Disclaimer: I am diagnosed with moderate ADHD-C but don't take medication for it. This post is intended for those here in TheRedPill that have been diagnosed with ADHD or strongly believe they have it. I wrote it in a manner that the majority of people can understand it. Read it on the toilet. Enjoy!
"TheRedPill is the perfect way of life for someone with ADHD. Plating women, lifting weights, and thinking independently is what we naturally do best." - Mr_Badass
How to TheRedPill with ADHD
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- Intro
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- ADHD Basics
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- Intense Exercise
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- Mental Stimulation
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- Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
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- Attention Whore Addiction
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- Hyper Sexuality and Under Sexuality
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- ADHD and Approaching Women
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- Plates and Relationships
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- Friendships
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- ADHD and Dark Triad
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- How to Hyperfocus
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- Workplaces
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- Social Media (Greyscale Mode + Airplane Mode)
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- Innovator of Independence
1. Intro
ADHD, (Attention Deficient Hyperactivity Disorder), is one of those things that tends to be misunderstood by the general public and is usually seen as either a blessing or a curse by those that have it. In this post, I will talk about strategies for those who have ADHD to understand and use TheRedPill principles most effectively. People with ADHD have an "out the box brain" and need some guidance on how to understand some foundations of TheRedPill like lifting, getting stuff done, making money, and plating women. Just because you have ADHD doesn't give you an excuse to not excel at life. ADHD is not a get out of jail free card to be lazy and jerk off all day. You can manage it and even use its advantages to make some serious money, get fit, and plate women. When people hear the word ADHD they usually have four different perspectives about it:
- 1. Psychological Term - Some people think that ADHD means that you can't concentrate, are hyperactive, or can't focus for more than twenty seconds. To concentrate you must enter “hyperfocus” which means to have 100% laser guided concertation for hours on one specific task and ignore the world. Adderall helps turn hyperfocus on and off easily.
- 2. Lazy - Other people believe that ADHD is a made up disorder for lazy unmotivated people that need a good ass kicking. ADHD people simply need to stop "living in the clouds" and come down to Earth so they face stone cold Reality. They have the belief that ADHD people simply need to learn discipline and master their willpower.
- 3. Made Up by Drug Companies - A minority of people believe that ADHD is mass brainwashing by the pharmaceutical companies to sell Adderall to parents so little Timmy can be obedient in school. These drug companies championed the idea of ADHD in the 80s to earn extra profits and “ADHD is made up”.
- 4. Extraordinary Gift - Finally, others claim that Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs would have been diagnosed with ADHD if they were born in this millennium. They argue that ADHD is excellent for outside the box and non-linear technical skills like computer science, software engineering, high mathematics, and programming. They argue that ADHD is a gift for those that have careers were they need to concentrate on something for hours or need to do outside the box thinking.
2. ADHD Basics
The best way is can describe ADHD is that their brain is a Ferrari with really weak brakes. You can drive down a straight highway at 200 miles and hours but have trouble slowing down efficiency when racing around corners. Medication like Adderall allows those with ADHD to have the strong brakes to slow down to do detailed oriented tasks like reading. On the neurobiological level, ADHD is an imbalance of the brain chemical Dopamine, (feel good chemical), and having weak Executive Functions skills like starting tasks, not getting distracted and staying organized.
ADHD Classification
ADHD has three major categories:
Inattentive Type
- Not paying attention to detail
- Making careless mistakes
- Failing to pay attention and keep on task
- Not listening
- Being unable to follow or understand instructions
- Avoiding tasks that involve effort
- Being distracted
- Being forgetful
- Losing things that are needed to complete tasks
Hyperactive- Impulsive
- Fidgeting
- Squirming
- Getting up often when seated
- Running or climbing at inappropriate times
- Having trouble playing quietly
- Talking too much
- Talking out of turn or blurting out
- Interrupting
- Often “on the go” as if “driven by a motor”
Combined
This is the most common type of ADHD. People with it have symptoms of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive types.
Majority of people with the Inattentive type tend to be diagnosed in their 20s and 30s while those with the Hyperactive-Impulsive type tend to be diagnosed as kids. Majority of people assume ADHD only applies to kids and they row out of it when they grow up. The reality is ~40% of kids that have ADHD still have it as adults.
2A. ADHD Disadvantages
According to the book "Smart but Scattered", most people with ADHD have trouble with the following Executive Functions:
- Task Initiation - Ability to begin projects without procrastination
- Working Memory - Ability to hold information while doing complex tasks
- Sustained Attention - Ability to keep attention while distracted, bored, or tired
- Organization - Ability to create systems that keep things in order
- Meta-Cognition- Ability to see your life in a "bird's eye view" and ask "How I'm doing?
Other disadvantages include that we tend to be novelty seekers who have trouble staying with the same women, want to do everything or nothing at once, and energy drinks and pre-workout calms us down instead of giving us physical energy.
2B. ADHD Advantages
According to the book "The ADHD Advantage", most people with ADHD have the following Advantages:
- Resilience - We see the light at the end of the darkest tunnel. Never give up.
- Hyper Focus - We can have 100% concentration for hours on things that interest us.
- Creativity - We make connections between things that tend to not have connections.
- Risk Taking - We love a challenge and excel in emergency situations. It fires us up.
- Charisma- Outside the box thinking makes it easy to tell great stories.
- Multitasking - Excellent at doing many things at once.
Other advantages include being interested in multiple hobbies at the same time, being quick on our feet in emergency situations, and being the life of the party. Most people with ADHD have extra physical energy levels and can exercise for longer than the average person. This is excellent for Dancers and Runners who need extra endurance and stamina.
3. ADHD and Intense Exercise
The best way to manage ADHD is to increase your Dopamine levels and try to keep them high every day. If you have ADHD you MUST exercise every day. EVERY DAY. No ifs, what’s, or I'm too tired. You must do something that raises your heart rate, or engages your fight or flight responses. Exercise is necessary to keep your dopamine levels in a stable range. I recommend HIIT Running or Strength Training. Best exercises to engage your fight or flight response are Squats, Deadlifts, and Bench Presses. Personally, my biggest dopamine boosts are dancing for an hour with the hoes in Zumba class. For most of you doing HIIT Training before your weightlifting for 15 minutes should be sufficient. Realize that for most people with ADHD preworkout and energy drinks give them a calm meditative focus instead of extra physical energy. You can access your emergency dopamine by masturbating and then taking a cold shower. Make sure to hit the gym in the next hour before it wears off.
4. ADHD and Mental Stimulation
On TheRedPill I wrote two posts called," You Need Mental Stimulation to be Alpha", and "PT 2 Mental Stimulation and You" that describe mental stimulation in great detail. The TL;DR of those posts is that men need hobbies to be satisfied. If you have ADHD you MUST....I repeat. MUST have a mentally stimulating hobby to keep you from being bored and depressed. Your brain is like a Ferrari that needs to race down the track at 200 miles per hour once in a while. Your hobby can be anything that proves a mental challenge. It can be anything from fixing cars, doing math, shooting guns, programming, or flirting with women. Your hobby or hobbies must be something that highly interests you and keeps you away from spectator activities like watching television or sports. Spectator activities are not for you Mr. ADHD because they don't reward you with enough Dopamine. I'm sorry bro but your brain is wired differently and needs jolts of neurobiological electrical stimulation in the form of doing a hobby of interest. People with ADHD that are not mentally stimulated tend to get distracted on stop that doesn't matter like social media or focusing on an oneitis.
5. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
It is extremely common for people with ADHD to have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria which makes them extreme people pleasers. Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is an extreme emotional sensitivity and emotional pain triggered by the perception, not necessarily the reality, that a person has been rejected, teased, or criticized by important people in their life. RSD can make people with ADHD anticipate rejection even when it is anything but certain. This can make them vigilant about avoiding it, which can be misdiagnosed as social phobia. Social phobia is an intense anticipatory fear that you will embarrass or humiliate yourself in public, or that you will be scrutinized harshly by the outside world.
5A. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and Oneitis
The best defense against oneitis for an ADHD individual is daily intensive exercise and mental stimulation to keep your dopamine up. If you have ADHD it is extremely easy to get oneitis, and the oneitis tends to be many times stronger than the average person. The reason is that RSD tends to amplify and multiply the amount of dopamine generated when an ADHD person has oneitis. People with ADHD tend to scan every person they meet to figure out what that person admires and praises. Then they hyperfocus on that specific person which generates massive amounts of dopamine, because their brain is working at 400% speed like a hamster wheel which feels good. The more they analyze that person the more dopamine they receive. If you have ADHD you must use metacognition and meditate to analyze if you are unconsciously hyper focusing on a particular person. You must recognize when you are starting to get oneitis to cut that person off. If you already have oneitis I highly recommend you do intense exercise and take an energy drink to calm your mind down. If the oneitis is strong your last resort is to talk to many women to "plant many seeds that generate dopamine instead of one source".
5B. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and Approach Anxiety
For most ADHD people, if they try something new and fail or fall short in front of anyone else, it’s just too painful and too risky to even consider. For these people, Approach Anxiety and Social Anxiety is very common in dealing with beautiful women. The reason is that the sudden dopamine boost from the RSD "short circuits" their brain and they experience Task Inhibition, which causes massive procrastination. A metaphor is if you’re a passenger in a sports car and the driver suddenly revs up to 150 miles per hour for no reason and you don't know what to do. They get overwhelmed with the 100 different ways they can talk to her. For ADHD people, they don't know where to even begin because they become extremely overwhelmed by overanalyzing the situation. The best way for an ADHD individual to deal with RSD is to immediately approach the girl and just say hi ASAP. All they have to do is go up to the girl and say hello. That's it. The more exposure ADHD individuals have to beautiful women the less of a dopamine boost they will experience when approaching.
6. Attention Whore Addiction
For most ADHD people interacting with Attention Whores is like snorting cocaine; addicting. A similar effect also happens when ADHD men deal with women with bipolar disorder. The reason is that most attention whores and bipolar women have excellent skills in getting our attention, not giving it up, which causes a challenge which creates mental stimulation. They know how to activate our emotional regulation centers in the brain, which for most ADHD people are unstable due to dopamine imbalances. The way it works is simple. The Attention whore gets the attention of the ADHD person. Then the Attention Whore either plays hard to get or teases him. For the ADHD person, this causes them to start to overanalyze the situation to create a plan to fuck the Attention Whore. The over analyzation creates a dopamine boost because the ADHD brain gets to work at 400% hamster wheel speed which makes them feel good. The more the Attention Whore makes the ADHD person feel like they're closer to solving the challenge, (fucking her), the more of a dopamine rush he gets. A metaphor is like buying a lottery ticket where you get 4/5 numbers correct every time, and feel like you’re really close to winning the lottery the more you try. The best way to defend again Attention whores is to identify their behavior. Daily intensive exercise and talking to multiple women also helps regulate your dopamine levels so the attention whole doesn't get your hyperfocus.
