This is a story about a guy that went to the same high school as me and was a year younger than me. Let's call him Billy. Billy was your usual beta. I talked to him twice in high school and both times he tried to show off how superior he is (going to the opera with his mom, and yeah, he was that big mom's boy kind of guy, and some other bullshit like that). But Billy became kind of a "celebrity" in high school for his white knighting on facebook. He would often challenge guys who made jokes about women or would have a different point of view than one of Billy's girl (wide space) friends. I bet you know a guy like that.
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High school ended and I forgot about Billy for a while (I remember that after he finished high school he was accepted at my uni but doped out after one semester).
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Now, fast forward to this summer, I made a new plate, banged her till the end of November. I ended it because she wanted an exclusive relationship.
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But after one month of banging her I found out she had a guy friend, a beta orbiter, and you guessed it, that guy was Billy. He would send her poems while I was banging her brains out, he would try and have deep conversations with her to which she replied while sending me screen shots and mocking him. I really felt bad for the guy, but hey, not my problem.
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So basically I was fucking this chick while Billy was her emotional tampon (even though she laughed about him with every occasion) . It's already a classic story.
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Now, the interesting part comes. At the end of December this chick messaged me again to tell me she wishes me all the best and that she found a boyfriend and everything in her life is great now. I thanked her and asked: "Did Billy get lucky? lol". To which she replied: "Not cool", and kept sending a couple of messages telling me I was rude.
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And since that moment every 2 or 3 days she messages me to tell me again how rude I was. And I remember one message that was really funny: "If billy is not as great as you, then you are as lame as him, because I am the same!!!". That one really cracked me up. And remember, to all those messages (probably over 100 by now) I replayed with "Okay", and she keeps messaging me ( Today I got 15 texts, lol). So you get the idea, Billy is worshiping this cunt while she is still obsessed with a guy who used to drop by once or twice a week to bang her then leave. That's your average unicorn for which you had a crush since 9th grade, so wake up!
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I must admit. I was an orbiter too for 4 years for the same girl until I discovered the red pill, and this is the first time I feel like I'm truthfully on the other side of the classic story. Also, I'm not a 100% Alpha at all, I have a little above average game and decent looks (need to go back to the gym), and my best asset right now is my high paying job(but still, I learned not to spend money on girls).
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And some lessons from this:
- Even if you "get" the girl after beta orbiting her for months/years, this is because she don't have better prospects and she will always be alpha widowed and probably would dump you in a second for Chad's cock and probably is still obsessed with chad. Attraction comes in the first minutes you talk with a chick, not in months.
- Girls are very conscious of their actions and try to rationalize them(the hamster). The chick realized that she settled for a beta orbiter, but tries to rationalize it.
- If you have a high paying job, don't spend your money on girls. Instead hook them on the idea that one day, if you get serious with them, you will spend a lot of money on them. I found out that this is the best strategy to catch plates into your hook and works a lot better than spending money on fancy dinners.
In the end I want to thank The Red Pill again, it's good to not be the loser of the story anymore.
Jellyfishking3 5y ago
Glad I was born asexual. I swear to god everyone is just so revolting. The ideal love world truly is one where sex does not exist, and people naturally reproduce by non-troglodyte means. This removes the diversely flawed sexual monopoly, and those who choose to pursue companionship do so based solely on personality preferences.
Welp, I can atleast take solace in that there are an infinite number of alternate realities in which this is the case, and an infinite number in which it is exorbitantly worse.
Oh well, guess I'll just have to continue casually suggesting how repugnant of a concept sex is to strangers. Bye now.
chazthundergut 5y ago
Congrats dude. Always nice to see men going from beta orbiter to alpha fuckboy.
We've all been Billy. Hopefully he finds his way here sometime
Keep it up
TheLegionnaire00 5y ago
Thanks man! I still have a lot of work ahead!
_do_not_read_this_ 5y ago
Am I the only one who thinks she still wants to fuck you, and that "the medium is the message" she gets off on your IDGAF attitude? If she was {real life} pissed at you, she'd cut off contact.
Dude, take another shot at at if you're still into her.
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TheLegionnaire00 5y ago
Well I'm not into her anymore. I kept her as a plate just because was an easy fuck, but I let her go when she asked for commitment since I don't want any drama. And since I have other prospects, I don't need to go back to a broken plate, lol. But thanks for the advice!
