Clubs suck. They’re unbearably loud, half the people are trashed, and the women get approached by so many creepy guys that they’re going to assume you’re another creep until you prove otherwise.
Despite all this, beautiful women congregate in clubs by the thousands in any decent-sized city.
Clubs might suck, but if you want to hook up with a hot girl the same night you met her, there’s no better place to do so than a nightclub.
Do you want to sleep with the kind of girls that most guys only fantasize about? Yes? Then it’s in your best interest to learn how to successfully approach a girl in a club.
Clubs Are An Emotional Environment, Not A Logical Environment
Women go to clubs to have fun: if talking to you isn’t fun, you’re going to get rejected.
If most of the girls you approach say something to the effect of, “I have to use the bathroom,” or, “I have to find my friends,” what they’re really communicating to you is, “Talking to you isn’t fun, I’m out.”
If you’re not having fun, no ‘pickup line’ will make a girl like you. But if you are having fun, you can make almost line work. Take for example a few of the crazier pickup lines I’ve successfully used:
Me: “Are you from Tennessee?”
Her: “Why, because I’m the only ten you see?”
Me: “No, because you look like a child of incest.”
(She asked me for my number five minutes later).
Me: “Did it hurt?”
Her: “What, when I fell from heaven?”
Me: “No, when you fell and broke your face.”
Her: “You’re such an asshole!” (while laughing)
Me: “You’re hideous.”
Her: ‘bursts out in laughter’
(this only worked because she was extremely hot.)
Now, I don’t recommend calling a girl hideous or implying that she looks like a child of incest. However, the fact that absurd lines like those can work illustrates an important point: what you say doesn’t matter nearly as much as how you say it.
You can get away with just about any line if you say it in the spirit of fun. At the same time, even the best lines will get you rejected if you say them with even a hint of neediness.
To make sure you approach in a way that adds to the fun, ask yourself this simple question before you approach, “How can I make her night better?”
Asking this question will remind you that you’re approaching to offer value, not to get something from the girl. And if you approach to make her night better, there’s a significantly higher chance that she’ll respond to you positively.
If you’re thinking, “That’s cool, but what line should I use?” You can open with pretty much anything, but if you want a go-to opener, use this, “Hey, I like your style and I had to introduce myself.”
The above line is good because it starts the conversation on a positive note in a way that compliments her but not so overtly that you give away some of your power.
Make Her Feel Strong Emotions
Once you’ve started a conversation, how do you prevent the interaction from turning into a job interview? By inciting strong emotions.
An interview-style interaction is logical, it doesn’t go much deeper than:
“What do you do?”
“Where are you from?”
Flirting, in contrast, is emotional: it’s about creating and releasing tension. Flirting, at its core is push-pull, hot-cold, or positive-negative.
The mixture of hot and cold creates uncertainty. It makes the girl wonder, “Does he really like me or is he just talking to me to kill time?” This uncertainty is exciting for the girl, and if you do it well, it can make her feel sexual arousal.
Things that are “hot” (or positive) include:
- Holding strong eye-contact.
- Complimenting her.
- Approving of something she says, “You’re a nurse? That’s awesome.”
- Getting in close physical proximity to her.
- Touching her.
- Smiling/laughing.
- Actively listening to what she says.
Things that that are “cold” (or negative) include:
- Teasing her: “You’re smart for a California girl” (can substitute any state)
- Disqualifying her (You’re like the sister I never had, let’s climb trees and drink kool-aid!)
- Taking a step back to create physical space.
- Avoiding eye contact.
- Saying you have to leave soon.
- Taking away physical touch.
- Interrupting what she says.
- Disagreeing with her.
If you’re too “hot” (positive), the girl will feel like she has complete power over you: she’ll think that you would sleep with her no matter what she said. Being overly available implies you must not have much value.
If you’re too “cold” (negative), the girl will feel you don’t like her as a person. As such, she won’t enjoy interacting with you – so she’ll leave.
The power of hot and cold lies in finding the right balance. Each girl is different: some prefer a mostly hot interaction, others prefer a mostly cold interaction.
However, on average I’d say the best balance is about 80% hot and 20% cold. Overall, the interaction is positive, but you’re using some “cold” to create a sense of challenge and intrigue.
Of course, your conversation can’t be all “hot and cold”, you do need to structure the conversation around something.
The easiest way to do this is to memorize a few basic questions that you can ask every girl you approach. These questions aren’t inherently fascinating, but you can use them as a foundation to build your conversations from.
Here’s some examples of questions you might use:
“What do you do for fun?”
“What are you passionate about?”
“How ambitious are you?"
“Where are you from?”
Whenever she answers one of your questions, you can do one of three things:
1. Go deeper on that topic:
If she says she’s passionate about helping people, you can talk in-depth about how she wants to help people.
If she says she likes to hang out with friends for fun, you could say, “You seem like the type of girl who gets high with her friends and talks about philosophy”
2. Compliment her:
If she says she is ambitious and she’s working on becoming a published author, you could say, “That’s really cool. I can tell you’ve got the kind of crazy brain it takes to be a good writer.” (You could then follow up with a question about her writing to go deeper on that topic.)
