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- Hide Preview | 123 Comments | submitted about a year ago by CainPrice [Post Locked]

Summary: Missing out on the great sexual awakening everyone else had in their youth can be incredibly damaging. It leads men to become obsessively fixated on sex in an attempt to recapture or make up for what was missed, stranding them in the past and preventing them from growing. The Red Pill is one way to fix ourselves and cope with this loss, but only if we are completely honest with ourselves about where we stand today.


Most men who ended up here at The Red Pill started out with unsatisfying or even completely absent sex lives. Some men have moved on to decent sex lives. Others are still in a bad situation and working to change it. We spend a lot of time thinking about sex, reading about sexual strategies, trying to improve ourselves, and feeling the full range of emotions about the state of sex and relationships in the world. It can become a bit of an obsession.

Other people on the internet think we’re weird. Bitter and hate-filled. Unhealthily obsessed with sex and women. Losers. They might not be far off, actually. Compared to the average guy, we are a little unhealthily obsessed.

Because most “normal” guys don’t have abysmal sex lives. We tend to underestimate the normal, average man around here. We assume the average guy is just like us when we first found The Red Pill: out of shape, socially awkward, completely inept with women, and having absolutely zero sex and getting next to no attention from women. This actually isn’t “average”. This is a few notches below average. Normal guys with normal social skills can walk up to a girl in public, have a normal conversation without freaking out, read her signals to figure out if she’s interested, ask for her phone number if she is, set a date later that week, have the date, and have sex at the end of the date. Sure, this doesn’t happen most of the time a normal guy meets a woman, nor does it happen too often with the world’s hottest women, but it happens often enough that normal men aren’t sitting around obsessing about sex and relationships and wondering why all of this is so hard and unfair. They’re not as successful as they could be, nor are they happy and fulfilled much of the time, but normal guys still have some sex. Enough sex that thoughts of sex and sexual strategy don’t become an obsession for them.

Which means that most “normal” guys aren’t like us. They don’t discuss sex and relationships on the internet, complain about women or society or feminism or whatever the evil of the day that’s keeping them from getting laid happens to be, and so on. “Normal” guys don’t think obsessively about sexual strategy. Because normal guys are having sex. Not all the time. Not a lot of it. But often enough that they’re not running to the internet in search of answers for why something everyone else seems to be doing is so difficult for them.

These aren’t exactly pleasant thoughts for us, because it’s tough to give up on the fantasy that we’re average guys, and that most guys feel the way we do and struggle as we struggle. It’s difficult to stare that lie in the face and accept that no, we are not average. We are below average. Whether we’re out of shape, ugly-faced, have terrible social skills, freeze up around women, or have boring and unpleasant personalities, something about us makes sex and relationships more difficult than these things are for the average guy. And it isn’t always fair. Sometimes, we have to work harder than an average guy for a smaller than average chance at mediocre sex while other people seem to have it easy by comparison. Sometimes it seems like even that never works – like it’s hopeless. Sometimes it seems like it’s just not worth trying at all.

Going without sex and without companionship is damaging. Obviously, it’s a downward spiral. The more a man is rejected and the worse he is treated, the more he seeks to avoid those feelings in the future. Then, the less he tries to have sex and relationships, and the more nervous and awkward he is when he does, leading to more loneliness and more rejection. And make no mistake: Sex is a need. Long stretches of time without companionship fuck up a man’s brain in ways that most women and most “normal” men don’t understand.

It’s not just the lack of sex and orgasm, but the perpetual feeling of being unwanted. And despite modern liberal psychology mumbo jumbo, no amount of bro-love and hugging his male friends makes up for the fact that women don’t want to have sex with a guy. When a man isn’t having sex, sex becomes this holy grail of human contact that seems withheld and unattainable for him. Which makes it burn all the more when not only are other people having sex, but it’s not even special for them. They’re just having fun casual sex. Essentially wiping their asses with dollar bills in front of a homeless man.

However, the greatest damage that men suffer after a lifetime of this type of failure is far more insidious than loneliness or anger: We suffer from our obsession. Our obsession keeps us from growing.

“Normal” people spend their teens and 20s having what we recognize to be a great sexual awakening. A coming of age period in their lives filled with fun, sex, and companionship. Essentially a rite of passage. Sitting on the sidelines of that culture while everyone else grows to become sexually active adults very literally stunts our growth. This experience on the sidelines is what turns sex from ass-wiping into the holy grail in our minds.

We are plagued with the realization that we missed out. We never had a great sexual awakening. We never came of age. We never underwent this rite of passage. And at that point, we stop growing emotionally and sexually. We become stuck in the same place, obsessing over sex, obsessing over women, trying to recapture that period that has passed, trying to make up for what we missed. We literally stop growing and become fixated.

If that sounds like it might be you, recognizing this fact about yourself may be the single most important step in advancing your life forward.

The Red Pill is, in one sense, a coping mechanism. It is one of many paths men who are below average take to try to heal this damage. If we learn what motivates women, how to be the kind of men women want to fuck, and plunge into the casual sex culture, then maybe we can “fix” ourselves by finally having that rite of passage today. Then we can move on and become the men we were meant to be.

Other men take other paths – they gather together on the internet and compare notes about how unfair and difficult the world is for men like them, whether it’s because they’re “involuntarily celibate”, they’re giving up and “going their own way”, they think feminism and society are out to erode the rights of men, or even on the other side of the line when they think male gender roles are toxic and unfair and need to change.

Ultimately, any of these coping mechanisms has the potential to “work”, but only when a man stops looking outside and takes responsibility for his life. Until we stare our demons in the face and accept that they are our demons and no one else’s, and that yes, we are below average. Maybe we were born that way or maybe we became that way, but it’s not society, other men, or other women who created us that way, nor is it their responsibility to accept us or help us change.

There comes a time when obsessing about sex on the internet has taken us as far as it is going to until we look in the mirror and are honest about what we see. At that point, it’s time to hit the gym, eat properly, get enough sleep, trim the useless hobbies, kick ass at work or school, and also embrace that honesty with ourselves. Should that guy staring back at you really be chasing 9’s, or does he need to start off with 5’s and 6’s? Are even 5’s and 6’s above that guy staring back at you? Then the answers aren’t here on the internet. They’re at the gym where you hone your body and at your local bar where you hone your game.

[-] KeffirLime 96 Points about a year ago

Although our largest market is certainly sexless men seeking out a sex life, I wouldn't underestimate the amount of "normal guys" that stumble in here. Guys who interact with woman, but don't know how to interact with women.

Some things worked for them, some things didn't work for them, they don't know why what worked works and they don't know why what didn't work doesn't work. One day they get hurt, get cheated on, or they simply can't understand why everything they've been told to do doesn't work. They're baffled with their relationships, doing what she says's she wants, but it only makes her more miserable.

Hollywood films, books, poetry painting great stories of honorable male behavior being rewarded appropriately, when in reality it yields nil. A feminized society rigged to favour the inherent female strategy over the inherent male strategy.

