TL:DR - Getting into the specifics of what an abundance mentality is about and how it works at a fundamental level. Your point of origin must be based in joy and abundance for it to manifest - what you do will then reinforce abundance. If that point is inherently needy, everything you do will only reinforce your problem.

A breakup or rejection isn't nearly the worst thing that can happen to you. Try looking at the homeless man on the road, the guy who's getting divorce raped and the guy who grew up in a very abusive environment or the guy who doesn't know where his next meal is.

It'll snap you out of it. Get out your head and emotions for a while and look around. It'll teach you gratitude as a way of being. That'll keep you grounded.

You might think it's the other person, but really all this emotional high is self generated by your own biochemistry the whole time. Your body needed a girl for it, so it starts thinking of her as the drug it needs (note that the body feels while the mind thinks). But really, it cooked up that whole cocktail on its own. No one really fiddles with your biochemistry. They just give it an opportunity. Everything you think of as love or depression is all in your chemical cocktail drip. Really, you did this to yourself. Ok, it happened subconsciously, because nature designed your body and mind in a way to perpetuate life at any cost, but if you want to take the first step to abundance, you need to own it.

And to an extent that you will have difficulty believing it, that high is really in your hands than anyone else's. Lifting, diet, mindful awareness and meditation will help you stay conscious of this without getting sucked into it and bring stability to your system.

This doesn't mean we don't have needs, to deny them is foolish, what abundance really means is that "As a man, only you are responsible for meeting your needs - others may be passengers to share the journey, but only you must be in the driver's seat." As a boy, you learnt and internalized dependency one way or another for years. But as a man, you need to put everything in it's proper place and move on to independence, then abundance. This is cultivated. A raw man is like soil, with a lot of bullshit. It's his job to turn bullshit into manure and turn soil into fertile crop.

If you can move on from dependency to abundance, the very way you look at relationships will change. Virtually all relationships are just about squeezing something out of the other person, so they're all fucked up without abundance. It's only a matter of when and how. That's where feminism on a side note has utterly failed - you will see "strong, independent women", but never an "abundant woman". I've never seen any one of them write about how they're a joy to be around. All of them are just concealing pain and afraid of getting hurt underneath that mask, or too stuck in their own needy, solipsistic egos. The ego inside us is inherently needy because it's cut off from life and is stuck in its own head and feels. The bigger that ego grows, the more fucked up it becomes, the more needy and addicted it gets. You'll see that mental illnesses and big egos are essentially inseparable partners. If the ego gets too big and too needy, you WILL become sick. It's why so many posts recently are all about mental illnesses.

The ego is thoughts, emotions and sensations. And it's very underlying characteristic is a sense of incompleteness that it tries to compensate through neediness and dependency, but not abundance. And this is precisely why the ego fails to get the fulfillment it seeks.

In today's BP society, we talk too much about the ecstasy without the strength to handle or keep yourself stable. Strength (physical, emotional and mental) should always come before any ecstasy because it is the foundation of life - it is the most important thing. The day someone else becomes responsible for your strength is when you're fucked up. Strength is reliable and trustworthy - it'll always be there for you at all times. Strength needs to become a way of being. Look around see what is sold in the name of love - it's just an emotional hose of dependency. Romeo and Juliet is really stupid when you think about it from a viewpoint of abundance.

So the pattern is this - right from hitting puberty, one goes after a pattern of needy behaviour and emotional highs without cultivating the necessary stability within themselves, it should really be the other way around. Nothing in this world is permanent - everything and everyone comes and goes. It's only a question of how.

It's so bad you'll be considered crazy to talk about love from a point of abundance. What is that even? But it exists. And guess what? It ain't a given. Like everything masculine, it needs to be cultivated. Abundance is not natural to a way of life that is rooted in a feeling of fear, pain and incompleteness.

In Taoism, there are 2 principles in life, the sun and the moon. The moon has a lot of variety and beauty each day, but it has no light of its own. The sun's the same every day, but he's uber reliable. And he's the real light source. This analogy is in turn a description of male and female natures to a great extent. At another level they are analogues for abundance and need as well.

As you become more and more abundant, you start becoming more like the sun that others turn to for light rather than like the moon that needs someone else's. So long as there is too much moon inside you, and no sun, you will remain nihilistic. When the world has no light in it, most people get depressed. Others move on from the anger phase and start to bring their own light inside their lives. The moon is forever scared and fearful because it has no light of it's own. A moon without light becomes a black hole, a huge ego that has cut off it's own light, and now consuming everything in sight but failing because what it really needs is a sun to light it up. The sun doesn't worry if the planets aren't around because they are the ones who are going to lose. And it's big enough that even Jupiter can't do much to it.

