One of the more common traits among loser guys that can’t get laid is social awkwardness. Social awkwardness is one of the greatest turn-offs to women, second only to being ugly. However, while being ugly is technically a larger handicap with the ladies, a lack of social skills is an even more crippling deficit overall, due to the fact that poor social skills affect every single other aspect of your life in a much more pronounced way.
We all know one or two ugly dudes who somehow bang girls. But social retards that are getting laid are a much rarer find. Social retards are the ones that end up snapping and raping people or shooting up universities. And when a socially awkward guy gets lucky and ends up in a relationship, things nearly always go terribly.
The reason is actually pretty simple: Social retards have trouble making friends. Their body language and posture and facial expressions are weird. They talk about strange things and use unusual language to do so. Their vocal inflections are off. Sometimes, they say inappropriate things. They don’t emote when they should. Or they do emote, but not appropriately based on the interaction. When other people are talking about normal stuff in a normal way, they just kind of stand there and don’t have anything to contribute, or they over-contribute in tangential ways and try too hard. They’ve been rejected their entire lives, so they’re shy and don’t walk up and engage people at a gathering. When they do, they get clingy and follow the first person who will talk to them around all night instead of working the room properly.
They’re just off-putting. It’s unattractive behavior. People don’t like them. People don’t invite them to things. People are less inclined to hire them, promote them, patronize their business, refer clients to them, and so on.
As socially awkward losers age, they learn coping skills. I guess you could say that they grow out of their awkwardness, at least a little bit, and find their groove in life. They have a few close friends – often friends from childhood that they’ve kept over the years. They have a few less close friends – usually co-workers, neighbors, or other people they’ve met and clung to purely based on proximity. A lucky few even manage to land a girlfriend, though things usually end or turn unhappy pretty quickly.
Socially awkward men suffocate their women. They’re clingy, needy, and off-putting. At first, it’s kind of endearing how the guy is around all the time and dotes on her, but this rapidly wears thin. Because socially awkward losers don’t have many friends, they don’t have anywhere else to go or anybody else to hang out with. They’re always around. Always calling, always texting, they want to go out every single weekend. They don’t have anyone or anything else going on in their lives. From the moment this girl agreed to the first date, she’s been the central focus of his life.
This is reflected in his behavior. He’s always so polite, respectful, nice, but he does this mostly because he’s afraid of offending her, driving her off, screwing things up. He’s always paying for shit and doing nice “thoughtful” things, for the same reasons. He’s trying so hard to hide who he really is that he’s actually kind of boring. He doesn’t really escalate toward sex because he’s more interested in maintaining the relationship than fucking, which is actually a big turn-off.
Toward the twilight of the relationship, she starts to pull away, and he alternates between clinging tighter and lashing out. She’s worn out from his neediness, because unlike she initially expected when dating a man, he hasn’t been using her primarily for sex. He’s been using her for everything. Friendship, emotional support, validation, entertainment. He doesn’t have any friends, so in addition to being his girlfriend, he’s been trying to make her his best friend, his primary source of emotional support, his primary social outlet, his primary source of intellectual stimulation.
It’s too much. She just wanted to date a cute guy, have some fun, have some sex, and see where things went, and this loser is simply too emotionally needy. Due to his social awkwardness, he doesn’t have any other sources of emotional support in his life, and he’s stuck relying on one woman for all of that. And we know how reliable women are when it comes to supporting men in need.
The toxic blue pill world tells us that we’re supposed to date and eventually marry our best friend. That relationships aren’t about sex – they’re about intimacy. That we should focus on personality, common interests, intelligent things to talk about – essentially that we should spend all of this time trying to be friends with women we want to fuck.
That’s not fair to women. You can’t do that to a person. It’s not right. You can’t expect one person to be your emotional support network and your love interest at the same time. That’s a huge burden, and women don’t want to carry it when there’s a guy just as cute as you, or cuter, who’s willing to give her a no-strings-attached deep dicking, then go back to his own friends and social network instead of suffocating her.
If you don’t have friends – guy friends – then you need to get out and meet people. Make friends. Grow a social network. Get yourself some things to do, places to be, people to see, and guys you can talk to. Stop relying on women for friendship and emotional support. They’re not up to the task. Women are for fucking. They prefer it that way.
Escape the blue pill mentality of trying to be emotionally intimate with your sex partners and just fuck them. It’s okay to rely on different people for sex and emotional support. Women have been doing it for years.
Find this and other content at The Red Pill's off-Reddit site. Here's a link.
quickquestion199 7y ago
This reminds me of myself. The time I felt the best and most relaxed recently, besides passing the bar, was when I went to dinner with a bro for his birthday met four of his friends and his new girlfriend. It was easy to talk. I just realized how much sense this makes. Wow. I mean I don't know how inept I am socially but I know I definitely do a lot of the things in this article.
Thanks for posting.
zyzzguido55 7y ago
I think there's a select few girls that can be friends, but it's a pretty fucking low number. Very useful to have around and I've had a particular one who's hooked me up with chicks easily
Jonee_909 7y ago
Read all of it. This shit is so true. /u/EthanTG
sd4c 7y ago
Problem is, when you keep hold of your guy time with friends (say lifting with a gym bro, boxing class, or darts at the pub) they get jealous, bitch and whine, until eventually you skip one. Then you go half the time. Next thing you know you're curled up on Netflix together and your mates have quit calling you. It's a slow boil
sd4c 7y ago
This is such good advice. I've ruined several relationships by enjoying the sex so much spent too much time with them and became de facto "friends". The problem is, when you become emotionally dependent on them, they lose interest- fast. Very fast
Red_Brain 7y ago
Stung, because it fits me so well that I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing at the realization point.
SuperSlavisWife 7y ago
Note: If you know a guy who acts weird, talks weird, discusses strange things, displays no empathy, makes socially inappropriate comments, doesn't emote, emotes sarcastically in response to other people's cues, coins weird expressions and somehow he seems to stay socially in the loop, is engaged in conversation, dominates conversations, makes people laugh, gets invited places, has girls hanging off him and generally seems comfortable, then you know a Sigma.
Rarely can a social wreck imitate a Sigma, even though many seem to think it would be easier for them to emulate Sigma than Alpha. Sigmas genuinely don't care to the core and everyone around them knows, respects and even appreciates that. Don't fall for the trap of thinking "well, he can be weird and loved, so I can too!" If you have zero social skills, chances are, it's easier to play higher-Beta or play Alpha than to pull off Sigma attitude.
OTOH, if you are a Sigma then you already know that being weird and offensive and careless doesn't change that people love and follow you, regardless of how much you try and make them leave you alone.
Source: weird hang-ons trying to imitate Sigma husband. It's just cringeworthy in the end, even if it's funny to see someone so desperately parrot his random offensive remarks and look to him for some sort of approval.
[deleted] 7y ago
been rereading the RP Handbook and you're in there very often. Deservedly.
listen to this guy.
The amount of women doing it is already growing exponentially since hookup culture is getting promoted. I'm on the younger spectrum and I met a girl who has multiple FWB's and getting her weed/alc fix by several different guys just yesterday. Lookswise she could be Jodie Foster's daughter.
So if women rely on different guys to get a good dicking/emotional support, why the fuck wouldn't you too? As u/Archwinger pointed out, escape the blue pill mentality, use them for sex.
flynnsanity3 7y ago
Why does it have to be either emotional support or just using your SO for sex? This assumes that if you confide with your SO and are emotionally intimate with them, you don't do the same with close friends. It furthermore assumes that you have no female friends and that male friends are the only people you can confide in.
