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- Hide Preview | 309 Comments | submitted 2 months ago by whatsthisgarg [Post Locked]

Long-term relationships are can be a great thing. The adoration you can get in a LTR is much more intense than with a casual partner. Ideally, there should be a lot less hassle and a lot more high-quality sex. It doesn't always turn out like that, it seems, because a lot of guys are adopting the wrong model.

How many millions of times have you seen (or been) the guy who gets into what looks like a good LTR, and then gets complacent and neglects the things that made him a fun, attractive person? And then starts overcompensating by spending all his time and energy on the girl, who gets bored and bitchy and then cheats and/or leaves?

This is why all these jerks keep chanting the defeatist cuck mantra She's not yours, it's just your turn. If you accept this, you have thrown in the towel. Go ahead and let some little girl decide the terms and when and under what circumstances the relationship continues or ends.

 

Here's a model for how to avoid that and still garner the benefits of the LTR without the drawbacks:

ALYAS. Act Like You Are Single.

Forget all that garbage you read in the usual posts about how to do LTRs: a humorless list of rules, virtual mate-guarding, and cyber-stalking the woman, all of which indicates a pointless investment of time and energy, which in turn implies an emotional investment which itself is a powder-keg of disappointment when the relationship inevitably ends.

 

ALYAS: Act Like You Are SingleNo that's dumb, we don't need anymore acronyms. But it does roll right off the tongue, doesn't it?

 

There are very simple reasons for recommending this strategy. First, you maintain attractiveness. It's not a consensus view but my experience has been that women's sexual preferences are stable over time, meaning what attracted her in the first place will continue to attract her. Secondly, by acting like you are single you will create more attraction via mystery and dread. And third, it's just fun. That's why you were doing those things when you were single. Keep doing what you were doing.

 

For the autists and bloopers, I did not say "Pretend you are single." You can't make phone calls to other girls with her right there. You can't leave her at a bar and go off with some other girl. Have some human decency. You can't go home reeking of strange pussy. Although I have done that. But you need to be sure you can hit the shower real quick. (Also take charge of your own laundry. Don't be a babyman who expects his mommy/wife to wash his underwear.)

I don't mean this to be necessarily 100% all-in. You will not likely get the benefits of the LTR, which are substantial, by being completely aloof and unavailable. But you can take this as literally as you like, see how much she puts up with it, or wind it back a bit. Whatever works. At a minimum, acting like you are single should be your mindset.

This means don't stop hitting the gym, that's the first thing. But also don't stop doing all those good things you did when you were single. You want to hit the bars or go camping with your buddies, do it. You have solo projects, do them.

And, if you want to spend the entire weekend alone with her fucking like rabbits, getting room service and watching cable, do that; that is something you would do if you were single and you had a woman up for it.

When she asks "I'm going to visit my sister; come with?" you say "Have fun. I've got shit to do here."

This is not a hypothesis that I dreamed up and want to try out. This is how I have lived for decades. And yes, a quality woman will not only tolerate it, but she prefers it.

 

A word about ordinary human emotions: there is such a thing as mutual infatuation; it's a wonderful feeling (did not prevent me from fucking other women, though, which is a beautiful inoculation against losing your head). That can turn into what you might experience as love and devotion. I recommend cautiously indulging in it, if the opportunity presents itself, because it's fun. But know that it doesn't last forever.

 

You can enjoy this without the emotional investment that is so dangerous. You realize that she is actually not special. She is replaceable. You will also most likely notice that you are the one creating all the fun and excitement. She's just along for the ride, and to enhance the experience, as long as she behaves and you're not sick of her. This is my model for a long-term relationship.


I will now field questions from the peanut gallery.

Question: If you're supposed to Act Like You Are Single, what's the woman there for?

The woman is there to get fucked in the many hundreds of ways that a sexually creative man can think of. And she's there to be fun, pleasant, and interesting, which is possible despite all the rumors. Also, if you want to have kids, the woman is generally required at some point in that process.


Question: So you're saying Act Like You Are Single in the early stages of a relationship, but then when it starts looking real, you get serious?

No, that is not what I'm saying. I'm saying Act Like You Are Single while she gets serious. What she does shouldn't affect you, and if she doesn't like it, she can walk.


Question: So, Act Like You Are Single through the middle stages of a relationship, but if you decide to move forward and live together, then you start acting like a couple?

No! Living together is when you need to Act Like You Are Single the most. You need to get out of the house, stay busy, and create mystery. And if you weren't acting like you were single before moving in together, you might find it difficult to switch it up after.


Question: Okay, so Act Like You Are Single when you're living together, but then when the kids come along, you have to settle down, right?

Wrong again. Let me tell you just how extreme this can be: Act Like You Are A Single Father. Take the kids, go to the library, go to the park, kick around in the woods, go visit the other kids and their hot moms. When mommy comes home, have dinner, and then it's YOUR time. Do whatever you want, go to your workshop, to your office, leave the house, go to a buddy's house, to the gym, to a bar, go see another woman, whatever. It's that easy.


Question: What if she wants to act like SHE is single?

Not a candidate for a LTR. That is just a woman you are fucking.


Question: How do you keep HER from cheating on you?

You can't stop her. Stop trying, and stop caring.

(Cue up the MGTOW Tabernacle Choir, singing A Mighty Fortress Is Our Cuck. Guys, I don't care, I really don't. You don't have to play, but I have had my fun.)

You can never be absolutely certain, but if you aren't 95% sure that she adores you and is devoted to you, then that relationship will not make it past the one-year mark. And if you're STILL worried about being cheated on: you didn't invest anything in her, did you?

(Cue up the Crab Bucket Chorus, singing Divorce Rape and Half Your Assets Brah! I don't care about that either. Nobody said get married, and if you're worried about the money, NO woman in your life should last longer than a few years, to avoid common-law claims.)


Last question: So, basically Alpha Fucks, on a long-term basis?

Yes. My experience is that women don't really care about money as long as you are a stud, and, as I've said many times, the need for comfort is really way overstated on TRP.

To be protected from the hard edges of life and to have fun is all women really want. If they want more, I really do not care.

[-] AnyDoughnut 1 Point 2 months ago

I am too lazy and uninterested to read the entire post, but the large bolded sentence is all that you really need to know. Always act as though you are single is very accurate. Familiarity and closeness breeds boredom and causes sexual tension to dissipate. The more time you spend around your LTR the less sexual tension there will be. Her competition anxiety evaporates if you make the mistake of living together, and even worse, if you spend most of your time together.

A relationship metric I have always used to get a feel of how the relationship is going is the frequency in which I am getting oral. If the bjs stop happening you know you are getting too familiar and comfortable and have to peel back the attention you are giving her so that she has a healthy dose of competition anxiety.

I have been in an LTR for about 10 years, and I do also spin a limited number of plates on the side. I find having at least 1 plate on the side allows me to retain an independent mindset and behavior, which actually keeps my LTR running smoothly. To keep her happy and well behaved she has to think you are capable of cheating or possibly even be cheating, but if she actually finds out you are cheating then the relationship can quickly go south.

[-] 5ubstanc3 1 Point 2 months ago

Okay I have a kinda weird case... i’m 18 and i met this girl a month ago who is almost 21 now, when we first met my energy and focus was more towards myself, and i guess she liked that so we kind of connected, talked a lot and had similar personalities, at the time i felt like i was in my prime and nothing could effect me, the way i flowed with this girl without a hint of nervousness or awkwardness. The way you explained acting single, for like the first two weeks of us meeting thats all i could do. But then the feelings came, and i feel like i’ve been slowly losing my frame since. coincidently around the time i met her i had just quit my job, had spent the last of my money, and had to cancel my gym membership (I WAS FUCKING PISSED). i haven’t worked out in over a month and i feel like the timing couldn’t be worse, but this girl claims and seems like she is very invested into me. I feel as if i’m losing my touch, due to multiple things not working out for me while also picking up this girl who i (may) have feelings for. The point of all of this was to ask: is it possible for me to be able to act like im single again without her feeling as if im trying to pull away? Or should i not even worry about that and just do my own thing and get back in the gym and keep working. i can tell im slowly going into a down spiral getting caught up in feelings

[-] chazthundergut 2 Points 2 months ago

"what attracted her in the first place will continue to attract her."

Very true.

The lioness detests the lion's long fangs and sharp claws. She will beg and plead and seduce him until he gets rid of them.

But the moment he loses his fangs and claws, she can no longer feel attracted to him.

Never lose your edge

[-] cantstopper 2 Points 2 months ago

This post paints all women with the same brush. Once you meet the "right one," you won't need to do this garbage and can dedicate yourself to her (and she to you) 100%.

OP's post makes me think he settles with sluts who are not worth his time investment in the first place.

[-] GorillaFingerprint 1 Point 2 months ago

Timely advice for me thanks. I've been with this girl for 11 months and started to relax control over my time recently. This was a good reminder. I told her I was golfing and drinking with my friends again this weekend (did the same last weekend) she called me tonight to nag about it. I read this article hours earlier. I stood strong over the phone and after keeping it up for 10minutes she was apologizing for being clingy for the rest of the call.

[-] whatsthisgarg 2 Points 2 months ago

Good stuff! Keep it up.

I should maybe repost some stuff about "don't be afraid to have a woman be mad at you." My top advice for you guys.

[-] a_crapybara 1 Point 2 months ago

This is so incredibly convoluted and unrealistic that it makes me wonder if you've ever been in a real LTR. There's good advice here, but the overall post is one giant compromise between some RP fundamentals and feel-good dating advice.

[-] [deleted] 3 Points 2 months ago

[deleted]

[-] whatsthisgarg 2 Points 2 months ago

Bro, you have been one of my favorite commenters for a long time. I have talked you up to the mods. They say "yeah, we're watching him." But where are your submitted posts?

You should have stopped reading when it was clear this was about LTRs. If you think that's impossible I don't even know why you replied to the post.

The fact is, the VAST majority of dudes reading this will end up in LTRs. It's just what happens in the real world. And then they will fuck it up sooner rather than later, because they had no guidance. It's just as simple as that, and that is why I write posts about LTRs.

Chicks get bored, they take you for granted and always find some way to fuck it all up. Like clockwork.

Yeah, and all men are rapists. I can't take any of that hyperbole seriously.

If you want regular sex, getting into a commitment is one of the dumbest fucking strategies for it ever.

So fucking many dudes on TRP are talking like "commitment" is a thing, like a ceremony or contract or sworn oath or something. It's not. It's only her perception of your availability to her or to other women. You most definitely can control that.

Let me just say right here, I don't want "regular" sex, I want stellar mind-blowing sex, and I'm having so much more of it with so much less effort than ANY of my single friends. OTOH I'm having more of it than my married friends, so that's a wash.

When did it go from "It's Just Your Turn" to "It's Your Turn But You Can Make It Really Long And Even Really Cool Too!"

I'll tell you what, the last time it was "My Turn With Her" was when I was 19, and fucking teenager. Since then, it's been "Her Turn With Me." I call the shots.

The raw violation over and over of the sidebar for this

Show me where it says that. I see "Discussion of sexual strategy" I don't see "Discussion of ONS only" or "Discussion of no LTR ever" or "Discussion of prostitutes when you get old." You can do anything you want.

You aren't a rock star, you aren't an astronaut

Actually, I am a rock star. And I was almost an astronaut, until my eyesight started to go.

If you can't tell, I enjoyed the shit out of your comment, looking forward to more.

[-] LiveAFTSOV 1 Point 2 months ago

When did it go from "It's Just Your Turn" to "It's Your Turn But You Can Make It Really Long And Even Really Cool Too!"