3. Tease her:
If she says she’s from Texas, you could say, “Texas? That explains a lot.”
If you ask her what she does for fun and she says she likes to read, you could say, “How many times have you read 50 Shades of Grey?” (Implying she likes smutty romance novels)
Holding a conversation in a club isn’t complicated. The environment isn’t designed for deep, philosophical conversations. All you need to do is make the conversation emotionally engaging. Ask some basic questions to give the conversation structure, and when she answers those questions use pushes and pulls to create sexual tension.
Lead Hard
So far we’ve covered how to approach a girl in a night club and how to keep the conversation interesting. If you want anything sexual to happen with the girl, the next thing you need to do is lead hard.
In a club, you can’t just approach a girl and talk to her for a couple hours in the same area you met her.
Within five minutes of approaching a girl, you should invite her to hang out with you somewhere nearby. For example, you might say:
“Hey, let’s go dance for a minute.” “Let’s go to the outside area so I can actually hear you.” “Come meet my friends, they’re really cool.”
If the girl you approach likes you, she’ll probably be comfortable to leave her friend and move to another area of the club with you. If she won’t, you have three options:
- Invite her friends to come as well.
- Stick around with her for another 10 minutes or so before making another suggestion.
- Get her number and make plans to hang out with her later. If a girl isn’t willing to move a few feet away from her friends, there’s a good chance you’re not going to be able to bring her home with you. In that case, your best bet is to make plans for a date with her before moving on to another girl. Once you’ve lead the girl to another area of the club, you can get more physical (because her friends aren’t there to judge her).
You don’t need to make out with a girl in a club to take her home with you, but if you’re new to picking up girls in clubs, making-out can help build your self-confidence so that you feel comfortable going for the pull later.
Get Her Logistics
Make sure that if you’ve been talking to a girl for a good 15 minutes that you get her logistics. The simplest way to do this is to ask, “What are you doing later tonight?”
Her answer will give you a good idea as to how likely it is she’s going to go home with you that night. She might say something like,
“Nothing, what are you doing?” “I’m not sure yet.” An answer like that usually means the girl is down to hang out with you after the club closes.
If, however, she says:
“I’m going back home with my friends.” “I’m going to sleep soon, I have work early tomorrow.”
Answers like those indicate that she doesn’t want to go home with you that night. To be fair, this isn’t a hard rule, there are exceptions. (If your intuition says you can bring her home, don’t hesitate to go for it).
Generally, if you get a response like that, I recommend you just grab her number and approach another girl. Otherwise, you might spend your entire night talking to someone who doesn’t want what you want.
Go For The Close
If you think a girl is open to the possibility to going home with you, suggest that you and her hang out at your place. I like to use the lines:
“Hey, it’s way too loud here, let’s go get a drink somewhere we can actually have a conversation.”
You: Have you ever watched X movie/TV show?
Her: Nope, can’t say I have.
You: Are you serious? You have to see it, it’s amazing. Let’s go watch it.
Her: Right now?
You: Yeah, it’ll be fun.
If the girl’s down to sleep with you that night, you don’t need the smoothest line in the world to get her to agree to come home with you.
Once the girl has agreed to go back to your place, the rest should happen automatically.
Wrapping Up How To Pull A Girl From A Club
I’ve gone out to meet women in clubs with hundreds of guys – only a few of them have pulled attractive women home with them.
What’s the main reason these men fail to pull?
They just don’t take enough action. They approach one or two girls, get rejected, and then spend the rest of the night observing women instead of interacting with them.
If you want to bring girls home with you, keep in mind that most of your interactions aren’t going to lead anywhere. Even if you do everything right she might have a boyfriend, she might just not have chemistry with you, or she might be a lesbian. Don’t expect to pull one of the first few girls you approach.
A night out is marathon, not a sprint. It may take 10, 20, or even more approaches to meet a girl who you have mutual attraction with and who is interested in going home with you that night. Follow the four steps I outlined above and you will consistently be able to pull women home with you when you go out – so long as you stay out for at least a couple hours and keep approaching until you meet a girl who reciprocates your interest.
PS: I post infield footage daily on snapchat (approaches, makeouts, pulls) username: AveryGHayden
masterduelistky 5y ago
This past Saturday, I was in a gay club with some friends just having a good time, and this cute girl consistently was eye-fucking me from across the room, constantly pointing for me to come over to her. We ended up dancing a few times, but I could never actually touch her, must've been like sexual shame or something. I wish I would've been able to put these in practice. How can I actually get over this? The lack of being able to physically escalate, is what seems to kill me most all the time.
[deleted] 5y ago
"Do you want to get food?"
It also works as a mime if it's too loud to talk.
TRPKid 5y ago
I am currently living in Korea, and none of this guide applies over here.
It's so loud in the clubs in Korea, that making conversation is simply impossible. You have to cup your hands over the person's ear and yell if you want to be able to talk to them--so nobody is going to do it.