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0kool74 5y ago
To which she replied: "Not cool"
You know what would have been absolutely hilarious don't you? It'd of been funny as hell if you told her "What's not cool is how hot he doesn't make your pussy." The hamster reaction on that one would have been legendary.
NextBad 5y ago
> If you have a high paying job, don't spend your money on girls.
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Agreed, I call it beta bucks game, some women date me without asking for money, but hope they can one day profit
Tbonesupreme 5y ago
Depends what you're looking for.
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If you just want to fuck, then downplay your income. If she thinks you have long-term potential, it will hit her make him wait button. They pretend to not be sluts for guys they want to be in a relationship with.
TheLegionnaire00 5y ago
Exactly. Don't get girls by spending money on them but by making them think one Day you could spend money on her.
Battagliare 5y ago
"If you have a high paying job, don't spend your money on girls. Instead hook them on the idea that one day, if you get serious with them, you will spend a lot of money on them."
Instead hook them on the that one day, if they orbit you and praise you enough, you will give them sex which they crave.
Narrative fits so perfect.
TheLegionnaire00 5y ago
Yeah. You are right. This is the best way you should do it, but for that you need to work more on your body and your game. And Currently I have the a good job, but not the body and game that I would wish, and I'm working on that.
The ideal would be to have all the 3 things (money, game and looks), then you would drown in pussy, lol.
whataccent 5y ago
If you don't have a high-paying job, should you just looks-max and be a social alpha with quick wits in order to score? I'd imagine emphasis on short-term value is ideal to fun flings, and they'll just go back to beta bux.
DubbleFUPAwitCheez 5y ago
Girls are ruthless to orbiters that can't take a hint. I was laying in bed with a girl I just got done fucking and some guy texted her asking what she was up to and if she wanted to hang out. She was showing me the texts and she told him she just got laid. He responded "cool" and she replied that it was a "great dick down" and a series of emojis. The guy kept responding but I forget anything related after.
I am convinced that after so long that it's just a game to them and I don't blame them. If you make it clear to someone you're not interested but they keep coming back for more the only thing to do besides flat out ignore is see how far you can take it. Vivisecting their ego just to see what happens.
odue 5y ago
She sounds like a terrible person. Who writes that to someone, as a response to an invitation to hang out?
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Zech4riah 5y ago
Nice story and in addition a good example how the trp alpha males worst enemy isn't another (trp) alpha male but actually a beta male/orbiter who promises commitment.
TheLegionnaire00 5y ago
Not really. I don't see how Billy is my enemy since I already droped that plate before she went to Billy.
TRP theory still remains: girls go for betas for commitment and to alphas for tingles. When the alphas are no longer interested in them, they go for the betas.
SemiLoquacious 5y ago
Fake.
She shows you all the conversations she has with him as a way to mock him. Didn't happen.
100 messages she sends you because you joked about Billy. I call bull shit.
snowie42 5y ago
I am still not good at not spending money on girls. I may not have read the whole sidebar so I might have missed some information on it. But I don't know exactly how to make the girl pay for her own shit without sounding weird. So, lately, I stopped going out with them to save money.
olimpicus 5y ago
Just say no and keep dating. Honestly most professional women offer to pay in my experience (Chile)
FKaroundNfindOUT 5y ago
You WILL sound weird.... you WILL be weird for doing it.
GOOD.
Nicolas0631 5y ago
To me outside maybe the first date or something, the girl shall propose to participate. If she doesn't you can simply say like we will split the bill or something like that.
If you don't just go to each other home to fuck or if it isn't a one night encounter, it is critical to ensure that you make her pay her part a way or another. If you let it go and always pay, the girl just see you as a stupide provider she can take advantage of.
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AllahHatesFags 5y ago
There are no feminists when the bill comes.
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Tbonesupreme 5y ago
Do an invite for a drink somewhere, and tell her you only have about an hour. Leave after an hour, even if you're having a good time. It creates demand, and shows you are a busy person. If you choose to pay for drinks, you're looking at about a $20 tab.
Second date is at your house (or hers, if she says that works better). If she says no, then next. Total investment is 60 minutes and $20.
If you want to be a try hard and make her pay half, then do you. $20 isn't going to hit any provider buttons. Not flipping a fucking nickel for drinks will either make you look poor or bitter, imo.
