Last night I was supposed to go out with a girl that I tried to make my plate, but I'm pretty sure I failed that one. Regardless, I didn't want to wait around and if she said "We still meeting up?" (she didn't) I would've told her something came up anyway.

I went to the gym, worked on my back/abs, then went to my local little bar which I've decided is compromised. Every time I go it's post-wall women--which I don't even mind, I get along with older women pretty well--that could stand to lose a few pounds, or it's women who are already there with men.

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After finishing my beer there, I left and decided to head on down the road to a country bar I had heard about. Halfway there I was kind of getting cold feet and thinking "Eh maybe I shouldn't, and it's farther than I thought" but kept going anyway. I decide to start playing some of Alpha Male Strategies youtube videos because honestly that guy gets me laughing pretty fucking hard and figured it'd be a good reminder. He puts me in a good mood is all I can say.

I get there and the place is fucking packed. Probably 300 people in total. I've never seen so many cowfolk. And let me tell you, them cowgirls are some vivacious little ladies. They're always beaming and looking for fun.

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Feeling overwhelmed, I kind of walk around just to see what it is. There's an inside stage area, an outside stage area and a bull riding rink. Good times.

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I walk up to get a beer and then some anxiety sits in. I mean shit, I'm here by myself and I gotta go out and talk to folks--that's what I came here to do. Approach anxiety is still something I'm dealing with, but I'm getting better. The whole point of the night was to approach people, enjoy myself, all that shit. I'm generally pretty social, but starting the interaction always gets me worked up. Ah well.

I'm drinking my beer watching the folks dance to some George Strait tunes. A couple of girls end up standing next to me, both with two beers in their hands. I make some joke about double-fisting and they say they're holding it for their friends who are out there dancing (duh). We chit chat, they seem immediately warm and receptive, and that eases me up a bit. I ask if they dance, they say yes. I tell them I haven't danced the two-step or do-si-do or whatever it is they're doing and ask them to teach me. The cuter one says "Well I don't know how to lead" (which is a common theme through the night). Eh that's fine, miss.

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Their friends come back at some point--a guy and a girl. I'm talking to the guy about where they're from, how they know each other, that sorta stuff and the girl--Katherine--interjects and says "Hi I'm Katherine," clearly eager to meet me and get talking. I tell you this woman was probably the most feminine dame I've come across in some time. Exhuberant, kind, she would later say she's a "hippie from CO" though you wouldn't guess it by her love for country music and the way she dressed. If anything, I looked more like a hippie.

Realizing that not knowing how to dance was going to shoot me in the foot for the rest of the night--and for the rest of my life--I went out on a limb and asked her to teach me. She said she'd love to and we danced a song or two. Okay, keep my hands on hers at all times, no letting go. Relax, she says. I'm always stiff and rigid when learning, I think most folks are. I used to play a piano like it was a nail and my fingers were hammers. Showing me all the twirling and how to lead and where to put my arm so it's not painful and the push and pull of bringing her in close, then far away, etc. Really a great teacher, very forgiving and precisely critical. I told her she was a great teacher, which may have been "validation" but fuck it. I was quite genuinely taken aback with her kindheartedness. She returned the favor and told me I was a quick learner. The song ends, I go back to the spot we were at and her and the girls end up going out to the dance floor.

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They dance for a bit and somehow one of the other girls in that group ends up kind of stranded on the dancefloor. I go in and swoop her up and we begin dancing. She says "Wow this is your first time?" and I tell her yes. She says I'm doing alright. It was quite nice of her.

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The band goes to take a break and the group I had just met says they're gonna go outside and watch the bullriding. I tell them alright, and stay inside, making more approaches. No oneitis, I think. No oneitis. I figure that following them is probably the worst thing I can do, and will demonstrate low SMV, if it hasn't already been completely shattered by having a girl lead me in a dance. But you gotta bite the bullet sometime, eh? Better now than never. I also believe that being a humble, open, curious person could be a high SMV trait as in "I don't care if I look like a fool, I want to learn" so maybe there's that, too.

