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- Hide Preview | 99 Comments | submitted 2 years ago by Skizzy4325 [Post Locked]

I am 26, and I remember how dumb and naive I was at 18 (basically the age when real life begins), here are a few things which I wish I could tell my 18 year old past self:

Take care of your health and body - Health is by far the most important thing in life, without it, life is impossible. Everything else becomes insignificant if you have serious health issues. Also work on your body, create the most physically capable and visually attractive version of yourself.

Never chase women - It's not about picking up girls or trying to form a relationship with them, that is completely futile if you don't really have anything to offer them. What you need to do is become attractive to them, 1) Visually (work on your body, style, hygiene, etc), and 2) Lifestyle (What women ultimately want is to be a part of your lifestyle). Also, you don't really want a woman just for sex, you are not an animal, you are a higher being, the reason why you really want a woman is to complement your lifestyle.

Always set goals and deadlines - Without this, your life cannot move forward, and you will just be drifting aimlessly for years. And you need deadlines, there is no such thing as laziness, there is only lack of incentive (either reward or consequences), if the deadlines by themselves aren't enough incentive, then make sure that there will be consequences if these deadlines are not met.

Choose the right addictions - Addictions can only be replaced by other addictions. Your addictive mind can't be fixed of addictiveness, but you can replace the bad addictions with good ones. Instead of wasting your time playing computer games, go to the gym. Instead of surfing the net and viewing meaningless things, learn some practical skills. If you succumb to cigarettes or alcohol, try vaping and other healthier alternatives instead.

Be a man - Always stand up for yourself and your beliefs, do not be afraid or intimidated by anyone. This applies both in physical confrontations and arguements. If standing up for yourself makes you confrontational, then the problem is not with you, but with people trying to bring you down. This includes not letting your woman boss you around, if you have to capitulate to a woman in order to maintain a relationship, then it is not the right relationship.

Think for yourself - Always make up your own mind about things, do not be influenced or manipulated by anyone. Analyze things based on the information available, and make your own conclusions. Do not conform just to fit in. And most importantly stop idolozing other people, you can only take the good qualities and apply them for yourself, but ultimately we are all human and nobody is flawless or deserves to be idolized like a god.

Visualize things and make them a reality - Do not just storm into action like a headless chicken, think things through in your head first before you take action, however long it may take... The result will be a lot better, and you will probably realize that a lot of the things that you would have done hastily would have been wrong or meaningless.

Change your habits - The change in your lifestyle begins by changing your daily habits, it really is that simple. Train yourself good habits, such as things which organize your daily life. Just take a moment and include into your daily routine all the small things which in the long run will be beneficial, and remove all the things which in the long run will be detrimental or useless.

...These are just some of the things I wish I could tell my past self, I'm sure if I took heed to this, I would be in a better situation today.

[-] [deleted] 2 years ago
[-] nasil_boyle_superim 2 Points 2 years ago

Very beneficial post. Upvoted!

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 2 years ago

Visualize things and make them a reality - Do not just storm into action like a headless chicken, think things through in your head first before you take action, however long it may take... The result will be a lot better, and you will probably realize that a lot of the things that you would have done hastily would have been wrong or meaningless.

Careful not to turn this into the other extreme: analysis paralysis.

I've found having a simple plan, and ironing things out as you go, is better than spending a week accounting for every contingency.

[-] [deleted] 9 Points 2 years ago

never chase women

chase a check, never chase a bitch

think for yourself

mask on, fuck it mask off

Damn Future is all the education I need for this summer

[-] casecarino 17 Points 2 years ago

Switching to vaping made my breath and teeth well. I don't get tired easily on physical activities. Plus I don't smell bad. Now I'm reducing my nicotine and will be off this shit completely

[-] SoulRedemption 1 Point 2 years ago

Good on you. I was a chain smoker and picked up vaping. Moved off ciggies then quit vaping cold turkey. I didn't smoke or vape for over a year. Then I said off my disciplines and made an excuse to myself (hamster) on my grandmas funeral and started smoking again. Now I smoke on and off. I don't get the craving. I can stay without it for weeks but then can get back to it time and again. Time for me to discipline myself again. Good luck on quitting. I know it ain't easy.