Why can you not be totally intimate with your SO, but balance your time with friends male and female? If you spend all your time around one person, whether or not you're in a romantic relationship with them, it's very likely that you'll grow sick of them or they'll grow sick of you.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
You can work on some zen like path of balance if you want. My way gets me laid right now, with minimal effort, and gets me rewarding friendships, with minimal effort. Trying to pursue some ideal middle ground to make one person both things is a lot of work for just one friend and one fuck partner.
lentax2 7y ago
You have some interesting points but I suggest you drop some of the discriminatory language - 'social retard' is not an acceptable term for someone who may be autistic, is experiencing anxiety, or suffering from another mental health problem. People do not choose to have psychological problems or learning disabilities, so please do not denigrate them on that basis.
in_monk_mode 7y ago
How to not be socially awkward?
Go out and don't be socially awkward.
Thanks for the LPT.
rrssh 7y ago
How to not be awkward cooking an omelet?
Cook an omelet 15 times.
[deleted] 7y ago
"One of the more common traits among loser guys that can’t get laid is social awkwardness. Social awkwardness is one of the greatest turn-offs to women, second only to being ugly."
Right in the feels bro :(
balajig8 7y ago
You can change from being social awkward to Cool, but not from ugly to handsome. Change what u can control and dont worry over things u gave no contorl .
FuckYouIAmDrunk 7y ago
Practice. You can do it anywhere, anytime. Get drunk/high if you need to before you go out, and just start talking to people. Say anything. Compliment someones shirt/shoes, and forget about them 10 minutes later.
Preatorion1 7y ago
Don't feel bad about it just start taking steps to change and improve your weaknesses. Use some of the examples in the article/comments to be get out more and practice improving your social awkwardness.
Tacotuesdayftw 7y ago
God damn. This article describes me pretty well. Every girl I dated I was a super clingy bitch. I freaked out when they were mad, they were always the focus of my life.
Training myself not to care so I can be happy seems like the opposite of what I should do but OPs right. It's horribly unattractive.
I hate the idea of making new friends and spending my time with new people, but I need to start planning shit and being forward. I literally couldn't finish college because I couldn't make friends. It's humiliating.
I don't think I'm unhappy, I'm just not happy, you know? Stagnant.
Needed to say that.
brasileiro555 7y ago
hobbies... i only can properly talk to people in basket court, poker tables and gym .... so, do what you like and tsay whatever you want
NaughtyFred 7y ago
Every interaction you have with other people is a chance to practice being social. At first you'll fall flat on your face and go home thinking "I could have said "x", things would've went better". So you start saying "x" and get a better response which leads to you taking a chance on saying "y".
Do this for a while and you'll have a baseline of socially calibrated "canned conversation" that you can use. At this point you'll start to glimpse the underlying mechanics of social interaction/conversation.
Beyond this paying more attention to the underlying mechanics you observe will enable you to begin using the canned conversation less and start having real "unscripted" conversations because you don't have to. You'll start to "see" what you're meant to say.
epistemic_humility 7y ago
Would you say one lacks empathy if they need to train themselves to 'see' what's right to say? Or is empathy outside of basic social skills?
Eithet way, very well put.
theciscokidisfastest 7y ago
If someone pretends they care, it means they care.
ronsoness 7y ago
empathy or at least the ability to understand how a person is feeling at a moment is a core part of social skills and gauging the social situation. strong empathy, the ability to understand a person's perspective (e.g. you're a high school counselor and need to talk to a trouble maker with a single mother from the projects while you grew up in the suburbs), is much difficult to develop though. it all relates to EQ.
NaughtyFred 7y ago
I'd say for the majority of people on this sub who need to work on it lack of experience/practice is the cause.
epistemic_humility 7y ago
I agree. But it could be perceived as both to an outsider. Another reason to start practicing.
[deleted] 7y ago
Excellent. Truly excellent analysis.
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elcarlosmiguel 7y ago
Archwinger tha god dropping some fire as usual
yes i am a groupie i learned more from archwinger than from any other person
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[deleted] 7y ago
Ever? or just on this reddit?
elcarlosmiguel 7y ago
ever, read all his posts
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[deleted] 7y ago
This is hard for someone who has never been laid, but once you do get laid, you will realize that interacting with other guys is much more rewarding than interacting with girls. You know there's no hidden agenda, there's no sexual tension, they are probably not judging your looks that much, you can plan activities and hang out together without wondering if they think you're a creep or not.
This can't be stressed enough.
If you feel socially isolated, try making friends with other guys. Stop trying to make friends with girls.
inkoDe 7y ago
Not to mention men bond easier than women. We all have that strange friend or asshole in our friend group but he is accepted just the same. How often do you see a women go out solo, and find a group of other women to hang around with for the night?
[deleted] 7y ago
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[deleted] 7y ago
Exactly this. With women, you have to be way more careful with what you say at times and you really can't have in depth conversations about things.
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Harry_Fraud 7y ago
Unless they're gay and tryna fux, then conversation is no bueno
More Importantly, I have a question:
Where does my mother fit in, given I'm in my twenties and didn't read the original post?
She's definitely not worth sexing, milf-- not, wincest--no thx, but she's a stellar mixed-doubles partner ????????????
SetConsumes 7y ago
I can get gay men talking and thinking like non gay men. However they do have a trend in the way they think.
Mothers are fine for emotional support, though if she talks to your SO that's dangerous, and a man has to be able to say no to his mother if he's going to her support from her.
TedTheAtheist 7y ago
I'm kind of an introvert, and I don't have many friends. I get laid enough because I am good looking, well spoken and very smart/intellectual (I work in IT), so I can get numbers if I go out easily enough, but otherwise I play video games and have no desire at all to hangout with the VERY few guy friends I have.
I don't require much interaction/companionship with others. I get enough just playing games with people I know online. I don't think it's unhealthy. I have a good career and sex life.
ScarletNumbers 7y ago
Yes, but the point is that you seem to be happy in your introversion. You aren't relying on a woman.
TedTheAtheist 7y ago
Yes, you're right. I never, ever rely on a woman.. or anyone else, actually. :)
winndixiedirty 7y ago
You ever get challenged by other me or other dudebros at a bar?
UniversalFapture 7y ago
Im surprised yall didn't complain about the video game thing.
TedTheAtheist 7y ago
I don't go to bars... what do you mean by challenged? Nobody ever messes with me.
winndixiedirty 7y ago
Okay seriously what do u do?
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7thAnvil 7y ago
I respectfully encourage you to rethink this. I've had times in my life where I had very few close friends. I kept myself entertained, got pussy often enough, etc. Thought I was content. Even pre-RP I started to make more of an effort to develop male friendships. Post-RP, it seemed to be a necessity (that is, if you want anyone at all to give you support or at least bounce sensitive issues off of). Yes I'm extremely independent, don't like asking for help, yada yada yada. Through effort - lots of it over time - I have more first tier and second tier friends than I ever had. And you know what? It's not even debatable. My life is so much better with a circle of bros who have my back through thick and thin. I now appreciate my male friends so much I get more excited when I meet a prospective new friend than a ONS that I can turn into a plate. And this from a man whose sex drive is off the charts. Ted, you don't know what you're missing. Find new friends if none of your current friends are enjoyable to be around. But it takes effort and time.
