From elsewhere on reddit:
Not at all. My wife took our baby when she dyed her hair blue and fell in with a crowd of regs feminists that work with her at Starbucks. She moved back in with her mom, stopped working, and hit me up for child support. They set my CS at the highest earnings I've ever made in my life - a single month during my time owning a janitorial business - , pre tax, 40%. So, that one single month (I had got a contract to clean up a demolished building that paid $4000), I made $6000. Luckily, in Texas, there's a cap at a little over $1000 a month. Problem is, I make $600 every two weeks.
I didn't cheat. I didn't flake. I was supportive, loving, and if I might say so, a good husband. She cheated on me while pregnant with our child, took off while I was at work, no notice, and filed a restraining order which I later found out all lawyers MUST advise their clients of, because it means a MUCH higher rate of achieving custody. That shows up on my background check.
I'm genuinely going to kill myself soon, because I have about two months of savings left with which I can pay my CS, and after that, for each payment missed, it's a court date, with a 180 day jail sentence. Why did all of this happen? So she could find herself. Because she's a strong independent waman who don't need no man. <--- that sentence would have never, ever come out of me before she left.
That's not the half of it, either. I won't bore you with details, but just a few highlights are:
Legal Aid place said their free help for poor people was "more for women".
The state provides free attorneys for women but not men in custody and CS cases.
95% of all custody cases are awarded to women in my state.
This one's the worst of them all, to me: After all of this, I am, in most of society's eyes, a deadbeat dad.
No, this one's the worst: They arbitrated CS from out of state for my wife, so she didn't even have to show up to the court date, but they won't do that for custody. I still haven't even seen my daughter. I learned her name (went from a classic "Julia" to "Aaliahya"..) when the policewoman served me CS papers and treated me like I was trash.
My wife, unemployed, living with mom, gets nothing but help and positivity and support. I'm a monster.
So, that's the story of how I die, apparently.
EDIT: wwell fuck I'm sitting here crying for the first time in.. I don't know.. I can't begin to tell you guys all how much this means to me. I've been living with this huge knot in my chest for close to 2 years and haven't told a soul because I was sure they'd call me weak or not a man or whatever I thought. Just thank you. Thank you thank you thank you, all of you, so much. I promise this to each and every one of you guys: I will document this all. I will make a video detailing all of this, and I'll try to get in contact with some of the people which some of you guys have told me would be interested in the story. I'll plea my case in court before I commit to anything, and like one guy said, maybe jail isn't that bad.
Still wanna get married?
Still wanna bet "your life and everything in it" on the turn of a card in order to win "she gets a ring and a princess party, and you keep the relationship you have now"?
How many more corpses do you need to see?
Arabian_Wolf 6y ago
The future of marriage is bleak at best even outside the anglosaxon sphere.
What about marriage from traditional countries, with high income levels? Perhaps one can escape this man fate there?
theJMD 6y ago
tolerantman 6y ago
Why didn't he take the bitch with him, if he is going to commit suicide?
dontgiveupcarib 6y ago
I'm not sure why men just complain and don't do anything. Men vote for the political systems and leaders that destroy them of their autonomy. Men defend socialism and government control. Men allow banks and other cartels to run the world while using them as pawns. Men die for these systems through war and suicide. And yet they complain about it, without doing anything about it?
You're either part of the problem or part of the solution. Pick one.
Also in case of divorce rape, use Monero.
YoungManHHF 6y ago
Holy shit man this is degrading. I hope that guy turns out alright at the end
Minopo 6y ago
I know this is hard. But can't you just start over in another country?! Clearly the US system fucks all divorced fathers and clearly with that kind of ex wife you will not be a father to your kid. So, I would think it's better to start all over again in another country than living in that kind of misery.
PS2Errol 6y ago
No reason why any man should get married now. Life is too short to play russian roulette with marriage.
Tito312 6y ago
So where's the other person's side of the story? Let's ask her if she disagrees with his version of what happened.
unpluggedoasis 6y ago
Real life is more chilling than any horror movie. I cant imagine what he has been through. Hopefully he has now seen there are still people out there support him. We need to help eachother out in the society we live in.
af_007 6y ago
Oh my God, thanks because I'm divorced but with no kids. Marriage no more!
dudeman456789 6y ago
Yes, married men statistically make more money, have more sex and live longer.
https://stream.org/married-men-are-happier/
Just don’t marry a psycho girl and you’ll be fine
alt-prtsc 6y ago
I was already set financially. She would have a hard time challenging the prenup, considering she essentially wrote most of it.