[-] MaxwellGaine 1 Point 2 years ago

Something worth checking out are those new nicotine salt pouches. They've kept me off the chew, cigs, snus, vape.

Probably still not great for you, but there's no tobacco in them so risks are minimal.

Zyn is one brand, I've got some called On!, they can be ordered online or gotten in gas stations in the US West.

[-] SoulRedemption 1 Point 2 years ago

I'm not in the west so will prolly have to order online. Thanks. Will check email out.

[-] [deleted] 2 years ago
[-] Skizzy4325 13 Points 2 years ago

I understand this, but this post isn't really meant for incels. It is the advice I would give my past self. If somebody else can find something beneficial to them here, then I am happy for them.

[-] [deleted] 3 Points 2 years ago

For real my dude. I'm 20 and your point that resonated the most with me was don't chase women. Once you start getting with chicks you notice which girls put out signs and they'll start to flock to you. Its so much more satisfying when you get with a woman who was after you from the onset when you used to be in a place wondering why you were getting rejected. When you're not getting any it's hard to understand the advice older dudes give you about focusing on your goal and being the best man you can be but its the God's honest truth.

[-] max_peenor 4 Points 2 years ago

Dude, I though you were being a dumbshit in the other thread, but it's pretty clear you have a serious problem. Head over to ask/trp and ask for help. We won't abandon you if you are sincere.

[-] [deleted] 2 years ago
[-] max_peenor 7 Points 2 years ago

Sorry. Still not going to abandon you.

[-] [deleted] 2 years ago
[-] SquirtGunKelly_5 5 Points 2 years ago

Being successful with women is not a predisposition to good genetics. Yes there may be hurdles to climb if you aren't gifted chiseled abs and huge biceps. You can be an out of shape man and through learning social dynamics become successful with women. This statement you made is in turn an excuse and I advise other people who read it to not fall into it's trap. Hustle out works genetics any day of the week.

[-] hahayeahthatscool 1 Point 2 years ago

That makes no sense. If the girl goes to the guy with good genetics he still will have to compete with guys of similar genetic makeup for a certain class of woman. So of course there is skill involved. No they wouldn't have to use any if they competed with you, but there is a bottom feeder in every ecosystem. Among their peers they must stand out or be the bottom feeder.

And yes at the end of the day only good genes get selected to be reproduced, did you miss biology class? This should be obvious.

[-] Rudeyyyy 12 Points 2 years ago

I'm 5'4 at 19 years old and I still have braces and potentially more braces down the road. Do you see me complaining? No I stopped doing that shit. I stopped thinking why doesn't she like me, why cant I get a girl?

I realized it was because 1) I'm (was) a nice guy 2) I didn't lift 3) I had anxiety 4) I overthought things to the point where it made me sick 5) I didn't read any books like Pook, Models etc. 6.) My hobbies included how many episodes of Sons of Anarchy I could watch one day while on my days off from work

Ever since I cut back on the porn, the video games, and started lifting, learning how to play the drums, and learning to cook I feel better about myself. This in turn boosted my confidence which got rid of my approach anxiety and got me some potential plates. (Still learning, not at that point yet.)

You have no control over genetics. Do you think I wanted to be 5'4 and have braces at 19? Fuck no, and I wish no one else will have to go through that. I realized I can't fix my height. (braces are actually bettering yourself for down the road) so instead I started lifting to counter it. I've gotten more respect at work and from friends and family. I've also gotten shit tests based on how I lift.

Point being, you can't control your genetics but you can increase all the other aspects to make up for it. I'm sure the 6'2 Chad with a chiseled body prob has some insecurities about himself. You can be Chad but if you're Chad without game or frame then what is left? Women will date the 5'9 confident fun average looking guy with maybe a missing tooth but will only do that because he has confidence. He owns his shit and doesn't care what others think.

