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- Hide Preview | 85 Comments | submitted 6 months ago by AreOut [Post Locked]

Whenever girls say something like this, especially when you haven't even asked them explicitly about getting into relationship :

"I want (just) to be friends"

"You are nice but not my type of a guy, we can be friends if you want"

"I would like to have a boyfriend like you but it's better that we become friends"

they do not want you to be friend with them, because all of these things sound like "you just aren't a worthy person" and they very well DO know how that sounds. It simply isn't a way to start a genuine friendship. And while intersexual friendships do exist (although those are very rare), I guarantee you not a single one started like that. Friendship is something that includes respect and starts spontaneously, not with explaining your "friend" how unworthy he is.

What these girls want is an ego boost, they want you to constantly ask them about getting more than a friendship and of course they'll constantly reject you and brag around to their friends how they have guys who would like to be with them but they are just too worthy.

And if you start treating her like your other friends which means joking with her, asking her for help or similar she'll suddenly lose interest in "friendship" and run away without even explaining why.

Conclusion : if you stumble upon a girl who is an egomaniac just start treating her as a real friend and she'll automatically leave, you don't have to ask yourself if you have done something wrong, because it's up to her not up to you. Such person will never be happy in her life and you better not become part of it so consider yourself saved.

[-] wmap99 147 Points 6 months ago

I can see 3 fucking years of my life wasted.

[-] [deleted] 90 Points 6 months ago

Yup, took me 2 1/2 years of running after a beautiful young lady, driving her miles home from work at night when I had work early the next morning, going on trips abroad, taking her out to restaurants, before I realised I had to cut her off completely.

I thought I was in love, but she made it clear from the start she just wanted a friend. I thought if I was the nicest guy she might fall for me. Nope, she was chasing older, wealthier guys the whole time.

I am testament to the guy that failed to be ruthless enough to cut out ladies that weren't into me. Chasing the dream might work for one in a million - but all it did was burn years of my life and gain me nothing.

Rule one: if she's not into you, do not proceed.

[-] grumpieroldman 38 Points 6 months ago

I spent the formative years of high-school pining for a intelligent, blonde beauty that turned down a promise ring from me because she wanted to ride the cock-carousel (at her mother's urging not to settle down young, since she did and regretted doing so.) She lost her virginity to a 'bad boy' next then her family moved and she started college, dated a new bad boy, graduated, came to find me and I was already married, she went back and married bad boy #2, he abused her, and she killed herself a couple years later. Never made it to 30.

[-] BewareTheOldMan 18 Points 6 months ago

This is the dark side and potential reality of the Cock Carousel. It's not just harmless fun.

I once heard a woman relate a similar story to a room full of young women as she discussed herself and a young female friend in their earlier years. As young ladies they were both dating hardcore and violent drug-dealers. One of the young women did not survive the relationship.

The woman (now much older) was relating the story as a cautionary tale to young women who think dating hardcore criminals and Bad Boys is "fun" and an early-youth rite of passage.

[-] WetLikeMyJumperTho 11 Points 6 months ago

The thing is though it's in their nature to want the strongest and baddest of boys they can be with. The tingles they get from their guy being mysterious and doing shady shit is unmatched by anything another can give them. Which is why despite all the warnings they get from older women who have gone through it before they still actively seek these types

[-] AllahHatesFags 8 Points 6 months ago

At least your story had a happy ending.

[-] omega_dawg93 36 Points 6 months ago

damn. but if you're good at spinning 'plates,' you can keep broads in a "just fucking" rotation for years.

just like we spin plates for sex, women spin plates for time. if she could have kept you in that spot, she would... using YOU for time and giving sex to guys she wanted to fuck.

but don't blame her... she was doing what females INSTINCTIVELY do. they can get dick any time they want it. what they want (without giving up sex) is a man's time, attention, & resources; that's how they 'use' men.

