TRP.RED: Home | Blogs - Forums.RED: ALL | TheRedPill | RedPillWomen | AskTRP | thankTRP | OffTopic
Hot New TopControversial
Login or Register
285
- Hide Preview | 62 Comments | submitted about a month ago by Aghayden [Post Locked]

Teasing is one of the most misunderstood concepts in men’s dating advice. Some men avoid teasing women because they don’t want to be ‘mean’. Others avoid teasing because it’s ‘not natural’.

Despite what most people think, teasing is one of the most fundamental skills for attracting women. Teasing can make the difference between a platonic interaction that ends in, “it was nice meeting you,” and a sexually charged interaction that ends in a bedroom.

In this article, you’re going to learn exactly why mastering the art of teasing women will take your game to the next level. Then, you’re going to learn a step-by-step system for teasing the women you meet (in a way that instantly sparks attraction).

 

Why Teasing Works

 

We communicate with women on two levels: logical and emotional. Once, I approached a beautiful woman and said, “You’re absolutely hideous.” Logically, you’d think I was being an asshole - and that she should slap me.

But that’s not what happened. After I told this stunning girl she was hideous, she burst out in laughter and said,

Who are you? I like you.

And, five minutes later, she asked for my number.

Logically, I was being a dick. But emotionally, I was showing this girl that I don’t give a fuck. A beautiful woman gets hit on by thirsty guys every day. But she rarely meets a guy who’s willing to challenge her, who’s willing to reject her. And when you tease a girl, the underlying emotional communication is that you don’t care if she leaves or stays.

Most men try to attract women logically. These guys shower women with positive attention, (I.E. “You’re so beautiful.”)

She already knows she beautiful. She already knows most guys she meets want to fuck her. There’s nothing exciting about meeting yet another guy who’s willing to bend over backwards to get with her.

Teasing shows that you don’t care whether this girl likes you. As soon as a woman doubts whether or not you’re attracted to her, she has an incentive to start chasing you (of course, you need to have made a positive impression for this to work: https://redpilltheory.com/2018/03/31/how-to-be-an-attractive-man/ )

 

Is Teasing Mean?

 

Teasing a girl is inherently risky. If you tease a girl in the wrong way, you may offend her.

However, the real reason most men have trouble with women is that they don’t take enough risks. If you don’t risk offending a girl, then you also don’t risk turning her on.

Risk taking is attractive because it shows a high degree of confidence. If everything you say is agreeable, women will feel that you must be a people pleaser who doesn’t say what he really thinks.

If you tease a girl well, you will rarely offend her. Instead, your teases will make her laugh – hard. She’ll be grateful that you’re not yet another nice guy who puts her on a pedestal.

Teasing isn’t mean, it’s challenging (and women love a challenge.)

 

Is Teasing Unnatural?

 

Many guys don’t want to use pickup techniques like teasing or disqualification because it’s not ‘natural to their personality’.

There’s a serious problem with this line of thinking.

First, the desire to ‘just be yourself,’ is an excuse to stay in your comfort zone.

The first time you try teasing a girl, it is going to be uncomfortable, and possibly even awkward. But that’s not because teasing is inauthentic to you, it’s because you’re inexperienced with it.

Think of the protagonist in your favorite movie. Does Marlon Brando seem inauthentic when he’s portraying Vito Corleone? Does Brad Pitt seem inauthentic portraying Tyler Durden in Fight Club? Of course not.

Actors learn how to completely transform their personality, and they do so without sacrificing authenticity. Expanding your personality to become comfortable with teasing takes practice, but saying it’s ‘just not you’ is nothing more than an excuse.

Anything you do that expands your personality is going to make you feel uncomfortable at first. For example, if you’ve never approached a woman before, you’re going to experience intense anxiety on your first attempt .

Does that mean approaching women is ‘unnatural’ to your personality? Of course not, approaching women is just out of your comfort zone.