It hasn't. I always praise black culture for this:

Have a main bitch you love, with many side hoes you love fucking.

A girl who is around often you get along with, more for companionship, and acouple other hoes for pre-selection... threesomes/foursomes... social proof, and for dread.

Don't get married - have long fulfilling relationships that are held together by freedom, not law / obligation. Spend years together cus you enjoy it and it benefits you, not cus society says.

If the LTR dumps you, or you dump her, WHO CARES - you still have your plates. One of them will step up to be your new LTR that's how it works.

LTRs can last for years, and remember, main chick, side hoes. Just dont get the government involved by getting married.

[-] BloodMossHunter 1 Point 2 months ago

ITT: Virgins without LTR's.

Go move in together and live for a couple of years, then try acting like you're single.

[-] flibbitythrowaways 1 Point 2 months ago

tbh I've found TRP content to be pretty accurate for short term relationships, new relationships, dating advice. but as soon as you get into the territory of a LTR it all breaks down, probably partly because some of the people creating content haven't been in any (by choice or not), but partly because by that point it's impossible to generalize your personal relationship.

[-] Scandinavianredpill 2 Points 2 months ago

Quality content, so far between these days on TRP. mature and well taught out, without being dogmatic.

I agree wholeheartedly with what you are saying here, it's irrational to fear a relationsship with a woman if you truly just enjoy it and don't fear losing her at all (because you know you are in demand, and because she is totally into you).

[-] DeeplyDisturbed1 1 Point 2 months ago

I have always tried to act the same while in a relationship as I do when single. It is not exactly the same, but close. This makes life easy and gives my women a sense of ease knowing that I do not change much (holding frame starts with this).

The key difference is the nature of my relationships with other women when I am committed to one - I do not mess around.

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 2 months ago

Good text.

Exactly as I was doing, and I am doing now.

Before I was doing it, because women I was dating were good but not compatible with my personality or mine aims in life - it wanted sex on constant basis. Of course, my behaviour somehow diminished their passion in the terms of feeling they are in commited relationship.

Now I am in compatible relationship, yet, I have big portions of actiong like I am single, as I know women's nature, and I need to have my freedom to be creative and feel good, also I love to keep my mind sharp, by approaching and talking to other women too.

Wonderful thing is, they tend to be even more attracted, when they realize I am in the relationship.

Funny, eh?

[-] zdenipeni 42 Points 2 months ago

The lowest of the Beta males are the ones that leave their bros whenever they get some a girlfriend , stop going out with them, reduce all contact and when the girls leaves them they act like nothing ever happened

[-] lopsidedlucky 1 Point 2 months ago

This needs to be higher. I'm often surprised how often faux alpha's disappear when they get a new women. Then when you see them again it's clear they're in her frame.

Some even believe their in charge and she's absolutely in love with him. Then I have a little chat with her away from everyone and the flirting starts and she falls in my frame almost every time.

Faux alpha's are some of the easiest targets for aware women.

edit: added a word

[-] dryenz 2 Points 2 months ago

Why not be single instead of acting like single

[-] CasaDeFranco 1 Point 2 months ago

Because this way you can cheat on your partner because that's alpha. /s

[-] BootySmackahah 2 Points 2 months ago

Once. But I've always ended things with the girl cause I got bored, complacent and attracted by other girls.

Screw me, I'm chubby, short and decent looking. But I stand my ground. If I'm gonna cheat, ill have the decency to call it off first.

[-] RaovacAAA 14 Points 2 months ago

pro tip: if you have to go home reeking of strange pussy, then stop at a gas station and spill some gasoline on your pants first, so that when you get home you will reek of gasoline and have a good reason to take a shower.

[-] ghetto_tuesdays 3 Points 2 months ago

Brotha your digging in some stank ????

[-] BootySmackahah 1 Point 2 months ago

The guys from Motley Crue used to wipe their dicks with hotdog buns after fucking whores and going back to their girlfriends.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] whatsthisgarg 2 Points 2 months ago

pro tip: if you have to go home reeking of strange pussy, then stop at a gas station and spill some gasoline on your pants first, so that when you get home you will reek of gasoline and have a good reason to take a shower.

Fuck that is funny, and believe it or not, I actually did something very similar once! Went through the garage first and got some paint thinner! LOL

[-] pm_me_your_pk 25 Points 2 months ago

> Cue up the MGTOW Tabernacle Choir, singing A Mighty Fortress Is Our Cuck

Oh god I snorted my coffee

Also, this is good advice for MRP (comfort tests notwithstanding). She fell in love with me for a reason. As long as I don't let myself become someone I hate, she won't hate me either. I don't know why some dudes on here are anxiety ridden little fear monsters. She's not going to cheat on you if a) she's not a piece of shit and b) you don't turn into a boring loser.

​

It's soooo easy to keep a woman hooked on the fantasy of you, even after 15 years of marriage.

​

I was at a party a few months ago. My buddy's wife asked where her husband was. He'd already gone upstairs to help his daughter with something. Upon hearing this she flopped over against the car and said "I'm so tired, if he was down here he would carry me upstairs," because he's a powerful, intense, but loving man. She adores and respects that man. After kids and years of marriage he might as well be her daddy. Contrast that with my other buddy whose girlfriend, after only two years of living together, talks to him like he's a shitty child, because he fucking is.

​

People act like LTR's are TRP on hard mode. Bullshit. LTR's are hard for fucking losers who are with low quality women.

[-] lopsidedlucky 1 Point 2 months ago

You have no idea how many men here have said what you just said.

People act like LTR's are TRP on hard mode. Bullshit. LTR's are hard for fucking losers who are with low quality women.

Many of these men come back to TRP when their unicorn turns out to be another hypergamous chick. Wait until you're sick for a prolonged period of time or lose your job and have to tighten the belt for just a little bit longer than is comfortable. They're AWALT for a reason.

There are lower quality women but in general AWALT is always true and that's why A stands for "all". You can have 15 years and 6 kids. It does not matter. You need to wake up.

[-] reluctantly_red 1 Point 2 months ago

She's not going to cheat on you if a) she's not a piece of shit and b) you don't turn into a boring loser.

Unless she finds a better option. Women are always looking to upgrade. My ex-wife is marrying a millionaire in November. The guy's Beta AF but he's loaded.

[-] whatsthisgarg 15 Points 2 months ago

People act like LTR's are TRP on hard mode. Bullshit. LTR's are hard for fucking losers who are with low quality women.

Hell yeah. I have always thought that. Seems like the "hard" part about LTRs is the worrying and the controlling, and if you just drop that shit, IE drop the "hard" parts, it's not hard at all.

[-] raging_mongoose 6 Points 2 months ago

Does setting boundaries counts as controlling / worrying ?

My ltr of over a year now is in love with me, pays stuff for me, cleans, cooks and does the laundry without me asking her to do so just because she wants me to rest sometimes.

I believe fully that she is not planning on branch swinging or cheat on my back right now, though seeing how women can get hijacked by their feelings in a split of a second, i still think she could cheat given the right situation (alcohol, me not being there, no friend of hers/mine to notice and ruin her reputation...)

Thats why I explicitly put up boundaries like not going to bars with her friends when im not here.

Is that too controlling ? I dont mind cutting her off but in my mind if you want to go in a bar without me where sex and alcohol is free for women then my trust in you is going to lower a lot.

First relationship, not thinking shes a unicorn but there is certainly dread towards what she can do when im not around.

I dont mind breaking up if it has to be done but after seeing how women with bf can be (giving the fuck me eyes even though their bf is next to them) it kinda destroyed my ability to be confident in women not cheating.

Any advice ?

[-] sleepyinbk 7 Points 2 months ago

Damn you're paranoid. When a dude is that paranoid and controlling it's like you're just inviting a lady to step out. Do you expect her to tag-a-long every time you hang out with guy friends? Creeping up behind to make sure you don't ever look at another woman? Or are you in some sort of couples-only activities bizarro world of eventual doom?

The thing you eventually realize is that everyone gives strangers the fuck you eyes once in a while. That shit is fun. I've never cheated on a girlfriend (being the other man is another story) but I'd be lying if I said I'd never eye-fucked another chick when I was wasted. It's hard to keep that under control forever. It slips. She never cheated on me. I could smell her fear and lies!

​

I'm sure my girl has leered at some dude she thought was hot. Whatever. No big deal. As long as she doesn't fuck other dudes it's like whatever. Who cares. What I don't witness in this regard doesn't hurt me. As long as a girl is loyal and you can trust her, let her enjoy her man-candy the same we enjoy hot chicks at the bar. Sure I'd be a jealous bitch if I absolutely knew she was making a habit of it or if she did it around me. That would piss me off. But absolutely no flirty looks at the opposite sex ever while having a night out with your pals? How boring.

​

If just the idea of her looking at some dude she would fuck while single and appreciating that for herself momentarily truly gives you pause, you gotta get real. Men and women are the same in one regard. Just because we're not out there fucking other people doesn't mean it'll absolutely never cross our minds. You've never gotten into playful argument about the one DTF woman she would have to make an exception for if you were miraculously given the chance? I guess this would suck if her hypothetical cheating pass dude looked totally opposite you in every way and she went out of her way to rub your face in it. Otherwise who cares. Taking everything too seriously is a bummer.

​

Is the idea of her cheesing at one dude over the course of a significant LTR an absolute deal breaker? Get real. We all would be up for a little strange now and then. Doesn't mean looking at someone makes you a cheater.

On the other hand, banning her from going out to bars/clubs without you could be a very possible unconscious sign that you're really not into this chick and that you're not very confident as regards to the volatility of the relationship. If you feel like you need an excuse to break up, do favor for her (and you) - just end things. Unless you have true alpha swag I don't see shutting ladies night down this completely going well.

​

blahblah TLDR let her perv out with her lady friends once in a while. it's good for the sex life!

​

I mean the reason I'd look forward to her going out was the surprise wake up for sex after I passed out. I mean it was totally because I am just that fine a piece of ass and she could not resist disturbing my slumber. Of course it was!! But if one of the times that happened it was after she ran into some Chris Hemsworth looking bro on the subway and it got her feeling frisky, oh well. IDGAF. Just happy for the wake up sex. No need to feel like you're taking advantage of a drunk chick if she's the one peeling your boxers off and you've been dating for years. Who gives a fuuuuuck

​

holy fuck that is a wall of text

[-] whatsthisgarg 2 Points 2 months ago

Thats why I explicitly put up boundaries like not going to bars with her friends when im not here. Is that too controlling ?

The proof of it being too controlling is if it makes her want to do it. OR, if it makes her think you are weak and insecure for trying to tell her what to do. know what I'm saying?

Check my submitted history; at least half my posts are about boundaries.

[-] sleepyinbk 2 Points 2 months ago

this is an interesting angle.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] [deleted] 7 Points 2 months ago

Found the brigade leader, right here.

[-] Prison4SideofBeef 1 Point 2 months ago

I hope you all realize this is bullshit dreamt up by some sad perma-virgin. While you should continue doing the things you enjoy and pursue your individual interestsa major element of being a couple is going to events together, even if you don't want to. That's called being a fucking adult, not some awkward flirty teenager. I can also guarantee that any woman with even an ounce of self-respect will leave you if you flirt with other people, much less cheat.

wrong on both of your guarantees.

I can also guarantee that any woman with even an ounce of self-respect will leave you if you flirt with other people

It actually just turns most girls on more.

[-] Sir-Scog 0 Points 2 months ago

Really buddy? Is that what does it for you, seeing your chick pawing at another dude?