These are not just issues faced by overly sex obssessed men, they're the problems of every man growing up in the 21st century.

[-] CainPrice 39 Points about a year ago

It's tempting to want to distance ourselves from some of the Red Pill readers. To want to say, "I'm not like those losers who can't get laid. I'm a mostly normal guy. I fuck. I just need a little fine-tuning when it comes to how I deal with girls. I'm not an -actual- loser like those other guys on The Red Pill."

Wherever any of us are, specifically, we're all in the same place at least with regard to the fact that we're all unsatisfied with our current sex lives.

We're all somewhere on the spectrum. A completely sexless guy who looks like crap and has no clue how to deal with humans, much less women, might improve himself enough to end up in a crappy relationship with a fat 3/10 woman and have sex with her once a week. That sucks, objectively, but for him, that's a huge improvement. A guy in a shitty relationship with a 3 might dump her ass and end up in a slightly better relationship with a 6. A guy with a 6 might leave her to date a 9, or to non-exclusively plate a few 7s.

Everyone is somewhere on the spectrum and is looking to move somewhere else on the spectrum, and we all used to be somewhere even worse than where we are now.

I think rather than trying to draw some kind of distinction between normal Red Pill guys and loser Red Pill guys, it serves us well to see a little bit of ourself when we look at a guy who's maybe in a worse place than we are and grow even from that.

[-] whatsthisgarg 16 Points about a year ago

everything they've been told to do doesn't work. They're baffled with their relationships, doing what she says's she wants, but it only makes her more miserable.

BUT

A feminized society rigged to favour the inherent female strategy over the inherent male strategy.

This is the contradiction in action of the entire blue pill world. Or is it? The inherent female strategy is short-term satisfaction, and it isn't conducive to long-term happiness, but evolution doesn't care about happiness.

The happiest women I know are the ones who are being controlled, in a very red pilled way, they have the illusion of freedom, but their choices are limited to what's best for them, and their sexual desires are completely fulfilled by one man. (Yes, these people exist, but I'd say only 20% at most of both men and women can do this, and far, far less are actually doing it.)

Well, that comment was tangential to the post, wasn't it?

[-] tempolaca 9 Points about a year ago

I'm no sexless at all, and plenty of girls (about 4/10 to 6/10 surely) gave me the looks. But what sent me here were the pain and suffering going through several dead-end relationships and oneitis.

I fuck, but I never fuck the girl I want to fuck. I'm thinking that TRP won't solve that. I will only fuck more girls that I don't really care if I fuck or not.

[-] Bpgiissues 6 Points about a year ago

I would say there are a lot of guys from a similar background. I came here after my marriage with my cluster B exploded and I wanted answers. Also see lot of my friends having their marriages explode too. I have always been pretty good at getting dates and girlfriends. What was missing was getting the ones I want and having my life with women go the way I thought it should

[-] Eccoedo 3 Points about a year ago

i think you are like me, playing like a warlord when you meet a woman that you are not interested in or that you would fuck but doesnt give you emotions, and play like a dumb beta when you meet the woman of your dreams that makes your heart race. i have no problem with girls, but im not interested in casual sex. so i end with girl around me that im not interested in and i suffer for the oneitis that i have. this sucks. how a brain of the dominant species on earth be so stupid?

[-] tempolaca 4 Points about a year ago

i end with girl around me that im not interested in and i suffer for the oneitis that i have.

Exactly! and more than once, the girl leaves and I catch oneitis for her, so I get with another girl, that I don't love...and the cycle repeats, never being able to date a girl I truly love. It's horrible.

[-] HumanSockPuppet 1 Point about a year ago

I fuck, but I never fuck the girl I want to fuck. I'm thinking that TRP won't solve that. I will only fuck more girls that I don't really care if I fuck or not.

Answer this for yourself, as well for me: what kind of girl do you want to fuck?

[-] tempolaca 1 Point about a year ago

what kind of girl do you want to fuck?

It might be stupid but I want to fuck a girl that I have oneitis for. Mean, fuck someone that I love. At least someone whose name I don't need to write in my hand to remember it.

[-] HumanSockPuppet 6 Points about a year ago

It might be stupid but I want to fuck a girl that I have oneitis for.

You want to fuck a girl who you feel is worthy of your protective instinct. That's not stupid at all. In fact, it's the finest achievement in terms of relations with women.

But here's the catch: it's not YOUR achievement, it's hers.

Always remember: getting to sex is the man's job, and getting to a relationship is the woman's job.

A woman has no control over how sex-worthy you are. It's up to you to get fit, stay fit, develop confidence through risk-taking and conquering challenges, and to outperform all her other sexual suitors. All of this is for you to achieve.

Likewise, you have no control over how relationship-worthy a woman is. It's up to her to be kind and supportive, to practice being diplomatic, to learn what pleases you, and to outperform all of your other relationship prospects. All this is for her to achieve.

We just happen (unfortunately) to live in an era where these kinds of fundamental skills are rarely imparted to young girls by their parents.

The best any of us can do is to continue becoming the kind of men who send women into throes of servile devotion, and to learn to identify the signs of a worthy woman if and when they appear.

[-] Ansec 1 Point about a year ago

Same. I came here after I met a woman that I realized I wasn't ready for. I was mega bluepilled. Now years later I could score much better women. TRP helped me. I lost weight and take more action.

[-] [deleted] about a year ago
[-] SexdictatorLucifer 2 Points about a year ago

On point. This post is somewhat BS as our current climate demands that all men become red pill aware. There are no exceptions. We have reached the point where the guys not paying attention, no matter how "natural" they are, will get fucked over and abused time and again, and not just by women. The bigger part of red pill awareness is learning how to game the system, and how to prevent IT from abusing you. Girls are just the intro course.

I had no problems with women. Lost my virginity at 17, have had great LTRs, and periods of plentiful pussy rampage. But, I was still drawn here, and here I still am. The "TRP is for incels" meme is tired. OP believes it because, well, he probably is one. But they say treadmills are for fatasses, and OP is on one, and hes fat as fuck, and as he watches his rolls flap up and down in the gym mirrors he thinks to himself "hmm, I guess they were right about treadmills."

I'm sure you're a cool guy OP.

[-] Saun522 48 Points about a year ago

I like the way you subtly dissed incels and MGTOW'ers, they are both just examples of the male hamster rationalising a way to not have to improve.

[-] rob13_ 9 Points about a year ago

Well said. Every man in existence can at least get to an average sex life with work on themselves. Most of us can even get to above average after years of work, there's no excuses not to try.

[-] Eccoedo 2 Points about a year ago

what do you say for those that have bad face genetic? we can improve our phisique, our job or alpha attitude buti see an ugly face a huge turn off for a woman

[-] [deleted] 11 Points about a year ago

A lot of fucking hideous guys have gotten laid in their time. Offer something else.

[-] Eccoedo 4 Points about a year ago

Quit this bs. Women are not looking for "something else". Only if you are very powerful or rich but thats unlikely. Look is not everything, it only open the door, but if you cant open the door what you have inside its useless. Thats a fact not a rant

[-] D3athN0te101 22 Points about a year ago

Bullshit. Your daddy got laid, and you look like your daddy.

