You're overreacting. All your failures and triumphs are part of the proces. Trust the proces.

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you can run from your problems, but you'll never escape from how you feel about them.

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Technology has made modern living comfortable, because of this society (men) have become weak.

Implement some Intentional Discomfort in your life.

You may have this idealized version of what your Rite of Passage will look like, just be aware that without money, connections, or appearing to have any physical presence you are likely to get robbed, beaten, raped, or killed.

Go into this fully prepared, you may come out a better man than I or you may die.

Before going full hobo mode in Texas, re-evaluate the end goal.

At some point in the next month you will be a bum in Austin, jerking off to the memory of porn in a public toilet.

And for the rest of your life, you'll have to live with the knowledge that that was the deciding moment when you became a man.

Or a beta fag, I guess, if you fail.

Good luck on your trip, hope you enjoy it and it helps.

But I wouldn't expect to return a man, you are setting too high of a bar for yourself and you are judging yourself too harshly. I am a dedicated red piller, but I am beginning to doubt it's positive effects on young people because i see too many guys like you bemoaning their beta status at such a young age. You are young, you have not failed at anything yet, their is time. I have written what I think you need to do below, it will not be solved in a week or in a trip. It will take years. But here it is:

• stop any addiction to drugs. You mention dopamine so I put this first, work on stopping. 4 or so drinks now and then is OK, but that's the max. I have never experienced this level of addiction so I'll let other provide more specific advice on drugs.

• work out and eat healthy every day. you don't have to be narotic about this or turn it into your religion but you should be dedicated to being healthy
• work on a career, be it an apprenticeship, trade, college or university, pursue a path that will make you financially successful. this is incredibly important
• work on socializing. Start with men. Do you have positive strong male friends? Do you have Bros? If not you should, cold approach guys, go for wings, watch NFL, whatever you need to do have friends that you trust and return it (note you can do this as you pursue your career or workout).
• learn to not be afraid of approaching women. Learn and practice pua, I have found love systems magic bullets and other docs to be a good guide for this.
• learn to combat beta thoughts about what relationships should be like. Don't be needy, don't be an orbiter, don't be a white knight. Lastly, don't get married to the first first girl who validates you, keep it low investmentm. You should always want her less hen she wanta you. Regulate yourself, regulate the relationship, this is yoir job not hers. These traps are the common mistakes most people make, you will make them, loom out for it. I find the sidebar good for this, but I ignore all the parts that talk about how bad women are. Rollo's stuff is great.

Don't be hard on yourself for being an 18yo virgin. I know it LOOKS like everyone is out being an alpha, but half of it is lies and the other half is meaningless people pretending to be alpha. It is incredibly hard and rare to be an RP alpha at your age. Trust me. I was an 24 yo virgin kinda sorta. My journey didn't begin till around 24. Now, 13 or so years later I have multiple plates at my beck and call, a dedicated ltr that makes me question why I need plates at all. A career a stable life. I am the master of my domain and if you met me at 18 you would never be able to predict that.

Take a deep breath, take care of yourself, and stop being so harsh on yourself. Follow the advice above, btw I fap all the time, it makes my plates angry when I tell them because they wanted to be there.

Applaud the courage to just make change, and even the "jump right in mentality," but if there's anyplace in Texas where the beta can not only continue to live on but may even actually thrive, it's Austin.

Wherever you go, there you are.

Drunks in recovery call it "pulling a geographic".

jesus dude. take a deep breath. take some money with you and try to find a place to stay. a hostel, anything. the streets of American cities are not friendly to homeless young men. you'll end up addicted to drugs and selling your ass to survive.

I've got some uncomfortable news for you too bud. When you land in Austin, and you look in the mirror, that same asshole will still be staring back at you. The same weakness in you will still be there until you, instead of running from yourself, CONFRONT yourself head on. Probe your emotions, probe the source of your weakness, make peace with your inner pain, and cultivate your masculinity. Keyword CULTIVATE. As in, grow carefully and patiently. All this takes time and you don't need to change cities to do it.

Normally I would applaud bold and ballsy moves but this just strikes me as reckless. You sound like you need structure and positive male role models in your life more than anything. Cancel your ticket and join the fucking army, dude. Or the red cross, or something. Put yourself in a position where other people are depending on your weak ass and you'll come to terms with yourself in a hurry.