TedTheAtheist 7y ago
I just think it's such a waste of time for friendships in general. I'd rather be alone, reading or on my computer.
I've tried.. and always couldn't wait to be alone again. I guess I'm too introverted. :)
[deleted] 7y ago
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TedTheAtheist 7y ago
Yes sir. Good post, thanks. :)
[deleted] 7y ago
You're not along mate, I'm much the same way.
I forced myself to go out and play softball socially to try to get more social interaction and because of it, even though these are not lifetime friends I'm making, it rounds out my experience of life and there's moments when it's genuinely awesome.
TedTheAtheist 7y ago
I'd do it just to find more ladies...
wench_enabler 7y ago
You're fine dude, I'm fairly introverted myself and love me some videogame time. You don't have to sacrifice the things that actually make you happy for things you think are supposed to make you happy ;)
TedTheAtheist 7y ago
Yes! Thank you.
I mean, I get out, I get phone numbers, I get laid often.. count is in the hundreds somewhere high. I just can't wait until they're gone or I'm gone and I'm back in my happy place. :)
wench_enabler 7y ago
lol I'm not that prolific but I do well for myself. I've always been a serial monogamist so my number isn't quite as high. This last year I've been single and really tested the waters and have hooked up with like almost twenty women...
Some people just need to constantly be around others. I totally see the value in friendships with your fellow dudes and have a close-knit circle myself, but for introverts who relish being alone it's really not a big deal.
TedTheAtheist 7y ago
That's pretty good. I'm in my 40's, though, so I've had quite a lot of time. I am not sure how many women a year I process. Hah, "process". Funny. Maybe 1 a month if I'm lucky, give or take (that doesn't count all the recycles, which would bring up the count significantly - I'm talking new person only and first time with them).
I know there are spurts where it is a bit more. Pan this out over the course of my life, since my 20's (I first had sex at 13, but didn't really start the count until I hit 19/20), and the figure is probably a few hundred or maybe more. Shrug.
Yea, I definitely cannot do that. :/ At all.
I have online gaming people! :)
[deleted] 7y ago
Alot of people hate on video games. The thing is video games will only get bigger and more popular with time. There are plenty of dudes that get paid to play video games like COD, LOL etc. Many girls fan over mlg players. I know a hospital that tests it doctors by simulating a surgery via video game. There is a machine that allows sugeons to perform in a patient countries away via an android type machine with a remote controll. Video games are the future, invest in them! Play them!
wench_enabler 7y ago
It's hilarious that I got downvoted but ok getting pussy and playing videogames aren't mutually exclusive hate on
TightMouthLarry 7y ago
Video games are blue pill and your advice is terrible.
Red pillers should be developing real world skills with their time: earning money, building a business, lifting, martial arts, creating, cooking, drawing, studying, learning languages, learning to code, playing music, reading, writing, and sports.
Oh yes, and interacting with the opposite sex.
[deleted] 7y ago
They also said the wright brothers were crazy.
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Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Hey, you keep doing the same thing, being yourself and owning it, while the rest of us actually conform to social norms, and we can compare notes on who slays more pussy.
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Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
No. The proof is that being socially off instead of conforming to social norms, but trying really, really hard to be confident and own it and act like you're cool leads to ... you.
Are you happy? Are you well-fucked?
Would you advise other men to follow your path and try to be more like you?
PaperStreetVilla 7y ago
There's a prominent section on the sidebar titled 'respect the tag'
There are ways to disagree with those vetted in the community. AMOGING, concern trolling, and being a putz aren't those ways.
empatheticapathetic 7y ago
Thanks for this. This is me in a lot of ways. I have a lot of friends but late 20s and zero female experience. I thought I was being suave last year when I met my virgin oneitis and I still agonise over the moment where she said "I cant wait for you to give me your dick" and I said "cool. I'm not even bothered if we fuck when I see you next".
That was the moment she lost all her respect for me and instead wanted to humiliate me as best she could. Now I just want to spin plates once I feel I'm good enough.
[deleted] 7y ago
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empatheticapathetic 7y ago
Cheers. I'm not so sure. I'm still building my confidence up and getting better at talking to women in a non overly friendly way as well as sorting other life things out. I'll be ready within the next couple of years I'm sure.
SetConsumes 7y ago
I wouldn't wait.
Be sure to ground your confidence in achievement or something else real(skills) and not subject to change.
empatheticapathetic 7y ago
What would you say is the advantage to rushing if i don't feel ready?
Honestly my reasons are i'm trying to start my first proper career and move to a new place where are women are generally a lot receptive to me and where i'd live more independently than where i am currently. I need to ground a few important things in my life first is all i mean before i start trying to go after women.
I have a huge amount of insecurity regarding my success with women and i really need to feel secure in everything else in my life before i start to try and mess with that i've since learned after my oneitis.
SetConsumes 7y ago
You may never feel ready.
Logically can you handle it now? If you get hurt again you'll bounce back just fine.
Well, focusing on career is really important, especially to start. I would still practice talking to women daily, even if you don't make moves for more.
Lately I've been working on desensitizing myself to women's beauty. I hate how it still affects my thoughts.
I know the feeling of wanting to have security before you risk yourself elsewhere. I would secure what you know, not feel, that you need to at minimum, and then take the risks.
If you do not already use something(idol, god, concept, role model) to lean on and draw strength from, find something that resonates with you and use it to help you be strong.
empatheticapathetic 7y ago
Post redpill I believe I would bounce back compared to last year when I fell into depression, but as a semi virgin Ive made sex into this huge defining feat that I need to conquer. I think once I've had sex 5-10 times I might successfully de pedestalize it and move on.
I work in retail currently and I've never been more sociable and flirty with the women I talk to everyday than I am now, I'm happy I feel like I've made progress. The hot confident ones I still struggle with like you just mentioned.
You're right, I'm letting my feelings influence me too much opposed to cutting through the bullshit. I need to work on that. I have no belief system or role models. TRP is the closest thing I've had to guidance and wisdom in my life. What is yours?
Cheers for the advice
SetConsumes 7y ago
What makes it a defining feat? What exactly would be defined?
Awesome, lots and lots of opportunity to practice. In some ways I wish I had a more human facing job, computers are so cold and dead.
I find it helps to belittle(in your head not to them out loud necessarily) the ones that are intimidating with their beauty or confidence. They're artificially inflated in our heads, so artificially bring them down in our heads.
It is several times harder to succeed without role models or something to lean on. I don't believe in any God, but I use the ideas and stories of them for inspiration and strength. I started doing this as a kid when I was scared, and I would read lots of mythology, so it came naturally to me to use those mythological figures. Usually Greek, Egyptian, or Indian religion, like Thor and Anubis and well obviously Set too. Sometimes I would use superheroes or characters from anime, like Wolverine for example. As long as it makes you feel stronger, it will be effective.
You essentially will believe in the values the character holds, they become a representation of those values, and by focusing on them it reinforces them for you.
Most of my role models are dead, they speak to me through their writings, but I am always reading something nonfiction from great or successful people. They have so much to teach. The only living role model I have is Elon Musk.
empatheticapathetic 7y ago
I feel like i just want to have sex for the validation and not even for the physical (or emotional?) experience anymore. Just so i can look at myself and say "i've finally done it, i've had sex. If i die tomorrow at least i experienced it in what i'd consider a genuine way a few times". I'm not even sure if i'd continue to pine for it once i've reached that self defined milestone. I've gone without it and failed to achieve it so many times that i just feel indifferent now. I want to 'achieve' it rather than experience it, which i'm aware is not a healthy mindset but it is what it is at this point in time.
