There's a big hullabaloo of beta male bitching (the second most common front page content) about how "men are trash" posts have declined exponentially thanks to gifts being on the table. Here's something to consider....
Are you feeling like your relationship is worth it?
Great question to ask yourself. Between now and January 1st those of you "with a girl" will probably have put forth A LOT. In fact, if you're here right now you probably already know something is up. There's good news:
Breaking up is not hard.
Did any of the following things happen to you, or do you think they will?
- Gifts weren't "good enough"
- You haven't "spent enough quality time" this year
- Demands for more of your time and energy in 2019, or "we need to work on the relationship"
Put more simply, do you have any doubts that you are getting all of what you want out of your relationship(s)? If the answer is yes, then I have a mantra for you...
"I do not need to explain myself to anyone once my mind is made up."
A man does not question himself for no reason - if this post resonates with you at all YOU ARE PROBABLY RIGHT. When a man decides to end it, only two things matter:
- You have made a decision
- The decision cannot be changed
Be a broken record for 2-3 iterations, then get out of there. Nothing further to be gained.
The Moment Itself
There will be crying and begging. You will be the direct cause of her temporary unhappiness. Do not lose frame in the face of this facade - you have decided not to be responsible for her feelings any longer. That is the definition of ending an LTR.
AGAIN - End it quickly. She has plenty of other emotional support. She'll call and text and insta and facetime a shitload of them once you leave. Guaranteed.
She is their problem now.
Pestilence1911 5y ago
I seen lots of women with mentions of "uncuffing season" in their tinder bio.
Then i come here and see this...
throwawaydegar 5y ago
Nice contribution. Solid words.
About a year ago I wrote a fairly lengthy step by step for breaking up with a girl who you actually like. If anyone here is in that boat (seems to be REALLY common) check my post history for "bullet points 2".
I would link it..... But honestly, I have no idea how!
DoneScannedIt 5y ago
RTFM, man!
^((hook-line-and-sinker. nice test.))
TunedtoPerfection 5y ago
She is their problem now
​
All you have to realize.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
Think about New Year's Eve. Do you look forward to spending it with your current SO, or does the thought of that give you even a vague sense of dread? If yes, break up NOW and ring in the new year on your own terms, lest you find yourself unwilling to do it because now it's almost Valentine's Day and you don't want to fuck that up for someone else either.
Over the decades, none of the times I "delayed the inevitable" for the sake of some arbitrary thing like an upcoming holiday ever turned out to be worth it in the long run. If the relationship is circling the bowl, soldiering through a NYE or V-day or birthday won't save it, and any efforts you make to "save" another person's feelings won't be appreciated by them after the fact anyway.
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BewareTheOldMan 5y ago
This great life and relationship advice.
MatrixofLe3adership 5y ago
Always remember to stop and ask yourself, is this really what I want to do? That isn't to say be a selfish ass always, but rather a necessary step for many of us that have been long conditioned to operate outside our own frames, and put the other person (woman) first.
Howdoiusesync 5y ago
DId this exactly almost a year ago. Make the decision and do not entertain it anymore. That is it. I did that and it fucked up my head for the summer. Ironically with the holidays the same girl called me on thanks giving and so, told her not to contact me again. Adding to that irony, she has had some emotional pit falls that I am being blamed for from a common social group. It's a big lol
KeffirLime 5y ago
When it's done it's done, it's time to walk.
I spent many more months, sometimes years in relationships I should've pulled out of much much earlier, wasting both my and their time.
The uncertainty was there and I thought it would dissipate, it never, ever did.
Part of it was my blue pill delusions that relationships are "work", the other part of it is I thought they could be what they never had the potential to be.
It was good for a bit, but I was no longer deriving satisfaction out of it, no matter what they did, they simply didn't have it in them to give me the more that I wanted.
Up's and downs certainly have their place in your relationship, but there's always an overarching feeling that you want this person in your life. When that feeling is gone, it's time to move on.
gixxerthouguy 5y ago
It's not rocket science when you look at it like that. The hard thing is hurting the other person. But when you know it's not right, and when you are mentally checked out of a relationship, you have to pull the plug. The more commitment (shared house, marriage, kids) then the more pain involved. But if you know it's over - do it now. Sooner it's done, the sooner you can get the fuck on with your life. The experience you have had, and the guidance from here will help you not repeat history - hopefully.
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LLL3peat 5y ago
And those of you trying to make it work, and the hard you keep trying, the faster she will be single before or after valentine's Day and be riding other cock by march. Then it's plate season until it's time for a summer boy toy but still plate season. This is that time to put in the work, have all the fun as the other guy is complaining and trying to lock down a relationship
grewapair 5y ago
I'm 57 years old and always had a girlfriend from age 12 on.
Not one of them was worth the effort. All of them are married and I'm just glad it's not to me.
If I wasn't running around entertaining them non stop, they would have left. So I put tons of effort into it while they did almost nothing.
Gifts they bought me were all for them. A more expensive shirt so i could take them to better restaurants.
I had lots of experiences doing stuff i wouldn't have done, but none of it was that thrilling. Ask yourself the hard question: what am i getting out of this other than sex. If the answer is nothing, and for me, it always was, put nothing back in return. Trust me, they will leave, but you'll be better off.
five-acorn 5y ago
Holy shit dude. Not sure if it was 2-3 girls that occupied huge chunks of that time, but --- jesus lol.
If you've dated 20-30 girls and they all sucked/ not worth the effort, that's not "women" - it's probably you.
Maybe I'm unique in that I hardly ever commit in relationships or keep things gray, but I've never been "hen pecked" by women, I only buy gifts on my own terms (I think I've only bought one or two to be honest, EVER, for a girl I was fucking) -- coworkers were giving me huge shit recently for not giving a girl I've been seeing 3 months a gift for christmas --- well it's only been 3 months. So?
I don't get it.
I don't get henpecked because I'm not a beta. I might buy a girl I'm seeing dinner a few times (and she will return the favor) just because I don't care about nickels and dimes but eh.
As jaded as the incel fucks on here are, there's more to women than just sex/ a hole. You can get that with a Real Doll ^TM or hooker and it's not terribly satisfying.
If you've read half the posts on here, you'd realize --- uh, you don't, and shouldn't, have to "entertain" fucking anybody, including women you're fucking. Maybe you were desperate for ass but --- they should be trying to keep you interested --
Howdoiusesync 5y ago
can you explain your experience with 2 and 3 in the first section mister.
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MrFiles 5y ago
This post is GOLDEN
Thanks OP quick short and to the point.
This is man speaking that understands what a DECISION is
Once a DECISION is made there is no "changing your mind" for better or for worse. This will just damage you in the long run and condition yourself to not trust in your own decision.
You pick a road and cut out all other options that's it
Howdoiusesync 5y ago
Can someone explain the number 2 and 3 in the first section? I never heard that before but just curious what do guys experience in those cases?
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gixxerthouguy 5y ago
These are common phrases used by women in LTR's to denote some kind of issue or problem they see in the relationship. Mainly for demands on your time. Trying to make you her beta bitch.
saruin 5y ago
Fine words of wisdom, sir!
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noPTSDformePlease 5y ago
what the fuck kind of loser attitude is this
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Captain_Quick 5y ago
I call it the pity party circlejerk. It's hard to acknowledge problems without wallowing when there are so many online support groups full of people with the same problems that you have that acknowledge their problems and aren't set on improving.
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