Summary: We can harness our hunger for weed and let it propel us towards approaching more women by using temptation bundling. We can also utilize our weed habit as a polarizing filter so that we focus our efforts on women we are likely be more compatible with.
Body
This post isn't for the straight-edge redpill Chads out there, pure in body and mind, slaying legendary poon. This post isn't even for the people who smoke weed occasionally and are already spinning a couple plates. This post is for sexually frustrated guys like I was who recognized that weed was holding them back, and are working on it, but haven't quite got to the versions of themselves that they envision.
- “Temptation bundling”: the idea of tying together two activities — one you should do but may avoid; and one you love to do but isn’t necessarily productive.
A little over a year ago, I was smokin' weed erryday and sending my swimmers into the trashcan. I learned about temptation bundling, and decided that until I got laid (I was in the midst of a 2+ year dry spell, not counting those 2 hookers in Mexico, but that's another story) I would only smoke weed under 1 condition:
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1) On days I lifted
You see, I don't find lifting weights intrinsically enjoyable, but I love smoking weed. So I'd put on my gym clothes, pack a one hitter, and take a few puffs on my way to the gym. I made progress lifting, but I had it in my head that I was in "monk mode," and "someday" I would be good enough for a woman to open her legs to me. So, eventually, I wrote down another condition under which I would smoke weed:
2) With women I met "going out"
The tough-to-swallow redpill I learned following Rule #1 was that I actually desired weed more than sex. I realized this because I was more interested in going to the gym on Friday night so I could smoke that day than in going out to bars to approach women. So I decided that I would also allow myself to smoke weed with women I met in bars.
I realize now that in addition to temptation bundling I was using polarization, a technique Mark Manson describes in Models: Attract Women Through Honesty.
The process of revealing to a woman “who you are, how you feel, and what you think” is what Mark calls “polarization”.
"Polarization is what occurs when you express your truth and make yourself vulnerable [to rejection]."
Polarization is the opposite of playing it safe and making small talk. It is the opposite of trying to avoid confrontation and controversy. Polarization separates unreceptive women from receptive ones, as well as pushes neutral women to decide one way or the other. As Mark says it in one of the most remarkable passages in the book:
"You can’t have it both ways. The two go together. You cannot be an attractive and life-changing presence to some women without being a joke or an embarrassment to others. You simply can’t. You have to be controversial. You have to polarize. It’s the name of the game. And getting good at the game is learning to open yourself up enough emotionally, learning to express your honest self enough and be comfortable enough with your vulnerability to take those embarrassing moments with the moments of passion. A willingness to polarize is not easy. But it’s necessary."
Approaching women smoking outside the bar, I was brutally honest. "Hey wanna smoke some weed?" Most of them told me to get lost. But a few were receptive. If they asked me why I wanted to smoke weed with strangers, I'd even tell them about my rules. My vulnerability - admitting my weakness for weed - helped to bring them into my frame. "Wanna go back to my place to burn one?" is a great way to change venue and get them into my apartment where I can escalate. Eventually (after months of rejection) I found a FWB that I can text at any time who will inhale my weed and then my cock.
Lessons Learned
1) Temptation bundling can help stoners to cut down on their usage while simultaneously improving themselves in other areas
2) Smoking weed is polarizing, and it can help you to focus your efforts on the women with whom you are most likely to be compatible (at least at this stage in your journey)
TrueShadow97 5y ago
If I understood correctly, inviting a girl to my place to mosh like crazy to some heavy ass deathcore can also work as polarizing. Like, that's bound to net a lot of rejections, but those who agree will be way easier to proceed with down the way.
To make this a contribution to the community, I should give a word of advice to the newly redpilled: read between the goddamn lines. I can't stress enough how important it is to be able to see the principle behind the upvoted posts and not take them at face value. You don't need to smoke weed to apply polarization: just find any uncommon trait in yourself that can be percieved as a vulnerability and that your potential partner may share, and don't be afraid to use it as an interaction starter. In fact, this will even raise your percieved value because not everyone is confident enough to openly address their vulnerabilities. Bonus points if you can actually make your polarizing trait only seem a vulnerability, if you stop giving shits about the possibility of rejection due to said trait, you're fucking invincible.
metallicdrama 5y ago
Weed is faggotry. Mighty as well go on high carb diet and subscribe to pornhub. Girls who smoke weed often are trash and just want someone to mooch weed off of.
iFx_ 5y ago
I like, weed, carbs and porn hub. I feel attacked.
Infla-mood 5y ago
Hey man just wanted to say I tried this today and it worked mint. Cheers.
CrimsonShiv 5y ago
Wouldn't recommend mixing old destructive habit patterns with a new positive one you're trying to build.
Again, you lot are still looking for easy ways to turn beta chowder into alpha lasagne. Because of this you obscure yourself from methods that could be much more effective.
