he has (which are of course better than hers), that they should enter the relationship as equals.
Unfortunately for women, what they find sexy in a man is not what men find sexy in them. So, you're not the table. You often are not. Men will continue to ask what you bring to the table until the day women become the provider of the family. Your pussy does not make you special, especially when it is used up and comes with a rotten package.
Magnet2 3y ago
A second hand, beat up table that has holes drilled through it all over. A second hand table that could take half of everything I've ever worked for if I don't live up to the tables expectations. No thanks, I'll eat over the sink.
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Typo-MAGAshiv Mod 3y ago
Good shit, brother.
Think she'll be someone worth revisiting, like "relationship expert" Dr. Kerry McAvoy?
NoFaithInThisSub 3y ago
You write excellent posts. I look forward to them.
moroots 3y ago
really the only response necessary is "how's that working out for ya?"
where is her rich husband/BF? does he exist? if not why not? could it be that the guys she wants to deal with aren't impressed by what she has to offer? wouldn't an intelligent person design a sales pitch designed to allure his or her target market?
she is going to be sad and lonely for a long long time. the whole entitlement is just a veneer to cover for her low self esteem