I originally posted this as a newbie and it was removed by AutoMod, so I’m reposting.
One of the bad ideas that I used embrace and something that held me back from having successful relationships with women in my Blue Pill days was the idea that to have a good romantic relationship, your girlfriend had to be your best friend.
Now that I’m Red Pill aware, I realize just how bad that advice is. If you Google [“Marry Your Best Friend”]( https://www.google.com/search?q=marry+your+best+friend&oq=marry+your+best+friend&aqs=chrome..69i57.4631j0j1&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8) or [“My Girlfriend is My Best Friend”]( https://www.google.com/search?q=dread+game&oq=dread+game&aqs=chrome..69i57.2335j0j1&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8#q=my+girlfriend+is+my+best+friend), you’ll see just how pervasive this advice is and why so many men would buy into this.
On the surface it kind of makes sense. Why not be really good friends with the woman who you will spend so much of your time with?
The reason why this is such bad advice is that it comes from the perspective of women, who don’t have a rational understanding of the true nature of their relationship with men.
To women, a friend is someone who understands them, will listen to their problems and invest in them emotionally without an expectation of performance. Can a man appear to do this for a woman and still have a good relationship? Sure. A man with game who understands female emotions can give the appearance, from a woman’s perspective, of being her friend. The problem is, from a man’s perspective, a woman he’s fucking can never be a true friend to him.
Sex is about domination, where a female submits her body to a man she deems superior in some way. Male friendship is about a relationship of equals. We bond with guys we respect or even look up to. When men try to befriend women the same way we do other men, we end up placing women in an equal or superior position, which ultimately jeopardizes the dominant position that’s so critical to maintaining good sexual relationships with women.
Being a friend to your woman in the same way you would a man can also absolve her of the expectation of performance and reduce the sexual tension that leads to attraction. If you treat her the same way you would a friend, it’s tougher to run dread game or impose radio silence when she misbehaves. The boundaries that are critical to maintaining a good relationship are harder to impose and enforce if she’s your “friend”.
Do women I’m with express the desire to be friends? Sure. I used to take that to mean that I should treat the women I wanted to be with in sexual relationships as equals, like my male friends. After being cheated on and disrespected a few times, I reevaluated my position and changed my approach.
Now, being "friends" with a woman means we can share interests and have a good time together, she can accompany me to activities that I enjoy and I’ll listen to a few of her problems while I’m lying in bed resting after sex. She perceives that I’m a good friend because of the way I make her feel. I grasp the reality, however, that she’s my woman, not my equal, and she definitely cannot be my friend in the same way a man would be.
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RPmatrix 8y ago
have you ever been in an LTR with a great woman OP?
Cptn_Jib 8y ago
While it is definitely less sexual to be friends with a woman you are dating it also makes being around her more fun (as long as you both aren't too serious)
prf_q 8y ago
Not a brand new content I believe. I remember reading this in TRP handbook, thanks for reposting.
Slamminsammm 8y ago
You all might verbally assault me for this, but I believe that if you show a woman why she does the things she does, she will realize that you are indeed superior to her and she'll also respect you and allow you to be vulnerable with her. Being vulnerable with a woman usually ends in you being cheated on or disrespected because she doesn't understand that you showing emotions will make her want to leave. But after explaining why she'll want to leave if you open up to her, she will likely see how subjective her entire reality is. Following her realizing that her entire life's reality is subjective brings her to fall into whatever you tell her reality is.
So basically, feed her the red pill by showing her that her entire life is a subjective reality. Then show her whatever objective reality you think will work out best for you. She'll fall into it if you're a strong male.
StoicCrane 8y ago
Friendships are usually formed in the aims of mutual benefit. Men befriend one another for a shared sense of comraderie, to exchange perspectives and mutual experience, among a skew if various other reasons.
Women befriendone another to gossip (break down others through verbal negativity to feel good about themselves), make each other seem sexually valuable in the eyes of men (the fat, hot chick example above is perfect), and emotionally vent to one another as a client would to a psychiatrist.
Fundamentally male and female friendships embody diametrically opposite functions in their nature. When women are friends with men they use the respective male as emotional toilet paper to wipe her insecurities on all while making herself appear more attractive to other guys at her "friends" expense.
For men on the otherhand, aside from sex and children they have absolutely nothing to offer us that we can't acquire through our own efforts. Cooking? Stream Youtube or open a book and learn some new recipes. Cleaning? Go to a local dollar store or convenient shop and get to work! Nothing to offer besides sex and kids. Best to keep relationships simple.
