Scott Alexander's latest blog post includes a nice paragraph of introductory redpill theory:
On a related note: a lot of intelligent, responsible, basically decent young men complain of romantic failure. Although the media has tried hard to make this look like some kind of horrifying desire to rape everybody because they believe are entitled to whatever and whoever they want, the basic complaint is more prosaic: “I try to be a nice guy who contributes to society and respects others; how come I’m a miserable 25-year-old virgin, whereas every bully and jerk and frat bro I know is able to get a semi-infinite supply of sex partners whom they seduce, abuse, and dump?” This complaint isn’t imaginary; studies have shown that criminals are more likely to have lost their virginity earlier, that boys with more aggressive and dishonest behaviors have earlier age of first sexual intercourse, and that women find men with dark triad traits more attractive. I used to work in a psychiatric hospital that served primarily adolescents with a history of violence or legal issues; most of them had had multiple sexual encounters by age fifteen; only half of MIT students in their late teens and early 20s have had sex at all.
He then ruins it by propagating the blue pill lie that this is fine because the MIT graduates are pursuing a delayed gratification strategy and that they will have the last laugh when their ability as providers gets them a good wife in the end. This used to work back when women's sexual choices were controlled by their fathers and the government wasn't bending over backwards to make women financially independent through welfare, anti-discrimination laws, affirmative action, and pointless make-work, but not anymore. Now women would rather support themselves through their twenties while getting pumped and dumped by Chad Thundercock, and maybe at the end after they have become single mothers and hit the wall they use the last of their beauty and fertility to settle down with a beta provider if they can stomach it.
Commenter Michael Watts sets the record straight:
I’ve had a lot of Chinese people ask me why I seem to have such an attraction to China, and what I’ve got against my native land (the US) that would make me hate it so much.
I’ve always perceived, embedded deeply within American culture, the twin ideas that the only valid reason to marry someone is because you’re infatuated, and in particular that it is a grave mistake, a modern-day cardinal sin, to marry someone for money (“their obvious ability to provide for the children”). It’s hard not to take this as an egregious personal attack on the only strategy I’d hope to have any chance of success with. Engineers want to marry too. Do we really need to train women out of being willing to do it?
My mother once told me about a patient of hers who had felt herself aging out of the marriage market and married a long-term friend. The patient said this man was a loving husband and father, earning well and taking good care of the children. But… he wasn’t “exciting”. She wanted to leave him. (And note! She wanted to leave the father of multiple children for not being “exciting”.)
In contrast, I taught in an English-immersion school in Shanghai for a year, and every American teacher noticed that the boy earning top grades in each grade was dating the girl doing the same.
A Chinese college student told me that her favorite color was green. I asked why green, and she responded that a boy she’d liked in elementary school had liked green. I asked what it had been about that boy, and her response?
“He was such a good student.”
Meanwhile, back in America, you get preemptively demonized for trying to attract women with the promise of being able to have a comfortable life.
vV_Vv adds:
It’s not that women stopped marrying for money because the cultural norms changed; the cultural norms changed because women stopped marrying for money, which happened because women started entering the workforce in greater numbers and being able to provide for themselves so they wouldn’t need to marry for money anymore.
And those who don’t enter the workforce can always live on child support and welfare checks.
If the future holds high unemployment and UBI, the situation will be even more extreme: marriage will be rare, and only the top ~10-20% most attractive men will father children, the other men will be pressured to become de facto asexual or even be castrated (did anybody say puberty blockers?). Looks similar to how we breed livestock.
chazthundergut 5y ago
Imagine that you are in charge of designing our species.
You know the kind of environment that humans are going to live in (a brutal environment) and the kind of organisms that we will be competing with (killers).
You get to decide which traits and behaviors are selected for by the females, which determines the course of our evolution.
"Nice" is pretty much the last thing you'd want them to select for.
greenlittleman 5y ago
Being a provider is a trait selected by evolution too. There couldn't be too much males who only fuck women without taking care about children, because in so called brutal environment a woman with a child destined to die without provider of resources and defence. If we talk about humans then compared to other primates we look like kids, just compare our physical traits (google neoteny) to gorillas among which females always choose alpha male. Instead humans just have two reproductive strategy - monogamous and polygamous, we use it based on our options. In modern western society women have the option to follow polygamous strategy, this is hypergamy. And we at red pill try to become a male who have have this option too. Still majority of males should follow monogamous sexual strategy, because they don't have much a choice and being nice is part of this strategy.
BittyMitty 5y ago
Nice can hide resent and ulterior motives.
In my experience, nice people will back stab you when they get the chance, also they will never confront you directly.
I can smell them a mile away.
