TL;DR
My personal observations and experiences from past months after I divorced, moved out and read „The Nine Laws” by Ivan Throne.
Relationships come in cycles
There was that post called „The 6 stages of breaking up”. It actually describes phases of any relationship.
Because every relationship is temporary and it will die. This is the natural order. This is the way nature meant it.
If both people decide to proceed in some kind of LTR, you will have attraction, conception, then the kid grows up then…
… then AWALT.
Marriage is a social construct
Most of my past and recent problems stemmed from the fact that I believed in sanctity of the marriage institution somehow. This is a fallacy and not because women cheat or AWALT or anything like that. This is a fallacy because it has no roots in the natural law.
Marriage is a social construct.
Women are women
They are programmed to get seed from the best male available, to have a kid or two with that best male… and then they are programmed to leave him and mate with some other best male available. Read „Practical Female Psychology” to get the grasp of „betaization” process, where woman after initial phase of loosing attraction through familiarity asks the man to open up, to be more emotional with her. To be her friend first.
And while we’re at it, please stop posting this whole „alpha got cheated on” craze. You need to understand, that Scotty Pippen’s wife cheating on him is actually expected. TRP is not a cheat-proof amor and will never be.
My problems
99% of my problems stemmed from the fact I did not understand that she wants to break up with me. The lack of attraction from her side somehow happened simultaneously to me getting into therapy for alcohol addicts and I did a lot to save the relationship blue-pill way. But it was really much, much simpler. And, if your woman disrespects you, please remember that the medium is the message. Those two posts are really crucial to anyone being in a „complicated” relationship. Guess what, man, it is not complicated. Not complicated at all. You just leave.
Apoptosis
Apoptosis is a process of programmed cell death.
If in nature a cell can die on purpose, the relationship between a man and woman can die on purpose too. What’s the purpose? Higher variability of genotype and phenotype, which improves chances of survival for the population.
Programmed death. We all experience it every day. Feeling a little down on a autumn evening? Maybe hang yourself so the tribe will survive winter more easily. Woman decided you’re not worthy? Maybe hang yourself, maybe you aren’t. Too old to move? Maybe you should die.
Relationships are meant to die in a programmed way.
”These hoes ain’t loyal” - „and that’s the way it is”
They were never meant to be loyal.
I act now like everything I hear from a woman is a lie.
I act like every woman cheats.
Don’t get me wrong - I’m not angry at them.
This approach makes things much simpler.
If everything she says is a lie, then I don’t base my decisions on what she said. Flaking is never a problem, I plan like she already flaked. So is birth control - I assume she wants my seed inside for conception and act accordingly. And, for some girls, I say it up front: if we have a kid together, I’ll want paternity test as soon as possible. And an abortion if there’s anything wrong with the foetus.
That’s insane!
Is a psychopathic person insane? Is a narcissistic person insane?
Here comes the red pill for your red pill. „The Nine Laws” by Ivan Throne, also known as The Dark Triad Man.
My approach is not insane. My current approach is extremely well rooted in the reality of the world as I know it.
And this world is a dark one.
And yes, I speak about this openly. This makes me different. But insane? No, sir. You may not like what I say, but I’m very, very far from insane today.
Discussion
The proper question is, as I always wanted to have a „nuclear family” - what are my options today, when it comes to having and raising kids.
I started to understand women somehow. Hypergamy still causes my stomach to twist and it is the way it should be since the beginning of time, because that’s the instinct that protects me from raising someone else’s offspring… but we live in times when paternity tests are available. Still, hypergamy feels disgusting. But when I detach that emotional charge, I can pretty much understand women. Think about the wall, about the need to secure a provider and collect seed from attractive males while retaining that beta… think about the manipulations needed in order to achieve that. AWALT.
