Story time; I’ll try to condense as much as possible but I believe it’s important to grasp the dynamics at play and everywhere I went wrong, so be ready to read a bit. In fact it’s a long read, scroll to the bottom for the TL;DR if you want to determine if this can apply or help you in any way. This is just to help men who think they’ve dug themselves too far into the hole and want to take their masculinity back.

Background

I left a 3.5 year LTR, moved to a new city, and entered a new environment. I had been casually browsing TRP but would dismiss anything that hurt my precious ego, not fully digesting the pill. I decided to experiment with the new females I was working with, had some success but ultimately succumbed to blue pill ways, emasculated myself in my social setting, and how I took it all back.

Introduction

It started off with “this one girl.” Yup, we all know how that goes. We were all new to this environment, getting to know each other, and I caught the eye of this beautiful creature. I knew enough TRP to understand IOI’s so I assumed attraction, was charismatic, and escalated things. We’ll call her Sarah.

So Sarah is objectively pretty, and she knows this. Everywhere we go, she turns heads, and she eats it up. I manage to keep myself in check and never feed into her beauty seriously, I just manage to focus on having a good time with her. I can tell she’s starting to catch some feelings as well but I continue to play it cool.

Let me preface this by stating: Never shit where you eat. She was a cohort that I was going to spend the next few years in close proximity with, but I threw caution to the wind.

Enter shit tests. This whole time spent with her has been going well, I’m doing everything right. I’m coming off as solid, not affected by her looks, and only interested in fun. We hang out more and more and she gets more physical with me. Then suddenly, she’s blowing me off. She’s hanging out with another guy, seemingly preferring him over me. I’m a pretty good looking guy and have a fair amount of confidence so I’m not threatened by this other guy. In a way, I knew what she was doing, but I handled it in a bad way.

I find yet another cohort, we’ll call her Carmen. Yes I know, dumb and dumber ideas here. Carmen isn’t as pretty as Sarah but damn is she feisty, a ball of energy, and an amazing body. I decide, as punishment, to ignore Sarah and work on things with Carmen. The only problem with Carmen is she is in a serious relationship. But that doesn’t stop her from flirting like no other.

Body

Carmen and I just click. Everywhere we go, it’s me and her always on each other. I have completely forgotten about Sarah by this point. Carmen is just so much fun and getting her affection isn’t a chore. I begin developing oneitis without realizing it. In the back of my mind, while we’re touching and dancing, I’m thinking she’s a little slut to be behaving like this when she has a boyfriend back home. But I didn’t care, we had “something special.” It was obviously special enough to make me forget about Sarah.

In fact, what we had was so “special,” I began thinking about more than just her pussy. I started to think of how well we got along, and no matter what we were doing, we always managed to make it fun. I completely ignored all the signs of her flirtatious ways. It didn’t matter that she would flirt with other guys, what we had was “real.” I was fantasizing how fun we would be having if we were dating… you know like make it official? People were already questioning what was going on between us, might as well make it a thing… right?

Wrong. So fucking wrong. Despite her BLATANT RED FLAGS, I decided she was dating material. I mean, that was the only way to her pussy. It all came to a peak one night of dancing. We were all over each other like usual. We head out to the dance floor and she’s pressing her body into me like never before. She’s having a great time, throwing her head back and laughing and I’m just taking it all in. It was so magical, me and my majestic unicorn frolicking on the dance floor, lost in the music and love. She leans in and puts her lips on my neck.

Now we have crossed lines before. Holding hands, her sitting on my lap, her calling me on her drive to see her boyfriend because she’s “bored.” But we never crossed-crossed lines up until this point.

As quickly as I feel her wet lips on my neck, they’re gone. There’s a moment where we both look down and acknowledge briefly then ignore what just happened. The night continues.

The next day I decide is my move. If I’m going to date her, I need to do it right, I ask to meet for coffee after work. The plan is I tell her my undying love and she realizes what we have is special, breaks up with her boyfriend, and we begin dating.

Cringe.

It didn’t go that way at all. I told her I liked her, face to face. She acted shocked. She said she had no idea, that she knows she can be too friendly sometimes. I bring up the kiss and she gaslights me. Claims she doesn’t remember ever doing that and that she was drinking a lot that night (she wasn’t).

There I’m sitting, like a complete chump. She’s asking how long I’ve felt this way. Asking why her. Seeking all this validation and I’m just giving it to her, showing her every card I have. And in all my beta-ness, I ask her how she feels. “I mean, I don’t know, you’re cool…” I realize how embarrassing this was and that I’ve lost. I tell her I don’t want to make things weird and that we should probably not get as friendly in the future to avoid these situations.

Despite my “success” up to this point, I had forgotten some harsh red pill truths. I didn’t keep frame, I got involved with a coworker, I got involved with a taken girl, I developed oneitis, I ignored red flags, and most importantly, I disrespected myself.

So at my lowest, I try to remain humble. I try to be a friend to her because we are all in the same social circle. But at the same time, I’m so worried people are talking behind my back, mocking me and my failed efforts. She won, I lost. I try to take it on the chin but it’s hard.

When we go out in a group, she reverts back to old ways. This time the touching is more sensual, the looks are more seductive. She knows she won, she knows she has my attention, she knows she has all the power, and she’s fine dangling that carrot in front of me every single time we hang out.

I am so ashamed of myself I distance myself from her. I enter a sort of monk mode, come back to TRP and start digesting it fully this time. I accept to hurt, the anger, and I just take it all in. It’s hard to let go of her because I wanted it so bad. But I remind myself over and over again that she only wanted my attention. And she played me for the fool I am.

