The Importance of Lifting
(Skip this part if you just want to read the field report)
18 months ago I had just discovered TRP and was a lurker here. I decided to try out tinder, put a picture of my face, a picture of me with friends in a social setting and a picture of me with a dog. I got 3 matches in one week, none of which responded to my message. I eventually got frustrated and deleted Tinder.
The blow to my ego acted like a wakeup call, I became determined to improve my SMV as much as I possibly could. At the time I was about 19% bf, not skinny-fat but very little definition on my body and face. I did lift, but had a case of fuckarounditis and didn't take the gym seriously. I was determined to change this, I hopped on a full body 3 times per week program. Essentially Jason Blahas (lol I know) ICF 5x5 except I did it 3x5 and removed shrugs and added chinups. With this program I increased my bench to 225 lbs, my squat to 330 lbs and my deadlift to 440 lbs. My body fat also decreased, my abs started to show and my face got more chiseled. All of this from only about 4 hours of lifting a week for about a year. Think about that. 4 hours a week. The AFC spends about the same time per week jerking off. LIFT and don't eat shit food everyday
Me now
About 180lbs at 5'9 and 12% bf. Visible abs in almost all kinds of lighting, alot of IOIs wherever I go, especially when I wear a T-shirt.
[Field Report] The Importance of Frame
Yesterday (friday) I decided to try tinder again. Now I have already achieved success with women through day game and social circle game from before, I have 3 plates and racked up a humble n-count of 7 after being redpilled for about 18 months. But I have never tried Tinder, mostly because there was never a need for it but also because I thought that due to my painfully average height I was better off sticking to day game and social circle game. But I wanted to try it out and see what the difference having a ripped body and a more chiseled face had. I used the same style pictures (but more newly taken), the only thing I added was a "candid" shirtless picture of me as the first picture, and I went from 3 matches in a week to 22 matches within the same day of starting Tinder.
It is very warm here in Sweden (for now), I have a pool and my plan for the evening was to chill in my pool. So my opening line to all of my matches was "Kom och bada" . This is hard to translate as "bada" is a verb that in this context stands for casually swimming/being in water. So basically "Come and bada". Some of them didnt answer, most of them said they wanted to but were busy that day, but 2 of them were up for it the same day (ended up picking the hotter one). ("Lätt" = "easily" or "I would love to".)
The second girl answers "That is perfect, as I just bought a new swimsuit today", to which I respond "Who said anything about a swimsuit?" Now this girl was about 10 km from me, but still decided to bike all the way to my place at almost midnight just to "bada" with me.
When she arrived I greeted her by hugging her (as always). I could feel that she really enjoyed hugging me as she was squeezing my lats, so I picked her up and and spun her around. She also really enjoyed this as she started to giggle, I put her down and with an arm still around her I pointed at her bike and said "Your little brother must be so nice to let you borrow his bike", which leads to her giggling even more
"Omg, I got it as a gift. Stop bullying me."
I smirk
"You are an asshole"
"I know"
I then tell her to follow me to the pool. Then comes the most predictable shittest. (keep in mind she is about the same height as me, maybe an inch shorter, and I'm about 2 inches below the national average.
"You are not completely as I thought you would be.."
I ask her what she means.
"You are short".
"I know, Im a down to earth kinda guy" (makes more sense in Swedish, where down to earth is called "jordnära", which also means close to the earth)
She continues the shittest
"But doesn't it bother you that I am taller than you" (she isnt)
I maintain frame and without flinching I answer
"Not at all, in fact you are not tall enough. I normally don't date women whos tits are not in the same level as my eyes, but ill give you a shot."
She raises her eyebrows
"Really? But Im still pretty tall"
"Yeah but not tall enough, but dont worry, Im sure you have other good qualities" smirk
Bam. Completely flipped the pressure and more specifically flipped who was in self qualification mode. She then starts to defend herself and explains that she actually is taller in the day, and that she has heels that make her 7 cm or about 3 inches taller that she wears often. I just sit back and smile. because Just by the virtue of having a stronger frame than her, I got a HB8 who is the same height as me try to qualify to me (the 5'9 manlet about 2 inches below the national average), about her height (I think 3 inches above the national female average) not being enough for me.