If you don’t try things that are uncomfortable, you’re not going to grow – that’s the inescapable nature of change. On your first few attempts, teasing a girl might make her less attracted to you. But if you push through the initial awkwardness, you’ll be able to use teasing to effortlessly spark attraction in women.

 

How to Tease A Girl

 

We’ve established how teasing works, but how do you actually do it? In this section, I’m going to teach you a simple, yet effective way to tease a girl.

The initial moments of conversation with a girl can feel like an interview. You can inject some teasing here to add emotional charge to this phase of an interaction.

Whenever a girl answers a basic question, tease by saying, “You would be…”

For example:

You: Where are you from?

Her: Texas.

You: You would be from Texas…

If you do this in a playfully challenging tone, she’ll either laugh or she’ll ask, “What do you mean by that?” (To which you can respond, “It’s not important, anyway…”)

If your delivery is off, she may become a bit confrontational and say something like, “What’s wrong with Texas?”.

If this happens, it’s okay. Just respond with something to the effect of, “Oh, I didn’t mean that as an insult. I think Texas is cool. What part are you from?”

You can use this template for pretty much anything she says. If she says she’s a nurse, “You would be a nurse.” If she says she likes to hike, “You would like hiking.”

A tease doesn’t have to make perfect logical sense to have an emotional impact. The power in the statement is that it sounds challenging without being insulting. Deliver it well, and this one line can spark attraction in what would otherwise have been a platonic interaction.

There’s a million other ways to tease a girl.

You could tell a beautiful girl, “Maybe you hear this a lot, but you could be a model.”

She’ll say, “Thanks!”

Then you can reply, “Yeah, you have such great hands, you should definitely consider becoming a hand model.”

If a girl says she’s from Ohio, you could respond by saying, “That’s cool. You’re the most interesting person I’ve met from Ohio all night.”

You don’t need to memorize a long list of lines. It’s better to practice teasing with a template like, “You would be…” because once you get comfortable with that line, you’ll develop an intuitive understanding for teasing. Then, you’ll be able to come up with your own teases automatically while you’re interacting with women.

 

Conclusion: How to Tease A Girl And Spark Sexual Attraction

 

Teasing gives an interaction tension. That tension is what excites a girl to start pursuing you.

To be fair, there are other ways to create tension in an interaction:

  • You can hold strong eye contact.
  • You can disagree with something she says.
  • You can use disqualifiers.

Use all the above tools to create tension in your interactions. If you currently don’t use any of the above techniques, start by learning to hold strong eye contact (because it’s the single most powerful technique for building attraction).

Once you get comfortable holding strong eye contact, experiment with teasing. Once teasing become automatic, practice using disqualifiers.

Teasing may feel unnatural. It may seem mean. But if you put a genuine effort into learning how to tease a girl, you’ll find that teasing is a fun way to create sexual tension.

 

You can follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, pulls, etc. Guys often message me saying that seeing my snaps motivated them to take action. Username: AveryGHayden

[-] Aesthetik_1 112 Points about a month ago

Am I the only one who thinks teasing is more natural than platonic, nice interaction? After all that what we do automatically when we are little and being nice is just what somebody else tells you to be like

[-] Aghayden 30 Points about a month ago

That's a great point. We learn to stop teasing through social conditioning (gotta stay in line at school/work. Then, we forget that teasing is natural and we actually resist learning it by making the excuse (that's not a natural part of my personality, I don't want to be fake).

[-] Aesthetik_1 17 Points about a month ago

In fact the only bad dates I had that went nowhere where the ones in the beginning where I tried behaving like an „adult“ and didn’t tease.

[-] Aghayden 14 Points about a month ago

I've had the same thing happen.

It's because I thought, "I really like this girl, I should treat her with more respect and be gentlemanly." And then, as a result, I stopped doing anything remotely charming or sexual. LOL

[-] WetLikeMyJumperTho 2 Points about a month ago

This sums up my most recent experience, in turn she told me afterward via text that the energy felt awkward and she wasn’t attracted to me like she first thought she was

[-] dongpal 9 Points about a month ago

Yeah, I mean you are like that with your best friends too. These are the persons I insult the most, and we like it.