TL:DR; Male friendships and female friendships serve different functions to each respective gender. Women treat male friends as they would other women. Sex and kids are the only things women can give to men, within reason. Men gain little from being in friendships with women. (EDIT: Men gain nothing from being in frienships with women to Men gain "little"..)
[deleted] 8y ago
You're taking the idea too far.
Men can benefit from friendships with women but thinking of a sexual relationship with women as needing to be an equal institution is what leads men astray.
Women don't want to fuck men they feel equal to because they know they can do better. Pussy has a higher value than schlong, which means in nature, 5-6 f-m bonds are more likely than 5-6 m-f bonds.
You can have a friendship with a woman, where you both interact as equals.
Just don't expect her to get on her knees.
StoicCrane 8y ago
Unless it's say a colleague, a relative, or expert in some various field with insights there's little point for Male/Fejale friendships. Unless one is in the closet or terribly hideous one is going to always want to bone/get boned by the other on some level.
The platonic thing although it may or might not work for one relation may offhanded impact relationships with genuine sexual prospects in terms of the behaviors learned and acquired through the platonic one.
Obviously not forsaking it completely. It's each man's choice to be actively in platonic relationships or not, however, there are more cons than pros that tend to undermine the point of them.
well-ok-then 8y ago
I have female friends that I get a lot from. They are still female; can't replace male friendships. Doesn't mean they're useless.
StoicCrane 8y ago
Edited. Folks seem to take offense to the "Men gain nothin from women" segment. There may be a few benefits but women stand to gain way more from them in the long-haul, in all fairness.
NeoreactionSafe 8y ago
Masculine polarity is matched with feminine polarity.
Men love women, women love children, children love puppies.
...so the concept of "equality" is really better understood as consciousness suppression.
By locking boys and girls into androgyny they can never achieve their potential as human beings and maximize their polarity.
The Blue Pill is a form of mental abuse that stunts mental growth.
We need to fully grasp how truly destructive this brainwashing is to us.
SecularNotLiberal 8y ago
I don't understand the bit about how if she's "your friend", you can't enforce boundaries. Do you not enforce boundaries with your friends? Personally, I think boundaries should be enforced regardless of the relationship, whether it's romantic or platonic. If you feel someone is overstepping you or being rude, be direct and call them out.
aanarchist 8y ago
i'd rather have a slave than a woman then, if she can't behave like a human being.
RMK24 8y ago
I agree with this 100%. Being "friends" with your woman to me indicates that you have become comfortable in a relationship which leads to laziness which leads to just total crap of an existence. It leads me to becoming less of myself and not being independent anymore. I am only able to be comfortable and still be myself with my male friends, because those are true long-lasting friendships. That's just the way it is for me.
cantFindValidNam 8y ago
Okay so what does this translate to in practice and how does one escape being perceived as a friend? What would be some key do's and dont's for example?
Algernoq 8y ago
"I married my best friend!" is a polite way to say "I married a beta who has no idea how slutty I was/am!"
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supergilbert 8y ago
When I broke up with my ex girlfriend, she told me "but you're my best friend!". I cringed inside and told her I wasn't, I was her boyfriend.
I was thinking she must have read in a dumb article "why your boyfriend should be your best friend" somewhere. Instinctively I hated the fact she called me her best friend.
[deleted] 8y ago
This is so important. One of the many mistakes I've made is trying to be to many things to my girlfriend all at the same time. You are her man first, with a healthy dose of paternal figure thrown it as well.
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vandaalen 8y ago
Don't try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate them.
- Al Bundy
speed3_freak 8y ago
A couple of my best friends are women, and they're awesome. They're fun to hang out with, funny as shit, and are awesome at giving fashion advice. Also, they have other women friends who they'll introduce you to.
Never be friends with a woman you have any interest in hooking up with, never do anything for them that you wouldn't do for a guy friend, and brush off any relationship or 'what women really want' advice. Follow those rules, and women can make great friends.
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
I'm not denying that there are women who are "freindable", but merely to stay on guard for ulterior motives. Men wield social power with brute force and intimidation, women wield theirs with manipulation.
TheDudeMachine 8y ago
This is very accurate.