This is the essence of frame. The subconscious balance of whos reality you are operating within, as Rollo Tomassi puts it. As is known, in an interaction with a woman, if you have stronger frame she will submit to it. That is what has happened here. But keep in mind, I knew she was attracted to me beforehand due to the way she responded to my touch. That is also a big part of why that specific response to the shittest worked. If she was not already somewhat attracted to me, that kind of bold disqualification neg would probably not work as effectively.
Long story short, she initiates more kino while in the pool because she "wants to feel me flex my muscles", I escalate, go for the kiss. This leads to dryhumping in the pool and then I bring her up to my room and close the deal.
TL:DR
Lifting is very important, it significantly increased my matchrate on tinder. Frame is very important, it got a girl who is the same height as me try to qualify herself to me because of the fact that she wasn't tall enough.
Thanks for reading.
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[deleted] 5y ago
I honestly can’t even imagine how easy it must be for masculine men to score in these cuckified Euro countries. I mean I know American men are pretty pathetic but it seems like the majority over there are actually effeminate.
rand0m0mg 5y ago
But you have to realize that the average Swedish women are like objective 7/10 compared to most other countries.
Colombslavia 5y ago
As an even bigger(smaller?) manlet that is 5'6...I also get the same amount of matches per week. Most don't respond. But the importance of frame is ridiculous. I had to game this bitch from tinder for like a week just to smash. And get this: SHE IS 5'8. The whole date I just roasted her and had a DGAF attitude. She ended up wanting to fuck in my car at 10pm at an abandoned football field.
As a side note: any time tall bitches give you shit for not being tall enough just do what OP did. TELL THEM THEY ARE NOT TALL ENOUGH
These bitches ain't shit
xNightly 5y ago
Man I can't even stress the importance of this comment. As a short guy (165 cm), my past reaction of getting shittest about my height was the complete opposite to what it should be. I'd react in an adverse aggressive manner and would watch the respect they had for me drop to an all out low. Frame is key, if you give off the mentality that you're height does not affect you the slightest bit, watch your respect elevate and they'll rarely shittest you for it again.
OmegaMan2 5y ago
Lift, lift and lift some more.
[deleted] 5y ago
Yep, lifting is especially important for shorter men. Tall guys can sometimes get away with having an average or poor physique.
Peter_B_Long 5y ago
And it's easier for shorter guys to look like they have more mass because they have shorter limbs. Example: Every NBA player looks "skinny"
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[deleted] 5y ago
Lifting check
Holding frame check
What about spinning plates? What advice do you have spinning plates bro.
DaftOdyssey 5y ago
From /u/TRPAndNoFapGotMeLaid
Don't be needy.
Don't fake not being needy, actually don't be needy by working on other options and your own mission at the same time
Don't be afraid to lose her, plates are for breaking. It is a matter of when, not if.
EDIT: CREDIT
[deleted] 5y ago
Wtf. This is literally a quote from me lol. Im flattered
DaftOdyssey 5y ago
Yup! I literally have to remind myself of these once a while to keep myself on track. Thanks for the advice you have given me a while ago, it really has helped
[deleted] 5y ago
No problem, I'm glad I can help
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GEAR_IN_THE_REAR 5y ago
Obviously, it should be something that's it normal to not wear a shirt. For example playing Basketball, on the Beach or anything sporty/outdoors really.
I have a "candid" picture of me and my girl friend (FWB) playing with our dogs on the beach. A lot of insight in just one picture, and it works like magic.
After that, I never had to open to girls anymore.
Gozsayin 5y ago
Damn bro "she biked to your house" This is how u know u got game
donkeydodo 5y ago
Putting his dick on a literal pedestal
BillSander 5y ago
Up vote for useful, concise, and not reading like an erotic novel.