7. Hyper Sexuality and Under Sexuality
People with ADHD seek novelty and stimulation. If you have ADHD you need to identify if you are hypersexual or the undersexual subtype. The undersexual subtype can go years without the need for sex because they can hyperfocus on their career or hobbies. The hypersexual subtype makes excellent seducers but gets distracted by pussy super easily. Both subtypes are determined by the levels of Dopamine of Noradrenalin, (feel good chemicals), in an ADHD brain. Medications that treat ADHD mobilize primarily Dopamine and Noradrenalin.
7A. Hypersexual ADHD subtype
For the Hypersexual ADHD person, sex gives them a 900% dopamine boost because fucking a new woman is like solving a challenging puzzle that gives them a super high. The hypersexual subtype is like a "Ying Yang Twins" stereotype that has women on their minds all the time. They literally have ass and titties on their mind and are extremely horrible at long-term relationships. They're great at plating women and as teenagers tend to have masturbated a lot. In my personal opinion, I suspect a majority of people in the NoFap Community have undiagnosed ADHD with the hypersexual subtype. If you're the hypersexual subtype you must find ways to earn your dopamine from many resources like intense exercise or working on an interesting hobby rather than just pussy. If you feel like you are too sexual on dates, drink some coffee or an energy drink to lower your libido. The energy drink/coffee should put you in a mellow and chill mood.
7B. Undersexual ADHD subtype
If you are the undersexual type you must learn how to generate dopamine from women. You probably avoid women due to your Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. The good news is that the more women you talk to the more of a high you will receive. This means you must learn to get into situations that increase sexual tension like eye contact. You’re the type that needs to leave video games behind on Saturday night and go to the nightclub more. Approaching women in public should be a standard activity for you. Lifting heavy ass weights needs to be your daily activity to get that fight or flight response. The more sexual tension you are exposed to the more balanced your sexuality will be increased and balanced. I highly recommend you listen to sexualized rap music by Lil Jon, Ying Yang Twins, Too Short, Lil Scrappy, and Young Buck. Start with the song “Whistle While You Twerk" by Ying Yang Twins. Let the YouTube auto play songs for you, I also recommend you do some sort of dance activity whether it's a Zumba class or go to the nightclub being around beautiful women.
8. ADHD and Approaching Women
For both the Hypersexual and Undersexual subtypes of ADHD, approaching women has the same general steps. As soon as you see the girl you must go up and say hello. Don't let your mind do hamster wheels and get distracted by dozens of reasons why you shouldn't approach. Don't go into la la land or let yourself daydream of the future together. All you have to do is go up to the girl and say hello. Then use your ADHD brain to talk about something she is wearing or something around you. I would highly recommend you get yourself in an amused and relaxed state of mind by managing your dopamine levels. Jerk off before leaving the house or drink an energy drink in social situations. AVOID weed at all costs, unless you want to be a zombie. That's it! Undersexual subtypes should listen to sexualized rap music like Ying Yang Twins to get in the mood. If you’re the hypersexual subtype please for the love of the Gods please behave at the workplace. Don't shit where you eat! If you're getting oneitis you better be doing daily intense exercise to balance your dopamine.
9. Plates and Relationships
People with ADHD are excellent at having Plates but usually horrible a having long-term relationships. Having a hypergamous benefits people with ADHD because we love novelty and new situations. Plating multiple women is your natural gift. TheRedPill way of thinking is perfect for people with ADHD. The reason is ADHD people crave novelty and stimulation, and most sexual relationships will become boring after a few months. Trust me, unless you are on Adderall, you will get bored of that dream girl you want to be your girlfriend. An example is that you’re plating Abby and Betty. You will easily get bored of Abby for days and then focus on Betty. When you get bored of Betty then you can focus on Abby again. If you can manage your Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria you can become the perfect seducer. It's very hard for an ADHD person to be committed to one girl because his mind wants new experiences all the time.
9A. OCD Girls are our Natural Enemy
Women with OCD, (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), are our natural enemies because they love to nag. OCD Women will drive you insane with all their rules and need to have things in perfect order. Nagging is extremely irritating to an ADHD brain because it triggers a fight or flight response easily due to our emotional dysregulation. These women think its okay to behave as if they're our mother and they become extra frustrated when you forget the little things. The first sign is that they get mad when you don't text back right away. Women with OCD tend to be accountants, administrative assistants, and work in law. Avoid, avoid, avoid!
9B. Single Mothers and Daddy Issues Are Cocaine
Oh my lord. Single Mothers. Girls with Daddy Issues. Just avoid. If you get oneitis and hyperfocus on them prepare to give up your soul. If they trigger the hyperfocus of an ADHD he will make it his life mission "to provide for her". The Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria of ADHD can make men into the ultimate people pleasers if triggered. Single mothers and Daddy issue girls are excellent at asking for help. The more an ADHD person helps them the more of a long-term dopamine boost they receive due to the sunk cost fallacy. The hyperfocus makes the ADHD person analyze and think of ways of how to help the single mother or miss daddy issues. The more he analyzes the more of a dopamine boost he receives until he is hooked. For single mothers, it’s helping the kid with his homework which leads to babysitting the kid...which leads to being his new daddy. For daddy issues girls it’s helping her pay her phone bill, then buying her an iPhone, then buying her a MacBook. If you have ADHD be hyper-conscious about helping women. They can easily steal your soul the more you help them. You will feel good but she will have your soul. Plating multiple women and doing daily intensive exercise provides defense against getting hooked. Do your best to avoid.
9C. Bipolars; the Ultimate Attraction
Nothing attracts an ADHD mind stronger than a girl with Bipolar Disorder. If Single Mothers and Daddy Issues are like cocaine, bipolar women are like synthetic heroin that makes you want to gamble your organs away for a gram. They have both your soul and you're existing. Just run away. The roller coaster of good feelings and bad feelings is like orgasms for the ADHD brain. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria of ADHD creates one of the most intense people pleasing phenomenon when dealing with bipolar women. The reason is that ADHD brain will work at 1600% to find ways to please her which causes the hamster wheel to spin and generate massive dopamine boosts. She yells at you, beats you up emotionally, cucks you with many men, but you still come home to say "Yes Dear". If you have ADHD please, please, please, avoid bipolar women.
10. Friendships
If you have ADHD majority of your friends will probably have ADHD or have some sort of rebellion to being normal or following the rules of society. The best friendships for you are people that love going to the gym or are some sort of Innovator. An innovator is someone who introduces new methods, ideas, or ways of seeing the world. Your perfect friendships are entrepreneurs, seducers, and artists because they tend to love outside the box thinkers. Friendships to avoid are close-minded rigid people who are highly religious, hate risks, socially shy, or extremely blue pilled. These types will tell you to "chill". The worst friendships are narcissistic A-type individuals because you will clash hard. A-types think they're the smartest people in the room and hate new ideas. These types are usually in Sales or Finance and highly materialistic.
10A. Homegirl Friendships Are Beneficial
For those that have ADHD having platonic female friends, (homegirls), is very beneficial. The reason is that you have a multi-tasking hypergamous mind and get bored easily in sexual relationships. Having homegirls provides safe relationships that will always be there. Trust me, when you replace plates every three months having stable homegirls that know your history and have strong bonds with will keep you from crashing hard from rejections. They are excellent for preselection and you can triple text them without worry. They are great at analyzing if you’re getting too attracted to a girl and can provide structure to bring you to reality. Great homegirls are those that have a cold view of reality and highly practical motherly types. Excellent at reminding you to not be a people pleaser or leave that girl alone.
11. ADHD and Dark Triad
ADHD types tend to be masters of Machiavellianism because they can lie easily, think outside the box, and have silver tongues. Machiavellianism is characterized by manipulation and exploitation of others, a cynical disregard for morality, and a focus on self-interest and deception. People with ADHD tend to scan every person they meet to figure out what that person admires and praises, and most children with ADHD learn to become naturally Machiavellian. A common trait for ADHD teens is that they're frequent liars, (google ADHD lying). The reason is that it's really fun for ADHD to tell great embellishing stories and see how far they can go before they get called out. Embellishing stories allow us to analyze and brainstorm on the fly which is very enjoyable because it's mentally stimulating. A way for an ADHD person to practice Machiavellianism is to learn improvisation and standup comedy. Our hyperfocus, multitasking ability, and hyper focus allows us to brainstorm stories extremely quick. If an ADHD can hyperfocus on themselves and their goals they can think of ways on how to reach goals faster by using other people.
12. How to Hyperfocus
The greatest ability for an ADHD is the ability to hyperfocus; which means to concentrate at 100% while ignoring everything around you. The more dopamine you generate, the longer your hyperfocus. The following strategies can be used to learn how to get into hyperfocus easier.
- Pomodoro Technique - use a Pomodoro app to concentrate for 25 minutes intensely, then take a 5 min break.
- Intensive Exercise - Go to the gym before you study. You should have 2-4 hours of calm focus after.
- Brain Dump - Write/Type everything you can think of for the next 10 minutes.
- Social Fire - Go approach hot women or get in touch with your plates before you study. Do something social!
- Emergency mode - Pretend your project is due ASAP. Try to get things done as fast as possible. Sprint!
- Psytrance Music - Listen to full on psytrance music. The faster the better.
- Delayed Masturbation - When you're about to cum, stop. Wait thirty seconds. Repeat several times.
- Meditation - Sometimes intense meditation can lead to a hyper focused state.
- Racing video games - Play a racing video game for 20 minutes. I recommend the Wipeout HD series.
- Ying Yang Time Get fired up by listening to aggressive and sexualized rap like Lil John or Ying Yang Twins.
- Bedroom Dance Dance in your bedroom to the most emotional blue pilled romantic songs like London Boys.
- Caffeine Once every four days you can have an energy drink or three cups of coffee. Only if you don't have meds.
- Start a Fight - Get in a situation where someone gets really mad ONLINE at you and gets you fired up. F' The Haters.
13. Workplaces
I highly recommend you don't tell your Boss or HR that you have ADHD because they will find a way to let you go. There is a misconception that people with ADHD make more mistakes and cannot focus. There is also a stigma associated with taking Adderall. In the United States, a person with ADHD who needs accommodations is protected by the ADA, (American with Disabilities Act), but HR will find a way to build a case around you and let you go. The best workplaces are those with minimal micromanagement where you can organize how you get your work done. The technology industry especially IT and Outsides Sales where you travel are excellent for ADHD people. Also if you have the hypersexual subtype of ADHD avoid the women at work. Don't chat with the receptionist. Don't eat with your female coworker for lunch. Don't cheat where you eat! Avoid!
14. Social Media (Greyscale Mode + Airplane Mode)
If you have ADHD I would tell you to avoid social media so you don't get distracted. The reality is that unless you're in Monk Mode, (I'm in a happy five months monk mode), you’re going to use social media. What I highly recommend is that you use Greyscale mode on your phone when browsing Instagram and Snapchat so you get a reduced dopamine bump since it's in black and white. Seeing your plate’s nudes on Snapchat will suck but you won't get easily distracted. I also recommend you put yourself in self mandated Airplane mode. This means that you try to get your work done first before you go on social media. Save social media for the evening, and tell the hoes you get busy in the day if they complain. If you're addicted to social media develop a regiment of daily exercise to balance your dopamine levels. If you're still addicted, then masturbate before you go on social media. Trust me, it's not going to be as enjoyable.
