edit: It is New York Magazine not *The New Yorker***. My bad. Still a very prominent publication though in the mainstream press.**
Hypergamy always seeks higher than its own level for both sides of the AF/BB equation. Girls don't want a guy below their SMV for short-term fucks; they want a guy they perceive as at (preferably above) their own numerical HB rating. The same is true for long-term provisioning. Girls almost always want to marry a guy who is of equal or greater social status. Furthermore, that guy is expected to perform for the duration of the relationship.
I recently came across a very interesting article in New York Magazine about women who earn more than their husbands. It seems that many of these men started off more on the Alpha Fucks side, because the women speak about how great the sex was in the beginning. But that changed when the men fell into her Frame as they became more and more dependent on her income and failed to meet their burden of performance. And since hypergamy always seeks better than its own level, the relationship eventually unraveled. It is cautionary tale for those who want LTRs one day.
“Sexuality is based on respect and admiration and desire,” says Anna. “If you’ve lost respect for somebody, it’s very hard to have it work. And our relationship initially had been very sexual, at the expense of other things."
“Sex was not a problem for him,” she goes on. “It was a problem for me. When someone seems like a child, it’s not that attractive. In the end, it felt like I had three children.”
Emily, a senior sales executive, admits she enjoys the control she has over Mark, a struggling photographer. But sex has become an issue.
“I can’t give up the position of empress,” she says. “Everything is in my name. When I’ve gotten really bratty, I’ve said, ‘Well fine, leave,’ knowing he can’t leave. I’ve never had such security in a relationship. There’s no risk of flight. But it’s only giving me a short-term gain. Ultimately, it’s emasculating for him.
“Mark,” she adds, “was the best sex I ever had.” But that was long ago. “We fight instead,” she says. “We’re embroiled in some weird combat. It’s like Lysistrata. I tell him, ‘Your business is going to have to get better faster.’ Until then, I’m withholding.”
When Emily comes home, she doesn’t always want to be the boss. But she says her husband no longer has the authority to take over. “I want somebody to take that power role away from me,” she explains. “Ultimately, it gets down to pretty basic stuff. It’s hard to be the power broker every day and then be the femme fatale. I’m not going to pay the bills—I feel like his mother—and then come home and suck his dick.”
However, guys who maintain rock solid Frame and project masculinity can overcome this disadvantage. The dude described below made the mistake of giving up his mission while his wife continued working, but succeeded anyway due to strong Frame. It also helped his masculine credibility that he wasn't some lazy schlub, but a former FBI agent and businessman.
"My husband had a very strong identity and was successful in his life,” Corcoran explains. “Thank God for that. There’s no way I can control him. I wouldn’t stay married to him if I felt I could. I can readily take my business personality into the home. But he forces me to be a partner rather than the boss. It’s what keeps our marriage healthy. He won’t give me an inch of satisfaction. He won’t acknowledge my superiority.”
Women don't want to be your mommy. Planning to be a stay-at-home husband or retiring early to loaf around is rank stupidity and unmanly as hell. Read the full article here.