[deleted] 5y ago
Dude, when I was dryhumping her in the pool I could totally feel her pussy against my hard throbbing cock
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blacklightsleaze 5y ago
Abs are absolutely must on tinder.
[deleted] 5y ago
Unless you are 8+/10 in the face
DaftOdyssey 5y ago
I can personally agree to this. All I have is face pics and I'm getting a couple dozens matches each week. Although frame, like you said, is very important on the meet ups, more than anything.
bluemoviebaz 5y ago
Frame and game are everything
ZODINtheEVIL 5y ago
New here. What is SMV and IOI?
Merwebb 5y ago
Sidebar will make your life easier
[deleted] 5y ago
Sexual market value. Indications of interest
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Joe_Grows 5y ago
It takes skill to dry hump in a pool.
[deleted] 5y ago
With dryhump I meant humping with the swimsuit on and without penetration
westhewolf 5y ago
I assumed you had created a bubble of dry air under water that eliminated all moisture (except for hers) where you were able to move your hips with hers in unison while bringing your genitalia near eachother.
Hillarysdilddo_2016 5y ago
You jest but this is not as far fetched as it seems.
With practice one can move their hips fast enough under water creating what is known as "cavitation" or bubbles of dry air. This provides a safe environment for semen distribution to the female genitalia. However, one must be cognizant of the harmful effects of cavitation on the genitalia, see: pistol shrimp.
Revo_Luzione 5y ago
I upvoted just for your handle. The spergadelic science trolling comment is just a bonus.
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adonis_forte 5y ago
I set that clam on fire while underwater call me Spongebob ????????????????????????????????????
JerryLawlerPigFace 5y ago
It was a good joke while it lasted.
NeverLace 5y ago
Underbart :) you seem like a jordnära kinda guy.
Kid_Kadoo 5y ago
It is neither the lifting or the framing that increased your match rate. Although yes those techniques did help you get where you want! But, in essence, you felt better about yourself cos you weren't a fat shit anymore, therefore you had the confidence to not care when a girl is worried that you think you're too short. ( I mean you seem to still care you are "too short", but through this mindfulness of confidence that will go and you will forget you ever cared in the first place).
I would say, however, as you have probably seen fatties or uggos scoring high with top-end women, it is the confidence factor... You must have heard of fake it till you make it right?
Essentially you are going from unconscious incompetence (fat shit whining that he doesn't get girls) to conscious incompetence (where you realise what you are and want to change), to conscious competence (I am trying to change now), to unconscious competence (I never think about the method, it just comes naturally to me).
You sound like you are becoming happier in yourself and that is always a good thing.
In fact, I would say that when she questioned you about your height she was merely testing how confident you are in yourself. No girl want to be with a guy (or even a girl, either in the context of friendship sex or relationship) who isn't confident in themself. Someone who lets their insecurities affect how they act in life.
When you flipped it on her saying that maybe she isn't tall ENOUGH, that just proved to her that you don't care about your height, therefore SHE doesn't care about your height. This is when it could have gone either way for you. Had you tried to make excuses for your height she would sense your insecurity and weakness.
Tl;dr - Could have done it even without your newly chiseled good looks! But at least you're taking care of yourself which is always attractive.
Tarkakabhai 5y ago
What about guys aka incels who think being short is over for them.
chrisname 5y ago
How did feeling better about himself get him more matches? Maybe I need to update Tinder but AFAIK there's no "emotional state" feed.
Kid_Kadoo 5y ago
He said he updated his pics. Body language is a big thing, and women respond to how you hold yourself. If I could reference you back to 'fake it til you make it' too, there are many instances of anxious weedy people (myself included) becoming strong confident leaders through modifcation of posture and thought processes.