15. Innovator of Independence
If you have ADHD you must guard your independence since everything wants your attention to distract you. Your energy source is Dopamine which might be guarded like gold. You must also understand that your ADHD brain gives you the natural gift on innovation. Innovation is to think outside the box and form connections between things that rarely exist together. You must cultivate a sense of curiosity and wonderment for how you see the world. You need to find activities that allow you to naturally hyperfocus. Realize that your brain of non-linear thinking is rare and that having your "head in the clouds" can be balanced by keeping a list of stuff you have to do. Most people will not understand how you see the world and you will probably spend a lot of time being independent. Many people will tell you that you’re really smart, creative, or have lots of energy. This many flatter you, but realize the most innovative people with ADHD are always learning. Your mind must always be mentally stimulated. Many people with ADHD tend to take online courses at EdX or Coursera. Most people with ADHD have multiple artistic, technical, and physical hobbies. You must always see yourself as an Innovator and use your ideas and new ways of thinking to improve your own world.
SeanyyyyBoy 5y ago
My number one hyper focus activity is riding a motorcycle. Nothing stimulates my brain more than going 90mph around a corner.
okayc00l 5y ago
this is informative but annoying to read about by anyone who isn’t heterosexual
jappycontin 5y ago
Love this. I've inattentive adhd, hypersexual, at 32 years old I realized most things you explained through trial and error but this is a great confirmation and gives so many wonderful suggestions, thank you!
gottakeepontrying 5y ago
Wow this is spot on! Im pretty sure this sums up my life. I also have tinnitus which makes it impossible to get quality sleep or relaxation and I have turned from a happy person in my early twenties to now being miserable all the time in my late twenties. Every week I feel like i'm on the verge of suicide because I feel like things will just not get better. But when they do I feel great and high, but then reality sinks in and I get depressed again because my lack of energy and relaxation prevents me from having a fulfilling career and unable to connect with women
prodigyac 5y ago
I am someone with ADHD who takes focalin (it’s like adderall). Does this post still apply to me even though I am taking a focus medication.
Also, a question for OP and anyone who sees this. Do you recommend me staying on focalin/adderall or trying to get off of it. I am 21 and have been prescribed since I was 16?
abelfloresok 5y ago
It is difficult to hold the frame when you have adhd, that you recommend?
rockyp32 5y ago
So I think I’m hyperofcuisng in this girl from my school I want her what should I do? I think I’m getting RSD from her as well maybe even tho we talked and we’re friends I’m not quite sure what to do
captainsadness1010 5y ago
Completely agree with your points on ADHD attraction to daddy issues, or bipolar women... What you are most likely referring to is actually women with Borderline Personality Disorder. The combination can be deadly, and the relationship is established through intermittent reinforcement, something you also referred to in your "4/5" example. Excellent post overall I will for sure be re-reading your tips. Cheers.
Kiloura 5y ago
I haven't read anything beyond the subheadings, because my ADHD brain is not even close to being able to read this slab of info, but the subheadings look amazing!
Definitely adding this to my 'to read' list, to chip away at over the coming weeks.
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DumA1024 5y ago
This really helped, thank you.
Love the formatting by the way.
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Mr_Badass 5y ago
People do this "stupid shit" because they're trying to raise their dopamine levels!
rockyp32 5y ago
Man I was reading some no fap post and this came out of nowhere. This just blew my mind gave me so much info about ADHD I don’t really even know what to think about it. I guess I’m going to start trying to workout more to regulate my low dopamine levels. Is there any other ways to do that besides jerking off? Because I’m on no fap and a lot of this stuff contradicts what they said would help. Also where do u learn all this? I like learning stuff like this but it makes it feel like I’m not in control of my brain everyone’s different we cant all be just like that
Esquivo 5y ago
There is nothing like ADHD lol
thebadmanpuntdbaxter 5y ago
I thought I was just crazy. Thanks for the post
Starilae 5y ago
Thanks for writing this, you have no idea how much you’ve helped me man!
bodea2010 5y ago
Great post. Extremely helpful.
XXXMersenne 5y ago
What a fantastic, quality, well-organized and wonderfully written post.
Thank you very much.
[deleted] 5y ago
I can't thank you enough man. I just had an ex text me back. What you said about bipolar women being 1000ccs of meth right into the heart is fucking true. I really woulda fucked up if I hadn't read this. I just SHIT on her through texts, blocked her, and after claiming "you're making this up" and "You need to be a man" , she goes to my friend who she used to talk to, so she can bitch and get some pity. My last text was pretty well written, pretty proud of it actually. But man, that is a bullet dodged. She was hot, like a 9, but actually admitted to me twice when we were dating to being bi-polar. Anyway, that ship has sailed. The weight of that bitch is off my chest, and left in the dust is her bitching to my friend. Then there's ya boi, running for the hills where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.
RiptideRookie 5y ago
Absolute gold, will NEED TO READ WHEN LOST. A perfect guide to ADHD.
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orieva 5y ago
As someone struggling with RSD: what's your remedy for it in normal activities? Like I can get depressed when I get enough rejections in my line of work. It's not everyday and it depends on my mood, but it's there sometimes. I get this empty feeling from the RSD and don't feel motivation anymore to continue.
spirot 5y ago
normal women to me are like trying to smoke mint cigarettes when you've been addicted to nicotine for most of your life, I almost exclusively bang bipolar girls, daddy issues girls, almost getting oneitis for a girl that I called the police on to prevent from committing suicide who is bipolar, borderline, and schizophrenic. everything in this post is spot on 100%, probably the single most useful post I've ever read honestly
Code-Purple 5y ago
Thank you for the amazing and well written article, I've been diagnosed with ADHD when I was five, got medication for it but I stopped using it since a year because it raised my blood pressure to a dangerous level.
As a person with ADHD you NEED mental stimulation to function properly, if you're not capable of going all-in in the gym because of an injury, doing things like approaching women or learning new things are a great way to do so. You NEED to do shit that stimulates your brain or else your hamster will go crazy, it is also a great way to terminate your onitis.
Like OP said, "TheRedPill is the perfect way of life for someone with ADHD."
studentsensei 5y ago
My ex had ADHD. I assume most of these traits differ between males and females?
Although she functioned pretty well without medication. So well in fact that whenever her behavior "regressed" around my friends and family (who then assumed that she was autistic) I'd get upset because in private she didn't have those issues at all.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Yes, females tend to be more "in their own world", chatty, and appear random. They tend to be tomboys or social butterflies. You shouldn't get upset ADHD females to tend to have issues following social rules which makes them anxious BUT can appear normal with people they trust alot.
TehJimmyy 5y ago
I never got diagnosed but this post resonated with me.I also prefer one to one friendships and function better than social groups maybe cuz of rejection stigma.
foreignbois 5y ago
Bro literally yesterday I was talking to one of my boys about how the bipolars always find me, and he said "maybe it's on you dude, you're always after a certain type of girl" and shit clicked.
Reading this made more sense, 10/10.
OfficerWade 5y ago
Bipolar, ADHD, depression, dysphoria, all of these things are the mental disorders Hitler would use to clean the master race. There’s a word for this that classifies all mental disorders. It’s called neurotic. Psychologist would call you insane. But all of these things have a purpose for being in your life.
FatmanO 5y ago
As a ADHD, this made a huge part in my life. I had no desire for sex but for love and girlfriend, but never knew the word for it.
superbat33 5y ago
AMAZING post..!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bangbangrang 5y ago
I'm writing this post for any parents of boys with ADHD and for people to whom this post may relate.
As a kid I was prescribed Adderall and put into all of these "special education" classes because I had an IEP after the school psychologist declared I had ADHD. I also got in trouble frequently in school exhibited many risk behaviors (lost virginity and started doing drugs at 13, stealing shit etc). I grew up in a very nice area aswell and my behavior made me an outcast. Kids who have ADHD and act on their increased risk adversion will be rejected by adults who aren't immediately responsable for them. This is bad.
Consistent Adderall use ruined my ability to function on the daily. Your brain gets foggy after using stims for so long whether you need them or not and the moodswings when you come down are absolutely unreal. I felt like a fucking nutjob but had zero frame of reference because I started when I was so young (3rd grade). By the time I was in 8th grade-highschool I just thought these feelings were normal. Kids cannot handle the responsibility of helping a doctor regulate their own dosage.
My parents were both pretty bad at parenting me, they were a lot older than most parents (late 60's now and I'm 24) and I think that they just couldn't keep up with the level of stimulation I needed. I know for a fact my dad didn't want to have kids.
I graduated highschool with 2.2 GPA and couldn't even get into the local state school where all my friends went. I had absolutely no intentions of going to college. What I did fully intend on doing however was joining the Marine Corps.
This is where my life finally changed for the better and where I discovered some of the power that is ADHD.
All of the "stress" of being an infantrymen really just felt like a shit ton of stimulation to me. Since I was off Adderall now I could finally sleep and found out that I can get some fucking dank sleep in only 6 hours. I also began weightlifting since my friends in my platoon did and to this day I always have energy for lifts. Sometimes I'll skip the gym in the morning if I have something to do knowing I can hit the gym at 8 or 9pm and have the same amount of energy.
I also barley exhibited any of the signs of stress or being overworked that my young peers did (apathy, homesickness, laziness in personal life etc) and because of that I was seen as "mature" and promoted above my peers, making sergeant in only 3 years.
I decided to leave the Marines and go back to college to make more money. I used that focus to retake the sat scoring a 1540/1600. Completely self taught using Kahn academy. I also took 8 classes online while I worked earning A's in all of them.
I go to top tier school now, I'm very happy of where I am but I'm not in the Marines anymore which means my constant stream of stimulation is gone. Also I'm frankly quite bored with what my college peers are doing with their time. Chasing girls and drinking doesn't do it for me anymore after I've been on the go working 10+ hour days everyday for a few years preparing for deployments etc.
To any of you out there now with ADHD or have kids with ADHD know this: boredom is the absolute fucking enemy. If you get bored you will either 1) do drugs 2) play endless amounts of videogames 3) do stupid shit.
You gotta get out yourself out there or your kids out there and find whats going to give you that rush over and over again. It's not easy to do but once you find it you'll feel it. This is only way to keep yourself motivated. Trivial shit like earning goodboy points at work or getting good test grades won't do it.