I've been told that Korean club and American club culture is different, and this makes me believe it. In korean clubs, everything is all about just finding a random person and start dancing with them. It's so fucking loud that theres no point in trying to talk. If they, within a couple of seconds, show the right body language or start dancing too, then you are good to go.
Different clubs attract different atmospheres. The type of clubs that koreans go to will vary on their personality and what they are into. For example, I get far better luck at grungry, hip hop clubs than I do nice EDM clubs. I really dont know why. The kind of girls are different, but no less attractive.
Most Koreans dont speak good English. If they do, great, then you have it easy. If they dont, and you went out of the club and can now talk with each other, then that's where your kino/body language is going to have to save you. Or learn a little bit of Korean yourself.
As someone else said too, it's a numbers game. Some nights, for no reason, you get really lucky with back to back lays. Some nights, nothing. Same as back in American from what I understand.
After reading the guide, but also talking to people that clubbed regularly back home, I'm not looking forward to American clubs. Crazy wait times, crazy cover charges, depending on where you are then close at 2 am(In korea, the clubs peak at around 2-3 AM, so what the hell, I couldnt imagine my night being cut that short), different club culture, and of course no Korean women.
the-dan-man 5y ago
What about difficulty hearing the girls in the club? Am I the only one that can not hear fuck all when trying to have a conversation in a club? People shouting in my ear all night does not help my hearing either...
sexysalsaman 5y ago
This is a huge problem for me so much so that I often end up being happier dancing with myself rather than trying to have any possible conversation while deaf
Jabbermouth 5y ago
You have a couple options here:
warlordchad 5y ago
I guess I'll post this here because the mods won't let me actually post my own field report. Went out on Halloween and there are some similarities here with OP's point on clubs--especially with regard to leading/being aggressive.
TL;DR—a lot of opens, but not hooking and being too apprehensive will kill you. As a result, only one number/kiss close.
Went to a Halloween Party at a bar this week. All my friends had to work the next day, so I ended up going out alone—the first time I’ve done that.
I mean, I’ve gamed girls I see at coffee shops or bars when I go to work on stuff alone, or if I happen to be alone for a bit at a venue with friends, but I’ve never gone to a club strictly by myself.
What’s odd is the stigma I expected to attach itself to me just didn’t exist, which proves something I’ve always thought: people don’t really pay that much attention to anyone else unless that person has something they want. Or has power over them.
Anyway, I did what u/Xhaca-Laca recommended, going to the bar and making friends with the bartenders, bouncers, etc. I also made an effort to talk to everyone I could—guys, girls, who the fuck ever. Halloween is easy because you can make an observational open about anything: their costume, your costume, someone else, whatever. From there it’s just a matter of qualifying and carrying on a conversation. With the women I was interested in I threw in emotional spikes: teases, negs, jokes, double entendre, touching casually on arm or shoulder or back, etc.
In retrospect, my two main mistakes were:
A) Not doing this enough—some of the women I didn’t hook hard enough, and as a consequence I was less memorable. But this could easily have been overcome if I hadn’t been,
B) So goddamn apprehensive.
It wasn’t a factor of not approaching enough—I did that really well: opened nine sets in about three hours time, and only two rejected me. But, and guys pay attention, girls will often TELL YOU how to get them if they’re interested.
For example, there was a girl I met in town from Vegas, dressed like Carmen San Diego or some hip world traveler, which I teased her about. She liked me, and when I told her I was dressed as a sleazy club promoter (not the best/most creative costume, but that didn’t seem to matter much), she said she was used to guys who were even sleazier.
Essentially, she was telling me to escalate, but like the fucking idiot I am, I had too much nice guy in me to do anything about it. Eventually she ended up dancing with an AMOG dressed in a Chewbacca costume. He had zero game other than the fact he was aggressive (sometimes that’s all you need); after we got separated I ended up dancing with another girl, both to run some dread game and because she was fucking hot (HB8)—this was the girl I ended up getting a number from (we’ll call her Jenny)—but when I had decided to go home, Carmen was nowhere to be found.
Thing was, there were several other sets I could have done stuff with, but I get up every morning at 5:00am for work and by 12:30 I was fucking tired—this is where I missed having friends, because what I really needed was a break. When you go out alone it’s game, game, game, game, game. The good thing I found last night is that none of the girls either cared or noticed I was alone, so it’s definitely something I know I can do if I can’t convince anyone to go out (on that, you’re waiting for friends, or they already got kicked out, or whatever: it’s easy to make an excuse of some kind, and I’d occasionally look at my phone as if responding to a text message—actually some of the women I’m already seeing helped me out with that—or even put it to my ear in a quiet spot and pretend to be getting a phone call from a buddy. Call that corny, IDGAF, it’s all about appearances).