I realized this when after I started lifting. Helped me drastically. Get over your genetics. You can't control them. You have to own it. If a woman denies you because of the color of your skin its her loss. Simple.

[-] [deleted] 2 years ago
[-] Rudeyyyy 4 Points 2 years ago

You never said specifics of your skin condition. I assumed it was a discolored pigment almost. My point here is that we have things we can't change.

Does it suck? Yeah it sucks. I have a cousin who has a bad heart and has cancer. He doesn't scream at the world. He just accepts it and tries to do what he can to make it easier.

I'm already confident

But yet your post says otherwise in a sense

[-] Thinkingard 1 Point 2 years ago

Advice i would give myself: you are not going to follow through on any good advice so for fucks sake dont get into massive debt.

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 2 years ago

I do not get never chase a woman part. We know that the vast majority of men are beta blue pills, and they stalk girls but never have the guts to get the girls. By acting on a women, you must be demonstrating your alphaness. However, it does not work this way. Nowadays, guys who do not give a fuck but spend more time on their hair than girls get the girls, they are not even manly; meanwhile pursuing a girl is considered as being cringy.

[-] iqbal002 -1 Point 2 years ago

If you got a penis then you gotta hell lot responsibilities

[-] [deleted] 3 Points 2 years ago

Good post! As an 18 year old myself, I will be bookmarking this and referring back often.

[-] jackandjill22 1 Point 2 years ago

Generic, but gold for newbies.

[-] [deleted] 10 Points 2 years ago

I disagree - slightly.

Anyone else writing this would have written about 600 sentences spanning everything from Machiavelli, Aurelius, Strauss & Bilzerian - OP deserves mad props for his concision and writing style.

[-] BlueAndYellow-Blue 3 Points 2 years ago

Good post, thanks for sharing your views. I think the part about thinking for yourself is important, but nonetheless, idols are still needed. Idols will give you a sense of direction and even goals to achieve. You just need to remember that they are people too and you're probably mostly seeing what they want you to see.

[-] NeoreactionSafe 21 Points 2 years ago

 

As a 56 year old guy here's what I would tell my younger self:

 

  • "You know how it seems like television and pop culture is teaching you the very exact opposite of what is the Truth? Well guess what younger self... you were right all along... it's all a mythology designed to damage you so don't fall for any of it. Think for yourself."

 

The Red Pill means you destroy the Blue Pill illusions.

 

[-] max_peenor 107 Points 2 years ago

You can find these sprinkled across various self help books and websites.

Never chase women -

Except this one. I think this is an innovation for us. Of everything in this list and given how things went for me, this is the one that would have had the biggest impact on me early in life.

The odd part is I didn't chase all kinds of women. It's the one I did chase that caused all the problems.

[-] saibot83 24 Points 2 years ago

Only person I ever actively pursued broke my blu pill heart and utterly annihilated me at the time. I hate her and deeply thank her (I'd never tell her that cuz F that bitch, but still) for breaking me. She was a VERY useful lesson in life. About myself, women in general and how things really work in life. As much as it hurt at the time it was absolutely essential experience and ultimately led me to this sub. TRP is a life saver.

[-] MegaDOS 5 Points 2 years ago

same story here bud. hatred and thankfulness.

[-] alefmale 1 Point 2 years ago

me too. appreciate the input from yall

[-] Biglce 1 Point 2 years ago

Same thing here. More life to my RP brothers.

[-] -VaeVictis- 84 Points 2 years ago

As most young guys do. When they eventually land an hb8-10 with blue pill "game" it comes with instant oneitis, endless chasing, humiliation and heartache.

[-] [deleted] 2 years ago
[-] [deleted] 2 Points 2 years ago

I think I needed to hear this. Thanks

[-] iamtheonewhomknocks 22 Points 2 years ago

This, so much so, this. I "didn't need" the red pill as my looks / height got me a steady diet of 6's falling in my lap in college until I landed my first 8/9. She had a great personality and every guy wanted her and blah blah blah I was so glad I pulled it off and she was diiiiiifferent. Cue blue pill behavior, loss of attraction you know the drill. I never exhibited behavior like this with girls I really thought were expendable. Thank you trp for helping me focus on myself, pointing me in the right direction, and most of all thank you for the last two years - they've been some of the best yet.