I'd continue my fitness journey as it's something i've come to love and value and maybe i'd have a clearer view and motivation on my career and what i want to achieve in life. I feel like pining after sex my whole life has made me ignorant to some of the more important aspects like career, fitness amongst other things.
I've always disliked hot girls attitudes due to the way they interact with me (a longtime low SMV person). So i have no trouble being cold and assertive with them, but i have trouble trying to connect with them in any sort of way.
I find a lot of wisdom in people like Eckhart Tolle, Sadhguru, Alan Watts, people like this. And i also look up to a few comedians who have influenced me in important ways (Louis CK, Conan O'Brien, Marc Maron). The way Conan dealt with his whole Tonight Show fiasco taught younger me a lot of things about value, frame, perspective, hard work and being open to any opportunity and possibility. I'm sure i'll find my way to more meaningful philosophy in time. You tend to find these things yourself opposed to seeking them out. Do you have any specific things to recommend, books or people?
SetConsumes 7y ago
What other goals do you want to achieve or experiences you want to have before you die?
Fitness is definitely good, the health benefits yeah, but building discipline and self control, and seeing what your capable of accomplishing when your mind decides to.
I would refocus, find a career that means something real to you. Let sex be a perk.
Use trivial things to connect with, weather, local events, music, etc. If she has anything interesting she's wearing or tats, ask about them as if you're genuinely curious(which often we're not lol). Once you can get her talking you can usually find open ended questions to keep her talking.
Ah they are fun, what then is your stance on free will?
I'm somewhat familiar with them, mostly Watts. These three are good at getting rid of societal indoctrination, but have they inspired you to now take from the world?
Comedians often have much wisdom, they often see what society doesn't.
Plenty of books, but truly it does depend on what path you want. If you want a life of hardship but success, I would suggest Nietzsche first. If you want a life of peace and sacrifice for society, since you have the eastern religion inspired thought already, preference utilitarianism is widely used, but you could also go the virtue route depending on if you rather use a normative morality or rather make yourself into a character of virtue.
RedPillFreedom 7y ago
Agree with this Post.
But, learn to become emotionally and self reliant. If not you'll linger around the same friends forever.
You need to be stable by yourself to truly appreciate company.
You do not know happiness till you have experienced pain.
logicalthinker1 7y ago
Not to mention, you can't really be friends with girls. We like different things, like to do different things, care about different things, and there's always that sexual tension.
Meshakhad 7y ago
Have to disagree. I count several girls as friends. Our friendships are built entirely on shared interests. I suppose it does help that none of them are relationship prospects.
logicalthinker1 7y ago
You "court" several girls?
Can you please talk like it's the current century?
EDIT: I fucked up
Meshakhad 7y ago
Count, not court. What font are you displaying in?
logicalthinker1 7y ago
Nah it was just me being a fucking idiot.
Meshakhad 7y ago
Indeed, thou wert a nincompoop! /s
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[deleted] 7y ago
Just be confident in yourself and know who you are. Don't try to impress people and seek their approval. If you talk to someone just act like you have a general curiosity and keep them talking. The more they talk, the more they invest in you, and the more they like you. Few people actually listen to people and retain the information. It isn't to difficult to talk to people and build relationships.
Chinny4daWinny 7y ago
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Thank you Archwinger. I now realize why my frat bros were giving me so much shit for being with my girl instead of going out with them drinking or something.
I also realized why my relationship ended when my best friend went on vacation for a week and I started telling my girlfriend at the time about my feelings instead of him. It all makes sense now.
[deleted] 7y ago
frat bros? Jesus H. Christ, you have a group of guys you can hang out with readily available.
So what's the problem?
[deleted] 7y ago
You also have to go through bullshit hazing, pay thousands of dollars in fees, and drink yourself into repeated stupors. Some people may not want to subject themselves to that.
[deleted] 7y ago
lol, don't have to do the drinking or hazing. Yes, it can be expensive, but so are cars.
Chinny4daWinny 7y ago
They would always give me shit for my feelings (looking back it was mainly banter) and I would always take it to heart plus they would go smoke and drink every weekend. Don't get me wrong, I like doing that, but I was trying to not do it as much so I wound up declining 90% of their invites.
But that'll change this upcoming semester.
_fappycamper 7y ago
Same thing with my frat. Only I don't have a semester coming up. Haven't in years.
tallwheel 7y ago
Being able to take shit from other guys in stride and playfully talk shit about other guys is a social skill that all guys should know. I was horrible at this too through most of my life. Would always take the shit talk seriously and get defensive. This would just make the guys want to keep dishing it out even more.
DisgruntledWolverine 7y ago
A good example here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtSJOUOEJ8o
Chinny4daWinny 7y ago
I realize that now and I'll be better prepared for it in the future.
[deleted] 7y ago
Start off slow. I have three degrees, two bachelors (Comp sci, accounting) and a Masters (Business with a stats minor).
I made Sundays my catch up day. Lay off the weed... Honestly. I teach stats, and its easy to see who was stoned over the weekend.
Join a frat if you didn't already. Its not what you know, its who. I was asked for my transcript exactly once. But I was asked what frats I was in on every interview.
IDefyAxioms 7y ago
Is it worth it if you're already in your Sophomore year?
TRP preaches frats constantly, but I'm going into a sector where that seems to matter very little. I also don't drink, smoke weed, or do other drugs, so I would most likely be out of place in parties and shit.
Boovs4life 7y ago
Any tips on how to stand out when trying to get in one? I will be going to college soon and I'd really like to join one. Thanks
[deleted] 7y ago
No, sorry. It was a long time ago for me. We used "myspace" and had 5.25" drives in our computers. Along with ZIP disks.
Chinny4daWinny 7y ago
I got it. Im already in a frat and pursuing a comp sci degree as well
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[deleted] 7y ago
Yes, I recommend going to college, even if its not stem or biz. Education is something nobody can take away from you no matter what the major.
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AkihiroDono 7y ago
Nothing. Because he can't actually do that.
PournoPete 7y ago
I want to know this info too. First so I can hide my guilt :') and Second so I can gauck at my old self.
NaughtyFred 7y ago
He's referring to the stoner equivalent of a hangover.
that_star_wars_guy 7y ago
Ah yes. "Over-baked." Happens to the best of us.
[deleted] 7y ago
did you double major at the same time? I'm trying determine if I could add a mix of business/STEM major to my statistics major I'm currently doing.
[deleted] 7y ago
You have yourself a busy schedule. Don't bite off more than you can chew, I was paranoid about that. Hence, no I did not double major or minor for my first and second Bachelor's.
I don't see why you couldn't mix and match. IMO, every STEM and math major should minor in business. Far too often engineers, IT guys etc. don't understand how business works and why "we" make certain decisions. I went from Computer Science to IT and now I'm all accounting/business, but I have a technical background. In other words I understand both sides of the coin. A good example is PGP encryption. From a non-techie standpoint it is a tedious pain in the ass. Techies can just do it without thinking. In the real world where CEOs and managers reside they need something that just works.