You can't be too fugly. If anything, I'd guess your negative attitude is whats keeping your dick dry.

If you're having a hard time cheering up, I recommend cardio & pushups. Sunlight helps too. Literally takes 5 minutes, and even my depression gets lifted for at least a few hours.

​

For what it's worth, I'm missing a fucking front tooth. And I got my first lay when I was broke, had no car, and living in my hoarder aunts garage. And no, she wasn't a butter face. Not the hottest either, but a decent HB7.

​

As RSD Max said, most people are living depressed, boring lives. Be the fire that brings them out of the dark.

[-] Vikingcel 3 Points about a year ago

Bullshit. Your daddy got laid, and you look like your daddy.

My daddy got laid with an ugly hag as a bottom of the barrel betabux.

​

For what it's worth, I'm missing a fucking front tooth.

​

Not worth much at all.

​

[-] Eccoedo 2 Points about a year ago

Actually its not the case. A lot of girls told me that that i have a nice personality, but phisically theyre not attrached. The last one was very attrached to myself but not my exterior. Im lifting since 4 years, i have a lot of hobby and my career is starting to kicking ass (i am a producer / dj).

About my father, yea hes 6'2' and im 5'8'. Even my mom its hot, i think that i just got unlucky.

A girl from the gym once told me: "with your attitude, if you was hot, you were fucking every girls"

[-] Saun522 12 Points about a year ago

if a woman says she likes your personality, but isn't attracted to you, then she is just priming you to be her beta orbiter.

[-] Eccoedo 1 Point about a year ago

Ok Thank you einstein. We are on red pill we know for what is this behavior. We were discussing how a woman tell you that you have not good looks and the personality is not the issue

[-] knuglets 7 Points about a year ago

A lot of girls told me that that i have a nice personality, but phisically theyre not attrached.

Your first mistake was ever believing the shit that women say.

Keep your head up, get over the anger, and you'll get there eventually.

[-] Eccoedo 0 Points about a year ago

Not listening to woman applies also when they say that theyre not attracted to you or that theyre gonna on a date with you "as a friend"? Or we dont listen to them only when they say good things about us?

[-] knuglets 5 Points about a year ago

I mean, its obviously true that she is not attracted to you. But you should never take dating/self improvement advice from a woman.

Women only know that they don't like you. They don't know WHY they don't like you, and even less so how to improve upon that reason.

So they throw out some socially conditioned bullshit line like "your personality is great but you're not HAWT to me" like you experienced.

Take the social cues from women, but never practical advice.

[-] AlphaGinger66 3 Points about a year ago

I've seen plenty of couples where the woman is clearly more physically attractive than the guy. He brings "something else" in these relationships.

[-] Eccoedo 2 Points about a year ago

Of course she can be more hot but the guy needs to be above a threshold. Im not complaining about not being 6'5, 200 lbs 8% bf and with a model face. Just saying that if you are below that threshold you have bad time.

[-] GoyInTheStripedPJs 4 Points about a year ago

This is largely true. There is a threshold that you more or less have to cross unless you're rich/powerful. Many here will likely disagree with you because of the emphasis on self improvement here(for good reason) but in most cases you are correct.

Here's the thing though... As true as that may be, you need to believe it isn't true. That's what I think anyway. Fake it until you make it. Get it out of your head that you'll never be attractive enough, because holding that thought in your head subconsciously makes you less attractive too. What I mean is, when you believe that you aren't good enough, there are subtle changes in your behavior, confidence etc that are instantly perceptible to women.

Even if there is a threshold, you aren't the one to determine whether you've crossed it or not. Believe that you are attractive enough and your actions will reflect that inner comfort with yourself. Anxiety & fears of inadequacy are the mindkiller when it comes to women. All it takes is for you to get lucky with one woman, and then I guarantee you everything cascades out from there. Focus on your self improvement regime and you'll get there eventually.

Best of luck to you mate.

[-] DamiensLust 2 Points about a year ago

you have a super toxic self-defeating attitude that is designed to protect you since if keep up the whining, bitching front about "muh face" you never have to actually try. I'm an ugly dude as well, but I have sex and can get women interested in me,

[-] Eccoedo 1 Point about a year ago

Dude wait. Im not saying that its all done and that im not trying. I had girlfriend, i fucked. This wednesday im going out with a girl.

Im just saying that face/height its a huge problem. We have to make double the effort to be noticeable and in the most cases its useless.

I just want to end the endless discussion about how you need to be confident and bla bla. Of course you need to be confident ecc but if you are short and / or ugly you probably gonna fail based on that. Thing that you cant control. Lie to people ang giving false hope is what i hate

Im seriously interested in your height and your level of uglyness. I mean what famous person is ugly as you?

[-] DamiensLust 2 Points about a year ago

OK, I have height on my side, or if not "on my side" the not actively against me. I'm 6'1. I look kinda like Anne Frank.

[-] Eccoedo 2 Points about a year ago

I was meaning someone male

[-] DamiensLust 2 Points about a year ago

I can't think of a celebrity that I strongly resemble. If you want I'll send you a photo of me, you do the same, and we can be totally real in our objective evaluations of each other.

[-] [deleted] about a year ago
[-] Vikingcel 1 Point about a year ago

laid in their time.

​

In the time where getting laid without being married could get you stoned to death?

[-] Believeinyourflyness 1 Point about a year ago

I was watching Trace earlier and I must say I'm honestly baffled by Beyonce's decision to marry Jay Z. She doesn't need his money and as one of the most beautiful women in the world she's quite possibly permanently fucked up her bloodline's genetics by marrying a guy who looks like shit.

[-] Angry_runt 5 Points about a year ago

You're right, some guys are just too short/ugly/whatever to attract desirable women. If you're one of those guys then your choice is bleak but simple: you either improve what you can and keep trying... or you give up. Keep in mind though: it's never too late to give up but if you give up now and then change your mind in 10 years or whatever, it will be so much harder.

[-] Eccoedo 2 Points about a year ago

Ans if you already iproved what you have? Game over?

[-] Angry_runt 2 Points about a year ago

Statistically speaking it's highly unlikely you're one of those rare guys whom no woman wants. Have you improved your appearance as much as you can (hair, grooming, tan, clothes and body)? Are you outgoing, social and assertive, or at least acting like you are? How many new women have you met in person and tried to hook up with in the last 30 days? Don't tell me, just be honest with yourself and then decide whether you've tried all you can or not and you'll know whether it's time to give up or not.