I have given her my name, so she is under constant scrutiny. Everything she says and does, her looks and style, her feminine graces, now all of it is a reflection of me. And not just me, but of my family and my business.
Over time, being unavoidably indispensable for some aspects of my business, she will experience all manner of shit. Seduction attempts by capable men, blackmail, threats, emotional pressure, and other charming behavior.
She is responsible for raising our children. When they are old enough to begin understanding who I am and what I do, I’ll take a more active role. But I’ll never be too familiar. I’ll provide a role model, she’s responsible for everything else.
Those are some of the demands of the role she has undertaken.
Me? I basically keep doing what I was doing pre-marriage.
I like being married. Maybe I won’t forever, but right now it’s amazing.
[deleted] 6y ago
My story is not much different than OP's. This is a devastating thing to read and it drags up a lot of harsh memories for me. While I would like to think that my demeanor out in the world is still reasonable and decent, when I get online I am an asshole. I have developed a deep seated hatred for foolishness and ignorance. Any slight thing can piss me off. I used to be a lot more tolerant.
Even people here on TRP anger me at times. It seems that when you get treated this way by systems and people you deeply trusted, your view of everything changes permanently. That is why I keep coming here - to remind me of those moments and keep me frosty.
On another note - I nearly quit my dream profession to work off the books so that they could not get my pay. There are ways to do this and you can look it up. It would be dramatic and a lifelong decision, but at least you would be able to live and maybe even thrive despite this mess. But keep in mind, the people who made this happen are also taking away gun rights and freedom of speech. So they are not messing around.
I wish you well /u/Whisper.
_0W0_ 6y ago
If the author reads this, please write to the Iconoclast, good outlet of good people: https://www.iconoclast-media.com/magazine/
atifhere 6y ago
LOL LOL LOL at your western society. I will get married, I will make children with my wife. She is gonna raise them. Cook and clean our home. If she's gonna misbehave, I can simply send her back to her home where her parents will teach her how to behave. If she will cheat, then she better make sure it that she won't get caught because she will be getting a divorce and no one marries a cheating woman here. Even the widow or respectfully divorced woman don't get to have a high status man.
This is the normal state of affairs. A man is simply a dominant force. A woman is submissive. Is it such a taboo thing for your society to accept. I think you guys deserve it, you bring it upon yourself.
Women are fine as fuck, they are as moral as a man. They cheat like men cheat. They want to survive like a man wants to. There is no problem with them. You guys just happen to reward women for cheating. So its fucking very much obvious and natural for an organism to do things that reward them. I can't just stop laughing at you guys.
Man up and stand for yourself and change the system. Or get the fuck out of your country. A western man can easily have a luxurious life in most of the sane countries. Or the least you can do is stop fucking supporting the system.
My men can't even imagine a woman disrespecting or cheating. Rewarding a woman for cheating, and punishing a man for being a loyal man is like imagining some harry potter level fantasy shit, they both can't be possibly real.
WholesomeAwesome 6y ago
lol wtf I wouldn't have paid a single CS payment. By the time they get me, me and all my assets have already boarded the SS galactic transnational legal and financial master race.
diagnosedADHD 6y ago
I plan on happily marrying my SO, we both have a bright future ahead of us, and I really look forward to having someone to spend the rest of my life with. Nothing brings me more joy than thinking of spending my life with my SO. I hope one day you guys find someone who will make you see that. We're not at war, lads.
StinkyDiaper 6y ago
I am a businessman, albeit with little experience. I have a proposition for you.
I think you and I should go into business together. This will offer us a few tax breaks, and also make our families happy as they will see us as "official" lifelong business partners. It will also make God happy. We can even post pictures on social media and announce our partnership to everyone we know, and gather great praise from others as a result.
Please be sure, however, to read the fine print!
The ironclad contract you will be signing states that, at any time, I maintain the right to terminate our partnership for any reason, without warning. If, during our years in business, I work very little and earn hardly anything, whereas you work tirelessly and accumulate very large amounts of wealth, you will guarantee me no less than 50% of all of your earnings, to be paid via lump sum.
On top of that, you will also agree to pay to me a monthly sum, the amount to be determined by a lawyer in court who will not have your best interests in mind.
Aforementioned monthly payment, by the way, will last for as long as I live.
Sound good? Fantastic! Dont worry - you and I will last for life. I can feel it. I just know.
We'll set the ceremony date for next year. Oh, and to become partners in the first place, we will need to spend at least $10,000 on the ceremony itself, and a few additional thousand for diamond and gold pins, to be worn on our clothing at all times for as long as we remain partners.
Sign the dotted line, please.