[-] Prison4SideofBeef 9 Points 2 months ago

Really buddy? Is that what does it for you, seeing your chick pawing at another dude?

It's not a turn on for me, but I'm not a woman. Men and women are attracted to different things, believe it or not.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] Prison4SideofBeef 2 Points 2 months ago

triggered

You sound like a science denier who is rejecting the biological fact that men and women are different.

[-] Sir-Scog -2 Point 2 months ago

We have different degrees of hormones at stages of our embryonic development, that's it.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] [deleted] 4 Points 2 months ago

It actually just turns most girls on more.

Preselection, etc. Very, very true.

Major brigading going on right now. Damned shame.

[-] Celicni 1 Point 2 months ago

This entire fucking thread should be purged, like what the fuck, I see so many moralizing comments with many upvotes, and normal nuggets of TRP truth downvoted.

[-] NeedingAdvice86 1 Point 2 months ago

Fan fiction to spark the jealousy of newbies so that they start dreaming about "the life" they could have if they can just implement that last nugget of TRP truth.

[-] captainsadness1010 4 Points 2 months ago

even if you don't want to. That's called being a fucking adult, not some awkward flirty teenager

its nice to have a reminder of reality in this thread. you can get so caught up in reading the good-sounding concept of a post without realizing that reality isn't always TRP

[-] whuttupfoo 9 Points 2 months ago

I can also guarantee that any woman with even an ounce of self-respect will leave you if you flirt with other people, much less cheat.

I can tell you’re theorizing and haven’t actually tested this hypothesis. This just isn’t true. It does the opposite and will increase her attraction toward you. Do you guys not read the sidebar? This is basic red pill 101. Women would rather share a high value man than be stuck with a low value beta male.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] whuttupfoo 2 Points 2 months ago

You’ve got a long way to go.

[-] Whisper 123 Points 2 months ago

+1.

Your woman is your follower, not your destination or your mission. Do the shit you were going to do with your life, and allow her to come along on the magical adventure if she carries her weight and is fun to travel with.

You can let yourself love her, but you must be willing to write that off, cut her lose, and keep any mourning short and internal if she becomes difficult or not-fun. You are Caesar conquering Gaul, not Caesar conquering some clam's fluffy little romantic dreams.

Do bend a little on the "no lists of rules" thing if she's into BDSM, though. (And if she's not, why the fuck are you with her?)

[-] atomictty 1 Point 2 months ago

Do bend a little on the "no lists of rules" thing if she's into BDSM, though.

I guess the key distinction here is that /you/ enjoy properly training your sub and that's why you do it, not because you think it's going to keep her around.

[-] whatsthisgarg 10 Points 2 months ago

+1.

The irony! I wrote this up months ago and just sat on it, because YOU said you were writing up an intensive LTR guide. I thought my post would be TRP heterodoxy.

You are Caesar conquering Gaul, not Caesar conquering some clam's fluffy little romantic dreams.

I had a laugh, thanks.

[-] Whisper 6 Points 2 months ago

The irony! I wrote this up months ago and just sat on it, because YOU said you were writing up an intensive LTR guide.

Guilty as charged. My to-do list is very, very long. I swear if I could figure out how to make a real living off this shit (not just a cheesy Patreonesque bitcoin tip jar that people still complained about), I could turn it into a full time job... I have that much half-finished material, idea outlines, etc. I could fill several books.

At least twice as much as I ever do here is spilled in disorganized rants for an audience of no one but FunSize, or Kitten, or FanGirl, or given as advice to individual people in PMs. Having the ideas doesn't take the time and energy, it's cleaning them up and making them presentable.

So anything you throw out there makes my not-a-job easier, because I can concentrate on the bits others haven't covered, and just hit what really needs to be hit, rather than everything that ever popped in to my head.

[-] HumanSockPuppet 3 Points 2 months ago

At least twice as much as I ever do here is spilled in disorganized rants for an audience of no one but FunSize, or Kitten, or FanGirl, or given as advice to individual people in PMs.

That was the worst part of your moving away. We used to talk late into the night, bounce a lot of ideas back and forth, and those conversations usually got me pumped to write articles.

Without anyone to talk to I mostly just answer occasional PMs and askTRP questions.

[-] Whisper 2 Points 2 months ago

Won't be forever, brother. I'm counting the months.

[-] HumanSockPuppet 3 Points 2 months ago

I'm still sitting on the outline for the comprehensive bitch management guide. Wanna nail down a solid structure so it's organized, flows logically, and we can finally nail it to the church door.

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 2 months ago

Wise words.

WOman IS your follower, and not the ultimate aim, or mission.

And she wants it to be like that.

She cant love, respect or follow the man who follows her or pedestalize her, by very hypergamic NATURE.

​

[-] linkschode 93 Points 2 months ago

I don’t agree with your post. Betraying someone is not okay.

Mutual trust and respect if you’re in a LTR is the key to its long term success.

Here’s some advice to all of you: no it’s not okay to come home reeking of strange pussy. That doesn’t mean taking a shower first is the solution, not betraying your LTR by fucking strange pussy in the first place is the solution.

If you cheat on your partner you’re a piece of untrustworthy shit, no better than the poison pussy we so often rally against here.

Still, I appreciate you taking the time to write the post, it was well written and a good read despite me not agreeing with all of it.

[-] lopsidedlucky 1 Point 2 months ago

Get your cucked moralizing ass the fuck out of TRP. If you want to be moral go right on ahead however, this is the last place for you to pass judgement on these men.

How in the hell has TRP sunken so fucking low that this guy spouts beta blue pill bullshit as gospel and the incels here upvote the beta.

[-] a_crapybara 2 Points 2 months ago

It's very sly and covert behavior. Feminine, really-- I agree.

[-] tbu987 5 Points 2 months ago

I think his point is keep the abundance mentality up. You should never feel that its your duty to put up with any bad behaviour from her. That way it keeps you from putting her on a padestal and eventually turning your relationship to shit. You dont want to turn into her pet at home you want to be the person in control. A man with options is a man in control. Doesnt mean you have to cheat just means you know her leaving you will not be the end of the world for you.

[-] 87_radscript 3 Points 2 months ago

But how do you become a "man with options" by going out there and flirting ..what woman is going to be okay with her bf flirting with other women??

[-] Isbjornsolo 3 Points 2 months ago

Most of them, so long as you don't openly cheat on them. Women want to be with a man thats desired by other women. The elusive Alpha Bucks.

To become a man of options takes time and work. Then its individualised for each man to be who he wants to be.

[-] 87_radscript 8 Points 2 months ago

So an LTR will be okay with you fucking other women as long as you're not doing it behind their back. And you expect a woman to stay faithful when her bf isn't?

Makes no sense.

Maybe only mentally unstable women could put up with that. Who wants that type of woman for LTR in the first place

[-] Isbjornsolo 0 Points 2 months ago

Some women will be ok with it. Most wont. It depends how you define the relationship. If women flirt with you in from of your gf/wife they see it as a massive ego boost that they get to go home with you. Then they will try and keep hold of you by doing want you want.

It doesn’t mean that shit tests etc stop, but they decrease.

I don’t expect women to stay faithful. That’s why you constantly have to dread, stay fun etc. Feels Uber alles and all that.

[-] 87_radscript 2 Points 2 months ago

I see what you mean, but if a girl flirts with my bf he gets an ego boost, not me though.

If a girl flirts with him and he does it back, there is almost for sure going to be an argument.

If a girl flirts with him and he totally ignores her I find him so much more attractive.

I can't be the only girl that feels this way..

[-] Isbjornsolo 1 Point 2 months ago

Your 1st and 3rd point are connected and as I see it two sides of the same coin.

You’re also on a forum for male sexual strategy so we’re going to advise what’s best for a man to get the life he wants.

Men generally won’t put up with their partner having physical relationships with others outside the relationships. Women generally won’t put up with public/emotional cheating in a relationship. Again due to the way our sexual strategies work from a biological point of view.

[-] Isbjornsolo 1 Point 2 months ago

Your 1st and 3rd point are connected and as I see it two sides of the same coin.

You’re also on a forum for male sexual strategy so we’re going to advise what’s best for a man to get the life he wants.

Men generally won’t put up with their partner having physical relationships with others outside the relationships. Women generally won’t put up with public/emotional cheating in a relationship. Again due to the way our sexual strategies work from a biological point of view.

[-] Isbjornsolo 1 Point 2 months ago

Your 1st and 3rd point are connected and as I see it two sides of the same coin.

You’re also on a forum for male sexual strategy so we’re going to advise what’s best for a man to get the life he wants.

Men generally won’t put up with their partner having physical relationships with others outside the relationships. Women generally won’t put up with public/emotional cheating in a relationship. Again due to the way our sexual strategies work from a biological point of view.

[-] Spizmack 7 Points 2 months ago

You went from flirting to fucking. You’re right most women don’t want their man to fuck other women. But all women, actually all people, want to be with a desirable partner.

Go out with a woman and get hit on. Casually flirt back. Whatever. I guarantee when you get home you’re getting some of the best sex you’ve ever had.

[-] ColdIceZero 28 Points 2 months ago

Mutual trust and respect if you’re in a LTR is the key to its long term success.

A quality relationship creates trust. Trust doesn't create a quality relationship.

A lot of people misunderstand the concept of trust. Trust is often confused with the term faith, as though trust means to believe in someone.

My brother is a great guy. I trust my brother to bring my truck back safely when he asks me to borrow it. He has demonstrated the ability to be responsible with taking care of my things, so I trust in his ability to continue to take care of my things.

But that doesn't mean he has the capability to all things. Despite being responsible with my truck, my brother is not a medical doctor, so I would not trust him to perform brain surgery on me.

Trust isn't a blank check. Trust isn't "all or nothing." You trust someone as a result of them demonstrating their ability to be trustworthy, but that doesn't mean they are trustworthy for all things.

Don't confuse your faith in them as being the same thing as them having the abilities you believe they should have.

Trust is saying "because of my history with this person, I can point to things that prove they are capable of doing <blank>."

Without being able to point to history to prove trustworthiness, what you're saying is "despite not having any evidence of this person's capability to do this thing, I total believe they can do it."

By definition, that isn't trust; that's faith.

[-] whuttupfoo 4 Points 2 months ago

Its only cheating if you agree to her request for sexual exclusivity. Which was an assumption on your part.

[-] TheRedPike -8 Point 2 months ago

Betraying someone is not okay.

Are we moralizing today?

[-] DrExtra 37 Points 2 months ago

So we complain about women not having honor and morals and now we stoop to their game doing the same lame shit and lies. Ok.....

[-] Jimmy_Greenteeth 10 Points 2 months ago

They don't have honour and morals so why should we? When I find myself treating my LTR pretty badly with all the dread game and such I start to feel guilty. Then I stop and think that if the balance of power was ever shifted in the relationship she would be doing the same exact thing to me and she would not be feeling guilty about it.

[-] DrExtra 10 Points 2 months ago

Because bro facepalm lol....at the end of the day you doing some female shit. If you gotta lie and do all this other shit just to play the game you playing the game like a female with feminine energy whether you know it or not. Are you a man or a woman? If you're a man....THEN ACT LIKE ONE. Dont stoop to their level doing their same booshit. Keep what makes you a man. Honor, pride and dignity. If a girl end up doing some weak ass cuthroat shit, THEN FUCK HER. You dont need her anyway. Keep your pride and move on....Its time we men stop acting like emotional ass hoes and stop worrying about us getting hurt and start pursuing their passions.