[-] OracleofFl 11 Points 6 months ago

You make an interesting point that being friend zoned by a chick is the same thing as a guy plating a chick. Guys don't put chicks into the friend zone, they put them into the plating zone. Chicks use guys as emotional tampons and their personal Uber service, while guys use the chicks...uh....differently.

[-] omega_dawg93 12 Points 6 months ago

women constantly seek validation for their... looks, decisions, emotions, looks, emotions, looks, decisions, emotions, and uh, looks. and emotions.

they just want to 'matter' in as many people's lives as they can, esp. men. when they can get non-sexual attention, they'll use up as many people as possible to get it... and they don't care if a man 'plays himself' by giving up his time, attention, resources, & emotions. she'll just call you, "friend."

but when it's time to get that sexual attention, she's calling chad and/or tyrone to DNA spray her vagina. it's simply AF vs BB.

[-] TheStoicCrane 2 Points 6 months ago

Honestly it shouldn't be Chad anymore. It should be Tyler with the Black counterpart being Tyrone. Tyler/Tyrone.

[-] GL_QUAD 3 Points 6 months ago

but don't blame her... she was doing what females INSTINCTIVELY do.

Should I not blame her? Well, she can go to hell. Could I afford the luxury of not exercising my self-awareness, choosing to live in that blissful ignorance instead? Could you? Where would we be if we were running around with no self-awareness? Do hold women to the same standards as men... and if they don't reach these standards, they can go fuck themselves (metaphorically).

if she could have kept you in that spot, she would... using YOU for time and giving sex to guys she wanted to fuck.

Well, that is the worst of it! The good-natured, clueless good boy, that is the one who gives her attention and lets himself get used & lied to, he just enables such dynamic in the first place. Think about that! If there were no good boy to give her his time, attention & (unrequited) affection, the other part of her dynamic (i.e. getting railed by some fuckboy) would not be there, as her prerequisite needs to get railed would not be saturated in the first place.

TL;DR: good boys are unknowingly cucking themselves by their own actions; men, collectively, need to grow some spines & tell (some) women to go fuck themselves (metaphorically speaking).

[-] juhanlaas 2 Points 6 months ago

Should you not blame her? Well, you can, but as said, she was doing what females instinctively do. It's like blaming a cat for killing a mouse and bringing it home to you. It's in the cat's nature. You may not like it, sure, but you can't overwrite someone's instincts. You can either accept that women are like this and use their weaknesses against them (TRP), you can leave women behind and live without them (MGTOW) or you can keep pointing out how unfair and stupid this dynamic is (MRA).

I get that it sucks to be friend zoned. And that's why we're here: To learn from this. To avoid making the same mistakes again. But we can't realistically assume that all men will change in order to break this dynamic. What we CAN do is be the other side of the dynamic: "The Chad".

TL;DR: You, as an individual, can outshine any spineless man & tell (some) women to come fuck their own brains out on your dick (almost literally speaking). That's what TRP is about, in my opinion.

[-] magx01 2 Points 6 months ago

But then isn't him blaming her in his nature?

[-] GL_QUAD 2 Points 6 months ago

It's like blaming a cat for killing a mouse and bringing it home to you. It's in the cat's nature. You may not like it, sure, but you can't overwrite someone's instincts.

So you essentially sayin' that women are like... cats?

While I agree that there is some truth to your perspective, depending on the person and/or the situation, your explanation is brought to the extreme. At least some people would disagree with the notion that they are mere pawns on a chessboard.

Maybe I want to get myself a woman with some self-awareness to her. I found such ones more enjoyable anyway.

[-] WetLikeMyJumperTho 16 Points 6 months ago

You went on overseas trips and never even got to beat, damnnn. Better late than never to see the truth I guess

[-] [deleted] 31 Points 6 months ago

Some guys never see it, so at least you have that

[-] lobstergenocide 27 Points 6 months ago

That or they end up “getting the girl” when she’s in her mid thirties with kids and needs someone to pay her bills

[-] WellShit23 8 Points 6 months ago

Lucky guys right. I can almost envision them following their wife at the mall, one step behind her, shoulders slumped and secretly hoping for death.

