The first step was to just get used to talking to strangers. I’ve always been pretty bad at smalltalk, and “acting the part” in public, I would get nervous with everyone I met and women were the worst. This was why my first few cold approaches went horribly, floundering and stuttering like a schoolboy. I was having trouble having quick conversations with cashiers… it was delusional of me to think I could jump straight to gaming 10s and not make a fool of myself.

“Hey how’s it going” with the subway guy, “Wow the weather’s finally good isn’t it” with the trainers at the gym, or “how’s your day been” with the cashier dude at the cafeteria. Quick conversations, warming myself up, learning the lines, and just getting comfortable with making smalltalk. This really helped clear out my “stranger anxiety”. I always felt like I wasn’t worthy of being part of other people’s daily lives, like I had to hide from them because I was awkward and ugly. Like I was intruding. Years of introversion and school bullying can do that to you I guess. Once I found out people wouldn’t sneer at me for attempting to talk to them, and everyone was generally polite, I could move onto step 2.

Complimenting women came next. While it was nice and all to talk everyone, the aim was to get good enough at it to pick up any random pretty girl. For this, I would have to bite the bullet and actually speak to beautiful women, as scary and intimidating as they were. This was a different ballpark entirely, because there’s always an assumed sexual motive behind opening a woman, regardless of how innocent you try to come across. Of course, I don’t blame them, some of these girls get hit on constantly, and it must get very tiring after a while; hence the scowl and the bitchy putdowns they’ve all had to learn. And well, they’re right to assume, because behind the facade, I am attempting to get into her pants after all… why else would I be speaking to her?

So anyway I needed to get over this first approach anxiety of actually talking to a woman without becoming an awkward mess. Always was my problem. Too much pressure on myself to succeed, no outcome independence, and too afraid of being put down and humiliated in front of people. So I began by trying to talk to girls for a few seconds and then just leaving, normally complimenting something about them and then moving on. Immunising myself slowly. I wrote a whole post about it. This did wonders for helping me kill approach anxiety; it taught me that a lot of women are actually quite receptive to strangers, something I didn’t expect (I thought they’d all be annoyed I bothered them).It taught me that they can throw up the bitch shields but it has nothing on me, it’s just a conditioned response. It taught me to act immediately without giving myself time to hamster into paralysis. I know some of you were mad at the whole “never compliment women it just makes them more entitled bla bla bla” and that may be true, but this technique helped me overcome some personal blocks so I think it was worth the price.

I would say things like “I like your shoes”, or “oh you go to x college me too” or “that’s a nice dress” or “you’re very cute” and then just leave. Really fun to watch the girls get all defensive and then pull the rug out from under them as I left, or to just see a few smiles. Some of them would be quite receptive and I could have extended them into real sets if I tried, but I wasn’t ready yet.

Merch Girl

The next step was to put the first two steps together; approach a girl, and actually have a casual conversation with her. Now, this is actually quite difficult. Why? Because the girl never makes it easy. She will give you one word answers or be awkward and unresponsive. There’s no way to avoid it. It gets to the point where you have to just keep asking her questions in order to keep her talking, it may feel like you’re interrogating her but that’s the only way I’ve found that works. Normally she quite likes it anyway.

Women are the receiving sex, they are acted upon; so you have to do the acting. Don’t expect her to just play ball immediately once you open her, you gotta work your way through her defenses, so there’ll be a lot of;

“Where are you from?”

“What do you do?”

“Oh you’re a student, where do you go to school?”

“Oh I have a friend who went there, did you like it?”

“What are you studying?”…. “Oh that seems hard”

It will feel a bit disingenuous, and it kinda is. But it’s an act you gotta play. She knows this, and wants you to do it. If you pull it off well you may eventually develop a real rapport and fall into a real conversation, but until then, you gotta act the part.

I remember one of my first ever cold approaches, I said to her “Hi you’re really pretty can I have your number”. She said “No. Nice try though”, and laughed at me. Cringe. How autistic. You can’t just go in with no lube, you gotta warm her up first.