They have this shiny aura of righteousness, but the rotten stench is there to stay.
xcrazytx 5y ago
Haha awesome way to put it
tempolaca 5y ago
However, nice guys keep reproducing. Remember that. Ultra-violent masculine psychotic men get killed early and their kids don't survive. Meanwhile the nice guy has 9 kids (4 are probably from the butcher but whatever, he still won the gene race).
The way to survive a brutal environment is not to be a single brutal male, but to form an organized army of nice guys. There is nothing more blue-pill than to be a soldier and be sent to die for a low pay.
The_Frag_Man 5y ago
It's more complicated than that. In order to have an advanced society we need to co-operate. I'm happy for humanity to advance beyond hunter-gatherers.
Chaddeus_Rex 5y ago
You have it wrong. Hubter gatherers lived and hunted in tribes. Their very survival depended on intra-tribal cooperation. Humans are cooperative hunters, like wolves we hunt in packs but what gave us the edge was the ability to make weapons (ie tools for different animals) and talk (its easier to corner large prey when you can communicate).
In modern,"complex" society every man is isolated from his peers for he then finds it harder to resist the consumer lifestyle.
The_Frag_Man 5y ago
Our complex society lets us achieve more with technology, medicine, etc. Hunter gatherers aren't going to space.
magx01 5y ago
Ya great meanwhile everyone is depressed, anxious, confused, destroying their bodies and minds with poor diets and lack of exercise and suicide rates are ever rising.
We're 'civilizing' ourselves into misery.
Chaddeus_Rex 5y ago
Who cares about all that shit? Alot of good it has done us. We are still on this planet and unlikely to reach any other habitable planets.
We live slightly longer but our women are fucked and you can buy a whole lot of meaningless shit.
Wow so "complex"
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Nicolas0631 5y ago
Yep that's why it is that way, there a minority that is in power and control while the rest of the population provide for them.
So the providers are expected to co-operate so that the governing minority can enjoy life even more.
poohead5 5y ago
Where do people get this idea that hunter-gatherers were savage ape like hominids who killed each other for fun? Does eating a plant heavy diet make us so much better than them? How so?
JellyRev 5y ago
"nice" was artificially selected by european society for over a thousand years. 1000 years of banned cousin marriage and 1000 years of strict execution punishment for the bad boy. dark triad genes wiped out for the most part. banning cousin marriage stopped clan/tribal culture and likely some genetic change.
That is what created this modern "nice society"
"Nice" is amazing for creating a high trust society with high levels of property rights. As these certain genetic clusters of people go extinct so will property rights in the western form.
Nice is a great thing for higher civilization as long as you can get these nice people to reproduce.
The_Frag_Man 5y ago
I agree with you.
This is why we had traditional marriage..
Alwaysafraidtodie 5y ago
That's bullshit. My family is full of nice normal people and I ended up being a savage, epigenetics is a thing. When it comes to people being uncivilized pieces of shit nurture>nature
JellyRev 5y ago
its a game of probabilities m8. Nuture is of course important, certain genes are activated or turned off by the environment. But different groups have different statistical percentages of certain genes. Some genes variants remain steady regardless of environment while some variants are very reactive to environment. MAO genes for example are quite different in aggregate between the various groups(races, ethnic groups).
It's getting off topic though.
Alwaysafraidtodie 5y ago
Yeah, and I'd be willing to bet that the warrior genes in immigrant populations aren't much higher than in "native" americans and europeans, and that the pussification is mostly of cultural origin.
dwarfarchist9001 5y ago
Well, you are wrong. The variant of the MAOA known to be related to aggression and criminality is twice as common in blacks as it is in whites. Melanin is also a neurotransmitter that regulates aggression and promiscuity in essentially every animal that has a brain.
Culture is downstream of genetics
Alwaysafraidtodie 5y ago
And black people have been a part of the american population for what, 300 years now?
leftajar 5y ago
This is the correct answer.
Human instincts, in a myriad of ways, have not caught up with modern civilization.
A great example is our sweet tooth: it used to be that fresh fruit was our only source of Vitamin C, which primates don't self-manufacture, unlike lesser mammals. Hence, we have a sweet tooth to reward fruit-eating.
Now, we have granulated sugar oozing out of every grocery store product, and as a result, tons of people have Type 1 Diabetes.
Female hypergamy is the "sweet tooth" of sexual selection for women: a legacy instinct that now runs counter to the modern environment.
poohead5 5y ago
Fresh meat has vitamin C. The reason sailors needed fruit to avoid scurvy is because the meat they ate on voyages was cured.
edefakiel 5y ago
Vitamin C competes with sugar, you don't need more than the vitamin C found in meat if you don't eat sweet fruits. The only use of sweet was to get us fat in the end of the summer towards the purpose of surviving the cold winter.