[-] CannabisCumshot69 1 Point about a month ago

Exactly, your friends know when you "mean it" and when you don't. Subtext is key, way more important than the actual words.

[-] Kpwn88 4 Points about a month ago

The Book of Pook covers this extensively.

[-] JJ3314 3 Points about a month ago

Male friends tease each other, people tease their siblings and children. I think blue pill men have been propagandized into believing that teasing is inherently malevolent when it isn’t. You have to take it on a case by case basis.

[-] German8835 1 Point about a month ago

I noticed that I just unlearned it over time. Even in primary school, why do you think boys pull on girls hair?

[-] nebder 61 Points about a month ago

Teasing/negging appropriately should be one of the core foundations of your game toolbox. It forces the gal to qualify herself and chase you.

Here’s a practical example. I eat lunch quite often at the same place. One of the waitstaff is a sexy gal, obviously knows she’s sexy and works it to her benefit. She will wear strange hats and odd makeup at times. I teased her about not getting the memo for stupid hats or some shit, just a random passing comment I made to amuse myself. Over a year later after I said that I ran into said young lady at a bar. Chatted her up and she told me how she literally went to everyone else that worked there to make sure she her hat wasnt actually silly. A year later she remembers a tease/neg on a minor thing enough to go on & on about it. That’s the power of a solid tease or appropriate neg.

[-] hivro2 14 Points about a month ago

like he said in the post, and i've seen it too with an old FWB i had,

​

girls are literally told DAILY by everyone that they're beautiful, even if theyre not some loser will say it in hopes to having her warm up to him... unless you're sculpted from granite yourself and SHE approaches you there is a very small chance telling her the same thing 999/1000 other guys say will make you stand out.

​

its boring as hell to have people just aimlessly and thoughtlessly agree with you, people like that.. male or female.. are disposable.

[-] fdsafdasfdsafds 1 Point about a month ago

Yep.

I remember going to a bar around closing time and catching this couple on a date. He was agreeing with everything she said and, foolishly, introduced me into the conversation where I abruptly disagreed with her (something about feminism). She slipped her number under my arm as we were leaving the bar and later became a fun plate. I also remember saying to her on a date much later that "feminism is poison".. she was pretty hardcore feminist but still went home with me.

How much you can offend her is also dependent on how invested she is in you. After she's hooked you can get away with a lot of shit.

[-] Thunderbird93 -1 Point about a month ago

Bruh if you didn't get your dick wet whats the point? Just joking,but did you smash?

[-] nebder 5 Points about a month ago

Got my junk grabbed when we were making out. Logistics sucked so no pull that night. Stepped on my dick on the follow up. Ultimately did not smash. Life goes on

[-] Thunderbird93 3 Points about a month ago

I hear you bro,not a problem tho. Billions of chicks to choose from

[-] Zech4riah 44 Points about a month ago

Once, I approached a beautiful woman and said, “You’re absolutely hideous.” Logically, you’d think I was being an asshole - and that she should slap me.

But that’s not what happened. After I told this stunning girl she was hideous, she burst out in laughter and said, Who are you? I like you.

Yup, I hate when people give this kind of PUA fantasy as an examples. These may work once per 500 approaches but they make really bad examples for newbies.

[-] NeedingAdvice86 13 Points about a month ago

Always with the impression that these hot HB10 girls have never been out of the house before, have never been hit on and have no game themselves....

It is laughable but a YouTube video of the epic blowouts and facial expressions from hot girls approached in such a no game way would be funny as shit.

I am sure she said....."I like you what is your name" and not a roll of the eyes with "oh god, not another one".

[-] Aghayden 8 Points about a month ago

Lol, it only seems like a fantasy if you don't actually go out and approach regularly.

I'm not suggesting anyone uses that line, I'm just pointing out that even off the wall, offensive lines can work if they're coming from the right place.