Big takeaways:
1) Be aggressive: that doesn’t mean creepy or needy—it takes calibration and social awareness—but when a girl tells you to “be more sleazy” or is giving you IOI’s like dancing next to you with her ass toward your crotch, grab her by the hand and swing her around or pull her in close and grind (do this as assertively as possible, but test the waters—you don’t just want to grab a girl and start humping her ass). This is what I did with Jenny, the girl I number closed. Key point when there’s dancing involved: dancing—well—builds comfort and value at the same time. It shows you’re confident with your sexuality and the physical closeness makes the girl more comfortable.
The thing I realized too is that I could have gotten Carmen’s number earlier by using an excuse—“I may have to leave if my friends go somewhere else,” whatever—and this is another thing that builds comfort and value: shows the confidence to number close (value), builds comfort if she gives it, because now you’re in her circle so to speak.
BTW was just reminded of this: when you get a girl’s number, either text her immediately right then (ex. “hey cutie”), or at the end of the night if you get separated or go somewhere else (“hey name, it was nice meeting you tonight”).
Anyway, this is how my night could have gone from one number close to five or six, which is probably a flake proof session (meaning that at least one of those girls is likely to want to go out later—as it is now, I have to hope Jenny remembers our kiss).
2) Don’t go home early: in retrospect, I should’ve grabbed a red bull and pounded it. Because at 12:30, right when I left, girls are starting to get thirsty. At the very least they want to give their number out if they’re single (maybe even if they’re not), and as we all know, some want a guy with enough game to take them home that same night. Todd V talks about one of the things that can lead to sex (the first two are being a “win” for the girl and building a strong narrative) is, “being the last dick standing.” Last night, I didn’t give myself that chance. Fail.
3) Spike a girls’ emotions to get her to chase. If my game had been strong, there’s a good chance Carmen would’ve chased me. What I learned last night is that I’m still too tentative with negging, teasing, and disqualifying—RSD Julien does a really good job of this. I do it some, but not enough to set a stronger hook with the girl to where she has logically decided I’m the guy she wants. Remember guys: there’s always competition—you have to make her see you as the prize. Part of this is believing/being the prize, but part of it’s logistics to show her that.
4) As for the two sets who rejected me: the first were two girls dressed as sexy devils. My open was strong—I teased the one who didn’t have horns, then made some sort of disqualifying statement about how I liked women who are sharp—and I had their attention, but then I lost momentum. The one I teased, to be perfectly honest, had an entitled, snotty attitude—I think because she expected more guys to be hitting on her—so she was going to be tough regardless. That said, if I had been able to tell an interesting story or more to go on after the open, it’s possible they could have become receptive. Too much value and not enough comfort? Possibly.
The other set was a true HB10, scantily dressed in a dairy cow costume. My open here was where I failed, because I asked: “is that real fur?” as I ran my fingers over her shoulder—which obviously, it would be leather. Dumb. And there was probably a better open. She looked at my like I was an idiot (correctly) and said, “It’s a cow costume,” then shook her head and went to dance with her friends.
It’s actually possible that if I’d stayed later, I could’ve re-approached—remember guys: getting a shit test or a rejection doesn’t mean you’re dead. I mean, pass the shit test if you can—obviously I didn’t—but at the very least she saw I was confident and entitled enough to approach her. A little dread game with other girls and then bumping into her later might have worked: women also appreciate persistence if it’s not needy.
Thing is, you learn more from rejections than you do when girls just like you, so I’ll chalk those up to experience and do better next time.
Going to a concert tonight… more to come. Let's hope at some point the mods let me post for real.
LiftMeditateApproach 5y ago
i first heard this pickup line around 20 years ago... it was cringy back then... and its cringy now...
Aghayden 5y ago
It's supposed to be cringy dude. The point is that even cringy lines can work if you deliver them with enough confidence.
LiftMeditateApproach 5y ago
so being cringy is part of your grand plan... you act like a social retard because women cant resist it... right?
cowb3llf3v3r 5y ago
I'm constantly explaining to guys how the same exact line or same exact action done by one guy can have a polar opposite reaction from a girl if done by a different guy even if they have the same physical appearance. Girls, like dogs, can sense fear, nervousness, anxiety and stress and it makes them extremely uncomfortable.
You actually hit the nail on the head--"being cringy" is one of the number one flaws by so many guys. But "being cringy" has nothing to do with a cringy line itself; it's how the line is delivered that makes it cringy. A guy that awkwardly approaches a girl and stutters out a dumb pick up line will get immediately shot down because the girl will get the creepy vibe from him. Tom Cruise approaching a girl with his signature, giant smile and saying the same exact line will not give the girl the slightest creepy feeling.
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
Haven't read much yet. Stopping to say that I fucking love your pickup lines. Laughing my ass off right now.
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
Okay, I have read more and I am sorry to say that this is the PUA stuff I hate to see on here. If my advice is worth anything (it isn't), read the OP and realize that many of these behaviors will come out naturally if you develop a positive and confident frame of mind. You can't live by a bunch of memorized rules and playing to a script isn't fun. Invest in yourself and develop the ease and confidence of a man that knows he has worth.
Still love those lines though.
redvelvet_oreo 5y ago
I dont understand whenever there is an article on how game women you anti-PUA guys come out and have a shit fit about it.