TyroneTheDriver 5y ago
Keep telling people this shit.
We are still apes. Smart, violent apes.
If you’re looking for a world where no “evil” exists, if that’s even a thing, come back in a few hundred million years.
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juiceboxguy85 5y ago
I have noticed recently that young women seem to have deeper voices than men and many are getting taller. It's weird.
surfsusa 5y ago
Too Much Soy increases estrogen production in Males. A whopping 35 percent of bottle-fed babies in the United States receive at least some of their protein from soy. Medical journals suggest that even lower doses—such as the amount in the 25-gram soy protein target cited by the FDA—have the potential to wreak hormonal havoc. Thus the rise of Soy Boys and the decrease in the amount of Alphas
poohead5 5y ago
Diet plays a huge role in childrens' health and development. Kids aren't getting enough quality animal foods with high amounts of saturated fats and cholesterol. All the nasty shit in our environment certainly aren't helping matters either.
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poohead5 5y ago
I meant purely on a physiological level. A modern beta simp raised on a meat based diet might be a weakling compared to the grain eating peasant, but he would be taller, have better facial and dental structure, larger brain etc.
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blacklightsleaze 5y ago
Hmm... not sure about this. I noticed not only in me but in my friends that we are smaller compared to our father. My father is at my height, but his bone structure is far larger than mine. His shoulders are wider, his wrist are thicker. He is 70 yo and his forearms are bigger than mine and I lift from like 10 years. Even my moms hands are with thicker bones than mine. And I was raised in home farm where I used to eat homemade products, all of it, cheese, mean, milk, vegetables, fruits. I was very active kid. Genes are fucking random.
InsulinDaddy 5y ago
I love Rollo's term "the old and new set of books" when it comes to this.
BP men have been taught over the years to play by the "old set" and to put themselves at the mercy of hypergamous nature, while the RP rules basically hacks hypergamy.
All the best to my MIT fellas out there.
anon59874 5y ago
Ultimately this post captures the reason why this subreddit has been Quarantined and will eventually be banned by reddit employees.
Everything you find of value here, back it up on archive because these thoughts catching and implemented on all new young men terrify the new age democrat liberal left.
For those of you who find this post mysterious and fascinating, Give the first six seasons of game of thrones a solid watch, it gets off to a rough start with the blood, guts and senseless violence, but if you can get through the first few shocks and understand the plot, you'll find the timeless answer to these questions. George R. R. Martin had long since captured the spirit of the repill alpha long before we were born. I'll let Tywin explain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doY0IjisBlk
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anon59874 5y ago
Tywin was gifted by the author to have most of everything together of the redpilled alpha, but he was too good and took it a step to far and had bad luck. He put business and his preference for the family line before his blind loyalty to family. He sacraficed his own principles because he knew Tyrion was innocent. And so he underestimated the one person in the world who was able to defeat Tywin at his own game, the child he trained. Tywin let love destroy him.
That's a major theme of this sub, we go through 16 years of education learning about photosynthesis and cumulonimbus clouds, but not a single hour is allocated to that disaster between your knees that your enemies use against you, to ruin you to their benefit.
catalina-out 5y ago
It's fun to think that their agenda is that devious. But I'm pretty sure it's much shallower than that.
They see posts generalizing women, calling them all out for being cock hungry, money chasing sluts. So they call it mysoginstic.
They see articles talking about the importance of frame, and using words like "alpha" and "beta". So they call it "fake alpha PU game literature".
They don't actually look deeper into the meanings of what they read, and try to understand it. They take it at face value and make a decision on what to think about it. This is why TRP attracts a lot of angry, misogynistic, "incel"-type men. They see shit like "All women are sluts and are just riding the cock carousel until they settle down with their beta bux provider", and think "I KNEW IT. I TOTALLY AGREE". So, they read more into it, and become "red pilled".
This obviously isn't to say that every red pilled person is a mysoginstic incel. But, people only accept the red pill as fact, if they can relate to it. This is why the importance of not trying to "red pill" other men is stressed so much. You need to want to open yourself up to RP ideologies. If you can't relate to, and understand what's being said, then you won't agree with it.
Jaereth 5y ago
Same old shit.
Who do you want to take investment advice from? The guy who retired when he was 40 a cash millionaire, or the guy who got a few shares from the company he works at and talks shit like he knows what he's doing. They are in two different worlds, and stock option dude can't really understand the moves and strategies 40 year old cash millionaire did to get to his spot in life.