BTW I've already got you covered on your request. Trump is a true RP man. Just look at how moist Megyn Kelly is getting now after being humiliated repeatedly on national television
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
People always get entertained with politics, but when you watch this election through a RP lens, it's amazing to watch Donald operate. Lesser men, upon Megyn Kelly spit-roasting them on national TV, would have bumbled around, stuttered, apologized, and gotten mealy-mouthed, but not Donald. He stared her down, delivered his piece, and you could practically hear the floor getting wet under her pussy.
cheeky_throwaway101 8y ago
I can only imagine you're getting down voted for the trump sign off, because the points you made were solid. Or maybe some fat ham beast (who has pretty friends) has wandered into TRP and your comments cut to her "big bones".
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remyseven 8y ago
Problem is, Trump was a funder of career politicians.
[deleted] 8y ago
Of course. That makes him a good business man. A good politician wouldn't allow themselves to be bought.
remyseven 8y ago
Trump a good business man? You don't say...
[deleted] 8y ago
Yes, which incidentally makes him the best candidate for running a country in this imperfect system of crony capitalism... he has enough money that he can't be as easily bribed. As opposed to the socratic idea of philosopher kings plato wrote about.
remyseven 8y ago
You realize he embodies crony capitalism right? All change in politics doesn't start from the top and works it's way down. It's the opposite.
[deleted] 8y ago
Yes. My point is that he's the least terrible candidate in the current system. Nobody really has the power to change things lest they end up like JFK. And even if the people did start a revolution, would we ever be able to agree on a fair method of governance? Do we even need governance? The sheeple aren't ready to answer these tough questions. So we continue to vote for the guy with the most gib-me's or political platform that aligns with our own biases ie. Keep out them dirty mexicans.
cheeky_throwaway101 8y ago
Yeah fair one dude. Keep up the good fight!
CuntyMcFagNuts69 8y ago
Relationships with women are only beneficial if you're getting the better end of the deal. My girlfriend is my girlfriend, I probably wouldn't enjoy her company if we were not fucking
MeatCurtainRod 8y ago
Ya I absolutely hate how some guys say "i married my best friend". No you fucking didn't! Men can't be friends with women. Men certainly can't be best friends with women. That is only cute when the man and women are 2 year olds sleeping in the same crib.
[deleted] 8y ago
I cannot agree with this anymore. The thing I cannot wrap my mind around is, why would I need her to be my friend? There is a deeper problem, and stems from the fact that too many men do not have any good male companions.
Some women will literally try to tear good friendships apart. My best friend of many years has had a few girlfriends, and they all hated me. "You know (friend's name), he just wants you to himself, blah blah blah." Because they know I am his anchor into reality, that she is just another replaceable bitch. Now, I say some girls, but not all. There are girls I have dated who love what a great friend I have. But, they are feminine and instinctively understand the importance of male bonding.
Again, great post.
Polaris382 8y ago
"The thing I cannot wrap my mind around is, why would I need her to be my friend?"
Its not about needing, but if you dont share some common interests, she has some actual substance as a person, and can enjoy her company beyond sexually then what's the point of being with her? Women who have next to 0 to offer other than their vagina just arent really worth the time anymore, in my opinion. I know a lot of people feel differently though.
Obviously they can never replace a good male friend though, in regards to friendship, and I do agree that its a mistake to think otherwise.
winterequinox007 8y ago
You never really know where to draw the line when it comes to women. Would you rather treat them as a friend, and lose the respect and domination that comes with a relationship? Treating a woman like your equal in a relationship, BUT not knowing the fallacy that they will lose respect and attraction once you become a walkover is the true relationship killer.
Entropy-7 8y ago
The basic reason why "I want my (bf/gf) to be my best friend" is nonsense is because your best friend is the person you complain to about your bf/gf.
adam-l Endorsed Contributor 8y ago
Also, a friend is someone who is really glad you banged that new hot girl. Would your woman ever do that?
whuttupfoo 8y ago
You shouldn't even be complaining to anyone about your gf. That's very weak minded. You should be able to handle these kinds of issues on your own.
aDrunkenWhaler 8y ago
Complaining is not the same as whinning. We're human, sometimes we need to vent and that's what good friends are for. But you are right though.
Entropy-7 8y ago
Half of the posts on this subreddit start out as complaints about the behavior and mind processes of women: do you think the poster's analysis and suggestions come totally from their own mind? I think most of the bad ones do.
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savedarticles 8y ago
amen. it's amazing how fickle they are. I've been ghosted out of nowhere. they will drop you and find next Chad quicker then rotating the tires on your car. this is a truth that needs to be experienced to believe. I think only money can keep them. great relationship, great sex is a dime a dozen these days. there's always a Chad honing his skill. there's always some Russian rowing beast ready to come out of nowhere and ruin your Olympic dreams.