[-] youkickmyd0g 11 Points 2 years ago

Assuming they act on "F yes or no", if they're not chasing they're gone. If they come around again later they're ovulating and #1 isn't available.

[-] TRPNewbie708 2 Points 2 years ago

Boom. Nailed it on the head. Quite the learning experience, but some men have to travel that path.

[-] batavianguy 3 Points 2 years ago

This. When I was in early 20 i was baffled on how I failed approaching women, while I never had any trouble whatsoever in my teenage years. I felt like it took little to no effort. I was constantly spinning plates.

Then, I realized when I was 20 I began chasing women. Back in High school I didn't give much shit about it and it did attract women, ironically.

[-] Jinkeeze 1 Point 2 years ago

It's always that "one". Isn't it?

[-] cellular_crash 17 Points 2 years ago

Funny, I never chased women and it's always worked out. As the OP said, focus on being something women chase (lift, dress nice, etc...). From that foundation, I'd turn the tables and do things to let the girls know I was interested (little flirting, let her catch me looking, etc...) and let her chase me.

The beauty of this approach is that it's unexpected, women are used to being chased so not doing so (when they know your interested) really catches their attention. It automatically gives you an air of being superior and instills at least an illusion of confidence/abundance mentality (aka: I'm not chasing you because I don't need too).

Bonus, it's a metric tonne of fun to watch them blush and stammer later when you point out they chased you. It flies directly in the face of the role/image females are supposed to have and exposes the truth that they're sexual beings that chase just as much as men.

[-] max_peenor 7 Points 2 years ago

directly in the face of the role/image females are supposed to have

The only difference between men and women is that while men will throw a wide net and act dopey for a lot of different women, most women would turn the two keys and end half the lives on this planet if they could have that one guy.

Of course, we know from TRP that guy never existed and she'll find that out a year into fucking him after he gasses her eyes watery in the middle of the night while sleeping.

[-] 1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 23 Points 2 years ago

I am m/47 and would tell my 18 year old self:

  1. Start your own business while you are young.
  2. Move out of your parents house as soon as you can and live on your own.
  3. Do not move in with the girlfriend because its cheaper
  4. Finish your education. If you don't like your major, then just change it.
  5. Don't give up your friends, family or hobbies for any girl
  6. Always have an exit plan
  7. Be Bold. Take Risks.
  8. Don't make decisions out of fear, make decisions on the possible positive outcomes.
  9. Always have condoms. Always
  10. Don't be a nice guy, nice guys finish last. You know this, so cut it out.
  11. Cut out the toxic people from your life, even family.
  12. Be true to yourself and your wishes. first.
[-] YoungManHHF 4 Points 2 years ago

what if I'm 21 and I already fucked up on a rule #4?

[-] 1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 1 Point 2 years ago

Better to do it now... because in 20 years you may find yourself getting passed up for promotions or advancement... just because you don't have it!

It doesn't matter what the degree is in... in 20 years no one will care... but they will if you don't have one.

So research the cheapest and easiest degree you can get and just do it!

Your future self will thank you now...

[-] MasterB8A 5 Points 2 years ago

There's always a way to get back into education, you just got to be motivated and don't make the same mistakes you made previously. Age doesn't change anything

[-] CollectivePsychosis 4 Points 2 years ago

Shit bro, I got back into my education when I was 23. They had an open house at the university that I was rejected from the previous year. At the end of the tour the opportunity to register with the university was presented. They just had a clerk that reviewed all your docs. I talked my way into that school by explaining that although I was rejected last year, I had made changes and they accepted me there on the spot.

[-] PreOrgasmGroanLness -1 Point 2 years ago

you don't really want a woman for sex, you are not an animal, you are a higher being

BS. Humans are not some above-animals higher beings.