[-] Eccoedo 2 Points about a year ago

Im not saying that i give up taking care of myself, that not for the women. Im going to gym since 4 years ago only for myself, mens sana in corpore sano. Im having an haircut from a good barber once every two weeks, im trimming and clearing my beard every two days. When you say social i dont understand what you mean exactly. I never had trouble finding friends, gettin in a group and even lead it. On highschool i was the students president, a lot of friend and people take me as a role model personality wise and a lot of people let me guide them in a lot of aspect of life. Man and women respect me, and like to talk or spend some time with me, my personality is not the issue. In the last 30 days im meeting a few woma im admitting that (i've recently got a very bad hit from a girl) but before that i was very active, i was gaming and flirting with a lot of girls. I even had some girlfriend in the past, i dont know in the last year i became invisible to woman and even some of them tell me cause of my looks. I dont think im ugly, when i see in the mirror myself i even think that im am attractive guy, but it doesnt matter what i think, only matters what the woman think about your look. Dont know probably aging im becoming ugly (im 26) dont understand just the feedback from the women that doesnt know me is that. My father and my mother are handsome, my mother is still hit on by other man and my father its still a good looking man. Im not ranting just telling whats my point of view. I accepted that, just telling people to not give false hope, not everything is fixable. I dont have obvious defects either so dont know what to do with surgery. This are two of the comment that some girls gave me:

"if someone see your face part singulary he will think that you are handsome. Good eyes, nice nose ecc but all together... Meh"

"with your attitude and confidence if you would be hot, you would be fucking every girl"

[-] SalporinRP 1 Point about a year ago

If you gain muscle and get ripped you'll look better I guarantee it. Face gains are a thing.

If that doesn't work there's some amazing plastic surgery out there in terms of fixing your jawline and nose.

[-] Eccoedo 2 Points about a year ago

Im already ripped, going into the gym since 4 years. My jawline and nose are fine, i think that togheter are just not good ahaha

[-] Eccoedo 1 Point about a year ago

Im already ripped, going into the gym since 4 years. My jawline and nose are fine, i think that togheter are just not good ahaha

[-] [deleted] about a year ago
[-] [deleted] about a year ago
[-] gbdoragnic 2 Points about a year ago

That is not the question, the question is why do women go for men who don't work on themselves, have no job, ugly, beat them, cheat on them, and have a face like a duck. Than they pass up a guy who works out, treats them right, not a push over.

​

Everyone knows why the fat ugly dude doesn't get a date, it's when he gets a date people ask questions

[-] gbdoragnic 2 Points about a year ago

they got a house, car, money, but lost it all in a divorce, Incels are like the abused chick that was raped by her dad, working out, making money is a band aid for them.

[-] TheStoicCrane 1 Point about a year ago

"Self improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction..." -Tyler Durden Fight Club

[-] HumanSockPuppet 1 Point about a year ago

I like the way you subtly dissed incels and MGTOW'ers, they are both just examples of the male hamster rationalising a way to not have to improve.

Just so. Their gripe is that the system is unfair and should be changed. They are unaware of the fact that female sexual selection, like gravity, entropy, and resource scarcity, is a permanent feature of the environment in which they must live. They assume that women have the option of changing their attitudes and being more "fair".

[-] gunman777 37 Points about a year ago

" Because most “normal” guys don’t have abysmal sex lives."

​

I'm gonna have to disagree here. It's all relative I guess, but nearly everyone married has an abysmal sex life. Nearly everyone in any LTR has an abysmal sex life. That applies to a lot of 'normal' people. People that don't live in (or close to) cities are going to struggle based purely on logistics.

I'd say its actually pretty rare for people to have a 'good' sex life. Even the people I know who have all the tools to have a great sex life do less well than you might imagine, just because it takes time and effort.

[-] CainPrice 9 Points about a year ago

Most married people with children have sex twice a week on the average and don't report being unsatisfied with their sex lives. That's actually pretty okay for 2.5 kids and two full time jobs while paying the mortgage on a 4 bedroom and making monthly payments on the SUV.

The dead bedrooms sexless marriages on the internet are the exception. Not the normal average marriage. Not that I'd ever advocate in favor of marriage, but marriage is a shitty deal for reasons other than sex.

[-] Self-honest 11 Points about a year ago

Starfish duty sex is not satisfying. That's definitely the norm the same way obesity is the norm for people in marriages, LTRs etc.

[-] CainPrice 1 Point about a year ago

It's really not accurate to assume assume that any time a wife or girlfriend has sex with her husband/boyfriend, it's starfish sex that she doesn't really want to have, as though the mere fact that she's in a marriage or relationship flips a switch that turns her sexuality off. Married and LTR'ed people aren't that different from you and me. They still have normal, satisfying sex with their partners.

The sex life stalls out in -some- marriages and relationships, which you can read about on the internet. But most "normal" people in "normal" relationships have "normal" sex lives and they're okay with that. And if the sex life ever goes completely to hell, the relationship ends, because most normal people are at least reasonably confident that they can find more relationships or sex partners in the future, so they don't cling to a sexless relationship out of desperation.

The stories of loser men in completely sexless marriages and relationships you read about on the internet aren't stories about regular average guys that are representative of most relationships. They're stories about below average guys.

[-] Self-honest 27 Points about a year ago

Hahaha. I liked your post, but this is delusional. 20% of men, at best, have their shit together enough to qualify for this "normal" guy meme you're pushing.

The world is filled with sexless loser pushovers. The ones in a plowhorse scenario are getting starfish sex and they are content masterbating into a warm hole, but their women aren't happy.

But most "normal" people men in "normal" relationships provider roles have "normal" boring or non-existent sex lives and they're okay with that.

[-] Drezer 2 Points about a year ago

The ones in a plowhorse scenario are getting starfish sex and they are content masterbating into a warm hole, but their women aren't happy.

Because they fuck wrong.

You don't just let the woman lay there. Throw her around. Grab her hair/tits/neck. Stradle their shoulders and fuck their mouth. They want to be dominated. Its fun as fuck too because they're basically your sex toy that does what you ask.

When a girl tries to take control I stop her. They suck at it anyway.

[-] Self-honest 3 Points about a year ago

Def agree. But once they're that far down the road, they can't just start acting like that. There is a lot at play.

[-] CainPrice 1 Point about a year ago

We'll have to agree to disagree on that one. I think most "average" men do okay with women and have enough sex to at least not cry about it. They're not slaying vag, but they have some sex, some of the time, and are mostly okay with that. You think most average men are sexless loser pushovers.

I think most average marriages and relationships have okay sex lives, and we read about a small minority of sexless ones on the internet. You think the majority of marriages and relationships are this manopshere trope of women using men for money while having as little sex as possible, and always the worst kind.

Frankly, most married guys get laid by their wives, and most wives don't do it grudgingly. Sure, it's not four times a day like when they first started dating - it's more like a couple times a week, but things get harder for middle-aged people with 14 hour workdays, a mortgage, and 2.5 kids. It's not like being 22 and paying your apartment rent and going out for drinks with your girlfriend and coming home for sex every night. You get more responsibilities with age.

[-] whatsthisgarg 17 Points about a year ago

this is delusional. 20% of men, at best, have their shit together enough to qualify for this "normal" guy meme you're pushing.

I'm going to agree with /u/Self-honest and /u/gunman777 on this. If you're an observer of humanity you will too.