[-] bucSlayer -1 Point 2 months ago

Who the fuck are you to decide what a man is?

[-] DrExtra 2 Points 2 months ago

A REAL NIGGA THATS WHO CHUMP

[-] bucSlayer -1 Point 2 months ago

Nah, you’re just a white knight.

[-] TheRedPike -7 Point 2 months ago

Who is complaining?

[-] NeedingAdvice86 4 Points 2 months ago

TRP fanfiction...let is slide.....

A high value extraordinary man that was truly the mega-Chad behemoth of pussy slaying that had a swimsuit model wife cooking him beans and franks while he was out getting strange pussy smell on him WOULD NOT BE POSTING about it on reddit and a site about helping socially awkward STEM majors get a girl.

It is fanfiction to produce a heightened sense of jealousy in the usual suspects so that they can dream about what might happen in the future if they could just understand that last nugget of TRP truth.

Let it slide.

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[-] whatsthisgarg -3 Point 2 months ago

it’s not okay to come home reeking of strange pussy. That doesn’t mean taking a shower first is the solution

of all the comments here, this gave me the biggest laugh.

You don't want to cheat, then don't. Although, I have to say, I would have very deeply regretted NOT cheating. I had some good times with women I really cared about. Also it was a great inoculation against worrying about her cheating. I trust her about 85%, about the best you could hope for, and if I ever wonder "did she ever cheat on me?" instead of it eating me up inside, I just shrug it off and think "well, I cheated on her, so who cares."

The rest of your comment was also much appreciated, thanks.

[-] inferno1234 2 Points 2 months ago

I read this differently. Personally, I open my relationships. It doesn't change anything on the girl's part, she would cheat if she felt like it anyway. I do my job in being the best she can get, and she doesn't sleep around while I can do so without cheating.

Since we're already vetting before LTR, it also doesn't change much there. Openly polygamous women are plates at best anyway, so you can easily LTR a quality woman and have an essentially one sided open relationship give or take a slip (which would have happened in a closed relationship).

[-] bucSlayer -3 Point 2 months ago

Trust a woman? You’re funny, man.

[-] ThePantsThief 3 Points 2 months ago

Comments like these are why reddit thinks we're incels. Keep your trust issues to yourself, man.

[-] bucSlayer 1 Point 2 months ago

Why do you care what reddit thinks?

[-] ThePantsThief 1 Point 2 months ago

Because I like this subreddit and morons like you are what make everyone beg the admins to have it shut down. So kindly shut the fuck up with the cringey, incel-esque remarks.

[-] bucSlayer 1 Point 2 months ago

Bitch, are you on your period? Go eat some chocolate with your unicorn in your bluepill fantasy world.

[-] ramfex21 1 Point 2 months ago

What do you say to other women when they ask if you have a girlfriend?

[-] whatsthisgarg 1 Point 2 months ago

What do you say to other women when they ask if you have a girlfriend?

I have actually never been asked that. If I was I'd probably say something stupid like "I have lots of them."

[-] ramfex21 1 Point 2 months ago

Yea , if you say you have a girlfriend, I find women treat you differently. Although I recon many would be open to you cheating with them as long as you don’t make a big deal of it

[-] whatsthisgarg 1 Point 2 months ago

Yea , if you say you have a girlfriend, I find women treat you differently. Although I recon many would be open to you cheating with them as long as you don’t make a big deal of it

yeah, check this out, I didn't go into it, I just mentioned it, but female grad students don't care about your relationship status, they'll fuck you regardless

[-] lordkingalpha 153 Points 2 months ago

Well I wouldn't cheat because if I get in a LTR loyalty is a big thing in my life. But I completely understand what you are saying. Basically it's do exactly what you normally did with your life or were planning on before you met her. I agree with that she is more of a add on to your life. You should always continue working on your goals and live your life with or without her.

[-] reddick1 10 Points 2 months ago

Show loyalty to your male friends and they will respect it. Females will not respect your loyalty. You're doing that for yourself. If you want to have abundance mentality, the best way is to actually have abundance. If you have onegina, you are acting serious.

[-] SexdictatorLucifer 1 Point 2 months ago

If you want to show loyalty, make sure you're getting more out of her pussy than you would single. The second you aren't getting that, fuck another pussy. She'll quickly learn what it takes to retain your loyalty.

Something that stuck out to me Roosh's new book: "I don't care about who I get laid by, but I do care about getting laid."

A good mantra to remember during an LTR, especially if you're giving loyalty. Never not cheat because of some moral quandary. Not cheat because you're sexually satisfied. Trust me, she's following the same rule.

[-] lopsidedlucky 2 Points 2 months ago

Best underrated response right here.

[-] lordkingalpha 19 Points 2 months ago

People at the very top of the game have inner circles. Anyone that is in my circle I am loyal too that includes any woman LTR I allow in. You don't get out of my circle once you're in ,unless you show disloyalty. I am a king this is royalty shit get on my level.

[-] The_Noble_Lie 2 Points 2 months ago

Sounds like some Kendrick shit

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[-] Sapientan 17 Points 2 months ago

Take what you need and leave the rest, if it works but you don’t like to look at a certain way, then look at it a different way. I also don’t think women solely exist to make men happy; however, I see no other reason to choose an LTP. If she isn’t making you happy then why the hell would you continue? She may still be a human being, but she shouldn’t continue to be your partner.

[-] grey_clouds420 5 Points 2 months ago

Exactly. You should want to make the other person happy and vice versa but if it ain’t working it just ain’t. You shouldn’t need a whole damn rule book to finding someone that’s the shit that should just come naturally.

[-] albino_red_head 6 Points 2 months ago

And part of making HER happy here is literally acting like you're single. You reap rewards of sex and adoration, she reaps rewards of status and security. If you go into it thinking both genders need the same things to be happy then you'll have a bad time.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] [deleted] 2 Points 2 months ago

I am a woman and that does not sound like me at all.

Blatant violation of TRP rules to identify as a woman and think we give a fuck. Reported.

> There’s no need for games and strategy’s

Easy for you to say.

[-] sleepyinbk 0 Points 2 months ago

lol this is such a cheesy rule when the whole point of the sub is "I AM MAN HEAR ME ROARRRRR"

&#x200B;

those dastardly damsels can't take your manly rights away unless you're a total pushover dbag. GOD FORBID THEY SPEAK UP AS WOMEN IN THE FACE OF ALL THIS RED PILLING! You've never chimed in when some chick was going off the wall with some bullshit that irked you? So many double standards. Seems kind of odd to have a "safe space" for dudes when that sort of idea seems pretty much like one of those terrible feminist ideals y'all are parroting against.

&#x200B;

But what else is a site like this if people wig out just because some chick is like yo I am a chick?

&#x200B;

I guess inventing TRP lingo to rival SJW lingo is kinda neat. Parsing through all of that is kind of fun!

&#x200B;

Maybe I'm missing the point that Double Standards are the Main Point of The Red Pill. Correct me if I'm wrong and there's some other underlying truth I've missed.

&#x200B;

I feel like feminists are just like, over there, doing feminist stuff. Cheering each other on the same way this TRP thing seems to work. I still don't get how they are going to rock my world to the core with violent class warfare. I guess they can be just as baffling as hardcore MRA is to me. Otherwise they seem pretty harmless. Maybe I've been brainwashed by sleeping with a feminist for years who was better in bed than any other chick I'd hooked up with on a regular basis. After that relationship ended I banged another feminist. #2 rank sex out of I dunno 15-20 tops. I can't claim ultimate Chad Alpha status. Damn LTRs and uneasiness with cheating.

&#x200B;

I will remain tolerant of feminists solely because I'm becoming suspicious that they're better in bed. Y'all need to get wit a freak nasty feminist on a lark. Maybe it could lead to some weird hatefucking lifechanger sex of your life?

blahblah one last thing

Are context clues like my man or my boyfriend ok? Or would that leave you dudes feeling invaded by the gay if you weren't totally sure of the commenter's sex? Or is there a secret gay side to TRP? I have so many questions. I'm sure I'll eventually learn something.

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[-] grey_clouds420 0 Points 2 months ago

Yes exactly. I think it’s also completely overlooked about how much men actually overthink things to massive extents when all they really need is for someone to be honest and tell them what’s what and vice versa. Communication is so screwed up these days!

[-] albino_red_head 2 Points 2 months ago

In effect, wouldn't acting like you're single (apart from having an SO) be the exact same advice as staying the way you are (when you were single)? Are you just re-wording "act like you're single" to "stay the way you are (when you were single)" as the means to achieve your happiness in a relationship?

I'll admit, I just inserted status and security as a quick red pillish reference as to what might make a woman happy in the above "act like your single" relationship. All in all whether it's called "act like you're single" or "stay the way you are" there's happiness achieved in both scenarios compared to the alternative (changing and becoming codependent). This is a closer model to interdependence in LTR's.

Also, I would LOVE to hear your explanation of foreplay here.

&#x200B;

[-] grey_clouds420 3 Points 2 months ago

Yes I understand where you are coming from, but as a single person you can involve yourself with people in a way where when you are in a relationship it’s just not acceptable. If you were to be in a LTR I would assume being monogamous would be important no? (Unless it’s an agreed upon thing) So on that aspect acting single other than staying yourself there is a difference in my opinion.

And I just think that it’s down to both sides with effort and attraction in a relationship.
You shouldn’t have to keep your partner interested, you should want to keep them interested, you should want to keep doing things that make them feel good. Otherwise what is the point? There’s no point in stability if it’s just boring.

[-] OneRedSock 2 Points 2 months ago

And what else is there that you expect a man to find? Unconditional love? A best friend? Someone to confide in completely?

Unconditional love doesn't exist and people who offer the rest of these things come and go throughout life. And why make the person you date those focal points, when they can so easily move along at some point? The Disney dream you think exists beyond the simple principles outlined above also exist beyond the edge of reality. To place the deeper meaning in your life -- found through intimate relationships -- within another individual is a mistake that will leave you bereft once they move on.

A relationship is made from two individuals who give added value to the other person. The value he is indicating is the sex and having an enjoyable time with that person, and he is seeking no further value beyond these items. These are not shallow values. The conditions both people set within a relationship can be agreed upon or altered at any point, and if the woman is displeased they are free to walk. The only relationships that allow for less alterations are called marriages, but people seem to have expected the rules of marriage to apply to non-married people.

From my experience, the women with whom I have attempted to "create that deeper" meaning with resulted in poor outcomes. It's not a lie to say that most TRP followers arrived here after having an awakening due to a very poor relationship with a woman; something that was integral to their life which collapsed and created a deep void. These days I temper my dialogue with my sexual partners, because I know the things they don't want to hear.

But when catastrophe strikes, there's always an opportunity for learning and growth. What we have learned and how we have grown is in this way: for any sort of real support, find this in your good male friends. For the sex and the fun, find this in women. Anything beyond this is an unrealistic expectation. This is proven time and again when you examine how love and limerance work, and how people in other cultures are able to "love" each other after they have an arranged marriage. Because the reality is the effort and work supersede any other woo-hoo bullshit about love, caring, and deep connection.

[-] itiswr1tten 5 Points 2 months ago

Sociopath is not a medical term and has no meaning, especially the way it's thrown around on the internet.

This is SELFISH. That's a normal human behavior. Men forgot how to be selfish, and that is the key to learning what it is you actually want out of women.

[-] grey_clouds420 2 Points 2 months ago

Care to elaborate on that?

[-] sleepyinbk 1 Point 2 months ago

I always thought of sociopaths as more catchall phrase for a spectrum of wacky folks who are generally more impulsive types with regard to their anti-social behavior

as opposed to a psychopaths who can be totally cool and calculating.