Im not saying you need a whole god damn script and treasure map laid out on what to do but its good to go over the basics in different settings. This a sexual strategy sub after all.
Its like lifting. You do use Qs when you lift. You dont need to memorize the whole Starting Strength book to do the lifts but learning proper Qs(understand why you need to do these Qs) will help your form and complete the lift. Same with game. Its pretty easy to engage in a logical conversation and never get out of it. Sometimes understanding social Qs makes you know you aware on how to flirt and move the conversation into a different place.
Frame + Game go hand in hand. The better you get at game and make it natural the faster you never think about it and it becomes part of your personality/frame. You shouldnt be memorizing lines but understanding how to spike a girls emotions and when to push/pull. When to escalate. You can be the funniest most outlandish guy with frame out of this world but if you don't escalate most of the time your not going to take the girl home.
Your_Coke_Dealer 5y ago
The problem with PUA is not the concept but the practice. TRP in general suffers from it to a lesser extent, but since TRP is self-improvement focused sexual strategy, you can only fake so much before you just do it. With PUA, it’s a much more delicate game that you can’t just rehearse, you must do it naturally. And you can’t just keep trying until you’re good; the “creepy” stigma sticks. PUA gets bashed because it’s a skill attempted by noobs who need to work on their own natural confidence first, but since people don’t walk before they try to run, it’s quite often an embarrassment to men.
Jon_Tren_Yin 5y ago
Translator's Note: Q means cue (ie. tuck your elbows for bench)
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
The main problem is almost the entirety of the OP is a script. The OP started with a useful opener; it addresses a point of principle: think about why a girl is at a club, how are you working with this? That is something that can be internalized and then expressed in a way that is genuine and self-satisfying.
When you start following a behavioral script, you are acting. It's not just a bad strategy, it is an opposing strategy to building frame, outcome-independence, SMV, and genuine personal expression. Sexual strategy isn't just about getting laid, it is about getting laid in the way you want to get laid. If you aren't thinking in these terms, you are probably using sexual access as a form of personal validation.
It would be way more productive for most guys to read only the first paragraph of the OP. Go to the club, dance, have fun, talk to some women without any idea of what might come next and being fine with going back to the dance floor if you run out of things to say. Do that for a few months and you'll develop some real social skills.
* By the way, the OP is wrong about why girls go to clubs. "To have fun" is incomplete enough to be misleading. Girls go to clubs for attention and with the idea that maybe there will be some really hot guys. Girls can't usually pull an equally hot male into an LTR because he (usually) has more to bring to an LTR besides looks. However, girls can go to a club and pull a hot guy for a night and have fun and feel validated. If you meet a woman's vision of the "hot guy" she has in mind, you can basically walk up to her and tell her to leave with you. All of this PUA stuff is actually a strategy to circumvent a woman's real motivation for being at a club, and playing to her typical cues for attraction.
OnlyCuriosity 5y ago
not sure if they're original seeing as he mentions the classic little sister opener
CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK 5y ago
Learning how to dance well totally changed the power dynamics for me in clubs. I went from unnoticed to having groups of girls orbit minutes after I start dancing. My status in any group I'm in elevates dramatically and semi permanently after we go clubbing together. I have had 5 minute f closes from cold approach. I take girlfriends clubbing occasionally and reseduce them in the club and it strengthens the relationship a lot and makes them feel happy and fulfilled.
Being able to dance well in clubs gives off many status signals, social intelligence signals, displays core strength and athleticism. And you get to create value and fun.
susumaya 5y ago
how do you approach a girl to dance? could you go over your strategy? thanks.
SalporinRP 5y ago
Not the guy who you were replying to but as a guy in my 20's who has gotten a decent amount of lays from clubbing I think I'm reasonably qualified to answer this question. Now the other guy might have his own technique but this one has worked for me so I've stuck with it.
A lot depends on whether or not the girl is dancing already. If she's just standing there at the bar/near a table then you can game her like any other girl. Introduce yourself, tease her a bit, establish a bit of rapport and kino, then just ask her to dance.
If you're trying to dance with a girl who's already dancing on the dance floor the strategy is a lot different because it's done through mostly non-verbal communication. First, I look for potential girls by taking a lap around the dance floor. Don't walk through the crowd like you're the terminator though. Vibe with the music. When you see a girl you want, how many girls she's there with and pay attention to not just how she is dealing with attention from other guys but how her friends are dealing with it as well. If you see them turning guys down left and right it might be a waste of time to try to game because a lot of girls just go out and dance for the attention from guys. It's tough to crack these girls unless your game is really tight. Their friends are usually expert cockblockers so to game the girl you want to dance with you kind of have to "game" the whole group too. A lot easier to do at a bar though where you can actually hear instead of trying to shout over loud club music.
So you see a girl you want to approach. Look at her and if she makes eye contact and notices you making eye contact as well then I literally just walk up to her, introduce myself with a handshake that I hold onto for a few seconds, and if she's receptive then I just raise her hand above her head and start dancing with her. Might sound kind of retarded but it honestly works.
