Summary:

For as many posts as there are attempting to explain what frame is, people are still asking for clarification about what it really means, or saying that they're still trying to understand it, or that they're halfway there. Guys use easily digestible lines such as "Sticking to your guns", "Acting from your center", "The lens through which you see the world" and "Integrity". While all of them make sense when the concept itself has already clicked in your mind and you've gotten it, they don't by themselves provide a solid understanding to someone who's never encountered the term before, or someone who has but still has no idea what it means. This is a model that breaks down the concept of frame to a more physical level, that focuses mainly on us being human beings using sounds and gestures to communicate, that leaves out as many abstractions as possible in order to keep the focus on what is "really" going on and not on "imagine that there's a bubble enveloping every person, that bubble is your frame...", or "imagine you have a frame infront of you, a square, wooden frame...". Frame is a simple concept and imaginary bubbles are imaginary.

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Body:

Frame is YOU. That is the most accurate description that I've encountered, but it does nothing to explain it to someone who doesn't understand the idea of frame. To those who repeat that phrase, it's obvious that frame = you.

"You" are a collection of things. The aim isn't to get into the metaphysics or ontology of what you are, or aren't. By "you", what I mean here, is your "self". Call it your personality, your ego, or the man behind the eyes. It's a set of beliefs, views, opinions, desires, decisions, focuses, actions, that are accompanied by emotions. THAT is clearly what "YOU" are, you can probably accept that, and that is what "FRAME" means.

The reason why the concept of frame is important, is that the concept of holding frame is important. Holding frame means that YOU do not change due to external (or internal) influence, and most importanty, the parts of YOU that are relevant in a given context do not change due to external (or internal) influence. Having a "strong frame" is a frame that holds well against external (or internal) influence, as you might've already figured. The importance of Holding Frame, is the power / dominance / decisiveness / focus / salesmanship / sexual attractiveness / whatever, that it projects. It's simply your power, the power that YOU have. You're not a leaf in the wind, but an agent, a being that maintains its form.

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Examples:

  1. A dude is staring at you on the street. You stare back. After a 4 second staring contest, one of the participants looks away -- he broke frame. His intention was to keep staring in order to prove his worth as a man. He failed to stick to his action and intention, while the other succeeded in the same endeavour, the latter being the external influence that broke the loser's frame.
  2. You approach a hoe and begin talking in a normal, friendly tone. She acts aloof and bitchy, venting about how horrible life is and by her tone implying that it's your fault. You maintain your friendly tone as if you didn't notice her bitchiness. A few seconds pass, and she softens her tone, almost as if she's embarrassed for having behaved like a cunt. She sensed your strong, unrelenting personality / frame, and is now following your conversational lead.
  3. A girl thinks that she can trick you into falsely confessing to something by accusing you of calling women "fat pigs", to which you respond: "Just your mom". You agreed to & amplified (maybe agree & specify is more accurate) her accusation, showing that you proudly own the description that you had made about her mother. She can't help but giggle, because your strength of frame i.e. self, is unshaken by her lies and she understands that she'll have to work harder to break you. Hypergamy is UP -- we as humans, innately perceive hierarchical standing / status / power. If you're above her, she'll begin to play with her hair.
  4. When debating with ugly feminists about women's subpar mathematical ability (example taken from sidebar's Frame post), and the feminists begin to try to divert the discussion by calling you a misogynist. You smirk at them, perhaps make a joke out of it "I forgot that we're in an American university, I apologize for speaking the truth, anyway...", and you stay on topic! Your frame in the debate is of course to argue for the fact that women suck at math, or whatever else out of the plethora of things that they suck at. That is your intention and your focus in the debate, which are parts of YOU. You maintain those when confronted with their attempts to shame you. Your emotional state is of course also unbroken, if anything, it's now more positive, by virtue of your opponents' entertaining predictability. Your emotions are obviously also a part of YOU. YOU remained intact i.e. you held frame. YOU didn't break, YOU didn't change in the face of external influence. This shows your unbreakable nature, your power. They'll dig their own graves by never addressing any of the points while you calmly prove your point. Your unshakeable frame will also convert your lesbian opponents to heterosexuality.
  5. If you have an arrogant dickhead professor whom you approach with a question and he mockingly jabs at you while kinda answering your question. Your feelings aren't affected by his condescension. You might smirk or even keep a stoneface and go "yeah, so do you know the answer?". He couldn't get to you, you didn't react. Your intention was to get an answer to X, your action of asking him for help followed from that intention, those are parts of YOU, and you held that frame when he tried to AMOG you, unaffected by his ancient ass, YOU remained unchanged. He'll see you as powerful, as unmovable, as an impossible target for his psychological sadism, because you are, because YOU are.
  6. A common example would be a pickup scenario, where you'll often be told to keep in mind the simple attitude of I'm the prize. That is your frame in that situation, for all intents and purposes, that is YOU in that situation; it is the internal storyline that stems from your belief (I'm the prize), your words (cocky banter), your confidence (smirk, and so on), or whatever, and those are all parts of YOU. Again, those things are factors that make up YOU. When shit-tested, you retain your prize mentality and hence respond accordingly. YOU are the prize and you maintain that attitude in the face of external influence. YOU don't break, you stay intact. You hold you -- you hold frame. If you can hold your frame i.e. keep YOU intact, as she's fighting to break you, get you to supplicate, apologize, or buy her a drink, then attraction will be created. YOU remained YOU as she tried to change you.

