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- Hide Preview | 58 Comments | submitted 6 months ago by Harry_Wangs [Post Locked]

I've observed both through personal and anecdotal experience, that the advice of "sleep with many women, have many plates" to avoid oneitis is not sufficient. In fact, it can lead to even greater oneitis.

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Blue Pill Oneitist

You see, back in Blue Pill Beta days, we got Oneitis because of scarcity and because we believed the one we loved was inherently special. However, this oneitis was illogical - bred from scarcity. A blue pill beta Bob, once rejected, could easily repeat the same blue pill fantasy with the next girl.

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Alpha/Purple Pill Oneitist

Now, as a young Alpha that is slaying 1-3 girls per month (when I'm not in purposeful monk mode) and has N>10 this year while having spent months of this year in a relationship, I find I can still fall into oneitis. Except this time - oneitis has changed. Out of the numerous dates I've been on this year, women I've met and slept with, I've only found myself really connecting with 1 of them.

That's right out of all the women this year I only had a strong connection with one (no surprised, I failed with her). However, unlike in Blue Pill Days, now, I can say with certainty that this girl, this woman, truly seems more special because I've had so much experience.

This means, the more women you've been with, the stronger oneitis can become.

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However, there are some useful mindsets to aid you with this

Mindset #1 - Gratitude for Failure

Be grateful and happy that you did not succeed with your oneitis because you are not strong. Think about how fucked up your life would be if you truly followed your past oneitis (you are no longer a leader with a oneitis remember, you are a follower to the oneitis). Think about your future potential and think about the great men of this world. How many of them would achieved what they had done if they had a oneitis to satisfy their live's being? Think about how much you can use pain to push you forward, instead of being intoxicated and drowsy from the feelings of oneitis. If your ambition is to start a business that changes the world, but your oneitis wants you working a stable job, you will listen to your oneitis. Your oneitis might not be a bad person, but because you have oneitis you will become an ineffective leader for both your relationship and your life - in the end both will fail.

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Mindset #2 - Tastes Change

Your oneitis might really be the best girl for you, but that's just at this moment. Ask any married couple and they will tell you how much they and their spouse has changed over the years. Even if your oneitis doesn't become a she-devil, both you and her will change so much over the course of 10 years. This same criteria you use to evaluate women that made her your oneitis might be completely different 10 years from now.

As men on our self-improvement journey, we change more significantly than most. Along with my own change, my taste in women keeps changing. 10 years from now, the very same girl you have oneitis over could no longer be your taste. Your taste for adventurous girls/religious girls/introverted/extroverted/curvy/fit/latino all these things will likely change over time. I am so glad I did not get any of my oneitis my early years of college. They are not bad women by any means, in fact they are still great girls and would make good girlfriends/wives, but they are just completely not my taste anymore.

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Mindset #3 - Acceptance

Accept that you have oneitist and identify it as soon as possible. The more advanced you are on the Red Pill Alpha journey, the harder it is to admit that you are human and fell into oneitist. Fighting this will only make it worse. Accept that you have oneitist. Accept that you think she's special, but know it is time to move on.

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Mindset #4 - Beep, beep I'm a computer

Spend less time evaluating women, only gather data computer. You are a very simple machine. Red Pill men are generally pretty good at evaluating women and their character. We connect the dots to come to a conclusion and our conclusions are generally correct. Yet this same process makes is susceptible to flaws and creating oneitis.

When applied to a oneitis our brain makes too many conclusions that are not necessarily true. For instance, if we see a few positive interactions between her and her family, we should not say "she has a good relationship with her family and is family oriented". Instead, like a computer or a machine we should tell ourselves "I've observed 3 positive interactions, that is not enough to draw a conclusion". In data science you usually need minimum of 30 samples to understand the pattern of the data. A sample size that is can be skewed too much by outliers or small trends. While we do not need to have a minimum 30 sample size threshold to evaluate a girl's behavior, the same principle applies - we need many data points and until then, we do not need to draw ANY hard conclusion. A few data points can simply be the outlier.

*with negative behavior/traits, we do not need so much evidence. Very few instances of bad behavior = bad behavior, especially early on when she is on her best behavior.

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Conclusion

Oneitis is a hell of a drug and a disease. If these mindsets help for even a few of you on TRP, I'll be satisfied. Oneitis can destroy lives. Unfortunately, as Red Pill men, we are still human and can fall prey to this vicious disease. Sleeping with more women is not always enough - because it is all external. Having some of these useful mindsets help to cure what's inside.

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