There is a difference between Alpha traits and actually being Alpha.

Alphaness in the context of sexual strategy has little to do with Alpha traits such as confidence, status, or good looks. It is simply the execution of the masculine sexual imperative - unlimited access to unlimited sexuality, which only a small number of men will ever actualize.

Men evolved to spread their seed among as many women as possible. While an impregnated woman must wait nine months in between children, a man does not have to wait at all. This is the essence of the Alpha sex drive - the insatiable urge to impregnate one woman after another. That is why men feel compelled to get away after sex, while women want to bond. Neediness in a man is so unattractive because it is a feminine trait and the opposite of masculine sexuality.

A monogamous LTR is wholly inconsistent with the Alpha sex drive because it requires a man to curtail the very thing that makes him Alpha in the first place. It is the adoption of the Beta sexual strategy: focus and provisioning on a single woman, rather than many women.

There is no such thing as an Alpha Bucks. The Family Alpha does not exist.

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Alphaness is just as ruthless and amoral as female hypergamy. Alpha men across the spectrum - John F. Kennedy, Chairman Mao, Pablo Picasso, Tiger Woods, Albert Einstein - cheated on their wives constantly and with no remorse. The Alpha sex drive doesn't give a shit if she's a good mother or wife. It doesn't give a rat's ass if she's loyal and submissive. It doesn't care if she has dinner on the table every night. It only cares about shooting sperm into the next willing female in order to further the male's genetic lineage. Genghis Khan, reputed to have fathered hundreds of children, is the direct ancestor of 16 million men alive today. Talk about spreading your seed.

It was not the mere achievement of becoming POTUS that made men such as JFK, Lyndon Johnson, and Bill Clinton major league Alphas. They were major league Alphas because their sexual strategy involved fucking as many women as they could get their hands on. Alpha traits certainly helped them in both endeavors, but that was not what made them Alpha.

Indeed, many U.S. presidents were consummate Betas, despite displaying Alpha traits and holding the most "Alpha" job in the world. Ronald Reagan comes to mind here. Known for his looks, charisma, and effortless charm, Reagan surely embodied many Alpha traits, but he was no Alpha male. His first marriage to Jane Wyman failed due to disagreements over his political ambition and views, i.e. loss of Frame. Later he married Nancy Reagan, and by all accounts their marriage was intimate, but he was Beta as hell. Despite all of his Alpha traits and high SMV, his sentiments about his relationship ("whatever I treasure and enjoy ... all would be without meaning if I didn't have you") not only flatly contradict the notion of being Alpha, but are downright Beta.

Then there are those men who embody Alpha traits, but use Beta Game to achieve the Alpha imperative. Harvey Weinstein and Donald Trump are prime examples. Both men possess confidence, charm, and charisma. Both achieved nearly unparalleled success and status in their fields. However, they both take a purely transactional view of sex. Fucking is just another business arrangement for them. In Weinstein's case, the promise of career advancement; for Trump, provisioning and social status. That is why the Weinstein affair was so abhorrent; he overcame lack of genuine desire by negotiating desire. Still, their Alphaness cannot be denied. Both cheated on their wives incessantly in pursuit of the Alpha imperative, but they did it through Beta means.

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As Rollo himself seems to admit, a man in a monogamous LTR is a lesser Alpha, although I think that is being too generous. The moment a man commits himself to monogamy, he ceases to be Alpha. He may continue to display Alpha traits, but he is no longer Alpha - much like a dead body continues to look human for a time, without actually being human. Of course, if the man cheats or leaves the relationship, he may return to a state of Alphaness - much like water can transition between various states of being.

Nevertheless, a monogamous LTR can be desirable for other reasons. I want a monogamous relationship one day. So do many of you. There isn't anything wrong with this, but we won't be Alphas. We can't have our cake and eat it, too. Both sexes must give something up. For men, the urge to seed other women; for women, the urge to optimize hypergamy.

In the best case scenario, former Alpha men in monogamous LTRs enter a sexual gray area between Alpha and Beta. They maintain Frame and Alpha traits. They apply Dread Game - the anxiety that a woman feels when she knows that her man could revert to carrying out an Alpha sexual strategy at a moment's notice. Being Red Pilled in a LTR is basically about making the best of an inherently disadvantageous situation. A former Alpha possesses an advantage because the experience of living a life of abundance.

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A major shortcoming of TRP community is that it is too loose with the definition of "Alpha." Every guy wants to believe he is an Alpha male, so the concept of Alpha is diluted until everyone is satisfied. It is the exact same pussification that has infected much of American society. You don't have to actually be a winner in order to get a trophy, all you have to do is show up in uniform. When the topic of Alphaness gets taken to its logical conclusion, that is when men lash out with gems such as "being Alpha isn't about getting laid a lot." I'm sorry, but that is exactly what it is about. It isn't about "having fun," it's about winning.

That is why, I think, there is so much focus on Alpha traits around here. It is much easier to assume the garb of an Alpha for ego purposes rather than face uncomfortable truths about what the Alpha sexual strategy entails. Actually executing on the Alpha imperative - being Alpha - is not possible for the vast majority of men, either because they lack the ability to do so, or they have adopted the Beta sexual strategy in order to achieve another goal (e.g. the nuclear family).

If there is one disagreement I have with Rollo, whom I regard as the community's foremost intellectual, it is his apparent refusal to acknowledge this reality. His answer to the question of why he married his wife - because it seemed like a good idea at the time - strikes me as an uncharacteristic evasion of a very simple question. I think he realizes on some level that he cannot be Alpha and married, so he only addresses the topic grudgingly and in a very loosey-goosey manner.

Guys need to understand the difference between Alpha traits and the Alpha sexual strategy. They need to know why a monogamous LTR puts them at severe risk of full-on Betatization. It is clearly the source of much confusion within the Red Pill community - confusion that will prevent men from achieving and maintaining the very relationship that they desire.

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