If you don't have $20, meet up at a park and go for a walk or something. But I'd rather spend the $20 than give up the 2-3 hours a "free" date requires.
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Trenned_out 5y ago
I agree with this. Keeping it at 1-2 drinks and picking up the tab gives you all the positives that picking up the tab is (no not beta bux, but there are positives in a girls mind), plus you barely spend any money.
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Plus drinks are casual and don't give off the blue pill "omg let me take you out to dinner youre so hawt plz talk to me vibe" that a dinner date early on gives.
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Although in the past I usually pulled off the "I'll grab the first round you get the second" thing. You basically end up paying the same as having 2 drinks yourself but for some reason women don't get that this is the same as splitting the check lol
hearse223 5y ago
You make her pay, obviously.
Newbosterone 5y ago
If you want to spend on a date, she pays her own way. And yours, if you can manage it.
If you don’t want to spend money, focus on the experience. Make it exciting or unusual. Deep and soulful experiences are a rare treat after you’ve emotionally connected.
drkinferno72 5y ago
Don't date
Hookup
Simple, most money spent will be condoms, I wouldn't trust ones provided by a girl. Though my old college provided them free
WinjetRed 5y ago
I believe most guys here can identify with you. It's a tough realization that you did things wrong that you thought were right to get the girl and you need to change if you want to be successful. This place is a God send in the respect it teaches you what you did wrong most of the time.
NextBad 5y ago
you don't need to change you need to learn, you can never change who you are, you just learn what women really want, your mindset is the problem, not you,
Tbonesupreme 5y ago
You can definitely change who you are. If you're focused on doing what women really want, you're just faking it.
largepaycheckaddict 5y ago
The best way to prevent yourself from being a beta orbiter or entering the friend zone is to simply not give a fuck about whether she wants to fuck your or not and focus on your purpose.
There have been so many times I’ve had female acquaintances not see me as a sexual prospect only til further down the road when they see me doing my thing and getting ahead in life. I always maintain friendly interactions with these girls but don’t puppy dog her or like all her shit on social media. So many of these chicks who wouldn’t give me the time of day in highschool were jumpin on my dick in my early 20s when their highschool jock BF got fat, devolved into some loser with no life outside video games and stopped playing sports.
Focus on your purpose (lifting, career, lifestyle) and don’t get butthurt over the power of the pussy how chicks are just gonna choose the most alpha guys and the pussy will come.
Then when you have your Greek god like body, 6 figures in the bank account, and alpha driven world view you get your pick of the litter.
NextBad 5y ago
Let's take Scottie Pippen, a guy who is in the 0.1%, he is rich, good looking and has a amazing life style and plays sports. His wife cheated, he
​
>https://www.totalprosports.com/2017/06/10/scottie-pippen-freezes-wifes-account-after-buying-4m-apology-ring-because-she-cheated-with-rapper-future/
>Pippen welcomed his wife back after Future got bored with her, even giving Larsa a $4 million comeback ring on Valentine’s Day.
​
Your mindset is don't study how to talk to women, you will just know when you improve yourself, for some reason men have issue learning about emotions because women taught you it was manipulative , so you disrespect the game, and focus on band aids.
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> The best way to prevent yourself from being a beta orbiter or entering the friend zone is to simply not give a fuck about whether she wants to fuck your or not and focus on your purpose.
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this is called passive aggressiveness a sign of low social intelligence , to avoid the friend zone know what you want and say it, don't hang around hoping something will happen
largepaycheckaddict 5y ago
Just because your a professional athlete, that doesn’t mean your skills and views in discriminating for a wife quality women are just as professional.
After all, there’s plenty of evidence out there of athletes making poor decisions outside of their profession. How many times have we heard of athletes committing various crimes and getting sent to jail?
Look at all the men around us who maintain strong traditional relationships with their wives and keep their families intact. Most of them are what used to be called “regular guys” before the mass propaganda media outlets (tv, radio, movies, music from “major entertainment” etc..) started teaching men to be useless cowards.
You can be naturally alpha at something without being redpilled.
flapjacksrbetter 5y ago
Couldnt said it any better. Mens value increases over time while womens value decreases when she heads toward the wall
E_Anonymous 5y ago
Any advice on the career aspect? Something I've been struggling with recently.