The "normal" guy who works at Costco might get a "girlfriend" in his last year of college, wait for months before finally fucking her, then after a few months of fucking twice a week, that goes down to once a month, but they stick it out because "everything else" was good, IE they weren't alone on weekend nights, then they live together for a year because they signed a lease and they don't have sex for months, the relationship ends, and they go for years without getting laid once. I know a lot of these guys.

I will agree with you that this is, for them,

enough sex to at least not cry about it.

OTOH, the "normal" married guy in his 30s 40s 50s, IE 50% of my friends, have barely controlled anger issues because they are doing everything they're supposed to and they're having sex with their wives (who still look good to them) once a month. Another 30% of my married friends haven't had sex with their wives in many months, and they're okay with that, for whatever reason.

So

most married guys get laid by their wives, and most wives don't do it grudgingly.

this is false.

[-] Self-honest 5 Points about a year ago

I think most average marriages and relationships have okay sex lives

they are content masterbating into a warm hole, but their women aren't happy.

Frankly, most married guys get laid by their wives, and most wives don't do it grudgingly.

That's the contention point. Agree to disagree.

[-] gunman777 5 Points about a year ago

Hmm. Maybe it is a UK thing then.

I'm not talking dead bedroom level, I'm talking about just boring, mundane, un-exciting. From what I hear anecdotally and how I think the male mind works, that applies to nearly everyone in a LTR unless the girl is a very very rare one

[-] CainPrice 3 Points about a year ago

Attraction and enthusiasm go a lot farther toward making sex good than kinky crap or weird positions.

If a guy and a girl are crazily attracted to each other and really, really into the sex, plain old missionary sex can be incredible. Neither one of them will be complaining about not enough blowjobs or anal or getting bored and needing to spice it up.

[-] ZachMeadows 3 Points about a year ago

Most married people with children have sex twice a week on the average and don't report being unsatisfied with their sex lives.

Bullshit, that is because they lie and they don't want to appear miserable. They lie to themselves. Every guy I know tells me they aren't getting the sex they need/want, because that's how it is.

And that's exactly what I don't want. Spinning plates is the way to go if you want to maintain 2 sexy times a week for a prolonged period of time. Monogamous relationships, especially when you live with your partner will make your sex life suffer.

A man find comfort in his home, he likes to chill in sweat pants in front of a ball game during his off time, after a hard day at work/whatever and that's rightfully not sexy. A woman needs adventure on a daily basis, because of how shitty her work is, or how her friend told her that her husband allegedly planned a secret trip on a cruise around the Carribean.

But hey, that's just my opinion.

[-] [deleted] 6 Points about a year ago

Shit sex every week is better than multiple month or year long dry spells which is where probably half the audience started off from!

[-] MisplacedSanityP 13 Points about a year ago

Well thought out piece. I would just add it's important to have the belief that you can become Chad. Now can everyone actually? Unlikely. Can we become much better than we were previously with that belief encouraging it? Of course. Also important to note the thing holding you back from being Chad likely isn't your face(unless you have a deformity), your height, or the amount of hair you have on your head. These are things we focus on heavily because they're right in front of us, but it's really things that are malleable that are holding you back. Your lack of wealth, your beta personality, your pitiful mission, and your skinny body. Everyone who's not a full RP man needs to simply man-up and accept the fact that they weren't born one of the chosen ones and to just make the most of their potential.

[-] Snazzy_Serval 11 Points about a year ago

Holy crap you wrote this about me.

I'm 37 years old and I have an absolutely abysmal sex life. There is basically a 1.5 year period in my life (spread over three years) where I was having regular sex. I haven't had sex since New Years day 2015.

I'm completely obsessed with sex and women. Also for some reason I have a laser focus with women 20-25. Basically I'm still trying to get the girls who rejected me in college.

I feel that so many aspects of my life are on hold till I can get a girlfriend. It's the only thing that matters.

I completely understand and accept that I'm below average. How could I not be when I'm white 5'5 and not outgoing? Though despite being short and quiet, I know that I'm intelligent, witty, hard working, have my life together and various other things that women say they look for. But none of that matters because I'm just not physically attractive. Yes I work out with weights three days a week and I'm focused on losing my gut and building muscle.

I know I need to put more focus into finding my passion in life, building my career more and making guy friends, but I just can't think about any of that until I start getting laid. The primal need has to be met! God I was so much happier and productive when I had a girlfriend years ago.

Should that guy staring back at you really be chasing 9’s, or does he need to start off with 5’s and 6’s? Are even 5’s and 6’s above that guy staring back at you?

This is what I'm struggling with right now.

I'm not fat, not skinny. I'm not ugly. I'm not unemployed. I don't have poor hygiene. I'm not incapable of having a conversation. I can make friends with men and women. Basically I don't have any red flags that women talk about. The only thing "wrong" with me is that I'm 5'5 and not out going and not that good at flirting. Does that mean that I'm only good enough to date obese single moms?

[-] CainPrice 13 Points about a year ago

Start with obese single moms and trade up. It's what women do to men anyway.

It's circular. Hands down, the best way to make yourself more fuckable to women is to be fucking women. And the best way to make yourself unfuckable to women is to not be fucking women.

Women are very attuned to this characteristic in guys. A guy who is getting laid regularly somehow smells different or carries himself differently. Women notice him more. Conversely, a guy who hasn't gotten laid in a year and feels bad about that carries himself in a way that creeps women out.

If you can start having casual sex with a slightly chunky 37 year old single mom from Tinder, start there. But keep looking in the mean time.

[-] Snazzy_Serval 3 Points about a year ago

Hmm? OK. So just use them as a way to get laid. That actually seems depressing for several reasons but maybe it's just the best course of action for now.

Right now there is nothing I want more than a cute, fit 24 year old girl with big tits, but I need to accept that I'm just not good enough for her yet.

Once I start getting laid it should slowly increase my confidence and eventually work my way up to the women I really want.

[-] CainPrice 9 Points about a year ago

Those less-than-hot women want to have sex, too. You're not "using them as a way to get laid". The two of you would be using each other. That's how casual sex works.

Don't think of these women as holes. They're still humans that you're connecting with. Enjoy their company. Let them enjoy yours. Have fun with each other. It's sex, not some depressing experience. It's sex!

[-] [deleted] 4 Points about a year ago

Hmm? OK. So just use them as a way to get laid. That actually seems depressing for several reasons but maybe it's just the best course of action for now.

If you aren't willing to do this then you're still plugged in. If they're willing, they're willing. You don't have to tick a box about whether you're being a great guy or treating them right. There may be other motives on their side such as roping you in to have 3 kids and eventually divorce rape you for half a house, but there are points in between here and there where you can cut things off. Such as on the 3rd night where she says 'I'm looking for something more'.

[-] tempolaca 2 Points about a year ago

A guy who is getting laid regularly somehow smells different or carries himself differently. Women notice him more.

I'm almost a year single, but I fuck whores regularly, too much actually, sometimes more than once a week and I'm trying to stop it. I wonder if this creepiness also applies to me.

