If you have come to TRP because you are frustrated with women, you want to get laid, up that kill count, and tell tales of sexual conquest to your friends. Then this post is for you. Yes, by now you probably guessed it, this post isn’t about game, it’s one of those “you have it all wrong” posts.
Let’s start with a metaphor, a simple one. Don’t over analyze it. Who has a better chance of scoring a goal in an NHL game? An NHL all star, or I don’t know, you? I think the answer is obvious, but why? What does the all-star have that you don’t? I’d say it would have to come down to hours, and hours of practice that he has that you don’t. He probably is also a hell of a lot more in-shape than you, it’s not even just about the hockey skills at that point. Sure, you have a chance to score, but the timing has to be perfect.
That chance to score, is your chance to score with a girl, and that game is your cold approaches, the game you play when you’re trying to sleep with that girl you’ve always liked. There isn’t a quick trick to just become an NHL All-star, you gotta put in a lot of work, and a lot of that work doesn’t involve playing the game.
Have I got your buy-in yet? Let’s drop this metaphor and just get down to business.
Okay, your a sexually frustrated man, or maybe your just trying to find some purpose in your life. I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be difficult. It can actually be a whole lot of fun, but it’s going to take time to start playing some NHL. Sorry, I know I said I’d drop the metaphor. I mean it this time.
Here’s what you need to start doing:
- Find 5 interests in each of the categories,
(I listed a few examples but there are a world of things that you can pick from. Also, don’t be afraid to try something you think you might not like, you might prove yourself wrong.)
A.) Creative: Anything that leads you to create something. Examples: Painting, Woodworking, Sculpting, Acting, Playing an instrument, etc.
B.) Physical: Anything that keeps you in-shape: Weightlifting, Basketball, Jiu Jitzu, fucking Hockey, etc.
C.) Spiritual: Anything that helps you be introspective: Meditation, Writing in a Journal, Church, Literature/Philosophy, TRP, etc.
- For the next 15 weeks, devote your time exploring those interests.
This is the hardest part and what takes the most amount of discipline. You need to give each of those interests a good and honest chance to see if you truly like them. Leave no stone unturned.
- Pick one interest from each category that you enjoy doing. You can call those your passions. Find time each week to visit every one of those passions.
(Don’t have any passions? Go back to step 2)
By know, you have probably found a sense of purpose in your life. You are creating things, challenging yourself, and you think back on your previous actions and grow from them. Oh and a side bonus? You are hell of a lot more interesting than you were 6 months ago.
It still may not be time to practice game, and maybe you won’t find it to be that important to be some PUA player anymore. In those passions, you will find stability, you will become emotionally invested in things that will always be there for you, and when that unicorn comes along, you won’t be bothered to fight for her approval. You’ll be comfortable with who you are, and her rejection will be like a bug splattering on a car windshield.
Hopefully I’ve inspired some of you to take action over your life, and to find meaning that is within your control.
bouldurer 5y ago
You should find three hobbies:
One to make you money.
One to keep you healthy.
One to be creative.
DigitalDragonSlayer 5y ago
Good post, by in large fuck the commenters who are critical of this. The net summary of this is: don’t be yourself. Yourself is boring and stupid, probably weak and lame to boot. Work on those. Cultivate an abundance mentality with interests and growth. Be useful. Being interesting will be a side benefit of pursing these new endeavors.
Fundamental advice, nice post presenting this is a different way and good use of examples.
Go Bruins.
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
[deleted]
throwinghthisoneaway 5y ago
My problem is that I am all of these things. I work in ministry(spiritual) doing skating a surfing outreach around the world (creative) and have a lean, mean wrestling/weightlifting body to go with it. On top of that im really funny and can sing well. Still get passed up by girls for guys that are literal deckhands on 20 foot boats pullin in crabs and making 40k a year. Dont fuckin get it at all, i am uber valuable, bitches should be knocking down my door.
TauregPrince 5y ago
Yo man, I'm moving to Miami next month planning on taking up surfing. You got any recommendations?
throwinghthisoneaway 5y ago
Youre gonna be doing a lot of paddling. Get a foam board or borrow one and learn what youre geting yourself into. Surfing is not easy and takes years to get good at. Just go as much as you want and after you drown a couple times and fall see if it youre still into it
[deleted]
chuck23y 5y ago
You're*
But it is a great post!