TitusBjarni 5y ago
That's a big question and impossible to answer without knowing your situation.
jetspeed_ 5y ago
Specifically target an industry you’re interested in, go to local meetup groups, find a local mentor by offering to do whatever that person needs you to do (get then coffee, make their sales calls whatever) get the necessary qualifications for the job that they tell you after doing the job for a while and figuring out you like it (college, certification etc).
grewapair 5y ago
Dont forget to change your genetics to get a better face!
largepaycheckaddict 5y ago
Don’t be a defeatist. If you’re an ugly bastard you can either become a high status dude or lower your standards a little bit in regards to physical attractiveness.
Diogenes-- 5y ago
You know how feminists wrongly think that men are attracted to women with a few university degrees? That's because they're attracted to educated men (for betabux, not sexually), and they truly believe the genders are the same, so men must be attracted to educated women. Lol.
It's no different from how blackpillers think women are attracted to mens' faces, because we're attracted to womens' faces.
The genders are different though. Women are attracted to height and masculinity. You can't change your height, but you can raise your testosterone and become more masculine.
The first and most often repeated advice given here is to lift weights. There's a reason for that. In conjunction with healthy living (good diet, lots of sleep, sunlight / vitamin D, avoid soy & plastic, limit alcohol consumption) it will raise your testosterone, making you more masculine and appealing to women.
Now as a MGTOW, I don't see the point in appealing to women, past the joy of ignoring them when they're trying to get my attention, hoping they go home and cry to their cats or use some bluepiller as an emotional tampon. But even in my situation, high T is great. I feel like a million bucks and if any of these antifa types going around attacking people fucked with me I'd break them in half lol. So either way, lift and live healthy. It's well worth it.
Edit: Note that not all weight lifting is the same. If you're a newbie, start with a 5x5. Search for it, read for a few minutes, watch a few videos on proper form. Squats are the most vital part of it. You won't raise your testosterone doing curls and shit. Big heavy compounds, especially squats, are what matters.
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Pascolino 5y ago
You , sir, are one of the first MGTOW I encounter who seems intelligent, focused and who has actually CHOSEN MGTOW through rational thinking. I know there are many like you but most of what I see on the MGTOW subs are comments about "filthy diseased holes" and stupid memes / out of context quotes written by what seems like 13 year old's. I still read MGTOW as I find value in the comments, but anyway, it's a compliment to you that you can write intelligently and without sounding awfully angry. Cheers.
Diogenes-- 5y ago
It wasn't a choice, my mother molested me. I've always hated women & always will, and never felt comfortable near them.
MGTOW is all anger phase, and I've made my share of those "diseased holes" comments, since I'm still quite angry. I'm a special case, a lot of us had shitty single moms, but usually she was just off getting boned by Chad and being neglectful, most mothers don't molest their own sons.
But MGTOW who actually go their own way aren't going to post much about it in the MGTOW subreddit and forums. If one guy's into motorcycles, he'll post in the motorcycles subreddit. Hiking & camping, same. Etc.
The only thing MGTOW have in common is the anger, once they make it through that they don't post there as much, if at all. Meanwhile a new crop of anger phase guys has joined and talks trash about women lol.
So it gives onlookers the impression that MGTOW is all angry kids. But if you pay attention to the names I think you'll see a pretty high turnover rate.
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juschillinn 5y ago
This is maybe reaching pretty far but do you think you'd ever share what happened to you in more detail? I think it would resonate with a lot of people and the issues they face.
Diogenes-- 5y ago
Grandma's a radical feminist, didn't raise mom to be a feminist, but rather a whore. Fuck as many men as possible, that'll show the patriarchy! I honestly don't know what crazy things go through womens' heads, other than that rational thought isn't one of them.
As you might expect, my mother is an 11/10 on the crazy scale, was & still is a drunk and a pill popper, and in massive credit debt despite always having a pretty decent job - upper end of double digits with a hs diploma, strategic bjs probably had something to do with that. Women might once have been the most responsible teenager in the house, but now they're the spoiled, irresponsible, bratty child in the house.
On the rare occasion mom was there, it was because she couldn't find a guy to fuck - I'm middle aged now, so my childhood was way before tinder or even the beginnings of OLD. So she'd come home drunk and horny, and there I was. And as childish, irresponsible and lacking in conscience as most women are, my mother is a shining example of the bunch, worse than most in every way.