[-] [deleted] 6 months ago
[-] GumRum 22 Points 6 months ago

Me too brother, reality is better than the beta illusion we had. Take solace in that, improve and become the best version of yourself you can be.

[-] Philosophipster 10 Points 6 months ago

Three seems like a lot when you’re young. Imagine wasting 50. Enjoy life, mate, you are lightyears ahead already ;)

[-] [deleted] 6 months ago
[-] PepinoSF 62 Points 6 months ago

It is a straight face request to became orbiter. In other words "I allow you to adore me in exchage of my nothing and you will not see a pussy any time soon"

[-] [deleted] 13 Points 6 months ago

[deleted]

[-] PepinoSF 10 Points 6 months ago

woman know why you talk to them, you should not be waiting for anyone. Anyway I responded to this because you don’t even have to talk about exchanges if you put a little effort into weeding people out.

Woman perfectly know that she is wasting your time, but don't give a flying fuck. Contrary - they will gladly see how far you can go to trying to please them.

And I responded to the OPs question, because he was asking what friendzone actually means. Weather will next the slut or not is tactical decision. Sometimes "lets just be friends" is a shit test, not a confession and hard nexting is not the most beneficial decision.

[-] Odins-left-eye 57 Points 6 months ago

It's funny how women are constantly (correctly) reminding men that we aren't entitled to have any sort of physical intimacy with them, but then so often turn around and act entitled to our friendship. I see women all the time complaining about "Johnny unfriended me on Facebook just because I didn't want to go out with him! What a toxic, fragile pig!" Oh, really? He quietly decided that he would rather not retain you haunting the periphery of his life and this is an injury for which you are owed?

It's no wonder women get mad when we don't want to be "friends" with them after a rejection. They're losing something of value. They know they can count on such guys to be their personal, complementary furniture movers, tire changers, and taxi drivers. A man who won't "put out" friendship without some form of actual valuable relationship in return is akin to a woman who won't put out sex on the first date.

[-] [deleted] 52 Points 6 months ago

Yep thats right, most women don't want anything other than an ego boost.

You're disposable at the end of the day and your cock is replaceable, thats why you build yourself

[-] [deleted] 6 months ago
[-] MattyAnon 43 Points 6 months ago

What these girls want is an ego boost, they want you to constantly ask them about getting more than a friendship and of course they'll constantly reject you and brag around to their friends how they have guys who would like to be with them but they are just too worthy.

Even "genuine" friendship with women goes one way - it'll always be you putting more in than she does. It's why women are so keen to have male friends.

"LJBF" means "No" and that's fine. Next.

[-] [deleted] 15 Points 6 months ago

[deleted]

[-] MattyAnon 24 Points 6 months ago

and she's a genuinely good friend

This is exceptionally rare. The vast majority of women are takers.

[-] [deleted] 11 Points 6 months ago

I find its often SMV related. Even if its insencere. Some people are just so attractive that being in their presence is validation.

[-] We_Are_Legion 3 Points 6 months ago

What you're describing is not going to be most people's experience. And there's a simple reason:

Women are not incentivized to be good friends to former orbiters.

For most men, women that you are "friendzoned" by typically have other sources of validation besides you. Meanwhile, if you stayed "friends" with her despite having your real desires frustrated, this decision (while not by itself damning) is usually motivated by some inner neediness that most men have. That neediness just broadcasts that your needs can safely be ignored.

It turns one-sided fast.

Most men are not emotionally cognizant enough to negotiate the benefits of friendship out of women they're being friendzoned by. They don't even know that women's friendship is just as conditional as their love; feelings based.

tl;dr women are not good friends unless you can incentivize them to be.