[deleted]
faustian_talos 5y ago
There isn't really anything new in this post.
​
To find your life purpose you need a lot of introspection. And I mean a lot.
​
As for your list, this is a guide on how to pick hobbies. Not find your purpose.
Purpose is GRAND.
Coregod109 5y ago
I agree with you but I think this can be useful especially for guys like me. I'm under the impression that purpose has to be grand too, this grandness my purpose should contain makes the act of finding purpose just as grand. As a result allot of guys including myself become passive they are constantly pondering about their purpose but never take action.
They reach too high and don't have the skills required to start out or they don't start out because everything they consider isn't grand enough.
Good post and I think maybe a step in the right direction you might find more of a hobby than a purpose. But you'll learn to start something you might not know allot about and see it through.
Which when you do find your purpose will be part of starting out with that.
Stanleyyelnets 5y ago
Great response. Agree with the both of you. Though I think like Coregod109 says, I need to start small in order to have the experience for the grand purpose.
All in all thanks for the post OP
[deleted]
AwakenedSovereign 5y ago
Disagree. Purpose does not need to be grand and people often get lost in that, searching for some kind of cosmic destiny.
Passion is purpose.
I was like you once. I thought my Purpose had to be transcendent. I needed to save the world. Cure cancer. Lead my fellow men into an age of enlightenment and abundance.
You will find those narratives unhelpful. Vague. Intangible. Not practical in the real world.
My mission today is simple.
This requires extensive focus on the priorities of Lifting, Diet, Sleep, and absence of drugs. It also requires focus on my career, performance, jobseeking, resume building, networking, and studying to make sure that I have the appropriate skillset to be able to earn a healthy salary from anywhere in the world with a WiFi connection.
The only reason having a Mission or Purpose even matters is that it gives you something that is more important than female attention. When it comes time to make a decision, choice, or sacrifice.. you choose your goals, and not the bitches.
Combined with an attractive look, a little frame & game.. and females interpret this as Alpha.
If your Mission is to be the best goddamned DDR player in the state.. guess what. It may not be Grand to everyone. But it will WORK. As long as you are genuinely passionate about it, and willing to make all of the sacrifices necessary to grow that passion into its ultimate fruition.
4gliders 5y ago
I’m learning some different tech things,(python/aws) but we have the same goals.
Get fit and travel.
What are you studying to be able to make good money from any where with WiFi?
[deleted]
faustian_talos 5y ago
From your comment is see that you equate mission and purpose. Do not do that too lightly.
Purpose (or vision) if you will will go through all your mission. You will have a mission to travel. Ok.
Say you travel to all 189+ countries in the world. Then what? Purpose keeps you going after it.
I 100% agree that purpose is there so you have something bigger to look forward to other then women.
But purpose should be grand and with that unbelievable. That will be your inner industry which keeps you going.
Missions you will finish one by one. Purpose? No.
Again you are right, your purpose can be something very little or average. But I do not accept (or should anyone if they are healthy) anything less then GRAND ideal. You are human for fucks sake. You can do anything you want.
Look where the civilization was 4000 years ago and where it is now? Just observe and you will get my point.
AwakenedSovereign 5y ago
Ok. I'll bite.
What is your grand Purpose?
Jon_Tren_Yin 5y ago
I would say Mission and Purpose are along the same lines as Tactics vs. Strategy.
Your mission(s) are a subset of your overall Purpose, whatever it may be. Using your example, if your Mission is to Get Fit + Travel, I would presume that your "Purpose" is to develop YOURSELF into the best possible version of yourself, via physical changes (getting fit) and mental/spiritual changes (growth from culture shock, looking outside the "box" of your local nation, etc).
Like in war how tactics are used to push towards a specific strategy, your missions should encompass a vision and direction towards your overall purpose
[deleted]
warlordchad 5y ago
I'm going to add a letter:
D) Game/frame: try to have at least one conversation a day with someone you wouldn't ordinarily talk to (preferably an attractive women, but anyone will do). Try to pull them into your frame--as in, they agree with you, see the world from your perspective, laugh at a joke you tell, etc. Maintain strong eye contact and keep the conversation going as long as possible, but at the same time, calibrate: try to sense how the other person is responding to you--not just speech, but body language.
