After lurking here for quite a while, and getting more and more accustomed to daily dose of RP I wanted to share my own story of RP journey so far which was more or less half a year only, but it is already a skyrocket from the bottom to, well, to much better place. I feel a need to share this story which is expression of gratitude and possible help for others starting their journey.

For some this is may be a boring blog/autobiography but some of you might see similar patterns in your lives and use it to reassure themselves about the right path to take.

Sorry for the long post but there is so much shit I want to share with you brothers in arms.

I had an uber BP upbringing where submission to authorities, religion and thus gynocentrism was pumped into my brain every day. Sexual repression, BP betabux doormat father with lack of positive examples, control freak mother unsatisfied by her marriage and staying faithful only due to hardcore Catholic brainwash.

All of that resulted in 24 yo virgin me with no job, studying some shit faculty, wasting all of his time on video games and internet browsing. You want to know what sexual repression means? I’ve started masturbating no sooner than 24, my first wake orgasm was at that age, all before was only wetting my bed. All my school life I was this calm insecure beta guy, that had like 3 encounters with females and kissed like 2 of these. Nothing more, just hanging out with other nerds and losers till my 20’s.

Things changed when I made some chad friend during my studies and started lifting with them. For the first time I started really attracting women.

I’ve started dating, but most of these chicks were not turning me on, I was just desperate for validation and to finally get laid. That’s how I met my ex. She was way below my SMV, quite chubby but still fuckable enough to not make me burn in shame while being seen with her (I was still desperate for validation and had hardcore scarcity mindset). She was the one who approached me, obviously, because I would never dare to approach myself. I passively went on with all of it just to get some fucks. That’s where the hell begun.

During our first date she got attacked by her current fiancée which she apparently wanted to cheat on with me. He attacked her with broken glass in a pub when we were making out. Guy just busted in and cut her face in front of me. Thankfully to chad pals I had my gains, I was also training boxing with them frequently. I basically took down this guy with one punch to his face while he only managed to scream “It’s my girlfriend!”. Little fucks did I give back them, first time I was chad, I was alpha, I smashed the guy, I smashed her this night too. That night I lost my virginity at age 25. Seemed like a beginning of a great relationship, did it not?

She told me this guy was just her stalker, a psycho and all this girlfriend stuff was bullshit. Nope. It was true. After some time of hanging out together she already begun to shit test me like a motherfucker, I failed majority of tests. Girl was a psychopath, told me she is bipolar, but her therapists would refuse to continue therapy for her which mostly happens for BPD people. Most probably she was BPD. As I started to fail all the shit testing, she knew she could get me down to the level of beta I have not even achieved before. My psychological degradation begun. I lost most of my friends and social life. I stopped lifting. I moved in to her flat. I started performing badly at my studies. Became chubby for a first time in my life as I was this thin kind of guy that never gets fat before.

Girl gave me hell. She spent some time in a mental hospital, she expressed all the red flags mentioned in this vid. ALL OF THEM CHECKED. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iihsbrwqZLU&t=8s

• lovebombing
• pity stories of being raped and molested before
• being jealous of porn I’ve became addicted to as I’ve started reaching new levels of beta
• calling for chivalry and protector mode, whiteknighting because her psycho ex
• shaming for control “what kind of man are you?”

More than that she started displaying alcohol issues, getting drunk most of these days, going out alone without me (she was already cheating probably), she also started becoming even more and more fat which amazes me she still was able to find side fucks. Whatever. Finally after our relationship started to fall apart she told me “I don’t love you anymore”.

You know hat I did?

I broke down crying. I want to kill myself at sole memory of it.

We made up few days later, since probably her monkeybranch failed and she came back to me. Me denial of course about possibility of such thing, she just loved me back. Shit went on smoothly from then, until her mother got cancer. She fell back into alcoholic abuse complaining that I don’t give her enough emotional support (“you are fucking beta bitch”). She demanded me to swear that I’ll never leave her because now she can’t be alone, she can’t live without me, she loves me forever and she will kill herself if I leave. I demanded her to swear that she never cheated on me. We both swore. She emotionally blackmailed me to propose to her. I did it while being drunk, when we came back fucked up from some party. We started preparing for wedding.

Long story short. In the end I started to get flashes of sanity. She forgot to log out from my noteebok and I was able to go through her facebbok converstions.

What I’ve read there was her talk with female friend about how that beta nice guy loser she’s with is total failure, that she should keep fucking around like she does right now, that she has affair with some older higher positioned man and she was hoping that my proposal will make this guy want to get serious with her (he probably pumped few times and dumped or avoided commitment).