Basically what I mean is, being a STEM major with business knowledge is a HUGE plus. You'd be surprised how many physicians who have been practicing for years don't understand how compound interest works.
[deleted] 7y ago
that's exactly what I'm thinking.
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[deleted] 7y ago
I apologize. I will delete the comment.
(Seriously, sorry.)
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[deleted] 7y ago
Thanks for the kudos, but it was just me doing what everyone should be doing. Its like a river and a bridge. I have no idea where I was going with that.
TedTheAtheist 7y ago
This is so foreign to me. I can't imagine wanting to spend time with other guys. I'm such an introvert. I only spend time with women, and it's really only for some sex or a little enjoyment.
Chinny4daWinny 7y ago
Guys are usually more fun to talk to. Most of the girls I talk to either talk about gossip or social media. Hanging with the right guys can give you an outlet to vent emotions, people to bounce ideas with, guys to play sports with or go on an adventure with.
TedTheAtheist 7y ago
Yea, it's really rare to find a girl with a brain who you can connect with - I agree.
I have no want to vent or play sports except video games (which is a sport?). :) I can understand someone who needs more interaction would be wise to follow your advice, though, for sure.
Aywing 7y ago
This one hit home, fucking hurts....
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PawnToKing 7y ago
You just perfectly described what I've been calling social autists. I never quite took the time to articulate what feels off about them. You just nailed it. Bravo
ghengiscock 7y ago
Describes me to a T. I've fixed my body language and whatnot, but I still have trouble keeping up with normal boring conversation. Basically if I don't find the topic interesting I don't really know what to contribute and just stand there.
PawnToKing 7y ago
The secret is to genuinely get engaged. Try to care about who you're talking to. Ask questions. If you care about people and become engaged in the conversation, you will be perceived as charismatic.
ghengiscock 7y ago
Yeah I've noticed I'm usually only like this with people I have no intention of befriending. Usually either semi-retarded frat boys or drug dealers which are hard to avoid while I'm stuck in a trap house. Saving up money to bounce once the lease is up, but I do need to remind myself of this when I reenter normal society.
PawnToKing 7y ago
I'm sure you'll do great. Just always focus on internalizing behaviours you want by adapting your mindset to get the underlying principle engraved. A lot of guys try to be socially skilled by hardwiring the habits. That's not efficient. Develop genuine compassion once you're out and your social behaviour will follow
PaperStreetVilla 7y ago
Yup. It's surprising how many people are socially awkward generally. Most of the time, it's as easy as asking them about themselves, letting them run their mouth, and genuinely giving a shit about what they say.
Some of the best conversationalists I've ever met were just able to listen and ask probing questions
PawnToKing 7y ago
Bingo. It's about letting him or her talk. Truly the way to someone's heart is through your presence (read attention).
NaughtyFred 7y ago
How do I (or anyone reading your response) balance "ask probing questions" with "don't make a conversation an interview/interrogation"?
PaperStreetVilla 7y ago
Well, I agree interviews probably don't help to make friends. Interrogations either, unless it's a terrorist, then who knows? Do you know how to make a conversation flow? I mean, do you have a time when you can pose a question that shows you're interested in what they just said, and want more information?
NaughtyFred 7y ago
Obviously you know how based on the relative length of my answer.
I'm at the stage where I can make meaningful/valued/humorous contributions to a conversation that keep an existing conversation flowing. However being the architect/guiding force of said conversation is something I'm still working on.
"Bluepill frame" me was entertaining but often at the expense of how I was perceived which obviously didn't work to my advantage. "Redpill frame" me is (I think) perceived as more stuffy, perhaps even boring as I'm focusing on not lowering my perceived status for the sake of a joke. I'm working on that too.
[deleted] 7y ago
Remember that old greek saying when it comes to sex? Women are for babies, men are for pleasure.
Gave me a chuckle in this context
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Docbear64 7y ago
This is a great post anyway but I feel like this info would have been the most impactful and beneficial for me back in highschool . All of this makes so much sense now that I am older and understand the world better but being an awkward social outcast ... not knowing why , and not knowing how to fix it or that I was even broken in terms of social skills definitely hindered my highschool experience.
Thankfully I played football which helped a lot but I would definitely dedicate this post to highschool me and all the other young men still trying to get a feel for themselves and figure out how to not be ....well such a dork .
SkepticalMusk 7y ago
This post is basically the last 4 years of my life up till now. Looking to improve myself, would you say football saved your life? If you hadn't taken it would you have stayed the same?
Docbear64 7y ago
Football helped a lot It gave me an environment dominated by males where I could embrace being a guy for a while ( something I never had due to an absent father and an army of sisters + single mom / femininized step dad) . I think you can accomplish the same thing in a workout group, maybe a mens bowling league ( however this could be 50/50 blue pill men are everywhere) , an environment where guys can be guys .
If you find an environment like that at first it can be uncomfortable , men who are enjoying themselves and embracing the moment don't filter themselves and in our very PC society we're told that's wrong , be mindful of each others feelings which in my opinion is a soft way of repressing human expression . We don't want to be abusive but if we reduce our passion to avoid the possibility of being offensive what are we?
Anyway to answer your question I do think Football helped a lot , I was still a blue pill when it came to women but it taught me to embrace my destructive raw masculine power and to enjoy developing / harnessing it . I think Lifting can provide the exact same feeling , it may be missing the sense of community though so if you can find/ make a group that wants to SERIOUSLY lift it can be great.
It all comes down to embracing the idea that if you want to matter you have to be a polarizing human being . some people will hate you , others will love you , and both of those reactions are fine but to merely be embraced for being innoffensive is not living or existing at all I would argye. You're little more than a lamp in a corner that blends into the room .
PowerVitamin 7y ago
I don't think you, or anyone on TRP, should spend anytime focusing on losers or quirks. Focus is important, and using that focus where it should not be, will impact you negatively.
SonsOfRome 7y ago
The only real cure for social retardation is more experience socially. It's unfortunate because usually they put themselves out there less which atrophies social skills even more.
hipfash3 7y ago
There's a reason behind that. People treats a socially awkward person just like a creep. It's a sad catch-22.
ronsoness 7y ago
i thought from the headline this was going to be a rant, but now i see it is a very insightful write up. great work.
i want to say that yes, if a man is emotionally dependent on his woman, things can get ugly. i guarantee that many of these news stories you hear about ex boyfriends or husbands murdering their ex-gf/wives is because these are men who had a rough upbringing, never knew intimacy, possibly abused or neglected by parents, become emotionally vulnerable to a woman, and went berserk when their woman left them. not justifying their actions, just pointing out how a woman and emotions can wreck a man when it's suddenly gone.
i think having a support system is important, no matter the gender. it can be family, friends men or women. it could be random dudes on reddit. all the studies and research state that men have a broader network of people, but fewer close, true friends than women, leading to higher rates of loneliness, depression, etc. so it's very important to be aware of that and find friends who can provide honest, emotional support.
i can't 100% say that you can rely on male friends for emotional support. even now in my 30s, many of my male friends are not able to handle an honest discussion of emotions. i can because i have a strong EQ. my male friend can b/c he's a psychiatrist. many man just are different when it comes to support. one of my favorite movies, the 40 year old virgin, shows this wonderfully. the co workers clown on him for being a virgin, make jokes, and hire a tranny hooker for him. it's not emotional support in the usual sense or having a mature talk about emotions, but it's just their own way of showing support and friendship. not worse, not better, just it's own way.