[-] Skyhawk_And_Skyhead 1 Point 6 months ago

If a woman is being a good friend to you, she wants to fuck you. NOTE: Just because she wants to doesnt mean she will

[-] [deleted] 3 Points 6 months ago

[deleted]

[-] Skyhawk_And_Skyhead 3 Points 6 months ago

Because women aren't men. Out thought process goes "I want it, I dont think it will hurt me in the long run, therefore I do it." A womans goes something like this "i want it, but I dont want to want it, but I'm horny, but what would my friends think but hes cute but what if I dont want it later but i want it now but etc etc etc." The hamster can go many places, but it's never logical

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 6 months ago

[deleted]

[-] Skyhawk_And_Skyhead 1 Point 6 months ago

You are going to die. You have 20 or 25 years of your sexual prime to enjoy, if you're lucky. You're right, you shouldn't care. You spent more than 1% of your time pining after a chick who was unreliable.

Another way to put this in perspective. I've been with around 20 women since I've bought my 2006 beat to shit KIA. What this means, is that 20 women have proven themselves to be less reliable than one of the least reliable cars sold in america. And the KIA costs a lot less. Would you trade even 3 months of your time for a used KIA?

[-] [deleted] 6 months ago
[-] BurnoutRS 32 Points 6 months ago

The way I think about it is this:

The closest, most dear friends I have, are the people that I share peak experiences with. Going for a hike to check out a scenic view, hitting prs in the gym, watching a good movie. Now when it comes to your guy friends, unless youre a homosexual, the cutoff for peak experience is just before it gets sexual. You can brodown as hard as you want as long as nobody is sucking each other off.

When it comes to women its different. There is no sexual cutoff, and the ultimate peak experience you can have with her is to rail her.

So if you had a guy friend, that you really only see through work, casually, you dont really do anything together, or the things you actually do, fall short of peak experience, thats an aqquaintance. Thats someone you associate with.

So if you have this girl friend, who you only see in every context except a sexual one, and everything you do falls short of that peak, sexual experience, thats an aqquaintance, an associate, someone you know.

By my logic the only way you can really be friends with a woman is if youre fucking her. Or if she's fat

[-] GL_QUAD 2 Points 6 months ago

That is quite an insightful way of thinking about the issue!

However, what if the woman in question is off limits? E.g.:

  • She is with someone else, and it matters (bro's before ho's)
  • Your or her SMV is just not high enough

If I can share a peak experience with her (a non-sexual one), I'll take that. Very, very few women are capable of that, though (most of them are boring, "takers", and they play it safe). That is, if she can't offer her body, she ought to offer some other peak experience, as you say; unfortunately, many a woman have nothing to offer in that regard.

Also, your definition of acquaintance - usually what I'd call a boring person. Because, fuck, even if you are just formally working with each other, these are some long hours to be spent together. Long hours may equal to a slow death (in that "not living" office zombie kind of sense); I'd, however, prefer to stir things up here and there, so as to squeeze something out of life (within reasons, if the environment is constrained to that, of course; or just by quitting that boring job and getting a more engaging one).

[-] BurnoutRS 3 Points 6 months ago

No woman is off limits. If your smv is currently too low then you can take steps to raise it. The only limitations are the ones you impose upon yourself. The only actions you are unwilling to take are the ones whose perceived consequences you deem unbearable and choose not to suffer.

[-] GL_QUAD 2 Points 6 months ago

The only limitations are the ones you impose upon yourself. The only actions you are unwilling to take are the ones whose perceived consequences you deem unbearable and choose not to suffer.

Very philosophically worded. Very strange notion of morality.

I'd call it not being an idiot. In my case... it'd entail losing my job, losing my friendships, tarnishing my reputation, possibly getting in a fistfight (or worse), bouts of depression (not on my side) and, basically, being done, along with messing it up for others. All for a fleeing embrace of a woman that I'm not 100% compatible with in the first place?

Sometimes, when you look around, you see this spider-web of inter-personal relations. And sometimes, when quite aware of the surroundings, you can anticipate how pulling one of the strings of such web would send the whole thing crashing down. And why would I do that?

Please, don't take these fringe ideologies full-on, like there is no tomorrow (because then, there might not be one).