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darkrood 8y ago
So those Redpill men that have lasting marriages just got lucky?!!!
thewrightstuff88 8y ago
There is no such thing as relationship equity.
[deleted] 8y ago
Among male friendship there is. For instance, if a longtime good friend of mine starts to become a shittier friend for some reason (most time because of a woman in his life believe it or not) I will give him much more time and chances to correct his behavior than some guy I've been chilling with for a few months.
Same as if I bought a case of beer a week ago, this time Jonny will get it. Male relationship equity is the main thing that differentiates them from relationships between women. It's a part of this thing called honor.
acetylcysteine 8y ago
amen brother. tingles disappeared in my last ltr 5 years in. tried to salvage, it was hopeless- now i understand why.
fanthor 8y ago
yep, once the tingles are gone, its gone.
Ironically not trying is the only way to salvage it.
mojo_juju 8y ago
Recently left a room mate situation. Had two female roomates, both in mid-30s.
One had a teen male child, let's call her M (since she's a mother). The other was basically a grown up child, C (since she's basically a child in terms of mentality).
TLDR: Women will take advantage of eachother as quickly as they'll take advantage of men. If you let them, they'll take all and give none. No loyalty, no conscience.
M constantly let C walk all over her and determine the living situation, even though M had the lease and C had only been living there a few months.
Turns out C had been living in her boyfriend's house (rent free, likely) and needed a place to stay when they broke up. Who did she turn to? M, who was her childhood friend. They hadn't spoke for years until they reunited at a party. C needed a place to stay, so M let her move in.
Once I was introduced to the situation, I made it clear that I wasn't going to be bossed around by C-- who is a feminist, artist, superficial, dishonest, and immature. She didn't like that she couldn't walk all over me.
I talked to M on the side, and let her know, "Hey, don't let C walk all over you. Communicate with her and don't bottle up all your discontent inside." Soon, M changed to talk to C more and more about how she felt uncomfortable with various aspects of C's dominating their relationship/living situation.
Eventually, C began to be simultaneously attracted to me and annoyed by me/have hatred for me b/c I wouldn't take her shit.
C made M make all these changes to their living situation... but eventually showed that she wasn't committed to living there or even maintaining their friendship.
M basically bent over backwards to let C, the manipulative machiavellian immature feminist, live at her appartment... and in the end, C had no loyalty to their friendship. She was only interested in taking as much advantage of the situation as possible.
It really showed me that women have no real friendships or loyalty with each other. "take full advantage of the situation, me-me-me, I am the center, I must take all I can and not give back" was C's modus operandi, as it is with so many women.
M is actually a mom, has a child, is pretty mature... and was decent to live with. And she felt the same way about C as I did. Anyways... it just went to show me that women aren't even each others' friends generally.
RedPillDad 8y ago
Sounds like C stood for complete cunt in this case. Gynocentric social dynamics encourage cunting for attention and profit. And since nobody is willing to call them out on their shit, their cuntiness grows.
Men can make great friends to women because they are loyal, supportive, etc. But what does your basic bitch give back beyond sex? If men weren't so pussy-starved, utlility-oriented and prone to rescuing damsels, they wouldn't bother befriending these needy, fucked-up, back-stabbing losers.
KhazarKhaganate 8y ago
M proves OP wrong. M also proves you wrong when you said that women don't care about loyalty or friendship.
Just by this, we can see that. M is a good person, a mature women.
Yes mature women are rare... But they exist.
Undoubtedly, M may be someone who didn't rely on her beauty to find her place in society. Undoubtedly, C is probably hot, so narcissism and sociopath tendencies (the machiavellian manipulation you're seeing) have naturally developed somewhat (although to what degree only you and M would know).
You can be friends with women and even ones with sexual relationship. The issue is also being able to do the things that make you alpha and RP. Being able to use the tactics, even things like dread game and radio silence TO your best friend & sexual partner.
This is not bullshit. I've used these strategies (except dread game because obviously there is no sexual relationship here) on MALE BEST friends. It works almost universally. It even works in corporate environments.
But again, you can be good friends with your sexual partner. The issue is, balancing it. You can't just commit and invest everything in her. You do have to dominate.
Have you never had to dominate your best male friends as an alpha? Sometimes you have to push them to make choices.