There’s no way to avoid this, no one is attractive enough that you can just burst in and number close immediately. Not even GigaChad. You must build comfort and show her you’re socially capable and not a psychopath murderer. She will be a bit on edge because no one ever talks to strangers in our culture anymore, and the vast majority of men are too pussy to cold approach… so she will think you’re a bit strange at first and will be guarded. You gotta show her you’re the good kinda strange and not the creepy kinda strange.

Look for Hooks in what she’s saying to give your conversation fuel, lest you burn out. Here’s an example.

“Oh I go to University^1 of California^2 Berkeley, studying International Relations^3”

“1. Oh California, that’s a nice place, you from there originally?”

“2. Oh I’ve heard good things about that school, did you like it?”

“3. International Relations? What’s that?”

Three different directions you can go, three different hooks that lead into more hooks. If the conversation dries up and you've run out of things to say, bring up a hook from earlier.

My first experience of this was on a tube and there was this woman next to me, pretty once but post wall, who was being gamed by these absolute middle age dorks. These guys were bluepill cringe incarnate, they were both almost 40 but acting like damn teenagers. Stupid jokes, lots of smiling and laughing at dumb shit, very clear nervousness. She was just nodding along and talking to them like they were toddlers. I didn’t say anything and just listened to their dumb conversation until they left, neither of them being brave enough to actually ask for her number. Once they were gone I said “they were a bit odd weren’t they” to her. She seemed very happy, almost relieved, that I spoke to her. We spoke for a bit more, found out that the two guys had been at a Foo Fighters concert and she was one of the Merch girls. I asked her if she had any free Merch for me, she laughed. I asked her more questions and she responded well, the stark contrast between the two dorks and the socially capable, younger chad seemed to put her at ease with the male sex again. Eventually she asked me a question and this is one of the best and most obvious IOIs you can get. If she isn’t interested in you she will work to make the conversation die; one word answers and no effort to extend the chat. If she starts asking you questions back it means she’s interested.

Anyway I didn’t get her number because was still too nervous and inexperienced to figure out how to crack that question.

What I learnt? Not hard to have a conversation with a stranger if you expect nothing and are outcome independent. They will fall into your frame normally.

Student Midwife

The next girl was a bar thot where I learned the power of assuming attraction and blasting through the bitch shields. As mentioned earlier, this is the first and only shit test most women need. They attempt to scare you away by just being mean and cold. Don’t fall for it, remember it’s a test. She will warm up to you as you show her that you are unaffected by her ice glare.

It’s actually a very good shit test, as it instantly qualifies who the alpha and beta men are to her. Are you such a pussy that you will become a floundering mess in the presence of a mean girl? Yes? Shit test failed. Beta.

Alpha men aren’t scared of little girls, no matter how mean. She’s lame, she knows this, inwardly. She’s a 100 pound Netflix binge watcher who cries at stupid things. If you’re so scared of her that you trip over your words, then how are you supposed to protect her from all the other gorillas or even just not socially embarrass her in front of other people? She uses this technique to divide the men who approach her, find the ones who have balls and are socially capable. The only way to pass is to ignore it.

So this girl was a short, T H I C C, blonde at my university bar. Big ol tiddies. I was drunk and approached her in the queue for the cloakroom and she says “who the hell are you” with a scowl.

“I’m Heathcliff nice to meet you what’s your name?” and just grab her limp hand with both of mine and shake it.

She tells me her name but that’s it and she’s still scowling.

“What do you do?” I say. She tells me she’s a student midwife and says “why are you talking to me?”

“Wow are you always this rude?” I say and then the scowl disappears and she gives me the wide eyes and says “you’re weird” and I say “thanks… so who are you here with?” and she points out her friends and I continue to talk with her as if she hasn’t been a bitch to me this whole time and slowly I see her shields relax and her face softens and she’s even smiling at this point and we get to the counter and then I say “nice to meet you” and bail.

It was so easy, no problems whatsoever just blasting through her defenses until she was kind and responsive. Just had to not take her seriously. Danced with her a few times later in the night, but was unable to close.

What I learnt? It’s just a shit test. She might like you but will be bitchy anyway. Ignore it and talk to her like normal, she will fall into your frame eventually.