[-] rubenescaray 1 Point 2 years ago

Agree, we are smarter and we have methods to build amazing things but we still have animalistic urges and sex is one of them, for me, women add nothing more to my life than sex

[-] 1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 2 Points 2 years ago

After 2 marriages, 2 kids, 2 grand-kids... I have the same feelings about women. At this stage in my life, they are for one thing only. SEX.

OP (26) will probably feel the same, just give him another 20 years or so... LOL

[-] rubenescaray 1 Point 2 years ago

I'm 21 and I feel this way

[-] Skizzy4325 8 Points 2 years ago

Okay, well have fun being an animal then.

[-] PreOrgasmGroanLness 1 Point 2 years ago

You are an animal. Yes, we have evolved as animals to be able to think and form ideas. Yet, we are still animals. All this nonsense about higher beings, souls and whatnot is an excuse for ego to think higher of itself. Higher being, higher ego. Better than an animal. Yet acting like an animal all the time. Even more, often those lesser beings animals behaving better than that human that thinks so highly of himself.

Will stand my ground on this.

[-] ecocrat 21 Points 2 years ago

21 here, gunna bookmark this post. Thanks

[-] SmellsLikeNostrils 2 Points 2 years ago
  1. Bookmarked as well. Good advice I still can improve on.

Especially the addictions part. You can be deliberate a out what you let consume your attention until you figure out how to control your attention. I don't agree that you can't fix an addictive personality, but it's hard, deep work. It's easier to control what you have attention on and controlling your environment is the best way.

As they say, it's much easier to act your way into good thinking than to think your way into good action. Fully true.

[-] jbird669 4 Points 2 years ago

"Also, you don't really want a woman just for sex"

Yes, I do. What else is the point?

[-] Skizzy4325 6 Points 2 years ago

I'm talking about a relationship. If you want a woman just for sex... its not a real relationship. Its either hookers or friends with benefits in that case.

[-] jbird669 -3 Point 2 years ago

Redpillers shouldn't want relationships. That implies a compromise on your time.

[-] [deleted] 2 years ago
[-] [deleted] 2 Points 2 years ago

You helped me tremendously by pointing out that we are not animals we are higher beings so we should not just use women to fill a sexual void.

[-] F0rever_Fascinated 1 Point 2 years ago

25 and life full of personal trauma as a result of health issues (I'm older than my age would indicate). Take care of your mind guys. Seriously. It's worth getting to an intermediate knowledge of psychiatry (not psychology) in my opinion. I do serious damage now, although I wish I didn't have to have the bad to get the good.

My number one advice for everyone is to question the world outside of TRP - you have a framework that works better than what is considered standard practice in society. There is a lot of stuff in the world like TRP, just in different fields. Reading is tantamount, as is finding smart friends who are equally ambitious/curious.

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 2 years ago

[deleted]

[-] Skizzy4325 3 Points 2 years ago

Wait, what? Did I say my life is over? Where'd you get that? I'm not complaining about my age, it's just the advice I would give to myself (or anybody) at 18 years old.

[-] JlmmyButler 2 Points 2 years ago

ive seen you post before, you're a real one

[-] yes_we_can_t 9 Points 2 years ago

Be a man - Always stand up for yourself and your beliefs, do not be afraid or intimidated by anyone. This applies both in physical confrontations and arguments.

Agree with everything, except this. In our society, there's almost never a good reason for violence, even if you have a weapon or know how to fight. Even if you win the fight, the resulting legal issues can ruin your life, for no good reason. Sure, be ready to fight, but avoid it.

It's usually better to be a smooth motherfucker anyway. Read 48 laws of power. And this: http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/HighriskbehaviorRome.htm

[-] Skizzy4325 2 Points 2 years ago

My point is to stand up for yourself in a physical confrontation, not to be the aggressor.

[-] yes_we_can_t 4 Points 2 years ago

I understand, but my point is that it's often a terrible idea "to stand up for yourself in a physical confrontation".

One of my best friends used to go out to find fights for fun. A real fighter type. He was attacked in a bar by someone who didn't like him talking to some girls or whatever, and I can promise you he stood up for himself. Smashed a glass of beer in his face. After paying tons in legal costs he got away with a self-defence charge, but it could have gone either way.

