I was requested to post this here...
I guess I'm one of those man children the women complain about.
When I was 30 i looked like I was 18, im short at 5'9", and only made 50k. I had a Stem BS. I am nerdy science guy.
Now I'm 50 and i look like I'm 35 ( I love the wrinkles on my face and with my salt and pepper hair and beard I look distinguished.) I can't wait until im 60, ill look like I'm 40. Im still only still 5'9", but now I make 110k. I have an MS. My career is going places. I am still a nerdy science guy. There is financial value in being a nerdy stem guy.
At 30 i was so starved for affection that any woman could have trapped me. Average looks, overweight, frumpy, low education, low earner. Any woman. I would have loved her with my whole heart and soul. But alas you weren't interested.
Now at 50 I want nothing to do with women.
Not because I hate them, I surely don't but I learned to do with out. They weren't interested in me, ok. I moved on.
I learned to do for myself because I had no choice. I learned to embrace singlehood. To revel in it. As I got used to it the feelings of loneliness went away. In fact alone time is the best time. My time is my own. My hobbies and adventures fill my life.
But the women I know say I'm missing out on so much. Like what? What can a woman provide me i can't do for myself?
Kids. nope. Not interested. I was committed childfree my whole life. personal choice. Non negotiable. Dont need your womb.
Sex. I've had sex with 12 women. One night stands (plural) , ltrs, played house for a while. Most of the women I was with just weren't that good. They never initiated anything. Never did the sex things I was interested in. Nothing crazy, a little lingere, a little role play, a little spice. Nothing. I always had to do all of the work. Most of them just laid there and starfish. I turned down sex with a live in partner because I was tired and didn't want to do all the work tonight. Well with that level of effort and reward I can just jerk off.
Dating. Sure it i used to be more fun to do things as a couple. But how much rejection and pain did I have to swallow to get to be able to pay for that one date and then you said you weren't interested. Do i get my money back then?
Money. I've earned my own. Being affluent dinks might have been nice but I have more money than I need with my simple tastes. and none of them are content with what they have. They always want more. More stuff, more junk, more clutter, more debt.
Drama. There is none in my life. None. I mean am I grilling pork chops or steak tonight?
Cook and clean. What I do is pay a nice grandmother $10/hr cash twenty hours a month. 5 hours a week covers most of the dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc. deep cleaning one room a week. She brings me meals on her days because it's easier to cook for two, ok.
Shopping. I like to cook so Instacart delivers my groceries for $10 every two weeks.
Yard work. I pay a boy to mow the lawn and clear the snow.
Divorce. Yep. Im missing that. If I want to lose that much money, I'll start gambling. The way I figure, blackjack has better odds than marriage.
Then add the feminist BS. hard pass. Nag and harp about non issues. How im keeping you down in 2020. how I abuse you by paying a maid to do the housework? How I oppress you by letting work a fun job while I cover the bills?
I'm working 100% for me and my goals. A frugal minimalist lifestyle that provides meaning in my life That I enjoy. For me. Its not fancy but every day is an adventure and every meal a feast.
And lastly, to the women. You told us you didn't need us anymore and we listened. We learned to do without. We moved on. don't believe me. Read the literature, if a man doesn't have a first marriage by 35, statistically he won't get married. We learn to do without.
All you had to do is show a little interest in me at 30, love me, show a little enthusiasm in the bedroom and at 50 I'd let you work part time if you want. A fun or hobby job. You'd be semi retired by now. We'd still have the maid, the yard guy, and the shopper. What would do all day? Relax, shop, Facebook, spend my money?
A life of technolgy and leisure that 99% of women who ever lived in the last 10k years could dream of.
But I'm short and nerdy.
liaisonguy 3y ago
Yep. And I'm pleased the ladies are so dense they still haven't figured out who has the resources. Grey man gets left alone. They post WAATGM on social media and I chuckle while sipping my tequila.
Brickles09 3y ago
Like the women who rejected me, all living miserable lives now... Women do terrible "emotional" choices.
rubix_fucked 3y ago
Only one recommendation. Change your post title to Free Man checking in. Man child is a woman's terminology.
Nice post regardless. You have outlined a viable life plan to any others that are wise enough follow in your footsteps.
Maximedius 3y ago
That's my experience too. Women try harder for a one night stand than for a relationship. What the hell is up with that?
Wrathful_Buddha 3y ago
Thanks man I needed this
Dls95405 3y ago
Every woman in the nation needs to read this excellent piece. You could be writing my life story, and that of millions of other men who have come to the same conclusions.
Luck-67 3y ago
I totally understand the message of your post , have the visual and kudos to you for the awakening , BUT:
If you’re 50, young looking, even lightly fit , groomed , clean and have your mental shit together, with the ability to roll out a little game....those 12 non events can easily become a warm up of what you apparently haven’t experienced yet. If your libido warrents it and you can keep up with them, you’re in a very , very good spot right now. Just sayin’
battyryder 3y ago
Seconded.
lurkerhasarisen Mod 3y ago
A Chad friend of mine who found himself divorced in his late 40s and early 50s told me that when it came to NSA sex, it wasn't really a matter of convincing, but rather a matter of scheduling.