[-] BurnoutRS 1 Point 6 months ago

if you felt the need to type this response, then you entirely misinterpreted my post. it directly states "the only actions you are unwilling to take are those whose perceived consequences you deem unbearable and choose not to suffer"

I didnt tell you to do anything, nor did I imply any actions I take myself. I have revealed nothing to you about my sense of morality, merely the foundation upon which morality is built.

[-] GL_QUAD 2 Points 6 months ago

if you felt the need to type this response, then you entirely misinterpreted my post.

Did I misinterpret you? Let's see...

I hinted at a generic case of a woman just being "off limits". You replied with that boilerplate response of that actions/consequences tradeoff. I followed by describing a concrete example of where such a boilerplate notion would be useless, as the whole endeavor would come crashing down as an epic disaster.

What I'm trying to say... your boilerplate philosophy, while essentially still unmatched and unshaken, can, and does, sound a liiiiiiiiiitle bit silly and out of touch with reality, when applied to some specific cases. I.e. you are too smart for your own good.

[-] [deleted] 5 months ago
[-] ArchetypicalDegen 29 Points 6 months ago

I think their intentions are fine. I doubt they'd put much effort into a friendship like that.

The thing is though, it's bad to stick around someone that rejected you. You'll always have a bit of insecurity surrounding them. "Why wasn't I good enough?" "Do I still have a chance?"

I've had oneitis and it's honestly the worst feeling. You become so insecure.

[-] [deleted] 3 Points 6 months ago

[deleted]

[-] ArchetypicalDegen 3 Points 6 months ago

Yeah, my ex girlfriend had a habit of being like the last option to her male friends. She was always flirty enough that she had plausible deniability, but dudes could read into it and think "she likes me."

She was crazy for attention.

[-] metallica11 26 Points 6 months ago

Yup. They will always leave you to priorize their imperative. EVEN if they are a decent girl that does maintain a good friendship (Being loyal, not taking advantage of you, having your back, etc), that friendship is doomed to fail. What happens when she needs to settle down and start a family. her priority will be family. that means moving careers, being with her husband, and eventually kids. and you suddenly can't hang out with her 1:1 becuase its "weird" because she is married.

​

You could know ALL her secrets. Be friends for 10+ years. Seen her vulnerably more than any other guy. go on vacations with her.

​

yet, you will be tossed to the side for some random guy she has known for only 2 years because she had no attraction for you but needs to get "married" and settle down to start a family. suddenly you aren't allowed to hang out 1:1, because hubby doesn't approve and she needs to prioritize her children. or move across the state.

​

the strangeness of seeing her prioritizing a seemingly random guy she just met over you, when you know far more about her, is just downright eery.

​

​

[-] red_powder 5 Points 6 months ago

I'd argue that in situations like this where a problem arises, the friendship was never really genuine on the guy's part. Even guy friends often withdraw from friendships as their girlfriends domesticate them. They'll drop plans last-minute because it's the girl's nephew's birthday, when you do see them they'll be dragging their anchors along, etc. But this isn't usually a problem long-term, because we understand that prioritizing your mate is standard practice for bluepillers, and that our friends remain our friends, if in different capacities. We might be pissed at first, but we fill in the gaps and move on. If instead, a guy finds himself deeply bitter and/or confused that his buddy is prioritizing a girl he met just a couple of years ago, even though he knows his buddy better -- knows "ALL his secrets" and has seen his "vulnerability" more than her -- then there's a nonzero chance he's gay.

[-] ocean_of_spunk 1 Point 6 months ago

I just realized that comments in a quarantined sub can't be gilded.

Thank you so much for this.

[-] Mr-Ed209 17 Points 6 months ago

It's such a bizarre dynamic, and fundamentally why relationships are not at all what they're cracked up to be.

