There is a difference between Alpha traits and actually being Alpha.
Alphaness in the context of sexual strategy has little to do with Alpha traits such as confidence, status, or good looks. It is simply the execution of the masculine sexual imperative - unlimited access to unlimited sexuality, which only a small number of men will ever actualize.
Men evolved to spread their seed among as many women as possible. While an impregnated woman must wait nine months in between children, a man does not have to wait at all. This is the essence of the Alpha sex drive - the insatiable urge to impregnate one woman after another. That is why men feel compelled to get away after sex, while women want to bond. Neediness in a man is so unattractive because it is a feminine trait and the opposite of masculine sexuality.
A monogamous LTR is wholly inconsistent with the Alpha sex drive because it requires a man to curtail the very thing that makes him Alpha in the first place. It is the adoption of the Beta sexual strategy: focus and provisioning on a single woman, rather than many women.
There is no such thing as an Alpha Bucks. The Family Alpha does not exist.
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Alphaness is just as ruthless and amoral as female hypergamy. Alpha men across the spectrum - John F. Kennedy, Chairman Mao, Pablo Picasso, Tiger Woods, Albert Einstein - cheated on their wives constantly and with no remorse. The Alpha sex drive doesn't give a shit if she's a good mother or wife. It doesn't give a rat's ass if she's loyal and submissive. It doesn't care if she has dinner on the table every night. It only cares about shooting sperm into the next willing female in order to further the male's genetic lineage. Genghis Khan, reputed to have fathered hundreds of children, is the direct ancestor of 16 million men alive today. Talk about spreading your seed.
It was not the mere achievement of becoming POTUS that made men such as JFK, Lyndon Johnson, and Bill Clinton major league Alphas. They were major league Alphas because their sexual strategy involved fucking as many women as they could get their hands on. Alpha traits certainly helped them in both endeavors, but that was not what made them Alpha.
Indeed, many U.S. presidents were consummate Betas, despite displaying Alpha traits and holding the most "Alpha" job in the world. Ronald Reagan comes to mind here. Known for his looks, charisma, and effortless charm, Reagan surely embodied many Alpha traits, but he was no Alpha male. His first marriage to Jane Wyman failed due to disagreements over his political ambition and views, i.e. loss of Frame. Later he married Nancy Reagan, and by all accounts their marriage was intimate, but he was Beta as hell. Despite all of his Alpha traits and high SMV, his sentiments about his relationship ("whatever I treasure and enjoy ... all would be without meaning if I didn't have you") not only flatly contradict the notion of being Alpha, but are downright Beta.
Then there are those men who embody Alpha traits, but use Beta Game to achieve the Alpha imperative. Harvey Weinstein and Donald Trump are prime examples. Both men possess confidence, charm, and charisma. Both achieved nearly unparalleled success and status in their fields. However, they both take a purely transactional view of sex. Fucking is just another business arrangement for them. In Weinstein's case, the promise of career advancement; for Trump, provisioning and social status. That is why the Weinstein affair was so abhorrent; he overcame lack of genuine desire by negotiating desire. Still, their Alphaness cannot be denied. Both cheated on their wives incessantly in pursuit of the Alpha imperative, but they did it through Beta means.
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As Rollo himself seems to admit, a man in a monogamous LTR is a lesser Alpha, although I think that is being too generous. The moment a man commits himself to monogamy, he ceases to be Alpha. He may continue to display Alpha traits, but he is no longer Alpha - much like a dead body continues to look human for a time, without actually being human. Of course, if the man cheats or leaves the relationship, he may return to a state of Alphaness - much like water can transition between various states of being.
Nevertheless, a monogamous LTR can be desirable for other reasons. I want a monogamous relationship one day. So do many of you. There isn't anything wrong with this, but we won't be Alphas. We can't have our cake and eat it, too. Both sexes must give something up. For men, the urge to seed other women; for women, the urge to optimize hypergamy.
In the best case scenario, former Alpha men in monogamous LTRs enter a sexual gray area between Alpha and Beta. They maintain Frame and Alpha traits. They apply Dread Game - the anxiety that a woman feels when she knows that her man could revert to carrying out an Alpha sexual strategy at a moment's notice. Being Red Pilled in a LTR is basically about making the best of an inherently disadvantageous situation. A former Alpha possesses an advantage because the experience of living a life of abundance.