For me it's getting tattoos, riding my motorcycle, snowboarding, scubadiving and exercising. Everything else is pretty fucking boring especially school but since I love the above things so much i can keep beating myself over the head to study hard in school.
iiiamamused 5y ago
Great post. The need for simulation is so true and is so relevant to my own life. I've been depressed and anxious for the last five years. Pretty recently I started playing sports, riding my bike, reading children's books aloud, every single day. These are things I can do for hours at the time that it's ridiculous. I have energy I haven't had for years; and it's not the jittery, shaky energy. It's a calm subdued focused energy of being in flow all the time. There's nothing like it.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Excellent post. I see the treatment of ADHD as doing daily intensive exercise and having strong sources of mental stimulation. The benefits of ADHD are definitely extra physical energy and being your best in "emergency mode" during a crisis.
I call drinking with friends, texting girls, and watching television "spectator activities" that bore me. What stimulates me socially is loud techno nightclubs, approaching hot women, and dance classes with women. I believe that most cases of people having a strong oneitis are because that girl is their main source of mental stimulation. They become prone to overanalyze scenarios with her because it spins the mental hamster wheel which causes a dopamine rush. If this guys enrolled in an online class that really interested them they could wean themselves of an oneitis.
[deleted] 5y ago
unbelieveably helpful article man, i can't imagine how long it took you to write this. it took me a few hours to read it. unreal man. thank you.
apost54 5y ago
Incredible content. This is the first time I have been motivated to change myself in over three years. Thank you man.
CaliforniaDungeons 5y ago
Hands down my favorite post of all time and well written.
It would be great if you could add some tips on how you deal with life even outside of TRP. Or anything regarding better ways to deal with ADHD.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
I can make a later post on tips for ADHD. I highly recommend you check out the "How to ADHD" YouTube channel for great advice!
ThePantsThief 5y ago
Are you ADHD out of curiosity? (If you mentioned in the post I missed it)
I can't stand to watch YouTube videos, I don't have the attention span for them
Mr_Badass 5y ago
I'm Moderate ADHD-C (Combined) !!
meowsero 5y ago
Do you take any medications? I tried most of the medications which work wonders but always hated the side effects and the fact that I have to rely on a pill. But I do see if I would have taken them more consistently for the last 5-10, my life would have been in a better shape now..
anonymous6578 5y ago
I relate so much with this, thanks for the post. Literally restless all day to go to the gym and feel so nice and the dopamine rush is insane. Have trouble focusing on anything else and consistently doing anything else apart from going to the gym though and the thing you said about oneitis is so true, literally take over my mind and I create so many theories and stories in my head constantly whirring at 100 Miles per hour.
SKRedPill 5y ago
ADHD has exploded into a cultivated disease thanks to the distractions of the internet and news. I'd argue it started right from the time you invented newspapers, but there has never been a time where we were this incapable of deep work as a species for now. This never ending bombardment of distractions has made our minds unstable.
Check out your internet history. I figured out that when I was browsing, I was basically seeing a web page every minute or 2, which means that was how much my mind's focus declined down to.
Don't believe me. Tell you what, here's an exercise in mental strength. Quit the TV, the smartphone, the internet. Just sit down and try to focus on one thing for 16 hours straight (the only break allowed is a break of silence). Or just spend a day doing nothing other than staying awake and just watching life.
If we take away the phone and the internet for a week, every mental counsellor in the neighbourhood will become a millionaire in no time.
redpillcad 5y ago
Dont be in a hurry to wear a label like ADHD (or any disorder that has no biological markers) and start explaining away your failures and listing your challenges.
Instead just treat the symptoms with lifehacks
velinxs 5y ago
Seriously, everything listed on that is a side effect of either being human or being male. Just meditate regularly if you want to be able to control yourself. This ADHD diagnosing just gives people a reason to be a failure / play victim.
raskit420 5y ago
True, but for people who have struggled unknowingly with the condition for years, and who have had to employ various coping strategies throughout their childhood and teen years, being enlightened of the fact that you need to do more stuff to get the dopamine needed to stay sane is very helpful. Nobody was able to tell me this as a child, even after spending countless nights agonising over my pitiful and helpless existence, simply as the “little boy with a big brain”. I now know the reason for my pain. Lack of dopamine and people like you.
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meowsero 5y ago
When you say masturbation, that also include orgasming and ejaculation? Because most of the time it leaves me drained and unmotivated like I used up all my dopamine stores..
TehJimmyy 5y ago
My thoughts aswell.Maybe he meant without porn or once in a while but even so it does make me more relaxed to do things afterward or gets me in the mood to start doing or continuing productive things even tho i am tired for a while.
Its better to find other ways too which is the point of this post.
Torrey8888 5y ago
I'd like to add another way to hyperfocus: watch a speedrun of your favorite video game. For the next hour or so (at least for me) your brain just wants to solve complex things quickly and efficiently
scaevola212 5y ago
You mentioned weed and stims but what effect does alcohol have on ADHD and how should people handle it? I've had mixed feelings about it, usually 1-2 drinks help me loosen up, but any more than that and I actually get more anxious and neurotic than before. I'm working on drinking way less or just stopping altogether but was wondering what other people felt.
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Mr_Badass 5y ago
You will be surprised what Hyperfocus can do. Someone with ADHD will read this whole post and the comments just to avoid doing laundry lol.
BrodinsOats 5y ago
Holy shit, I feel personally called out
Self-honest 5y ago
My laundry has been in the dryer for 2 days.
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excaliboor 5y ago
Bullshit post.
ADHD
does
not
exist.
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rockyp32 5y ago
I think it does exist but I think it’s more of a mindset that’s created and developed instead of a different brain mostly
excaliboor 5y ago
triggered austist confirmed
excaliboor 5y ago
cc: /u/-Fidelio-, /u/futterwackenformed, /u/MrBowick
D0pef1end 5y ago
You're an idiot. ADHD does exist, as do many psychiatric conditions. We produce less dopamine in the brain, which is why we have the symptoms we do.
Depression must not exist either, because everyone gets sad, amirite?
No.
Dailymail is not a psychiatric journal, nor is it even a reliable news-source. You can TYPE IN ALL CAPS all you want, it just makes you look like you're trying too hard to be right about something you clearly have no idea about.
excaliboor 5y ago
I never typed in all caps. Forgot to take your meds?
rockyp32 5y ago
You can have an opinion but ur trying to prove ur point by being ignorant no one gonna listen to you if you present it like that
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D0pef1end 5y ago
I always forget to take my meds, i have adhd. Hurr durr
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7a7p 5y ago
Well damn. Today I found out I have ADHD and it’s the reason why my life has felt so fucking out of my control no matter how much I want it to not be the case. I mean, fuck drugs and all that...but this helps.
Biggie_Smores 5y ago
Hey guys I'm back from my happy place
Whad I miss?
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Mr_Badass 5y ago
I agree that some of the ADHD-I [Inattentive] symptoms definitely do mimic those of Sleep Apnea or Hypoglycemia, (low blood sugar). Those two conditions should be checked first before attempting to diagnose ADHD.
dongpal 5y ago
it's the addictions. women simulators ( porn ) life simulator ( video games) sociallife simulator (reddit facebook instagram..). you trick your brain that everything you do is correct, while in reality it's not and everything you "accomplish" is fake.
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JDMBrah 5y ago
What sleep disorder if I may ask? I’m going in for a sleep study soon.
KingMarshmalo 5y ago
I have every ADHD symptom listed and have been informally diagnosed by some very blunt people (all male) of authority. I’m terrible at all social interaction besides meme-ing with close friends and don’t take life seriously at all. I have no female friends and am beyond inept at social interaction with females. Fuck I need some help.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Do they make fun of you for being forgetful OR for being hyper?
KingMarshmalo 5y ago
I sometimes get obnoxious and can’t pick up some social cues. I’m not a sperger or an autist but can’t socialize for shit.
D0pef1end 5y ago
I used to be this way, before finding TRP. I hyperfocus on reading, and have since before I was in kindergarten.
I was terrible at social interactions, was (and still am) absolutely obnoxious and forgetful. But as with all things, training makes you better. I am great at social interactions now, because I have worked in the bar industry as security/doorman and it allowed me to talk to a plethora of people, including gorgeous women.
When you are in a position of power like that, you can be as obnoxious as you want and it doesnt really matter because people are too drunk to care, or are out looking for goofy-ass people like me to have fun with.
People watching as security is also a great way to learn social cues and see how chads interact with both men and women.
KingMarshmalo 5y ago
I only hyperfocus on video games and religion/politics/philosophy.
What am I supposed to do if I don’t have access to watching or interacting with lots of people?
D0pef1end 5y ago
You do have access, unless you are stuck in prison or are physically disabled and unable to go to malls, bars, restaurants, coffee shops etc.
Those same things interest me as well, in fact during work last weekend I had a wonderful hour-long chat with a 7/10 philosophy major about life, death, religion, the meaning of life, and addictions.
You are putting limiters on yourself for no reason. As someone with ADHD who is also pretty intelligent, I learn a lot about anything and everything that interests me; I read about it, enter discussions online, and chat with random people who are around me for whatever reason.
You can go to the mall, and walk around male/female clothing stores to watch how couples interact; you'll see a ton of older dudes blowing money on their younger girlfriends (usually betas), you can go to coffee shops and talk about different teas or coffees with the people just sitting around not really doing much, you can join facebook groups where people have meetups to play DnD, fortnite, minecraft etc but just in larger groups (around 10 people).
Theres tons of ways to learn about people, and social interactions out in the real world, you just have to go out and do it.
Shitonya_Johnson 5y ago
great writing thank you
and thank you for posting it in this sub
iamtheswoop 5y ago
I know I have ADD and I take Adderall already, but this post just explained everything perfectly, it all makes so much more sense why I get so bored with women after a few months. And also why my marriage was a complete disaster
Fyrjefe 5y ago
What a well constructed post. I am an amateur psychologist and I love learning about experiences of different minds. I don't have ADHD, but many of these things spoke to me because of my chronic depression. I take a medication that helps with dopamine reception and so these tips on leveraging the production will more likely than not be great additions to my mental management toolbox. It seems that modern age has many good things to help those who aren't psycho-normative but as well have many pitfalls for us (just look at what social media and porn does to normies)!
I think the most surprising thing that I'd learnt from your post was how stimulants slow you down. That makes me stop and consider what I know about that drug in order to better understand how the mind works. Coffee is a toss-up for me. Sometimes I get a buzz, other times I can drink it then fall asleep for a few hours. Alcohol is more awakening (tends to be for those with depression) but obviously has great downsides if you drink a lot or become addicted.
Great post and thanks for sharing your experiences. I especially love that your message doesn't just say to take the reigns of your life or else, but gives many starting points in order to do so. I hope that many will find something in what you wrote, even if it's only a means to become more empathetic toward those with different types of ADHD.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Thank you! This post was created to create a foundation for the 4 to 7% of people who frequent TheRedpill and have ADHD, or may think they have it. I want them to understand that ADHD has specific challenges and strategies, and that standard RedPill advice might be too broad for them
For example, it's easy to tell a person with ADHD to go approach 100 women to get over their oneitis. What would also be beneficial for them to understand how RSD, (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria), multiplies the effect of oneitis to the 9th degree. Heavy mental stimulation like an interesting online class will help them get over the girl alot faster than just lifting weights or fucking other women.