“No thanks”

Next girl was at some kind of business training event for students at my unviersty. Pretty long haired Slovakian brunette. I was mentoring at a summer school in the lecture hall opposite. I see her on the first day, and without thinking, and having finally killed my approach anxiety through practice, walk over to her. She gives me the wide eyes and is very nervous around me. I took this as a good sign. I find out she’ll be here the entire week so I decide not to insta-close, I tell her I’ll catch her another day.

The next day I try to talk to her and she’s a bit more confident and less eager to talk. Whatever, I think. Just bitch shields. I attempt a few more times throughout the week, and she is polite but not very responsive.

On the last day I say fuck it and decide to just try and number close. “We’re probably not going to see each other again”, I say. “Give me your number so we can meet up”.

“No thanks” she says.

“Wow you’re breaking my heart” I say with a smile. She skips away and I never see her again.

What I learnt? You can’t win them all. It would be stupid to assume you can have a 100% success rate. She probably had a boyfriend she was actually loyal to. Or maybe she thought I was ugly. Or too forward. Point is, I failed. Did I get all bitter about it? No. Did I overanalyse what went wrong? Not really, I think I played it correctly. You just won’t win sometimes. Before, this kind of rejection would have stumbled me for at least a few days. Now, it was just par for the course. I was getting rejected left, right and center, and it stung less each time. In fact, until now, I completely just forgot about it. I was gaming other girls, and I had begun to develop that one important thing; abundance mentality.

When you’re not gaming everywhere, every girl you meet becomes the most important girl in the world. You fall in love with all of them, and develop small little one-itises. So when you eventually fuck up it hurts hard each time.

But then you get into the habit of trying your luck with every girl, and accept that not even the best celebrities have 100% success rates, and yours might even be below 50% …yet even that is enough, and better than your 0% when you didn’t try. Eventually rejections stop hurting, and you stop falling head over heels with every pretty girl who pays attention to you, because you have a lot of girls paying attention to you and it stops being something special.

You know what abundance mentality isn’t? Writing a whole reddit post about every girl who you manage to close as if it was some great feat. I did this with the next three girls, entire posts, edited and proofread; but before posting them a new girl came along and I forgot about the previous girl and realised it was just kinda gay to get so invested in each girl that I was writing for hours about her. Abundance mentality is allowing these girls to have a few paragraphs instead of entire posts.

Climbing Actress

This girl was an actress I met at the climbing gym. All actresses are crazy and this one was no different, she carried herself like a disney princess and had this general happy go lucky vibe that was very attractive. I struck up a conversation and my game was impeccable. She bounced off me very well and laughed a lot and tripped over her words and we developed very quick rapport. I had no anxiety around her whatsoever and she was totally in my frame. It was textbook. There was this guy there who attempted to game her before me who looked on incredulously as I made this girl giggle and got her number. In fact everyone kind of stared at the show. It was a great feeling, watching myself ascend up the dominance hierarchy. She says to me as we leave, “you’re very confident” and I say, “I know”.

We arrange for a next date at the gym and I meet her again the next week. This time it didn’t go so well. I was a bit of a nervous mess. I didn’t attempt to game her, as I thought I had it in the bag already. I was stuttery and quiet, and in her frame and could feel the attraction wane as the date went on. We went to the park after and she found out I liked Trump and was a “conspiracy theorist” and I found out she was a “communist” (but actually she knew jack shit about politics) and at one point she made fun of me to my face and I knew all was lost. When I texted her a few days later to hopefully arrange another date so I could salvage it she gave me the “I might have work on that day I’ll let you know” which was nice and polite and more than most girls would do but I got the hint and didn’t text her again.

What I learnt? That you gotta keep up the game the whole time. You might have knocked her socks off the first date but it’s all forgotten and reset and you gotta start from scratch each time, you gotta maintain the act. There is no such thing as a sure thing. Hey, at least with this one I got a number, and a second date. I’m improving each time…

Bitchy 10

There’s this girl on my campus who’s an easy 10. Undeniably. If you saw her, you’d all agree. Her body alone makes her a 9, tan, perfect hourglass, double Ds on a tiny waist and squat ass, thick thighs and long legs. A girl like this shouldn’t be allowed to have it all, but she was also blessed with a gorgeous face too. The universe just gave this girl everything.