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A major shortcoming of TRP community is that it is too loose with the definition of "Alpha." Every guy wants to believe he is an Alpha male, so the concept of Alpha is diluted until everyone is satisfied. It is the exact same pussification that has infected much of American society. You don't have to actually be a winner in order to get a trophy, all you have to do is show up in uniform. When the topic of Alphaness gets taken to its logical conclusion, that is when men lash out with gems such as "being Alpha isn't about getting laid a lot." I'm sorry, but that is exactly what it is about. It isn't about "having fun," it's about winning.
That is why, I think, there is so much focus on Alpha traits around here. It is much easier to assume the garb of an Alpha for ego purposes rather than face uncomfortable truths about what the Alpha sexual strategy entails. Actually executing on the Alpha imperative - being Alpha - is not possible for the vast majority of men, either because they lack the ability to do so, or they have adopted the Beta sexual strategy in order to achieve another goal (e.g. the nuclear family).
If there is one disagreement I have with Rollo, whom I regard as the community's foremost intellectual, it is his apparent refusal to acknowledge this reality. His answer to the question of why he married his wife - because it seemed like a good idea at the time - strikes me as an uncharacteristic evasion of a very simple question. I think he realizes on some level that he cannot be Alpha and married, so he only addresses the topic grudgingly and in a very loosey-goosey manner.
Guys need to understand the difference between Alpha traits and the Alpha sexual strategy. They need to know why a monogamous LTR puts them at severe risk of full-on Betatization. It is clearly the source of much confusion within the Red Pill community - confusion that will prevent men from achieving and maintaining the very relationship that they desire.
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Phoenixston 5y ago
Don't believe this to be true. The male brain also releases Oxytocin following sex/orgasm, albeit in lower concentration than women. Oxytocin is the chemical in your brain responsible for pair bonding.
You're suggesting here that what makes an Alpha an Alpha is having sex with multiple women. This is the central premise of your argument, which I have to disagree with. There are objectively observable beta males who do have sex with multiple women. The statement here would suggest that they are in fact Alpha on this quality alone (if all other alpha characteristics are contingent on fucking multiple women).
You can't compare an Alpha males properly vetted LTR, who was elevated to that point with an openness/ability to have other sexual encounters, to a beta provider.
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I stopped there b/c there's just too much I disagree with. Being Alpha vs. Beta is not about characteristics (e.g. having sex w/ multiple women) or traits (e.g. Strong, leadership qualities, etc.), it's about a life perspective. Alpha males don't allow themselves to be influenced by their environment (i.e. those around them, society, etc.) and act/lead in a way that serves their best interest. Beta males are the antithesis of this. It is perfectly reasonable for an Alpha male to decide at a point in their life that they want to raise strong children to carry on their genes. Doing so successfully does require monogamy and some female influence. I get the sense that you're not at an age where you recognize that priorities can shift from sex to child-rearing, career, or anything else.
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RedHoodhandles 5y ago
Glad that I skipped to the first comment as usual. Thanks.
Thermyt 5y ago
Honestly when I came to this sub a year or two ago, it seemed comprised with a bunch of idiots like this guy. But I see most people dont seem to follow his ideology, and you are far more reasonable than anyone I expected to see on this sub. I was wrong. This sub has either changed for the better, or I just now see it differently. I may start coming back to find some actual quality posts that arent entirely composed of "In OrDeR tO BE TrUe AlPhA U musT havE SEx witH 20 woMen A weEk". Thanks for helping to change my mind
gvn777 5y ago
Could not have agreed with you more! This guy makes it out as if fucking girls is all there is to life and that it has a direct correlation with you being an alpha or not...
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Mangasbzo7 5y ago
Exactly.
If 'Alpha' could be summed up in one sentence it would be:
"Living your life entirely by your own rules".
'Beta' being the opposite to this. Simple as that, really.
dingleburry_joe 5y ago
For real why the fuck do we need to complicate this shit. Like we get these posts that observe shit from every which angle to avoid doing something. A message that states be alpha while screaming the fears that only a beta has
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
There is nothing concrete about this statement. This is exactly the wishy-washy, family-friendly Red Pill that I wish could be purged.
Alphaness is actualizing the insatiable urge to shoot sperm into many willing females. Nothing more, nothing less.
Mangasbzo7 5y ago
Young Anakin, you are still young in the force, but one day you will climb to the mountain top as others did before you
jon_murdoch 5y ago
You can be in a LTR and be alpha and make your girl know for sure that you can just flip your fingers and get plenty of willing wet pussy raining all over you. Being Alpha in a relationship is about this: Being ready to move on in a glimpse and never look back - when the girl gets that frame from her man, she will behave just like he was single. It is hard to sustain long term but doable for sure, especially for 1-2 years
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Phoenixston 5y ago
You can take a few words and ignore the provided context if you'd like.