Same with relationships. I don't want to her how or why I should or shouldn't act with women from:
Other women
Beta bucks husbands
Bitch men who's wives run their lives
Men dating/married to 18 stone landwhales
Men raising another man's kids
Virgins
"I married the first girl that ever slept with me" losers.
"Well yeah she did cheat on me once and every one in my friends group knows it but, we worked it out and still love each other - it's about forgiveness" losers
tl;dr Take your advice from coaches with a proven winning record, not proven losing records and DEFINITELY not the coach of the opposing team!
OpenJizzHandFaceSlap 5y ago
If I am remembering correctly: 1 Stone = 14.5 Pounds. Meaning that is a BIG bitch..
geo_gan 5y ago
It’s funny but if men think about it, most of their male friends & relations fall into one or more of the above groups, and these are the idiots a lot of us listen to for women related advice.
Ansec 5y ago
Here's the thing. Money and a good job are easy to come by now. Women can get it themselves. So playing by the old rules isn't appealing to them anymore. The old rules are the base level now. You have to up it in order to compete.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
So, gents, especially Younglings, I will repeat, reiterate, and say again:
You can complain that women love jerks or you can be the jerk they love.
Or more on point: you can be the jerk who she fucks.
Ex. I have a slave girl. When we are together, she serves me, domestically and sexually. She dresses (and undresses) how I say, fucks when I say, sucks my cock when I say, gets tied up when I say, etc. She has a ton of orbiters who give her things, and each tells her how he would "treat her so good" if only she was "his girl," and so on. But who does she give the puss to? Not them. And if she ever fucked one of them by accident, they'd probably get 'starfish sex' because they don't know how to unlock her boiling inner depravity.
You can either moan about how the world isn't "fair" or you can live in the world we actually live in and utilize your vision to your advantage.
Casanova-Quinn 5y ago
I agree with your point, but I think the concept of "jerks" needs to be clarified, at least for the novice crowd. Nice guys tend to label any guy who isn't "nice" as a jerk. Most "jerks" are just normal guys who don't act like pussy whipped betas around women. They're not afraid to tease, disagree, or be direct with women. They're masculine men, that's it. It doesn't mean they act rudely in general to everyone in their life.
zestytacoz 5y ago
Most of those guys that complained already outline their solution. Why don't they try it?
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Blue pill programming is strong.
awakenedspirit1 5y ago
At times this can seem difficult. My current personality allowed me to get pretty far in life. Any advice on how to transition to more of a "jerk"? I've been experimenting with being more dismissive and uninterested. When I was first learning pick up, I would purposefully approach and be direct. Once I learned how to be "creepy" I could dial it back to be more mildly subversive. Part of me seems hesitant to do the same and be called "an asshole". Just bite the bullet?
magx01 5y ago
Most of it is just treating them the same way u treat anyone else. Don't elevate them in your mind. Don't give them special treatment. The rest is just knowing your worth and acting like you don't need them (which you do not). If they come or they go you're still the same.
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2011_dreamer 5y ago
You’re in the right track but you’re wrong. You’re advocating men to be jerks? Don’t you realize that the end result of this policy is a world full of jerks? A world that is un-necessarily brutal and abrasive. The world is already hard and brutal and always will be. Everyone making it worse by being jerks is dumb. Plus most men just aren’t jerks.
The actual solution is just to go back to the way things were. Women don’t vote and don’t make much money. Etc etc. arrange society so that sexual economics are in balance. There is at least one clever configuration of rules and policies that would treat men very well without treading too much on women. Telling people to be jerks is ignoring the larger problem and very short sighted.
O--- 5y ago
Alright. You go ahead and try to change all of civilization, while I'll be over there gaming chicks.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
That sounds remarkably like something that a jerk would say.
zestytacoz 5y ago
He's giving the solution individual men can use to better their own situation. Individually.
Casanova-Quinn 5y ago
You're taking the word "jerk" too literally. Nice guys tend to label any guy who isn't "nice" as a jerk. Most "jerks" are just normal guys who don't act like pussy whipped betas around women. They're not afraid to tease, disagree, or be direct with women. They're masculine men, that's it. It doesn't mean they act rudely in general to everyone in their life.
darkstar1031 5y ago
That old lie "Dulce et decorum est, pro patria mori"
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zeeshans14 5y ago
For those who cba googling it it translates to : "It is sweet and proper to die for one's country."
blr1998 5y ago
sometimes I feel like there's nothing nobler than going into battle and possibly dying for something you believe in. but the older I get the more I realize how insane that idea is, how brainwashed kids are by the government, how futile dying for any "cause" is.
poohead5 5y ago
What if your cause is anti-government?
darkstar1031 5y ago
It doesn't matter what cause it is. Only the fool believes dying is noble.