FLFTW16 7y ago
I just want to say how enjoyable this article was to read. Every sentence flows and every paragraph delivers its concept with precision. It's clear you've put in the time and effort to hone your writing skills. This is an example of the polished gem that keeps people invested in this community.
KV-n 7y ago
as someone who this article is about it was much less enjoyable for me. after some recent positive development the third para` struck me back to the bottom. Fuck this shit
tallwheel 7y ago
Struck too close to home for me as well, but reading it was for my own good. The first step to overcoming it is recognizing the problem accurately.
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Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
How many times are you going to post the same comment?
You don't believe that I actually have a successful marriage, sex, or a high paying job. You think I and most of the red pill makes up stories on the internet. We get it.
It's hard to swallow that somebody who doesn't subscribe to your zen, stoic, loser ideology is more successful than you, so you assume I'm a lying kid on the internet. We can't exactly prove each other wrong. So you've said your piece. Multiple times. Move along.
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Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Honestly, even if you're a broke fatass, sitting in Mom's basement playing fantasy sports or hosting the bi-weekly poker night in your garage still gives you guys to talk to and hang out with and something else to do besides annoy your girlfriend with constant neediness.
Obviously, being a fit, successful, connected, interesting fellow is far superior, but even losers can make friends.
Boovs4life 7y ago
I'm skinny as fuck and whenever i go to the gym i try to talk to the most jacked guys about how i can get jacked myself and most of them are glad to help and pretty nice. Some even give me their numbers and tell me to hit then up if i want to train together or need some pointers. Although i technically don't have "anything to offer" they have become great acquaintances and they even approach me to say hi whenever im lifting and i think it's because they see i want to improve and better myself.
passepar2t 7y ago
Can confirm, am loser, have both close friends and more distant friends-by-proximity.
zeronegative 7y ago
So what is the definition of someone with no friends and no girlfriend?
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joh2141 7y ago
Detached from society I guess? I don't know. It isn't always a bad thing if it really is by choice but I'm pretty certain majority of people prefer having friends than none. The few who prefer by choice to not have friends rather enjoys the quiet peace or deluded antisocialites
zeronegative 7y ago
What if it's not by choice? For example the person speaks with many people and tries to be sociable and friendly, yet nobody wants to further the relationship from just acquaintances?
joh2141 7y ago
That simply means you might have lacking social skills. As sad as it is to hear, most people won't talk to you if you are one of the following; boring, ugly, socially awkward, or just weird. These standards are set and made by the community or society you are living in. Let's say you talk to 100 people and 100 people don't want to further a relationship from acquaintances but you are rather friendly and have decent social skills.
The problem could lie in that maybe you leave a terrible first impression rather than actually having any of these problems. I used to curse in the sidelines when I was benched in frustrating games back in high school but something I failed to notice were my actions like showing negative attitude hurt the mentality of my teammates.
I'm not telling you to be considerate like a beta bucking guy but consider how YOU appear in the perspective of another person. Everyone likes to believe themselves the best, loyal, kind, perfect human being... but we're far from perfect.
If you got actual social skill, try getting a job where you get a lot of foot traffic and you are required to talk a lot. Being timid and awkward as a new employee is generally accepted. This will get you used to striking convo's with customers. Also, most retail or customer service job requires YOU to initiate interaction which is the key thing here. Humans are habitual beings. You aren't going to magically become a friend-magnet.
To improve on boring/weird/ugly. Hitting the gym as much as you can. Try finding better fitted clothes. I can tell you being ugly has nothing to do with making friends though people are more attracted to making friends with better looking people.
As for boring, find hobbies. Sure you may not like going out or you might be a shut-in video game nerd but any hobby can be engaging and entertaining. I never thought I'd enjoy hiking but I love hiking now. Playing an instrument is always challenging and fun. Certain POPULAR hobbies right now can get you friends real quick include sports of course. Another is DJing (or sound engineer). Traveling to exotic places. Exciting thrilling stuff like skydiving. These generate interest and having myriads of hobbies make you a mystery man. Even if you aren't enticing a chick into bed and just trying to make friends, some of these qualities help.
Basically, if nobody wants to further it, then the problem lies with you. Not trying to sound insulting or criticizing. It's just like that old saying. If you can't spot a crazy person in the bus, it's probably you... or if you lose sleep over it, it's probably not a right thing to do for you.
R1fle 7y ago
Good point. I have few close friends, it's mainly because of my level headed thinking and quick witt. I really want to own my own condo though because I wanted to get a 4k TV, a new couch, and sort of create a welcoming chill spot for friends/girls. Right now all my apartment has is my desktop and a couple laptops, so when I bring girls over and I have to actually do chores they just sit on my PC and browse youtube until I'm ready to fuck then we move to the bedroom. Sometimes they'll play a computer game on my lap but still. A bright new shiny 4k tv would be pretty enticing to come over regularly for sporting events or when a new game comes out (strictly for social purposes as I have 0 time to just chill at home and do nothing).
[deleted] 7y ago
what can you provide to friends?
[deleted] 7y ago
Are you a homosexual? This sounds homosexual.
ShouldersofGiants127 7y ago
Guys don't care about if you're jacked or handsome lol. The boat is definitely a perk tho. I've made tons of male friends off my love and knowledge of sports. Shit I've made friends off of talking video games. If you're concerned that you're making friends with losers, turn them into winners.
rm_-rf_slash 7y ago
This is why having masculine interests is a central theme here. How the hell can you relate to people if you only on focus on your girlfriend? I think that's where working out and taking care of yourself come in with regards to other guys -- you're going to be able to relate to better people more easily.
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ScarletNumbers 7y ago
This reminds me of Jerry Seinfeld's line about Men's Fitness magazine. Why do they need to keep publishing every month? What changes? Personally I think it is gay porn.
gostwiththemost 7y ago
I doubt the majority of guys who buy that magazine are jerking to it. If they want gay porn it is found on the internet easily. Here is the real reason: when losers buy a magazine instead of working out, they feel like they are doing something. They pay a few dollars to feel good about themselves.
Getting fit is simple, but it isn't easy. Any jackass can fire up his computer and learn the information, though some can't even be bothered to do that. You need self-discipline and planning skills to apply it. Look at reddit's fitness sub and the endless circle jerk. I bet 90% of the guys posting there have repulsive physiques. Joining the circle jerk helps them feel good about themselves without actually doing anything.
ShouldersofGiants127 7y ago
Good point. It may be different for me because I'm a personal trainer and an aspiring financial advisor so I gotta help people get over their loser mentality more often than not. But I don't blame for not undertaking that task.
SetConsumes 7y ago
Ha, getting paid to do it would be a big incentive
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Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
I think you accidentally clicked a link to The Red Pill this afternoon.
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Whisper 7y ago
You don't actually... know... where you are, do you?
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[deleted] 7y ago
I used to tell my friend this all the time albeit in a simpler way .. you don't need a girl as a friend you don't get nothing out of it
Atlas-XIII 7y ago
Nice post. 1)Gettin out of your head 2)think before you talk In my opinion this ia the medicine
leputto 7y ago
So where does being vulnerable and such that is harped about in models fall in line with this then? Doesn't Manson say you create attraction and connection with women by having a somewhat emotional connection that is formed through vulnerability? Just curious about how this falls in line or goes against what OP is talking about here.
baladash_malanore 7y ago
I needed this post. Thanks.