[-] AmIAlphaYet 1 Point about a year ago

I think it does when you only fuck whores. I was incel for about a year, got fed up and started fucking 8/10 whores every other week. This did little for my confidence, if not made it worse, because it reinforces negative self belief.

The way i broke the cycle was fucking some 3/10 landwhale from tinder and slowly moved up to now plating 6's. Definitely carrying myself with more confidence and getting noticed more by women than when i was fucking the whores.

[-] ZephyrBluu 1 Point about a year ago

The way i broke the cycle was fucking some 3/10 landwhale from tinder and slowly moved up to now plating 6's

What's the purpose of 'moving your way up' from a 3 to a 6? It sounds like you started fucking unattractive girls and slowly moved your way up to somewhat attractive girls.

[-] AmIAlphaYet 1 Point about a year ago

The point is that you carry yourself differently when you fuck a bunch of somewhat attractive girls, compared to when you are not having sex at all, or fuck prostitutes.

[-] [deleted] about a year ago
[-] [deleted] 1 Point about a year ago

A guy who is getting laid regularly somehow smells different or carries himself differently. Women notice him more

This is about testesterone, not fucking woman.

[-] MattyAnon 10 Points about a year ago

Other people on the internet think we’re weird. Bitter and hate-filled. Unhealthily obsessed with sex and women. Losers. They might not be far off, actually. Compared to the average guy, we are a little unhealthily obsessed

The criticism is motivated by support of a dishonest gynocentric culture that says that men should be happy with whatever tiny shreds of attention women choose to give us.

So they insult us, calling us oversexed virgins. But the insults are a cover for the real story: women hate the truth being told about how they operate, and the real options that most men have open to them.

Classic example: most women deny that men can have casual sex with healthy women. Why? Because it's true? No of course not.... because it's in their best interests to present that world view.

Because most “normal” guys don’t have abysmal sex lives.

Yeah, they do though. Most men... more than 80%... stagger from one monogamous relationship to another. Sex is variable and rarely passionate for long. Always looking for "the one", usually making a bad compromise sooner or later.

We are mislabelled as misogynistic for wanting better for ourselves.

. Normal guys with normal social skills can walk up to a girl in public, have a normal conversation without freaking out, read her signals to figure out if she’s interested, ask for her phone number if she is, set a date later that week, have the date, and have sex at the end of the date.

hahaha no fucking way. Almost noone can do this. "How did you meet her?" / "Approached her in public". NOONE SAYS THIS. It just doesn't happen for most people.

Attractive guys meet women at bars and parties where they're drunk, or through friends or at work. Easy contact, easy escalation, girl super interested. Very rare to cold approach.

Which means that most “normal” guys aren’t like us. They don’t discuss sex and relationships on the internet, complain about women or society or feminism or whatever the evil of the day that’s keeping them from getting laid happens to be, and so on.

Most "normal" guys aren't doing this because they are whipped and because they believe the lies they are soonfed from birth. They are too weak to admit they even want better. They pretend to be happy and pretend to have more and better sex than they do - or they accept that they're just "not that kind of guy" and suffer in silence.

We are plagued with the realization that we missed out.

90% of men miss out. The lucky 10% do great in college and reap the rewards, most don't.

[-] gbdoragnic 5 Points about a year ago

I Agree with you, every day this sub becomes more and more Misandry

[-] themaindish444 9 Points about a year ago

I completely agree with this, and I think porn kind of fucks with your mind and makes you think you deserve better, since that's what your brain thinks you are scoring, but you really aren't. I think the "beer goggles" effect will happen to normal guys who are counting out 5s and 6s even as they don't have success if they cut out the porn--ie, they'll stop seeing themselves as so above these women once their system realizes they aren't getting their dick sucked by 8s and 9s on the internet and even see them as more appealing, which is actually a good thing.

I have a friend--smart, pretty good looking guy--he never gets laid. I think he's a virgin, and he's 24. Part of it is the beta traits, but he also has an incredibly high bar for what he would ever go for, and a lot of it is a fear of rejection. So again he's a decent looking guy and some legitimate 5-6 types actively pursue him purely based on that despite his beta traits, but he doesn't do it, and then he gets into these weird downward spiral loops you're talking about where you become increasingly awkward and more unwilling to pursue.

If you can just score some success--even if it's a girl that isn't ideal--that can make the pattern go in the opposite direction. You will become more confident, and you will get off, too. I've hooked up with some mid-lower tier girls in my day during relative dry spells and I've never regretted it--it builds confidence, often they try harder in sex, and plenty of them were good people, too.

[-] markinsinz7 5 Points about a year ago

The thing what u may not realise about your friend, and like me...when u have gone all this time waiting on some really cute girl who hasn't hit her slut phase yet to lose that big V.

Then time has passed you by and you never end up meeting such a girl then you decide to just fuck a hot bar slut. Somehow you fuck that up as well and it never happens. At that point a 5 or 6 is just too unappealing. Could be to do with years of porn, fair but it really fuck with your head.

Especially when you see all kinds of chimps fat dudes and what not with cute girls. Most likely through circumstances and timing.

[-] Saun522 2 Points about a year ago

His high standards may come from too much porn

[-] gbdoragnic 2 Points about a year ago

Men don't have Hypergamy that way , high standards come form actually having high standards, deep down inside I didn't care about sex much, I cared about my social reputation, my safety , not everything is about pussy.

[-] markinsinz7 7 Points about a year ago

Thanks for writing this. I am literally this guy that you have written about.

It's funny if you met me I'd seem chill normal with a little bit of weird obnoxious-ness mixed in there. I never learnt to tone down my negs so I come off as rude quite often.

Anyway I find it hard to agree with the idea of Startin of banging 5s n 6s it's just too hard when you've waited this long. I'm not sure what will happen I might go sometime for a hot escort or something.

To be clear though it's fuckin hard. You're right, through a stupid set of circumstances and my absolute laziness I fucked up - missed out on the 'rite of passage' and now my head is so fucked up.

I'm decent socially so I try to build opportunities as much as possible but it's hard. When ur 27 extremely hard to change habits. I don't have people on my fb insta and shitt liking my photos and what not. My own friends don't call me for my birthday. This hurts confidence massively.

Now no matter how good my cold approach goes a girl wants my insta or fb which is practically non existent.

I'm just one of those cursed souls. I know so many dudes slowly checking out - I used to laugh at mgtow but I get it now. There's no hate for women BTW - not from me. Just envy and jealousy I suppose. Can't negotiate attraction as they say. My luck has just been so fuckin dumb it's ridiculous. I hit the gym but we know that shit takes a year atleast. Idk where I'll end up thanks for writing this.

[-] capodonca 5 Points about a year ago

Focus on yourself, don't compare to other people. Make small steps foward and take pride in every single one of them.

Rollo said somewhere: what kind of man would you become after a year of going to the gym religiously?

[-] SimilarHamster 0 Points about a year ago

Sounds like you need a good friend. Just find the saddest looking guy you can and try to befriend him.