[deleted]
Whitified 6y ago
now slap the word 'MARRIAGE' on top and millions of men sign up
RedPillRobin 6y ago
Before I got married I knew this but for some reason I went along to get a long. Now I'm paying my fat ex wife $722 a month and all taxes due on that $722 which rounds out at $1000 a month. This is for a kid I barely see and have to fight to see. They tell me child support and custody are 2 separate issues when I complain. That's what the women who run domestic relations tell me. One time I over paid the bitch $3000 when I asked for credit I was litteraly laughed at. Hell of a deal there.
U-94 6y ago
I read this in George Carlin's voice.
RandyBumgardner85 6y ago
This is a fucking great post. I explain it to people using the analogy of friendship:
"So we've been mates for a few years now. I think it's time we signed this contract that says we pool all our assets and if we ever stop being mates we split everything 50/50. Also if one of us can't be bothered to work the other must support him for life. Now I know you are a hard worker, have a promising career and have saved a shit ton of money and I'm a useless layabout who couldn't be bothered to find a decent career and spends all his money on shit but we're friends right so that shouldn't matter. If you won't sign this contract I can't accept that you actually like me and I will go find another best friend."
Only a man with severe learning difficulties would agree to something like this. But swap "friends" for "lovers" and one man for a woman and all off a sudden 90% of men are chomping at the bit.
The stupidity of humanity knows no bounds.
HumanSockPuppet 6y ago
Such is the power of the male sex drive.
That's why we teach men the tools they need to get laid on the regular, easily, and for free. So they can regain their mental faculties from time to time and live lives which are the product of rational calculation and not reactionary spasms in pursuit of sex.
Whisper 6y ago
+1
TheRedPike 6y ago
Done
usernamegoeshere17 6y ago
Damn, if someone had put it in those terms for me I never would have done it. Marriage ended in divorce in January and I'm fucked almost as bad as the OP.
[deleted]
DerpHernandez 6y ago
The best thing I've seen for a divorce is making sure that your wife is chasing their "newfound love" and will happily take some money and run to get it over with ASAP.
Yes, dude was even paying for hotel rooms for them to fuck in.
I didn't get it at the time. I do now.
Voctr 6y ago
If your life is ruined like this, can't you just flee from the US? It's not great but sure beats killing yourself.
usernamegoeshere17 6y ago
When you're barely above the poverty line, CS sucks, especially when the state wants 1/4 of what you make. Not sure about everyone else who has a middle class job, but when you're barely making it on $15 an hour, 25% of that is a lot
Voctr 6y ago
It's basically theft, taking 1/4th of barely anything. It's insane how these family courts can get away with it.
I don't know your situation and how willing you are but consider it. Flights aren't so expensive anymore these days and inside Europe there are a lot of opportunities to live on little money. Could always teach English somewhere or get lucky and use whatever it is you trained for. If you're desperate enough there are plenty of ways is all I'm saying.
[deleted] 6y ago
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Voctr 6y ago
I'm thinking that in this situation there is no chance and hope to return ever again. Probably best to disappear of the earth completely and start a new life elsewhere. I'm sure it would be difficult but if you have no choice?
unpluggedoasis 6y ago
I would probably try to get into a life of crime. You would already be a criminal in the eyes of society.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
rapidprogram 6y ago
an illogical statement just like the soulmate myth.
Experience teaches best and they most probably won't repeat the same mistakes.
Your_Coke_Dealer 6y ago
Renouncing citizenship is easy. But it’s highly discouraged and risky because you could very well wind up stateless and with no legal protection. The hard part is becoming a citizen elsewhere.
juliusstreicher 6y ago
Renounce citizenship, go to California, get child supported
WholesomeAwesome 6y ago
probably cheaper to just be a permanent traveler
Your_Coke_Dealer 6y ago
That would still require you pay taxes and child support/alimony
WholesomeAwesome 6y ago
madness. the whole point of being a permanent traveler is you stay out of extraditive countries and are never eligible for taxation.