Then many options and out of the box solutions will open up. Many things you felt you badly needed will be seen as nothing more than anesthesia to hide your inner pain and restlessness - it was all really a dopamine drip. Most of us are full of pain and restlessness that were never accepted and disposed off - spend a whole day without your TV and internet and social media, and your mind will get so restless these days that you'll know what the devil really means. This is not happiness gentlemen, it's pain, seeking stuff to numb itself. This isn't the way to deal with. Pain must be acknowledged as pain without getting sucked in to it, only then it dissolves. Only what remains after that are really needs. All else is just your moon having lost it's light, because your sun hasn't been developed as it should have.

It brings more objectivity into what your needs really are. Most needs are just stuff you either do to become better than the other guy or hide your own lack of peace. The more you feel you have to enjoy, the less joyful you become, because you are reinforcing a subconscious point of origin belief that you are empty and unhappy. Your mind will get calmer and far more focused. If you're strong and joyful, the simplest stuff that you never cared to observe (especially when you're down and angry and depressed) will now show you how significant it is.

You might ask me if enjoyment is wrong. That's not it. The problem is your point of origin of all you do. Joy and Enjoy are two different things. If there's no joy within in the first place, there is no enjoyment without. Just look at you when you're needy, in pain and depressed. The universe doesn't exist. How can you enjoy anything when depressed? When you're abundant, even the stars and the breeze are awesome. Abundance gives you strength and joy, while neediness seeks enjoyment. But the more joyful you are, the more you enjoy your life - it is not true the other way around! The more you depend on enjoyment, the more depressed you will become because your reinforce a core belief that you are unhappy and you use that to rationalize enjoyment. These are feedback loops the way they work.

Your core ideas at your point of origin are very important - because those are the ones that will come true down the road. The bottom-most belief in your mind is your frame and that will become your reality.

Outcome independence - remember the difference between a being, goal, a process and a result. A goal comes at the beginning, a process in the middle and the result at the end. Being is how you are in it is in the beginning, middle and end. Remember, you can NEVER work on a result. The result is a consequence. You never had any control over a consequence and you never will. All you can work on are yourself, your goals and the processes. Stress happens only when one is trying to control the impossible. You can never truly work on an outcome - you can only receive it and move on. Knowing this will lift a weight off your back. Counter intuitively (or not), because you focus more on the things that you can influence, your results will be better and you'll be genuinely happier.

So the most important question for you is "How should I be?" - This is the most important thing. It will decide your frame. Your whole experience of life is colored by this one question. How you accept everything that happens to you is determined by this. The other 2 questions of "What do I do?" and "How should I do it?" and "Who'll come with me?" will fall in place more easily after this because if you're abundant, you will see many opportunities and ideas that others simply never notice because they're too much in their minds and emotions to pay attention to the universe and the things greater than themselves. The most successful men in life do these things better than others. They are in fact more outcome independent than others. Frame is like a feedback loop.

Too much is spoken about results and processes, but actually the most important thing in your life is how YOU ARE. The world is crazy literally because no one can really work on results. Goals yes, process yes, products yes, people yes, but results are always a consequence. When you realize this, you will see that hooking up a hose to results is really a horrible way to live because it is an impossible way to live. It's an illusion. You can only work on your end of life.

You are the sun, and life is the moon. The nature of real life and the nature of women aren't really so different when you look at it, which is why women are primed to be attracted for criteria that ensures high value and life success in men. And as the woman goes, so does the rest of life.

This isn't an advice on techniques for getting more women, although it can translate into that as the icing on the cake - there's plenty of that - others do that far better and they have the experience to guide us in women specific issues. This however, is the basis of those techniques. The most important and only subject in your life is YOU - everything else are the objects. Without the subject, there is no one to experience the objects. This is the very basis of how you must be - this is THE CAKE. Then we can work on the processes and goals. The results will come. Even if they don't, ok, the sun has plenty of light and isn't really hooked up on life support to the stuff it can't control. Then the results when they come are accepted and the lessons are learnt. This isn't a prescription, it's just knowledge. After this the choices are yours what you want to do with your relationships.

Abundance will eventually cause that needy and painful, angry ego to heal and melt down and dissolve your limits. You become less reactive and more proactive. You find freedom within, and freedom is power. Creative energy and ideas can then find expression through you. Remember, everything that happened to make your life far better than your ancestors is because someone saw possibilities in abundance. Abundance will lead you to a high value life within, and the vibe will be picked up by people around you at a subtle level and they respond to it accordingly.

This might sound like spirituality - and it is. Actually it is my opinion that a man must necessarily be spiritual (not in the religious sense, but spirituality is basically awareness of the truths of life and living accordingly). Nothing else must occupy that sacred place within you, or else it will become unreal dependency, and the result of that...well many of you would never be here without making that mistake. Spirituality is the cake, and everything else is the icing. But counterintuitively, the more abundant you become, the more abundance will flow in to your life. The more needy you become, the unhappier you get, and the less you enjoy, and the less you will get. Abundance opens doors, neediness closes them.