Ever heard of power posing? It is a simple way to start but basically before say, an interview, or before giving a presentation you put your body into a position of power. Now, that could be something like clasping your hands behind your head whilst you're sitting down (the king), or reaching two fists into the air (often accompanied by some self motivational talk). Basically anything that forces you to open up across your body (scared and weedy people shrink down and want to take up less space in a room). This is basically you tricking yourself into not feeling nervous - your body language affects your thoughts and your thoughts affect how you move your body! Now, fast forward 20 interviews, or 20 presentations... if you have power posed every single time before doing these, you're going to have brought the level of worry and anxiety down to a minimum. You probably don't even need to power pose any more because you are unconsciously competent. You've eliminated the fear (fear is always unneccessary unless it is a life or death situation/something immediately affecting your body).
Basically, people can see it. I would like to bet there was a big change to see especially when comparing the group pictures- the first maybe he's shrinking away into the group, not looking too comfortable with the camera, maybe an uncomfortable smile? And in the updated version you'd see maybe him taking up more space, more comfortable eye contact, shoulders down and away from the ears (no need to protect the neck or body even with the hands), and just just looking more like an alpha in general.
Zepode1 5y ago
By assuming that lifting didn’t help you’re missing the #2 reason men need to lift, confidence. It builds muscle, T levels, and therefore confidence.
Sure he might have been able to pull this off without a year of lifting, but there’s a reason TRP loves to lift. If you’re not a believer in lifting, you’re not lifting.
Tarkakabhai 5y ago
Lifting is good, but will it help smaller framed guys in building aesthetics.
Guardian_of_Justice 5y ago
No no no, lifting makes you a frame- big, square and strong
Zepode1 5y ago
It helps every type of framed guy build aesthetics. There is absolutely zero reason not to lift. Lifting pushes up your T levels and makes you look good. This makes you confident.
If you have the mentality of “I’m short so it’s not even worth it” you are only failing yourself. I know a guy who’s about 5’ 5” is ugly, has had facial surgery for a cleft lip and is quite bald at 26 but still pulls chicks when we go out.
Go lift.
Tarkakabhai 5y ago
I do swimming and calisthenics.
Tarkakabhai 5y ago
I am not short in my country just have 6 inch wrist.
Seven_Veils 5y ago
Excellent write-up! I like your style brother
tempolaca 5y ago
I'm a short guy and most of my GF were taller. Taller girls are easier than short girls IHMO.
xNightly 5y ago
I don't know where you're from but I can safely say it's the exact same in England. Shorter girls usually have the "princess" attitude and feel entitled whereas taller ones are more relaxed.
drty_pr 5y ago
A woman who is over 6" has it as bad if not worse than a guy who is 5.5"
tempolaca 5y ago
Way worse because she have no time. Her SMV always decrease, manlet's SMV only increase, if little.
[deleted] 5y ago
Yeah. They are used to guys being shorter than them, and you stand out very easily when you are not intimidated by that fact. How short are we talking?
Tarkakabhai 5y ago
What is wrist size? I have tiny wrist.
tempolaca 5y ago
1.70m not super short but manlet.
Merwebb 5y ago
We are just above the median in latin america mi amigo
[deleted] 5y ago
Manlets unite. Lets stand up short and be proud of our proportions and insertions that makes our bodies look more muscular and more filled out and our dicks look bigger
Guardian_of_Justice 5y ago
Aye can agree with
It is a good illusion. Although, i usually relish at the thought that my dick is really big when i get compliments from girls about it.
artificialfather 5y ago
My last LTR was a 1,80cm girl, I’m 168cm. After having someone whose tits are in front of my face, literally, height stopped being so intimidating for me.
[deleted] 5y ago
My goal is to fuck a girl who is 185cm+
HeavenlyMystery 5y ago
As a fellow brother, I say Amen!
Tarkakabhai 5y ago
Manlets with thin wrists are doomed.
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Scheme00 5y ago
Sex in sweden is like taking candy from babies. Cheers to you for acting like a normal man, most men in sweden are not masculine. Been to stockholm about 5 times and loved every minute of it. Mycket Bra!
Morphs_ 5y ago
Really? I thought Sweden was quite difficult because people are more closed off towards strangers, so the only way to have success with women is through mutual social circles ("friend game").