Clubs aren't that much different than bars they're just a shallower for a few reasons. Insanely loud music puts more of an emphasis on looks rather than verbal game. I've seen below average looking guys pull hot chicks at bars by running tight game but in a club it doesn't work as well since there's just not as many talking opportunities. But, that being said if you're already gaming a girl and it's going well you can establish easy kino by leaning your head in next to her ear to talk to her and simultaneously grabbing her waist. Secondly, clubs place a lot of emphasis on status and opulence. The highest value women will flock to the VIP sections to look cool and get free drinks. So if you're not at one of these tables then you're at even more of a disadvantage.
Good luck with your clubbing. I had some fun but now I just prefer bars with dance floors instead of full clubs. Music that doesn't give you hearing damage, easier to game, and easier on my wallet as well. Just an all around more pleasant experience.
CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK 5y ago
I will try to remember to reply to this tomorrow or Sunday but if I forget please remind me.
[deleted]
unn4med 5y ago
Would love to see this as well
SalporinRP 5y ago
Not the guy you replied to but I posted this as a response to another guy.
Not the guy who you were replying to but as a guy in my 20's who has gotten a decent amount of lays from clubbing I think I'm reasonably qualified to answer this question. Now the other guy might have his own technique but this one has worked for me so I've stuck with it.
A lot depends on whether or not the girl is dancing already. If she's just standing there at the bar/near a table then you can game her like any other girl. Introduce yourself, tease her a bit, establish a bit of rapport and kino, then just ask her to dance.
If you're trying to dance with a girl who's already dancing on the dance floor the strategy is a lot different because it's done through mostly non-verbal communication. First, I look for potential girls by taking a lap around the dance floor. Don't walk through the crowd like you're the terminator though. Vibe with the music. When you see a girl you want, how many girls she's there with and pay attention to not just how she is dealing with attention from other guys but how her friends are dealing with it as well. If you see them turning guys down left and right it might be a waste of time to try to game because a lot of girls just go out and dance for the attention from guys. It's tough to crack these girls unless your game is really tight. Their friends are usually expert cockblockers so to game the girl you want to dance with you kind of have to "game" the whole group too. A lot easier to do at a bar though where you can actually hear instead of trying to shout over loud club music.
So you see a girl you want to approach. Look at her and if she makes eye contact and notices you making eye contact as well then I literally just walk up to her, introduce myself with a handshake that I hold onto for a few seconds, and if she's receptive then I just raise her hand above her head and start dancing with her. Might sound kind of retarded but it honestly works.
Clubs aren't that much different than bars they're just a shallower for a few reasons. Insanely loud music puts more of an emphasis on looks rather than verbal game. I've seen below average looking guys pull hot chicks at bars by running tight game but in a club it doesn't work as well since there's just not as many talking opportunities. But, that being said if you're already gaming a girl and it's going well you can establish easy kino by leaning your head in next to her ear to talk to her and simultaneously grabbing her waist. Secondly, clubs place a lot of emphasis on status and opulence. The highest value women will flock to the VIP sections to look cool and get free drinks. So if you're not at one of these tables then you're at even more of a disadvantage.
unn4med 5y ago
Hey man, thank you for this advice. I’ve been to all ages clubs before, but I recently went to my first real club on Halloween night.
It was unreal and overwhelming, to be honest, since I’ve been off social media and haven’t been going out much. I used to go out all the time and now I became rusty. I’m going to reread what you wrote and practice it. It’s amazing how simple club game is, yet me and so many guys have trouble with it.
It’s really all about the physicality and quick decisions I guess.
Cheers man, thanks again.
Mukato 5y ago
What type of dancing do you do? or do you recommend?
RedHoodhandles 5y ago
Somebody please enlighten me. It has happened now several times and I don't know when or where I calibrated wrong.
Was making out and dancing with girl in club, didn't go for the f-close because logistics, need to get up early or whatever. Got her number. She flakes after some writing and there is never a first date. What's going on?
KeffirLime 5y ago
Girls at clubs just wanna have fun, get drunk, horde attention points, maybe even make out, means shit really. They usually have multiple guys on their radar already gaming them so unless your value is significantly higher she's not going to/doesn't need to put too much effort in.
MrSaiyan_333_ 5y ago
That happened to me several times, too. Maybe the girl wasn't invested enough, you're just a random "make out pal" to her, but since you aren't enough of a challenge (after all she could make you to kiss her easily), she loses her interest quickly.
And in the club she's in a certain state of mind (have fun, party, make out with attractive guys, enjoy the moment etc.) but on the next day she doesn't feel any of this. And when you write to her you're just a random guy, and maybe she feels a little embarrassment too, because she made out with you (a total stranger) earlier.
RedHoodhandles 5y ago
Ok but what is the consequence of this if I want to convert club girls to new plates? I'm not interested in just ONS.
If I am trying to go all the way, she could feel like a slut afterwards, knowing that I know now that she is a slut would result in not wanting to meet me again. Happenend too.