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Platos_slow_brother 5y ago
If only. It is better to acknowledge that too often women engage in debt-financed "education" to get multiple, worthless degrees. Or they have fairly low-level make-work or service jobs that do not provide enough value to cover their salary, so assistance from parents or government is required. But on balance such people are not supporting themselves, they are free-riding on society, waiting for a higher-status, higher-income guy to make the fairy tale come true.
But this Friday it will be shots, shots, shots, and some loser lothario.
EL_Miore 5y ago
Lmao. Yo, I think this post gives way too much credit to Women. I've seen dudes with 2 sets of front teeth father children.
Otherwise, good post.
Luckyluke23 5y ago
great post man. I've always thought guy was stupid for " buying" all these women shit. Like they were stuck in the 1950 model of dating where taking the girl on a date AND paying for it was the man's job. MOSTLY because the women didn't have the money to do so.
now women have money if not MORE more than men and you are STILL trying to do the same thing. it just boggles my mind. They have money so they can pay for there own shit.
xcrazytx 5y ago
Depends on the women really, if you're chasing club rats, ya they want they douchiest chad there. But if you are more going for girls at the cafe or yoga class, they may be into a guy who is interesting and nice. I think the line is between being nice and being boring. you can be a nice, good person and still be interesting and extremely sexual. But if you are a boring fuck who victimized himself and blames women for not liking you then, ya , you will spend most nights watching porn and bitching about it on reddit. I left the US a few years ago so maybe it is different now, in South America the women like manly guys, but also fun and nice guys too. If you act like an asshole they immediately shut you off
circlingldn 5y ago
Alot of the yoga pants wearning gym women are flirting with bbcs whilsts their husband are director of xyz
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Tombert_Williams 5y ago
The dichotomy is not nice vs. jerk. It is weak vs. strong. You don’t NECESSARILY have to be an asshole. But you have to be strong, and firm enough in living your life according to your own terms that you are willing to be seen as being an asshole, if need be.
xcrazytx 5y ago
Right, I agree with you on this.
zestytacoz 5y ago
Very true, it's just that jerks exhibit those behaviors more often than kindhearted guys.
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blr1998 5y ago
Women at yoga are just preemptively prepping for the wall. they want to decrease the *splat* . So if you're searching or girls at the cafe or yoga class, beware of their intentions which is to secure a beta provider. obviously there are exceptions
Pooptrition 5y ago
People are at yoga cause it reduces pain, improves balance and flexibility, and makes you feel great. Practitioners are definitely not solely motivated by increasing their sexual value. I know one gorgeous yoga teacher who is polyamorous and quite fun - i suspect if anything, her only sexual motivation would be to make sex more comfortable and fun.
HardTruths83 5y ago
Shit, I go to yoga because all the lifting leads you to being literally "musclebound" (medical term, look it up) and I like to be flexible so that I can do functional things with my strength, like run and Spartan Race/Tough Mudder, stuff like that. Also, a single hour of emptying my mind once a month is amazing for mental health.
RedDespair 5y ago
But did you clean up your room?
I can't help bashing JP for his sexual selection hierarchy theory
anon59874 5y ago
I disagree that he ruined it. Half way down this page https://therationalmale.com/2012/06/12/smv-in-girl-world you'll see a chart plotting SMV on the vertical against Age for men and women on the horizontal. This iron law is more powerful than the government plus fathers plus religious ideology combined. You're using emotional based reasoning, searching for the cause of an irritant and grasping the nearest plausible explanation. The progressive democratic liberal leftist government and religion with fathers giving it power is beholden to certain biological and physical laws. The MIT graduates who delayed gratification, delayed sex and obeyed their fathers who said don't get tangled up in the turd flinging hominid shit show of men figuring out who they are, and focus on burying your face in books, and being all you can be.
Heh, you must not have been raised in the Church because you got this backwards. The bible always was and always has been extremely clear not to marry for love, but instead to marry for wealth transfers and passive income generating properties, this is an issue of contention where the democrat liberal left progressives mocked the old rugged bible as a bankrupt ideology since it says marry for properties rather than marry for love according to the directives of wise fathers. Marry for money, so that you will have the financial freedom to put energy into raising your kids, rather than wasting your entire life toiling in the soil in exchange for just enough food to not die.
Yes because you've untangled the grand deception, and turning the shit kebab stick around and feeding it back to the person handing it to you: This is not acceptable.