Reading through this post, I find myself thinking a few things. I hope the best out of your journey, if not I hope you learn from it.

It takes time and effort. Not many want to put themselves through the fire in the hopes the charred remains show a hardened steel frame. You also can't go from the hot fire only once without being shocked by the cold water. The process is continual and ongoing.

Neo was asked by the Oracle if he was the one. He looked puzzled and unsure. He knew he wasn't the one as you would see at the end of the movie. He was shown the plaque translating to Know Thyself. You mention you hate the man in the mirror. Do you? Do you hate your appearance? Do you hate your mannerisms? Do you hate the internal turmoil inside?

As you go from the red hot flame to a cool hardened man you'll find the internal turmoil will solidify. You'll know your place. You'll find what matters to you and what you need to do to improve. Knowing yourself internally, knowing yourself is the best way you can break old habits and when to stop when beta tendencies come up. Beta will happen, continue to happen but knowing why and how will teach you to kill the beta completely.

Don't let the fire cool too soon. It's not a weekend getaway. Seek the lifestyle that makes you better than every previous day.

I will try not to repeat what most here have said. Not everyone jumping into the deep end without prior knowledge will be able to swim. Which means, do it when someone is around so you don't drown. Which translates to, have a back up plan and have something always ready to get you back to the place where you came from. If you are fragile you will either come out strong or get beat the fuck up. You need to be ready mentally. That being said, you have other options to get away from this beta mindset of yours without running away from the problem, which is you. But if you do go ahead with moving to Austin, log your journey so you can reflect and learn. I have has the opportunity to move and live in different countries. Every time I promise myself not to be the previous beta self in the new place/country (which is actually ideal cuz no one knows you), guess what happens? I fuck up and go back to my beta ways. Yes of course I learn new things etc, but getting out of this beta mindset has to come from yourself.

Take some money with you. You don't want to become a beggar.

One thing you need to appreciate is that our psychology is self-reinforcing. It's why depression is a such a dangerous mental health trap (real depression, not just feeling a bit gloomy) because it gives us a negative outlook, which causes a greater chance of more negative things, which we also expected and believed in. This shapes our negative view which reinforces the negative things happening and it all just gets worse and worse.

Similarly, positive thinking begets positive results which begets more positive thinking. The hard bit to do is breaking the cycle and forcing the positive outlook when things are so bad and genuinely look negative. In a way you're trying to deny reality in order to change it. This is why it will be tough. Understanding this will make that tough challenge no less difficult... but it might improve your resilience. That will be the key. How tough are you to push through? This is why we recommend exercise as a first step because regular exercise releases the various positive hormones to your brain which help to start turning your mood around. I'd strongly recommend starting there.

All that said, it's your life. You make your decisions, live deliberately and own the good and the bad, then press on. And you've got my support and best wishes with it, mate. Very best of luck on your adventure... but seriously, take some money with you and do a bit of research around camp sites and see if you can find some guides from guys who've done travelling with the bare essentials.

I commend your acknowledgement of your own state of life, and your effort to change it. But I think you are a perfect example of someone who has not swallowed the pill. Sure, you read lurked here for a bit, tested yourself for a month to see if you could. But all you did was mimic the words and actions you saw.
Its great to see anyone getting off their butt and being active and exploring the world. But you are fooling yourself. You have just made a huge leap, and a risk to your life and safety just for the sake of becoming "someone who is not a pussy, someone who is not the current me." Sorry to say, being pussy is not the problem. Being someone who is some weak sauce fuck and not overcoming that problem, fear, challenge is the problem. And if you think mindlessly putting yourself at risk like that is what makes one a man, you won't be satisfied with your results. You can't expect these big life events, or actions to change your life. You have to change yourself, through habits, meditation, education, blah blah blah.
Like I said, its great that you are doing that to try to "fix" yourself. But it shows nothing about what you learned of TRP, and everything following it

Super logical decision.

/S

Checkout a book called Change your habits change your life . https://www.amazon.com/Change-Your-Habits-Life-Millionaires/dp/1635050049

This features alot of good strategies to help you take control of your life, and keep it that way.

Just lol at this cope, you're ugly, nofap is not legit, also your standards are too high

Ayy my older brother is gonna be your pilot!

Austin is America's Canada, so, technically...