Part One Here, mostly an introduction and backstory (tl;dr I file my divorce papers and three days later manage to secure my first number in somewhat spectacular fashion)
This is Part Two of the years-ago story of how I rescued myself from my divorce, was reminded of the enduring principles of TRP by breaking my favorite plate, but had a blast doing it. Strap in.
This is partially for entertainment, but I'll do little tl;drs in each major section to keep it TRP. Note I am half a decade out of The Game at the time of the story (and less than a week off filing my divorce papers), so this is a lesson in both success and failure.
MAIN TAKEAWAYS YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS
- How to make the date experience fun
- The importance and mechanics of constant escalation
- How to use social settings to boost your perceived SMV and build attraction with your date
Cast of Characters From Part One:
- JC - my Colombian brother from another. ♫Imagine if we never met the broskis♫
- Vanessa - That One Girl...also Colombian. You missed out on seeing what she looks like, come back for part three
6:30AM - The Aftermath
I wake up on a deck chair. I realize I'm on JC's rooftop pool. Fuck, it's breezy up here! Wait...it's cold because I'm not wearing my blazer. I realize the girl passed out next to me is wearing it. She's an ex-pro soccer player with practically no bodyfat, can't blame her for that theft. JC and the girl he pulled are passed out a few chairs over. But that's for another FR...
1:00PM - At The Outdoor Bar
We're out nursing our hangovers with the classic cure - the hair of the dog and some sunshine. Before I left, Vanessa was teasing that she would come pick me up, so I figure the best way to ask her out is to text her "I'm at [outside bar]. When are you picking me up?" We banter a bit after she denies saying it - I quickly realize we're texting too much.
So I do the unthinkable...and call her. We chat logistics quickly. Rooftop bar, 9pm-ish. Click.
What Have I Done Right So Far?
- Abundance - Stuck with my original mission and didn't drop everything for Vanessa
- Outcome Independence - Pulled the night before, so why wouldn't I be able to do it again if she didn't respond? This attitude comes through in your communication.
- Text for logistics - didn't let that drag on and shot my shot right away. Girls will literally thank you for calling them, it's that rare now.
8:30PM - The Rooftop Bar
JC suggested your stereotypical bougie hotel rooftop. I knew there'd be a wait so I came an hour early.
Pro Tip: ISOLATE. You're not going to do as well (with a date) floating in a 3-deep barside crowd as you will at a small table, especially at a nice place.
I flirted with the hostess(es) and said I wanted a particular 2-3 spots once one freed up. I got the spot I wanted - it helps to look like you know what you're doing on the first date, it's a form of preselection. She arrives and sees me right away - it's on.
We're still strangers at this point, so I start with the basics. Turns out she specializes in behavioral therapy with autistic kids! I say, "Wow Vanessa, that's perfect! You'll know how to manage me perfectly!" Keep it funny and interesting. A few $18 drinks later, it's going well....so it's time to move the venue.
- Establish yourself at the venue if you can - gelling with the staff and being "in the scene" is freebie social proof
- Move the venue regularly to keep the excitement going
11:00PM - Food Interlude
If you want to go out until 4am, you have to pad your stomach. The best way to fuck up a good night (date or no date) is getting too drunk. We walked to a casual joint nearby the club I wanted to take us to next - I told her to sit on my side of the booth. This made for easy escalation; I've got the cover of the table to feel up her legs, squeeze her ass, all the works while we wait for the food. Always Be Escalating.
I hit up JC via text - the squad is already at the club and has a table. It's time to move venues again.
12:00PM - The Club
Some fun facts: there are two ways not to pay cover as a dude. First, bring a 3:1 ratio of 7/10+ girls and be upfront with the doorman. Second, have a table. Lucky #2 for me here, so we get waved in.
We're in a mixed group, all polyglot Spanish speakers. I intro Vanessa to the group, pour two drinks from our table bottle...and turn all my attention to the dance floor and the rest of the group. This accomplishes two things: vet how Vanessa hangs in the group, get some push/pull and more social proof going, and withdraw attention for a bit.
I dance with one of the girls in the group while Vanessa jabbers with the others. Make "friends" on the dance floor, work the room, the works. After a solid hour of this, I grab Vanessa and pull her onto the dance floor. From here on out there's not much talking - dance floor makeouts, grinding, and brief breaks to the table are about it. I've got all my attention on Vanessa and we're vibing.