Ah. They're both blanketed under the antisocial personality disorder tag in DSM V. I wonder if the Psychopath Checklist is still a thing other than turning up in prison studies now and then.

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[-] SilkTouchm -4 Point 2 months ago

You're morally judging someone based on your own predefined morals. TRP is amoral by definition, your comment doesn't fit here.

[-] Dominimus 3 Points 2 months ago

Funny how you’re being downvoted. I wonder who’s right.

[-] TheRedPike 2 Points 2 months ago

Funny how I'm banning everyone else.

[-] Dominimus 1 Point 2 months ago

So why do you think he got downvoted on a place like TRP? Im a casual reader but it seems like there’s a few different factions here that often disagree with one another.

[-] TheRedPike 1 Point 2 months ago

Disagreement is ok and expected. Moralizing is explicitly forbidden in the rules.

[-] ReformedShady 1 Point 2 months ago

I don't think you realise how absurd that sounds

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[-] HeadingRed 55 Points 2 months ago

Likewise on both - and when the TRP sub became widely known it got a lot of Internet Tough Guys(tm). The toolbox concept holds a lot of water.

And it's pretty easy to spot the basement dwellers from guys trying to improve themselves - but still annoying to wade through it.

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[-] TheReformist94 -25 Point 2 months ago

whats wrong with being a sociopath when women naturally use sociopathy and machiavellian tactics?

[-] cpk8080 0 Points 2 months ago

Because not ALL women use sociopathy and machiavellian tactics. I've had this conversation with some of my guy friends, a lot of times men on TRP flirt with being black pilled and don't even know it. Saying that AWALT is lumping more than 3.7 billion women into one group and is simply not true. It would be a little more accurate to say that AAWALT (All American women are like that) because there are a ton of foreign (and some domestic..not many i'll agree to that) that were raised right and want an equal relationship with family , life goals, career goals, etc. Yes lots of American women have been corrupted by the media, advertisements and catty social peer groups made up of man hating women, but not ALL are like that.

[-] madhguru 43 Points 2 months ago

Patrice O'Neal voice BECAUSE YOURE BETTER THAN THEM.

[-] TheReformist94 -2 Point 2 months ago

I can see people getting butthurt by my comment, and haven't fully digested the red pill of amorality. Amorality works both ways gentlemen

[-] madhguru 5 Points 2 months ago

Yes, the 17 and counting downvotes you've gotten are because we don't get it. Keep reading bro.

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 2 months ago

> Yes, the 17 and counting downvotes you've gotten are because we don't get it.

Yeah fucking downvotes are what matter here? SMH.

[-] TakinCareOfBizznizz 4 Points 2 months ago

Oh god yes. Patrice is the man.

[-] heartbroken_nerd 5 Points 2 months ago

I heard him proclaiming those words as I read your comment, and his voice is continuously echoing in my head as I'm typing this comment right now.

10/10

[-] madhguru 1 Point 2 months ago

This was probably the number one piece of advice I got from that show, glad you enjoyed.

G with the high-top fade, open up your coach-bag, bitch so I can get paid!

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[-] TibetanWisdom 116 Points 2 months ago

Acting like you are single will help you to readjust to single life when the LTR inevitably fails.

[-] lopsidedlucky 1 Point 2 months ago

First thing I though when I read this was ouch. Next thing I though, it's fucking true.

[-] cantFindValidNam 1 Point 2 months ago

Genius :D this also has the byproduct of making you more desirable immediately.

[-] Andgelyo 1 Point 2 months ago

lmao good way to look at it, either way its a win/win situation

[-] sleepyinbk 0 Points 2 months ago

Truth. Heh. I wish I'd realized this sooner!

I've experienced this first hand staying out all day/night partying and being a toolbag bike messenger instead of taking my life and my ex seriously. After accidentally exploding the LTR by being a selfish man-child I'm left feeling foolishly adrift. I wish I held a lower opinion of my ex and women in general. It would make moving on and being a super alpha bro way easier.

Maybe I'll start roleplaying that any sex I've had since that fell through was something other than disappointing, unfulfilling, and ultimately frustrating 10 min after climax. Except for the six months I was still in the same city after we broke up. I MISS GOOD SEX! boohoo

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] [deleted] 2 Points 2 months ago

/u/TheRedPike, talk about moralizing, how about this guy? Reportable?

Edit: I think I tagged the brigade leader in my comment history, for whatever it's worth. I'm sure you've scrapped with the bitch before.

[-] TheRedPike 2 Points 2 months ago

Yes, report stuff like that.

[-] whatsthisgarg 8 Points 2 months ago

This post was written by someone who's never been in a long term relationship.

Longer than most readers here have been alive.

I'd wager my life savings on it.

Go ahead and liquidate those savings and get ready to send them to me.

Men chase their dreams and accomplish their goals. This can be accomplished while helping a partner chase and accomplish their dreams at the same time.

Where did I say you can't do this?

If you're not confident enough to properly select a partner, or emotionally healthy enough to deal with that partner leaving, you're not a man.

Where did I say "don't be confident enough to properly select a partner"? LOL

If you're incapable of being strong enough to invest time into someone's happiness other than yourself, you're not a man.

Where did I say it was a good idea to be "incapable of being strong enough to invest time into someone's happiness other than yourself"? LOLOLOL

It all boils down to having the strength and confidence to know that you can walk at any point, and so can she...

Where are you imagining you are disagreeing with the post?

Not by setting ridiculous juvenile rules

Where are the "ridiculous juvenile rules" I advised when I explicitly said no rules?

[-] whitneyanson 7 Points 2 months ago

Dude, your entire post is a list of rules from top to bottom. You literally advocated for setting a double standard that completely ignores her emotional investment into you and your relationship. You literally advocated behaving one way, and walking if she wanted to behave the same way. You advocated walking away immediately the moment a woman recognizes she's in an unhealthy relationship with someone who isn't taking her needs into account. If you think for a second that this is a healthy way to co-invest in someone's future and build a life together with them, to co-invest in their happiness, to help them reach actualization in their life, you're fucking 12 or you're middle aged and never been in an actual relationship.

You're LARPing, and you've got some poor lonely idiots to buy it.

The only decent advice in the entire post is:

Question: How do you keep HER from cheating on you? You can't stop her. Stop trying, and stop caring.

If she's going to cheat, or you think she would, you have to be strong enough to move on without fear... but all your happy horseshit about insulating yourself from any possible emotional investment is nothing but a weak child's crutch to make up for lacking confidence and self value to recover if you're betrayed.

Be a fucking man. Stop hiding behind paper thin philosophies and using emotional training wheels.

[-] NYCSPARKLE 9 Points 2 months ago

What's childish is your contending that anything but the top 1-5% of women are worth "building something" with.

Building what?

Building a big McMansion (and concordant pile of debt) to keep up with the Jones's?

Building a relationship with someone to share your weaknesses and secrets with? You mean a "friend", which you should have plenty of. Also, when the LTR ends she will tell everyone she knows about your weaknesses and secrets.

You literally advocated for setting a double standard that completely ignores her emotional investment into you and your relationship.

You're completely ignoring that she has no emotional investment in you. She will put up with you for a while if you lose your job, get fat, etc. and then she will branch swing and I assure you she will not be emotionally hung up on it at all. AWALT.

[-] sleepyinbk 0 Points 2 months ago

bruh. just because you think she doesn't know your weaknesses or secrets - this means jack shit. women have wily ways. I mean all it really takes is her sneaking into your laptop or phone and penetrating the wall you've fortressed with circle jerk funtimes.

I can honestly say that I would lose respect for a women who buys into some of the more questionable stuff I see on this sub. Female misogynists don't seem like... biologically the best way for the species to go as a whole.

A complete patriarchy just seems to prone to stagnation and would be kinda chaotic. Notice how through out history things have gotten slightly more chill as women gain suffrage and all that silliness? I wonder how that works. Maybe having half the folks living on the planet having a say in things will help us last a little longer? That could never be true, right?

[-] TheRedPike 9 Points 2 months ago

This post was written by someone who's never been in a long term relationship.

We don't attack people. We attack ideas. This your one and only warning. See, I think the rest of what you said was mostly wrong, but I don't mind people being wrong. I will not abide by them being dicks.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] bucSlayer 7 Points 2 months ago

Well said mister white knight.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] FrankCostanza111 3 Points 2 months ago

"That sounds like a super-theory, Will. That way you can go through life without ever getting close to anyone at all."

Paraphrasing Good Will Hunting

[-] perfidiousfish 5 Points 2 months ago

This post is a car crash; there's concern trolling, moralising, and it's dripping with estrogen. One key thing though:

"Be a fucking man"

This is the kind of shit bloopers and post wall harpies come out with as the reason you should look after her 3 kids. It almost always translates as "put yourself second", so if your hear it, your best bet is probably to do the opposite.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] LiveAFTSOV 1 Point 2 months ago

Loved it bro. Grats on 3rd point ????????????

Great post though I love it. Do the same thing myself.

[-] whatsthisgarg 2 Points 2 months ago

Loved it bro. Grats on 3rd point

goddammit. I said I would abandon my account if that happened. Something about not joining a club that would have me as a member.

[-] LiveAFTSOV 1 Point 2 months ago

lmao, i wont hold it against you. it's the end goal anyways, right? just thought it was funny -- inside jokes

[-] Bat_Shitcrazy -1 Point 2 months ago

Also, all this create mystery stuff is weird, just do things you like and then tell her about it, mystery is only interesting for like a month.

If youre really wanting a long term relationship with this person, you should want to share your life. Share YOUR own personal life with them.

[-] BlackThursday29 1 Point 2 months ago

Act like you're single.

If she acts like she's single, she's not a candidate for a LTR.

&#x200B;

Uhm ... what?

[-] Bat_Shitcrazy 3 Points 2 months ago

For real, I don’t want to date someone that is just sitting by their phone waiting for me to call

[-] BlackThursday29 1 Point 2 months ago

Well, duh. That is however not what I'm pointing at, what I wanna say is that it is contradictory that a man should act like he's single while a woman who wants to do that is automatically not a candiate for a long term relationship.

[-] Bat_Shitcrazy 1 Point 2 months ago

Well duh, I definitely agree with you from the ‘double standards are stupid’ and equality point of view.

I’m just saying even structurally that relationship would suck

[-] reyaan7 2 Points 2 months ago

the ‘double standards are stupid’ and equality point of view

There's no equality. And you must use 'double standards' for women.

You can flirt, fuck any girl even if you are in LTR but she must be loyal to you.

[-] Bat_Shitcrazy -1 Point 2 months ago

Are you fucking serious, like I know this is the red pill, but are you fucking serious

[-] reyaan7 2 Points 2 months ago

I'm serious. You should read the sidebar again, have some real-world experience and don't watch tv too much.

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[-] reyaan7 2 Points 2 months ago

you fucking whiny incel

you were whining abt double standards and equality lol.

Anyways, keep believing your equality shit. People like you are the useful idiots.

[-] BlackThursday29 1 Point 2 months ago

Equality is one thing. Double standards is another.

Equality (or what most people actually mean equalism) might be unachievable and is indeed not necessary, but such a double standard is nonetheless dumb af.

[-] Bat_Shitcrazy 0 Points 2 months ago

I was just pointing out that double standards are illogical, as it’s a double edged sword, I don’t think shiny is the word for it

[-] nester79 1 Point 2 months ago

This is pretty well written with good points.