I was in a real street-fight when I was about 19. I was sure I'd win against some little fucker. Of course, I didn't see his friend circle behind me, got sucker punched and went out cold. Woke up to finding my head being smashed repeatedly into the pavement until someone got him to stop.

You don't control all the variables in the moment. Be smarter than that.

[-] Skizzy4325 3 Points 2 years ago

Ofcourse you should avoid it if possible, my point is to stand up for yourself it is unavoidable. Also, in many cases standing up for yourself diffuses the situation instead of escalating it.

[-] [deleted] 3 Points 2 years ago

Plus, smashing a bottle into someone's face or fighting with a group of other people when you're on your own aren't the only ways to stand your ground.

I agree OP, there comes a point where words aren't enough.

I always think about a time when I might be with a woman wearing heels - she can't run away and I'm sure as shit not going to leave her - so if the aggressor can't be reasoned with you must fight.

[-] yes_we_can_t 3 Points 2 years ago

I agree with both of you, but the original advice was always stand up for yourself, don't be afraid or intimidated. That sounds good and real tough and alpha and shit, but it's actually fucking stupid if you think about it in a bit more depth.

The new advice is better: "stand up for yourself if it is unavoidable, or if it might defuse the situation". Being aware of your surroundings and being ready and able to fight does defuse a lot of situations.

Fighting is sometimes exactly the right thing to do.

But face it, sometimes there might be not anything you can do, even if your lady is in heels. Simplifying, let's say you can choose to stay with your woman in heels and get beaten up anyway, or run and call the police. They could be there in minutes.

[-] hahayeahthatscool 2 Points 2 years ago

Running away with your dick between your legs from every confrontation is exactly what defines a bitch, sissy, beta, cunt etc... And by doing this you do not avoid trouble, but welcome it. All you are doing is painting a giant target on your back with the words "fuck with me. I won't do anything about it xD"

Just because u were traumatized when u were 19 because you didn't have control over the situation does not mean you should be out giving advice to younger men basically telling them to learn how to enjoy being walked over. Learn how to defend yourself, or is your self esteem really that weak that you don't believe in your right to live?

[-] yes_we_can_t 3 Points 2 years ago

Lol internet tough guy. Go back to your video games, don't forget your fedora and katana.

[-] [deleted] 2 years ago
[-] hahayeahthatscool 3 Points 2 years ago

Lol I just realized how bitchy my original post was. There's nothing wrong in advising caution, you're right.

[-] hahayeahthatscool 2 Points 2 years ago

Lol I destroyed your entire line of logic and your only response is girly insults. Looks like you really are missing some brain matter from getting your ass stomped out lmao

[-] wanderer779 6 Points 2 years ago

Standing up for yourself is for work and relationships. If you meet a thug in the alley your goal is to keep your body intact, not your pride. Sometimes that could mean fighting but usually it's better to find a way not to even if it means running away.

[-] [deleted] 26 Points 2 years ago

Always set goals and deadlines

As an 18 year old, I feel like I've begun to wander through the desert and I have no idea where the fuck the sands will take me. I've got to do something but don't know what to do. It's the paradox of choice.

[-] ElectricFagSwatter 3 Points 2 years ago

18 here too, the summer is boring besides my friends party last night. It was fun and I had no problem making everyone laugh throughout the night. I was dressed nice too and felt good. I just need to realize I'm not fucking this one girl I've always wanted to. She's not even good looking, just has such a nice body and the biggest ass you'd ever imagine. We've always been comfortable with each other, every so often those good snaps she'll send. She just never found me attractive enough and I only picked up TRP two years after she liked me but I screwed things up because I was "inexperienced"and she didn't go for inexperienced guys which is BS because she took two of my friends v cards. Yeah I need to get over her.. But when I tell you the biggest ass you've never seen not even on the internet, I mean it. So it's really hard to just forget about her because there are a billion other girls I have the chance of also getting along with but none have had the body so far... I need some advice

[-] 1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 5 Points 2 years ago

I need some advice

Here is my 2 cents. Will she still hang out with you? If so, you take her out, and flirt and escalate on her. Treat her like you want to fuck her, right from the start. Look at her like you want to fuck her.