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Morphs_ 5y ago
Ah good to read that, thanks
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KebabKoobideh 5y ago
This was basically a lesson in TRP and Swedish Tackar min brother
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Heizenbrg 5y ago
Checkout GZPL, I recently started lifting again and I like it
Wolveryn 5y ago
For those that are new to lifting, it should be pointed out that the only attitude you shalt have is lift until you're muscles are failing, sweat until you're at breaking point... and then eat boiled eggs, spinach and protein shake it once a day. Salad for lunch 5 times a week.... drink loads of water. Track your progress, I use JEFit or The Workout List app for tracking.
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pnzndltn 5y ago
How do you respond to them? I'm 5'6 and not very good when confronted on my height face to face (I act unfazed, but don't really have anything to say). Tips?
Sir_Distic 5y ago
I'm also 5'6" I usually respond with "We're both the same height laying down." It smashes that shit test and also invokes a sexual nature.
Basically anything that implies "I'm cool with my height."
"I'm taller in my high heels." is also good too. Just don't take her seriously.
pnzndltn 5y ago
Lol those are good. My problem is I let myself get off balanced when it happens, so it's harder to have that attitude in the moment. I'm still trying to internalize that mentality of keeing it light and not taking the person seriously, but definitely making progress from where I used to be ( getting visibly upset). Thanks man.
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Sir_Distic 5y ago
Exactly. Even no reply with a laugh is better than "NO I'M NAWT!"
Scandinavianredpill 5y ago
5.10-5.11 here, same stats as you (bulked, but lean compared to normal nonlifters and most gym goers). My height has never been a problem for me, even though people seem to become higher and higher. People always have excuses for themselves.
VoidInvincible 5y ago
What pictures did you use for your improved profile? Any shirtless ones?
tobular 5y ago
He mentions a shirtless candid photo
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Heizenbrg 5y ago
Jesus Christ height issues are real over there huh?
That's a good challenge to see how well I'd do over there, and I'm a 5'7' mediterranean dude.
In fact, do these super tall vikining women enjoy the company of us smaller charming southern folks?
Guardian_of_Justice 5y ago
Let me guess... lebanese? Spanish? Or... croatian???
[deleted] 5y ago
Height issues are not real here, they are mostly isolated to tinder and the occasional shittest from women who are attracted to you and want to test your frame. Mediterranean dudes are sought after, you would have no problems. Plus there are shorter Swedish women
rand0m0mg 5y ago
It is a bit more complicated than ”mediterranean dudes are sought after” since there is no real lack of darkish men. It is more about masculinity - both physically and mentally(and honestly i’ve noticed politically).
argcisman 5y ago
Nicely executed and good job on the self improvement. You just gave another Swede proof that this life is actually doable here.
[deleted] 5y ago
Ofcourse it is doable min broder, varför would it inte be doable here?
donkeydodo 5y ago
I agree on your statement, 'why wouldn't it be doable here' logically, but somewhere along the line I feel like the majority of swedish girls are kind of stuck up in a way. I don't have any problem flirting with girls in Sweden, but relatively to other countries I've been to it feels like girls are much easier to get in bed. Maybe it's because those girls might have been on vacation, thus dripping (locals are still easier than swedish locals), or maybe it's a part of the swedish culture to be stuck up. Anyhow, this just makes swedish girls funnier to flirt with since it's harder (imo). Bra tråd!
rand0m0mg 5y ago
Jag tycker that Swedish is generally a svårt language to flirt in, mycket of it has to do with the prevalence of americansk kulture in vardagen and the fact that de flesta hade nog föredragit att snacka about sexuella saker in english.. swenska sounds too hederligt och för att dugligt uttrycka idéer och känslor hade krävt användandet av avancerad svenska vilket kan låta lite gammalmodigt ..
