Summary: Sex is a decision a woman makes in the moment, based on how she feels. A woman isn’t just a slut for the right guy. She’s a slut in the right moment. If a man can create a moment for her where sex feels right, it will happen. If a man can recognize when circumstances beyond his control aren’t right for creating the moment, he can avoid wasting his time.


There is no shortage of stories about the slutty things women have done.

If you meet a drunk college girl over spring break and play your cards right, she’ll let you finger her in the hotel pool after dark. She doesn’t know you or even like you that much, but she thinks that’s what she’s supposed to do over spring break, you’re there, you’re reasonably cute and fun, and you’re confidently making moves. It’s not about you. She barely knows you. You’re just some guy. But the circumstances were right.

A girl who just got dumped by her ex might spend the weekend with a friend of his to try to make him jealous. It won’t work, but they guy is there, willing, not too ugly, and at least she’s not alone. And when her ex doesn’t care, she’ll keep hooking up with him every time he comes to her part of town for work because at least the sex is good. She doesn’t like either of these guys that much, but the circumstances lined up.

A girl might have spent the past few months hooking up with a guy, things seemed like they were progressing in a relationship direction, then he got transferred to another city for work. So she spends the next three months on a sex bender to get over the fact that relationships never seem to work out for her. If you message her on Tinder when she’s in that state of mind, she’ll let you come meet her in the parking lot behind her office and blow you in her car. It’s not because you’re especially hot, confident, or masculine. It’s because the circumstances worked out.

A guy like you might one day find yourself dating a girl like this, or even being her boyfriend, without knowing it. Then one day, she’ll let some things about her past slip over a few drinks, and you’ll find yourself feeling insecure or disgusted. You’ve never fingered her in a public pool. She never spent a weekend with you for no-strings sex. She never blew you in the parking lot behind her office. And every time you tried to do anything like that, she brushed off your advances and would always rather just take you home for normal sex. And you get angry. Why the hell would she do slutty things like this for random guys and not you? She must be playing you, you think to yourself, because she made all of those bad decisions and gave that fun slutty side of herself to other guys. Sure, you still get dates and sex, but none of the fun, slutty sex stories in her life are about you.

If you read a bunch of manosphere stuff on the internet, you start to think that all of these guys from her past must be really good-looking, really masculine, really confident and good at the game. These guys were so “alpha” that she did all kinds of things with them, and when she won’t do these exact same things with you, you assume you’re a “beta” in her eyes and that she’s playing you. But don’t be so fast to elevate some random dick to super-masculine status or so quick to put yourself down.

Women don’t sit down and make a calculated decision regarding the sex acts they’re willing to do with a guy. They don’t consider a guy’s good looks, his confidence, how fun and interesting he is, do some mental math, assign the guy a score, then decide that this guy scores high enough to get to finger her in public without being her boyfriend while some other guy only gets regular sex at home after 3 dates. Sex for a woman isn’t a rational, calculated decision. It’s a decision she makes in the moment.

If you had been there over spring break, at the same hotel that she was, while she was drunk and traveling, and you had made a move on her, she very well might have let you finger fuck her in the pool after dark like that other guy did. You’ll never know. Because in that moment, under those circumstances, it felt right to her. But you weren’t in those circumstances with her. You met her a couple years later under completely different circumstances. No sense stressing out over what might have been if it had been you.

When a woman makes slutty decisions with other guys, but seems to hold you at arm’s length, this isn’t always a question of the other guys being better looking or more “alpha” than you. Sometimes, the only thing they did that you didn’t was create the moment for her. They were in the right place at the right time, so that the circumstances they couldn’t control worked out, they recognized that, and they acted to change the rest of the circumstances that they could control to create the moment where sex could happen.

Now obviously, what you look like, how you act, and how you interact with a woman and with other people in front of her are all important factors for creating the moment. So don’t slack off at the gym or forget about game or social skills anything like that. I’m not saying getting laid is all luck. What you look and act like matters a lot. But recognizing a good moment from a shitty moment and seizing that good moment to act can be the turning point that gets you laid.

When you meet a woman, you are spinning a story for her. She’s at a bar, at a coffee shop, at a beach, or wherever else you see her. It’s spring, it’s winter, it’s raining, it’s night time, it’s something. She’s there with friends for a birthday party, or she’s there with co-workers, or she’s there with her best friend drinking to get over her ex. She’s something. Some of her circumstances you can’t control, some you can.

For example, if a girl is out at a bar for a friend’s birthday or bachelorette party, or out with co-workers, she’s obviously not going to bail on everybody to go hook up with you, even if she’s hooked up with other guys from bars in the past. Talk, get her number, move on. Set something up next week. Have sex another time, and don’t be butt-hurt that she’s gone home with other guys from bars the day she met them but didn’t with you. The circumstances weren’t right. Who knows if she’d have fucked you under different circumstances like she did with other guys? Don’t worry about it. It was beyond your control.

But if she’s out with her best friend getting over her ex, take that poor girl home and give her the best fucking she’s had in months. She doesn’t have to like you. You don’t even have to be that hot. You just have to be confident and make her feel attractive. The circumstances are in your favor. Create a moment, make her feel like the moment is right, and she’s yours for the night.

Pay attention to women. Listen. Learn about a girl’s circumstances, and you can use this to weave a story for her. You can create a moment for her where sex can happen. With the right game, you can turn a girl’s “I had a bad day at work and just want to drink and be left alone” into “I had a bad day at work, but you just might be able to help me forget about it.” Or you can recognize when circumstances are stacked against you, get her number, and hit her up later. Women appreciate it when a socially clued-in guy recognizes that the timing isn’t right and extracts himself after getting her number. That guy has a leg up the next time he meets her.