​

Sometimes (often) friend zone is sheerly exploitative. And sometimes it comes about from a girls loss of interest once she realises a guy likes her and wants a relationship with her. Women always crush on the guy who is just not quite available to them, because that's what appeals to hypergamy. Nothing displays that a guy has lower or equal value to a chick than him actually wanting to date and be in a relationship with her. It could be a friend who isn't an orbiter 'always there for her type' - or a close male friend who she texts all the time, but he happens to have a girlfriend or distance, or some other limiting factor that keeps the relationship at bay.

​

It's so important to maintain your frame and value within womens eyes. It's funny how all the times I've been subject to bashing and downright nastiness from women was when I was seen as a beta nice guy - my only crime being value lowering 'good' behaviour. Conversely, I've never been called out for my shitty behaviour while I maintain value within their eyes.

​

Patrice O'Neal always said it best. Women are abusive creatures, because their sexual selection is dependent on it.

[-] grumpieroldman 11 Points 6 months ago

I can't say I've ever had a woman as a friend where it was worth it. It's hard enough to find male friends that will actually help you out when you can use it; women? phhh. lol.

Your wife needs female friends to help her out when she needs it. e.g. My wife has a good friend that has actually helped her a lot getting the house in order so we no longer lived in a pig sty. At one point in her life she needed a place to stay for a few months so we set her up a room - which was clean and available because our house wasn't a pig sty anymore! If she was just my friend and not my wife's friend then that move would be a dread-level 11; lol, moving another woman into the house. (I almost wish my marriage was bad right now so I could see the look on her face ... almost. "This is our new nanny!")

The only reason to ramp up a "female friendship" is if you need to hamster your wife to rope her back into the marriage or compel her to step up her game. And you want to make some significant changes to be a better man and father before you do that. Not necessarily a better husband, yet. That comes next once you finally break the no-negotiations barrier and you both agree to prioritize your marriage and be better spouses. (You want to lead her down the road of "we're doing this together" not "you're a pos standing in my shadow, now suck my cock" even though she knows it was you that changed everything for the better.)

[-] BobbyPeru 9 Points 6 months ago

Ha this is 100% true from my experience. I’ve tried to be friend with 2 women who had sexual interest in me (I wasnt into them), and literally as soon as I came to each of them with an issue, they ghosted me - both of them.

[-] Demiurge_Decline 9 Points 6 months ago

Just wake up and realize OVER half the planet is the female species and 90% of them need you more than you need them. The illusion of scarcity is what keeps you in this pattern. Go to a sport arena. Look around. Say over half are females. Multiply by that by millions... Done.

[-] 10211799107 8 Points 6 months ago

You cant be friends with a woman. Ever. Unless she's a hardcore lesbian and pays her own way each time. But that's rare as shit.

[-] Dead_Art 7 Points 6 months ago

Dated a girl for a few weeks who then ghosted me after sending mixed signals, I went monk mode and got my shit back together and met her at a bar a year later. She was awkward until I assured her I didn't give a shit anymore and said we could be friends

Next night I get a text telling me to come out to the bar down the road winky face

The conversation went something like this:

Me: I thought you were into Game of Thrones, the new episode is premiering RIGHT NOW.

Her: Oh I haven't caught up on last season yet

Me: Go home right now and watch it, wtf dude this shit is EPIC

Her: We can watch it later, come out and have a drink with me!

Me: New Game of Thrones is on RIGHT NOW, you can come over here but I'm watching this shit right now

Never heard from her again

[-] Brickles09 5 Points 6 months ago

She ghosted you twice, then.

​

[-] U-94 6 Points 6 months ago

I actually like the girls I'm friends with and I understand I will never like the ones who will sleep with me. Tis the way of the world.

[-] 1BadassStoryteller 5 Points 6 months ago

What time frame does this occur to you guys? Like where are you in your life where girls are trying to friend zone you? Genuine curiosity. The only time I was getting friend zoned was in high school and that's because I wasn't clear with my intentions and I was a very typical "nice guy."