453gCrisco 5y ago
Ever thought about putting your work in a blog? I'd read it, for sure.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
I'm working on a post called Getting it Done (How to TheRedPill with your ADHD Part II, III, IV). It will have sections 16 to 45. Goal is post it this Friday.
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MisplacedSanityP 5y ago
Holy shit. This resonated so hard for me. So I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was younger, took some pills for a few years then got off them and from that point forward never thought about it again. I always wondered why I was a pathological liar and why I always got bored with long-term relationships. Thanks mate, really put it all in perspective for me.
james3374 5y ago
I don't see how being a liar has anything to do with ADHD. If anything, I get in trouble for being too honest and forthright.
D0pef1end 5y ago
Lying can be fun, and provide a lot of dopamine. Also, instead of getting yelled at or chastised when I was younger, I'd lie about everything. Eventually, as in the last 2-4 years, you become extremely adept at both lying and figuring out other people's tells when they lie.
When I was very young (5-10 years old) I was honest to a fault. Then I learned that lying was usually an easy way to get what you want/stay out of trouble.
james3374 5y ago
I guess that makes sense. Looking someone in the eye and being ruthlessly honest when nobody else will (supervisor, bully, authority figure) and watching them lose their shit can be a rush also. It makes things worse when the adrenaline hits my brain and I laugh maniacally while they glare.
Kmatheory 5y ago
I haven't read this yet but something tells me you popped a couple Addies before typing this
Mr_Badass 5y ago
More like three cups of coffee! Took me six hours straight lol.
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Mr_Badass 5y ago
Many of the treatments for CPTSD,( Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), are also highly effective for RSD. I would recommend you read my here on TheRedPill called ,"The 4Fs: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn", and read the section on The Fawn response.
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theLesserOf2Weedles 5y ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurobiological_effects_of_physical_exercise#Attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
Regular physical exercise, particularly aerobic exercise, is an effective add-on treatment for ADHD in children and adults, particularly when combined with stimulant medication (i.e., amphetamine or methylphenidate), although the best intensity and type of aerobic exercise for improving symptoms are not currently known.[22][23][91] In particular, the long-term effects of regular aerobic exercise in ADHD individuals include better behavior and motor abilities, improved executive functions (including attention, inhibitory control, and planning, among other cognitive domains), faster information processing speed, and better memory.[22][23][91] Parent-teacher ratings of behavioral and socio-emotional outcomes in response to regular aerobic exercise include: better overall function, reduced ADHD symptoms, better self-esteem, reduced levels of anxiety and depression, fewer somatic complaints, better academic and classroom behavior, and improved social behavior.[22] Exercising while on stimulant medication augments the effect of stimulant medication on executive function.[22] It is believed that these short-term effects of exercise are mediated by an increased abundance of synaptic dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain.[22]
Distance running has been a god-send for me.
VoidInvincible 5y ago
I have ADHD, but I didn't even know most of this stuff. Good post.
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Mr_Badass 5y ago
You might! It could be one of your personal life discoveries that changes everything. Look up "How to ADHD" on Youtube if you want to find out.
Compeliminator 5y ago
that was a great post and extremely informative. you could not have written a better description of me. ive allways known that i have adhd. ive had some horrible devastating relationships with women because of exactly the things you listed. 9c especially hit home. i allways tell people i have adhd with a splash of obsessive compulsive .disorder
UnlockYourInnerAlpha 5y ago
Number 7 ahhh man that is me, ass & titties on the brain so much as soon as I've nut I'm like who next ffs so annoying
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Try HIIT running and see if helps!
Code-Master13 5y ago
This explains why my life was better when I was doing insanity lol
UnlockYourInnerAlpha 5y ago
Cheers,
I literally just had my post work out meal lol...
That's another one, if I leave gym until after work as gym became one of my vices, my brain struggles to concentrate at work instead it, just thinks of what gains are gonna happen later...
So i litteraly have to go in the morning.
Or back in cod days i'll be obsessed with my KD ratio and watch 1000s of videos on cod.
Or if im reading a book i'll want to read it at work...
Basically what ever my mind thinks of, it locks on like a fucking pitbull.
I want it to focus on work but because it doesn't appeal to the short term gratification side of my brain it's difficult as fuck.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
That's classic hyperfocus. You have to learn ways to control it so you can turn it off on and on like a light switch. The Pomodoro technique helps when you have to do a task but are focused on another thing. Another thing you might have is the Impulsive symptom of ADHD that must be tamed with intense gym time like you mentioned.
james3374 5y ago
HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training)
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Thank you! I edited the grammar!
james3374 5y ago
You bet! Indoor cycling, sparring (jits/ boxing) are my preferred HIIT cardio. If I were any good at soccer or basketball, that'd count too.
Luckyluke23 5y ago
:'( I don't really know what to say to this post other than WOW. thats for posting it!
I was told when I was 24-25 maybe, by my mother I got tested for add as a kid and I have it. put they didn't want to put me on pills so they used " diet and exercise " to manage it. it didn't work.
I'm not 28 and I have tips a and tricks i use to get through my day, though i can tell you. it WAS TOUGH reading this long as post. I don't get hyperfocus. I get the opposite. I get " lazy brain" or my brain is just always on the " GO GO GO". ( what I mean by this is: my brain stopped reading and was decided what it was going to post before I had even finished reading the post)
right now, I feel all jittery... I'm not sure if it's because I drank coffee or not. The only time I get " calm brain" is when I look at porn or go to the gym. I'm not sure if it's because I've been looking at porn since I was 13 and now I'm 28 or what. But porn is pretty much LIFE for me.
I also have hypersexuality. so much so, I can be outgoing to the shops going to buy food and be checking out the girls going " she's hot" I'd do her". it's bad. Don't worry though, I'm not a predator my RSD keeps me from that.
I was bullied hard as a kid. so much so I INSTANTLY went into my shell. I pretty much learn threw middle and high school how to make myself invisible enough that no one would bother me as much. I would dampen the flames with my actions so to speak.
I've only ever had sex with 2 girls in my life. my oneitis girl ( yeah funny that) and another girl i got thanks too pick up and red pill. I'm a not better now, but I still have a long way to go. It’s nearly summer for me. So i will be hitting it hard again trying to see where i am at.
As for work? Well, I’ve probably been employed about 2% of my ADULT life. ( i left school at 18). I find work EXTREMELY difficult. I mess up a lot. Like WAY WAY more than the average person. I end up apologising and then feeling like shit for fucking up. This will go on for a few weeks and then i will quit because i feel like I’m not used to the company.
I used to work at a TAX firm. My job was to get the files for the accountants. I couldn’t do that. I feel really bad for saying it because i always feel like I’m less than everyone else. I mean, how hard is it to go to a draw search threw 100 files and pick the right one. It's like an hour job MAX would take me like 4 hours and I was trying REALLY hard. Like I REALLY needed this job to work out for me. But like everything else I do, I quit it because I felt like I wasn’t good enough for it. That's how I feel about most things in life. I’m close... but not quite there. I did find a job i did stick out ( until there wasn’t any work left) it was in a call center. We got 1700 calls a day so i really couldn’t switch off. It was GOGOGOGOGOGOGO. I think I worked best in that environment where I just shot people information all day.
I feel less jittery now haha. ( it could be the ASMR I am lsitening to right now. I feel like it helps) I also have a MASSIVE problem with English. So much so that no one is going to be able to read this post very well. My brain thinks faster than i can type so the ideas aren’t as coherent as they could be. I have been called out on my English MANY times as for it doesn’t have very goods grammar or spelling. It’s SO bad i feel like i need to go back RELEARN it, even though I’m a from an English speaking country and my folks are English. I pretty much tick every box of the classification expect hyperfocus. I mean I can watch tv and play games and that and i can get immersed. But if someone disturbed me i can be pulled back from it. I also find that sometimes it would take me 45 minuets to watch a 21 min TV show because i pause it to go on Reddit or something. The RSD hit hard too. I did have a oneitis in the past and i used to think about her ALL THE TIME, to the point i was obsessive. I feel bad about this too because i went a little crazy at the end of it. Though she met someone and married them so I’m very happy she is happy and i never talk to her again.
As for the relationships. Every girl i have ever had a real relationship with has been damaged in some way. I don’t mean she is a little crazy. Either she has daddy issue or has been raped or some other traumatic event has happened. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Except one my oneisits girl. ( she just fucked me because she needed to get over a long-term relationship and i was the only guy around. We were 20 at the time and she had been in the relationship for 3 years so she wasn’t really whoring it up to have a number of guys around. She is pretty shy to be honest) Fuck my brain is all over the place right now... I don’t know what to think or to feel i mean, I KNEW i had ADD ( i don’t think i have the hyper-focus) but I just brush it off to it being “ me”. Then i read the symptoms and i can just rattle off a list of examples i have in my life of them.
I don’t know what my next move is here... I think i might read up on this a little more now and decide what to do. I mean. Will pill really be the answer? I’ve lived without them for 28 years now. Whats the point of taking them now? What do i do? As the dude would say “ new shit has come to light!” Thanks for making such a detailed readable guide man. Maybe this isn’t “ just me” and something is wrong with me. even if it’s not I AM going to try to read up on this.
edited for spacing.
453gCrisco 5y ago
You're still young and have many years of a possibly happy life to look forward to. I'm 40 now, and living a blue pill life (which I got damned to by only female relatives as a child) got me exactly nowhere. Even if it takes years to apply the most basic TRP principles, it's still more reasonable than staying blind for the rest of my life.
Luckyluke23 5y ago
thanks man.
what i meant by that comment was. i'm not sure they would work? since I'm older and developed now? i don't know all the science behind this stuff. i still have to do some research on it.
Brutal13 5y ago
Try to get a job in sales. You might like it.
Luckyluke23 5y ago
yeah i used to have one. was ok.
[deleted] 5y ago
A lot of good points here: Daydreaming about your future together, under sexuality, etc
I feel like this entire post could be different if someone took their meds as prescribed
The bad: you repeated ur coffe/energy drink like so many times
Wokiip 5y ago
Wait, if im reading right. Coffees are bad for adhd?
DumA1024 5y ago
No, coffee good. Working the car analogy: Where normal ppl go into high RPMs on coffee, ADHD just up-shift into higher gear for lower RPMs and better fuel (focus) efficiency. Because the motor is spinning more slowly it is easier to focus it.
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mightyquinn478 5y ago
Interesting thoughts on how women with mental disorders are drugs for people with ADHD, I just recently had a breakup with my oneitis that has bipolar and other mental issues and this post really spoke to me and awoke me to this issue that I am weak for women that have problems in this area.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Social butterflies who are always cheerful are the best for ADHD!
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Mr_Badass 5y ago
ADHD does seem to get forgotten about after childhood, and most people tend to be misunderstood how it applies to dating. I am glad this post helped you understand something about yourself.