[deleted] 7y ago
in many ways this is like the civil war, or "PC" vs "NON PC people", or republicans vs liberals, or trump supporters vs not. can't you guys see how the truth is always somewhere between the two extremes?
jimjackjoe 7y ago
When it comes to being around what I consider normal men, or normal people in general, I tend to get bored incredibly quickly. They're so...normal. When I start to get bored, I start fucking with them or just saying weird things to amuse myself. How does one overcome the boredom and stay focused on the task at hand of pretending to be normal?
It's hard work staying on task. Like, the other day, I was hanging out with some normal, respectable people and they spent a good half hour discussing the benefits and drawbacks of various airlines. It was excruciating. I wanted to shout, "Just shut the fuck up already! Who gives a shit?". Then stand up and piss on everyone. Just whip my dick out and cover everyone in urine.
Or the other day this chick was talking about her boring life in medical school. And I'm playing along, being all nice and normal, asking questions. But the convo goes on and on. I'm beginning to get antsy. We are all at a dinner table, so I can't just get up and leave. Finally, I'm just like, "So, have you ever been in a medical situation where it was necessary to jack off a homeless man?" I couldn't help myself. I had to do something.
Shit, people also love talking about movies and tv shows. It's brutal. Or the renovations they're making to their house. Dear lord. Honestly, I generally avoid hanging out with normal people unless there is a greater purpose behind it. I view it the same as going to work. Naw, it's harder than going to work.
So yeah, I'm better off with a few friends who I can talk to about weird theories and things. Ya'll who are naturally on the normal plane have no goddamn idea how lucky you are. You should be thanking God every day, bros.
So anyway, any advice on how to find normal people--not just guys but women too--more palatable? And when I say normal, I mean both cool jock-bro stock-brokers and nerdy guys who are into video games and anime and engineering. They both fall into the "normal" category as far as I'm concerned, but different spectrums.
I'm obviously not better than normal people. But I am genuinely somewhat different--not superior, different. Normal people are far superior to me at existing on earth. They just get it...it comes so naturally. They own one home and think, "Naw, I'd like a bigger home in a better neighborhood." Or, "Man, I sure would like to go see the new Marvel movie today!" Or, "Boo hoo, I didn't get invited to Joe's party." Or, "Yayyy, tomorrow is my birthday!" Or, "What, you're voting for Trump? He'll ruin the country!" Or, "What, you're voting for Hillary? She'll ruin the country!" Or, "Would you like to see my new patio furniture?"
Those lucky bastards. I still prefer being me, don't get me wrong, but it's a harder row to hoe for sure.
whuttupfoo 7y ago
This has been me. I've been saying some incredibly weird shit lately just because everyone I meet is saying pretty much the exact same thing everyone else is saying. Which is nothing. I have to entertain myself somehow or I'll never make any friends.
The upside to this is that people will think you're fucking awesome and special because you have the guts to say some outlandish shit in uptight professional settings.
jimjackjoe 7y ago
I think normal people are looking for some deliverance from it all too, but they don't usually know it. When I say something outlandish, they end up liking it, because it takes them to that place they can't go but want to.
It's all sales tactics in the end of course, but that's how I see it.
Stolz36 7y ago
Idk man, I'd call myself socially awkward but not as extreme as you'd described. I fare well at most parties, and during normal social interactions - I'm just not the type to approach people (why I call myself socially awkward) in situations where that's normal (parties you go to as a random with no friends, weddings, formal parties, etc). I do have only like 6 or so friends though.
Anyways, came by to ask this - okay so you are dating a girl. So it's bad to become best friends AFTER you start dating. What about before though?
Sidenote: I like TRP bc it teaches me more about how women think, but at the same time I believe it's teaching me that no relationship is perfect and will last till death. Like man, idc about perfect relationship shit but it'd be cool to not have to worry about ol' girl sneakin away to get some other dude's donger just bc he drives a 'rari.
BoutThatLife 7y ago
That last sentence is a work of art.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Becoming friends before you start dating is pretty much sex-poison. If you meet a girl and don't begin escalating toward sex very shortly after meeting, but instead linger around and become friends, she's not going to consider you sexually. Getting yourself out of that position is more trouble than it's worth. You might as well just fuck a different woman that you didn't dig such a big hole with.
Why do you want to make friends with girls anyway? Women are shitty friends.
[deleted] 7y ago
Way back when I had a girl literally tell me "if a guy doesn't fuck me on the second date, it's not going to happen." Would have never expected it from that girl. In hindsight, this was the second time her and I hung out. lmao
Stolz36 7y ago
Sounds like it is not feasible then. Yeah idk, a dude can dream - it'd be cool (dream world) to have your best friend be your partner. Although, thinking on it - never really heard of any such situations.
ElCthuluIncognito 7y ago
I think of it this way. It sure would be nice to have that, the 'perfect' relationship that gives you all of the validation and euphoria you could want without conditions. Sure would be nice to wake up with 3 commas in the bank statement. Sure would be nice to never worry about aging or dying.
It's funny how Hollywood makes the first one seem realistic but the other two complete impossibilities.
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[deleted] 7y ago
It should be obvious with comments like "women are just for fucking," but archwinger is full of shit. It's absolutely possible to be solid friends with a woman, and it's the norm to be best friends with your sexual partner. It's really fucking lazy to put all of humanity into two distinct boxes based on which genitalia you have. People are complex and you will find men and women have a massive range of personalities that overlap quite a bit.
All of the "AWALT" qualities that are talked about here are basically just negative human qualities that could easily be exhibited by men.
It's really crazy how this sub has changed over the years. I subbed here because I would put women on pedestals and I liked the idea of training myself to view women as just regular people, because it allowed me to stop being easily manipulated by female sexuality. This sub has blown right past that ideology into "women are subhuman simple creatures and all of their behaviors can be predicted" territory, and it's really fucking weird.
I still enjoy theredpill because a lot of content is geared toward self improvement and building confidence and prowess, but I'll never understand the pure hatred for women that some of the users here have
Eskibro47 7y ago
Someone needed to say this; thanks for taking on the task!
Hotdawg179 7y ago
You have a solid point but so many of us came here because we got shat on for a long time. Or cheated on, whatever.
[deleted] 7y ago
Though I prefer a small number of friends because I'm an introvert anyway, whenever I've lived with a SO I'm still usually busy doing my own thing/in a separate room all the time.
Men need a man cave for a reason.
Veritas_potissimum 7y ago
I was just thinking about how all my guy friends prefer to hang out in mixed groups and bring girls along. Aside from not getting any useful life tips, girls over time will make you lose your perspective on seeing them as something to sexualize. Too many men in my opinion use female "friends" as an excuse not to approach other women meanwhile they are firmly in her orbit and in full denial. Maybe it's just me but listening to a woman for a prolonged period is her reward for giving me something and being friends with her is an asymmetrical reward.
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[deleted] 7y ago
What is with the influx of spaghetti spillers recently?
P.S. It's okay to use paragraphs my friend.
tallwheel 7y ago
This is in reply to a post that contained an extremely unflattering description of socially awkward men, and yet you think we never describe male behavior?
Posts analyzing alpha behavior? That's practically all this sub is about... if you were to take out the analyses of female behavior.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
If I wanted to fuck men, I'd analyze their behavior.
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Trumpanoly 7y ago
Never rely on women for emotional support.