Your_Coke_Dealer 6y ago
Death and taxes, man. And if I were to make a bet, the IRS would catch you faster than the grim reaper
WholesomeAwesome 6y ago
whatever man stay in the matrix and tell everyone about your learned helplessness regarding it
[deleted]
afkb39sdfb 6y ago
Cash out and bail
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extradition_law_in_the_United_States#International_extradition
TheBlackAlistar 6y ago
Just paddle board into the atlantic
[deleted]
[deleted] 6y ago
This reminds me of this story from Terrence Popp.
ethiczz 6y ago
Fucking lol, this has NOTHING to do with marriage, more like with WHO you agree to be married and coming from that, people judging skills. If there were signs she was a psycho bitch before the marriage, and he didn't see it, it's his fault. Sometimes, it isn't as apparent however, then I fully agree with this. Marriage is a fucked construct, I'm happy it isn't as bad in my country as in the US.
dudeman456789 6y ago
This is correct as much as every jaded dude on this subreddit denys it
GrotusMaximus 6y ago
Not that the sentiment isn't correct, but the OP in the quoted post was outed as a huge troll; a racist and jew-hating shitposter. His account is most likely fake.
yomo86 6y ago
The punishment for founding a family is 18 years for a misdemeanor and life for an intentional felony. Don't be so stupid.
patriargate 6y ago
Crazy. But really crazy. Could Trump do something about it?
NoJobs 6y ago
Jesus, I'm going through a divorce now. It's really not a big deal because we don't have kids, but I can feel his pain. I have to try my best to keep my ex-wife calm and amicable because at any moment she could flip and try to go after a lot of my money and income. It's a fucked up situation. My lawyer told me she can also require me to pay HER lawyer fees. What the fuck?
SKRedPill 6y ago
To really understand what true abundance feels like, one needs to think about how you're gonna dealing with old age, disease, loss of work, money, your home, degeneration, dependence, isolation and death. And let me get the bad news out of the way first -- these things are the curse of the earth and they WILL come to you, sooner or later, if you're not ready.
What I see is that when a lot of men cross 50-60 and their testosterone declines, they start getting these fears. Most younger people marry and start families from this needy point of origin -- only to see that their fears attracted the very thing they fear. As men, we need to figure out how we're going to face these, it's not if, but when.
These fears when not addressed, keeps a man trapped and bound, hurts his confidence and abundance mentality, and it'll force you to build your life around a needy paradigm. The thought at the very bottom of your mind, is the one that'll come true.
Now how's that relevant to TRP? This. You cannot fully discover the things that make you a high value attractive man -- fearlessness, power, confidence and abundance without a healthy frame and a way of living that addresses these.
PS : And the first step one can do is -- yes, LIFT!
born_for_this 6y ago
But then, what is your advice for dealing with old age, disease, loss of work, money, your home, degeneration, dependence, isolation and death? How can a man prepare for these eventualities?
1v1crown 6y ago
The main reason I won't get married is that restraining orders can be filed whenever and divorce can be filed whenever. Marriage has been weaponized.
Tito312 6y ago
If you're not a wife beating pussy then there should be no reason to have a restraining order. Also, don't date, fuck, or marry raging cunts you reprobates
[deleted]
varlogmessages 6y ago
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ben1324 6y ago
I absolutely want kids.... is there any way to make this work
IClogToilets 6y ago
The OP is full of shit. He is trolling and a bunch if idiots fell for it. Yes there is a way to make it work. Best thing to do is marry someone who earn about or more than what you make and fight for 50/50 custody. Don't be tricked into 51/49. Kids are like stocks. Whoever controls 51% controls 100% of the money.
50/50 and if you both make similar amounts of money, you will both be contributing equal.
banjew 6y ago
Sorry but I don't see this having anything to do with marriage. It can happen to you if you knock out any bitch, marriage or not.
[deleted]
ramfex21 6y ago
My LTR of 4 years is starting to nag about marriage and complaining that I don’t want to get married. I’m not going to cave. I know too much now to even consider marriage
OneRedSock 6y ago
Not sure what these other fools are talking about "have you asked her..." or "have you talked about why...".
Fucking hard next, immediately. When the marriage talks begin, it's time to end. Once they got marriage on the brain, all they see is signs of marriage and commitment. She'll zero in on all social media about friends getting married, then bitch. Or she'll talk to a friend who's brother's cousin's sister is getting married, then bitch. It's just death by a thousand nags.
Been there, fuck that.
ramfex21 6y ago
Thanks for the advice! I’m working on getting out ASAP . Now she’s talking about buying property together. Apparently she has decided where as well lol. I can’t wait to be a free man.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
ramfex21 6y ago
I’m going to.. just sorting out living arrangement etc.
cloudspike 6y ago
lead her on. Tell her you need X amount saves up first. That should take a year and a half. Then propose, plan the marriage, and then dump her. You get good engagement sex.
Pastelitomaracucho 6y ago
I caved. But reacted and got out shortly after and without any financial damage.
My advice: walk.
[deleted]
4scoopscomeon 6y ago
Next time she brings it up, you should ask her why exactly she wants to get married. Unless you already have?