I recommend you get over your recent breakup by 1.) taking an online class at Edx or Coursera that highly interests you 2.) Exercising hard daily.
awoke11 5y ago
I like this! Would be cool if someone wrote about OCD, which I have. It’s another set of problems but I can get extremely obsessive over stuff especially girls. I think OCD people also have very easy to get oneitis, at least I have.
Red Pill have helped me so much since I found it 8 months ago, especially the keeping “frame” part. I could lose frame and get very upset at my exes because we got 5 min late or over small stuff which didn’t fit my rules., and ye mate guarding. Damn, I always obsess if she will cheat or whatever... though red pill have changed my thinking patterns 180 degrees
Mr_Badass 5y ago
It sounds like your OCD is a "Checker" or a "Doubter". Checkers repeatedly check things, (oven turned off, door locked, etc.), that they associate with harm or danger. Doubters are afraid that if everything isn’t perfect or done just right something terrible will happen, or they will be punished.
I think in your case you have a fear that she is going to run away if you don't check on her; aka having control. OCD is also a Dopamine imbalance just like ADHD. In ADHD our living room lights switch turns and off randomly, while in OCD the light switch has to be pressed many times to get the lights to turn on. This girl is a source of dopamine for you so you feel like she has to be protected. Try daily intensive exercise to and see if they lower your anxiety and OCD urges. Maybe controlling weights can help you take control of her.
awoke11 5y ago
Interesting, yeah I’m definitely a checker since childhood (always checking if doors locked 3 times, putting away sharp stuff out of sight etc)
I’m getting a lot better by starting practicing but I always have to have my focus on different hobbies all the time to feel good. I always get depressed by doing unproductive stuff (watching 1 hour tv by myself is enough)
Yeah I’m learning to just not give a fuck, if she cheats her loss. But it’s hard sometimes, I’ve stopped mate guarding the new chick I’m meeting and she is more attracted by me then any of my other exes. Thank you for your insights.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
I believe you basically always have to be stimulated by something you enjoy just to keep a certain amount of dopamine inside the brain. OCD and ADHD are like brother and sister, and many times both of them appear together because they're both impaired "executive function" conditions. With OCD there is too much chemical activity, and in ADHD there is too little chemical activity. You might be the type of person that can have both OCD and ADHD depending on your mood and time of day. I highly recommend you read this article from the International OCD Foundation: www.iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-ocd-and-adhd-dual-diagnosis-misdiagnosis-and-the-cognitive-cost-of-obsessions/
awoke11 5y ago
You could be absolutely right, because I have some adhd things going on as well but not all of them. Thanks I will read it
Y0gurtDestiny 5y ago
This may as well have been an instruction manual on me basically. Great post and insights.
3G6A5W338E 5y ago
We're not sick. They are. M0.
https://www.datapacrat.com/Opinion/Reciprocality/
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Oh wow. I'm gonna so hyperfocus on this!! Reading!
BornShook 5y ago
Meds:
Adderall>ritalin If you take ritalin, and have social anxiety, that might be the problem. Talk to your doctor about switching to adderall. I like to think of adderall as the extrovert, and ritalin to be a paranoid introvert. I took ritalin from 5th to 11th grade. Hardly ever talked to any girls in that time, and was always awkward. Switched to Adderall 11th grade, and my confidence skyrocketed. Dopamine levels were way up. Was great for awhile, I was a lot more popular, started partying, drinking and smoking weed. Which eventually became a problem. Felt like a zombie like op said. Quit the weed, and got my life back eventually. I probably wouldve continued to be the quiet loser if I never switched meds, but I also wouldnt have wasted a year addicted to drugs feeling like a zombie. I switched back to ritalin for 2 months at the start of freshman year of college and it was shitty. I had bad approach anxiety and it made college difficult at first. I switched back, and things have been fine since. I take 40 mg er (extended release) per day.
Tldr: Took ritalin since I was a kid, switched to adderall. Confidence boosted, but had more addictive behaviors which became problematic. Switched back to ritalin for a short period of time. Ritalin caused anxiety. Switched back to adderall. Be careful getting involved in addictive activitys/doing drugs while on it. Adderall is better though.
Edit: Felt like a paragraph on meds is necessary that's why I made this comment. Fixed the comment a bit.
453gCrisco 5y ago
I have exactly the same experience, regarding Adderal and weed.
BornShook 5y ago
I can't discuss my expierience with weed without getting into baseless abstract theories about myself. I just can't smoke a lot of weed or my reality will become super fucked up. Probably because I have ADHD, and take adderall. A year and a half ago I was like a zombie for about 8 months. Smoking ridiculous amounts of weed daily. Similar situation with you?
453gCrisco 5y ago
For me, weed (which I smoked for about 20 years) is counterproductive even indipendent from meds. While it calms me down and often helped me to great insight about myself and my environment, it robs me of my ambition to better myself and makes me behave like a drooling idiot. It's a shame, because being stoned is about the only time I'm really "in the moment", which also is great for sex. I'm trying to reach this by psychotherapy and mindfulness now. The combination of weed and Ritalin, made me spend hours and hours jerking off to porn, instead of being productive. So no more weed for me.
Also switching from Ritalin to Adderal had a similar effect on me like you described. Walking through the gym on Adderal was the first time I really didn't give a fuck about other people and what they might think of me, but was able to concentrate on myself and my workout. After a life of failings and frustration*, self-confidence and social anxiety are a great issue for me, which Adderal helps a lot with.
*I was diagnosed at 7 y.o., but my mother kept the diagnosis a secret from me and everyone else, except her sister for 35 years. I learned about my ADHD at 38, from going to psychiatrists because of depression (which my mother damned me to).
BornShook 5y ago
I hear you man. Weed is bad. Regular weed users who claim it doesnt affect their lives in anyway are kidding themselves. They could be a lot more successful if they didnt smoke weed. I feel like their realitys have been so distorted that they cannot identify weed as the source of their problems. They say things like "I need to smoke weed to deal with the stress of life. Without weed, I dont know how I would deal with this shit dude." When weed is actually the source of their problems.
Then you take a look at these peoples lives, and 80% of them are complete trainwrecks. Some are actually successful but could be acheiving a lot more without weed. To be clear Im talking about heavy tokers. People who smoke an 1/8 or more a week.
453gCrisco 5y ago
Yeah, weed makes life's struggles more bearable, but at the same time might rob you of just the necessary energy to change something about it.
Took me much too long to realize this.
BornShook 5y ago
Its probably the weed itself that caused you to not realise this. It's why weed is dangerous (at least a lot more than people make it out to be).
Nobody is willing to have a discussion about the negative effects of weed (likely because most people who smoke it have the mindset of a 10 year old). They use the same regurgitated strawman arguements. "Weed is better than alcohal! Nobody has ever died from weed overdose!" Nothing can get through to these people. Ive seen peoples lives go to shit because of it, mine almost did. I guess we're just the smart ones who actually realised this.
rosewoodguy 5y ago
as someone with ADHD I really relate to all of the above haha but since I also suffer from Social Anxiety im having a hard time utilizing all the potential that my ADHD gives me, i know about the ''aproach the girl as soon as you see her'' but having my mind always thinking and working i cant help my self to analyze first my approach and make up every possibilities before doing so.
MrBowick 5y ago
ADHD is fake as fuck. If you have a lot of energy and interests that's great. Don't take medication that limits your potential. Almost all these drugs created today are to curb the modern Alpha, just be awesome instead. I know I'm going to get downvoted to hell but it needs to be stated that these new autistic twats telling anyone who doesn't function within the norm have some kind of itis but fuck that. Don't ever put your kids on depression type shit or mind numbing medicine. Let them fulfill their needed stimuli and thrive as a top dog. God bless
Mr_Badass 5y ago
All types of perspectives are welcomed. In France, they don't believe in ADHD. French psychologists are extremely against ADHD, and they recommend changes in behavior and social settings instead of medication. Majority of them hate the American DSM-5 which is used to diagnose psychiatric disorders. You can learn more at : www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/suffer-the-children/201203/why-french-kids-dont-have-adhd
JDMBrah 5y ago
‘Depression type shit’ or ‘mind numbing medicines’ lmao. You’ve obviously got no clue on how STIMULANT medications work. You’d be surprised how many boys down at Silicon Valley are popping Adderall & dexamphetamine like it’s candy.
D0pef1end 5y ago
These 2 idiots on this thread that think they know better than years and hundreds of psychiatrists/psychologists along with psychiatric research are laughable.
They are probably also the billy-betas that think alex jones is right about the water turning the frogs gay, and all that other bullshit they consume on a daily basis.
These idiots read one tabloid article and think they are licensed clinicians. They can't think for themselves, which is why they were/are betas in the first place.
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azicre 5y ago
I think you mean borderline personality disorder and not bipolar they are different.
PlebbitorXDLeWin 5y ago
Adderall is illegal in my country, should I just keep drinking Monster until my heart explodes?
uglyhobo 5y ago
If they're legal in your country ask your doctor about Methylphenidate/Ritalin/Concerta, Intuniv, Strattera, Clonidine, etc.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Talk to your doctor about taking a nonstimulant like Strattera or specific low blood pressure medicine like Clonidine.
D0pef1end 5y ago
Sometimes you gotta do illegal things in order to get what you need/want. Cannabis is also a semi-effective treatment for adhd; some studies have found.
Caffeine only works to an extent. I use to self medicate with monster and redbull before I was diagnosed, but they made my anxiety disorder worse.
PlebbitorXDLeWin 5y ago
My brain is still developing and I've been smoking since 15 years old, trying to wait until my brain is fully developed, I was smoking thrice a day since that age and i am in my early twenties.
D0pef1end 5y ago
Im the same as you, except at 16 years old is when I started. My brains hella fucked up from xanax and MDMA abuse anyways, i figure cannabis is the least of my worries
trp_throwaway_88 5y ago
This post was so relatable that it's making me rethink some of my skepticism about ADHD. I think it's overdiagnosed and slapped on boys who just need a learning environment that isn't engineered to grind him into a sexless industrial drone - but that there are some guys who really do have whatever mental abnormality this is, and this post will be a highly useful resource for them. I know I'm going to test out a lot of your ideas.
EDIT: You strongly recommend having 'mentally stimulating hobbies' in one of your earlier points. Can you think of any 'trap' hobbies that look like they fit the mental-stimulation bill, but will cause more problems than they solve? The prime example coming to mind for me is video gaming, which was a pretty big 'hobby' of mine in my teenage years and cost me, if I had to guess, a few thousand hours of time that could have gone to something better.
under_cover_hippy 5y ago
Paintball has been a great hobby for me. It’s like real life video games, mixing technology and fitness
Mr_Badass 5y ago
A 'trap' hobby that might seem like its mentally stimulating but really isn't has to be playing brain games like Luminosity. You may get trained to be better at one of their brain games but it doesn't really provide any tangible benefit. Luminosity has been sued by the American government for false claims. Other similar 'trap' hobbies are doing crossword puzzles and word searches.