[-] vfb14 5 Points about a year ago

This is what I've been talking about lately, that people need to do introspection and take a hard honest look at themselves and realize what they really are, so they can work for realistic expectations. It is often preached around here that it is foolish to use redpill tactics to fulfill your own bluepill fantasy, but when it comes to talking about your realistic physical appearance or some other limitation that real people have, moderators rather look the other way and take down posts that merely mention the subject and catter fantasy to this men instead of telling them the truth. I thought this was the redpill, I didn't realize that we were in the purple pill debate.

[-] markinsinz7 1 Point about a year ago

What are you talking about here ? How looks affect outcomes ? Like how OP mentioned in the last para of the post?

You may be right but I think there's another section of guys out there .

see I ve seen a lot of retards with girls that at this point I know even if I got jacked I would still fuck up. I've gotten girls interested in me b4 and yet I still fuck up. So I'm trying to figure out actual game.

I work with a bunch of hot girls and just yesterday I got the opportunity to sit down and chat with one coworker. It was a normal convo started with small talk and shitt threw a few light teases - got her laughing and stuff. And then ziltch. I'm sure she was already fuckin some1 but point being I failed to get her interested in me one bit. I wonder how successful dudes guys convo go to figure this shit out

[-] vfb14 3 Points about a year ago

Of course learning game is important, that's how you don't fuck up when you already have the attention of a girl. But a lot of people in here downplay the importance of the role about how you look, plays in attracting the opposite gender. There's failure to introduce the idea that there are genetic realistic limitations(facial and body(ffmi,bone structure,muscle insertions, etc)). Whenever someone acquires some success with a girl, they attribute that success to the game learned here.. but fail to notice that maybe that game worked because she was already physically attracted to you. The lack of realistic advice here makes it no different than any other radical subreddits like feminism, where only information that they like gets spread in their own echo chamber.

[-] SimilarHamster 1 Point about a year ago

Just judge how open she seems to you on average. If she ranks below a 5 shes probably got a man. Ps not that I'm successful

[-] vast_rightwing 4 Points about a year ago

The average guy is fat, poor, and sits a full standard deviation below the average college grad in iq. I like my odds

[-] tequiladick 3 Points about a year ago

Great post but I don’t entirely agree that browsing TRP constitutes someone being “below average”. I’m a physical Chad in basically every sense with a body count approaching double digits but I had the realization that I’ve skated by on looks and a decent personality, luck even. Being in my young 20’s, I’ve certainly blown a bunch of opportunities in the past without really understanding why. Having awareness of the hard truths behind male and female interactions will help me utilize my natural gifts to their maximum potential instead of having a drunken hookup every couple of months or plates that prematurely fizzle out. TRP has given me incredible clarity and as long as people actually implement the theory I don’t see “obsessively” reading here as something inherently negative.

[-] metallica11 3 Points about a year ago

I don' compare my sexual success to my personal growth, because I know they are a function of different things, some things you cannot change.

​

I'm pretty damn in shape, make top 5-10% for my age, and am genuinely confident in myself. However, I still have pretty lackluster success with dating because of my looks. not terrible. I still succeed, but the effort required is a lot. If you took the average white guy and put him through the same stuff I've improved in, he would probably be slaying WAY more than I am just due to my looks.

[-] SimilarHamster 2 Points about a year ago

waah waah I'm not white...... Are you attempting to get with white girls? Because I fail with Indian girls but that's because I'm not Indian, and don't worship cows.

[-] metallica11 3 Points about a year ago

race is a huge factor, and being of a lower demanded race is an area which places white people as higher and even where people of your own race prefer white people puts you at a huge disadvantage.

[-] SimilarHamster 1 Point about a year ago

Its just luck that you were born into those circumstances. If you hate it move elsewhere where your race is at the top of the food chain.

[-] [deleted] 3 Points about a year ago

This post really hit home to me the importance of honest introspection

[-] Psychological_Radish 3 Points about a year ago

This post really resonated with me in the sense that I always felt there was some deeper truth that remained just beyond my comprehension. Discovering TRP at 24 hit hard, because I realized just how badly I blew my high school and college years. Wasted potential really hurts.

That said, I haven't seen much evidence that people here are below average. We're just more unsatisfied than average, and that satisfaction drives us toward greater achievement. There's no shame in craving lots of sex and intimacy with women; many of history's greatest minds spent countless hours chasing tail. Hell, Marlon Brando - one of the biggest Chads of the 20th century - was known to fill binders with detailed notes on his innumerable conquests.

[-] trentrez95 3 Points about a year ago

Man this post hurt.. in a good way.

[-] DropDeadTyrant 2 Points about a year ago

I'm glad you mentioned lowering expectations and being below average. My expectations used to be super high and unachievable. But, it hurts even more when you lower your expectations just for them to not be met. It's not even about sex for me at this point. It's about the trophy. I remember thinking about the idea of a trophy wife as trashy and degrading. I was wrong. I only want a girl to be able to say I have one. To be able to say, "hahaha, look what I have that you don't have". It's one of the few things on my mind. Additionally, being in classes with all girls, it's become a jealousy thing. I hear girls talk about their desire for a guy and the only way they can explain why they like him, is because he's himself. I want to get to a point in my life, whereby simply existing, by simply being me, people are compelled into my orbit. That is my goal in life. That is the goal my inadequacies have created.

[-] [deleted] 2 Points about a year ago

Very well written and accurate. I guess this is why the 'normal' people think its hilarious to mock someone when they talk about mens rights or anything. Haha, he's just bitter because no one will go near him! Well.. yeah. Sex is one of our main reasons to even exist, and when we don't get it in our prime, it has to fuck us up. Yet even society at large sticks the boot in.

Not that I go near mens rights stuff because being openly bitter on social media can never end well.

[-] [deleted] 2 Points about a year ago

The fact that having sex is considered as "Rite of passage" to become a man and mark of growing emotionally is so, so retarded that i dont understand why people took this seriously. Your mind has been completely brainwashed by hyper-sexualized society. And you're literally putting pussy on pedestal. Sure having sex is has serious effects on persons emotional well-being but not beyond that. Defining your personal growth with having sex is Incel-tier thinking.

[-] chadmarco 1 Point about a year ago

Agreed. Why do people still believe this bullshit when monks and priest have debunked this ages ago?

[-] gELSK 1 Point about a year ago

// , Without some research with numbers that are hard and firm, so to speak, most of this is just speculation and sharing of personal experience. Nothing wrong with that, mind you, but this post goes too far on too little info. to say anything about most guys, or even normal guys.

I think what he's describing is real, and I have seen it. But the prevalence he suggests? How would we test it?

[-] lukkassu 1 Point about a year ago

I have the opposite problem. Whether it's a matter of upbringing or a legitimate physiological difference... I'm just not interested in sexual conquest.

Learning game and improving myself and looking to build real world experience, but I'm the total opposite of sex obsessed.

Regarding sex itself I have outcome independence coming out my ears but companionship, affection and respect- that's my kryptonite.

Almost 30 years old and obese (but down 65 pounds thus far) with three past sexual partners for reference.