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With regard to that last example; 'frame' is often used to refer to a particular perspective -- to a frame. Like I'm the prize. An internal storyline, narrative, a belief. One's personal interpretation of reality. That's a valid definition, but frame is still YOU. Your beliefs and inner monologues are obviously parts of YOU. You present that frame and hold it; I'm the prize, while she presents her own frame, I'm a bitch, and now your frames fight. In that scenario, that frame, I'm the prize, IS YOU, while her frame, I'm a bitch, IS HER; you're the prize and she's a bitch. Keep that frame i.e. YOU intact for long enough, and she'll yield and accept that you're the prize, meaning that her frame broke, that SHE broke, and that she's now reacting to you, while you're not reacting to her. That is the entire concept, period.

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"Being unreactive". It's the same thing as holding frame. You act, you don't react. Your frame remains intact when confronted with external (or internal) influence. Your path doesn't change. Your intentions, desires, actions and emotions are maintained when faced with obstacles. They can be internal as well, such as doubt. You act from your center and do what you're supposed to do, deep down. You don't sit there passively waiting to be led by external forces. YOU, that is your beliefs, opinions, decisions and so forth, aren't changed by someone else. You bring your prize mentality, she brings her bitch mentality, you don't yield, eventually she does. SHE reacts to YOU.

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The term "the lens through which you see the world" refers to your personal interpretation of facts. You choose what you take in and what you ignore. If for instance you are condescendingly told that genius can look like crazy to stupid people, you thank them for sharing their experience... the notion of you being dumb and not a genius doesn't register in your mind, because the notion that you are indeed a genius does not change due to external (or internal) influence. That is the frame that you bring to the table -- I'm a genius. That is your interpretation of reality, the 'lens through which you see the world', it's a frame, yet, that is still YOU. That is the part of YOU that is relevant in that situation. Frame is YOU, it is your SELF. Not changing it/you when confronted, is what Holding Frame means.

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Look at Corey Worthington (or read Rollo's article about him). He didn't bat an eye when being shit-tested by a MILF on national television. The more he disrespected her formal authority by remaining intact in his self, the greater the ego investment of the reporter became and the harder she fought to break him (and the more lubricant she produced).

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The entirety of one's socially perceived power is one's ability to hold frame (sure, aside from money, titles, physique and quality of frame(explained further below in this paragraph) etc). You know that person who might be a low IQ motherfucker, but whose aloof arrogance frustrates you and grows stronger the more you attempt to reason with them. Of course, their power will never be on the level of someone with equally strong frame, who's actually intelligent, but that's life, a dwarf will never be as imposing as his undeformed counterpart, not all frames i.e. persons, are of the same quality, but the strength of frame always maximizes power.

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Frame is you, it is your self. The more (contextually relevant) parts of it that you keep intact when faced with external (or internal) influence, the stronger your overall frame, i.e. the better you are holding it.

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Now, does this mean that every time you answer someone's question, you are breaking frame? Yes and No. It depends. The following is in the definition: "... the parts of YOU that are RELEVANT in a given context". Hence, by this definition, the answer is No. There's a hierarchy of the factors that constitute you / your frame / your self. Your emotional state remaining positive so that you can focus on staying on topic and not take their baits and fight on their battlefield, is obviously more important than refusing to retort your opponent's arguments, in a debate... because waiting for your turn to speak is reactive, bro. Remaining confident and indifferent when gaming a shit-testing bitch, is obviously a more relevant part of frame holding (more important part of YOU to keep intact), than refusing to make out with her when she initiates, eventhough making out with her when she goes in for a makeout, would technically be breaking frame, iff the definition of holding frame didn't include "...the parts of YOU that are relevant...", since it'd be changing YOU (state of NOT making out) because of something that SHE does (into state of making out). And you would counter that with "but what if it was in my interest to make out with her when she initiated?", and it is, of course, and dude, you get the point. Frame is YOU -- the parts of you that are relevant in a given context; your frame i.e. YOU won't be viewed as weak for cooperating as long as it's in your own best interest, or for answering your dad when he asks you how you've been, or for extending your hand when your new potential boss offers to shake it before a job interview... RELEVANT parts of YOU. We could define Holding Frame as "not changing YOU because of external (or internal) influence". But then, every time you reacted i.e. changed YOU, in anyway, to anyone or anything, would be breaking frame.

