This is definitely not for validation or approval. I wanted to share something about the event all week because it really struck a nerve and I needed a sort of catharsis with a community that understands (I shared with a few friends but you can't expect people not in the community to understand beyond "wow she does seem crazy"). My hope is to get out a bit of the tension that resulted and hopefully encourage people that do not have this experience yet to prepare themselves. I waited a while to make sure my intentions were clear before doing so, and tonight I felt confident with those intentions and decided to get it out in writing

*TL;DR: ONS from several weeks ago showed up uninvited "in the neighborhood". Tried to inject herself into my plans or get me to join hers. She didn't take a hint. Gave her "the talk" (not interested in you) and she flipped. Told her she needed to keep her voice down (she escalated and I live in a duplex that doesn't insulate noise too well) and she REALLY ESCALATED. Didn't waste a breath and told her she needed to go. She refused. Challenged me to do something about it. After repeating my demand calmly and her actively defying and trying to gaslight I threatened the police -- she challenged me to call them. I called them. Spent 15-20 minutes on the phone with dispatch (which was mildly a joke because i had to admit I was feeling "threatened" despite not really being afraid of this btch but feeling troubled by what might happen). Had to cleverly get her to follow me outside and then managed to slip by and lock her out while still on the phone with dispatch. She pitches fit, I shut the lights out on her. 5 minutes later she leaves voluntarily. Police show up 20 minutes later after I told dispatch she was gone. They questioned me and said they'd look out for her. Told me not to let her in if she showed up again. I was highly adrenalized for the rest of the night and it regressed me back into "the anger phase" of the red pill because I was pissed I couldn't just physically toss her ass out of my home.**

Long Version.

Last friday 1/27/17. It was around 830-9pm and I was preparing to go out and meet a couple buds that I haven't seen in a while (spending much less time with my friends due to different financial goals). I receive a text from a girl that I approached at a bar nearly a month ago and had an ONS with. She set off several subtle emotional-instability red flags for me and I decided it wasn't worth a repeat visit, so I ghosted her realizing any explanation would be too much effort. On that night she sends a picture of a glass of wine and some painting thing she was doing with friends in the area (some kind of paint bar nearby). Asks me what I'm doing and I tell her I have plans to go out with some friends. She says she's doing the same thing and asks if I want to hang out.

Hindsight being 20:20, my (small) head and gut had their first clash and I'm disappointed I ignored my gut instinct (I'm almost always punished for ignoring my gut instincts) by opening a crack in the possibility of meeting later (after deciding that I should definitely not see this girl again), "that sounds nice but I'm hanging with friends I haven't seen in a while, I'm feeling kind of lazy though. Maybe I'll call it an early night". I put my phone down and start getting ready to head out. When I return to my phone there are three texts from her:

"Hey I'm here. Sorry that was fast" "I was in the area, thought I'd stop by" "Don't make me feel weird"

I get a bad feeling in my stomach, more than a little annoyed, take a deep breath and decide, well fuck it, guess I have to deal with this now (wish I pretended I wasn't home in retrospect). I text her, "I have to unlock my door, hold on". Walk down and she's there behind the fucking front door just waiting. I unlock it and just shake my head (like, "oh you"...) at her and sigh as she says something like "shut up, don't make me feel awkward" as she walks by and up the stairs to my second floor apartment. I say in a mildly unamused tone, "yeah ok just get in there then" and shove her on the ass from behind. She says something like, "stooopp" in that don't tease me kind of way

I keep a fairly tidy place but there's usually stuff I tend to give a once over when I'm having girls over like the bathroom and such, so I tell her I'm going to the bathroom, take a piss and make sure there's no man-pubes or shit streaks on the toilet bowl (why would I care when she came over uninvited, oh well). When I come out she's laying on my bed next to my dog on her phone. I join her, "So what's up?"

She goes on a flurry of spastic tangents about her day with her kids at school, her date with her friends (who have boyfriends), and some other shit and cozies up to me. She's fairly fit HB6.5-7 (could be better but she's hitting wall fairly hard at 30) so my hands go where they want. I'm pretty intuitive to people's behavior and because of the spastic nature of her thoughts (which at first I thought was just her being nervous 'cus she knew she shouldn't have just showed up) I ask her point-blank, "Are you drunk?"

