I'm more asking than telling. Do you notice this? Has it always been this way? The type of obsession where a woman wants you to come over and spoon with her isn't what I'm talking about here. It's some feeling where she almost wants to be you and admires you as a mentor, but ultimately wants to expose and descredit you to pad her weak self image? Sound familiar? This seems like an emerging trope in our society effecting women 33 and younger. The plot of the movie Phantom Thread seems like the psychology I mean. Phil Hartmans wife is the most awful expression of such a jealousy.
Example: met and talked to a girl for 2 months while I was out of town...heavy flirting and her begging for sex...finally make an arrangement to visit her to bang and 2 days before she says she heard slander about me from exes online and how "ashamed I should be" I told her to fuck off if she wont judge me based on how I treat her and that's that.
Previous to that, she had admired my knowledge and how "unique" I was blah blah. I do stuff in the arts and was very knowledgeable of things she was just starting to learn about. I knew her exact taste but it was young and uninformed and I began to guide her playfully and she nibbled on the fun catnip. Yet in situations like this I feel there is always underlying resentment. Is my power mentor role too weak? Haha. The first negative thing she could find she flipped into full blown sjw fighting on behalf of all women when any guy whos fucked a lot if girls is bound to have angry exes.
Women want power and mentorship but unless you get them under your spell with enough dating they will avenge their infatuation with it by turning on you. Society encourages it. Dumb younger girls think its heroic to "shut men down" and lecture them when they know no details. Such a paranoid culture.
My current plate has none of this underlying inbalance. She lets me lead her and tries creatively to please me. She missed this wider indictrination I notice. Should I just avoid the above resentful protegee type if I can't close the deal quickly. I travel a lot and sometimes stay "penpals" with the girls I meet but I feel this just gives them time to go cray before they are invested in me. I think I need internet free girls in a small town lol.
The idea that someone lectures me in this way is really upsetting but It's all life and love and I'll just focus on the good women that know how to respect a man who respects himself.
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chaseemall 5y ago
Maybe not...
Remember, women are like dogs. They need to know their person (master) approves of them. If you're constantly asserting superiority over your dog, what's it gonna do? It's gonna get mean, right? Or obstinate. Or act out.
When a woman responds positively to your leadership, to your queues, you need to reward her. An approving nod, or a smile is perfect. We tend to stress the stick side of the carrot and the stick here, because most men have no stick at all. But, when a woman starts trying to tear you down, it's often because she feels like she's unable to live up to your mentorship. She feels unable to adequately mold herself to you, because she's not getting any positive feedback on her efforts to do so. So, of course, she tries to break the mold.
Reward compliance.
EDIT: a word or three
doughboyfreshh 5y ago
I discovered TRP about 2 years ago and I am amazed about how much progress I have made. I was definitely a "nice guy" before and I've slowly gone from blue to purple but now I'm feeling the shift to full red. A lot of shit on this thread is for people first discovering this and it's hard to find new information as I've read up on about everything. But I had an encounter with a female like this and I got all mad and let her bring me down. It is refreshing to see posts like this which keep me humbled and let me know that there is still more to learn whilst I still make mistakes. I couldn't figure out why these girls were constantly putting their insecurities on me and trying to bring me down but you have breathed new life into me. I love that feeling of excitement when you read a red-pill truth that you have experienced and it all just clicks in your head and your like ohh so that's what was going on. It's always like you subconsciously knew too what was going on but you just need to be reassured that people are having the same experiences you are.
Koolmoedontt 5y ago
Men have to navigate so much on this social journey alone. To find the commonality we shared in this issue has been helpful. The key is to not let the flattery of the fawning trick you into submitting to her frame. I just read a story of a girl who married a musician as a fan, had a kid with him, and now says he was "abusive" and successfully ended his showbiz career in indie music. Shes GAINING exposure trying to be a D list Rose Mcgowan off him. Dunno if it's true but it's all vague and their private life. This is getting deeper, especially any girls hungry for public attention: You can be their ticket to validity. Watch out but don't worry. Be confident in yourself and dont seek validation to complete you. Keep things on your terms and dont get hung up on one girl, flee if it's dodgy and voila.
sexy_mofo1 5y ago
I had a lady friend like this in my late teens - to - mid 20's, but with a little experience you learn that these are traits of just about anyone with some kind of narcissist disorder.