I lived my life in an amazing way and then got married. I was lucky that my wife let's me pretty much be a single guy most of the time - I go out whenever I want, I pursue all my hobbies, etc.

One of the things that happened though is that I got complacent and let myself gain weight and stop working out - bad bad news. I met someone at work and I kicked in the single version of myself again. I started running again (qualified for a major marathon this year), started triathlons, lifted again, and got certifications in being a sommelier, a us track and field coach, finished reading War and Peace, and mastered a new language. I'm still a trauma surgeon by day (and by night if I'm on call) and yes I am fucking my coworker who is also married (to someone who can't give her shelter from the hard edges of life that I do).

Life is pretty awesome right now.

[-] Zech4riah 1 Point 2 months ago

And generally speaking: Maybe just stop being monogamous and 90% of the problems disappear.

[-] bitopansad 5 Points 2 months ago

Such a quality post. Exactly this, is what I've been doing for the past 7 years and then I lost it in between ( fuck me and my blue pill edges of last year, but a man's gotta fail to learn more ). I had a tumultuous first two years at work and the rough patch still continues. But instead of falling into the blue pill trap and digging deeper, I've gotten plates for myself and then I got back my LTR too.

Right now, I'm the boss who drives the relationship. Sex is a million times better, fitness is at an all time best, and I've finally found the desire to work on my career for real.

This was the mantra I stood by when I committed myself to the girl 7 years ago. ALYAS. And this is what a stand by now multiplied by a million times. From cum's meh to swallowing it like cheese in a span of a year is pretty good progress by my standards.

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[-] Messin-About 24 Points 2 months ago

This sub is so weird. You guys will be about 85% “yeah sure i could see that being good advice” and then slip in some bullshit. This entire post is essentially just “be individuals, together” which is a normal thing people understand but then you slip in something like “hehe I came home smelling of another women, mysterious eh?”. Why?

Edit: because I'm banned now and cant reply. My problem is the sub takes normal healthy advice and ruins it with some macho man nonsense.

[-] max_peenor 7 Points 2 months ago

You are saying there is a problem without actually saying what the problem is. So what is it?

[-] SilkTouchm 1 Point 2 months ago

Question: What if she wants to act like SHE is single? Not a candidate for a LTR. That is just a woman you are fucking.

There are things such as MLTR's or OLTR's you could try if you get the paradigm of monogamy out of your head for a second.

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[-] TheTrenTrannyTrain 0 Points 2 months ago

You are the captain of your own ship, she's just a barnacle hitching for a ride of your fun-filled life.

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[-] 1nc3l1 16 Points 2 months ago

This is a very high IQ post.

The problem with a lot of normie/sub-tier guys is that it takes FUCKING AGES to get into a relationship, with a shit ton of effort on our parts, improving game, putting in the time and effort for online dating, paying to take them out, trying to impress them amidst the literal SEA of matches they're getting on Tinder.

So when we end up in a relationship, it's kinda like winning a race. You slow down, wipe your head with a towel. Drink a Gatorade. Sit down. Veg out. We celebrate the fact that we got them, and we can just chill out now, put them on a pedestal and give them all the feels. We retract from our game, we open up more, we share feelings, yada yada.

This is what we do wrong.

What we should be doing is maintaining frame and gain even moreso. We should be looking to fight for attention from other women even while we're in the relationship, even if (well actually especially) if our SO's don't like it.

Don't share feelings, that's a woman's territory. BE A MAN. Be the man you thought you had to be before you'd secured her. Don't change one iota of your existing life. Don't give up on friends just cos she don't like them. Don't start going to knitting classes together just cos she wants to do it as a couple. Maintain your frame.

Then by the time she inevitably cheats on you, chances are you'll already be doing the same. Win, win. Instead of being a blubbering wreck when she unexpectedly dumps you, you'll be a triumphant god who has another chick waiting for you to pump her THE SAME DAY.

[-] _TheRP 4 Points 2 months ago

Eh. You know when you hear women complain about not being able to get laid? This is the same shit.

All women can get laid all the time. Right now there is probably 30% of the male population that'll gladly shove their dick in anything with a pulse. What women mean when they say "I can't get laid" is actually "I can't get guys I want to fuck to ride me like a wild horse". Women want to fuck 2+ levels higher than themselves on the 1-10 scale, with an absolute minimum of 5 or 6. Men will fuck anything in their neighborhood on the 1-10 scale.

Relationships are the exact opposite. A woman with latch on to any dude with provider characteristics that's in her neighborhood on the 1-10 scale. Men want a woman that is 2+ levels above them if they're going to poney up with some commitment.

I say all of that to say this - it's the same for everyone. All of that 'work' you're putting in that you think Chad isn't putting in, you're wrong. How the fuck do you think he became Chad?

My best friend in college was a fucking beast. 5'10" and 195 pounds of muscle. Always 10% body fat or less. Guy could rep out 315 on flat bench like I could rep out 185. It was ridiculous. Being young and stupid, I asked him if he watched what he ate or what - he looked at me like I was retarded and said 'nah bro, this is all genetic, I popped out like this'.

Of course I felt like an idiot. The work never stops.

[-] Celicni 1 Point 2 months ago

Being young and stupid, I asked him if he watched what he ate or what - he looked at me like I was retarded and said 'nah bro, this is all genetic, I popped out like this'.

I assume by this you mean the law 30: Make your accomplishments seem effortless.

[-] _TheRP 1 Point 2 months ago

He just deadpans shit all the time. It's really funny.

Again, we were really close friends. It wasn't a dick measuring contest.

[-] HeadingRed 8 Points 2 months ago

Spot on as to "I've won the race time to chill". I've done that as well. I think the hardest part is not opening up when something bothers you. You do it once and she makes you feel better, treats you extra nice, etc. Then it becomes a habit - you have a shit day, she makes you feel better - and you slide down the chart from man she adores, respects and will be her rock to man-child dependent.

[-] 1nc3l1 5 Points 2 months ago

I think the hardest part is not opening up when something bothers you. You do it once and she makes you feel better, treats you extra nice, etc. Then it becomes a habit - you have a shit day, she makes you feel better - and you slide down the chart from man she adores, respects and will be her rock to man-child dependent.

I know brah, this exactly. It's so easy to do as well. But I think I've finally learned my mistakes. My problem in the past has been having too little else going on in my life, so they've been the biggest change in it, and it's all too obvious. Can't let this happen again.

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[-] 1nc3l1 3 Points 2 months ago

Even though I feel like putting her on a pedestal and focusing on her.

Try concentrating your focus to the times when you can be intimate. Do be a good lover. Do stuff like massaging her, etc, as a prelude to a sensual night in. Don't have conversations about feelings or telling her how she's the best thing to ever happen to you. It's all about concentrating your focus.

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 2 months ago

My only plate right now

No such thing as a single plate, bro. You have a girlfriend. You are seeing things fairly well, though....you might not need to take every shot, but you damn well better be able to line them up.

[-] Overkillengine 26 Points 2 months ago

The subtext some of you are probably going to miss from this is you basically cannot be dependent on her for anything. You must live as if you can and are going to handle everything yourself, and she's just the helper for now. And you have to be able to back that up, and be willing to cut her loose and replace her the moment she becomes more a burden than an asset. Rest assured, if you become dependent upon her for anything in any facet of your life, you are queuing yourself up for some disappointment in the best case scenario.

&nbsp;

Yes, that includes child rearing too. Replacement wombs are being born every day.

[-] albino_red_head 1 Point 2 months ago

Some of this falls into the classic categories of having codependent relationships vs interdependent relationships. OP describes interdependent relationships almost to a T. You're basically stating that the unhealthy variety, codependence is something to avoid.

[-] Overkillengine 6 Points 2 months ago

Close but not quite.

What I mean is you cannot rely on her for literally anything. To include fidelity, loyalty, honesty, any sort of emotional support, productivity/paying what would rationally be considered her share of the bills, etc. Don't even depend on her to be a good mother to her children, or even a decent human being.

Have a backup/exit strategy for all of these things. It sounds ridiculous because it is. Neither society or the marriage contract will enforce her responsibilities, so it therefor falls upon the man to be a ruthless motherfucker who is willing to tell or demonstrate to her that either she will, or her replacement will.

[-] HeadingRed 3 Points 2 months ago

You summed it up - guys if you only do one thing right with a woman you are in a LTR with this is it. She'll loose more interest over failing in this area than if you gained 50lbs or went broke.

[-] KeffirLime 276 Points 2 months ago

Question: What if she wants to act like SHE is single? Not a candidate for a LTR. That is just a woman you are fucking.

Question: How do you keep HER from cheating on you? You can't stop her. Stop trying, and stop caring.

This is the most common stalling point for most men. They want to manipulate, hustle and fight for their unicorn, when they should be cutting their losses.

Sure an LTR is an investment, but as with any investment, you need to manage it.

If your investment is paying dividends, enjoy it. If your investment is falling to shit, cut your losses. You don't need to lose your car, house and business before you realize that it was a shit investment.

Invest elsewhere in more profitable ventures.

Good post.

[-] duckyhs 30 Points 2 months ago

This is what helped the most in TRP mindset. If she were to leave tomorrow I wouldn't be sad or devastated. Life will go on and having the abundance mentality means I have plenty to look forward to in the future and most guys need to reconcile with that outlook instead of being betas and trying to recollect on a bad investment. Its truly life changing.

[-] Dominimus 1 Point 2 months ago

“Abundance mindset” doesn’t work when you’re 80, unless you’re a zen master, but then you’re probably abstinent by choice anyway, lol.

[-] reluctantly_red 1 Point 2 months ago

Sure it does. Its not unusual for a guy to accumulate a following of friendly females over the years. That 80 year old guy should be able to have several 70 year old women (i.e. old friends). I'm only 54 and have had two women from my past reach out and try to reestablish contact this year.

[-] TheReformist94 23 Points 2 months ago

Yes, I manage my investments by diversing my portfolio to reduce risk. To combat the socially acceptable female open linear hypergamy (even TRP think female hypergamy is ok because its one at a time), I cheat and use male polygamy to counter the risk of cheating. The morality police here at TRP like to say its dishonest even though female sexual sdtrategy is at base dishonest.

&#x200B;

ANd no, I am not advocating spinning plates, because that goes against my strategy of "ensuring male paternity". Women cheat in a "linear fashion", so society and TRP let them get away with it.

&#x200B;

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[-] Chadster113 1 Point 2 months ago

I don't understand what you mean by "cheating in a linear fashion". Can you explain it to me differently?

[-] lopsidedlucky 1 Point 2 months ago

My bet, it means you're going from one guy to another as if branch swinging. This would be versus a woman cheating on you with 5 guys all at the same time without branch swinging.

[-] reluctantly_red 3 Points 2 months ago

Women cheat in a "linear fashion", so society and TRP let them get away with it.

LOL! They'll say its not cheating if they wait till the day after their old guy is out of the house to fuck their new guy.

[-] whatsthisgarg 20 Points 2 months ago

To combat the socially acceptable female open linear hypergamy

CREDIT HERE, /u/TheReformist94 is THE MAN I got this concept from. It's deeper than you think.

This is brilliant, read this you fuckers:

It's because theyre cucks and havent swallowed the pill. TRP has this little cuck mantra called "she's not yours, just your turn", so, following biology, commonsense and economics, i recall men are polygamous (i.e. if you commit, you are losing your sexual strategy everyday), but she is serial monogamy (she is gaining on her sexual strategy everyday, until she is bored on you and breaks up(cheats and branch swings)).