The conflict of sexual strategies is very real. I have an ex wife now. „I don’t want him to cum in her” - that’s what was my final thought when I got jealous of her possible new contact. And still, while I fucked a married girl earlier this week and finished inside her, I didn’t really have to fight her or seduce her to come to my place. I didn’t have to hold her or rape her. She did all of that willingly. Her brain was actually wired in a way, that gave her a dopamine kick when she fucked extramaritally. I approached the end result of the sexual strategy thinking in me - and I realised, that there is pretty much no way to make a woman not-want another guy to cum inside her. That’s how her brain is wired.
And this is why when a relationship dies, you stop rooting through the garbage. Because, when she comes back, it is only for some resources („extraction phase”). You do not resuscitate a failed relationship because when she is done with you it means that she is done. Make it an iron rule.
I focused on controlling hypergamy too much. Both when I was living with then-wife, and when I implemented TRP by then, and then, after I moved out and I started to improve… I was still too much hooked up controlling hypergamy. This is a dead end. Improvement must be in the direction of upgrading oneself to be the most manly man possible given the circumstances - and please note that this covers a very wide range of masculine behaviour. The problem is, that one of the best crews around, when it comes to owning your shit in „extreme ownership” style seems to be still so much invested in controlling hypergamy that, again, it stops making any sense.
MRP friends, help from some of you literally saved my life and improved me, have you heard me? You have wonderful tools but somehow I feel that you’re a bit too invested. You can’t win with hypergamy and you won’t win.
I am grateful for women as they are
I wasn’t hit in my face for a long time, I wasn’t in a situation of extreme danger, there is a plenty of buffers between me and natural order, and those buffers are called „the city”, „the flat”, „the car”, „the grocery store”.
If it was not for woman, I’d probably never had so much contact with the natural order. Simply, she got bored with my beta ass and chose someone else.
A message from nature, a message from the real world. Hey dude, your wife fucks other guys, are you the shit or just shit, what do you think? I ain’t shit and that’s OK.
Did we lost?
Look, different cultures approach woman’s faithfulness differently, but still - if it worked, they wouldn’t need death penalty for infidelity. The deal is, the solutions don’t work. They only lower the chances a bit. And we all know that woman „in love” is able to do anything to get to her „alpha”. Travel 12 hrs on a train? Check. Fuck a prison inmate? Check. Be a teacher, fuck a pupil? Check. Rent him money? Check. Learn how to fly a chopper? Check.
I don’t think anyone can „win” here. I don’t think it is a fight. And if it is, it is not a fight worth fighting. We men look at this with „oh look how stupid and childish they are”. They aren’t. That’s hypergamy in action. She knows exactly what she does and why and what for.
Lessons learned
Extreme, laser-like focus on myself is crucial. Don’t make Machiavelli proud. Make him surprised!
Every relationship is an open relationship. Maybe not exactly Black Dragon’s Alpha 2.0 style but guy nailed it pretty close.
Never base your decisions on what the woman said. They lie too easily.
Hypergamy is an ugly beast and it is better left alone, trust me on this one. Don’t ask, don’t listen, don’t tell. We masculine men aren’t meant to explore it. Be aware of hypergamy, but don’t focus too much on it. Just know it is there.
As you can’t win with hypergamy, stop focusing on a particular woman. Spread the seed instead. The „alphaness” of an aloof male comes from internalizing this single fact only.
Kill your ego. You don’t mean as much as you think, world without you will get along just fine. There are people who will be better with your help, like your kids - but they will get along just fine if you are suddenly missing. So, the situation is serious and not as serious as you might think - at the same time. Throne also writes about it in his book - recognize dualities.
Thanks!
Whew. Had to get it out of my system. What do you think, gentlemen?
[deleted] 7y ago
See. Marriage is an evolutionary construct. Best environment to raise kids is a nuclear family. We have all seen what happens when a generation is raised by single mothers...
Eastuss 7y ago
Yeah that's me, raised by single mother and older sister, I am the ultimate beta.
[deleted] 7y ago
While others are full on alpha.