Her reactions to your actions will determine the path forward.

If she continues to hang with you, smiles at your flirting, and does not pull away from some innocent touches...then you are good to fuck her.

Else, you drop her off, and go meet some new girls, in which you will flirt with and escalate with, from the start.

Since you seem so obsessed with this big booty chick, then lead: make the decision, give it one more try. Be manly, confident, bold, and assertive and strong. You are the man. Your dick is the prize. Now go and get her.

[-] ElectricFagSwatter 1 Point 2 years ago

I've known her for almost four years now, we've gotten super close but she's never found me attractive. Any time I'd do something flirty she wouldn't respond because I guess she just sees me as a friend or even a brother. She tells me everything basically and I know way too much about her. Currently, she's talking to some weird looking boy who's a lot older than her and still works at a fast food restaurant. He's a loser essentially and from the way he texts, he rarely talks to women. Oh did I mention that he lives on the other side of the US? Yeah she's dropping everything she has here to move out west to live with her friend and date this random boy.

If I ever have a chance it would be when she's not talking with him because she's fully invested. She'll leave me on read all the time but she doesn't do anything besides sit home, (she had no job or chores) and Snapchat that weirdo she's talking with every minute of the day. She's so invested in him she's forgetting about everyone else and it annoys me and makes me jealous that some weird fuck she never had met is better than me in her eyes. To be fair her taste in men is disgusting, she never dates normal people judging from her ex's. I guess I need to drop her, like you said. It sucks because I'm so used to her presence, but it's my fault for not having a ton of friend to make her less relevant. I assume all I can do is just not talk to her until she does and once she moves out that's that. Maybe if she visits she'd see me years later and we get drinks and possibly something comes from it. But until then dropping her is the only option.

I should add that when her and that guy first started talking, her and I both got together with another one of her friends and drank at her place. Afterwards, I laid up right next to her on the couch put my arm around her, she put hers around me and we basically cuddled each other and I slowly worked my hand up her leg until I was all the way there. Now I wasn't doing anything really but I just kept my hand there and she didn't mind it, she was basically being her normal self and she didn't say anything about it then or afterwards.

I want to say this about myself, I'm kinda short, 5'6, skinny and don't lift on a regular schedule, I'll do it maybe once or twice a week. I have no car and I quit my old job. I'm going to apply this week and it should go well since whenever I'm nearby I talk with the workers and even impress them about what I know. After the job my family will most likely get me a car as long as nothing changes.

[-] SoulRedemption 2 Points 2 years ago

A lot of others are giving you advise on escalating and dropping off.

My perspective: You are an orbiter. Each post of yours on this and the way you talk about her shows you are way too emotionally invested in her. You are sexually attracted to her in an unhealthy way. I've been down that road.

The reason for you to be where you are and feeling what you are feeling boils down to this: She is so comfortable with you to a certain degree sexually too that you think you stand a chance of fucking her cuz you love her booty. Kicker? She knows this. She's not gonna give what you want but will bait you enough to keep you around.

The fact that you mention you don't have much other friends is another big flag for an orbiter. Quit investing so much time on her. Wanna try something? Be scarse. Dun do her biddings, don't give so much of your attention and time. Reduce is by large so she notices. Start talking to her about other chicks that are hot. Don't tell her how much you like her booty n shit. Tell her how much you like another chicks booty which you both know. Show her that you are attracted to others and you are sexually active. Then escalate. If things don't work out. DROP her OFF.

