Merry Christmas, you brahs! This is a post I've wanted to do for a long time now, and if I'm reviewing my old content in the neverending march toward the new year, now is as good of a time as any.

I haven't taken a look at this post for years now, after discovering that I had it saved on a random flash drive, for the very reason of looking it over, years later, and reacting to my former-self.

How beta was I?? How naturally red pilled was I?? It's almost impossible to remember as the most modern, updated version of yourself tends to overwrite your prior understanding of the world- outside of specific instances and historical examples, it all usually gets erased.

It's an interesting point in time for me, as I had found r-TheRedPill only a few days before posting (!), when there had to be under 3,000 subs (circa May 2013). I remember the hot topic of the day was "inner game vs. outer game" and finding a mission in life beyond chasing pussy- surely topics we take for granted today, but you have to remember, we were all breaking new ground together at this time.

So, without further ado, MY VERY FIRST RED PILL POST.

BBP

From Proto-Red Pill to Swallowing the Pill Whole: My Journey

Greetings fellow Red Pillers. I stumbled upon this sub-reddit only a few days ago, and since have had my mind blown several times over to the point where I’m linking my male friends to what I consider “the best thing I’ve ever seen on the Internet.”

I advise against trying to red pill your normie friends. Yes, it seems like the thing to do; Yes, it would help them- but for reasons I only partially understand, it never goes the way you think it will. I understand, I've literally been there, where you think you've uncovered a great truth about the world around you- a great, beneficial truth (this is not always the case with truth), and you want your friends to benefit... and years later, you realize that it put a tremendous strain on your friendship.

The idea of "real friends tell each other the truth" sounds nice on paper, but is often not how real life works. If your friend isn't truly ready for the red pill, chances are you'll get heavy blowback; they'll think you're some combination of retard and asshole, they'll try to sit you down and give you a blue pill lecture (I am vomit), and... perhaps the most frustrating of all, even if they buy your X and Y, Z will piss them off and they'll still hate you for it.

Do what you want, brahs, but my advice is to only attempt to red pill men who make it clear that they are ready.

Reading through the introduction, varying posts, and links to articles, I consider my prior train of thought previous to that of being “proto-Red Pill,” and feel compelled to share my journey with the community.

This is important- like the point above- if at least half of the content on TRP wasn't somewhere buried in your subconscious, or maybe amongst disorganized glimpses and flashes of your conscious understanding of the world, TRP would never have resonated with you... and you, also, would be just like the friend who loses his shit when you try to red pill him.

Growing up, I was always a very beta type of dude in regards to meeting new girls to talk to and date. What always stuck out to me, in my head, was how girls traditionally complain about guys hitting on them (evolved thoughts on this in a bit). I thought to myself, “I don’t want to be that guy!” And, of course, my teen-early 20s confidence was fragile, my social skills were juvenile, and it was an easy excuse to be very boy scout-esque in dealing with new girls. I remember a time when I had the courage to ask a girl for her phone number, which she excitedly gave me, and promptly provided her with several disclaimers like, “you don’t have to give me your number if you don’t want to! I didn’t mean to be too forward in asking! (etc.). Guess who never got anywhere with her.

Fuck! Kristen. Shit, I haven't thought about that in years. Totally could have fucked her had I not bought into the notion that male sexuality is inherently something that was an imposition to women. I was not an incel or a virgin, but I had thought that outside of sluts, girls did not like men who were too forward- girls wanted to be "made comfortable, and only fuck their boyfriends." Major blue pill programming.

Toward the middle of my 20s, I decided to take the bull by the horns and get into the best shape of my life with rigorous diet and workout. This worked out well, and I managed to date (even though my attitude was far more blue pill than red pill at this point in time).

A topic for another day, but I was much more red pilled in high school and had regressed into a blue pill shell of myself between college and my early thirties, when I bit hard on media and academic social programming-- absolute fucking poison.

I was feeling great about myself and my life, and I met a girl whom I thought was “the one.” Coming from the blue-piller, nice guy perspective, I was accepting of this girl being overweight and leading a very unfit lifestyle (constant marijuana use, and a terrible diet). I fell for her legitimately, thinking that all she needed was acceptance, unconditional love, and leadership. I did what I could to get her to lead a healthy lifestyle… but, of course, having fallen in love with her, being the blue-piller that I was, I ended up living to make her happy and gradually adopted her unhealthy lifestyle. I gained weight and lost everything I had gained in the few years prior to meeting her- I felt awful about myself. I was still deeply in love with her, and thought that maybe “all we needed was each other.” I expected her to reciprocate the unconditional love and acceptance I had showered her with for years; but as I gained weight and lost confidence, she lost respect for me and began treating me like garbage. Now I know, from having browsed this site, that this is classic, textbook hypergamy behavior. My love for her, my sacrifices I made for her happiness, my willingness to put her before myself, all meant nothing as I failed to live up to her expectations for a mate.

Reading this over is painful, but this was a classic, textbook, blue pill relationship that many men fall into and, hopefully, live to find their way out. This was my absolute, blue pill rock bottom, and my first glimpse of how men and women do not define love the same way.