Tycker minsann att svenska språket can do a comeback - för mycket swagpoints för att tala gangster-svenska/blatte-svenska vilket är svårt att kombinera med ett rikt ordförråd
alphasaif 5y ago
Awesome FR my man.Learnt a lot of awesome TRP content.Lifting and Frame control are what gets you laid Everytime
norcalguy510 5y ago
Post your shirtless pic. Mine is a bathroom selfie, and id say it was a success at first(7-12 matches a week) but lately im hardly getting 5 a week. Need some advice
rand0m0mg 5y ago
It is about ELO rating - you may be swiping too much
askmrcia 5y ago
Unless you pay for the extra shit, the app withhold alot of your matches.
G4RRETT 5y ago
do you have a source for this?
askmrcia 5y ago
its common sense. why else would they offer service for your profile to be seen more or for you to see all your matches?
G4RRETT 5y ago
They offer service for your profile to appear near the top of the deck for other people and for you to see who liked you in advance.
I’ve never heard of them withholding people you’ve matched with because you don’t pay though..
askmrcia 5y ago
On both tinder and Bumble it clearly tells you that you have matches and if you want to see them right away then you need to pay for tinder gold.
These dating apps are no different then any other freemium phone app. They give you good things when you first start but if you want the rewards right away then you need to pay.
They definitely hold matches because why the hell would they want guys to keep matching with women for free? How would they make money?
This includes coffee meets bagel and Okcupid as well. I can't speak for the others, but those two also hold your matches or your profile won't be seen until weeks in advance unless you pay.
Alpha_Jedi 5y ago
Great write up. It's amazing how a little work over a long period of time can payout huge rewards. Keep it up. Cheers.
redpilledcuck 5y ago
I haven't learned anything from this other than Swedish women are superficial whores. If they actually like you for a shirtless pic after 1 year of lifting they want nothing more than a sex toy. Gj anyway, though.
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suddenlysnowedinn 5y ago
The way you flipped the height discussion on her was nothing short of masterful. Well done, sir. You’ve learned a lot in a year and a half!
AnonymousADC 5y ago
A guy told me that 5x5 is bad,is it true?
GEAR_IN_THE_REAR 5y ago
How can it be bad?
In my opinion, it's not great and shouldn't be used for too long. But it's a great way to get started.
AnonymousADC 5y ago
What do you think should be next workout routine after 5x5 and what's the maximum time (1 year?) you can take 5x5
GEAR_IN_THE_REAR 5y ago
Start out with 5x5 for min 6 mon to 1 year. And move into something else.
Something with hypertrophy. 5x5 is Stronglifting, good for starting out making the "beginner gains". But after that, you should use that strength to increase your aesthetics.
Preferably a bodybuilding program, I prefer PPL (Push - Pull - Legs) programs. There are both Powerlifting and Bodybuilding variations, so you can easily find something that fits your goals.
Good place to start is "Coolcicada's Push/Pull/Legs Routine".
alchamest 5y ago
I was doing Stronglifts 5x5 for a good 6-8 months, Honestly i loved the way it works, simple. I could focus on only a few movements and really concentrate on the technique. How long to do it for? eh it depends. I would say stick it out for minimum 3 months. you can add extra exercise if you want some extra variety. IMO It will build you a useable core strength. Aesthetically i don't think it can do what a body building program can, but i chose to focus on core first, now i am still keeping these compound lifts and adding some body building stuff.
I personally think it is a great program for a beginner , im heaps happy with the results i got from it.
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[deleted] 5y ago
Quick question, what does AFC stand for?
[deleted] 5y ago
Average Frustrated Chump. Read the sidebar.
[deleted] 5y ago
Thought it meant average fat cunt but that works too
alchamest 5y ago
You must be from Australia if you automatically translated it to average fat cunt
fridgefucker12 5y ago
Mods can we change it to this
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TheRealEtherion 5y ago
Nice read. TY for the report. I'm shorter btw but I know it helps to get fit and maintain stronger frame.
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Merwebb 5y ago
Only if you present your ego as a target
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FreshDumbledoreMC 5y ago
Don't waste your life time reading this post.
Just match every girl and sort out later.