I begin to be honest with myself. What we had was not “special.” I only wanted her pussy and I was justifying my “toxic masculinity” by telling myself I actually liked her as a person. I didn’t want to accept that what we had wasn’t “fun,” it was just flirting. I didn’t want to accept that I was putting her pussy on a pedestal. But I came around to finally accept that I was indeed a beta, that I was avoiding being a man, that AWALT.

I ignored her. I wasn’t friendly or “fun” with her anymore. I backed away when she would get touchy. I didn’t respond to her snaps and was short in her texts. I ensured she was always texting me first. I flirted with other women when we were out. There was no way I was going to let this bitch get away with my attention like that again. Even managed to catch a lay here and there with some strange.

Enter shit tests. Whatever she felt before, I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter. She definitely loved the attention and now that it was going away, she became malicious. She took the social circle and isolated me from it. At first I was devastated. I had no one. I was no longer being invited to the fun stuff, but I was sure to get snaps of them having the fun.

Remember Sarah? The whole time I was getting close with Carmen, Sarah was making efforts to which I was completely ignoring. Now Sarah is prettier than Carmen, but not nearly as fun. In fact, she’s a pain in the ass to hang with. But I had no one else, so I started to hang with her. Mainly to piss Carmen off. And like clockwork, the more attention Sarah was getting, the more she began not wanting it from me. But she was my only means of social interaction so I clung.

Well, I played myself again. I clung for the wrong reasons, pushed Sarah away, and isolated myself again. Fuck women, this shit is too complicated. I embraced monk mode.

I deleted all social media. I went out alone. If I saw a pretty girl, I approached. I embraced being alone. I was now the only one responsible for my happiness, and that felt good. Finally I had the power, not some attention whore. I decide what I want to do. I started having more and more success with random women. I never got attached, I kept my happiness my responsibility. Not some pussy. I don’t care what my old social group thinks of me, what they say about me, I’m me and fuck them if they don’t like it. I have nothing to prove.

After some time embracing my new self. Of establishing frame and never letting anyone shake it, I begin getting invites to hang with the old group again. Most of the time I deny but occasionally I’ll meet up with them. And when I do, holy shit they’re boring. All these snaps of the “fun” times I was missing out on were the same old lame people doing the same old lame things in the same old lame circle. What exactly was I missing out on again? I’m the one branching out, meeting new people, going on exciting adventures… and they’re the ones afraid to leave the tribe, always stuck up each others asses. And when I do decide to meet up with them, I hardly even hang in their group, I’m moving around the bar, chatting up pretty women and having a blast. Meanwhile they’re over there in a circle talking about work and buried in snapchat trying to give the impression of a fun time.

And where exactly does that leave Sarah and Carmen? Well they took my friends from me, they can have them. When Carmen sees me now, even if I’m talking to a group of girls, she’ll come up from behind, wrap her arms around me, and tell me how much she misses me, that’s it’s been exactly X amount of days since she’s seen me. And I just give a slight chuckle and go back to talking to the other girls. Then she goes and sulks in a corner and gets hammered drunk the rest of the night, feeling sorry for herself. Sarah doesn’t drink and she’ll try and bring random guys around me constantly. Trying to match me with the women I’m entertaining. But it doesn’t work like that. It’s not hard for a pretty girl to get a guy’s attention; she’s still boring to be around. Whereas I’m making a group of women laugh and get all kinds of tingles with my charisma. Sarah and Carmen get none of that anymore.

Conclusion

I know it’s a long ass read but I want to highlight some red pills here and how, if you’re in such a low position, to bring yourself out of it.

Carmen used me for attention. She was already satisfied, her ego well fed. I expected pussy in return and she would just hint at it all the time. I was never satisfied. It wasn’t until I was honest with myself that unless I’m getting pussy, she gets no attention. And she will not disrespect me like that again, or use me to disrespect her boyfriend. And now that I’ve taken it back, she’s getting increasingly more desperate in her attempts to get it back.

Sarah also used me for validation. I’m a good looking guy, and I’m fucking hilarious when I want to be. But I’m also prone to blue pill tendencies and suck at shit tests. I proved myself beta in her eyes but now she sees me differently.

They both took the social circle to isolate me in retaliation to me taking my attention away. But I have done nothing but improve with that isolation. I have formed new relationships, had more fun, grew as a man. I took lemons and made lemonade. I took lemons and became the fucking CEO of Tropicana. That in itself is masculinity. I took it back. I molded my environment to how I saw fit. They have no choice but to be attracted to that, it’s genetically wired in to their biology. They may try to hamster themselves to the contrary but their pussy has never been wetter.

The rare times I do hang with them, to visually see how depressed they get without my charm is invigorating. To see how boring the social circle is without my antics is amusing.

You may bash me and say I’m egotistical and I say to you, you’re God damn right I am. I’m the fucking prize. And my commitment is so fucking valuable the only way you’ll be able to get it from me is if you completely submit to my rules. I will ghost you otherwise and watch you struggle as your ego copes. And unless your pussy is served prepped and ready on a silver platter for me, I stay gone.

You men, us men, need to honestly grasp this. Your time, attention, commitment is the most valuable thing you have. Respect yourself and stop giving it away so freely. Make the women work for it. You can leverage it in exactly the same way women leverage their pussy.

In the end it doesn’t fucking matter. Maybe I’m the laughing stock of the group. Maybe I’m delusional. The point is I don’t care. I have the power now. The success I’ve had with complete strangers now tells me that whatever the case may be, I’m finally doing something right.

TL;DR

Caught oneitis for a unicorn, vomited my feelings all over her, was socially rejected, and am completely 100% okay with that. In fact I feel pretty good about it.