I woke up one morning and told her I didn’t love her anymore (as an aside, this is the ideal way to leave a girl you are in a LTR- quick like an atomic bomb and no room to argue the point), and I never looked back. This was as invigorating as it was difficult. I realized quickly that as much as I enjoyed being in love with her (and I did), much like the fast food she needed to incessantly consume, the enjoyment I was feeling was empty and shallow. I didn’t love or respect myself when I looked in the mirror, and felt like a big fat buffoon in public. As a man getting on in years now (exiting my 20s and entering my 30s while I was with her), I realized that my back was against the wall and now was the time to make things happen for myself. The morning I woke up and left my albatross of a girlfriend, I also “woke up” and became what I would consider “proto-red pill,” or naturally red pill slanted. Here is what I learned on my own

It's truly incredible how quickly you can completely reverse your way of thinking, although, these ideas had been festering in my own subconscious dread the last year or two I was with her, but I was too defeated to act sooner.

a) Adopt a healthy, fit lifestyle and get in the best shape you can be in. Over the following months that I was single and recovering emotionally, I poured all of my energy into losing the weight I had gained with a healthy diet and rigorous cardio/weight training. I lost all the weight I had gained, and put on a good amount of muscle. This should be the immediate starting point for any beginning Red Piller (I know in the daily/weekly guide to becoming Red Pill, this is very early on). Being physically fit and muscler as a man is like having T&A for women; absolutely invaluable, and something that will set you apart from the majority of men. A key I found to the struggle to get in shape is learning to “love the fight, not the finish.” Get it in your head that there is no “finish line,” getting/staying in shape is an evolution and you should always be looking to “level up.”

"Do you even lift" is a meme for a reason. It is the starting point. Don't talk to me if you don't lift.

b) Own what you can’t change. You can look around at a bar or club and see handsome men with rock solid chins and full heads of thick, lustrous hair. While it’s true that these men have hypergamy women constantly fawning over them, and that’s very nice for them, get it in your head that IT DOESN’T MATTER. A secure, confident man will always be sexier and more desirable than a man riddled with insecurities. Always. You aren’t the best looking man, or have other less desirable qualities that aren’t easily fixable? Believe that it doesn’t matter and own it. No matter what, you’ll be better off.

This was all about me getting over losing my hair. For years, it had majorly depressed me- often to the point of tears and suicidal thoughts- and it was majorly momentous for me to realize that owning it is 100% better than any alternative.

Along these lines, another major realization for me was the understanding that, usually, you control the understanding of reality for those who are around you- a concept I now understand as "frame." Who has the stronger will to control the perception of reality- you or her?

c) Take all women off the pedestal. I don’t quite know how I did this- I used to idealize the girls I would like, be a “hopeless romantic” type with them, and, as an evolving Red Piller, you know already that this is foolish. I’m not saying that you should treat women like dirt, or disrespectfully, but date with the mindset that NO WOMEN is “too good” for you, or above what you deserve.

LOL, no. Always be disrespectful to women. Have her earn it, every step of the way. Laugh at her, mock her- always act superior.

d) Act like you don’t give a fuck. Who is the coolest guy in the room always? The guy who doesn’t give a fuck. Loss, or rejection, or your perceived weaknesses? Who cares. I’m a big combat sports fan, and I find it quite inspirational in the arena of developing Alpha sensibilities. A lesson I’ve learned from being a fan of the sport (MMA/boxing), is that the most successful of these athletes deal with a heartbreaking loss by picking up immediately and continuing to work hard and try their best the next day. There is a concept here where a massive underdog in a fight, who is essentially set up to lose, becomes wildly dangerous because this man ACTUALLY has nothing to lose- this guy can fight like he doesn’t give a fuck, he has everything to gain- and so do you, in any situation.

Always act like you have nothing to lose. Still good advice.

e) Accentuate your positives, hide your negatives. Personally, I am not for lying to a girl to get her in bed- I would much rather feel a true sense of confidence and work off of that; but at the same time, there is no law requiring you to be so completely “open and honest.” You control what she knows about you, and how she perceives you. The best piece of advice Marilyn Manson can offer you is: “If you act like a rock star, people will treat you like a rock star.”

Again, those who win have the stronger sense of reality- the stronger frame. Confidence, more than anything, is acting like you're confident.

Also, a bit of "sexual strategy is amoral" thrown in there too... as if I was beginning to understand that women don't play by the rules, so why should we?

f) Don’t be afraid to play the numbers game.

And I did.... and the sexual marketplace was far more forgiving in 2012-2013 than it is today; like, almost like a night and day difference. A month after I had ditched the girl and committed myself to ride or die, I must have messaged like 100 girls between OKCupid and Plenty of Fish, throwing everything at the wall that I could, and, the effort actually paid off in a cute redhead with big tits, who I convinced to fuck a still massively fat Bad Billy through sheer will and emerging game. Sad to say that the world changed and this is no longer possible... but what a ride it's been.

And there you have it, you brahs, my first red pill post from 2013. Some things changed, some things stayed the same- the lesson? Lift, don't try to red pill your friends, and always always always make fun of women.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and nothin' but love for MY BRAHS.

Like this post? Check out my blog - Kill to Party - and my brand new, Christmas themed post: Office Culture and “A Christmas Carol” (1843)