[-] catalina-out 37 Points about a month ago

The problem here is that in order to tease well, you need to tease them on something they're not overly insecure about.

If you go up to an HB5 and call them hideous, they're obviously not going to receive it well, regardless of your SMV. Sure, maybe the line CAN work if used on an HB8/9, and your SMV is decently high. But, your story is completely anecdotal, obviously. Most women are going to dismiss you as being some douche who just finished reading How to pick up CHICKS 101; rule 1 - insult her.

I've had a VERY mixed number reactions on teasing girls about their Arts degrees. Different girls are going to be different levels of insecure on certain things. Acting like a fucking spaz, and just straight up insulting a girl out of nowhere is no way to tease a girl.


Scenario

Me: "What are you studying?"

Girl: "Classical Literature!"


Now, I could act like a spaz and say some shit like

"Arts major? Yikes. Good luck getting a job."

or

"Classical literature? That's awesome! How well do the skills transfer to making cappucinos?"

Obviously the second one is less spazzy, but you still don't know how she'll react to it. You need to gauge her insecurity towards what you're going to tease her about.


Scenario - Too Insecure

Me: "What are you studying?"

Girl: "Classical Literature!"

Me: "An ARTS student, eh?"

Girl: "Umm.. YEAH, why?" (Defensive tone)

Back off and humour

Me: "Oh, I've just dated an arts student before. He wasn't the most generous lover..."

Me: "However, I'm quite sure my mind can be changed."


Scenario - Tease Her

Me: "What are you studying?"

Girl: "Classical Literature!"

Me: "An ARTS student, eh?"

Girl: "Yeah, I know.. But I really love what I'm studying"

Me: "No, that's actually really awesome! Do you know how well the skills transfer towards making cappucinos?"


Putting the success of the interaction on the risk of a left-field insult is just stupid, and a waste of time. It "paying off" doesn't prove anything. All it proves is that you were lucky enough to use it on someone who didn't take offense to what you said, and found you attractive enough to keep talking.

Be smart in your conversations.

[-] Far_Working 2 Points about a month ago

Exactly. Too often where the PUA (and their followers on this subreddit who think they can just snag a couple lines to pick up chicks with) go wrong is they rely to much on formulas. They want exactly one line to get all the girls, one method to make the hotties fall for them.

Wake up. That won't happen. Conversation is an ebb and a flow. It's all about gauging the other comfort and pushing when you need to spark things. If you force matters, you're just going to break it.

These virgins need to learn to hold a conversation while cultivating desire. That's what will spark things. Not simple formulaic methods. In-field practice works so well because it makes you better at these conversational conventions.

[-] fdsafdasfdsafds 1 Point about a month ago

Any advice for this kind of approach in a foreign country, say Thailand? I've been here for the last 12 months and have been occupied with a gf. I'm considering doing some approaches/social game to loosen up, but I've found conversational flexibility generally goes out of the window when there is a serious language barrier involved. Strong keno and leading still gets me through.

[-] Far_Working 2 Points about a month ago

Man, you've asked the wrong guy. Foreign language barriers are a weak spot of mine I can get laid anyday of the week in my country. I have no problem opening up girls and my conversational skill is on point.

But when it comes to speaking in a foreign language, I get intense social anxiety. It's not cool at all. It's something im working on by taking language classes focusing on interpersonal communication.

So I can't help you when it comes to foreign affairs, but let me know if you find anything. Id like to know too

[-] Zech4riah 3 Points about a month ago

offensive lines can work if they're coming from the right place.

Like I said, they make really bad exmpales for newbies.

EDIT: I should have used term "flash game" instead of "PUA fantasy" to weed off nitpicking.

[-] Miguel7849 19 Points about a month ago

Your examples are so fucking lame... "Nicest person from Ohio I met all night" You think that's original/charming? Seriously?

Or the hands think ...? How old are you? Dad jokes are not a think you know.