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... It's quite clear what parts of YOU are important to keep intact in any given situation; for example, when shit-tested, you hold frame by A&Aing or whatever, to show that you neither agree with nor care about the accusation, you don't react emotionally by defending yourself, or, you A&A in a way that shows that you DO agree with the accusation and that you're proud of it. Emotional state is almost always relevant, as is focus, with regard to appearing strong in your SELF, to having strong frame. Intentions shouldn't be broken by another's stronger will, I mean, if you deviate from doing what you want to do and follow another, that's weak, obviously, OTOH, if there's a tweak to be made that will benefit both parties, that's called being smart. Common sense, don't be weak, but don't be a retard either. Ask yourself which parts of YOU are RELEVANT to maintain in X situation, in order to appear powerful / strong (I don't necessarily mean powerful as in having authority over others, but personal power, power over yourself; that translates to external control. You can't have absolute control over others, only over yourself, and when you have great control over yourself i.e. a strong frame i.e. an unbreakable SELF, people will perceive you as strong and in many cases see you as an authority). Read the examples above and think about how our imaginary YOU would be perceived if you failed to hold frame and fell into the others' frames.

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Like if someone proves one of your points wrong or corrects you, which seems more powerful; thanking them for the contribution and seeming unmoved, or getting loud and spouting retardation at them in an attempt to not seem as if parts of your self (beliefs, opinions, whatever) changed because of something they said, while everyone looking knows that he's right and you're wrong? Of course, with the dwarf and the low IQ motherfucker in mind, I urge you to think before you speak to minimize the errors that you make, because it's better to be smart than to be dumb, to be right than to be wrong. Still, ask yourself, what is relevant in a given context? Then keep THAT intact.

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Now, one could say that being a reactive, emotional pussy is holding frame, as long as one does so by choice and is consistent with it. Having "better to be smart than dumb" in mind, use common sense and reject this notion. Not everyone is equal, i.e. not every self / frame is equal. There is also an inherent, obvious contradiction in that scenario; consistently being reactive and not allowing external influence to change that property of YOU, is still being reactive i.e. letting external influence change properties in YOU. Some are better than others. And again, there's a hierarchy of importance wrt the parts that together make up your frame, as explained both above and below.

... holding frame / holding YOU intact, is good as long as YOU consist of powerful traits. Don't insist on being a slave to a woman, because the more you do that, or in other words, the more you hold your frame when your frame is I'm-your-slave, the more disgusted she will be. As long as your traits are powerful, holding them intact when tested, is a good thing. Only the powerful parts of YOU can ever be relevant in any context, and among them is a hierarchy dependent on the context.

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Frame is YOU. It's your SELF. When your frame is strong, you will not be reactive, but active. Your focus, intentions and emotional state will not be broken by attacks. You will stay on topic and not justify your position, you will laugh at their idiocy and not get triggered, you will twist their accusations and make fun of them instead of accepting the accusation as the platform that you're obligated to operate on. You'll transcend the earthly context and become a god.

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TL;DR (I highly recommend reading the whole thing, slowly and mindfully)

There are no wooden frames through which you see the world, no imaginary bubbles in which you exist that, if stronger than the bubbles of other people, will break their bubbles and suck those people in. There are only persons interacting. There is only YOU. So no need to complicate it. This is what we're talking about, at the most fundamental level that can be described; people interacting. Frame is YOU. YOU are your beliefs, thoughts, desires, decisions, focuses, attitudes, emotions, actions and words. When you are able to keep those things intact, i.e. yourself intact when tested, you are Holding Frame, meaning that you are keeping yourself intact, or the parts of yourself that are relevant in a given context, intact. Such as eye-contact in a staredown, tone of voice and amused masculine state of mind in an interaction with a bitchy bitch, confidence and calm in a battle of wits, or ignoring ad hominems and staying on topic in a debate. Or a calm demeanour and good posture in a 50-second k-close with a bitchy woman, or your assumed leadership role and abundance mentality in a 50-year marriage (I said 'relevant parts of YOU in a given context', since something like your faith in Satan might not be relevant in the 50-second k-close, whereas your flirty choice of words would be). Holding frame is a sign of power. If your focus, decisions and feelings can't be rattled, you are obviously powerful. Power and hierarchy are innately understood by us. That's why you hold your ground when a dog postures. That's why a hurt child curls his lip and holds his tears; he acts unprovoked, because being unreactive, unchanged, is powerful. That's why you don't back down from your outrageous claim when a woman shit-tests you about it, because that would be weak, and weakness is unattractive, whereas power is attractive. As you can probably guess, truly not GAF, feeling jolly and having a high opinion of yourself, will handle most of your frame holding; when those parts of YOU are good and unbreakable, the other parts of YOU will often follow. Strength of frame is one's level of Alpha, one's strength, one's power over oneself. Testosterone creates confidence and euphoria. I mean, connect the dots. The pieces fall into place.

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You might now conclude that this concept is extremely simple, and you'd be right. It's nothing new, it's nothing that you didn't already comprehend since you were old enough to speak. You might now also understand why working out, approaching and in other ways bettering yourself are so highly valued here.

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If you still don't get it, read the post again. If you disagree with it, you've misunderstood.