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One group of girls were older, though I couldn't tell by how much. I just approached them anyway. The first woman told me her mother's name was the same as mine (though spelled different) so we riffed on that for a bit. Her blond friend with glasses was checking on her 9-year old son who was going to bed. She also said to me there are a lot of young ladies here (which was true) and that I have my pick of the litter. Thanks mom!

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I go to the bathroom and meet Kyle. He seems like a good man. We riff. I tell him that I saw a group of girls just standing by the dance floor waiting for the band to start, and if he goes and dances with him he'll have a good time. He says he doesn't dance. I tell him I just learned. He jokes about me teaching him. We part.

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Back at the dance floor Kyle is talking to a girl and I say to her "You should dance with this fool", trying to help the guy out. She was a cute girl--taller. Kyle says she's weird/crazy. Whatever. I dance with her for a bit, then dump her off on Kyle. Last I saw he was headed for the floor. Good man, Kyle. Props, buddy.

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After watching some bullriding for a bit and talking to Peter who was from Buffalo, NY ("you don't have a southwestern accent" he says to me) I head back for the dance floor. On my way I see this guy who looks like he could be in King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizzard. So I stop him and tell him that. People say he looks like Robert Plant. I tell him I disagree. The girls from before (Katherin et. al) are waiting in line for the bathroom and they get my attention, talking to me. I tell them I'll see them on the dance floor.

On the way to the dance floor I spot another group of girls who are kinda cute, but whatever--it's about numbers and conquering AA. Plus I needed a group of girls to talk to before the girls I cared about actually got back. Abundance, high SMV, you know the drill. Turns out one of them went to high school with a buddy of mine. She says she was a professional baton twirler. Cute.

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Katherine and her friend come back and I say to her "Thanks again for teaching me" and she says "Oh yeah have you been dancing with all the women?" and I said that I had. I ask her to show me a move I've forgotten. We begin to dance and then I ask (stupidly) "You wanna go to the dance floor?" and she says to me "I don't know, you're the man. You're supposed to lead" so I took her hand and there I went.

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We dance. She shows me moves. I ask her how you do that thing where her leg ends up in the air and she says that's too advanced for her, but does this thing where she leans back and my arm is wrapped around her thigh, bumping into another girl as she does this. Whoops. They apologize and we continue dancing. I tell her she's got a big pink bump on her head like in the cartoons.

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She shows me this one move where she twirls around and I follow her hands up, then back down as they land on her ass. When they get there she smiles and says "Aha that's it, just like that." The band plays Sweet Caroline and we're dancing and singing and she tells me I have a nice voice. I try to lead the dance a bit more now that I'm more confident. She asks when I was born, I tell her July. I guess she's a taurus and wanted to meet a cancer. I don't know. I smile and tell her it's all a bunch of made-up stuff and she seems mildly offended. I think astrology is one big shit test I haven't figured out yet.

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I say to her "Let's grab a drink sometime" and she says "Yes! I'd like to grab a drink with you" and I get her number. In hindsight, I probably should've gotten the drink then and there, but I haven't figured out isolating yet. Plus, I actually wanted to go soon as it was getting late and I had business in the morning. We swap partners, me dancing with one of her friends and when the songs are over I decide to leave.

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I texted her today and tried to set up a date at this bar for Thursday. She can't do Thursday, and she asks "Is this where you always take women?" and I say "Wow how'd you know? The bartender is a real great wingman there." Hope I passed the shit test. I've tried to set up for Monday instead, so we'll see.

EDIT: Got the response and she says she's not interested. Deleted and nexted.

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All in all, I'd say it was a success. Maybe not by RP standards, but I went out and accomplished what I set out to do: Deal with approach anxiety, and try and approach multiple women. I guess I had only talked to, say...12-15 women in all? And there were so many it was pretty insane. Truthfully the only one whose number I wanted (out of those I talked to, admittedly) was the one I got, and she seemed into me, so there's that. I told myself whatever happens/doesn't happen with her, I enjoyed myself and it was good.

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Abundance mentality is very freeing, I'm finding. If I get rejected by these group of girls, so what? There are hundreds of them in this one place. If they're no fun to talk to/they don't dig my vibes, oh well. Next.