[-] Aghayden 39 Points about a month ago

The tease doesn't have to be clever to work, it just has to be coming from the right place.

It's actually better that it doesn't have to be original, because if it did, then teasing would be a chore . It's about the vibe, not the content.

Here's an example of me teasing a girl and every time I do she busts out in laughter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzMx5TBiY6E

I wasn't saying clever or original, I was just being playfully provocative - teasing isn't so much about wittiness as it is about implying that the girl might not be good enough for you in some way.

[-] itiswr1tten 19 Points about a month ago

Little homie gets ghosted by single moms and is lecturing you on game. Don't bother

[-] catalina-out 9 Points about a month ago

"GTL, that's what I do every day. Minus the gym and the tan... I do a lot of laundry though."

Honestly brilliant. Made me laugh.

Quality video, man. Thanks for uploading!

[-] Aghayden 3 Points about a month ago

Lol thanks, I come up with stuff like that because I spend a couple minutes doing free-association exercises in my free time.

[-] 11-Eleven-11 3 Points about a month ago

Whats free-association? That sounds interesting.

[-] kez88 2 Points about a month ago

I watched the video, and you did a good job so keep on practicing. However, i'd probably work on your posture/body language a bit more. Your shoulders and back are very slumped, and when you're walking you don't really walk with a purpose or like you're in control. But keep up the good work dude

[-] Aghayden 1 Point about a month ago

Thanks for the feedback. I agree posture is not my biggest strength.

[-] AbusiveFather1 -1 Point about a month ago

Life is always about the content imo Everything you ever remembered was about content, that's what made it worth remembering in the first place. Is anything else worth it? I hope this makes sense

[-] Aghayden 7 Points about a month ago

Actually, that's not entirely true. Memories are very much tied into emotions, the stronger the emotion the more easily we can remember something.

If you think about the best date you ever want on, can you really remember what was said, or do you remember the experience of what happened?

[-] RandomlyChosenTitle 4 Points about a month ago

This is especially so for women. Regarding the date, a man will tell you what he did while a woman will tell you how she felt. Tying into the teasing point, it really doesn't matter what you actually say as long as you're outcome independent and your verbal and nonverbal cues are congruent.

[-] NeedingAdvice86 8 Points about a month ago

This is the no game approach for guys with less than zero game.....

Of course, it isn't going to work on attractive girls with experience having guys hit on them but might work on high school girls or girls who don't get much male attention...

[-] AutoModerator 5 Points about a month ago

Just a friendly reminder that as TRP has been quarantined, we have developed backup sites: https://www.trp.red and our full post archive (and future forums) https://www.forums.red/i/TheRedPill. Don't forget to register on TRP.RED and reserve your reddit name today. Forums.Red is currently locked but will be opened soon.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[-] TheDiano 5 Points about a month ago

Before I discovered TRP I would always use the "you would be..." lines as part of my natural game and they'd always work but I didn't know why. Posts like these connect the dots

[-] tylrmcnl 5 Points about a month ago

Tldr how to give a girl attention

[-] 12qwww 4 Points about a month ago

Is it me or the post is duplicated?

[-] v0v4n 2 Points about a month ago

I've exactly the same feeling here. Perhaps the original post was deleted.

[-] Cmdrj-nice 3 Points about a month ago

The best thing about teasing is that it is really fun to do

[-] alexjhargreaves 3 Points about a month ago

Sidebar material. Oh how far we've come since The Game

[-] RPSilverfox 2 Points about a month ago

Girls do the same thing to us and it’s normally a sign they like us. Sometimes teasing and shit tests can be hard to separate (especially when they are insults) but the key is to learn to tease back and not get defensive. In fact you should welcome it when a girl starts it as you can learn through responding what works and what doesn’t.

[-] wiffofass 2 Points about a month ago

Teasing is like bitch testing the girl. It works both ways

[-] PoppinChlorine 2 Points about a month ago

I feel like I’ve seen this post 4 or 5 times.

