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- Hide Preview | 37 Comments | submitted 8 months ago by awalt_cupcake [Post Locked]

This will be a short post. Not all posts needs to be chock full of theories, analogies, or EC plugs buy my preworkout at www dot


Root of the Cause: Driven By Ego

When I just started out with daygame like we all do, we learn about turn away from our nice guy behavior and become something more productive towards our relationship goals: a man. But what our ego wants is to become the Asshole^(TM.) For he is the man woman love to hate. I set out to become that to a degree. I made efforts to chew people out when I felt it, cut people down when they deserved it, and generally treat women like gum on my shoe. And it worked sort of.

But I pushed people away (surprise) and justified my arrogance as being a redpilled man in a world of bloopies. I had lays to show for it so I couldn't be wrong.


Asshole Chads

Four years or so later I am now in the gym. Getting a taste of the big leagues. I'm stronger than my peers but smaller than most guys in here. They are chads. And they are ... really fucking cool dudes. They can be surprisingly bluepill a lot but overall they're fun to be around especially when you want to learn something new or hit a subject they like to talk about. But guess what? They're assholes.

They tease me a lot when I'm giving my max weight my everything. When I want to talk to them they dismiss me. When they come talk to me I give them my time and it got under my skin that they behaved this way to me in return. Don't they see this?

No. You know why? Because being an asshole is not something you do on purpose. They're not here to network. They have other things to do. They coach teams, they work 2 jobs, they own another gym, etc. They're not thinking about it. Once I started flipping it back on them and being fun the way that they understand, they eventually came around (to a small degree). These guys are great and they're eager to share what they've learned. I've even reached out to one for an emergency I had.


Assholes Women Love vs Being a Dick

These same principles applies to girls. You're not an asshole on purpose. I've never been called an asshole for something I did on purpose. Women have called me an asshole because I was seeing other girls or I wouldn't give them more time beyond sex. They called me an asshole when they weren't getting what they wanted from me. Key word: want.

That's why women talk bad about assholes because they wanted something from them. They maybe loved them but nothing equivalent was ever returned and I guarantee you the guy 99% of the time didn't mean to be one. He set his rules, stuck to his principles, and dindn't feel the need to explain why. That doesn't make him a monster despite what mainstream media wants us to believe.

When you try to force being dominate, or go out of your way like I did, you're being a Dick. A dick is an asshole who goes out of his way to be one. He makes the first move. He pushes people away. No one likes a dick.



Plenty people love an asshole because being an asshole is a by-product of sticking to your guns. If you have to force it, you're not there.

[-] itiswr1tten 86 Points 8 months ago

A big portion of the readership here, new and not new alike, has a revenge fantasy. They want to get back at the girl who laughed at them when they asked her out, they want payback on their cheating girlfriend, and they seethe with anger at their ex wife who took their money.

The motivation for many initially is that anger, and that can be positive. Being pissed off got a lot of readers in shape. However, that anger can also manifest itself as cold treatment of strange women. A plate whose face YOU laughed in when she begged you to commit. An LTR you snuck out on because sexual strategy was amoral. Much of this "asshole" behavior is completely anchored by women as your mental point of origin.

There is nothing wrong with being selfish. RP advocates it, actually. But as OP states, when the asshole behavior is not a front but instead anchored by yourself as the mental point of origin, it changes the nature of the actions themselves.

The guys out there really killing it are behaviorally congruent with their belief that they are the prize. Not the dudes lashing out from past pain.

[-] Da_RectumWrecker 29 Points 8 months ago

But the past pain is what makes you better. I'm still wrestling with something that happened 3 years ago (fiance left while I lost a parent and the other was on the deathbed). There has been well over 100 girls in my bed since then but I do know that pain is still my motivation. Maybe that's why I've been so fixated on having so much sex. I dont think I'm running from what happened but I dont ever see a day when that wont hurt anymore.

I could either let that pain consume me or I could use it to improve myself to make everything else in my life more comfortable. Most of us dont have the luxury of not being in pain. If you're reading this though and think "this guy had it bad, my pain doesn't compare to his so I dont deserve to feel bad" you're completely wrong. That shit is all relative to what you've experienced prior. Your pain that I might call a minor inconvenience feels just as real as my profound loss. No need for a dick measuring contest on who has had it worst. Things are hard all the way around for most.

[-] itiswr1tten 9 Points 8 months ago

OK - but that is my point. You're not trying to get revenge or prove a point to an ex. You're doing it for yourself.

[-] Kenny_Twenty 3 Points 8 months ago

something that happened 3 years ago

I dont ever see a day when that wont hurt anymore

I'm honestly surprised that this...

There has been well over 100 girls in my bed since then

...has not helped you more or less forget about her. Maybe I'm naive in thinking that it would be that significant. Is it more of kinda just a sore thought by now or is it something that you consider to be more traumatic?