TBF, the reason he was divorced is because he cheated on his first wife and knocked up his mistress. He deeply regretted all that and accepted 100% of the blame, and he became a stand-up guy when he re-married, but when you see the way even women in their 30s act around Chads in their "Clooney" years, it's a real eye-opener. One of my former colleagues is like that: we called him the Waitress Whisperer because the rest of us could sit at a table for 20 minutes waiting for a menu, and the moment he sat down the waitresses would swarm our table and fawn all over him.
SwinginPastMyKnees_ 3y ago
That assumes that a woman is going to bring joy to this man's life. Odds are, it won't.
Luck-67 3y ago
I think you guys read that I’m suggesting he get in another relationship. Not the case. What I’m saying is he’s in a prime place to get his brains fucked out regularly, with much better talent. JMHO, but very good sex (which he clearly hasn’t had) trumps permanent masturbation. I would hope he capitalizes on it.
SwinginPastMyKnees_ 3y ago
I agree that good sex trumps masturbating. However, to get good sex requires work. He may not have to work on himself, but he'd have to use energy to get out there and meet women for this good sex. That may be more effort than it's worth.
loneliness-inc Mod 3y ago
Thanks for writing this.
Makhmalak 3y ago
Beautiful and inspiring story
MrMrBear 3y ago
I'm 6 ft. But, FR, 5'9" isn't short. It's simply not tall in the US. But it is in 50+% of the world.
Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty burnt out on women, but frankly its just humanity. Human beings suck because they all treat each other like trash. And now that 95% of humanity has treated me like trash, I'm having trouble not viewing humanity as trash.
Anyways, I'm sure you could hangout with women if you wanted. Relationship conceptions have really opened up in the last 5 years. I didnt even know what "Polyamorous" meant 5 years ago." Plus, the less you care about them, the more they want you. Lol. They're so fucked up.
But just do what you want. Find your people, try to be a good person, and then just live your best life. Can't no dumdum fuckin lady tell you how to live. (Find a woman-child! Build blanket-forts! LOTR Marathons!!)
Porphyrogennetos 3y ago
Less than 15% of men are over 6 ft.
Many of them are Dutch, or descended from them, so if you don't live in the Netherlands, or North West Europe, or the Minnesota/Dakota/Mid-Canada area, best of luck to you.
Deadwitch1 3y ago
Had me the first half, not gonna lie. Then you went crazy on us
MrMrBear 3y ago
I'm hoping you're kidding.
Theres 99 versions of fucking asshats these days. You just gotta find your people. Then you'll never feel alone again.
That coming from someone who still feels kinda alone, but I'm pretty sure I get it now. You can tell when you've finally landed. Things suddenly feel pretty different.
Porphyrogennetos 3y ago
Everything he said was correct.
Texan2116 3y ago
Fuckin A
mjladieman 3y ago
If I had an award I’d give it to you.
ChadInKorea 3y ago
Kudos to you, sir! That’s the way to go in the West.
BTW, you’re not short at 5ft 9. That’s average in the US.
lurkerhasarisen Mod 3y ago
WhO hUrT yOu, InCeL?
Just kidding. Good post, man. No bitterness... no complaining... just an honest assessment of what happens when two or three generations of women pass up Mr. Right in favor of Mr. Right-Now until it's too late, and the rational way you play the hand you were dealt.
Ironically, this is the sort of thing that's likely to end up on niceguys or inceltears with no regard for the fact that - not only have you been with a dozen different women - you could easily have an endless parade of single mothers trying to love-bomb you back to the plantation if you wanted it.
I remember a quote attributed to Bill Gates in 2010,
For young women it might read,
Aldabruzzo Mod 3y ago
Just to amplify this a little....
The reason this ends up on places like niceguys or inceltears is that no one ever wants to consider what the MALE half of the relationship equation wants, needs, and desires.
It never seems to occur to people that when there's a male-female relationship of any kind, there's a MAN in there. That man wants, needs, and desires things from that relationship.
But oh no, we can't listen to or hear the man saying "i want, need and desire things, and I need for you, woman, to give them to me, and you're not holding up your end of the bargain here, and that's a problem".
Oh no, if a man wants or needs it, that's irrelevant. If he desires it, it doesn't matter.
And that's why we find ourselves where we are.
lurkerhasarisen Mod 3y ago
Yep... it's like the whole society has tacitly accepted the FDS philosophy that men are just there to make themselves available to women for whatever they want.
Their wants are irrelevant.
Their expectations are entitlement.
Their standards are misogyny.
Their obligations are limitless.
Their displeasure is abuse.
And they wonder why men are walking away from commitment.
Kalel9798 3y ago
You’re a bit older than I am, and our career paths are different, but beyond that, I could have easily written this myself.
jp_mra 3y ago
I ask men and women this all the time. They get really confused by this question.
Eventually men list all the things a woman gets, and says, "when she's happy, that makes me happy, so that's what I get."
Eventually the women list the things women get, too. One woman told me, "a man gets status and financial security by marrying a woman."