This evening was the moment I took the natural RP without even knowing of its existence. For the first time I stood for myself, moved out despite her cries, lies that it was all made up to her female friend because she’s bipolar and mythomaniac and schizopherniac and whatever the fuck else she can be. There were suicide threats, she even tried to bullshit me about being pregnant with me, also blackmailing calls from her dying mother. For the first time whiteknight ended

I SAID FUCK THEM ALL

Moved out. Blocked her.

First I went total MGTOW. I’ve decided that women are not worth of any of my attention, I will play video games and jerk off to anime till the end of my life because society filled with women has nothing better and safer to offer. But there was chick at my workplace. Solid 8.5/10, with fun open personality, finding interest in me for some reason, probably compassion because she got to know my story. She started inviting me to places to go with her after work and stuff. The problem is she had a boyfriend and I had freshly gained trust issues. I told myself she wanted to make fun of me, and that’s all some sick joke to shame me among workplace buddies. Despite that I decided to try and made a move on her, she rejected me and made laugh at me with other people at my workplace. First time I have learned about frame naturally, I’ve just started laughing with them and suddenly we all were back in friendly atmosphere, she kept hanging out with me as her official orbiter, but this time she begun being more seducing and sexual the more I kept making fun off all this situation. The frame started to work.

Other people started inviting me to do sports together, hang around with them during parties and meetings. First time I had social life that was not based on my Steam friends list.

My ego was hurt though. I wanted to pay back that bitch the same way. I had to level up, I had to seduce her, fuck her and dump or just reject and humiliate her. I started lifting again. Started my research about seduction. It became something between onetis/revenge plan.

Finally, I’ve found RP. Holy shit my mind got blown. In one year I changed my life by 180 degree, I’ve implemented all of RP knowledge with focus on dark triad manipulative psychopath because I was empty and dead inside, I wanted to make hurt and see the world burn.

Got cured from new onetis, learned about abundance, started dating and approaching chiks I’ve never dreamt of. My workplace girl was still asking me to go out with her to parties with friends, and social events. No signs of her boyfriend around. As I limited my interest in her and practiced abundance by dating other chiks with higher SMV than hers, she started sucking up to me herself. Messaging me late at night, dirty talking, getting touchy with me and desperate jealous of time and attention that was her before.

The breakpoint was the moment I was out with her at some pub and she gave me nuclear shit test by starting to hit on some other guy in front of me. What did I? I chose the most beautiful chick in pub and approached her. I spent rest of the night with the prettiest girl I’ve ever approached while workplace girl went back home alone red faced and angry.

I’ve acquired a 9.5/10 plate. I couldn’t resist bragging constantly about fuck marathons with this new chick in my workplace in presence of the workplace girl. Shit was so cash, I could feel the burn. My ego was still thirsty for blood. The plate girl was a wall hitter and wanted to settle down with me, I was giving her fake signs of commitment, while using her just for sex and revenge on some other chick that I wanted to make cheat on her bf with me. I was the bad guy for the first time in my life.

Meantime I also bragged about all of this to my old friend. Chad getting laid like crazy since our early age I was always looking up to. I told him about this new “RP” stuff. He said he had known about “RP” for a long time, long before me. We had very interesting talk that evening. He said I’m pathetic and I’m still fooling around, being ridiculous just to get laid and feed my ego.

Finally the plate chick gave me ultimatum, I said openly that I don’t give a shit about her, and she can fuck off. I left her, never called back. At first I was satisfied, I was the king.

The next morning, I looked into the mirror, I remembered what RP chad told me, I started to feel bad. I nearly broke down crying.

It did not feel that good at all. I started to feel bad for the plate girl.

Workplace girl is still hitting on me, we are going out regularly but she keeps baiting with no reward. I lost my interest I don’t want to meddle in her business and relationship anymore. There are lots of free young girls that just want to fuck around without consequences. I just still need to learn to make right choices and go for the right kind of women. We are hanging out with RP chad regularly now and discussing all the concepts and experiences, going out to clubs and stuff. Kudos to you if you read this.

Now I’m kind dealing with returning lack of motivation, since I’ve dropped my ego, I hope, and it’s no longer source of my fuel. I need to work on mission I guess. There is still much more to this story but I’ve tried to point out the most important aspects. Take this experience and put it to your databases, I hope it will make your own research richer somehow.