They will beg and plead for you to open up. If you do it's like giving away the magic trick. They will never hold you to the same regard again.
It will not form a deeper emotional connection. You will be seen as weak.
psycrabbit 7y ago
This is an excellent post that provides a much needed insight into a psychological problem that needs actual attention (medical health!) and not just a note on a forum.
But type of behavior isn't something your can just unlearn, you cant 'do a few reps' and leave it behind. Take the advice from this subreddit as I personally believe it gives alot of raw material. But seek treatment for your issues of social isolation/depression/loneliness also.
Goodluck to you all, if your as fucked up as me in terms of socializing, you'll need it!
ScruffyPete101 7y ago
What about having a couple of female friends as well. Because if you're getting laid the itch is out of the way. Sometimes it's nice to have a woman about for a different opinion. At least I think so.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Women you don't want to fuck who have friends you do want to fuck or social connections that can get you other women, job leads, clients, cool shit for cheap/free, and the like are fine. It's not like there's some kind of rule against doing anything in the world with a woman besides sex.
Just keep in mind that women are shitty and unreliable friends, so use them for what you can, but don't depend on them.
CaptainRaz 7y ago
Some of it has a little of traditional old chinese wisdom. They used to have wifes and concubinnes, explicity for that reason: no single girl would be for all we expect a wife to be nowadays.
RPthrowaway123 7y ago
This is one of the huge mistakes I made with my first, and to a lesser extent my second, relationship. When you're socially cutoff it's so, so tempting to just fall into that pattern. I've more or less got a handle on it, but I'm constantly paying attention to how I perceive girls that I'm with so I don't fall back into it. Fucking blue pill bullshit will always try to come back.
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[deleted] 7y ago
Did you even read the post?
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[deleted] 7y ago
You read a post that says the reason why lots of guys aren't any good with women is because they try to have them fullfill all aspects of their social life, which no one person could ever do; and you come up with:
So you are either stupid, or a liar.
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Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Not people. Women. Men have additional value.
Work on your reading.
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Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
I used to be one of those faggots.
Not on reddit or anything. But I genuinely believed with all of my heart that less emotional intimacy with a woman was the worst fate ever. That life was empty without a magical partnership.
This post strikes a nerve with those people because they are me. They're you. They're us before we knew better.
tallwheel 7y ago
I was wondering if you were describing your past self in this post, and now I think you have confirmed that you were. Good on you for acknowledging your past mistakes, and trying to lead other men so they can get past those shortcomings as well.
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Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
I live a happy life. Where do you get your info? I'm well fucked, have all of the power in my marriage, make good money, and am into a lot of fun things.
Hating women and being happy aren't mutually exclusive. It's those codependent losers who fixate on making partners happy that live unfortunate lives.
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Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Where are you getting your adjectives? I have sex, money, and a family. Life is good. I owe it all to thinking bad shit about women in my head and treating them poorly. "Bad" ideologies don't necessarily lead to unsuccessful lives.
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FieldLine 7y ago
He's a great writer. Even if you disagree with what he is saying, there's no doubt about that. Most people today, especially on reddit, don't know how to write with clear and concise language to convey their point.
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CrazyHorseInvincible 7y ago
Why are you even coming here?
Let me show the door. Banned.
-drukpa-kunley- 7y ago
Awesome job with the ban hammer.
The SJWs always have a tell. Notice how her comments devolved into ad-hominem attacks and shaming language.
and
and
aanarchist 7y ago
you make it sound like it's not ok to not be like everyone else.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Most men are obese. Some are scrawny. Most men lack confidence. Most men have a hard time getting dates and getting laid with any regularity. Eventually, most men end up married to mediocre women who were the best they could do on account of being most men. Half of those men end up divorced. Another quarter of them are under-sexed and cripplingly unhappy.
It's not okay to be like everyone else. Be better.
mnemos_1 7y ago
A good candidate for the TL;DR of TRP.
aanarchist 7y ago
being better includes not wasting time with those who are enslaved by thoughts and ideas that aren't theirs.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
You can be buddha. The rest of us will go get laid.
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aanarchist 7y ago
sorry i vomited a bit in my mouth at the thought.
BiteAndThrow 7y ago
Every Law has its reversal. Read 48 Laws of Power.
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aanarchist 7y ago
that doesn't matter it's stupid to act like other people are acting because you want to fit in. if we're different people that just don't get along that's fine, no skin off my back. but why oh why would i go out of my way to fit in with them when i don't like them in the first place? that's not even beta bux, that's beta cux.
i mean hey bro, if that's what you gotta do to feel like you have value, more power to you, but me i'm gonna stick to doing what i love and spending my time with people whose company i actually enjoy. if it's like a business deal sort of thing and they wanna make some money with me, they had better have enough sense not to pull high school bullshit with me, i will walk and not look back. this is called abundance mentality, slave.
[deleted] 7y ago
Yep. I'm a loner by choice, but still get laid. We now live in a severely atomized 'society', where no one really gives a turd about each other (unless you have something to offer - kinda reminds you of females, right?)
I don't pretend to like people, and I've lived long enough (and have had several large social circles in my life) to know that it's mostly BS. It's all a facade. You'd be surprised how much minimal effort you can put in to come across as a normie (just enough to get your meat stick wet).
As aanachrist rightly points out, don't pretend to be something you're not. Otherwise you'll come across as a fake-ass, sleazy estate agent, who tries too hard to be all chummy. Have some integrity to yourself, and some self respect.
aanarchist 7y ago
there's people who have perfected the art of the chameleon, both men and women. they're deep down really fucked up emotionally and mentally, and based on what i've learned they have to be so as a result of a really bad environment, toxic kids in the playground, and abusive or neglectful parents, combined with the inability to cope. that's a sure formula for conforming against your will. i've met women like that and while the white knight in me wants to give her a hug and tell her it's gonna be ok, the real life me who's actually tried doing that knows that she'll fucking murder you in your sleep if you let her get to close.
i'm fortunate to have a few friends who just genuinely enjoy spending time with me, rather than i have something they can get out of me. i honestly think it's really sad how the majority of society is becoming like robots that just look at other people in terms of what value they can extract from them. hypergamy in a nutshell, and i don't think a happy or peaceful world can result of people being like that. i'm not a hippie but i kinda believe in the whole circle of life oneness thing, and us being so disconnected from the world and each other is a part of the reason why everyone is so depressed. we're isolated, and that's just how big daddy wants it, because we are strong when we stand together.
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aanarchist 7y ago
rofl, i love it. idk bro you do you.
epistemic_humility 7y ago
Law 6: court attention at all costs.
Stand out in a crowd and such.
SetConsumes 7y ago
Sure, but offending them with your opinions and dress doesn't help.
[deleted] 7y ago
Ah, the Terp-a-lerpers are wailing on social retards. Oh das irony of all ironies.
tallwheel 7y ago
Maybe because we want to help them become better? Sure, many of us were formerly very much like the "social retard" described in this post, or still are to a large extent. The important thing is to recognize it and attempt to fix the problem.
You bluepers are ones to talk. All you do is make fun of social retards. Which one of us do you think is helping them more?
[deleted] 7y ago
Better, meaning, "women are for fucking" type of stuff? Black-and-white thinking.
My comment was tongue-in-cheek. I'm not a blooper, and I don't make fun of social retards. I make of fun of self-congratulating, inflexible ideologies like TRP and it's adulating adherents.