If you want to get good with women, this is arguably the most important skill. Yes, you have to have the other things too, and those will naturally improve your game/frame, but being an interesting conversationalist and pulling people into your frame is a skill that must be practiced. I started by just trying to talk to everyone: people I saw at the grocery store, at the coffee shop, at the gas station, wherever.
Draviz 5y ago
until you got 100k annual income (in any first world currency) there really is no secondary objective („purpose“)
psiggy 5y ago
Alcoholism falls in all three
Pyropiro 5y ago
Right on brother. TRP to me isn't actually about getting laid though, its about creating an abundant reality for myself and perfecting myself in body, mind and spirit so that nothing and nobody can fuck with my frame. I am the master of my reality and everyone is a guest in it.
politeAndLevelHed 5y ago
Well, for the most part, until a group of men think you're the wrong skin colour for the area and choose to assault you.
Remember: sometimes the only way to "retain your frame" is to remove yourself from the situation.
Rimefang 5y ago
I have nothing to believe in, so I will only believe in myself.
the-dan-man 5y ago
When you reach your 30's you will learn that is an unhealthy way to live.
tirado8014 5y ago
Awesome post man! Ive been a lurker here for about 6 months now. I broke up with a bpd girl about 6 months ago and was going thru a terrible time in my life. I ran into the TRP forums somehow and havent looked back since. As I was reading your post I realized that I starting doing exactly what you wrote above 6 months ago. Im currently working on music production as my creative side, and for physical i picked up crossfit & yoga. As for spiritual I started meditating. I can honestly say that 6 months later I feel alot better about myself, and look better. One thing I also realized is that when you improve your physical appearance and adopt that idgaf attitued towards rejection, your game instantly shoots up in value. Ive had some success at bars with women just by looking better and changing my attitude/frame. Thank you all from the TRP community, and I cannot wait to see what these next years have in store for me as I continue to learn and live the red pill life!
diogov9 5y ago
We need more posts like this
alifaraz21 5y ago
You sir are a legend. I started lifting, and playing the piano believe it or not, even though nothing in my life has changed, just getting even marginally better at these things has done wonders for my self esteem. These are some golden words you drop here. Also, one more thing I'd like to mention. If you suck at any of your passions NEVER give up. I've been lifting for, 3 years, haven't changed much tbh but I never stopped I will get there . Doesn't mean you shouldn't be efficient but if you aren't, no problem be persistent
hudson_rogue 5y ago
I understand your point and agree that building purpose and stability, the importance of getting laid is less which therefore improves your game.
What about buffers?
I know your saying build some personal value for yourself first (before pursuing game) but...
At what point do hobbies becoming buffers to working on your charimsa and actually approaching?
DrMrJrSr 5y ago
I believe it's based on the matter of perspective. If you're completely honest with yourself and want to build that stability, the 15 weeks shouldn't be considered buffering. You can still talk casually, and let your interactions be a benchmark for your improvement. It's after those 15 weeks that becomes a problem, if you enforce it your previous buffers. I still have this problem, so I'll looking forward to the next 15 weeks lol.
JeanetteAlvarez 5y ago
Lifting and martial arts. No compromising on this imo.
Loze1 5y ago
Thanks, I needed this post.
MilkMoney111 5y ago
I would add that it can evolve as well.
I had a passion to be a pro wrestler for the WWE (I was like 9 alright). Well I was a scrawny kid so I got in to lifting. Found a passion in weightlifting. Realized you can lift all you want but results start pouring in through diet. Found a passion for nutrition. Realized living as a bodybuilder doesn’t particularly give me satisfaction in life and I’d rather just keep it as a hobby so I looked to use fitness to help others. Found a passion for physical therapy.
Just keep grinding for what you desire. I think the key point through all of it was I was okay with the grind. I actually enjoyed the grind. I knew I’d get there no matter what obstacle was in my way. I took them all as learningb experiences.
AutoModerator 5y ago
Just a friendly reminder that as TRP has been quarantined, we have developed backup sites: https://www.trp.red and our full post archive (and future forums) https://www.forums.red/i/TheRedPill. Don't forget to register on TRP.RED and reserve your reddit name today. Forums.Red is currently locked but will be opened soon.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.