[deleted]
[deleted] 6y ago
I'm in the same boat man .. I've been with my girl a little over 2 years and she definitely keeps mentioning marriage, hinting at engagement, moving in, kids, etc.
Frankly, it's a shit situation because she really is a sincere, decent person. I just feel like I know too much now. The Easter bunny isn't real, so to speak...
ramfex21 6y ago
I’d feel an immense restriction if I got married. Like I see guys who are married, following around their wives like little puppies pretending to be happy with their circumstances. We all know that they aren’t happy, they literally have no mobility or freedom. Women love control. And they way they do it is with marriage and children. And if they can’t get a man to commit they literally begin to lose their shit.
SKRedPill 6y ago
Paternal love is real. Men aren't drone bees. They love children, they have a drive to pass on their genes and the lessons they learned to another generation. Children love and need parents and a strong family foundation. Trust and the needs of many is what built all aspects of civilization. But it's not possible the way people and the government are today. Men must take back their power to commit, but there'll be plenty of fools willing to get fucked over who won't get it until it hits.
If that's the only how men need to awaken to the truth, so be it. If you still want to take the risk, go ahead, but be prepared. It's only a matter of when, and how ugly.
VikingOverlorde 6y ago
You should probably sack up and break up with her at this point. Sounds like a big disagreement.
ramfex21 6y ago
Yea that’s the most probable outcome
beginner_ 6y ago
You can't just always break-up instantly. First tell her clearly that you will never marry. Then if she keeps to nag and does not enter your frame, then dump her.
ricksprison 6y ago
How do you handle it? I usually give them the “it wouldn’t change the dynamic of our relationship, so what’s the point?”
ramfex21 6y ago
And you are right... it would change everything. I’m not going to roll the dice on that shit.
I’ve just told her I’m not interested in marriage and I don’t see the point in it. Like why do I need to sign a legal document to show my love? She wants me to list reasons to her. Then I give her some stats or something about shitty marriage and divorce rape and she says can you give anecdotal examples of this.
askmrcia 6y ago
I curious, did you explain to her that you don't need to sign a paper to show that you love her? Just wondering how she would reply
ramfex21 6y ago
Yes I’ve explained that I don’t need to sign a legal document to prove my commitment or love but she just brings up all this bullshit like ‘it’s the ultimate gesture of commitment carried out in front of friends and family’ . IMO she is anxious that she can’t get me to commit to marriage. I think it is a control thing for her that she needs to know I’m her bitch by agreeing to marriage. She says without me agreeing to marry her in the future she doesn’t know where we stand in this relationship. It’s all a load of BS lol. We’ve had big arguments about this, almost to the point of breaking up. Plus it doesn’t help when her friends are getting engaged and she’s like ‘why don’t you love me that much’. ‘Am I not good enough for you’.
We all know feminism is rampant and women think they are entitled to anything they want... she literally said to me ‘are you telling me I can’t have something that I want’.. I was like ‘with me, yes’.
I’m kinda expecting her to break up with me. I’m not going to be naive
askmrcia 6y ago
Ahhhh ok, I figured as much. Just was curious how she would frame it if you didn't want to commit with marriage.
My brother gave in. He didn't want to marry, but his wife pressured him to death. His wife's sister got married and her friends got married so the pressure increased tend fold.
He's not the happiest but he understands that it's his fault. The Good news is I can't see her killing him in the divorce procedure because she makes Good money herself.
Point is, hang in there.
TheRedPrince99 6y ago
Made me tear up. Yet the media will never fucking cover this as it does not serve the feminine imperative. Seriously.... shit like this makes my blood boil and very angry. The times... they be changin’
TheOriginalWasBetter 6y ago
Not getting married just means you have no kids and the lefties out reproduce us, and having kids unmarried means your kids are likely to resent you and become lefties.
Not saying marriage is the whole solution, but of course if you marry a feminist you are screwed. Dating a feminist was the mistake long before he married. You should not have any sex and definitely not any kids with lefty feminists definitely. Lefty feminists should be ignored and they have to go off and they'll have to accept their limited dating options, be single, or change and not be a feminist anymore.
That's the Left's goal. Screw the institution of marriage, break up marriage, and get the parents to hate each other so the schools can be the primary influence on kids to brainwash them into lefties. And also to import lefties from the third world.
If they are able to gather enough brainwashed voters to win most every national election then marriage will be the least of your concerns. Giving your dick away to some lefty skank who has no standards or values because you're horny is not helping the problem.
