Summary: Guys around here tend to worry a lot about investing too much into a woman, especially if other guys didn't have to invest as much to get laid. But if the woman is just some slutty girl you'd like to fuck, and not your future wife, how much you invest really doesn't matter. Worrying about investment is, itself, investment, and tends to make a guy treat random girls as though he's vetting them for wifehood.


One of the reasons a Red Pill guy often chooses to try to avoid relationships, and sometimes even official dates with women, is the idea that these actions require “investment” in the woman. The ideal situation for a man would be to have many women that are willing to have sex with him, for little to no investment. So a lot of guys around here preach the idea that relationships are to be avoided, dates are to be informal and not labeled as dates when possible, and time, attention, money, and other things we invest into a woman should be rationed based on that woman putting out.

As a side effect of this mentality, we focus a lot on a woman’s sexual history. We definitely don’t want to end up in a “relationship” with a woman who has had a lot of casual sex before, because we would be “investing” our time, attention, and so forth into the relationship, when this woman has had sex with other guys who only had to send two Tinder messages, two text messages, and spend eight bucks for a cosmo at the bar five minutes from her apartment.

Some guys take this to a detrimental extreme. If a woman has had lots of casual hook-ups in the past, but she tries to play the good girl game and make a guy wait three dates instead of taking him home on date #1, some guys around here declare that she’s clearly not attracted to him, she’s playing him, and he should move on immediately. And you know what? Maybe that’s the case. Or maybe it’s the woman and she’s desperately trying to change and get out of the casual game before it’s too late. Or maybe she just had a yeast infection the first two dates. Who knows?

The thing is, this line of thinking can be very detrimental to a guy’s sex life. Where does it end? What if she had sex an hour after meeting most of her past guys off of Tinder, after a drink or two, but makes a Red Pill guy take her on a full date that lasts about three hours before fucking him? Did the Red Pill guy really get screwed over by fucking this girl on the first date because it didn’t happen in the first hour? What if she’s fucked a guy in the bar bathroom before but the Red Pill guy has to take her home first? Did the Red Pill guy really get screwed over by taking this girl home after meeting for drinks because he had to “invest” more?

Whatever a woman is willing to do with a guy on whatever timeframe depends on various circumstances. Some are the guy’s circumstances and if he were more of something or less of something else he might have scored earlier. Some are the girl’s circumstances and it was something the guy maybe could have identified but not necessarily fixed. Some are environmental or circumstantial things independent of either person. Some of these circumstances may have been within the guy’s control, some might not have been.

If the guy a few paragraphs above had stuck it out with that girl for three dates, he’d probably have gotten laid. He might have even maintained a casual or amorphous dating-sex thing with this girl for a few months. He might have enjoyed the sex and her company tremendously. Dismissing her after she wouldn’t fuck him on the first date over his ideology regarding “investment” in a girl would have caused him to miss out. Obviously, he should be pursuing other girls as well and not chastely following around this one girl to a dozen sexless dates like a puppy, but if a guy thinks spending a couple of hours drinking and talking with a woman is a stupid waste of time he should have “invested” elsewhere, meeting and having casual sex with women might not be a good hobby for him.

Sex is sex, and women are women. Sometimes, it will take you three dates to get a girl into bed. Sometimes it will take you forty-five minutes. And sometimes you’ll strike out. You might even strike out after taking a girl on a few dates. Sometimes this happens because you weren’t good enough. Sometimes it’s shit going on with the girl. Sometimes it’s shit you could have controlled. Sometimes it’s shit beyond your control.

Regardless of what the issues in play are, over-investing in your ideology is just as much of an impediment to getting laid as over-investing in a woman. Remember: they’re just women. Any woman you’re staring at right now is just some slutty girl you want to fuck. She’s not your future wife.

If your future wife had gotten fingered in the bar bathroom by the last guy she dated but wouldn’t let you kiss her for twelve dates, yes, you should be angry about that. But when it’s just some slut you’re trying to fuck and not your future wife, what does it matter if you fuck her on the first date, second date, or third date or when she fucked the last twenty guys and under what circumstances?

By being overly-concerned about how much you’re investing in a woman and how much other guys previously invested and fixating on bullshit like this, you’re already investing too much in the girl. Just by thinking about this, you’re putting way too much mental energy into a woman. Meet women, hang out, try to escalate toward sex, and if it happens in five minutes, great. If it happens in five dates, that’s also great. Because you’re not marrying any of them, so the work you have to do relative to the work some other guy had to do really doesn’t matter. You do the work you need to in order to get laid, and you pursue lots of women, so that if one woman is taking too much of your attention, you end up disappearing on her and fuck someone else instead.

Worrying about over-investing in a woman is a bit like trying to turn every woman you date into your future wife. Getting bent out of shape over how many hours or how many dates it took relative to other men is the kind of vetting and worrying you’d do for a wife. If it’s just sex with a slutty girl, you pursue lots of women at once, and with whoever you happen to be out with tonight, you do whatever you can to lead things toward sex. Maybe it happens tonight, maybe it happens next time, maybe it doesn’t happen and you end up fucking someone else later.

Ultimately, not every guy sitting at his computer right now is a two-Tinder-message kind of guy. Some guys are a three-date kind of guy, some are a two-date kind of guy, some are a first-date kind of guy, but we’re all working on ourselves. If today, right now, most women fuck you after three dates, own it. Today, right now, you’re a three-date guy, and that’s okay. Go on three dates and get laid. Odds are that a year ago, you were a lot worse off. The more you work out, the more you succeed, and the more you refine your game, the more often you’ll be a two-date guy. Then a one-date guy. And so on.

If a woman isn’t sucking your dick thirty minutes after meeting you, don’t be so hard on yourself, insist you’re worthless, next the bitch, and run back to Reddit. It’s not all or nothing. Before you’re a one-text-message guy, you have to be a three-date guy, and that’s miles better than being a sexless guy. Forgive yourself for not being perfect all the time, and have some fun meeting women. There are worse ways to spend your time than dating.