She halts and goes wheel-spinning in her head as she looks off, "uhhhhh....what's the right answer?" she asks.
"its okay if you are, I want to know" She half-confesses to having a few in her system.

Dialogue continues for a few more minutes and then she says, "So my friends want me to come out" (she reads a text from one) "want to come with me? I'll tell them, 'this is Dawnlander, he's kind of weird but he's ok". I give a mock "ha" and remind her I have plans with my own friends and encourage her to join her friends. "That's okay," she says without pause, "I'll just come with you" "Thaat's not what I'm trying to do..." I say, hoping she'll get the hint. "I haven't seen them in a while, so I'm trying to catch up" "I can come with you," she says, "its no big deal, I'm cool"

For some reason my brain starts to fatigue here as I realize she's not going to make this easy for me and I admit that I'm not really feeling like socializing, I'm only going out to catch up with some buds that I haven't seen in a while.

This is where those red flags I detected in the first encounter reappeared, "Why are you changing your mind so fast, what's wrong with you? You just said you wanted to hang out" she interjects with a not-so-amused tone... None of this makes rational sense to me so I take a very deep breath (breath control is everything with mental state control) and let out a sigh as I realize, fuck, I have to just tell this bitch I'm not interested in her and end this situation (I should never have let her into my castle, very regretful and angry at myself for that). She starts spewing out a few insults in that time and all I can remember is saying calmly and plainly, "If I'm that fucked up, what does that say about you?" . Surprisingly, between her rants she concedes that point with something like, "that means I'm fucked up...Actually that makes me worse"...

In the span of a couple seconds several thoughts pass through my head as my brain tries to consolidate this information into the best, most direct, least nuclear way of telling this girl I'm not interested in the same things she's interested in (from our past dialogue its obvious to me she's surrounded by friends who have babies and LTRs and she's the odd-girl out...no surprise really, f*ing shrike). I think a lot of mainstream advice in this area (telling someone you're not into them) is misguided and will encourage you to be kind and direct and blah: "its not you its me" that kind of stuff. That doesn't really work but I don't think I've ever experienced a woman take rejection in a sane way (maybe once). To be self-critical again, my nice guy instincts were getting the better of my thought process.

I was trying to avoid triggering more emotional reactions (this is bad programming on my part, you can't control other people, especially those of the Cluster B persuasion), so my analytical brain decided I needed to say something like, "I don't have the same interests as you and you should be able to focus on finding what you want"....As a tangent, my brain doesn't think verbally, I think visually, symbolically, systems-oriented, kinaesthetically, etc...I have to "translate" my thoughts into English so I usually talk very deliberately with pauses here and there to process what I'm trying to communicate.

The first words out of my mouth were, "[name], I think you're a traditional girl...." The elipses (...) indicates I wasn't even finished with my damn sentence before she explodes "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS OVERTHINK EVERYTHING?! YOU ALWAYS DO THAT, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM BLAHBLAHBLAH" -- She gets inappropriately loud here.

Now, in the span of microseconds more multiple streams of information are trying to process what is a completely incoherent response [one thought was, yeah I do overthink things sometimes, another was wait? what the fuck? I've hung out with this girl ONCE and by all outside observers I'm VERY laconic...there would be no reason for her to claim I overthink anything, the last thought in that microsecond, this bitch needs to keep her fing voice down*].

So my immediate reaction: "Shhh.." I gesture for her to keep her voice down and before I can say anything, those BLACK FUCKING PUPILS (the pupils of true BPDs and other psychopaths) just AWAKEN as she growls through gritted teeth, "Don't. Tell. Me. To. Be. Quiet"

This instantly triggered memories of "the One" LTR I had in my early to mid 20s that was just like this when she snapped; "The One" that ultimately scooped me on my ascent coming off the Appalachian Trail and full of excitement for more adventure and left me a cringeworthy, oneitis obsessed, POS. This crazy bitch was reenacting the same exact reactions in the same scenarios. She was as intentionally menacing as she could manage as she stared directly into my eyes. Again, I take that Zen-inducing deeep breath, inhale fully, exhale completely and say, calmly and quietly, "I have a neighbor below me with an infant child and this house is paper thin, so you have to keep your voice down"...