I think it's worse with women because sexual shit is more emotional for them. So it's not just the physical violation as is the case with a small percentage of men who abuse little girls, but the emotional violation as well. There's a term "emotional incest" which sounds a lot more menacing than a synonym, "parentification", but I think it's fitting because of how damaging it is. And I got both the emotional and physical versions from the bitch, lucky me.
On the daily it was just the usual emotional tampon stuff, but ramped up a lot. I didn't matter at all, she never once asked me about my day or myself. Everything's her her her. That bitch she works with that she hates so much. She might lose her job (lost her temper again). "YOUR FATHER LEFT ME!!" ('me', not 'us') every damn day. Lol, I found out the reality when I confronted my grandmother, my mother's the one who left, and probably got a hell of a divorce settlement. I'm not privy to the details though, and I was 1 year old when it happened so obv I don't remember it.
When she wasn't there, I was left with my grandmother whose abuse was vicious and hateful. That's all I can really say, the evilness of it is beyond the ability of language to describe. It would be like explaining quantum physics with grunts and hand gestures. It wasn't sexual abuse, but it was more damaging than my mother's abuse. In the 3 neurons she calls a brain, she was smashing the patriarchy by destroying a male toddler's life. If women really wanted to better the world, they could all jump off a fucking bridge and achieve that nicely.
I had repressed the memories until embarrassingly late in life, mid-30s or so, but I knew that despite my attraction to them, I didn't like girls / women or being near them. But as far as RP goes, I'm living proof of af / bb. My father was af, and like him I'm tall and masculine. As early as middle school girls were all over me. I've been laid despite never attempting to meet or talk to women, and I've even turned some down or faked ignorance. You know those threads in askreddit where guys are like "Omg I can't believe I missed those IOIs! Gosh, how could I be so stupid?" Well, I didn't miss them, I just pretended to. Meanwhile a lot of incels / fas are khv. Maybe that's why MGTOW was for me, maybe if I didn't experience it for myself I'd be whining about what-if like them.
Even now I can't bear to be near them, and I prefer being alone and have solitary hobbies so it suits me just fine. I smh at incel / fa because it's the fucking life, lol. All the time and money in the world to read, learn, meditate, get swole, learn guitar, literally whatever you want, when there's no women to impress with a fancy car, expensive clothes, and oodles of precious time. And they squander that time bitching and moaning about not getting 10 minutes of wet dick in exchange for 6 daily hours of her whining about that bitch at work she hates so much, a terrible trade if I ever saw one. Being with women is like babysitting.
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juschillinn 5y ago
Thanks so much for sharing, a lot of it really resonates with me, and I'm sure will with others.
Sorry to hear about what your mom and grandmother dished out to you, it sounds really devastating, like RBN on steroids. And I know that description won't do it justice. You ever thought about writing a book about your experiences? Your writing is great.
I'm surprised to hear you had repressed the memories for so long, before you had recovered them did you have the same attitudes towards women but just with no rational justification for it?
Also, do you really feel no kind of longing for human connection, ever experience loneliness etc. ie. have you ever viewed these things as psychological barriers that could do with some more work to improve your life? After all, holding hatred inside like you say you do (and I don't blame you) can't be good for the soul (or whatever you want to call it). Or are you quite comfortable with the conclusions you have come to about women and how you have chosen to interact or not with them? It's just an interesting and obviously well developed outlook, so I'm curious.
Diogenes-- 5y ago
I've been planning on starting a book, yeah. Who knows if it'll even be published, but I think writing it all out will help me heal more, if nothing else. I wouldn't care about money, my mother had plenty of that and between closets full of clothes, dozens of handbags and pair of shoes, expensive haircuts, makeup, jewelry, perfume, etc., she did manage to spend a little bit on me, mostly video games since they're a good, relatively cheap babysitter. It didn't make me happy. If I became a millionaire author I'd give all the $ to charities for men and boys. My dream is a humble, tiny cabin way up in the Rockies.
Yeah, in high school I would routinely push girls in my social circle around. Literally, I'd just walk up and shove them quite hard, it was my way of saying hi. Looking back it was definitely a manifestation of subconscious anger toward that gender, but at the time I didn't think twice about it. Some stuff even back in grade school, come to think of it. Today I'd probably be in juvenile detention for it lol. Things were very different back then.