So by definition, by saying "she is not yours not your turn" you are saying I am a linear cuck because i forsake pussy and allow women to cheat in advance on me.

Second, sexual strategy is amoral, but its only amoral when women cheat, openly brag about open hypergamy, and relish and have no remorse, but when we cheat, its suddenly not amoral, we are meant to be "honest" about whether or not we are spinning plates.

if women can AF:BB in a linear ( socialy acceptable manner), why can we have our cake and eat it too, and have our AF:BB, i.e have a "madonna" as a wife, and cheat with "whores " on the side?

(bold added by me)

[-] TheReformist94 1 Point 2 months ago

Cheers dude. This fact seems to completely go over all their heads here. We are meant to take used goods, have open hypergamy rubbed in our faces, not know who our LTRs dicks they're sucking, see all the affairs at work, and just "hold frame" when it's no longer our turn. Yeh right, get the fuck out.

[-] NYCSPARKLE 5 Points 2 months ago

Yep. I saw another good way of phrasing this on a post about STDs, actually.

If you are worried about being immoral or giving your LTR or main plate STDs (because you have side pieces), you better believe I and other guys don't give a shit about giving them to her when she is in the process of branch swinging from you.

&#x200B;

[-] whatsthisgarg 6 Points 2 months ago

Yep. I saw another good way of phrasing this on a post about STDs, actually. If you are worried about being immoral or giving your LTR or main plate STDs (because you have side pieces), you better believe I and other guys don't give a shit about giving them to her when she is in the process of branch swinging from you.

That's a comment from the real world; rare.

Here's ANOTHER way of phrasing it, as I put it in another context: Your girlfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend sucked the herpes off my dick. I am Chad, AMA.

[-] SilkTouchm 7 Points 2 months ago

It is dishonest by any way you look at it. You're preaching a monogamous relationship with someone but do the opposite of it, that's the very definition of dishonesty. Not trying to morally judge you, just calling things as they are.

[-] max_peenor 2 Points 2 months ago

Disingenuous might be the word you want, but this has nothing to do with honesty. The former is perhaps misguided (or not), but the latter would be moralizing. So you are ok, but I agree that I think you missed the point.

[-] instasnickers 2 Points 2 months ago

That's not the point. Here is an exemple.

You are in a relationship, neither of you can cheat in the relationship. No one cheat. You're both happy because now you THINK you trust each other so much you don't cheat on each others to avoid the consequences.

The point it, you don't trust each other. Hear me out, here is why:

You're in a relationship, both of you tell the other they can cheat. No one cheat. You're both happy because now you KNOW you trust each other so much that even when you could cheat without consequences, you don't do it.

In OP post it's the same:

1He's saying it's okay to cheat, while preaching not to cheat.

2He's saying it's okay to cheat, when she does cheat

3He's saying unless you're ????% sure she won't, she will

4He's saying since she will, N°2 apply. You can cheat.

And it's not cheating

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[-] toolguy8 6 Points 2 months ago

Ironic - you are trying to control people who are doing as they like by saying they shouldn’t allow anyone to control them.

[-] albino_red_head 5 Points 2 months ago

how are they controlling anyone but themselves? Didn't he say that he or she can walk?

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[-] Bat_Shitcrazy 1 Point 2 months ago

I feel like this whole thing can be summed in a nicer way for your girl by saying, keep trying to impress her physically (keep trying to dress up and hit the gym, just look and smell nice), and be your own person (keep your hobbies and interests).

[-] [deleted] 5 Points 2 months ago

This is why all these jerks keep chanting the defeatist cuck mantra She's not yours, it's just your turn.

Is it a foundational TRP concept or a defeatist cuck mantra?

I suppose if the focus is on the word "jerks" (i.e. the guys you're talking to) you have an absolutely solid point (and this is a great post on how to handle LTRs). To the plate-spinner, to the MGTOW who gets laid on the regular with a rotation of women but never cohabitates, preferring to handle all his own shit, to the older guy who bangs younger women, it's just your turn.

[-] GBP4tendies 1 Point 2 months ago

It's not cuck and it's not always literal. Rollo penned this and he's no cuck. I'm quite sure Rollo knows he has his wife on lock.

Because it's about the mindset.

It means the same thing as what OP discussed in his second to last question. Not sure how he doesn't understand that.

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 2 months ago

Question: How do you keep HER from cheating on you?

You can't stop her. Stop trying, and stop caring.

Yeah, the answer to the second to the last question is the absolute epitome of she's not yours, it's just your turn.

I like what the OP has to say 95% of the time. I think he was going for a bit of shock value. I do think this is a solid post regarding LTR's. Every guy I see who's successful in an LTR has his own life.

[-] whatsthisgarg 2 Points 2 months ago

Yeah, the answer to the second to the last question is the absolute epitome of she's not yours, it's just your turn.

No, and to /u/GBP4tendies and /u/ARKANSA15 also, you are missing the point.

It's not YOUR turn, it's HER turn with YOU. It's all about the mindset. You don't just hope she doesn't get bored and you don't just wait around for her to determine the course of the relationship.

[-] ARKANSA15 3 Points 2 months ago

Rewording the phrase doesn't change its meaning.

You have no say in what she does. Don't think because you are super alpha, your dick is so hard, or you are very knowledgeable about how women act that what you do will 100% stop a woman from monkey branching. The top tier men in the world still get kicked to the curb by women.

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 2 months ago

It's not YOUR turn, it's HER turn with YOU.

Indeed, this is an excellent mindset.

you don't just wait around for her to determine the course of the relationship.

I'm looking to maintain strict independence. All I have to offer is for them to come over to my pad for fantastic meals, intelligent conversations, and good sex....no more than once per week, and yes, I'm doing it with more than one and no, I won't stop.....that's not a situation most women will tolerate for an indefinite period of time, but it's up to them when they stop, not me. As long as they are behaving right when they're with me, it's all good.

[-] Rian_Stone 2 Points 2 months ago

If you take it as a statement of impotence, than it is useless imo

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 2 months ago

I agree.....I don't see it as impotence, I see it as strength, and I see it as opening a whole world of relationships and women which would otherwise be off limits. I'd never hit on women half my age if I didn't realize I'm just trying to get a turn.

[-] ARKANSA15 3 Points 2 months ago

Yeah lot of bullshit in this post but some good. It is always just your turn. The good thing is readers can take what they agree with and discard the rest.

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 2 months ago

I don't know what to think of the "toolbox" approach to TRP. Once certain things are accepted, hypergamy (i.e. women's dualistic mating strategy, i.e. AF/BB) the toolbox analogy is fine. Obviously the OP has contributed more than I have.....and I agree with most of this post, to be quite honest. Still, "she's not yours" is a fundamental TRP mindset that the OP definitely agrees with. It was a bit jarring to see a denunciation of it, but then again I think he's denouncing the AFC's who use it as a crutch/excuse.

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[-] Auxfite 25 Points 2 months ago

I acted single with my ex HB9 but she had PTSD & BPD so you could imagine that nightmare.

This post should add to never get in LTR with a women with mental illnesses

[-] Pezotecom -1 Point 2 months ago

That's a bit rough.

Not that I'm saying you should 'feel sorry' or whatever, but 1) you can not always notice those red flags and 2) you can ALWAYS (like op says) not give a fuck and just have fun while it lasts.

[-] madhguru 6 Points 2 months ago

Correct I think the proper way to think about it is girls with mental illnesses are just that much more trouble, and very unlikely to be suitable LTRs. As long as you don't feel like you have to save her it can be much fun. Just have to vet that much more which we should already be doing under any circumstance, from ONS to LTR.

A chick who turns to drugs/alcohol to deal with said mental illnesses will be the easiest ones to fuck and get into an LTR but will provide you with bottom of the barrel quality.

[-] Aeroxis4 2 Points 2 months ago

I can relate to this. You can't apply the concept to all women.

[-] askmrcia 13 Points 2 months ago

This post should add to never get in LTR with a women with mental illnesses

Why? Isn't this common sense?

[-] 10211799107 1 Point 2 months ago

If you get comments from your LTR in the form of "you're just in your world and i feel like im only a small part of it" or "you just do what you want regardless" then I'd say you're doing it right.

Main plate calls me a bf. She's still as giddy as the first day we fucked. Think Ive been dping rhis without knowing. Makes total sense.

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[-] rockyp32 3 Points 2 months ago

So is cheating on a LTR frowned upon here?

[-] TheRedPike 2 Points 2 months ago

Frowned upon? That sounds like a moral judgement. You most certainty get to do that, but we don't discuss moral judgments here. If you have objective reasons why it's a bad idea, please share them. Moralizing is strictly forbidden. You weren't doing that, right?

[-] rockyp32 2 Points 2 months ago

Ok well I’m not trying to moralize but I’m trying to understand why that is an accepted idea in TRP I understand improving yourself then getting a lot of girls but when u choose to settle down that’s the sacrifice you make unless the girls cool with it

[-] TheRedPike 2 Points 2 months ago

choose to settle down

Oh dear.

[-] Rian_Stone 2 Points 2 months ago

Try a different framing. You're always open to settling down, but it's not the default state.

Every girl your with has to convince you she's worth it. Dating/plate spinning is how female incapability manifests itself.

Or: You don't settle down, you give a girl enough rope to hang herself with, and she refuses to take the bait.

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[-] bestsparkyalive 2 Points 2 months ago

I love this place . It’s changed my whole life. I was a beta cuck and I’m so thankful for TRP: all the pain is worth it

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[-] F_Dingo 2 Points 2 months ago

Multiple states (mainly in the south) have common law marriages still.

[-] Paltenburg 3 Points 2 months ago

> it's just fun. That's why you were doing those things when you were single.

Exactly, I never understand why guys change their behavior... where you putting on an act before?

[-] linkofinsanity19 0 Points 2 months ago

I think this is side bar material. Not simply because it is good, but because even after reading the side bar, this post is extremely helpful in terms of LTRs. While the points mentioned in this post were pretty close to what I intended to do IF I ever get into another LTR, this post made me much less unsure about how to handle a LTR differently than being single (which is not much). Also, it would be a great post to revisit for recalibration for those who get into LTRs and find themselves starting to fail.

[-] SoulRebel99 0 Points 2 months ago

This post needs to be stickied. I've been using a version of this subconsciously after integrating the side-bar. As far as I can tell, it keeps her eager to see me, please me and in general be pleasant company.

[-] Laballia -3 Point 2 months ago

I got some situational questions for you bro I struggled with some situations

: She really needs help in math and i could help her, should I? What would be ur example for it?

: Is it better to pay for her or not? I mean i pay for women most of the time just bc i want to lol but at some times i did not and was just wondering what u think about it since you probably lived some more time than me

[-] TwoThirteen 5 Points 2 months ago

Women love it when you teach them shit. Teaching a woman math is showing your mastery of a subject and that gets them wet.

Tell her you don't conform to gender roles and that she should pay for your drink if she wants your attention. Then pay for the next round if you find her worth investing more time in.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] confusedguy911911 2 Points 2 months ago

Excellent post , pretty much be the person you want to be always .If a woman sees value and wants to follow great,if she tries to change you or complain ,next her.Life is too short to spend it pleasing someone else

[-] qwerty8008135 18 Points 2 months ago

Then she will do the same thing to you. This is shit advice

[-] twdziki 1 Point 2 months ago

Then she will do the same thing to you. This is shit advice

So what? You're not dependent on her. If you don't like her behaviour you can always find another one.

[-] TakinCareOfBizznizz 4 Points 2 months ago

Even if you do the opposite, she can still do you dirty. May as well make your happiness first priority.