There is nothing concrete about this statement. What do you propose is the distinction between Alpha and Beta then? So if I'm a beta who finally gets lucky or hires a prostitute, I'm now an Alpha?
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The real issue with the RedPill is the oversimplification of human psychology and social dynamics. There's a reason Rollo Tomassi and other writes have had to write multiple books on these subjects.
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
The provided context is an example of the misguided attempt to make Alphaness everything to everyone. The Burger King Red Pill - Have It Your Way!
See my discussion of Weinstein and Trump
Phoenixston 5y ago
The point was that there's a distinction between a natural Alpha and a Beta identifying as an Alpha, hence why there are so many posts on this reddit helping Beta males to present themselves as Alpha with women. I don't see an issue with either if both get you laid, but the OPs argument doesn't hold water on its own. That being said, my comment may have lacked sufficient clarity.
I'll take a look when I have some more free time.
freestyler2k1 5y ago
Don't understand why this post gets downvoted!
In a monogamous relationship you as a man give up your sexual strategy (spread your seed) while the woman don't give up anything! The woman will seeks for better opportunity (Hypergamy) even in a relationship! That is in my opinion a bad trade and not an Alpha trait!
Open relationship = you are a cuck! -> makes no sense!
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To argue, fucking many random girls is nothing what gives you pleasure and "this one girl" gives me so much more is male hamster! That is noting more than comfortable, you don't need to put much effort anymore!
peaceful_strong_man 5y ago
(Polygynous) polygamy is God's natural system for marriage. Monogamy is very beta and unnatural. No wonder why governments have banned or restricted it, even in Asian and African countries.
DoneScannedIt 5y ago
Here is a quote from the linked article, "Evolution doesn’t work this fast. You don’t change the neural pathways behind what we’re predisposed to feel."
I'm tired of hearing that I should, "just change", to be this way or that. Many things are much deeper than "social constructs".
It was worth coming, just to stumble on this nugget.
throwawaybpdnpd 5y ago
You make it seem like being an alpha has everything to do with women, but it doesn’t.
Being an alpha is a way of thinking and reacting, it goes way beyond just fucking women.
Maybe that’s what you tell yourself to make you feel better being hypersexualised
That’s way more PUA than TRP...
Appex1 5y ago
It's incredible how people like you see the world so black/white. There are so much more to the A/B principle than just fucking. Like you haven't seen a true alpha with an LTR and a beta who goes out 4 times a week and spends all his time and money on attracting as many girls as possible.
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phdbroscience350 5y ago
I am feeling more fulfillment from my LTR at the moment then when I was banging different chicks on a weekly basis. Because there is this threshold that you pass by banging to many random chicks that just leaves you empty on the inside. Chicks just become notches and it was not my cup of tea. Call me a beta cuck but sometimes I think this alpha stuff gets way to far up people's asses.
Trenned_out 5y ago
I know this feeling exactly. It's alpha to do what you want.
However what ends up happening eventually in an LTR despite how red pilled we may be... Is we slide into betadom. Part of this is inherent in an LTR and not necessarily bad. Some betaness comforts the girl and is necessary in an LTR. Think comfort tests vs the shit tests you faced early on. But eventually odds are you slide to too beta. The LTR that was the only time I ever fell in love, looked at me like I was fucking 12/10 Chad. Like she couldn't believe I was with her. Helped I balanced a ridiculously over confident attitude, giving her leg shaking orgasms and being geniunely sweet to her at times. Well, over time this same girl came to treat me like shit. Part of it was familiarity, girls subconsciously see you as lower value the more available you are. Part of it was real life shit happens. I had some severe professional stuff derail my career for awhile and it took its toll on me. I wasn't the same confident AF jerkboy. Now did I do anything wrong? Really no, I handled the situation the best I could, it just shows you how no woman will be there for you in "your darkest hour" if your SMV drops too much, even temporarily.
I think my story illustrates how fragile relationships really are. How the burden of performance is ALWAYS on us, and we are only as valuable to a woman as our current state.
Mangasbzo7 5y ago
This.
There's a saying '1 good girl is worth a thousand bitches'. It took me fucking 1000 bitches to realize that
Powerlifter1 5y ago
right. after awhile of fucking random broads, id rather spend time with one good vetted girl who actually brings me joys of adventure and companionship. dunno why these people obsess over just fucking. so much more to life
afterdarkexotic 5y ago
The Greeks knew a thing or two.
