You create what you think about
What we keep telling ourselves in our self talk, what we want, what we feel, and what we are, in the form of mental images, create what we experience in life. One of the keys to success is to accept as a habit the fact that you can control your thoughts. You can control and eliminate negative emotions, negative thoughts, and create thoughts that bring you what you do want in your life.
Stop making excuses!
Don’t look for excuses. Don’t blame the situation on women, not being rich, tall, etc. Only when you stop making excuses can you have rock solid inner game.
Before Getting Started... For 3 days, make an inventory of all the thoughts that pop up when seeing a girl you're attracted to. Literally mark down on a sheet of paper or in a notebook, a mark for each negative self talk. These can be things you said out loud or to yourself. Do that for at least three days. Total it up, and get your percentages of positive-positive self talk, positive-negative self talk, and negative self talk.
Types of Self Talk
There are 4 levels of self talk:
Eliminating Negative thoughts
Stomp the ANTS. "ANTS" stand for Automatic-Negative-Thoughts. As you’ll see from your inventory most people have about 80 percent negative thoughts and 20 percent positive ones. What we need to do is disrupt these negative thoughts and turn them into positive thoughts. Come up with a way to physically disrupt the negative thoughts, like snapping a rubber band on wrist, pinching self, snapping fingers, etc... Then come up with a default “replacement thought”. Like “Attractive women wanna sleep with me.”
Adopting an Attitude of Unrelenting Positiveness
The baseline of inner game is an overall attitude of optimism and positiveness. There have been literally hundreds of studies on the benefit of a positive attitude. These include longer lifespan, less health problems, higher incomes, etc... Most importantly a positive attitude is MARKEDLY more attractive to women than a negative one. Positiveness is the mental equivalent of having big muscles.
Putting the RELENTLESS in Positiveness
“Nothing is a big deal. Nothing is a problem. Everything ALWAYS works out for me in the end.” This one piece of advice will take you further with women than almost any other piece of advice out there. You must remain positive in the face of any problem or situation that happens with a woman. Your positiveness must be relentless.
3 Magic Questions for staying positive
1. Whats good about this situation/person, etc? 2. What can I learn from this? 3. What is the BEST use of my time here?
Talking Back to your inner voice
Sometimes you will have a negative voice or physical impulse when it comes to approaching women that seems more powerful than you can overcome. The key to dealing with these thoughts is to argue with them, instead of accepting them as true. Remember YOU create your own unconscious thoughts! They are not inherently true and they do not create you!!! Practice talking back when you feel a negative thought or your body telling you, you CAN’T do something.
Putting it all together
Use this knowledge wisely and you will be rewarded for it. From experience, I have been a pretty negative person in past. I used to struggle with depression, but low and behold lifting and eating healthy helped. And I learned firsthand how being positive can work in your favor. Even when nothing seems to be going your way. Wallowing in self pity is no good. And jealousy over other people...other men...women...how does that help you? If anything, it should motivate you. So that guy gets laid a lot and you don't? That person makes a lot of money and you don't? Ok, then do something about it. A positive mindset is needed to really make change, otherwise, giving up and throwing in the towel is on the table.
You must not give up. You must be positive and keep fighting the good fight. You are responsible for your own happiness.
If you liked this post, I did do a part I of this series about goal setting, found in my submission history. Stay tuned for the third part within the coming week. I will go over Beliefs, which ties into Relentless Positiveness.
Alright, I'm out!