Of course, it comes with a price. She’s a massive bitch. A histrionic, entitled bitch. The kind that puts down and humiliates betas for the fun of it, and has one of those horrible witch cackles and crazy eyes. Instagram queen too. These kinds of girls always terrified me, and I never even attempted to game them before, as I knew they’d eat me up. But this time I was ready, I thought; fuck it. Let’s just try. Let’s try something crazy. What’s the worst that can happen? I get shot down? I’ve been shot down a thousand times, who cares.

Now I’d seen this girl glance at me a few times throughout the year, and sometimes even a little smile. I just scowled back at her, playing up the whole “dark and mysterious” vibe. She continued to give me these little IOIs, maybe just baiting me into giving her attention; I couldn’t fully believe it because this girl is smoking hot and I’m not really her level, but I learnt a while back not to deny the IOIs and just go for it. I also learnt, from this subreddit mainly, that you gotta play 10s an entirely different way.

I walk up to her. As expected, the scowl:

“What’s your problem?” I say.

“Huh?”

“You keep staring at me. It’s creeping me out”

“I’m not…” The scowl disappears. Now just surprised eyes. I let the silence sit for a while.

“Look I get that you have this little crush on me but forget it, it’s not going to happen. You realise I’m out of your league right?”

She stutters at me. Awkward silence.

“Are you autistic?” I say.

Now she’s just speechless.

“Leave me alone okay?” I say. And walk away, smiling to myself.

The next day in the library this girl couldn’t take her eyes off me and knocked her macbook off the table when I walked by. Her friend was sneaking glances now too and they would mutter and look over. Fuck. That actually worked as intended… I'd primed her perfectly to game her much better in the future, and she was ready and open to get wooed. These girls used to make me piss my pants. But all you gotta do is be mean to them. Who knew…

What I learnt? Frame is everything with dimepieces. You gotta act like you're better than them, and you control the dynamic. Negging doesn't work much with lower-tier girls, but with 10s its mandatory.

Goth Spinner

The next girl was a tiny little goth I met at the supermarket. Russian, flat chested, long black hair and this black maxi dress and cult necklace, she looked like a vampire. I was totally into it.

At this point, gaming is second nature to me, and approach anxiety is dead, so I just walked up and spoke to her in the queue. Cold-approach is as much mindset as it is technique, and you just gotta make yourself into the type of person that speaks to everyone casually. It is a muscle that needs to be trained, and you can lose it for a while if you don’t use it, but get it back again after some work. This is why we tell you to warm up with girls at clubs, have a few practice thots you don’t intend to close, where you can just sharpen your blade and adopt the frame, ready for the real challenges later.

Anyway I’ve been in total “confident fuckboy, I don’t care I’ll talk to you” mode for the past few weeks, have snowballed out of control with all the practice and rejections, so I approach her in the supermarket. She’s quite awkward about it at first, makes the conversation tricky, but eventually warms up to me. She studies art. Typical. I offer her some of my food and she takes it, a little bonding trick I’ve learnt. She's also my age, but doesn't look it. Lucky girl won't hit the wall for a long time. I see also, from the glint in her eye, that this girl has a lot of crazy in her. I’m totally into it.

She is the one who texts me first the next day which is a great sign, but I’m busy. She offers another time at a bar and we go and the conversation is a bit strained at first as we’re both a bit nervous but she eventually warms up to me and actually likes my conspiracy theories. I suggest we go back to my place and she says “I’m not so sure” and I say “Don’t worry I’m not trying to fuck you it’s a bit trashy to try and get laid on the first date” and she likes this so agrees.

At my place she is impressed by my posters and my bookcase and I ask her to make tea (another bonding technique, ask her to do something small for you and she falls into your dominant frame, and also develops a small relationship with your home). We drink our tea and play chess and she’s actually pretty good at chess (for a girl), as in she doesn’t make mistakes and can appreciate a beautiful move and this is more attractive to me than anything about her. I realise she fulfills my one-itis trifecta: pretty, smart, and crazy. When she leaves she does that girl thing where she asks to borrow a book in order to give her a plausibly deniable excuse to see me again (sometimes they may “accidentally” leave an item of clothing behind) and so I give her my copy of Ender’s Game because it’s my favourite book and she says she’ll read it.