- If you like to party, make sure the girl gets along with your friends. If she doesn't, you are probably blind to some red flag
- For those that partake in the club, use the room to your advantage. You're a fun guy who works the room - make that visible to your accompaniment
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder - vibrant social settings are great to pull away a little. When you come back to her, get touchy and sexual because that keeps the emotional rollercoaster going.
2:30AM - Logistics Hit the Wall
I can tell Vanessa is getting tired and the club is showing no signs of cooling down. I'm having a blast but realize I need to address this issue. I pull her aside and get ready to talk logistics - how'd she get here, where does she live, and (to myself) how am I getting myself there?
Turns out the respective answers are "she drove" and "far as fuck away". Uh oh. I'm now in a bind because I hadn't thought about my closing mechanics AT ALL. I'm staying with JC who is nowhere near ready to leave.
Getting a hotel room feels desperate, I hamster to myself. Plus she'd have to move her car there! I start inventing a million reasons it's not happening tonight. This attitude creates a self fulfilling prophecy.
I walk Vanessa to her car around the block from the club. We make out heavy, my mind is racing. I call shotgun. She calls my bluff. Fuck, hail mary comes up incomplete.
I tell her I want to see her next weekend - she obliges. I tell her "we'll start at [hotel closer to where she lives], show me the best Colombian food. Saturday night is AirBNB on the beach." She gives a sly smile and tells me that she loves the plan. Partial victory, but no close. C'est la vie....but I'm feeling good about next weekend!
What Did I Do Wrong?
- No plan to close - I didn't find out until crunch time where she lived, and wasn't staying by myself. That's a lot to improv when facing LMR.
- Male hamster - I sealed by own fate by bitching out and not trying to close then and there. If she's down to be in a hotel with me all next weekend, she would've done the same right there.
- Failure to lead - I waited until she was visibly getting tired to make a move. Partially fits into "failure to plan" but I partially entered her frame when I walked her to the car.
ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF HOW TO BREAK A PLATE IN THREE MONTHS
-
The weekend at the hotel and the beach goes spectacularly
-
I start to gradually overinvest in Vanessa and develop oneitis
- It all comes crashing down when I take her to my buddy's wedding, but the mistake is a teaching opportunity so you, dear reader, don't do the same!
hard-to-swallow 5y ago
So the big-booty bad bitch that wanted to fuck you from Part 1, that you left at the bar instead, now drives "far as fuck" to come see you the next night and you... feed her and take her clubbing? The fuck? Will your next date be to a porno shoot where she volunteers to be a fluffer while you watch?
Seriously though, I get the social proof of having a table, but she's already driven to see you and is invested. If this chick is remotely hot she's likely to have the highest value men (athletes, celebs, etc) gaming her at the club. Why go in reverse and make your life more difficult when she's made it stupid easy for you?
I recently had a girl drag me to the dance floor, make out and grope my dick, drag me back to her friends at the bar, order both of us drinks, and in the 2 minutes I was gone to piss I came back to her making out with another dude (FR someday, maybe). You really wanna be in that spot or do you think you're immune? Clubs are swarming with alcohol, loud music, horniness, emotional spikes and distractions. And your version of what transpired is one of the best case scenarios.
It seems like you already learned all the other lessons (screening, logistics, etc), so I'll stop there. Kudos for having the balls to take action, share and learn from it.
KeffirLime 5y ago
Another mistake IMO is taking her to a club with friends on a first date.
Meeting friends is always an earned privilege, it also adds to the mystery around you and feeds her hamsters fantasy.
Clubs because you've already pulled her out the water, it's time to seduce, cook and eat your fish, not take her back out into the water. One on one, charm her up and close.
Clubs are logistically difficult, there's a lot going on, you can't work your magic aswell.
Its very much a how do we work going out together, are our vibes matching up, how do we look together. It's awkward as first date. It should also be an earned privilege.
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FrankCostanza111 5y ago
This sounds exhausting. I'm more of an asleep-by-midnight guy.
DrinkBeerWinPrizes 5y ago
The ppl who say its fake have no idea whats possible if you just sack up and go for it sometimes.
