While I was learning the ropes of picking up women, pre-redpill, I would often read and hear stories like what is posted on this sub in awe, wondering how it’s even possible that some of these events come to be. Stories from the likes of Tucker Max seemed unachievable to me. I never really understood what I was doing wrong. I was working out, in a desirable field, in the prime of my undergrad at an ideal state school (read opportunities around every corner) yet not pulling the types of girls and life experiences that could have been. I was smart enough to recognize that it had to be my conversation game that was holding me back.

This was a good breakthrough in my development. I had overcome the anxiety that comes with opening and maintaining a conversation but never seemed to get beyond that. Eventually a few conversations with a buddy of mine about his escapades led me to understand that there’s a bigger picture to these conversations that can result in you being a total beta in her eyes, or the guy she blows in the bathroom within 10 minutes of meeting. This is the idea of conversation steering.

As the man in this game we have the advantage of being the leader if you choose to bear that responsibility. Women want to follow you in conversation, they want you to manufacture interesting topics, ask them questions that make them think in new ways, and show them new perspectives. Some feminist types might label this as mansplaining, which is why they are opposed to it. It puts them in a traditional role of listening and thinking in a way you dictate, as opposed to the feminist rhetoric of being entirely independent mentally and physically. It’s a very subtle way of communicating leadership to her without action, boasting, or peacocking. By taking the talking points, and structuring them around your interests, allowing her to talk around your narrative you are keeping her in your frame indirectly.

In the example of a first interaction, the hardest part is getting her to that initial point. Asking a handful of open ended questions until she hits on a subject you are more familiar with is a good way to start, and has the added effect of allowing you to learn about her more and letting her talk about herself which lets her feel more comfortable. When you can latch on that common point and pull her in you have to be on your toes during the conversation and keep moving. So many guys are just content to be talking and have one or two common interests they allow the talk to flatline, never escalating or taking a strange turn, and this is where I found myself failing time and time again. You need to do something different or ask her a difficult question that’s interesting but not too aggressive for the situation. I enjoy driving the conversation into weird and strange on a few occasions to keep it light, but also because that’s my personality where i thrive.

You’ll often see girls body language change drastically once you get them in your lane that is a bulletproof indicator. In my situation, this approach works well in a conversation over drinks. If you pace yourself, and are at a good place for some time, alcohol can make both of you more relaxed and confident in what’s going on. Once the conversation is flowing around your narrative you can begin to push the envelope on subjects that are inherently sexual or risque. This is putting the idea of sex in her head, with you at the root of the idea. Joey Diaz does this well, in watching this podcast of his, he comes to a point in the story that he has to summarize with, “and we’re talking and she brings up how she hasn’t blown a guy in so long…”. You think that conversation landed there because of a roulette wheel spin? He leaves out the details of how it got there, because it’s typically a longer drawn out process that isn’t at it’s core interesting, but results in the rest of the story that are worth him telling on the podcast.

There’s a lot of ways to steer conversation, and as all other things, is dependent on who’s involved, where, and why, but the fundamentals are there, and require practice in countless situations to become proficient in. We will be putting up a podcast on this subject tomorrow on the trp.red site, and our YouTube channel tomorrow.