LobsterMassMurderer 3y ago
Ha! Hahahaa! Financial security, that's a good one!
washingtonpanther 3y ago
They kept telling us to take rejection. Well, that sword cuts both ways.
Maximedius 3y ago
But you see, men have to make do while women are entitled to have all their wishes fulfilled in life! /s
washingtonpanther 3y ago
Yeah, well, you chose the cat life, Tinderellas.
Something_Chronical 3y ago
Yep, there'll be a large number of very lonely and depressed women in about 15 years. They'll wonder why men ditched them.
manifested_ 3y ago
Honestly cant wait to see this
lurkerhasarisen Mod 3y ago
That demographic already exists. I would argue that we're currently three waves in and the fourth is starting to break even now.
The first wave was the women born in the late 1930s through the Baby Boomers who drove the divorce rate through the roof when "No Fault" divorce laws made their appearance and quickly spread everywhere. The women had the "best" of both worlds: the freedom to abandon their marriages and the knowledge that their husbands would be on the hook for lifetime alimony.
The second wave was women of my generation - Generation Jones, as well as Gen X, and Gen Y - who mostly got married after a few spins on the carousel as the Sexual Revolution peaked. They discovered what their mothers and aunts should have known but didn't: riding the carousel doesn't make them happy, nor did it lead to better marriages.
The third wave started when Gen Z women discovered online dating and dating apps like Tinder, and the oldest women from that group spill ink (and Chardonnay), bemoaning the lack of "financially attractive" men willing to wife-up women with n-counts that would have made a 19th Century prostitute blush.
The fourth wave may end up in gingham if they're lucky and burkas if they're not.
[Minor edits for clarity.]
AzN1337c0d3r 3y ago
I dont get the reference to gingham.
lurkerhasarisen Mod 3y ago
In the 50s and 60s gingham dresses were the sort of thing respectable women wore. If you're old enough, think Lucille Ball, from "I love Lucy," Barbara Billingsley from "Leave it to Beaver, or Jane Wyatt from "Father Knows Best."
It was practically a "Good Wife" uniform.
My point is that women will either go back to the very good deal they had under Western patriarchy (if they're lucky) or end up under the heel of Middle-eastern goat-shaggers (if they're not).
getfuckedrogerstone 3y ago
I think I love you
disayle32 3y ago
Hah. Gaaaaaayyyy
silly_birb 3y ago
Women don't want to invest in a man, they plan to "get serious at 30"
Would anyone buy a 60th hand car full price?
My cousin is blupilled af, he thinks that suddenly he got popular because he dated women of 28-30yo. He cannot see the real picture.
ChadInKorea 3y ago
One of my best friends is a Chadlite and bluepilled asf as well. He thinks women like him because of his personality and
terriblesense of humor, not because of his physical appearance. He’s never had a healthy relationship and women have always taken advantage of him.A friend in common and I often try to open his eyes to no avail.
ZealousMaths 3y ago
he will probably wake up after alimony. That’s usually what it takes sadly.
AncientMGTOWWISDOM 3y ago
damn you can get cleaning for 10$ an hour, fuck! what state are you in? because in Boston, cleaning help is 15-20$
[deleted] 3y ago
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AncientMGTOWWISDOM 3y ago
i pay cash too, I run an airbnb business and used to hire cleaning lady, 20 an hour was the best i could find. I just do all the cleaning myself now since covid smashed my profit margin.
Noob_in_Dating 3y ago
Please guide us, Sir
Nuzzy21 3y ago
That's awesome man. You are doing really well! I may not be as red-pilled as most people are on here. So keep that in mind with my next "advice", But I really think you have the ability and mindset to very successfully date on your own terms. Especially if you don't have anything to lose (in the sense rejection means nothing to a man who doesn't care). I would throw some hooks out on an app or two, with exactly what you want. Like, "looking for someone fun to add some excitement to my life, I'll add some to yours too" or something like that. and after talking for a bit, then you could invite girls over to your place for a home-cooked dinner. If they say yes, it's basically guarenteed sex, with minimal effort. And if they say no, you barely wasted any if your time and can delete them.
Idk, I just feel like you have alot of confidence you didn't have before, and are in such a strong position, dating could be alot of fun! Especially if you set all the boundaries.
I'll probably get roasted in the comments...
Luck-67 3y ago
Seconded. Dude has no idea how much overall talent he can reel in IF he wants those experiences. I hate to see a guy like him with his mindset ....give up after a mere 12 ho-hum warm ups.
Existing-Cold 3y ago
My Chad brother just brings girls over to fuck in his empty dorito bag filled bedroom at my mom's house, he doesn't have to do anything like that and neither should OP.
Nuzzy21 3y ago
So a few points if you don't mind me saying. OP isn't a Chad though. And is in his 50s. But what I suggested is barely more then what your brother does. And a home cooked meal is cheap as hell and something I do anyway. Like I just meal prep then. 10/15 texts and Half a chicken breast with seasoning on a frying pan + a few veggies is a very worthy trade for sex to me. And you do that once, they are so impressed with "a man who can cook" that you basically got them locked in for more sex in the future whenever you want lol.
RedPill_Dragon 3y ago
Keep on preaching. Men need to hear this.