Self-delusion is a bitch. We feed ourselves sweet little lies like candy, making our minds flabby.

In order to get better you have to come to terms with where you are right now. An honest inventory will be free of emotion. Wishing there were five crates of Slurm on the shelf doesn't change the fact that there are only two. We can wish for more Slurm, or hint we want it, or get cranky it's not there, it doesn't change the facts of the situation or your options. Buy more cases or don't.

With ourselves and our bodies it's trickier than not raging over a lack of crates. Shame gets in the way. There might be some auto-pilot scripts about embarrassment and worthlessness. This emotional baggage needs to be set aside so you can get a clear look at your goals and plan the separate steps to get there.

We all start somewhere. I remember my first days on the grappling mats and how hapless I was. I couldn't learn the moves right and I didn't have the strength or endurance to execute. I could have stayed at that comical level of clumsiness and weakness but I didn't. Walking through the door for my first class was very difficult, returning was even harder. I only got through it by accepting that my weakness was real, and that I was okay with it because it was temporary. Sure enough, I got better, way better, and it carried over into helping with the rest of my life. You don't have to take the plunge into fight training, but I thought this personal example would help illustrate my point. Recognize you suck at something, so you aren't coasting on hollow ego, but keep trying and put in the time and it should work out.

Ok, you have the raw facts. You weigh x and can lift y. You want to change those numbers, right? For health, for capability, for respect, for a disciplined mind, for pride, for pussy, all fine reasons for me... but ultimately we each need our own motivations. This is why I am asking you the reader to pause and reflect on what is really driving you and if it is sustainable. Follow another's script too close and it won't be in your own style and will probably fizzle out.

Your perceived limits are NOT facts but projections, this is why honesty is critical to clearing development roadblocks. If I had listened to my fears, well let's just say it would be ungood.

It's okay to have flaws and vulnerabilities. You don't have to proclaim them to the internet and you don't have to sink into the shame swamp. This is about Owning Your Shit. You're not perfect and you're not horrible. Put in the time, don't give up training, and you can rewrite the numbers on your character sheet.