[-] [deleted] about a month ago
[-] Gimpness 1 Point about a month ago

The “ you look like you could be a model” part killed me

[-] Thunderbird93 1 Point about a month ago

To me teasing is key because women communicate covertly whereas men communicate overtly. Being covert allows one to enter the frame of the woman, where sexual attraction is present but not exposed. Its good for plausible deniability too

[-] thetotalpackage7 1 Point about a month ago

As a 40 plus year old male...I have learned that teasing was effective 20 years ago when women weren't so fucking angry. I had a girl with her arm around me last week who had just graduated college. I jokingly asked if she graduated from, "Gordon Phillips beauty school" and she freaked the fuck out. Another recent grad who was at the bar, I had a playful banter with and teased her saying she looked like "My Neighbors Hot Nanny" she also got majorly butt hurt. Tread lightly. YMMV.

[-] ex_addict_bro 1 Point about a month ago

Many guys don’t want to use pickup techniques like teasing or disqualification because it’s not ‘natural to their personality’.

BOOM another hidden red pill for ya wankers out there

NO SUCH THING as "my personality".

No such thing.

Difference between a dog and a wolf? 3 meals.

Wankers feel lonely without mommy replacements, but they would feel even worse without "THEIR" "personality".

[-] ajdx88 1 Point about a month ago

Without teasing and negging all you got is the platonic 30 minute conversation leading to nowhere. It is damn near required to do this.

[-] zyqkvx 1 Point about a month ago

It's good to understand the subtext you are sending out when you tease. Example. My LTR informs me that she's going out of town to visit her mother. I say, "Give her (mom) a good slap on the ass for me." Subtext: I'll still find you [ltr] attractive when you are old, and I'll still be playful with you too. Her mom is 65.

[-] [deleted] about a month ago
[-] Jumbokcin 1 Point about a month ago

This works really well, but only if you have high SMV yourself and you’re hitting on an hb8+ who isn’t self conscious

[-] DownyGall 0 Points about a month ago

How do you tease well though? Sometimes I feel like I come off like a dick even when I do it with my male friends. Or are some of my male friends babies?

[-] Cmdrj-nice 0 Points about a month ago

Why are you teasing your male friends. Also you gotta be in a playful mood for it to work

[-] [deleted] about a month ago
[-] Dargalo04 0 Points about a month ago

Too much effort and remember not to play the game

[-] pnzndltn -1 Point about a month ago

Great post. I'm still learning the ins and outs of teasing but I agree with pretty much everything you said.

I went on a Tinder date recently who was a tougher customer than normal. More stern and a bitchier vibe than I'm used to. I have a hard time teasing these girls above a certain level because that's when it starts to feel unnatural. But I didn't force it. I waited until we talked about a really popular movie. When she said she hadn't seen it, I jumped all over it saying in amazement, "what! That's insane. Are you serious? (She smiles and says yes) exaggerated disbelief, throwing my arms in the air "that's it, this date is over" fake getting up to leave she loses it, getting red and covering her mouth while laughing.

It was after this point I felt the power shift towards my side and I closed her half an hour later. Teasing works.

[-] Imperator_Red -1 Point about a month ago

Many guys don’t want to use pickup techniques like teasing or disqualification because it’s not ‘natural to their personality’.

I was reading the MGTOW forum the other day. A lot of the guys are there because they got divorce raped, false accusations, cheated on, etc. A huge chunk of the guys are there though because they are absolutely OBSESSED with the idea that they shouldn't have to change their personalities at all to get a woman.

Like, I get it, but don't you have sexual urges? You're just going to retire your cock rather than lift weights and learn how to not be a beta bitch? It's fucking pathetic, to be honest. I used to respect MGTOW and consider our differences just a friendly disagreement, but I lost a lot of respect after reading some of their attitudes.

[-] nebder 3 Points about a month ago

Huge difference between a player who hung up his spurs vs the sour grapes guy. MGTOW is corrupted