This is where the post goes from overstating to under-stating. Over the last 1200 million years, the minds and torsos of humans of men and women co-evolve. Whenever a clique of hominids suffer too many males who are sitting around and being a waste of resources and a waste of space because the women do all the work, when the men will not fight each other to the death in tournaments, thus refining the seed, then the women will create situations where she presents to the opposing enemy tribe to get the proverbial train back on the tracks and men and women back into their respective evolutionary places. As we surround ourselves with the omniscient eye of technology, aggressive male boyishness is going to be extinguished, creating a whole generation of aimless and useless men who don't fight. As far as evolution and natural selection is concerned, the society is completely out of order and will work tirelessly to correct it. How this correction will occur is still yet to be seen. You can feel the tears start to form when you hear Vice president Pence say things like this: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-12-03/a-wall-street-rule-for-the-metoo-era-avoid-women-at-all-cost?srnd=premium
TheEgyptianConqueror 5y ago
I was actually going to post this article on this sub. If the most analytical fuckers in America see the bullshit, you know they know what's up
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BumblingBeta 5y ago
Focusing on your career and hobbies is simply a male coping mechanism for those who can't get laid. All this "focus on yourself and the women will come" is just something we tell guys who can't get laid - so they can become productive to society, focus their energies on something else, with the promise of sex at the end of it all (which rarely happens). This is not just some BS that blue-pilled society feeds us, this is what TRP says as well.
I've seen so many guys immerse themselves in their hobbies and careers because deep down, they know they're not attractive to women, so it's a waste of time to focus on them. "Forget bitches, make money" is just male hamstering for guys who can't get laid.
If you want women to be attracted to you, you've got to focus your life on women. No, I don't mean you should be needy and clingy. What I mean is focus on what women truly want and what's attractive to them. Don't skirt around the issue with your hobbies or career or money, because that's just masking the true problem of your inability to get laid.
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blr1998 5y ago
haters gonna hate but you're right. lifting iseven a mental coping mechanism for betas. I used to try and be "alpha" by being a legit asshole to everyone, trying to get huge in the gym, etc... now to get laid all I need to do is play guitar, be somewhat muscular, and flirt with chicks
wobbleelbbow 5y ago
Yes.
Wrong. Making improvements, yes, but focus? I strict no. You may have similar idea in mind just like me but I just do not like your wording. A woman should never be a focus of man's life, even if that man is a 40 year old virgin.
BewareTheOldMan 5y ago
"A woman should never be a focus of man's life..."
I concur and support this statement.
Get your body, your health, your money/finances, your confidence and intellect, and your masculinity in order.
I'm not saying men don't have to exert some effort toward women, but when you're ready you won't have to max effort.
​
BumblingBeta 5y ago
Focus on the things that women find attractive, then do them. Too often, people give advice like 'focus on career/hobbies" when that will get them no further to getting laid with women. A guy could quite easily take up fishing or woodwork or some other hobby and focus his energies on that, but it's going to get him zero pussy - it's just a distraction from the true issue of why you can't get laid.
Ultimately, if you want someone to give you something (i.e. women giving you sex), you must focus on the things they want in order for them to give you that sex. These things are good looks, good body, high social status and a confident, masculine presence.
Focus on a career if you want a good career, focus on hobbies if you want enjoyable leisure time. Do not focus on career or hobbies if you want sex, that makes zero sense.
Howdoiusesync 5y ago
I think this post it just over analyzing what women find hot. From my personal experience I know I can get laid and have a good track record so far with HB's at the age of 23. Did it take up most of my time when actually having a long term thing, yes. Did I like it, no. Reason is some dudes are fucking boring no matter how much money they make. I remember one girl telling me she went on a date with a dude who makes 200k a year at the age of 21. She was getting me to call her to get her out of the situation of the date. I know a girl who would go through Tinder like water trying to find guys to bang who were relatively great looking from what I remember while living in a big city. I got that girl to stay around and want a relationship with me while I was focusing on my shit and passions in life. Was I broke a majority of the time, yes. When I did have free time did I go balls to the wall, yes. Now my point is that yes looks do stay, i'm genetically gifted to look the way I do. Am I 6'7 chad, no. I'm a Nordic dude living in a city with a fair height of 5'11 or some shit I rarely care. Now do I know what I want in life and have cut a lot of women and people in general out, yes. I feel better about this, I know I can get laid more frequently if some areas of my life were in a better position. There are times I think guys do need to just get a handle of some things. A majority of the time it's looking better, or getting the skills they need in order to excel in the world. There's nothing wrong with that. It's hard, very hard, especially when you give up the ideal life when people strive for it. I remember telling a buddy of mine I'm actually tired of girls because I can't focus on work(music production). His response was "I cannot relate". I personally do there are somethings that you do experience that is really over hyped in life. That many people don't see well or even notice anymore. Women and the endless supply is fucking awesome. Last year I was on top of my game as hell, but realized I was neglecting the things that mattered the most in life. Now i'm focusing on my career, and other aspects of life even health more and more as the days go by. I still am the dude that girl stated before calls in the middle of the night, and even told a mutual friend she "thinks about me after sleeping with other dudes." A lot of people are fucking lame it's a sad reality and not just women, but people in general ain't shit bro.