[-] Da_RectumWrecker 6 Points 8 months ago

It's a sore thought. And it's why I wont get close to anyone afterwards. When i needed someone the most is when the person closest to me left me all alone. I made it through that by myself. I dont want to be in a position to feel that vulnerable again, so I am who I am now. I dont hate it. My life is very enjoyable actually. I just know myself.

[-] kril89 6 Points 8 months ago

I think maybe that he sees that no women is really that special or different. And that this one woman did this to him in a true moment of need. And if she did this then other women will walk out far more easily and it's a tough pill to swallow but it's one you have to swallow every day forever.

[-] [deleted] 8 months ago
[-] Ananonguy88 65 Points 8 months ago

You have rephrased 100% what I think. This mythical asshole they always love/hate is basically a guy who does not do what they tell him to do. A guy who holds his frame.

It's not the same as being rude, selfish dick and god forbid, trying to pose as one on purpose.

[-] Invisible_Hand49 12 Points 8 months ago

Indeed, in retrospect when I think about the time I was trp unaware but trying to game a now ex girlfriend, I was mostly the opposite of what the ideal man according to her was. I smoked, used to indulge myself in alcohol, had a past of dating a lot of women, yet she wanted that dick. Just goes to show women don't know what they want.

[-] albino_red_head 1 Point 8 months ago

Yes. Some of the best attraction I've built is when calling a girl out for being rude (trying to push me or other dudes around, "give me this, get me that") or treating a girl like a slut if she's acting like one with a married buddy (spank her ass etc). In both scenarios they flare up and will call you an asshole, dick, "you should show respect for a lady" etc. It's great time to hold frame and give back a "give me something to respect" line or just stand your ground. They'll say those things but watch her flip right back around and apologize (because she knows she was acting a fool, you called her out on it). I've had girls buys me drinks etc. It's all part of the shit test.

[-] ArdAtak 42 Points 8 months ago

It's true. I've had many female friends speak ill of their exes but when I meet the guy he seems pretty normal. And then I figure out she only resents him because he did not comply with her dreams and demands.

[-] empatheticapathetic 16 Points 8 months ago

Slightly different concept.

[-] BitsAndBobs304 -9 Point 8 months ago

Which is nothing like the asshole chads he described, who are actually dicks, but they are hot so he's decided that they are cool and not dicks. I guess homoerotic tension dick pass.

[-] mingamo 13 Points 8 months ago

You seem experienced there, bro

[-] Casanova-Quinn 32 Points 8 months ago

I've said this before and I'll say it again.

Nice guys tend to label any guy who isn't "nice" as a jerk. The truth is most "jerks" are just normal guys who don't act like pussy whipped betas around women. They're not afraid to tease, disagree, or be direct with women. They're masculine men, that's it. It doesn't mean they act rudely in general to everyone in their life.

[-] politeAndLevelHed 3 Points 8 months ago

Except that a lot of "not nice" guys play the jerk TO OTHER GUYS. They break whole swathes of the bro code. They don't have respect for other people because they are focused on the female and their entirely selfish goal of score no matter what the collateral damage.

You pull that kind of person back into line and they'll argue "hey stop spoiling my fun! I'm just having fun!" while they are simultaneously leaving a wake like a tornado.

[-] TheDevilsAdvokaat 15 Points 8 months ago

"if you have to force it,. you're not there".

Right on. And it won't work.

Women are also quite capable of telling false confidence from confidence. Confidence comes from a realistic appraisal of yourself and knowing what works and what doesn't for you. False appraisal of yourself leads to false confidence, followed by lack of success, followed by crises of confidence.

If you want to be confident, you need to be honest in your appraisal of yourself, and you need to be successful.

[-] final_one 11 Points 8 months ago

An important distinction people dont understand well enough.

[-] KeffirLime 6 Points 8 months ago

The asshole notion is concocted by snubbed woman and bitter betas, it's a power thing.

For an entitled women to be snubbed, the only possible explanation is that he must be an asshole. She calls him an asshole to try and reduce his market value for all other women, while boosting and preserving her own image.

Beta's are bitter that they worked so hard and were so nice but come up dry, yet the alpha just came in and fucked her with ease. They were nice so he must be an asshole. They call him an asshole to try and reduce his market value while boosting and preserving their own image.

When you're being served, the power is flowing to you, no one is an asshole. When you're doing the serving, the power is flowing away from you, and when you don't get reciprocated in the way you think you deserve, they're an asshole.

This is why being an asshole is poor strategy, you need to be in a position of power, who is able to pass judgment on those trying to serve them. Without the power you're just a beta behaving like an asshole.