Find a good woman and marry her instead. There are lots of women out there who have values, standards, and who support responsibility in marriage. Don't date lefties and actually be a man who women want to be with, then divorce won't be a problem.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
TheOriginalWasBetter 6y ago
Conception? No. Reproduction? Yes. K reproduction has always been the foundation of civilized society. People groups who use R strategy reproduction never have the discipline or intelligence to advance technologically. Are you claiming otherwise?
demon666hades 6y ago
I guess you understand Mgtow now
Tito312 6y ago
Mgtow is a term used by Insels.
Blackkillerjoe 6y ago
I can't belive this, I really want to insult her, but I know we're better than this. We need to reform the law. Stop with this feminism. Let's search for real equality. No more men down. We must unite brothers
redd_reality 6y ago
180 day prison sentence for missed child support payment. Ahaha afraid I'd have to call societies bluff on that one.
They send him away, he becomes an expense to the state, along with the his wife and child. He stops working and contributes zero in income tax etc.
This system is laughable and I'd just as quick laugh in the judges face and tell him to do his worst. You may fuck me up, but you won't take my dignity or self respect.
Pastelitomaracucho 6y ago
Was married once. Got out of that relationship as fast as I could once the baby talks started to mix with the proposals to "open the relationship". That shit was ticking bomb. I'm never doing it again.
I have gotten to know about my ex since then: she's still having a hard-working, career-driven life as an independent woman. Good for her, but a massive lesson for me and all of us: once they are bored with life, they just want to attempt to spice things up at OUR expense.
In other news, all my married friends are unhappy, 50% of my close female friends are cheating on their husbands or boyfriends while trying to "reinvent themselves", "find who they really are", "exploring polyamory" (without telling their men) and so on.
I get them, both boys and girls. Married life is boring. Routine is boring. But we men are generally on the pink end of the cock if we enter into a marriage contract and things go south.
SKRedPill 6y ago
Two things need to go out the door from American and European countries
1) No fault divorce 2) Contraception
Life will be a bit more boring, but hey, much less abuse of man!
Skinnynomore 6y ago
Am I the only one that would fake their death and start over if this was them?
notbot7789 6y ago
I am so sorry women in our culture are so immoral its digusting im 20 i don't bother with women at the moment because of this
ep1939 6y ago
Could anybody link the original?
oguzhakstibil 6y ago
There is a novel in my language, a short but a great novel. Resat Nuri Guntekin’s Acımak, I hope its translated to English. This book’s about literally THIS MANS STORY but in 20. century. Strongly recommend.
t1g3rsh4rk 6y ago
This kind of ruined my day. It's unconscionable how unfair the system is. I feel awful for this guy.
IClogToilets 6y ago
The OP is full of shit. It is a troll post. Fight for your rights and you will be fine.
Tito312 6y ago
Or, just use common sense. Remember, there are two sides to a story and you already arrived to a conclusion by just listening to one side.
Tito312 6y ago
I don't cause I am more than one dimensional
t1g3rsh4rk 6y ago
Yet you suggest someone is one dimensional for having a feeling of empathy toward someone else in a specific situation.
That's like ... the ultimate example of one dimensional thinking.
Tito312 6y ago
Actually, I use the term one dimensional because I question the veracity of his post. I cannot reach a conclusion without details, and the largest detail left out was the other person's side of the story. I don't believe anything unless I'm certain of it. Let's be model Americans and strive to hear both sides of an issue and question everything.
COCAINE_ADVOCATE 6y ago
Even after watching my situation unfold (which is very tame compared to that guy, but still) my three closest friends proceeded to get engaged and marry over the course of the past couple of years. It couldn't have happened at a better time for them to see what can (and will likely) happen but they went ahead with it anyway.
Unfortunately it's like touching a hot stove burner. You have to do it once to know what it's like, but this pain lasts a lifetime. Those guys that get married three or four times, though, I really can't explain that one.
diagnosedADHD 6y ago
Does it bother you that your friends found people that they trust enough to marry? I am really sorry that you went through a divorce, I am sure that was extremely difficult for you. However, just because you had a lackluster marriage does not automatically apply to all others.
COCAINE_ADVOCATE 6y ago
Did I say it bothered me? My point was that reading a statistic like, "70% of women initiate divorce" along with the fallout being burdened by the male doesn't feel as real as watching my experience first hand. I thought they may reconsider or at least seek my advice. They didn't, and that's fine.
BirdManBrrrr 6y ago
Everyone who spectates a horror show of a divorce from someone they know and still gets married likely says "oh we're different...she's not like that...we're gonna do it right".