Narcissists both over-romanticize you, while at the same time feel raging envy towards you. There they are, suddenly stuck to your hip, gushing about how great you are or how great your insight is, etc. Yet over time, they slowwwwly start to pick away at you. A a seemingly benign look here. I seemingly benign comment there. Things executed and calculated at perfect moments for the express purpose that it might put a small crack in your confidence or self-esteem. Most people don't even realize it is happening until they are already completely worn down and picked apart by these people.
And yeah, when it comes to a person who is not family, you need to own and accept your part in it as well, if you ever find yourself in the situation. You look at yourself as some kind of mentor. Thanks to that - thanks to your own ego - you ultimately let them in, since you believed you were too savvy to have to keep any sort of guard up, and that this person was the "babe lost in the woods," when next to you, and not the wolf in sheep's clothing who you're actually being played by.
Don't ever put yourself in a position where you're "mentoring" a woman. (Or anyone really.) Nine times out of ten you'll think you're being hot shit when in fact you're likely being owned in ways you couldn't possibly imagine.
RedKingRising 5y ago
Don't fuck people you mentor. Don't try to mentor people you are fucking.
lbrownlbandit 5y ago
I get that this post can be an example of this but could you possibly elaborate a little more as to why? I was dating this girl a while back who I use to give advice/mentor her in business. It didn't end well, would just like to know if this could have been a reason.
RedKingRising 5y ago
metoo is why. I'm 20 years that girl may come back and say she felt pressured to sleep with you for your mentorship. How can you prove otherwise? Just don't mentor them in any way. Their business/ career is none of your concern. You are just there for fun.
Koolmoedontt 5y ago
I didnt try. It wasnt earnest mentor effort on my part she kind of started it and latched onto certain types of personality traits I had..i sort of humbly played along or w/e while trying to establish my concrete goals with her which were just sexual...maybe thats a sign its a trap. I have to watch out.
Sommbie 5y ago
Speaking from experience, I’d avoid the women that want to push you down in any way. They are extremely insecure and want your life, they don’t care about you at all - they care about the power you’re carrying around.
I had a friend who was dating a girl like you described, she later admitted to a girl I knew that she realised that she wanted my friends lifestyle (he was an entrepreneur, ran his own company and was always on the phone) and not him. She broke it off and now she’s back in school.
Some women don’t even come to this realisation and run through/down heaps of men who have their shit together, trying to fill their own void.
yellowboy212 5y ago
They’re shit testing. Amused mastery and hold frame. Simple
maplemaximus 5y ago
They’re softening you up to destroy you. That simple, it’s not some bipolar disorder. They’re just playing you.
Koolmoedontt 5y ago
So you're saying just another bored diversion to boost ego & see a guys reaction? Yeah I get that. Is there any deeper strategy you suggest beyond just identifying them early as a vampiric loser and writing them off? It's not like I have some utopian vision or am incredibly shocked. Just noticing this was a blind spot of mine and I think it's a larger problem too. Shouldnt be that hard to fix. Standards pretty much eliminate the problem. Noone should put up with that.
tiffanyoiler_ 5y ago
Look at their peer group (or lack off). Looking at a women who frequently says she cuts people off is a red flag and is looking to bend those to her will.
If she has a peer group, notice who is the main thot of the group. If her friends aren’t as promiscuous, she’s most likely the main thot which is a red flag. If not, most likely the main thot of her core group will influence her to make terrible decisions and future shit tests.
Dmva100 5y ago
They want you to concede to their frame so they can cuck you. Betatization process 101.
Never give them an inch, or they'll take a mile*
Unless the inches are your engorged, venous cawk*
Koolmoedontt 5y ago
Thats a brilliant point. So you're saying it's a type of bait she knew I'd fall for so she could establish the terms? Then once we're both on a carpet she's holding she can then just drag it from under my feet when she wants. She must feel lost unless she does that. Very creepy actually. Need to analyze such luers more.
newName543456 5y ago
Careful, there are dreaded cluster B's out there. If the flip is like night and day between respect and vitriol, I'd expect above to be the case.
fromthecrypt8 5y ago
Can absolutely relate. Even on a platonic level they do this shit. In those situations I find it’s mostly about them attempting to correct their low self esteem by putting down someone they admire - as OP points out.