[-] virginlor 6 Points 8 months ago

Key word in this whole passage is want. And that breaks down to the core principle of all of Red Pill philosophy: Power. Having what people want is power. Whether it's physical power (muscles and strength) or money and a nice lifestyle, or even to some extent being a criminal, women (and all people to some extent) look up to, admire, and follow those with power.

[-] iCeeYouP 7 Points 8 months ago

Nigga just listed everything BUT looks lol

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[-] ethansight 3 Points 8 months ago

Thanks man. Clear concise and kinda what I've been working around recently

[-] grewapair 2 Points 8 months ago

Asshole = Not giving a woman what she wants when what she wants is you.

Dick = Not giving a woman what she wants when what she wants is your resources.

Beta = Giving a woman your resources in exchange for nothing, or very little.

If you're good looking, either you're a beta if you give her your resources, a dick if she wants you to be a beta and won't, or an asshole if you don't give her yourself when she wants you.

If you're ugly or otherwise someone women don't want, either you're a beta or a dick. You cannot be an ugly asshole.

[-] SOwED 1 Point 8 months ago

Dick = Not giving a woman what she wants when what she wants is your resources.

Sorry, you're saying I'm a dick for not giving in to gold diggers?

[-] User-31f64a4e 2 Points 8 months ago

Plenty people love an asshole because being an asshole is a by-product of sticking to your guns. If you have to force it, you're not there.

Focusing on your self and your needs - being your own center of reference - is the way to be.

Insincerity - be that white knighting, mistreating people on purpose, pretending you are a big deal that you are not, whatever - usually gets sniffed out and then you are toast.

Also, the focus on yourself allows you room to be 'nice' if and when you wish. Your options are open. Deliberately being a dick has no freedom - you are trapped into acting a certain way.

[-] uwey 2 Points 8 months ago

A simple concept I am about to reveal.

Do what I say, not as I do. Or strike with image to represent but action to confuse. Do what you must and what you please, and NEVER tell 100% what you think, mind you no to bullshit because people hate obvious illusion.

Craft a grand illusion about yourself and you past. I know it sounds fake, but actually it isn’t. You don’t need a lot of money to show the attention grabbing presence.

-being muscular and bold. But had a specific quarks, it makes people curious.

-occasionally do things outside your box.

-corrects your own mistakes by force it into bolder direction, go in with audacity, not words, just do it fast and people really not that fast to judge. Bam it is done. Bitch can catch you say wrong word, never fast enough to catch your non political correct action. Do>y’all

-learn when and how to shut down/disengage/excuse yourself to avoid culprits, you are suppose to be extremely slick and slippery so no one can catch what is in your mind. You need to present a strange image that done so much that nothing really bothers you. Just show up in my experience to have a good time kind of people. People are not stupid, they know you have it. As long as you have actual experience, not online reading you will be fine.

[-] TheTrenTrannyTrain 2 Points 8 months ago

A dick is someone who is malicious, and want to hurt people for the sake of hurting them.

An asshole, to women, is a man who won't compromise, because to do so is to hurt himself.

[-] saucierlol 2 Points 8 months ago

See, there are three kinds of people: dicks, pussies and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because, pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes! And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!

[-] abdullah_ibrahim 1 Point 8 months ago

I want to up vote this many times. Thank youu

[-] JBrody 1 Point 8 months ago

Thank you. I have tried to put this concept into words for a while.

[-] JarHeadJoseph 1 Point 8 months ago

You’re explaining this too black and white. It’s way more complex than this.

[-] 278209AR948Q 1 Point 8 months ago

To be honest, I never understood the meaning of the words being an "asshole" or a "dick". I am not american, so I don't use those words.

The way I see americans use the word is to describe someone whobis disagreeable, for the most part. Don't be disagreeable for the sake of it, it shows.

Be disagreeable when others speak bullshit, when others speak nonsense, when you have to stand your ground. Standing your ground will already out you in the "asshole" category, as long as you aren't insulting anyone.

Being the "asshole" that people like is being a person that stands their own ground, and doesn't need to apologize for not conforming to the image of him others have in their head.

[-] Nocryingok 1 Point 8 months ago

Yeah don't be annoying on purpose, but it's also a lesson to realize that YOU CAN'T ALWAYS PLEASE EVERYONE. Don't try to be a dick, but don't be afraid of being one either.

[-] Gruss_p 1 Point 8 months ago

You can see this in business a lot. Like Steve Jobs also wasn't mean to people on purpose. It makes sense.

[-] Fulp_Piction 1 Point 8 months ago

You're not far away. If you get that zen asshole-in-the-moment vibe you're good. If you're being an asshole to provoke a reaction, you're outcome dependent, and you're sunk.

[-] Nergaal 1 Point 8 months ago

I thought dicks fuck over both assholes and cunts