IAMABIASEDSCIENTIST 5y ago
Its not fake but there's a whole lot of beta bucks scattered in there. She's hot tho so I don't blame him plus if cash is disposable then go for it
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Da_RectumWrecker 5y ago
Well said. I think it's time for me to post some more drug fueled field reports. Here is a sneak peek.
My roommate and I have a catch phrase for when some crazy shit goes down, "its Miller time".
The most recent one happened 2 days ago. My roommate walked into the house with a 40 year old Puerto Rican on his arm, and I'm sitting in the living room in my underwear doing coke with a 19 year old. "It's Miller time!"
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DropDeadTyrant 5y ago
Can you teleport me into one of these situations so I can start fucking up and learning for real? I've been working out, I've been writing, I've been clearing my headspace, and nothing's happened yet. I'm really getting pissed working on myself and reading these articles. I'd love to be making the same fuck ups. I literally wouldn't mind fucking up. But, I'd like to experience it at least. Does shit like this pick up in college? Is it because I'm in the ass crack of Maryland and everyone's already established their connections through childhood? What is it?
1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 5y ago
You need to go where the people are that you want to hang and bang with...
Do you socialize? Talk to people? Talk to girls?
What do you do with your free time?
Life is 20% theory and 80% action... so just start doing it...
TheRealIsBack1 5y ago
Bro if you’re in college you are lucky. Get into organizations, events, parties, or just fucking chat a girl up in the Starbucks like. The opportunities are endless.
EtemAll 5y ago
Yes! At 18 I hated everything g I had available to me, high school was awful you don't shit where you eat or at least very rarely. I assume you're in hs. I was working 2 jobs, lifted, we'll spoken smart good looking white kid but everyone knows everyone there's just so much at risk for guys and girls and no one's got money and nobody is interesting you can't fuck up these relationships as you see them all the time but even when you went other places then it was the problem of no one knows you. Now I'm 21 I can go out and everything is just much more up in the air and free flowing. I also work my ass off and live in what is pretty much a frat house right next to campus so I stay extremely busy and I'm on multiple missions atm and girls are readily available so yah it gets way better if you're smart and work at it. You get really drunk and start realizing your actions aren't as important when it comes to people you meet you can do what you want. If i were you I would find 18+ clubs they're cheap and plenty of girls that don't have much experience either so if you suck they're usually okay with it and you just start trying stuff and get into a routine of how you approach everything if you don't have 18+ clubs I would go to concerts if you can or get a job where you talk to lots of people and start establishing a character that looks promising for the future and not too shabby for the age you're at
superyute 5y ago
are you being social whenever possible with outcome independence? if so, what is your approach "to being social", with examples.
if not, start there, and tell us how you'd go about doing so.
set your goal as: getting to know people at the base level. once youve built basic rapport, re-assess said goal based on what you've learned to see what value you can extract from this new connection. then thread from there
DaneLikeTheGreat 5y ago
Literally took ballroom dancing class last semester and fucked 3 girls in it, and still have two other plates from outside that circle. It's just like he said, go to where girls are, game the whole damn room and they come crawling. The last girl had been waiting the whole class to get to me and won the damn dance competition to get (shit you not, she showed me how hard she worked just to win to do the whole sappy how we met thing) all because I GAMED every single woman there and the befriended every guy. I even got one of the girls to dump their boyfriend's all cause I asked her to dance and he got defensive! Lol what a fucking fun semester, I'm taking ballroom 2 next semester let's see how many I can get up to lol I love college
VadimDestroyer 5y ago
Guys, what does it mean, 'establish yourself in the venue nad move the venue regurlarly ? I'm not American I don't get?'
smallpenisweirdchode 5y ago
Establish your social game. Chat up the bouncers, strike up a conversation with another group, do some dancing with a few girls, chat with some other guys, etc. Don't sit back and spend all of your attention on one target. Works by taking away your "neediness" and can also introduce some dread game.
In regards to moving venues, it's just a good idea to switch things up on a date. Sitting in one seat for 4 hours is boring. Going to 3 venues in 2 hours is more enjoyable than sitting in the same spot for the duration. Plus, it allows you to get closer and physically escalate as the night moves on.