To some degree every women is getting over an ex until their hypergamous nature finds someone new, they seldom end a relationship and wallow in the abyss. They're usually going from being attracted to one man to being attracted to another man, a women's attraction is monogomous(see u/Whisper's latest).

More often than not they're branch swinging to a man she perceives to be more attractive than the last, but not exclusively. It depends what phase of her life she is in. If she has time and options she's probably hopping from one cock to the next best thing available. If wall impact is looming she's not looking for the most alfalfa man but rather the most provider worthy.

Her ex or her perception of him is a great indicator of where you stand. If you understand how hypergamy works, he was probably the highest value man in her life up until that point (talking about pre-wall women here, leave those post wall slags with their cats). She uses him as her frame of reference when interacting with you. She'll rank you somewhere amongst her previous lovers, an internal hierarchy of sorts.

Where you fall on this ladder will greatly influence your relationship with a woman. Find yourself at the top and she'll be a sweet little muffin, she's branch swung to an alpha. Find yourself further down and she's looking for a provider, you're obtaining second hand goods and are her beta bux.

For this reason, the initial interactions with a woman are the most important. It's when she is trying to figure out where you fit in. She'll be shit testing and evaluating you. If your're found to be lacking she'll take the liberty of moving on fairly quickly herself, if you're rapidly ascending her hierarchy she'll be treating you more and more like a king. She'll be dissecting you until she knows. To even be considering you, you've at least got to be showing signs that you could compete.

It's important to note that your place in this hierarchy is always subject to change, how you behave will determine where she'll rank you. If you start being a supplicating beta you'll drop down the hierarchy. If you start showing her a powerful alpha you'll rise up the hierarchy.

Time is a factor too, in a monogamous relationship, other men appear to be more alpha. The more she knows about you, the more loyal you are, the harder it is to compete with others. This is because you are competing with fantasies about other men that she whips up in her head. When you exist in reality, it's hard to compete with fantasy. If you're polygamous on your side there's a far better chance of your rule of the roost surviving. The competition anxiety drives her to continue to work for your affections. A fresh pre-wall woman will rather share an Alpha than settle for a beta.

Prying and digging into her past to find out where you stand on her internal hierarchy is a fools errand, you'll only be presenting yourself as insecure, which ironically will do damage to the very thing you're trying to figure out. It is however essential that you know where you stand, you want to be getting the best of your partner, not her sloppy ravaged seconds. You simply need to pay attention to the cues, the manner in which she talks about ex's, how often she mentions them and most importantly how she treats you.

The manner in which she talks about her ex's will reveal information in a typical femme paradox way. If you've been paying attention to anything around here you'll be aware that there's a cognitive dissonance between what a woman says and what's truth. If she speaks fondly of them, commending their nice guy efforts, it's safe to say he was a soyboy, she probably left him because he couldn't satisfy her. If she calls him an abusive asshole, she was probably Alpha Widowed by Chad and you've got damaged goods.

The degree to which she mentions her ex tells you a lot too. Women tend not to have much of a logical filter, but rather an emotional blurt that best fits her current state of mind. When she mentions her ex it's because he entered her mind, how often this happens is quite informative. If she hardly mentions him at all it's it's because he hardly made an impression on her and you're shooting her lights out. If she's mentioning him here and there it's completely normal, it's a shit test. There's usually a transition period where she'll mention him more in the beginning and it'll slowly dissipate. As she get's to know you more and sees what a stallion you are she should forget about him.

If she's incessantly dropping his name in conversations and it's not really slowing down, she's still got his name branded on her ass. Get the fuck out of there. She was most likely Alpha Widowed and now you have to manage a thousand cock stare. It also means he probably sits higher on her internal hierarchy than you which never bodes well for your relationship. There are ways to turn it around, but I'm not a fan of them, your efforts are better spent elsewhere instead of trying to compete for the affections of a single, wretched pussy.

Lastly is how she treats you. If she's sexual, submissive, obedient, sweet and working for your affections, it's safe to say she holds you in very high regard. Wallow in your glory as her finest catch. If she's controlling, demanding, avoids sex, moody, not acting like a happy child, it's pretty safe to say you're her beta. She's interested in the resources you offer, but just not very interested in you. Get comfortable playing yes mam or get the fuck out of there.

Ultimately, your place in the hierarchy is not something you should worry about, but rather be aware of. You have no control over the value of her previous partners, you merely want to be aware that your'e coming in at the top to ensure you get the best of her. You don't need to be the most alfalfa man on planet earth, just the most alfalfa she's ever had and she'll be treating you like the king you are.

TL/DR: There is an external dominance hierarchy which we talk about quite often. However to a woman, her ex's are her internal hierarchy, tailored to her individual experience. Being at the top of her hierarchy is important, it dictates the dynamic of your relationship. The simple solution would be get a virgin, but unless you're 15 they're probably not too abundant, most will probably have to evaluate where they stand in her hierarchy and take action accordingly.