Edit:spellings

[-] ElectricFagSwatter 1 Point 2 years ago

I don't tell her she has a booty, I rarely mention it. I've told her she has no ass and no tits and she just goes along with it. My friend and I usually joke about her sister being hotter and she gets kinda mad. Also, I usually do talk about other girls in front of her, mostly any other girl I happen to be talking about at the time. A couple years back I was talking to this girl who I was trying to get rid of because was nasty and she offered the idea that we should kiss and sent her a picture so she'd get jealous. And we did sort of make out briefly for the picture. Fast forward to a week ago, I was at a party with a couple friends and other people I've been acquainted with from high school and I'm having a ton of fun kind talking and screwing around with everyone, and making everyone laugh occasionally. I was basically the most excited one there and was having a blast. She was there with two friends and I was kind of flirting with her friend for a while, also just having fun. Later on I'm talking with her about this girl I used to talk to and recently stopped and I bring up the idea let's screw with her and how can we make her jealous. She says oh we could kiss to make her jealous but I'd only do it for her, no one else.

Anyways, so you think I'm an orbiter and I guess it makes sense. I'd like to change it and I'd love to get out more and meet new people. But how? I could hit up the people I was getting along with at that party but they're not exactly liked by many from my school. I personally thought they were okay though. It beats talking to no one. I'm applying for a job hopefully tomorrow depending on if someone in my family can drive me there since I'm not allowed to take my father's car. What simple advice can you give me to start fixing what's wrong with me since I still don't even know what is. If I'm 18 and still have my v card I'm doing something wrong and it really makes me feel so shitty about myself knowing even the weirdest kids in high school all lost theirs. I'm really beating myself up over it like usual

[-] SoulRedemption 1 Point 2 years ago

First off you dun need to feel bad about the V card but you must be doing something wrong when it comes to closing (maybe this chick plays an emotional part in his that you can't close on other chicks cuz of a feeling of 'guilt' ). First things first, find a set of male friends who you can be close with. At least one friend who can be very close so you can replace this chick. As for the escalations and what to do with this chick, you can refer to many other posts here. Drop me a message if you wanna talk about this situation.

[-] ElectricFagSwatter 1 Point 2 years ago

Sure ill shoot you a PM. Thank you

[-] 1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 1 Point 2 years ago

but she's never found me attractive

Its not about your looks. Never was. Its about your attitude and confidence. You confidence is low and your attitude is defeatist.

Currently, she's talking to some weird looking boy

Point proven.

Any time I'd do something flirty she wouldn't respond

Then you are not doing it right. When you flirt, you get a response, either a positive one or a negative one. Go to youtube and search for "how to flirt with a girl". There are 1.7 MILLION fucking replies. Watch the best ones and learn some tricks.

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[-] ElectricFagSwatter 1 Point 2 years ago

I don't see how she's into me. If she was she isn't any more. She was probably just letting it happen because she's too much of a pussy to stop it. Whatever the reason, isn't it pointless right now because of how much she's into this weird guy she's talking to? And I have to know, what makes you say she's pushing my buttons to fuck her? I honestly can't see it

Also if you're cool with discord or somewhere else we could chat I'm down.

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[-] ElectricFagSwatter 1 Point 2 years ago

Fuckk that reminds me. At one point maybe a month or two ago she texted me "come over" and I came and we were drinking. It ended up with her not taking any moves I'd make at all. I spilled beer on my pants and had to take them off so they can dry and she was like it'd be weird if you got a boner. Kind of unexpected. But at one point I tried to get close to her but it didn't really work. She doesn't ever take anything I try well so it gives me such mixed ideas it hurts my head ughh.

I know I'm gonna sound like I'm giving a million excuses but I don't know what we'd do especially at my house with my entire family there. It'd be boring almost, all she does now is Snapchat that guy nonstop and it's annoying because it's literally all she does. I don't have a car so I can't just take her out to dinner either.

If you don't mind I'm down to talk on discord or anywhere else we can message more instantly and privately

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[-] ZenGoodness 29 Points 2 years ago

You should read "The Defining Decade - Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now"

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[-] Hltchens 4 Points 2 years ago

I mean you're 26. You can still do all that shit.

[-] whyalwaysm3 2 Points 2 years ago

What about 30? Too late lol?!

[-] [deleted] 0 Points 2 years ago

I usually just save appealing post on this subreddit but I actually read and probably needed to see this one

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