I did. Married and divorced within two years. Guys don't understand how quickly women change their mind; the ring is meaningless.
beginner_ 6y ago
It actually has a ton of meaning in that you are a beta pushover. No man really thinks it's a good idea to waste thousands of $ on a ring.
BirdManBrrrr 6y ago
Meaningless to a woman's sense of commitment.
Live under a rock lately?
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Gozsayin 6y ago
I would rather flee the country then pay child support for a cheating wife
Millixaw 6y ago
Just a PSA that child custody payments can affect unmarried guys.
Condoms... hell, vasectomies.
feros321 6y ago
Look I’m in my mid forties. Married the perfect woman. Luckiest guy I know. And I still wouldn’t ever get married again. There. From the guy who has a fantastic marriage. It’s just not necessary.
AvengerSentinel 6y ago
Do you mind expanding on why you feel marriage is unnecessary?
redd_reality 6y ago
Try explaining to the plugged in bp, that there is no upside to marriage. It is his idiotic fantasy you're threatening with your reason and he can't handle that. It's his life line.
Magnum994 6y ago
Your comment resonates with me much more than anything else I have ever read here about marriage, probably because it’s so short and simple...
Ieatlinner 6y ago
Get back to me in your 70s.
Im not saying I'd get married, but its a long game man.
StudntRdyTeachrApear 6y ago
As someone who is very interested in the challenge of marriage and building a large family, I would love to hear more of your thoughts on this.
HumanSockPuppet 6y ago
Lol he just fucking said, don't do it.
If you're gonna shoot your own foot, post it on YouTube so we can laugh.
Bisuboy 6y ago
Think about whether you actually need to marry her. How does marriage improve your life?
If you definitely want to marry her although the system is heavily flawed against you, make a good prenup. Let her get a lawyer different from yours. Let a lawyer check and accept the prenup again ~2 years after marriage.
Apart from that, find yourself a great woman. If you see serious red flags, move away or at least don't commit any further. There are probably hordes of Eastern European and Asian women that would literally do everything for you in order to be able to raise a family while living a life 99% of their country could only dream of.
theaspiringasshole 5y ago
Prenups are no guarantee and are often tossed out in court. One thing that does work and will protect you and your assets is an irrevocable trust. Get one set up well beforehand, and put everything you want to keep in it.
omg_ppl_are_stupid 6y ago
I'm the same as feros321. Happily married, life if actually pretty good. But fuck no if i'm ever going to get married, or even encourage my two sons to get married. Most likely there is zero reason for you to actually marry. I mean zero... want kids? Go adopt, go find a women who also wants kids and is willing to co parent, instead of marry and share living spaces. Otherwise i can't think of a single reason to have a women that close within your life. I bust my ass(so does my wife), and what do we really have to show for it.... no time for each other because we have two kids and no time together. Basically, we're co parenting and co habitating for the last 5 years since having children. This is all based on having children.... if you don't want to have children, WHY WOULD YOU GET MARRIED??? there is literally NO reason, i mean NO logic reason for you to wed. You gain NOTHING by marrying. Absolutely NOTHING! If you have any ideas that you have that you actually gain from marriage i would love to hear them.
My block of text is not cohesive at all.... i know this, and i don't care.
askmrcia 6y ago
I have to disagree here. I'm not sure if it's cool to have my own kids grow up up with basically two sets of parents. The mom that is co parenting will have other guys in her house who is basically another dad.
The same can be said for you assuming you're going to be banging other women that's not your baby mother.
omg_ppl_are_stupid 6y ago
What do you think divorced parents are..... which is a majority of everyone in first world countries parents. It's no different, just this way you never have to deal with divorce in the first place. Basically, my premise is... if you're desperate for kids.... getting married and divorced is going to be worse for the children then just starting off the parenting in separate living spaces.
FuckboyAWALT 6y ago
If you wanna get married, marry your best mate and keep your plates.
You don’t need to marry in order to build a large family.
vandaalen 6y ago
Here are mine: http://archive.is/yxzC1
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[deleted] 6y ago
Hey man I’d love to hear how you managed to snag somewhat of a unicorn.
Im in my 20s and for some reason my brain is hardwired to be a family man and have babyfever for a daughter.
Growing up Christian and growing up with stable parents that resolves their occasional quarrels like actual adults made me believe and strive for a similar marriage when I hit 30.
Im curious on how men like you and my father manage to snag loyal ones. Really am.
Merwebb 6y ago
Shit dude, i also have these things moving around my head.
HumanSockPuppet 6y ago
The times are wrong. You grew up in the wrong era. That's not your fault, but it's still your problem.
That's The Red Pill, right there.