Eastuss 7y ago
While others try to convince themselves they're full on alpha but are still scrubs.
[deleted] 7y ago
Few do and they still admit they raised like shit. Not what I want for my kids.
[deleted] 7y ago
Few do and they still admit they raised like shit. Not what I want for my kids.
ex_addict_bro 7y ago
Wow. Did you come here for feels, for attention or rather for compassion?
Eastuss 7y ago
Nah, just relating. Seriously. I am here to imorovr, not to victimise myself.
ex_addict_bro 7y ago
"I am here to imorovr". Nice one brother.
Eastuss 7y ago
Hahaha, I can't even remember what I tried to say... improve?
ex_addict_bro 7y ago
Probably. Typo which was pretty funny to me because of the context.
Eastuss 7y ago
Haha, I don't even remember what I was trying to write....
cesarfd 7y ago
Agreed.
I'd like to say that BlackDragon's point of view about relationships and his idea of the alpha 2.0 is probably the most pragmatic, feet on the ground, realistic, red pill aware lifestyle I've ever read in the manosphere.
He is one of the few who has fully confronted the truth: long term sexual monogamy doesn't work specially for men and he has come up with the idea of how to solve it while living in western/1st world societies.
This guy deserves a long read, I fully recommend his blog and I truly think the "issue" of sexual monogamy in LTRs is one of the most important, less commented topics in the 'sphere.
TheEagleAndTheSnake 7y ago
/u/ex_addict_bro
I am one of Ivan's first subscribers, we exchanged a chain of emails on The Nine Laws (not the first ebook, the expanded edition) before it was released and you can find my name in the book as well.
Seeing TNL mentioned in here is great, I'd say most people browsing this sub would benefit from reading, understanding and utilising the potential this book has.
ex_addict_bro 7y ago
It is a red pill for the red pill, no doubt.
Most subscribers are too young and not ready. And they don't even lift. See my post history, there is another, a bit more hardcore sub that I advertised this book on.
leviathin99 7y ago
Damn this sub has some of the saddest shit in existence. Unable to control slutty women, so you embrace it and try to get back with intolerable cruelty?
Don't date whores. But I guess this entire sub revolves around whores so you would never know about attracting any good women. Then you think you have found a diamond in the rough, but she just breaks your heart anyway.
Heads up, if you chase whores, you will get whores. If you are looking to manipulate, you will warp your perspective of all women, to an unhealthy extreme.
Guess what, because one woman you thought was the one, turned out to be a skank, that doesn't mean they all are. Maybe the default is WOMEN ARE NOT WHORES, but since that's what your life revolves around, that's how you see it. Maybe you are literally missing every single girl who would be good for a LTR, and when you accidentally stumble across one and she burns you, they all turn into that. That's who you should be on the lookout for.
This place is far too cynical.
ex_addict_bro 7y ago
I'm not a cynic, I'm a realist. Have fun chasing Disney unicorns.
[deleted]
[deleted] 7y ago
Marriage, LTRs are difficult things. Humans are not naturally monogamous, very few creatures in the world are. Men (myself included) get butthurt when a woman or wife leaves us. Women get butthurt when we leave them. These days I tend to think that the blue pill conception of love and relationships is only wrong insofar as it being permanent. Most of us have been in love, most of us have had a woman who loved us. Then it ended. No relationship is forever, there are no perfect humans and our biology drives both sexes towards differences in mating practices. Women are hypergamous and guys want to fuck many harems filled with stunning young women. That is human nature. As I get older I just try my best to accept it and move on with my life. Sometimes I want to fuck every hot girl in the world, sometimes I want the love and security of a significant, loving partner.
NeoreactionSafe 7y ago
As was discussed just recently on another post...
The ideal (777) relationship is based on awareness of Natural Laws where both male and female play the role that guarantees success.
You can't "force" another to "serve" the Natural Laws... it's about free will.