Another class of trap hobbies that in my personal opinion might seem mentally stimulating but arent are telescope astronomy and looking at small things via a microscope. They just don't stimulate the brain enough even thou they may seem scientific in nature.
3G6A5W338E 5y ago
Try deresure, mirishita, bandoori or llsif.
septumsgrave 5y ago
This is awesome. As someone that got diagnosed in his 40's I recognise a lot of this in my world. I got laid off from work when I was diagnosed as work got involved in it all (and I am in the UK). They 'managed me out'. My wife is the most terrible OCD person I know and I am always pissing her off. I need a red pill and an exit from the matrix.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
I wonder if you get a big whiteboard OR buying post-it notes and have your wife write down what she wants to be done can help you.
septumsgrave 5y ago
Yeh we are working on that. I recommend anyone that is married and an adult with ADHD that they take a look at Melissa Orlov's stuff and book - https://www.adhdmarriage.com
LonelyBirb47 5y ago
Thanks for the heads up and tips. Makes a lot of sense mainly the Attention whores, OCD women,not even talking about bipolaric i love those crazy bitches, and THE GODDAMNED NEED TO HAVE BRAIN STIMULATED WITH ANYTHING TO LEVEL UP KNOWLEDGE. [Both love nad hate the last part. Especially when i want to chill but dont want to jerk/fuck but mi brain is like DO SOMETHING , READ SOMETHING ] Also would add slow...talking...people... srsly ffs.
Do you have more tips on to getting into trance AND hyperfocus? Im capable of getting into HF only when doing something artistic/writing and or interesting but im lacking the control over it and when I do someting [like a thought or realizing im in HF] FOR 0.00005 sec different its gone and it pisess me of.
Also im meeting a lot of plus A narcistics idiots i cant dispose ATM... Any tips on developing Dark Tryads traits withtout the standup comedies? [Working on acting very slowly , but still misses something to it.]
Sorry for Qs but you seem like someone who knows a lot of ADHD... Im still figuring this shit out somehow.Or more like percieving it and realizing it
zanzabar209 5y ago
Iv been recently diagnosed and use my meds thrice a week to help learn better habits. It's working well so far. Gonna use the "edging" technique at work on break lol psytrance helps a ton. I lift every damn day and it's bliss for about 3-4 hours then I crash. On days a don't use meds, theanine and coffee is helpful and i time it with the post workout crash. The race game thing sounds interesting. I use to play halo swat in highscool before school started and the quickness gave me a sick boost. Also the wario ware games help. The fast pace induces massive stimulation
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Instead of "edging" at work by yourself a Rubik's cube and try to solve it on breaks. You will probably get a dopamine rush because you always seem to be so close to solving it lol.
laserdicks 5y ago
Wow. This hit me hard. Thank you for putting the effort in to writing this. I'm planning on modifying my lifestyle now because if a run in the morning can help me stay not-fired I'll do it.
I've been in denial about ADHD for some time now but the science is too settled to deny any longer. Trying neuro-feedback starting next week, so we'll see if that's bullshit or not.
BrodinsOats 5y ago
I did a course of neurofeedback for 3-4 months or so. It is exceptionally effective. Keep up a daily meditative practice to retain the benefits.
laserdicks 5y ago
Wow! I was not expecting that response at all. Good to hear, I look forward to hopefulyl having the same results.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
I have a simple ADHD test that's about 70% accurate. Drink a Rockstar Sugar Free energy drink. It has to be sugar free. Wait 30 minutes and record your state or mind. If you're really calm, focused, chill, and meditative more than likely you have ADHD. If you have physical energy and hyper you probably don't. This is not a medical test in any way.
[deleted] 5y ago
This is because the caffeine acts as a stimulant, which results in similar effects as Adderall/methylphenidate/vyanse (prescription stimulants, increase NE and DA in the brain)
If someone WITHOUT ADHD took thOSE MEDS, they would also be hyper and have increased physical energy. They end up having too much dopamine and Norephineohrine from the meds, while those with ADHD get to optimal levels thus they are “focused chill and meditative” as u describe
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NoOneMatters 5y ago
I think I know exactly what you mean. The first time i actually did enough coke to feel it, I felt like my brain went on God mode. I can't explain it any better than energetic calm
laserdicks 5y ago
Yeah this has been my experience, but I can't stand those people who are like "omg! I'm so OCD cos I did my washing and swept the floor today!".
laserdicks 5y ago
Interestingly I'm drinking one right now and I've finally managed to get on with the long list of tasks for the day. I have to disclose though that I've had an EEG and the primary diagnosis was an abnormal lack of executive function. So the denial is mainly emotional bias. I also hate the idea of being dependant on chemicals. I'll do it for a couple of years til I get in a position where I can call shots though.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Personally I drink an energy drink two days of the week to get stuff done. I try to wait a few days in between each energy drink to not build up tolerances. I highly recommend you read the book "Smart but Scattered" to get advice on how to manage low executive functions. I know that book is on Libgen.
septumsgrave 5y ago
Got get some amphetamines and see if they make you calm. Or cocaine. I used to wonder why I was the opposite of anyone on this stuff and it just chilled me out. Now I get Xenidate XL and it makes me sleep a lot better plus focus... but I also like a day or two off it from time to time.
PM_ME_UR_NAKED_TITS 5y ago
Holy shit, so that's why speed made me feel sober instead of hyper? Now that explains everything
Marty30001 5y ago
TIL something about me. Very good post man, really interesting and helpful stuff.
natelifts 5y ago
what about adhd women? i seriously think i attract those types like a magnet for some reason
Mr_Badass 5y ago
There are ADHD women. They tend to be not as diagnosed as men, (about 50 to 75 percent of them are undiagnosed). The problem is that ADHD in women tends to be perceived as part of their personality. Almost all ADHD women are the ADHD-I (Inattentive) type. These girls might be thought of as a daydreamer, forgetful, chatty, ditzy, or has her head in the clouds. Always daydreaming and random thoughts. They tend to hate social activities and dating because they get confused by social rules. An example is Ariana Grande's character in the TV show Victorious. www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqK0IKc4Pfc .
The ADHD-HI, (Hyperactive-Impulsive), girls exist but its rarer. ADHI- HI girls tend to get anxious and energetic easily, like to talk fast, and can't seem to relax. They are usually tomboys or social butterflies. An example is Jessica McCabe herself from How To ADHD. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmeE3qTJRUw
xxWildbeast13xx 5y ago
I think I might have ADHD that’s crazy.
BydandMathias 5y ago
As far as I could remember I was always that kid who was described as “living in his own world” from my parents and teachers. I often lay down at night constantly analyzing and thinking about social situations that happened months or even years ago. Reading this made me realize that I probably have combined ADHD. When I play an instrument, video game, or read an interesting book time goes by extremely quickly. Lifting also puts me into a state of focus that I cannot seem to replicate outside of lifting.
Something that bothers me is that I never got diagnosed as a kid. During school, I never understood how people had the ability to start on a project and finish it within an hour or two. For me i’d start a project then get distracted for 30 minutes, start work for 10, and repeat. Working out math problems was worse as I’d leave a problem half finished, and work on another one leaving that half done as well. Hell, I even typed this out by jumping back and forth between paragraphs adding details that were relevant.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
I have been described as "living on another planet" from parents and teachers growing up. I remember I could read a 300 page book about medieval history in a few hours, because I loved Age of Empires II, but struggle with reading 10 pages for English.
Do you take preworkout when Lifting? That could be the source of the focus since its a stimulant. When I take an energy drink it calms me down into a stable focus.
DryExit 5y ago
Great post. It’s funny. I have found a lot of these things have helped me deal with my ADHD through experience. Please post more like this.
UnlockYourInnerAlpha 5y ago
13 yup my old manager was on my Instagram and see me post about adhd and ocd then started acting funny and boom.. gone. Im good at what i do, so getting another job wasn't hard lucky enough.
Operator216 5y ago
The ADA should protect you if you can prove that's why you got canned.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Yeah, you have to keep ADHD a guarded secret at work. At one of my old job, I ended up doing 160% of the work compared to everyone else. When I told the HR lady that it wasn't fair she didn't understand. She said, " Well you take medicine that makes your brain super fast so it should be normal for you. Other people don't have that advantage. That's your normal speed".
gottakeepontrying 5y ago
Wow what a fuckin cunt shouldnt be in HR at all
Aytharyos 5y ago
That HR lady had the dumbest response I have seen yet about ADHD.
ToryTosh1922 5y ago
Should have agreed with her and asked for a 60% pay increase
dr_warlock 5y ago
You told the company about a medical condition or medication you're taking? Never talk to the police, in all its forms.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Actually I was a dummy bragging that I had ADHD and HR assumed I was on medication.
chauncy_popperstein 5y ago
Just sit back and laugh when someone from HR of all departments, is responsible for the company getting sued.
[deleted] 5y ago
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The_Phoenecian 5y ago
Shot to the heart, and GayLubeOil's to blame.
rn7889 5y ago
So freaking true. My SO consistently interrupts me while I am renovating our house then wonders why it takes so long. I finally just quit responding to her. It's improved everything because she interprets it as me passing her shit tests and being dedicated to my happiness/not easily broken.
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iamtheswoop 5y ago
Holy shit yes! That was my marriage all the time
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Great observation. For laughs, the song Naggin' by Ying Yang Twins describes the female OCD /male ADHD relationship perfectly.
HeadingRed 5y ago
Just played that - read the lyrics - spot-on gold in those words.
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453gCrisco 5y ago
Great post, thank you!
I just recently lost three years to a Dark Triad Psycho women and what you wrote, describes my experience perfectly.
I still massively suffer from RSD, but found a psychologist to work me through my experiences of psychological childhood abuse and the ADHD issues you described.
It might take years to work everything out, but TRP and posts like yours help with concentrating on my ADHD strengths and coping with all the inherent flaws.
And yes, doing sports regulary is a must!
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Sometimes the RSD from ADHD is connected with C-PTSD, (Complex Traumatic Stress Disorder). It can be argued that childhood abuse rewires the CPTSD brain towards an ADHD brain as the child becomes an adult. The child experiences of flashbacks, hyperviligence, and sound/light sensitivity evolve towards ADHD symptoms of a lack of focus and low attention span.
I highly recommend you read the book, "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" by Peter Walker. It's on Libgen.
453gCrisco 5y ago
Thank you for the recommendation, I will read into it!
casemodz 5y ago
Wow...didn't realize there was a name for it...definitely hypersexual...TIL.
The_Phoenecian 5y ago
Jesus Christ dude you just described so many things about me that I didn't even realize. My insanely co-dependent relationship with a BPD girl a few years ago. Overanalyzing situations and hamstering 100000 reasons not to do something. Only doing real work when I've entered "emergency mode." Thriving in situations where I have to do complex mental tasks on the fly. So few things are stimulating enough to warrant my attention.