I have hooked up with many girls where we were "friends" before, but that was more like years down the road and we bumped into each other at a party or whatever. But I was never really pursuing them or anything, it just kind of happened. (But just know, once that door is open, it's open. Your friendship is pretty much over and will never be the same if you go that route.)

Just be clear with your intentions. If you're trying to date and get with a girl and she says "Let's be friends," tell her nah, you have enough friends already. If it's not a test, then cut your loss and move on. Being "nice" and "friends" will get you nowhere, it's dishonest, and you'll just wind up being frustrated at nobody but yourself.

[-] rosbergsessa420 4 Points 6 months ago

99% of man-woman friendships are useless and essentially a waste of time for the man.

Women have an underlying, hidden intention in all of their moves. They couldn't care less about the dude they claim to be friends with, they are just waiting for the moment this guy becomes the ultimate alpha (or gets rich) so they can suddenly start to "feel weird" and try to lock him in. They will just use him as yet another validation shortcut.

if you want friends, get male friends. you skip the whole gossip part, they wont convince they hate you entirely in a matter of a few hours, they wont manipulate you with pussy.

[-] CountVP 4 Points 6 months ago

Been there with a ten, and actually fucked her. We met in 2012 on a school trip, I fell in love with her. Befriended her and waited one entire year for a chance. Once i got it we had sex and i never felt more happy in my life, as I thought we would get in a relationship. Turns out she just wanted to fuck, and she was a big whore. Waited months for another chance, but it never came. After she told me how she fucked a guy upon meeting him for the first time I realizide how stupid I was being, and cut her out of my life. Some people are slow learners, but now I’ll never waste this much time trying to get someone

[-] CrikeyKay 4 Points 6 months ago

Spent half my life in friend zones, never again.

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[-] saibot83 3 Points 6 months ago

Don't be any woman's time ho. Young me (horribly blue pill) honestly tried to genuinely be friends with girls. I listened to them, gave input and advice on their problems. When I tried to talk to them about my problems in life they grew cold and distant before shunning me entirely. That's when I realized there is no such thing as male/female friendship. I have female colleagues or classmates I say hello to if I meet them out on the town but we're not friends.

[-] Skyhawk_And_Skyhead 3 Points 6 months ago

I am of the mind that intersexual friendships can only be formed if both people met before puberty. With the exception of a man being a homosexual.

[-] mchief101 3 Points 6 months ago

I had a similar situation but i slammed mine at least 30 times and on top of that received many handjobs. We cut it off cause she found a bf...sucks for me and im not sure if she remembers me

[-] rosbergsessa420 7 Points 6 months ago

Most likely she doesn't. Women have a scary ability to forget people they had sex with (because they have access to so many more at any given moment), today you can be the love of her life and tomorrow she just doesnt "feeeel" the same way and switch to hating you entirely.

[-] [deleted] 6 months ago
[-] MurkyArtichoke 3 Points 6 months ago

I'm in this kind of situation right now with this girl, and i think i'm going to test out if she loses interest in a "friendship" if i only treat her as a genuine friend, like you said. We tried to date some months ago, but ultimately she told me the classic "you are nice, but i think it's best if we are just friends". After that, i cut contact, then met her out one night and we talked and i felt like we flirted and stuff. Dumb as i was, i texted her next day, but it was evident in our convo that she wasn't keen on talking much. Just had very boring and bland replies. Months later i meet her in the bar, and i just talked to her normally and didn't care much. To my surprise, she then starts texting me a few days after. I of course immediately think that she might be interested in trying again, and that it was just bad timing last time!

One day she says we could hangout if i wanted to or something. I ask her to go to lunch with me at a place, and she agrees but asks if we can eat at my place instead. "Damn, it's happening", i thought. We go to my place, and i try some light kino, but she is just cold and doesn't give any IOI's at all. She still texts me regularly now. I went drinking one night, and she texted me, and i just felt like it, so i straight up asked if she was looking to just be friends or something more. She said "just friends", and apologized if she gave the impression of something more. She still texts me though, and we have this tv-show we used to watch when we were seeing eachother, and we have talked about watching the new season sometime this week.