Re: Post-coital tristesse...
"Every animal is sad after coitus except the human female and the rooster." Greek physician, surgeon and philosopher, Galen.
nebder 5y ago
Why are you restricting LTR to monogamy?
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
Why are you asking me about something that I never said?
WinjetRed 5y ago
You got any more of these Alpha Cards to give? The problem with this definition of alpha is it makes us slaves to women. The masculine sexual imperative is a secondary to the masculine imperative of do-what-ever-the-fuck-you-want in my book.
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
Then don't fuck tons of chicks, what do you want me to say
WinjetRed 5y ago
That's exactly what I want you to say. I understand what you're trying to get at and I agree to an extent. The most alpha thing a man can do is survive and pass on gene's successfully. That's mans whole sexual imperative summed up. In this society that's not feasible if he's doing it like Genghis Kahn. He would be taken for everything he has and end up in jail. But even without that, there is the knowledge that for the best chance of offspring to survive a mans presence is needed. If he sticks around he's still following that sexual imperative of passing genes successfully. An N count of 1 with 5 children is more successful than an N count of 300 and 0 children biologically speaking.
So now you're saying that simply fuckjng a girl and not impregnating is the lone criteria for being alpha. I dont believe that. It's now become an arbitrary way to judge a man. You could use money, or anything else in its stead. I say fuck as many as you want or dont want. Doesn't make a man any less of a man.
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
That's what the Beta Bucks is for
That's not what I said exactly, but essentially yes. The "not impregnating" part is prevented through birth control.
This is a forum about intersexual dynamics, is it not?
WinjetRed 5y ago
Yes it is a forum on inter sexual dynamics but in the modern age. If you have read the very first post explaining what this was youd understand that. You're telling guys to knock up chicks and get other guys to raise them now? They'll still be on the hook for child support. This forum I bet is full of guys sending part off their checks to women that are or arent spending it on the kids. It's very costly and IMO a shit strategy. Ok so now onto just fucking as the criteria for Alpha. Women are a lagging indicator of success as the wise men here have shown us. And guess what?. All your examples of men that are fucking copious amounts of chicks, are all insanely talented! That's what got them all the girls. That's why the message here is become Alpha. The girls will follow. It's why the old trope of the PUA that spends all his time chasing girls while living on his friends couch is not espoused as a way of life on this forum.
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
Christ you guys argue like women...I never said anything remotely like that.
RedForEducation 5y ago
Yes, this is a standard red pill distinction. One is a useful cluster of behaviours for building female desire.
the other is incel men building an unattainable archetype to use to above themselves of the burden of performance
handfulofnuts 5y ago
This. Very insightful, gets right to the heart of a lot of men’s misunderstandings around here.
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
I don't see how that would be the takeaway for anyone reading this.
whatsthisgarg 5y ago
Your title: Why You Cannot be Alpha
in a Monogamous LTROr:
So "Alphaness" (never actually seen that term before, but w/e) is just acting on "an urge" that billions of men on the planet currently possess?
Then in your post you say it is "access" to "sexuality". Alphaness is access. So a good rapist is an Alpha.
Your post is a mess and you are seriously misunderstanding some basic TRP principles. Which I have no time to go into so don't ask, all I'm going to say is any jackass who comes on here saying "I want to be Alpha" or asks "is it Alpha bro? I gotta know!" doesn't get it.
There's no such thing as an "Alpha." There are just alpha traits. Your post is just as wrong as the confused noobs you are criticizing.
Here's a criticism from the real world: what if I have arranged my life to my complete satisfaction and not rationalizing or illuding myself about anything, and somebody like you says "You're a lesser alpha, you're not a real alpha." To which I would say Who cares what you think?
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Just_Isaak 5y ago
Albert Einstein married his fucking cousin you dweeb. As far complicated mathematics goes Einstein was on top. Don’t try and pass him off as a player.
Aside from that interesting read.
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
Einstein cheated on his wives. A lot. That info is easily available on the web if you want to look for it.
chazthundergut 5y ago
What is this gibberish? Of course you can be alpha in a monogamous LTR
You need to take a break from internet theory dude
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
I've come to the same conclusion, albeit for a different reason. No point in trying to challenge established doctrine. This entire discussion was a tremendous waste of my time.