Exercise is the #1 thing that I've found that makes me feel normal. That and getting completely absorbed in playing my instrument/making music.
Are you a psychologist or something?
Mr_Badass 5y ago
I'm actually an IT Consultant. My major was Computer Science. I did work for a Behavioral Health clinic for a number of years managing patient records. Cognitive Neuroscience and Abnormal Psychology are one of my pet passions, specifically PTSD and ADHD. I am knowledgeable about PTSD and ADHD because I spent years trying to understand myself. My therapist first thought I had PTSD due to a very rough poverty filled childhood but changed the diagnosis to ADHD.
I read many books, research papers, and started noticing similiar patterns that helped me managed my ADHD. Going to the gym and making sure I was mentally stimulated with hobbies helped me stop getting oneitis so easily. Managing Hyperfocus greatly improves one quality of life .Plating many women has allowed me to learn a lot about their behavior and avoid traps. In conclusion, I'm not a psycologist. You can say I learned from life experience and reading too damn much.
chasethebanks 5y ago
Honestly, you’re an inspiration.
Thank you for posting this. It will change my life.
septumsgrave 5y ago
I am a cyber security consultant. I am massively interested in neuroscience, cyberpsychology, behavioural science, developmental psychology and social engineering (all which I find are related). I also have ADHD and have been diagnosed with PTSD (which was caused by living in a war zone as a child). I love your knowledge and insight.
-Fidelio- 5y ago
ADHD is indistinguishable from having inflation of dopamine. Daily masturbation? Video games? Drugs? Alcohol? Cut that shit out. If you've done that daily for most of your teenage years, it will take serious conditioning to rewire your brain.
The way ADHD is diagnosed among boys it is also indistinguishable from those who have boring or unstimulating teachers.
But with all that said, this is a pretty high quality post. (Daily) Excercise is absolutely the best medicine for adhd symptoms. Research shows this as well. Yet psychotherapists and the like prefer to prescribe medication that have the potential to cause permanent depression.
Some of this reeks of "oh look at me, I'm so special". Like it's not like attention and time isn't to be guarded as gold for non-adhd people.
In fact, most points are decent advice even for non-adhd people and that again begs the question about the validity of adhd.
MisplacedSanityP 5y ago
How would you recommend getting rid of a Video game addiction? I've been addicted to Drugs as well, but that's readily more apparent why it should be stopped to me and the people around me. With video games, no one really gives me shit for it and it doesn't have any super apparent negative health effects.
voxiqs 5y ago
For someone with terrible ADHD it exercises the shit out of my brain if it’s strategy based
-Fidelio- 5y ago
That was the hardest shit ever for me, as I think I was addicted at 3 years old, with never any limits imposed.
When I realized I wasn't going to progress my life to the next level (pun intended) without leaving games behind, I took ever more rigorous steps until I found one that worked. I had to do it by going cold turkey from both smart phone and computers for a month.
The withdrawal was insane. I brought these items to a friend and we agreed that I could access them once a week for 2 hours, solely for work.
After that I tried to build a more balanced relationship with technology, but each time it would spiral back to old behaviour. At some point I accepted that I was killing part of my old self. I wasn't going to play no more games for a while as I had previously intended. I was NEVER going to play games alone again.
So I play the occasional tekken after a BJJ workout with a friend at his house, but that's the only gaming, maybe once a month.
Mind you, I also had a very strong goal why I wanted to not game so much anymore: I fucked up chasing pipe dreams my entire twenties and am now in early thirties with little to show for. I have catching up to do and I have to pay the price of not having as much fun now.
I can't recommend a best path for you, because I don't know what you're like. After a couple of tries I had to go cold turkey as I said. At this point it's been 6 months and surprisingly, I rarely feel the urge to play games. I read way more books and I've mostly redirected that desire for the new loot box towards achieving the next work goal. I have to keep my eye out to not let either social media or youtube watching grow to take that same place, but that's easier, because they're new habits, not one that was bred into me for 20 years.
Don't overthink the method
Try a way. If it doesn't work, try another way. Keep doing it until it works. Don't overthink it. Prioritize action over inaction.
Though as painful and hard as the change was initially; you are going to find a strong motivation for doing so, either to move away from something you hate or towards something you desire.
MisplacedSanityP 5y ago
Well for my business, I need to spend a few hours a day on the computer no matter what, otherwise, i'm not even sure what the fuck to do? I have my morning routine which takes 3 hours or so which consists of productive shit like the gym, meditation, and reading. Start work around 9, normally done around 2. Then I have the rest of the day, just open. I spend the later half of the day one day each with my gf and two plates, but the other time, idk mate. I've already got my business that makes me good money, but I still don't have a mission so to speak. Hobbies don't really keep my attention. Did you find other things became enjoyable as you got over your addiction? For me at this point, it's just video games and sex.
-Fidelio- 5y ago
Yes, I find other things have become more enjoyable.
Though I wonder why you call it addiction. I'm not sure the price of going through withdrawal would have been worth it if: 1. My life was in balance (as yours sounds) and 2. It wasn't impeding my goals.
Like it doesn't make sense to me to try and find a mission to stop videogames. It's solutionism at its worst. Unless you desire something else more, why would you?
Or is there something you desire that you're afraid to admit to yourself to wanting?
Mr_Badass 5y ago
The first step is to discover what genre of video games are you addicted to. Shooters? Strategy games? etc..
MisplacedSanityP 5y ago
Just general video games. To give you context, I switch between rocket league, league of legends, and any triple A game that has my attention at that time(atm monster hunter world). I know I get nothing from these games. I just don't feel good without them.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
I have an outside the box idea. Have you ever thought about doing math for fun? I think your the type the can get addicted to math and leave video games behind.
I recommend doing College Algebra, MAT 117, on EdX. It's sponsored by Arizona State University. They use an AI program called ALEKS to teach math.
Enroll for free and see if math is can be addictive to you.
RangaDan 5y ago
Holy shit dude I make so many little mistakes but calculus had been a fucking godsend. Hyperfocusing a page long volume equation and nailing the answer... Nothing feels better! Also it helps wirh organisational skills because you need to lay everything out in a coherent way for the marker etc. Would recommend
Mr_Badass 5y ago
A good number of scientists, inventors, and engineers can hyperfocus on a calculus problem like if it's an addiction or life mission. On top of my head their is evidence that Einstein, Thomas Edison, Michael Faraday, and Harvard Cushing, (Neurosurgeon) had ADHD and hyperfocused on equations. Leonardo de Vinci and Mozart also had ADHD which at the time was known as "absent minded".
-Fidelio- 5y ago
What evidence is there that any of these had adhd? I can get the epilepsy diagnosis of muhammed considering the stories that support such a diagnosis, but how are you applying this to a da vinci, for a diagnosis of adhd?
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Google the name of the scientist and add +ADHD to it. You can also Google the phrase "famous scientists with ADHD". Leonardo daVinci was known to have an attention span of about 2 minutes which was known as "Leonardo style" at the time.
-Fidelio- 5y ago
I'm a bit disapointed that you'll happily make a claim that they had ADHD, but then can not provide the evidence that you yourself found convincing.
So when I do the google search in regards to leonardo da vinci, the claim seems to be based on Mario Livio's book, who in the first video I find from him says: "Clearly we don't know if he had ADHD or not"
The evidence that would support it is that he started a lot of projects that he didn't finish.
For the others I find mainly second rate sources of blogs and clickbait farms.
[deleted] 5y ago
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trp_throwaway_88 5y ago
Nah, I started relating with a bunch of what was said at the beginning and, in OP's words, 'hyperfocused' read through the rest because it was so compelling.
Great work /u/Mr_Badass.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
I think it's 28,000 words. I remember I saw 12 pages in Microsoft Word. If they hyper focus they can get thru it lol.
PlzBuffBeamu 5y ago
I had to come back to it a few times haha
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Mr_Badass 5y ago
What shuts my brain off completely for me has been Photoshop and digital art. I have to set alarms to remind me to take breaks.
JazzJack2 5y ago
Such a great post man, thank you very much for this.
If someone have only the Attention Deficit part without the Hyperactivity, would you still recommend to do the same or something different ?
For example, a person can sit for hours without moving but his mind will non-stop jump from one thing to another
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Someone that has ADHD-I (Inattentive) definitely has to do different things than someone who has ADHD-HI (Hyperactive-Impulsive).
ADHD-I (Inattentive), would have to improve their "executive functions" like starting tasks, keeping attention, and not being distracted. An excellent book for treating ADHD-I is the book "Smart but Scattered". In practical terms the best things that help improve executive functions in ADHD-I are keeping automated lists like "Any.do", using a Pomodoro timer app to learn to maintain focus for at least 25-minute blocks and put their phone in airplane mode when studying.
For ADHD- HI (Hyperactive-Impulsive), they would have to find a way to something physical before starting mental tasks. HIIT Running, dancing, and strength training tend to help them. This type should do a bodyweight workout when they wake up. The reality is that if a person has ADHD-HI they would have already been diagnosed as children and are taking medication.
JazzJack2 5y ago
Thank you very much for the detailed answers. I'm sure that some of your advices will help a lot of people and thus maximize their capabilities.
I would also like to know what is your approach to the ADHD meds like Adderal- you have mentioned that you are not using them, what is your general opinion regarding those meds? And more importantly, what is the right way to use them and when ?
regarding the dopamine levels issue- how does the energy drinks or masturbation helps us to be more focused ? the goal needs to be lowering or highering the dopamine levels?
Thanks again for the detailed answers. it seems like you have a lot of knowlege regarding this topic.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Medication like Adderall is useful as a last resort with Severe ADHD or as recommend by a person's licence psychiatrist. Medication should be used only as prescribed by a medical doctor because specific doses and stimulants do different things to the brain. People who use Adderall who don't have ADHD are just getting themselves addicted to a high that will slowly burn out their motivation. My personal reason for not using medication is that I can regulate my dopamine by adjusting my lifestyle. While my ADHD is moderate, it's manageable by daily excercise, sexual tension, and being social. When I have trouble starting tasks I have to do things that raise dopamine. The most common thing I do is HIIT running on the threadmill or listening to fast upbeat music like youtu.be/cXdqGOwcY4E .
Things like masturbating, energy drinks, or listening to fast upbeat music help raise dopamine and noradrenalin levels. They're basically brain chemicals that make you feel good and regulated. People with ADHD tend to have very low amounts of dopamine and noradrenalin which makes them procastrinate and distracted. Rasing dopamine makes us ADHD people become focused, pay attention, and get things done. When I wake up I am usually a zombie and by the evening I have crazy Hyperfocus and get homework done. The reason is that I raised my dopamine little by little all day. When I wake up the next day I have to do it again.
trees_away 5y ago
Woah. Shit. That’s the first explanation about why I’m an unmotivated zombie every morning and never want to fall asleep. I’m gonna have to start amping my dompamine right after wake up.
JazzJack2 5y ago
Thanks you so much for this, great examples.
I took some of your notes and will try it by myself.