The italicized words in my sentence indicate where she interrupted me before I could finish again and she says with a more firm tone, "Don't tell me what to do"...She then goes into a stream of gaslighting and insults, "You're really a psychopath! What is wrong with you" ad infinitum... I can't remember the flurry of nonsense that came out of her mouth and it doesn't matter, it was all of the same nature. That's when good old instinct and experience kicked in and I took another deep breath, rubbed my brow and eyes to release the tension there, sat up calmly and with a completely unamused tone, "Ok, you need to leave" as I got up and walked out of my room.

I can't remember what she said, it was more gaslighting/insults/protests (see the pattern?) and I was ignoring her as I walked out into my living room, sat on the couch and started texting my friends to see where they were so I could go out and meet them. She follows me out, makes more accusations in the form of questions (another pattern that LTR did, try to hook your brain with emotionally charged, closed-ended questions, "whats wrong with you?"-stuff but in all the creative ways women are capable of). I ignored her for a few of these and then calmly repeated, "you need to go."

More of the same on her part. I'm totally ignoring her besides the couple times I repeated myself calmly for her to leave. She then tells me she won't leave and I can't make her. Thank god for the community and an understanding of basic legal rights because it was very natural and easy for me to explain, "Actually you're on private property, you were not invited over and I've asked you to go multiple times. At this point, if you don't leave I'm going to have to call the police."

She grins a psycho-grin and raises her eyebrows saying, "Do it"

"Okay" I say as I pick up my phone, put it on speaker and voice command google to call "[my city] Police Department"...fully expecting her to hear the ringing and realize I'm not joking. But nope. She's stands there with her psycho black eyes smiling. As the phone rings and the female dispatcher picks up, my mind again start to juggle multiple streams of info: why the fuck is she smiling? this bitch is psycho... Wait, is she going to try and get me in trouble? My mind races as I explain to the dispatcher a woman came over uninvited and won't leave my property after multiple requests and I would like an officer to come and help me. I'm trying to think of what she might try to do that would make her stand there after she can clearly hear me talking to the fucking police department to send an officer over. The officer asks me if I'm feeling threatened, I check into my body state and my heart is pounding, adrenaline is now being released, I could feel it. I tell her, "yes". Dispatcher asks if I can see any weapons, I say no... The adrenaline makes the minor details a blur here but I had the instinct to realize, I don't want the cops in my house and if I don't stay here, this fing psycho will not have anything to feed her narcissistic desire for conflict* (starve the fuel). So I walk outside while talking to the officer.

I walk outside to the sidewalk and keep answering the officers questions, my brain is mildly disoriented from adrenaline and all the thoughts about crazy women, the double standard of law, and the dispatchers questions about "me feeling threatened" and her instructions if I can get to a car and lock it, and not wanting to leave this psycho in my house alone with all my valuable film equipment, etc. I'm also thinking about the irony of her asking me if I feel threatened: I could only think "Yes, I feel threatened because I can't just legally grab this *** *** by the hair, drag her outside and toss her into the front yard and tell her without any mincing of words, that this is my fucking house and if you think you can threaten me with your snotty fucking stubborn attitude you're mistaken.*

But I had to just play along and take that feeling inside me and just tell the dispatcher she's psychologically threatening me, or something along those lines.

The girl comes out. I comment on that to the dispatcher, "Oh she just came out" -- The girl hears that and says, "Oh actually I'll go back in" and turns back to the door.

I make sure I comment loudly and clearly, "Oh she's going back inside" and that causes her to stop in her tracks.