Look, make a simple plan for going out and approaching completely sober, then do that for a few months. Even better if you go solo (Legendary difficulty)
I did this all last year; going out 4 - 7 nights a week, usually 6. Alone, Zero alcohol, Zero substance even Zero Sugar - bar water's free (though they sometimes think you're on molly because of this).
Even if you have little sexual success (100% likely), the strength of character you'll get from forging yourself into someone who can do something like that will be remarkable; and you'll probably stick to it out of ego gratification for being able to do so.
From there just gradually build in the social skills that you're lacking.
Approaching groups and handling group dynamics
Being self-amused rather than seeking reactions.
Beyond the social skills, if you take your progress seriously while keeping the process light and not beating yourself up when it goes wrong (don't hesitate to kick own ass for not following stuff that you know works) You'll get a killer instinct for producing results.
ANYTHING that isn't moving you in the direction you want is fucked off immediately. This transfers over to your personal life when you start eliminating a lot of your own versions of 'The girl that isn't DTF but stays with you because she likes the stimulation & attention from a high value guy'.
chazthundergut 5y ago
I have a pet theory that cannabis puts you into a feminine frame. It also lowers discipline
I don't understand how or why but I have noticed it many times.
If you want to maximize your growth as a man, you must not smoke more than once or twice a month. And I'm saying this as a big fan of our plant allies
ArdAtak 5y ago
Very true. I noticed this too. Almost like "Oh, so THAT is what such and such looks like to girls."
chazthundergut 5y ago
Yes precisely. It puts you into a feminine state of mind.
Good for creativity and seeing things from new angles. Bad for daily use
Questionnaire7 5y ago
There are certainly better ways to go about this, particularly in how you approached women outside the bar (don't self deprecate or reveal such internal weaknesses). But Im glad you are out there doing it and I know you will get better.
UnbreakableButts 5y ago
Weed makes me feel emotions and I fucking hate those.
BurnoutRS 5y ago
Car accident survivor. Recovering from brain and spinal cord injuries. About 3 years in. Marijuana is my life blood in some ways. Its also a double edged sword. I started doing drugs at thirteen and my use certainly wasnt medicinal. At least, not in terms of medicating the way I understand it now. In some ways you might liken the experimentation of my youth as me seeking a remedy to my inexperience. I certainly believe that nothing good comes from regretting my past so I do my best to ensure that time wasnt wasted and that the lessons remain.
I struggle with the remaining psychological framework of addiction as I try to retool it into a model that moreso resembles responsible medicinal use. Im pretty fucking successful at doing this sometimes. I keep a daily journal of my use. I weigh and record the amount of weed I consume and record my intentions for consuming. I do my best to differentiate between when Im really in pain or having trouble getting through the day because of my symptoms, and when Im starting to slip back into that burnout mindset.
If you really think about it, everything is a drug. At least, everything you experience is a result of chemical reactions taking place within your neurochemistry. Some people reward themselves by sitting down to watch an episode of a mindless sitcom after a hard days work. Some people study sitcoms and go on to become successful writers. Some people smoke weed and play cod with a vibrating fleshlight rigged to their cock and porn going on the other monitors so they can flood their system with as much chemical stimulation as possible. I cant lift without cannabis in my system, otherwise my migraines start getting really pronounced and I get vertigo. Not good when youre moving heavy shit around. Glad I had the sense in highschool to funnel some of my money into setting up a homegym. Way easier to burn one mid workout if my heads starting to get bad.
ZachMeadows 5y ago
Hum... I'll share my opinion.
You may be in the exceptionnal case where I won't hastily judge the use of weed. But even then, pain is a symptom that you need to treat. Your use of weed seems like the equivalent of popping pain killing pills.
I really wish you can find a way to cure your headaches (and others sources of pain) so that you can attempt to detach yourself from it. Everything that clouds one's mind and judgement holds him back.
Wiry_Wireman 5y ago
Yeah I've bee using an app to track when I smoke. It's not, "Am I pure?" or "Am I an addict?" but rather, "Am I smoking more or less than a year ago? A month ago? A week ago? Yesterday?" and, "How do I feel about that? Am I making progress, however slow?"
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Loze1 5y ago
I'm a daily smoker. I've got to completely internalize TRP principles before even approaching women. Also, I've got no motivation to do that because of the quality of women that are around me. I've decided to go monk mode(nofap) until I've got my shit sorted out.
Yeah, smoking is holding me back a little. Working shift is stressing and fucks with my sleep pattern. I smoke indica before I go to sleep and it helps. Sativa while reading, watching a movie or hanging out with a pal. I'm gonna stop smoking soon, by force. Either that or I lose out on a better job.
Weed did help me cut out the other vices in my life. On "character building" days, the force of state change makes it easier to bear. I'm replacing weed with meditation, slowly. It's a long, uphill battle but I'll reach another milestone soon.
