Recovering from a traumatic sports injury & having a hard fucking time finding my footing again. Happened when I was at college away from my family, year before graduating and landing a very solid corporate job. It was so traumatic, physically, that from that time until very recently (a span of about 3 years), my friends and family and strangers probably thought I had turned crazy.

Since then, the "actions" that I knew I had to take became less straightforward simply because there was always that injury I had to work around. If I think about the struggle too much I really feel like either curling up in a ball and sleeping for 3 days straight or smashing a fucking wall. Crazy thing is, my first 3 years of college, made a HUGE transformation through massive action. Went from chubby high school nerd who went directly home and played World of Warcraft after classes, to lifting weights + basketballing 3-5 days/week outside of classes/study, building up social influence and a very large network, and being offered multiple internships + offers for jobs straight after graduating. So I did what had to be done to get myself further and beyond, and then I hit another major obstacle in that injury.

It was like that scene from Inception, where Leonardo DiCaprio and that Juno girl were in the car and out of NOWHERE that train came and smashed the car into pieces. Injury happened outta nowhere. Nothing I can do, though, except go ahead. What I've chosen to believe is that I'm stronger for continuing on through the difficulties. I'm more mature mentally and emotionally because of it but I know I still have a lot of work ahead of me.

Cursed denial.

Even when I succeed, no one would accept that I changed. Thus, whatever I do is completely useless.

Avoidant personality disorder.

I'm too far behind for my age, so I just say fuck it and instead give my observations on other people, hopefully helping them out where I've fucked up.

I have the phobia of experiencing happiness. Usually if I am happy which is fleeting, I will feel a sudden shift in my emotions and mood to severe depression, worry, paranoia, and extreme boredom.

In a sense I live a masochistic lifestyle that leads to failure or negative outcomes as misery and discontent feel like less painful states than what I experience immediately after happiness.

I seem to have a cognitive distortion of never celebrating my minor accomplishments or feeling happy about them. I always feel that if I achieved something, it is never good enough and there are many examples of people doing to better.

Podcast coming up on this subject tomorrow. check out trp.red for updates!

Fear of failure is why most. Men self sabotage

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Approach anxiety.

I have a tough time approaching strangers. I can approach people if I need directions. I can approach customer service representatives if I have a question. Hell, I saw this guy with a cool laptop case and asked him about it. Had a decent convo with him.

But, I'm too scared with approaching women for the purpose of gaming. I can't bring myself to call a girl cute to her face and ask for her number. Flirting feels very unnatural.

I like to blame how I was raised for this one. Being a black guy with shy immigrant parents, from a country where the people are generally shy and quiet, living in Canada where being polite is right, there was a lot of pressure for me to lay low. I went through school too scared to raise my hand. Too scared to speak up in class, and shitting my pants during presentations. My parents put me through all-white schools, which caused me a lot of anxiety, to the point I probably do have some sort of anxiety disorder. I could only relate with the other immigrant students.

I'm glad I discovered TRP though. I was able to put steps into changing who I was into who I wanted to be. Without medication, I tried dealing with my anxiety. I began speaking more, raising my head, smiling, meditating, and most importantly consistently exercising. I put conscious efforts to stop that voice in my head concocting unrealistic outcomes of different actions. I cut out the toxic friends which caused me to doubt myself. Stopped smoking weed too. Weed with friends made me insanely self-conscious, to the point I became noticeably quieter.

So even though today I'm much better with social situations, and much less anxious, I still have enough approach anxiety to stop myself from meeting women.

For me, it's probably all the weed I smoke. At this point even going a day without my fix makes me feel absolutely depressed and miserable and angry and bored. And then I smoke so I just eat/sleep/listen to music till I get high next. Not like I was really productive before but still... i should be fucking studying and working out but the hole I've dug myself into by fucking around for so long seems too deep to even make it out now :/

Autism + bottom-of-the-gym-class genes. I've yet to see the sperg Lord whose gone from 3/10 to 8/10. Self-improvement is coping, just focusing on my finances.

Expecting failure.

And when I do take action, it fails 99% of the time.

So it's a big dose of why bother.

my bad habits. food,porn, internet, addiction developed from childhood insecurity. i'm only 17. it's the hardest and most fucking depressing thing i've ever tried to cope and deal with. really trying to take control. nonetheless, i have improved, its just that my consistency is shit. I ate like 100grams of nutella today. fuckin hell.

Procrastination is my biggest enemy. Following up is being consistent.

I've just had major surgery so lifting is out for me for about a month. I am however reading and doing non strenuous activities. As far as excuses go, its a fairly good one!

If you're doing what needs to be done, you're in the top 10% for that day.

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Weak men will always find an excuse to not do what they're supposed to do. Unless you have a debilitating illness, you should be working on your physique, game, and career every single day. The truth is that difficult behaviors like eating healthy, working out, and focusing on your goals take away from the pleasurable dopamine-releasing behaviors like drinking, eating junk food, or sitting around like a fatass-- in other words, things that modern society says are OK for billy the beta to do most days of the week.

Just remember fellas, you're either the guy who's fucking Beta Billy's future wife, or you're the fatboy putting a ring on her.

This is the most common reason: https://www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/index/the-comfortable-life-of-the-undersexed-male

I'll keep it 100 dude, im tall and I lift but I'm ugly ????

This is the most common reason: https://www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/index/the-comfortable-life-of-the-undersexed-male

I live with my narcissistic single mother. I have no car and little money. While I'm attractive to most females, I just don't put a lot of energy trying to fuck girls when I have no money no car and living with an annoying parent.

It's like an insecurity that I have and then I'll run into performance anxiety when I'm ready to fuck the bitch. For now, all I can focus on getting more money, getting a car, and moving out.

Living with my grandparents. Plus still in college and no end in sight.

I do everything trp suggests (and not just becoz trp suggests it) except for chasing women.

Human Inertia - "I know what to do but, alas, I don't do what I know"

I really like the way you've framed self-improvement as not only a huuuuuge time commitment but rather little efficiency exercises here and there...the fundamental part of meaningful change is building better habits.

Good post on it's own - great post for first attempt. Good luck with your future pursuits.

Chemical imbalances in my brain leading to extreme sensitivities have set me back drastically, but I still go out of my way to socialize and be the best man in the room. It takes much more work for me to do what a normal person does, but I'll be damned if that's gonna stop me from living my life at 110%. If I take two days a week to relax it can offset the days where I'm out and about

And it works out pretty well, during my down times I set some space between myself and a plate. They're thinking I'm out banging other chicks when I'm actually home preparing some coffee, catching up on school work, fixing guitars/amplifiers and supplementing the right vitamins and minerals to recover

Well right now the nuke coordinator isn't getting my shit processed for acceptance into the navy. Dragging his ass.