Last summer I hooked up with a girl from bumble. Second date f-close, sex was nothing special. We later had coffee and she broke into tears about how she was seeing a guy who cheated on her and she used me to get back at him. She wanted to try to make it work with the guy so her and I could only be friends. And besides, she was going back to her home country in a few weeks. Fine, whatever.

We text here and there after she had been back in Japan for six months and she said she's coming back to my country and is really looking forward to seeing me. I've heard this song and dance from other girls and keep my distance, knowing full well there's a half dozen other guys she's "really looking forward to seeing".

We didn't meet after she came back, but we later match on Tinder. We have a laugh about it and decide to get together for coffee. Coffee leads to drinks and we divulge our sexual relationships to each other. She's fascinated at some of the texts one of my plates was sending me at the time. I guess this is enough to make her feel open to tell me about her situation.

She was churning through Tinder matches meeting guys, getting the betas to pay for dinner, fucking the occasional good looking one, but she said in general she didn't want to have sex with them, or anyone. If they were rich and good looking, she would let them fuck her, but she wasn't into it, and was even repulsed in some cases. I asked her why--

"I'm looking for someone like my ex. The guy I was with when I met you."

"What's so great about him? You're meeting powerlifters with million dollar apartments."

"I don't know. They are nice. But I can't erase him from my head. I'm... Actually still meeting him sometimes."

I ask more about him, and here he is: mid 30's, BPD, emotionally abusive, shift supervisor for a car park (lol), lives with roommates, but lean,handsome, and endowed. The key point here is he gives no fucks.

The sum of their relationship is now:

Him texting at 2am: "Come over and fuck me"

Her: "Okay"

Him after sex: "Clean up my room and fold my clothes"

Her: "Okay"

Him texting her later that day: "Hey I can't see you anymore. Goodbye"

At which point she feels used and meets some nice randos on Tinder. Rinse and repeat. One super sweet Iranian guy whose house she slept at three days in a row, without her letting him touch her? She left his place at midnight, via taxi, because Alpha guy told her to.

I was fascinated throughout, and asked her, "How do you feel when he texts you like that? And how do you feel after he's finished with you?"

"I feel like I'm always going to be waiting for his texts. So of course I'm so excited when I see one. After I feel a bit dirty and guilty.", she said, with a coy smile on her face.