SUCK_MY_DICTIONARY 5y ago
There is a line you have to walk.
It's not about the career and hobbies, it's about the mentality. If you are doing anything in life just to make other people think you are high status, then you are not alpha. It doesn't really matter if you spend that time in the gym, or in college, or in a corporation. The old "alpha drug dealer" line.
On the contrary, if you are really good at chess, and you go balls to the wall on chess, you probably aren't going to meet girls doing that. However, if you go out and be social (i.e. bars, the world, etc.) that go-getter/expert mentality seeps into the rest of your life. That's why the people who are considered masters at anything are often pretty damn alpha. At the minimum, they are an alpha in their field.
If you want the first thing you're alpha at to be dating, it's like survival mode. Any social checks somebody does on you will come up negative - crappy job, crappy house, crappy car, no hobbies, no skills. If you come in with those bases covered, you cut yourself a huge break in that as bad as your game may be, the social checks all come out clean.
The equivalent of what I think you're saying here is if you are genetically predisposed to being attractive, that's the wrong thing to be, because only game counts. That's only true if you are extremely unattractive. Similarly, you shouldn't focus on career or hobbies if you are terrible at those things. If you are good at them, they're only going to make you better.
BitsAndBobs304 5y ago
preach man.. I've been saying it for long here and there, but even the red pill is much bluer than they believe..
I_STOMP_YOU 5y ago
You said it yourself. High status and masculinity attracts women. Good luck obtaining that with a decent career and hobbies
BumblingBeta 5y ago
I explained what I meant by that in the following sentences. For some reason, people associate "focusing on a woman" with being needy, clingy and showering her with gifts and attention. This is not what I mean. This will put a woman off.
First of all, find out what women want. Not by asking them, but by reading TRP. Then focus your energies on improving those areas. By improving these areas, it will improve other areas of your life as well (eg. lifting will help with your career), but primarily the focus should be on becoming attractive to women.
If you look at bodybuilding forums across the internet, there are plenty of dudes who have been lifting for 5+ years and still cannot get laid. Because they believed the bullshit that you must focus on your hobbies/career and women will naturally follow. Then they wonder why no women have naturally followed them.
ARUKET 5y ago
You may be taking this mantra a bit too literally. It is true that they naturally follow, but not solely by focusing on your hobbies and career. You still need to learn female psychology, how to game women, and how to seduce women, and then you need to actually put yourself out there. What people mean here when they say "focus on your hobbies/career and the pussy will follow" is that you don't need to spend your whole life orbiting chicks on social media trying to get their attention or going to the bar/club every night looking for women like most simps do. Working on game without working on yourself is PUA shit, all style no substance. And then working on yourself without working on game is MGTOW shit, where you end up jacked and rich but still miserable because you have no gf. The point is to do both.
TigerXtrm 5y ago
I like women as much as anyone else, but I refuse to live a life I do not want to live, and become a person I do not want to be, solely to maybe get women interested. Spending every free minute of every day by going to the gym, hanging around bars, swiping on Tinder, scouring dating sites and doing the stupid mating dance thing time and time again sounds like one of the most depressing things I've ever heard.
TRP is about self improvement first and foremost. So you focus on yourself first. You improve your own life. If your entire life is focused on chasing after women you might be more on the blue side of the spectrum than you think. Going to the gym 14 times a week doesn't change that.
BumblingBeta 5y ago
Fair enough, if you want to improve your own life in other ways unrelated to women, that's up to you. I've seen guys improve their lives in great ways, achieve great things, it got them recognition and respect, but it got them no closer to getting laid. If you want sex, you must improve in the areas that are attractive to women. This is a no-brainer.
TigerXtrm 5y ago
One does not exclude the other. According to 'the sidebar' the things that are attractive to women is, among others, status and money. Therefor, improving one's life to gain recognition, respect and a well paying job is also improving areas that are attractive to women. It's a win-win.
422456 5y ago
The “journey” not “escape“ of improving yourself is a coping mechanism for men who simply don’t meet the sexual marketplace top 20% threshold yet. Because the misandry bubble is tighter than ever with social media, this generation of younger men will have to wait many years before they even generate tingles to a woman compared to the rest of the men so readily available on the market today. Alot of young men consciously and sub-consciously know this and that’s why they are dropping off bridges like flies. Because women don’t need marriage or money from men anymore the only reason she wants to be with you is because she actually wants too. And even with the guys she actually wants to be with, she’ll get bored of them eventually. We are seeing a generation of permanent hypergamy and open relationships with child rates plummeting. I say enjoy your hobbies and do whatever the fuck you want to achieve in life because the decline is starting to tilt deeper into the sink day by day. There is no time left. Go and do what you want before the world goes to shit.