If I am just going for the number it could be seen as weak on my side, not going for more. And if she flakes I didn't even had some fun and some ass in my hands. But thinking about it, that's where my best conversion rate happenend. It's a gamble..
MrSaiyan_333_ 5y ago
Right now I try to minimize giving her validation, especially kissing (Mystery wrote that in nightgame kissing is a tool of comfort building and not of seduction), qualify the girl (I'm not a needy guy who's only interested in her because she's beautiful and showed me some interest before, e.g. kissed me - she should also show me her good inner qualities beside looks), and create a situation where sex is "just happened" and it's "nobody's fault" - but that requires great logistics, too, so it's a bit harder to achieve.
Imperator_Red 5y ago
Except these pickup lines and witty conversations don’t work in clubs because you literally can’t hear anything that’s being said.
Nonstopas 5y ago
I've seen ultimate bb's get multiple kisses or a lay or two in clubs at the same time i also saw chads not approach and get nothing. Been on both ends of the spectrum. There is only one rule i could think of that comes in to play no matter what:
If you go to a club with an expectation or a goal to get laid/kiss or so on, you might be completely dissapointed in yourslef and lose confidence. What you should be doing is go have fun, dance your ass off like nobody's watching, neg a few chicks, notice IOI's and then escalate accordingly. I got laid by just dancing alone in the middle of the club because my moves where cool and i had nice muscles.
Clubbing is also similar to Tinder in a way that it is a numbers game. You can go out every weekend (like i did for about 9 months straight) and get no results or you can go out once and get a threesome.
No matter how many times i went out i always made sure i have fun and enjoy the music, everything else came after.
Andgelyo 5y ago
This. Being fun, and charismatic, trumps boring wall flowers every time. Muscles, and style come after.
Fulp_Piction 5y ago
The focus must always be on you, it's the same as anything else - if pussy is the goal then it's on the pedestal and you're doing it wrong.
bouldurer 5y ago
Amen. "Always be the one having fun" should be the motto for everything you do in life, not just clubbing.
GastrointestinalRein 5y ago
So do you know how to dance or was it just moving with the music??
nebder 5y ago
dancing is just moving to the music. Its a physical expression of the music. You don’t have to be good (tho it helps if you are) you simply have to be having fun smiling and enjoying yourself. Move all your joints so you don’t look like a robot. Hips, shoulders, elbows. I work in subtle hip thrusts in my moves personally however that’s congruent with always expressing my sexuality.
Club/hip hop music is always 4/4 time. In lifting terms, each set has 4 reps. You can mix and match sets to make your own dance. So you feel the beat and move in accordance. You can google tutorials for hiphop dance and get a feel for the basics. Then you’re just stringing together some sets of moves.
Learn the Cupid shuffle. Super simple, 4 sets of moves to learn and each set is 4 beats. Get the feel there then expand.
The hardest part of dancing is getting over it. Get your ass out there smile and enjoy life.
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gunman777 5y ago
What's the recommended way to make the initial contact?
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redpill77 5y ago
You sound like you get way into your head. It doesn't matter how you approach as long as you are not value-taking. You'll make more progress with 20 embarrassing opens than you will with a successful one.
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virusofthemind 5y ago
Depends on the situation, everyone is different.
KaraethonCycle 5y ago
All good advice. Each of the points has various nuances and variations and can be situation dependent (which is why you see variations in things taught by different pickup coaches etc) but any system that actually gives results will be based off the same core principles or it won't give results. What system you choose has more to do with what suits your personality.
I'll add a few things:
Don't stress about buying a woman a drink or not. If you're an absolute newbie it's probably better to have a rule of "no buying drinks". But ultimately the goal is not "don't buy her drinks" - it's "don't be a beta provider". So yes, of course you dont go up to her and offer to buy her a drink (even that can work, it's just not consistent and sends the wrong message). And you certainly don't do it if she comes up to you and tries to get you to do it. But especially once you have attraction and she's hooked talking to you, it can be useful to buy her a drink strategically - it can keep her in isolation talking to you instead of going back to her friends, etc. But overall don't overthink it.
The lead hard point is very important - aka compliance testing/venue changing (within venue). It's one of the most common mistakes (after not approaching) I see. You're standing with a girl who you've hooked and who likes you - if you don't lead, she will eventually lose interest and the door will close. There are many levels of compliance tests, but moving her to a different part of the venue is one of the most crucial - a girl who is willing to do that definitely has enough attraction to you to sleep with you, and you know you have at least a potential chance of getting her home if she's willing to be alone in another part of the club with you.
Statement of Intent/Premise - I didn't see this in the above post - it is absolutely crucial that you make it clear - in the first few minutes, but it doesn't have to be the opener - that this is a man-woman relationship and you're not just friends. Otherwise the conversation gets too asexual. You don't have to say "you're beautiful" or "I want to fuck you" (I mean you could - if you have the personality and frame to carry it off) - but there needs to be something - Jeffy from RSD jokes about putting a baby in her tummy..I personally talk a lot about sex in general and often do an exaggeratedly obvious checking out of her body..whatever.