Remember, a woman's love and compassion is conditional. They change up as often as her emotions do.

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[-] TakinCareOfBizznizz 3 Points 2 months ago

Autumnmerp uses Shame Language!

Its not very effective....

[-] TheRedPike 2 Points 2 months ago

Door shown.

[-] [deleted] 3 Points 2 months ago

Effectively got her reported for concern trolling.

[-] casemodz 1 Point 2 months ago

I would advise against this but judge her actual character and don't commit until you actually know her well enough to stop chasing other women.

[-] MilkMoney111 4 Points 2 months ago

I made a comment about cheating and how it prevented me from entering depression after the LTR breakup and was downvoted over it. TRP is amoral, or was. I was simply saying what made my breakup easier to deal with.

Eventually in a LTR you well get lower returns on your investment until you’re at a net loss. And at this point guys start becoming dull and shadows of their former selves. They lose that spark. I believe this is why many cultures advocated for mistresses or multiple wives.

If you want to get married and remain loyal, at least flirt with other women.

I had a moment of dread after around 3 years in my LTR where I realized that this was going to be the only pussy I’d have for the rest of my life. And the sex was amazing. She was always pushing for it. And it got kinkier and nastier the longer we were together. But I still wasn’t satisfied fully.

The Coolidge effect was very real. Our biology geared is to spread our seed. When you deny that, it’s easy to become washed up.

[-] badaod 5 Points 2 months ago

This is the single best post here I have read all month, thanks for that! The intro is what brought my LTR down and got me on the RP path.

Question: what if she brings up she wants sexual exclusivity? How long can you sidestep that or do you have a formula how to deal with it?

[-] whatsthisgarg 2 Points 2 months ago

Question: what if she brings up she wants sexual exclusivity? How long can you sidestep that or do you have a formula how to deal with it?

Another guy said "red flag" and I have to agree.

I have had the what are we? convo a few times, always failed it, in both ways. (A) I said "I really like you, you're so fun and interesting" and she said "maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore" or (B) I said "this is just sex" and she took off.

Exactly zero of my good LTRs featured an exclusivity conversation. It was just an assumption on her part, and she didn't need to know what or whom I was doing when she wasn't around.

[-] Self-honest 2 Points 2 months ago

Extremely insightful. I too have had that talk many times.

1) Let's just keep doing what we're doing without labels. I hate labels, they change the dynamic and mess things up (Cool for a few months). Then the talk comes again with tears and I broke down and committed. Attraction dissipated over the next 6 months until cheating and ugly break up.

2) What are we going to do when the summer ends? (Summer fling at the beach, I had a senior year of college waiting on me 4 hours away). "Let's just cross that bridge when we get there." Attraction was gone within a few weeks as I tried to add more comfort after stating my position but feeling for hers.

3) I love you to death, seriously. "I don't think exclusivity is healthy. It's better if we both just keep seeing each other because we enjoy it and make that decision every time."(literally my favorite explanation with maybe a little of #1 peppered in). Cue the false rape allegations about another guy she fucked in an attempt to branch swing, slut it up, or whatever. Most likely to engage my protective instincts which I fought and succumbed to. And then the attraction slowly died off.

I think I am prepared to handle it now. The data would suggest otherwise.

So.....only a woman who is confident enough to move forward without asking for committment, is worthy of it. Or something like that huh?

[-] whatsthisgarg 2 Points 2 months ago

Exactly zero of my good LTRs featured an exclusivity conversation.

So.....only a woman who is confident enough to move forward without asking for committment, is worthy of it. Or something like that huh?

I couldn't put it into words until you did. Brilliant interpretation. You may have the honor of putting it to the test, see if it's a hard and fast rule, my friend.

[-] TeddyTough 0 Points 2 months ago

It's a pretty mixed bag. On the one had she's mate-guarding so she has a high valuation of you but on the other hand she's attempting to control your behaviour via Shit-Test.

Its up to you whether you want to indulge her fantasy or not, by actually staying exclusive, but I see two options if you want to leave the possibillity open: either lie to her by telling her what she wants to hear or maintain frame by telling her you'll do what you want. And for the second option you dont even have to explicitly state that thats what youre doing. You can just shrug it off and not answer. Just remember that in all relationships the only person keeping someone from cheating is themselves, so she can cheat too and might even do so purely out of spite. Not saying she will, just be prepared. You should enter all relationships with a woman, prepared for her to cheat.

[-] fromthebottom 2 Points 2 months ago

If she brings it up it’s a bit of a red flag I think.

[-] badaod 2 Points 2 months ago

I guess this is it.

Or you gave away too much honesty from the start and killed mystery.

In any case: if she tries to make you say “I will never have anal in my life again” (or shit like that), it’s probably a dead end anyway.

[-] lovs2spuge 19 Points 2 months ago

A good buddy of mine has dated HB8-10’s just about his whole life. Each time he’s dated one, he more or less did everything you outlined above and i always wondered “how does his gf not get mad/leave him?” And each time, the relationship has been under his terms and he’s walked away when she started giving him too much trouble or when there was nothing left for him to get out of it. It’s as if he’s swallowed the red pill his whole life yet he doesn’t even know this exists.

Now i realize it was because he acted single in every single one of those relationships and it worked every time. He kept his girlfriends pining after him. Girls would rather feel sad/mad/in the dark than feel nothing at all.

[-] sleepyinbk 0 Points 2 months ago

Maybe he walked away because it was no fun for him being in a relationship with a chick who gets paranoid and starts hating you. Can put a damper on things

[-] lovs2spuge 2 Points 2 months ago

That’s exactly what he did. He would subtly flirt with other girls, not exactly in front his girlfriends, but they knew he did. He exemplified dread better than anyone i know. The girls were too insecure and got annoying about it eventually so he cut ties.

[-] sleepyinbk -2 Point 2 months ago

Flip the script here. If a woman was attempting this bullshit you'd be all smell ya later pronto. Where does spreading the dread just become acting like an ass who any right minded person would get tired of dating? It's like wannabe halfass psychopathology behavior if you take it too far. I guess going all the way is a bit much. This approach to dating seems a halfstep for dudes not Chadly enough to truly take the plunge into totally anti-social behavior.

Jerking some chick around until she has no more time for you like that is not an approach I've ever intentionally taken.

I guess I've only done this sort of thing while I was to afraid to admit a relationship wasn't really working and either man up to break things off in an honest manor or step my game up and work on the relationship. Sometimes I just don't think I have it in me to Chad-Up.

[-] lovs2spuge 2 Points 2 months ago

The relationship needs to be on a man’s terms. Not hers. Either you’re gonna do it or she is. Someone is always in control.

[-] sleepyinbk 1 Point 2 months ago

Yeah my hot ex was totally in control. Welpppp
At least I got to have good sex with my best friend all the time for five years

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[-] uebermacht 0 Points 2 months ago

Excellent contribution!
That's the important missing puzzle piece needed between all the other posts about LTRs.
Greatly appreciated, brother :)

[-] LucidCunning 9 Points 2 months ago

" (Cue up the MGTOW Tabernacle Choir, singing A Mighty Fortress Is Our Cuck. Guys, I don't care, I really don't. You don't have to play, but I have had my fun.) "

I belly laughed. Bro, are you Ex-Mormon?

ETA: Great article. I'm seeing this pattern at work more than ever now around me. (I'm not in a LTR, but my dad is and you nailed him and his girl perfectly, among others I know.)

[-] sabinmightyfist 3 Points 2 months ago

Just two thoughts

&#x200B;

1) Relationships do have some give and take. Hanging out with your girlfriends sister is boring as fuck, but sometimes I'll just do what she wants if its important to her. There'll come a time when you want her to do something that she doesn't want to do (my office get togethers for example).

&#x200B;

2) The rest of this post is solid fucking gold. This is more or less how I've been handing my relationship for the last 5 years and its going fucking amazingly.

[-] chief-w 1 Point 2 months ago

A bit off topic, but this should be tagged Theory, not Field Report.

[-] whatsthisgarg 1 Point 2 months ago

A bit off topic, but this should be tagged Theory, not Field Report.

Yeah, but I went with FR because I wanted to emphasize the personally tested experience.

[-] JamzeNeu 1 Point 2 months ago

Removed?

[-] TheRedPike 1 Point 2 months ago

It's the first time I've seen automod nuke a sticky thread. Herm.

[-] whatsthisgarg 1 Point 2 months ago

It's the first time I've seen automod nuke a sticky thread.

I missed it. How did that happen?

[-] TheRedPike 1 Point 2 months ago

Fuck if I know. It goes insane sometimes. Luckily I wandered into the sub about 5 minutes after it happened.

[-] whatsthisgarg 4 Points 2 months ago

Predictably brigaded. All these comments below have been downvoted:

Excellent contribution!

Loved it bro.

I think this is side bar material.

This post needs to be stickied.

LOL

[-] Rian_Stone 1 Point 2 months ago

I've never gotten what the purpose of those comments were. Is it real cheerleading, ironic? an attempt to build comment karma?

they make no sense to me, and are way to similarily scripted

[-] LiveAFTSOV 0 Points 2 months ago

If you make a good post and I've got nothing else to add onto it, I'm gonna say, "loved it bro," and keep it moving.

"Good post, make more" good encouragement to keep quality high

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 2 months ago

Esp. the "sidebar material" comments. That's up to the EC's.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] WhatDoYouCrave -4 Point 2 months ago

(Also take charge of your own laundry. Don't be a babyman who expects his mommy/wife to wash his underwear.)

A woman should know this is woman's work. I'm not saying force her to do it, but she should just be doing it without being asked.

[-] Eyeswideopend 4 Points 2 months ago

I concur, makes perfect sense. We are born alone and die alone and somewhere along the way we have been made believe being partnered with someone will ease this pain, if you live like you could die at any moment or your partner could do the same you effectively spin on your own axis (act single)

Life is to be enjoyed

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] who_wouldve_guessed 0 Points 2 months ago

Fairly accurate as far as maintaining as much sex as possible when in a LTR. As soon as my LTP even tries putting off sex or giving me the run around I instantly revert back to my single DGAF mode by ignoring her, dismissing or ignoring any complaints/nags, doing what I please when I please, etc. Had to use this technique last night and it resulted in some good morning sex before work today which she even fully initiated, which has always been somewhat rare for her. It's like it turns on some validation seeking switch in her head basically, and the only way to turn this off is by giving me a good fuck to make sure I stick around.

[-] marjeh 1 Point 2 months ago

So basically, have an abundance mentality as you continuously improve yourself and always be willing to walk away.

Women are the desert of life, not the main dish.

[-] CMajorThe3rd 1 Point 2 months ago

Tldr; how to ltr, dont.

[-] VickVaseline 1 Point 2 months ago

That's why I like beer: it makes me see double and feel single.

[-] Gaydolf1932 1 Point 2 months ago

You talk about a sexually creative person. What’s there to be creative about in sex? I’m young and new to it, so advice will be appreciated.

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[-] Ripsaw1990 0 Points 2 months ago

Does this mean we should force ourselves to cheat?

[-] PlanetNinja 6 Points 2 months ago

This is not about cheating. It’s about having your own life outside of your LTR. Keep your friends in place, keep your hobbies in place, do what you want to do when you want to do it. You don’t need her permission to go to a concert out of town with you buddies. Make your plans and go. If one day you don’t want to be in a LTR then break it off and go back to ONS and spinning plates.

[-] GuruDev1000 2 Points 2 months ago

Did you read the post? He said act, but do not pretend (disregard the semantics). Human decency and stuff.