BumblingBeta 5y ago
Good post and I very much agree. However, I don't understand this point:
Who are "this generation of younger men" (i.e. what ages are they?) and who are "the rest of the men so readily available on the market today"?
​
422456 5y ago
Ages 25 and under - the ones who grew up on videos games and social media. Arguably I blame the cost of living and patents literally keeping their children plugged in on purpose so that they don’t realise how poor the family is for them to give them any money. What’s worse is the father goes along with it. This all started when men got lazy some 30 years ago and trusted the stay at home wife to handle all the money and cooking. Women got lazy and started using microwaved 2 minute meals and called it “food”. Technology, time &. money have made testosterone go down - which is why you see so many emotional pussies today.
zestytacoz 5y ago
He's referring to the crop of guys that are more feminine and passive, which is a big noticeable trend. This is opposed to older men who didn't grow up [as] feminized. It would be hard to determine a cutoff, but perhaps late millennial to zoomer
brotein_synthesis 5y ago
Yes and no. Money matters. Always. You wouldn't have the means to focus your life on women. Hell, you wouldn't even be able to AFFORD to pay attention.
Try dressing sharp, buying a motor cycle or having a gym subscription on minimum wage. So get real.
BitsAndBobs304 5y ago
lol @ the thought that dressing sharp and buying a motorcycle will get a pale skinny nerd women
blacklightsleaze 5y ago
you underestimate women if you think some of them won't fuck a guy, because he have cool car or motorcycle
BitsAndBobs304 5y ago
I can see a golddigger trying to bed a guy that has a car that looks expensive, but I can't imagine a woman fucking an ugly guy just because he has a cool motorcycle
BumblingBeta 5y ago
Why is it always about extremes? It's either $200k a year or minimum wage job, nothing in between.
BitsAndBobs304 5y ago
because while many women refuse to date unemployed men, the difference between earning 20 and 30k per year doesn't do much in dating terms despite being +50%.
there was even an article posted recently about how as the rich get richer and the poor get poorer the amount of money required to acquire status grows more and more, becoming more unreachable, removing one of the main historical incentives for men to work hard, causing more and more men to drop out of work / work only minimum part time and stay home in their free time
I_am_Jax_account 5y ago
This. Low paying work is entirely pointless for men and every man instinctively knows it. There's no difference in terms of dating between living at home jobless and having a crappy apartment on minimum wage. Work is about status and money. If it provides neither of those things, video games and porn are more fun.
BitsAndBobs304 5y ago
every year games get better, hardware gets better, porn gets better, porn hardware gets better, while women get pickier and pickier and more and more bitchy and pretentious and react toxic to anything other than subservient behaviour by non-chads
uebermacht 5y ago
What the fuck did I just read..
kentaro- 5y ago
That‘s what i want to know too..
BumblingBeta 5y ago
What is it about what I said that you don't understand?
My message is pretty simple - focus on the things women find attractive, in order to get laid with them. Those things are: good looks, good body, high social status, confident body language and masculine qualities.
Telling a guy to focus on his career or hobbies does not help him get laid. It just focuses his attention on something else. This is what men have been doing throughout history - the ones who can't get laid, focus their energies on other endeavours, such as curing cancer, inventions, building civilizations etc. It's a male coping mechanism - it doesn't get them any closer to getting laid, but at least they put their energies and frustrations to good use for the rest of society to benefit from.
uebermacht 5y ago
I get it.
However, if you need to focus on things women find attractive, then you fucked up already.
You are in a womans frame without even knowing it.
Thanks for the tipps, /u/BumblingBeta.
Pretty helpful indeed!
Charmingaxelotl 5y ago
Yes but focusing on career and hobbies helps you get laid.
BitsAndBobs304 5y ago
oh yes, showing my chess tournament cups around is a real panty dropper! don't even get me started on being a black belt in a martial art and a champion of mtg drafting, you can't even exit the building without being chased by swarms of women!
as for career, if you waste your life working to earn more and manage to earn a lot, to the point where your disposable cash is spent on status symbols, it'll get you startfish sex with golddiggers after you spend money on them (or promise them to spend and then never do, and then get accused of rape in retaliation) , when you could get professional sex from a sex professional for much cheaper and with 100% reliability and no effort and no time wasted and no manipulation
Charmingaxelotl 5y ago
It’s that not that complicated man haha
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