The optimal strategy is to spend the first half of the night circulating and talking to lots of girls for 5-15 mins and building social proof and (if you want) collecting phone numbers. In the second half of the night, you will actually feel the vibe change as things get more drunken and raucous and sexual and this is the time to pick your best bet and stick with her as long as possible and try to get her to leave with you (make sure her logistics work early, and if they don't, take a number - nothing worse than wasting 1.5 hours at the end of the night with a girl who tells you right at the end she has to be at work in 3 hours at 6am or whatever). The exact time will depend on the club opening/closing times in your city, but if clubs (say) open at 10pm and close at 3am, the vibe will probably change around 1230-1am .
If you're lazy (and you can get into the club) you can just turn up to the club at pulling time without any of the preamble but it's harder to get into tstate "cold" if you're not used to it. Remember though that the later at night it is, the timeframes are more compressed. You might take 15-20 mins to go for a kiss at 10pm. At 2am, it's a much faster screening process and faster escalation - you kiss almost immediately (don't lunge in - make surey ou make eye contact and go in slowly) or within 5 mins. Also, numbers are less useful at this point - she will probably be too drunk to remember you the next day and probably won't reply to your text.
EDIT:
MurkyArtichoke 5y ago
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LOL, takes a bit of charm to pull this off i guess.
ZercherSquat 5y ago
Lol it's fake as fuuuuuck. I've heard this from million places
LiftMeditateApproach 5y ago
it wouldnt work at all in real world... she wouldnt reply to the first question with exact answer he is expecting....
cowb3llf3v3r 5y ago
The question doesn't depend on any specific answer. He asked a common pick up line that she had heard before and beat him to the punchline. So, he improvised by going hard in the opposite direction. If the girl thinks he's giving her a huge compliment, he surprises her by teasing her instead. In the example, if the girl had answered, "No, why?", he could have followed up with the traditional line. The whole point is that there is no right or wrong answer and no matter what the girl says, you can say just about anything with the right mindset.
One of my favorites is to just approach a girl, introduce myself, and tell her she looks so cool that I didn't even bother trying to use any cheesy pick-up lines with her. That almost always leads to her asking what kind of lines I might have used. Some fun role-playing usually follows where I throw out some cheesy lines and she laughs.
Lostitink 5y ago
The lean in is key. You have to be right next to her face with your ear right there next to her lips. Then you do the same to keep the conversation going in a crowded club. When you lean in also put your arm around her waist. This is key. When you take a girl to dance I would suggest escalate to a kiss. You can get away with ass grabbing and such as well but don’t try to fuck on the dance floor. Try to get her out of there to escalate past the kissing and grab ass. I only say this because I used to get way to handsy in the club and it sets off buyers remorse and ASD. I don’t now and it works out much better. This might be basic knowledge for some and others might argue you can get away with basically anything if your “frame” is good enough.
superyute 5y ago
right idea.
and to highlight, it's your dancing + physical escalation that's gonna get 90% of the job done for you so keep the chatter to a minimum
Lostitink 5y ago
The dancing is def a plus. I am not the best dancer but I don't think 95% of the dudes in clubs are good dancers. It's just a matter of having fun. Like really having fun. You want to escalate in a manner that has you to in your own little world.
iscriptz 5y ago
Are you going to sell me your premium snapchat too?
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4matting 5y ago
I'm his manager. Just PM your credit card info, and I will take care rest.
DigitalDragonSlayer 5y ago
Eh, the man shared decent content. Let him plug what he wants.
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stylesm11 5y ago
Very well to the point concise guide, I'll follow the shit outta you on snap
Da_RectumWrecker 5y ago
Quality post sir. You know what you are doing. Reading your post made me so pumped up to go out tonight! I'll be honest though, my weakness has been club game. I have been avoiding them for a while and I stick to the more quiet bars in town. That does make it harder to find the hotter girls because they are more rare at those places.
I already knew everything that you posted in your guide, but the way you presented the info makes me want to try the club scene again. I'm going to show this post to my wingman and we're going to make a plan. I'd be your wingman any time!
1TRUEKING 5y ago
I love posts like these usually everyone writes about tinder and how to get girls there like bruh go have some social interactions and meet real life women lol, anyone can get a girl on tinder
Aghayden 5y ago
If you can get high quality girls on Tinder, more power to you. But for the most part I see guys pulling girls from Tinder they wouldn't be interested approaching in real life.
cowb3llf3v3r 5y ago
True. For two reasons. One is that girls are good at disguising their true appearance on Tinder. They can typically make themselves look a couple points higher than they really are. Once a guy invests enough effort into the girl, and he meets her on a date, even if she's a little below his standards he still goes for it.
Second reason is that a Tinder date is a soft target. By matching, she's already indicated to the guy that she's DTF. So, the guy will lower his standards a bit for the sure, easy score.
0ggles 5y ago
Good stuff, saved to read again later.