[-] Kpwn88 1 Point about a year ago

TL:DR... the top 20% of guys are normal and have no problem getting laid. The bottom 80% are guys that come to the red pill, incels, and MGTOWs.

[-] CainPrice 3 Points about a year ago

It's tempting to think that most people are just like we are. That's the same mentality that causes a staunch Democrat living in Chicago or New York to think that the huge majority of America is liberal or a guy who reads conservative blogs all day to think that most people are conservative.

I hate to break it to you, but most guys can walk up to a girl, talk to her, and have enough social skills to figure out from the interaction whether she's interested or not, and if so, ask for her number. That's not top 20% superman behavior. That's just regular guy behavior.

The guys who are so ugly or so awkward or so creepy that women tense up when they approach and say something, or the guys who freeze up and can't talk to girls, or the guys who have like zero social skills and come across as too weird for a girl to give out her number or agree to a date are not 80% of men. These are below average losers.

Most average guys talk to girls just fine, get dates, and have some sex. They don't run around getting every girl they want and having piles of sex. They're doing a lot of things "wrong" that The Red Pill could help with. But they're not losers.

This idea that most men are losers and are having zero sex and only the top tier, cream of the crop guys get dates and sex is purely an internet phenomenon. The real world isn't like that.

[-] [deleted] about a year ago
[-] trpppp123 1 Point about a year ago

Should that guy staring back at you really be chasing 9’s, or does he need to start off with 5’s and 6’s? Are even 5’s and 6’s above that guy staring back at you? Then the answers aren’t here on the internet. They’re at the gym where you hone your body and at your local bar where you hone your game.

Idk man, I've been lifting for over 2 years now and starting to get a good physique, nothing great, but good. Been sober 1+ years, making good money (more than any of my peers my age), am well-travelled, always trying new things, yet when it comes to women, I'm still getting rejected by 5s and 6s. I'll go on dates here and there but most never result in anything. I get laid like once every 4-5 months. This is an improvement because I didn't even lose my virginity until 25 years old. Just turned 28, and have been with about 10 or 11 women, all whom have been 3-5s and maybe one or two 6-7s. I just think I should be doing much better now. Yes, I've improved (don't get me wrong, this was for general fulfillment not women), but I still get rejected by 5s after the first date and Idk what I need to do to get hotter girls and even do better with the average chicks.

[-] dobbekz 1 Point about a year ago

what age if you haven't got anything by would you say the person missed out?

[-] burnyr 1 Point about a year ago

How about when all this already applies to you, including the whole going to the gym and knowing youre far below average because youre failing in every aspect of your life. I don't really know what I wanna say here, other than the fact that you're not really telling us anything new. We know we're losers, and we know why.

[-] strikethrough123 1 Point about a year ago

This is better. I would rather much be a loser that knows intersexual dynamics rather than a normal dude with no idea how this shit works. Why? Because the former has the tools to build the rungs of the ladder, the latter has no idea the tools even exist.

[-] Rian_Stone 1 Point about a year ago

Funny, I would have been the normal guy you discussed, who then hit some new situations and hardships. Without any of that early struggle it left me unable to deal with the new problems as they came up.

I called it the used to be and the never was

And they often end up in the same place

[-] cupshadow 1 Point about a year ago

Truth be told, I wanted to believe my reality was the reality of the majority. But a few years in college proved me wrong.

At some point, everyone seemed to be evolving, getting a nice girlfriend, enjoying kisses at crazy parties and so on. Most of these guys were at my frat house, some were fat, weird, ugly but overall they had a good time with everything their early 20s has to offer. They graduated and life worked out for them.

For me, it was a train wreck of chasing bottom of the bar girls that didn't even wanted to date. It was times of deep depression, trauma and confusion. All of that until I said "enough" and found this place.

This post hits too close to home but that's not the first time I've realized it. I kinda disagree with the part about being honest because you have to be too narcissistic to think that you are just too good for everybody else. It's not something that we like to speak, yeah, but we all know that. We just keep quiet about it because it's too much of a shame. And not only the feeling of not having companionship but also the feeling of people just don't understanding what was going on with you. If I had told people that I have to read books on how to approach woman, they would laugh at me. Imagine what my parents would think of that.

At the same time, I think that having reached the bottom and having all this knowledge available can raise us to levels which normal people won't reach. Not because they can't, but just like you said, they have no motivation to go looking for it in the first place.

Thanks for sharing that.

[-] EvanPetersDouble 1 Point about a year ago

In other words, just live life like you were meant to do and be,without stressing over the past and what the world's thinks. Go on.

[-] 1421834L 1 Point about a year ago

This post really really spoke to me. I feel like if I had read this when the I first discovered the red pill, I wouldn't have obsessed over all of this as much. It was just a straightforward, candid look in the mirror. Not going to lie, had to take a break from the article to bury my head in my hands. After that though, stuff just made sense. Thank you for taking the time to write like this. I truly appreciate it.

[-] [deleted] 1 Point about a year ago

Halfway into your post, I already want to thank you for posting this, because I needed to hear this today. I appreciate it, know that you made a difference. :)

[-] NormalAndy 1 Point about a year ago

I was just wondering why things were so bad when I was trying my best to be nice!

The truth was not what I wanted to hear but it has without a doubt changed everything for the better.

100% responsibility- no entitlement. Just satisfaction gained from the hard work spent on improving my own life and hence of those who choose to come along for the ride..

[-] Rian_Stone 1 Point about a year ago

Funny, I would have been the normal guy you discussed, who then hit some new situations and hardships. Without any of that early struggle it left me unable to deal with the new problems as they came up.

I called it the used to be and the never was

And they often end up in the same place

[-] MakoShark93 1 Point about a year ago

Right now, I'm below average. Fuck, this is painful.

[-] JohnGoDawgs 1 Point about a year ago

Great post, one of the biggest things I've struggled with is not being honest with myself. It drives me in the gym now that I look at myself and realize what my flaws are. I've been going hard for 3 years now and thank TRP every day fro helping me learn how to do that.

[-] CainPrice 2 Points about a year ago

Growth and progress come not only from being bluntly honest with ourselves, but from accepting and forgiving ourselves for not being ideal in every way.

If your chest is small and your shoulders narrow, that's okay. Be honest about it. But then go fix it. Getting caught up and angry over not being okay with that can be just as stifling, if not moreso, than not being honest about the problem in the first place.

Whatever our issues are - scrawny, fat, job, hobbies, social skills, game, personality - whatever it was that kept us from being part of the casual sex culture, it's important to be honest with ourselves about what's looking back at us in the mirror and where we stand. But it's equally important to forgive ourselves for being that guy. Let ourselves off the hook for not getting it and for not being good enough then, so we can focus on being good enough now.

[-] Elfclan30 1 Point about a year ago

I feel identified with this posts. I am not even that ugly. However I was getting no sex at all, and man you better put that spiral of obession with some girls into something creative because it's gonna hit hard

Thanks to some drugs I became self aware of my autotistic personality and have been working really hard to take the toxicity our of my character

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