The marriage contract is meaningless if the wife doesn't place Natural Laws as the centerpiece of her existence.
Feminism is the complete rejection of Natural Laws... it's pure power, pure 666.
So there is a core truth here that if you enter a marriage and both partners aren't deeply aware of their roles and how they relate to Natural Laws that the superficial nature of the marriage contract will not save you when things become difficult.
Masculine polarity for the male and feminine polarity for the female will sustain attraction indefinitely.
Things fall apart when either partner "demagnetizes".
It takes two 777's to make something last. (very rare in our 666 age)
Hypergamy is the "dark side" (666) of female nature... it is part of the Natural Laws where she chooses power over truth. Free will is a bitch.
ex_addict_bro 7y ago
I'm not sure if we understand "natural laws" the same way.
A natural law is, that if you hit your hand with a hammer, it hurts. If you hit your hand with a hammer consistently, you break some bones, destroy nerves and then you don't have the hand.
That's natural. And you can reject that law as much as you want, you must still comply. Because it is what it is - a natural law.
Feminism is a rejection of natural laws, I agree. But, a cheating wife places natural laws as the centrepiece of her existence. This is her nature.
I believe man can be 777. I doubt women can.
"she chooses power over truth" - please explain. What's the truth she can choose?
Thanks for dropping by, man.
NeoreactionSafe 7y ago
A woman can choose to recognize her nature and not fall into her worst AWALT tendencies.
The secret for females is to stay with feminine polarity.
The moment she starts "switching" and being dominant (666 female) is the moment that hypergamy presents itself.
If a women where to achieve "hypothetical perfected feminine polarity" then she would be willing to be submissive to the lowest male in existence.
This does not happen these days because of 666 Feminist empowerment that pushes her the opposite direction.
Feminism is the inversion of the known "successful pattern" of Natural Law.
Example
If you want to build an airplane you must use successful techniques to create lift or the plane will not fly... relationships are the same way.
Many want to say "flying is impossible".
Flying is possible, but you must obey "the laws" to achieve it.
ex_addict_bro 7y ago
I see.
I want to explore the most useful ways of dealing with 666 women. Plenty of them around and it doesn't looks like the situation is going to change.
NeoreactionSafe 7y ago
You are opening a can of worms.
The 666 Feminist is the plague of our age.
But you will find that some say "fuck you" to all of this... seek them.
ex_addict_bro 7y ago
Sorry mate, the can is already open, I'm just diving deeper.
Mukato 7y ago
Very well said EAB. quite an interesting read for me.
offthebeatmeoff 7y ago
Marriage is a social construct. There is literally a very good theory that pushes that. Most religions enforce that structure because granting men access to sex and future offspring ensured they'd work harder towards a better more productive society. Polygamy was actually pretty hedonistic and only really benefitted the most powerful men and almost all women.
Barren? Doesn't matter he has 13 other wives who can have kids.
Are you a widow? Don't care I like different vaginas to cram my peepee into
Ironically women were the ones who hurt by the order of marriage during a certain point in history because men did not want to marry "used goods" so widows and the divorced were fucked. That's where the term old maids comes from.
Things have shifted in our history to the point where women are the extreme beneficiaries in the marriage system, but before they were the ones with everything to lose and it was primarily the bottom 90% of men who benefitted from monogamous marriages because it guaranteed sexual access and an heir (she could cheat but the repercussions were heavier back in the day)
redpillren 7y ago
Really helpful piece mate. Thanks for taking the time
ex_addict_bro 7y ago
Standing on the shoulders of giants never been easier.
Apexk9 7y ago
Human life is a social construct
[deleted] 7y ago
Truth above. Men shit test each all the time, in a better fashion never the less. Some friends are loyal, beyond that nothing should be expected. Business relationships are for resources and social standing. Women just learn how to judge value and play social status earlier on in life.
[deleted] 7y ago
yea we are really just a bunch of cells, and those cells are a bunch of atoms, and those atoms.....