Wiry_Wireman 5y ago
Good luck bro, we're all gonna make it.
xdrunkagainx 5y ago
Pre workout plus weed makes running a lot more fun. Also the receptors for runners high is the same as THC so you start in the zone.
Wiry_Wireman 5y ago
I drank a preworkout drink, "Amino Energy + Electrolytes (Optimum Nutrition)" just last week, then smoked a onie, then ran for 10 miles. It was bliss.
xdrunkagainx 5y ago
I gave amino energy a try, it's just expensive kool-aid IMO. I've had better luck with C4 and it's cheap at Costco.
omega_fat 5y ago
Quit that shit. It's a loser drug.
Andgelyo 5y ago
Don’t know why you’re being downvoted, weed causes most people to be unproductive. Anything that causes being unproductive is for losers.
CreateANewAccount___ 5y ago
Unproductive people use weed. Weed does not make people unproductive.
That’s a clutch for the lazy who don’t want to make real life changes. If used properly, weed is an incredible tool.
Wiry_Wireman 5y ago
I downvoted him for shit-tier advice. This post was in response to another post (deleted by the mods) with that same type of shit-tier advice. "Quit it, you're a loser" doesn't help an addict. It's not practical.
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DrMrJrSr 5y ago
MOST people, not ALL people.
Some of us know how to utilize properly to achieve our goals, don't group us in with the umotivated.
Andgelyo 5y ago
Nah fuck weed, that shit is a temporary fix only. That shit ain’t red pill at all. Nearly everyone of my friends who smoke weed don’t do jack shit with their lives. I can guarantee you that they have some underlying deep rooted problems.
DrMrJrSr 5y ago
Well duh, because they use it as a crutch to not get shit done homie. You should know well enough by now that anything can be addictive when you have an addictive personality, which is probably what they have. I have it too, and it took me years to realize that I had to moderate if I wanted to get things done. I still smoke occasionally with friends over the weekend (If it's scheduled), but I make sure I get my shit done first. Don't knock a plant that has saved countless lives and inspired cult classic albums just because your bullshit friends don't know how to regulate, that's not fair and you know it.
Andgelyo 5y ago
The only exception is medicinal weed. I work in health care and I approve of that shit. It helps with Parkinsons I believe. Other than people who absolutely need it, fuck it. Fuck drugs in general.
DrMrJrSr 5y ago
I don't knock you, you're entitled to live your life as you see fit, just as I do mine. We have different methods of obtaining success, yet we both still succeed.
LIKELYST0NED 5y ago
I've smoked weed every day for the past 3 years and I can definitely say that at first it threw my game off; usually because I would overthink and hold back in conversation. Now I just tell the girl straight up that I'm baked so if I'm "acting funny" that's why, and it usually makes everything more chill granted she isn't against it lol. But now I just dab, which I personally feel gives me less of a tired feeling and less anxiety compared to actually smoking. A lot of my anxiety from smoking actual herb came from worrying if people could smell the weed off my breath or whatever, but dabbing solved that issue too.
Questionnaire7 5y ago
I can agree with that. Dabbing is a lot cleaner, though the high from flowers is a lot stronger (not in potency, in the effects of the high).
Dabs are still a game killer for me. Any form of THC or all the other empathogens Ive tried
ArdAtak 5y ago
Weed is the biggest game killer for me. All my charm, wit, and confidence goes out the window. It causes me to overthink and worry instead of free flowing and having outcome independance.
It DOES occasionally help when a girl is already into you because you focus on them more intently and I tend to be too aloof at times. But for initial approach and building attraction it can be kryptonite.
Questionnaire7 5y ago
I get the same effects. I realized that my pre TRP Beta years were mostly fueled by the effects of all the THC I was pile-driving into my body.
mamaknulare 5y ago
For me aswell. Am travelling now but before I went I was with this girl a couple of days before I left, since she was OK with it I smoked but that is the last time I smoke with a girl who I'm not 100% comfortable with. I could literally feel the Attraction go away
zeekt12 5y ago
Huge game killer bro. I was at the mall one time and completely ripped. Some girl approached me at the store and i couldnt keep the conversation going because i was too out of it.
And yes i agree, if a girl is already into you and you smoke together, its fine.
Smoking before a gym sesh is fucking amazing tho ngl
Wiry_Wireman 5y ago
Too true. Personally, I've found that switching to a sativa-only strain has helped me achieve more of an "active" and extroverted high compared to hybrids which left me feeling more burnt out and introspective. I also usually only take a couple puffs at a time from a one hitter rather than monstrous bowl hits.
Questionnaire7 5y ago
Have fun with your sativa access. In illegal states we only get Indica because of the higher profit margins.
BobbyPeru 5y ago
Sativa makes anxiety worse for me... but it effects people differently. I don’t personally find weed conducive at all to approaching
PlateTheory 5y ago
Interesting, been experiencing lately that weed turned me off. Might try a sativa strain as well great tip :)
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