And true to form some of them were into me, I ignored some IOIs since they made me feel uncomfortable (tugged at the repressed memories, but I did note them) and I see other IOIs now that I legitimately missed, looking back. They do love the asshole, especially if he's tall.
100% right about hate being toxic. I have a lot more healing to do. Smh when people tell me I hate x y and z identity politics groups simply because I've posted in T_D or whatever. These people have no idea what true hate really is. It's even seeped into my writing a bit, in a previous post I said I hate women but I really don't. I dislike them, they disgust me, but I don't viscerally wish them death and ruminate endlessly about them spending eternity in a hell I don't even believe in. I don't even hate my mother. I hate only my grandmother and I wish I didn't, it serves only to hinder my healing and happiness. It’s a massive weight on my shoulders. I listen to Tool’s ‘The Grudge’ a lot and think about it, but it’s not something that’s just going to change in an instant.
I used to feel lonely, considered myself FA. I was miserable and would’ve killed myself if I had a gun. Thankfully I didn’t, and the other options all seemed pretty horrible. A long fall, sitting in a car reeking of exhaust waiting for it to end… Christ lol, I’d already suffered enough. When I began healing in my mid 30s with the help of lots of really fantastic weed, everything changed. It was like Lester Burnham in American Beauty rofl, I was this old fart getting perma-baked and lifting like a maniac, feeling amazing.
Since then I don’t feel the least bit lonely. My dream is literally to be a hermit, to be even more alone. I feel free and happy only when I’m alone. Even if I did want a human connection, no connection can be had with a woman. They’re essentially robots programmed to seek out males, use them as emotional tampons, and extract their resources. No thanks.
Sorry to ramble, this has been surprisingly helpful for me. Thanks!
juschillinn 5y ago
No problem! That makes a lot of sense, and I wish you luck. It's funny I've had the exact same kind of experience with weed in the last few months, I feel like I've got so much better, and I haven't really touched it since high school, which for me is not that long ago. But with good enough weed you can really end up sorting your life out almost on autopilot, things become obvious to you that weren't before, or if they were obvious they now become pressing matters that need resolving. It's really a great thing when used as a tool.
Peace
MrFiles 5y ago
If there's anything I'd love for you to check out because it sounds like your ready is RSDs new video from. Tyler
Called getting elite power. This video IF IMPLIMENTED will change your life
Good luck
AnakinRebornRage 5y ago
Watch all 3 of the DC series videos. Literally all you ever need to know of pure "game" ever. You're right.
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bazooka1995 5y ago
1,2 hit home hard! Thanks for this. Beta orbited someone and got into a relationship, things didn’t pan out well later. Swallowed the pill, bid adieu, went monk mode and have never looked back. Even though you keep having thoughts now and then, you choose to not act on them. Getting better everyday, onwards and upwards.
drl4k3 5y ago
If you dont mind me asking, What do you do for a living?
TheLegionnaire00 5y ago
Programmer. I have my own small company and also work with a bigger multi-national company as a contractor. Plan to be 100% self employed in a year or two (Currently the salary that I'm paying myself is 50% of what tha bigger company is payng me, but hey, it's a start).
drl4k3 5y ago
Its better than a start man. Good job. Goal is always to be your own boss :)
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Flying_Wingback 5y ago
What she said kinda makes sense tho. Billy might be beta but he still getting same level pussy as you
_do_not_read_this_ 5y ago
No way that's true man! A girl comes over to your place horny as all get-out, fucks you raw for hours, licks it up and starts all over again.
or
gives you a 20 minute courtesy fuck once every three weeks.
Same girl, different guy.
Flying_Wingback 5y ago
Good point, man. Not all fucks are created equally.
reversec 5y ago
you let her words and make you enter her frame
FKaroundNfindOUT 5y ago
You really think he's getting "same level" pussy?
The same pussy can easily be awesome or terrible depending on the psycho driving it.
She could also be the once a month type... actually super likely
Tbonesupreme 5y ago
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Good ass point. She must be a slob to have to fuck pathetic Billy Beta.
olimpicus 5y ago
Until she robs him of all his money and mental sanity.
Also bad sex
TruthSeekingPerson 5y ago
(1) is what beta simps are starting to realize. And they're telling their stories and so hopefully a new generation of young men will know the truth and carry themselves with self-respect.