I think i'm gonna invite her over to watch, but then make no moves whatsoever. Will be interesting to see if she "leaves" the friendship when i act like this and don't give her attention. She has a lot of hot friends, so even if our friendship remains it could open some doors.

[-] QuiteRandomDUDE 2 Points 6 months ago

You know, there are guys in friendzone who decide to "remain friends" so they won't betray the friendship after being rejected, thinking they still have a chance or they are in a real friendship.

Been there, done that. Doesn't worth it. At all.

[-] BoGiggity32 2 Points 6 months ago

Brings to mind an old (now ex) friend and his oneitis. He blew his chance and got placed deep in the friend zone where he seems to have settled contently. To this day, years later, he continues to orbit her and like/comment on everything she does on social media, playing the role of supportive friend, privileged to be part of her circle. I dated her for a while and when he found out he disowned me as a friend completely, yet he will continue to cling to her even while shes being pummeled by me and every other guy who comes along. She strings him along for the validation but shes told me straight up how annoying and repulsive she finds him, and oftentimes treats him like total garbage. But he keeps coming back for more, unable to let go and move on from "the love of his life". She has him cucked to perfect slow-roast perfection.

Fellas, dont be this guy.

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[-] brotein_synthesis 2 Points 6 months ago

So you've been stung by unrequited love. Yeah, it's a part of life, yeah, it sucks. Boo hoo. Now f*cking get over it. Life goes on and nobody cares, don't forget you wear pants and piss standin.

[-] AreOut 3 Points 6 months ago

you missed the ball completely

[-] brotein_synthesis 2 Points 6 months ago

Nah, I didn't really mean you. I think people on this sub should stop whining, that's all.

[-] rogueman999 1 Point 6 months ago

I was that guy. Now I'm the guy they fuck while their guy friends write novels on messenger.

Can confirm everything OP says, especially the "rare" part. I think the only real female friends I have are married within our social circle. Anything else, and there's always a question mark: could it be something? Is she using the possibility to get favors from me? But it could just be that I'm paranoid for having been burned.

[-] cuteshooter 1 Point 6 months ago

If there's occasional dates, trips, and favors (drive her somewhere, next time she's the guy's social proof) but also regular (weekly?) nude sleeping, often with sweaty orgasms for one or both, but, no penetration, is this the friendzone? How to define this type of relationship?

[-] [deleted] 6 months ago
[-] [deleted] 6 months ago
[-] Ubermensch33 1 Point 6 months ago

All you need to know:

https://youtu.be/rTEJiLvKOfQ?t=636

[-] QuirkyDoctor 1 Point 6 months ago

Thanks for the message brother! I'm glad I've known this truth for a while, and your post served as a great reminder. It's quite sad, but it is the truth. My only regret is that I wish I found TRP while I was in high school.

[-] punchyson 1 Point 6 months ago

There are different types of LBJF.

If the woman is into doing guy stuff, for example fishing, she may turn a guy down for a sexual relationship but keep him around as an LBJF male girlfriend for access to his skill/knowledge/resources that he brings.

[-] yomo86 1 Point 6 months ago

It is not even so hard to understand - even most women tend to actually mean 'being friends' in womenese. Let me explain: when a woman is friends with another women she usually gets 100% of her needs or close to it met. When both parties achieve 100 they are bffs.

Now: look Briffaults Law. As soon as her friend has provided value or she is not getting anything out of that friendship they will disband. My sister had vast amounts of bffs I still talk to my friends from elementary.

Male friends usually carry each other over an extended period of 'bad times'. That is a male definition. An agreement close to an insurance based on mutual sympathy.

Since most men are viewed as tools by women she will cut them lose as soon as they prove to provide her with no value on a cost/benefit analysis. Be an accountant? Do her taxes but never ask for help. So when women want to be friends instead of you humping her brains out it usually is a covert employment contract free of charge.