We can see a lot of TRP at work in nature, with wolf packs. The alpha wolf doesn't treat men and women differently. He bangs and dominates the women, answers challenges against his leadership, gangbangs the men who betray him (or was it ambush the male wolves... anyway point is, he probably has best friends and good friends too, and there are probably good friends among the women wolves too and now I'm off on a weird tangent)
mojo_juju 8y ago
Great points.
You're right. C is relatively attractive (with makeup). M less so.
M is also more mature, but not much more so.
M = highschool grad. C = college grad.
I consider both to be immature, to be honest, just in different ways.
C is also hardcore feminist b/c of deeply rooted misandry she feels for at least a couple reasons.
C was playing alpha female in a subtle, unspoken way until I arrived. M was playing beta.
When I arrived, I let M know "hey, express yourself, stop being overly nice and stop letting yourself get walked over." She changed and became more expressive of her needs. It was awesome. C began to be less of a cunt, after a period of adjustment that is, during which time she was quite a bitch to me.
Then she realized that people in the house were as loyal to her as she was to them: not at all. And suddenly her tune changed and she became nicer, once she realized I had shifted the balance of the house upon recognizing her immaturity.
KhazarKhaganate 8y ago
Did C ever make a move on you ?
NiceKicksGabe 8y ago
Women don't make good friends anyway. A guy friend will play basketball with you, go grab a beer, if shit goes down, he'll jump in and fight alongside you, when you need help moving, guy friend to the rescue. Woman friend. Will she help do your laundry? Or cook for you? Would she even buy you a drink? You probably have to watch over her if y'all go out drinking. Help move? Yeah right.
Don't get me wrong, for the most part, I loved having my girlfriend be my best friend, but there was some shit about me that I should have worked on before we got together that made her lose respect for me. AND we spent to much damn time together.
GC0W30 8y ago
If a chick is really a legit friend who has your back, is genuinely fun to talk to, doesn't try to use her, don't fuck her.
You just found a gem... a friend. As you get older, making new friends who aren't parasites or problems somehow gets harder and harder.
Friends can last a lifetime, relationships usually can't make it to 90 days. Leave that vagina alone.
dr3dio 8y ago
Good advice. I befriended my friend's ex because she was cool and interesting (no bad blood between them), once you make it clear that your not interested you can definitely maintain a friendship like she is just another guy but with the added benefit that she has a TON of girlfriends I get to meet whenever she has a party/get-together. I've already hooked up with one of her friends.
RedPillDad 8y ago
Good advice. Safer to keep friendable and fuckable seperate.
aDrunkenWhaler 8y ago
So what you are saying is to have her as your orbiter, right? Otherwise, why would she bother putting all that time and effort? She could get her own orbiter and get plenty more than you can give her with minimum effort. Having a women orbiter is ok but eventually the bubble will burst and there will be drama.
Kingspot 8y ago
you know you can be actually have a female friend...right?
GC0W30 8y ago
I have one, and we share thoughts, feelings and experiences. I meet her friends, make friends through her, get advice, etc.
When we eat together, she never asks me to pay.
She is so rare, though. 99% of women would not do what she does for me without trying to exploit me. I realize this.
If it blows up, that is okay. The friendship has been good for me for a year, and if it sours I can end it in minutes.
Toxicbutt 8y ago
Women are good for preselection. That's about it folks.
AmazingMalice 8y ago
Very good piece. 100% agreed.
TRP_Lee_zard 8y ago
I noticed after one evening with my LTR (that she named: the best talk we ever had...) what it means for her to "talk" and to be friends.
All I did during this time was "uhm" and as experiment I didn't say the usual "I understand" but rather "thats tough", "can't imagine" etc.
What I noticed from this was: Friend to a woman is someone that tries to connect with her emotionally But even better if the person is showing that although listening it is "hard to understand" - this allows her to feel special in her world of feels (how can you understand what I feel... bullshit is dismissed) Additionally it gives impression that you care, when you don't even have to listen.
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whodidyawhat 8y ago
DNA... It's a bit more tech than that champ. Your reality isn't scientific fact. Maybe you should extricate yourself from the Stone Age Tarzan. Look it up. Dr Karl Kruszelnicki would be a good place to start.. It's about evolution not competition.
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whodidyawhat 8y ago
that's how I talk mate. I write how I talk. But I guess from that comment you don't have anything of substance to add. You really should look him up though. Might learn something
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whodidyawhat 8y ago
I'm sure you will champ. I wait with baited breathe for the completely non bias knowledge your about to drop on me. I'm sure your sources will be credible. Fox, daily mail, men's health hahaha why would I look at what you present me if you don't offer the same courtesy. Not how life works champ