SensualSeduction01 5y ago
Alpha gets after what he wants, to the extent that he wants. He also is willing to face the resistance and repercussions that come with going after what he wants (mostly coming from a place of being physically strong/ having something to physically defend himself with).
Everything else is, to be completely frank, gay shit.
Including this post.
Whisper 5y ago
If you throw a ball, and a dog can't find it, it's no good pointing at where it landed, because a dog doesn't understand the concept of "pointing". It just comes up and sniffs your finger.
You are not a dog.
Stop sniffing my finger.
FeralRed 5y ago
“Its like a finger pointing away to the moon. Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.”
Bruce Lee
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
The entire purpose of this post is to discuss the object itself.
Mangasbzo7 5y ago
I am the post-alpha.
I had fucked so many women that one day i saw deep into the wide abyss of existence and the universe, and when it looked back into me my id, my ego and my super ego were merged into one unified consciousness above all lesser consciousness. In other words, I ascended to an existence beyond alpha and beta altogether.
Now there is no more alpha or beta from me or to me. Now I am just pure cosmic energy. I cannot be created or destroyed. I cannot be glorified or criticized. I cannot be desired or rejected.
I am the post-alpha.
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WarriorMonkMode 5y ago
Being beta means you dance to another person's tune whereas alpha means you write your own music.
Being alpha is being able to be honest with yourself whereas being beta is where you take notes as everyone tells you how wrong you are.
Being alpha is when you don't take shit from yourself whereas being beta is when you'll beg for the privilege of eating someone else's shit.
You live in the moment. There is no "being alpha" or "being beta." They're traits. Behaviors you adopt to troubleshoot interactions on a day to day basis. Men here attempt to adopt alpha traits here so that when the pressure is on and the play book goes out the window, they'll be proactive rather than reactive. "Alphas" dictate the tempo of an interaction whilst betas constantly react because they're always on the back foot.
You cannot be "100% alpha" because "being alpha" is contextual and dependant on perspective. It's a set of behaviors. You still work for a shitty boss? You still play by society's rule? Well, by the sub's definition you're a beta cuck. One man's alpha is another man's beta. Perspective.
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
Alphaness is actualizing the insatiable urge to shoot sperm into many willing females. Nothing more, nothing less.
nebder 5y ago
Whats your body count dude
WarriorMonkMode 5y ago
Yeah, pretty shallow definition. You some kind of EC trolling us or what?
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Psychological_Radish 5y ago
Actually, it does. They are executing on the masculine sexual imperative that underpins the Alpha sexual strategy. Whether or not they have Alpha traits is a different question. Usually there is significant overlap, but not always.
Did I say pussy is the only thing there is in life? No. I specifically pointed out that a LTR desirable, but I guess you didn't bother actually reading what I wrote.
aplodan 5y ago
1- Whats your proof ?
2- Alpha is just in your head , in reality there is no such thing as an alpha male human aside from real leaders and presidents - who get cheated on by their women by the way - .
3- However alpha traits do exist . Which what you should aim for .
TopOccasion29 5y ago
Agreed. What OP fails to understand is alpha can also be situational.
Kommanderdude 5y ago
Shit post is shit. Want to know how I know OP is a 17y/o incel?
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
Please, enlighten me. This should be good.
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[deleted] 5y ago
Thanks for posting this interesting read.
Foobyx 5y ago
If you want to raise a kid properly, you have to be in a monogamy LTR.
If by alpha you mean bringing something, contributing to the world, educating your kids is the best investment you can do to extend your values, ideals past your death.
It's quite obvious what is the best sustainable option for the future of mankind / the world:
fuck tons of pussy and leave them raise a child by themselve or with another beta man
bouncypoo 5y ago
An Alpha does what HE wants to do, period. No man on the face of the planet thinks, "hmmmm ya know what..I want to commit to this one broad and raise a nice lil family(every man wants to have sex with as many beautiful women as he can, if he can). " I totally understand Psychological_Radish POV. He is absolutely right. I've never met an alpha who was in a LTR. The women always ends up truly dominating in a LTR , if even subtly. To give up one's autonomy is the antithesis of Alpha. What's so hard to understand about that . A bunch of beta's trying to rectify their decision to commit to one female who WILL leave them for better the first chance she gets. How Alpha! Disregard females acquire currency. When I'm 50 I'll settle down and have kids, but at that pt I will willingly admit that I'm placing my self second (BETA) to my wife and kids. For now I'm young , I place my self first(ALPHA), I have sex with women here and there but ultimately I'm enjoying life while improving myself by various means.