She comes down towards me and I walk past her to my steps. The dispatcher asks if she's still there, asks for a description of her, her name, her car, her license plate...I'm saying all this and she's still just grinning and says, "YUP STILL HEREE" and cocks her head like a damn movie character (thinking that chick from fight club that's in all the Tim Burton movies). I get one more wave of feeling how much I don't really like to interact with law enforcement and hold the phone to my chest and with the calmest most sincere voice I can manage say, "Will you just go? Please. You don't need to get arrested if you leave now." She refuses in a very self-assured way. I ask the dispatcher, "is there something I can say to this girl to get her to leave, do you have any advice" and the woman on the phone just says, "That's why we're sending an officer" and she asks me to find shelter again -- I realize the door is behind me and I'm between the girl and the house, so I promptly turn around, go inside and smoothly shut and lock the door at the same time as psycho b*tch slams against the door and glass, wide-eyed, telling me to unlock the door and then goes back into histrionic accusations of me being "an absolute psychopath". I just shake my head at her briefly acknowledging her before turning away (in the manner of, "you're pathetic") and walk upstairs turning the light off on her, hoping she doesn't smash too loud (she does bang on the door for a bit and shouts but she's outside and public exposure gets the better of her -- these types like the privacy of the home to really let out the demon).

I go upstairs, the officer on the phone says she would like to stay on the phone with me until the officers get there. My adrenaline is jacked so I'm in a sort of bullet-time and have to really fight to not go look out the window and encourage this girl with any attention. To my sweet f*ing relief, a few minutes later I peak out and see her rounding the driveway to her car. I tell the dispatcher she's leaving. Dispatcher says officers are coming anyways to talk to me and make sure she doesn't come back. While I'm talking to her I get a text from this girl saying something like "you're a psycho" again (yeah, okay), I text her back "stop contacting this number"... then my phone starts blowing up...NON STOP CALLS FROM HER. I can't focus on the dispatcher's questions and I can't get to the "block" feature that's buried within the contacts sub-menu because every time she calls, I hang up on her and she calls again, imposing the call screen over all the other menus. SOMEHOW I manage to quickly get to her contact entry and get to the block feature and its over. I have no idea what other texts or calls await on the other side of that cyber wall and I don't want to know.

Adrenaline is going hardcore so it seemed like forever that I was waiting but they show up. I meet them outside. It appears my city has hired the BLM de-escalation team, a tall imposing black man and a short black woman of Somalian descent (by her name) arrive [this is just me joking around here, they were excellent officers but I had a suspicion that they were specially picked to de-escalate this crazy white woman after last years BLM protests in my small city (which was composed of entirely white women making some statement of solidarity with "brown people" and issuing a request for the department to acknowledge their statement). The police department here is excellent, back to the end of the story though]: I explain the story moment for moment to them. The she-cop is skeptical at first and bluntly asks "how do you know this girl" in a way that's like, "is she really randomly there or have you been fucking her regularly". I tell her bluntly it was a hook up a month ago and I had not talked to her since then and she just showed up. I explained how the situation went down and kept noticing the guy make micro expressions in solidarity with me, like, "man this girl is out of her fucking mind". Which I appreciated. They tell me they'll be in the area and will keep a look out for her and to not let her in if she shows up again.

I didn't hang out with my friends that night. I was adrenalized and just started diving back into manosphere readings (which I usually go away from for long periods of time and come back to refresh and re-affirm my frame and not feel like I'm completely insane for dealing with some of the shit out there) all night to let the adrenaline wear off.

END STORY

The next few days I had a minor sort of PTSD, feeling very violated and disempowered because I had to go to that length to get rid of her, when all I could think about was 100-1000+ years ago this behavior wouldn't be acceptable and I would be totally validated to just toss her the fuck out physically and banish her for those psychological threats and psychotic behavior. I was fucking mad (am still mad) that I had to jump through such hoops to defend my turf and claim a real hard boundary.

Thank you to anyone who felt compelled to read this. I appreciate this forum and this community immensely. Male space and male communities are absolutely essential to our health and development as human beings and this is a very unique and special place. I hope none of you have to experience this (I know many of you have). And if you do, please don't engage these psychos. They gaslight and try to lure you in by ignoring anything you say (most women do this, BPDs and the like are just very extreme). Claim the boundary HARD AND FAST, and use law enforcement wisely when necessary. ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT. Your dick will make unnecessary concessions for an easy lay.

Again, I'm not looking for any validation but your constructive feedback or comments are definitely welcome. I would love to hear from others who have dealt with this kind of stuff successfully or unsuccessfully and maybe we can create a dialogue that better informs all of us on how to handle this shit in the future. I feel a hell of a lot better being able to get this out in a long-form format.

Peace.