The next date doesn’t go so well. I was supposed to meet her at a park but she isn’t there. There’s this muslim guy smoking a joint on the grass and I think he was looking for company because he beckons me over and offers to me the joint and I can’t say no as I’m a damn addict. He is very pleasant to talk with and has these deep, tired eyes and raspy voice. He tells me he works night shifts and I thank him for the weed and he asks me if I’m gay and if I believe in God and I say “no” and “yes” and this seems to please him so he gives me his number so we can smoke again and then I tell him I gotta meet the girl and he says bye. I’m totally fucking high at this point, like stupid-acting high and people are giving me looks and she’s still not at the park and then I realise we got mixed up and she’s actually at a different park. So I walk all the way to the different park like a loser to see her and when I arrive she seems a bit weirded out by me and I know it’s because the weed makes me autistic and bad posture and probably bad breath too. She’s doesn’t seem as into me as before but agrees to go back to my place anyway and we play more chess and I’m not seeing the disinterest through the weed haze and instead have started autistically coming up with redpill rules for why she wants to fuck me even though she didn’t.

She mentioned I was being a bit too forward and I didn’t get the hint and it gets late and she wants to play a card game and I say “I know a better game” and she says “what?” and I say “the one where we take our clothes off” and she doesn’t laugh and says “why would you say that what’s wrong with you” and we have a little back and forth where she calls me arrogant and I say “you think you’re smarter than me?” and she says “no, I know you’re smarter than me but you’re such a shit about it” and then she called me creepy and got up to leave and so I tried to kiss her but my hail mary didn’t work and she basically ran out the door.

She didn’t reply to any of my later texts and I had nothing to lose so I attempted to apologise but she just ignored me entirely and it hurts when you can get punished so hard for a dumb mistake like that. I’m not infallible and will fuck up occasionally, but one fuck up is enough to drop you for most girls… and being ignored totally without a bye hurts like shit. Girls can be cruel man.

Oh, and I never got my book back.

What I learnt? Stop getting high around girls. And stop autistically following redpill rules thinking they should all work in every situation. Heck, I even wrote a whole post about this, yet I fell into my own trap. There’s no need to be too forward, even if you think you have it in the bag, and some girls need more comfort than others, you’ll scare them away otherwise. Sucks, I quite liked that one.

I’d taken lessons away from all the girls I’d gamed thus far, and learnt to adjust my technique until I had a pretty good toolset.

• Approach anxiety never disappears, but you learn to deal with it better.

• Small talk is a skill that needs to be practised and honed.
• Bitch shields are always there, but they become easy to blast through with the right mindset.

• Irrational confidence and assuming attraction is mandatory, especially for entitled women.

• Rejection happens and is unavoidable, don’t let it faze you too much.

• Girls are fickle and you need to constantly game them, don’t get too comfortable, yet don’t be too forward either.

• Girls are all different, and dogmatic rules won’t always work on them all the same, play it by ear and adjust your game to each one.

I was sitting on a train as I was contemplating all this, and had one of those life realisations on how far I had come and how much I had grown. From a guy who used to stutter on the line with telephone banking to bringing back girls I met at the supermarket and putting down 10s like petulant children. I allowed myself to be proud without getting too bigheaded about it. It wasn’t easy, I had to practice a lot and fail a lot too, and it wasn’t something I could learn from subreddits or self-help books, I had to actually go out there and risk my neck and lose a few times. Progress had been made, and I was ready for my next challenge. I wanted to actually close a girl I met in public and get her into my bed, this was the next step, the final test of my abilities, it had all been leading up to this. I was ready and just a bit excited, in one of those moods where you’re itching to befriend strangers and flirt with pretty girls. But there was no one on the carriage except a couple of old women and a guy in a suit. I considered just talking to the suit guy for fun but then the carriage doors open and she walks in; the universe delivered her to me: the Bait.

I have a subreddit. Link in my profile.