You can't have a family and kids. Accept it and thrive, or delude yourself and suffer. Those are your options.
iknowthewhey 6y ago
What does the community still not get about this? There is no family anymore. We were lied to. Wake up and realize that you don't get to have a family anymore. Go out into the world in live. Do not take all this information and ignore the obvious truth. I don't care if you find your unicorn. It still won't work. You can be the most alpha douchebag in town. Your unicorn will divorce you, and run your life into the ground. How many more field reports do people need to see before they realize there is no marriage and no family anymore. Time to wake up and deal with the cold reality.
StudntRdyTeachrApear 6y ago
Yes yes, wake up and allow foreigners to out-bread you while you sink into biological irrelevance because making families is so much harder now. Defeatist mentality, so attractive. White genocide? White suicide.
Sengos 6y ago
So true.
I'm a 26 year old, and I can see through bullshit faux confidence in my age mates and tell who is trending upward and trending downward. And I'm also at the age where people I grew up with are starting to get married.
Since I work with mainly men who are 15-20 years my senior on average (engineering), many are married with kids. Out of all of them, I think 2-3 are happily married. The others are pretty sloven alcoholics. ALL obese, or morbidly obese. They hate their job, their wives, and their lives in general. They look for any reprieve they can find from their daily lifecycle. They are truly beasts of burden. They look like hell.
The 26 year olds in marriages, from what I see, experience pretty rapid weight gain. Makes sense, no that they are settled and don't need to keep up appearances for their loved ones. They look, health wise, to be trending downward. I can see the formation of unhappy 40 year olds down the road.
Lol, I can see the posts on dead bedrooms already.
The single dudes in their late 30s have a few screws loose, but they are happy. They definitely see life as still a half full glass and enjoy traveling. Some are in shape, some aren't. Most are slaying. Most have savings. They mention they can be lonely at times. And that's understandable when all your friends or coworkers are busy maintaining those awful marriages their in (in general).
Life is suffering. But you can to decide the suffering.
It's no joke out here. And HSP himself said it best.
mynameisfrankfurter 6y ago
Beasts of Burdens- that's all men are to society. That is what the government wants and that is what a women will take- why not when men go out of their way to provide this service.
To the men out there, As Nancy Reagan said, Say No to Marriage!
pmmedenver 6y ago
If you're lifting solely for women you're doing it for the wrong reasons. I'm 26 and I see myself still lifting 50 years from now. Its typical that men get into some hobby in order to impress women and then find out the hobby itself is better and more meaningful than any woman. Strive for greatness, not an excuse to give up. Shameless plug for Jordan Peterson's new book, it changed my life.
youngzari 6y ago
This post is so relatable as a man who recently hit 30. I can see the signs from my peers who are getting married, gaining weight you can foresee the inevitable effects health-wise and happiness-wise on the decline. It almost feels like they have this need to keep up with the joneses which puts their own needs in the backseat.
Sad!
laylowwww 6y ago
This is spot on. I've seen great physiques turn to schlub overnight at the hand of marriage.
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Sengos 6y ago
Not in the slightest.
They are all wildly fun to be around, and continue to push themselves to the edge. They still skateboard, surf, snowboard, ride dirt bikes, etc. They still party hard and some of them have some drug habits that they manage. They just go hard as fuck, that's all.
All in all, real fun dudes. Great friends.
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Sengos 6y ago
All good. I don't think I wrote it very clearly.
Fede10204 6y ago
I don't think it's wrong to have a few loose screws. I mean look at TRP. According to society we're all just crazy, toxic, males.
I mean, where's the fun in life if you only live according to some social rules.
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Fede10204 6y ago
Mhm, yeah you're right. It seems a bit strange. Well whatever. Everyone has different views.
bdebramo1 6y ago
God (not allah buddah or krishna) but true followers of Jesus are allowed reconciliation and a power higher than themselves to be held accountable to. This mess wouldnt fly. This man wouldnt kill himself because God can clean up the biggest messes know to man spoken from a former selfish POS drug addicted family destroyer.. Think about it Who in the politcal scene are fighting for families, unborn babies, and FAIR taxation (if it can ever be fair) and are the only ones who would dare fight for people like this guy, actively fight against the liberal indoctrination in our colleges and schools men and women, are moving towards homeschooling and the right to do so, and is public enemy #1 by the rest of the world? Christians (real Christians with conviction and a relationship with Jesus) Not to say we dont tragicly fall short but things would be alot different if everyone did think they were God and women didnt try to find themselves in another womans vagina. (Dont know why thats their first move)
My almost 40 year old neighbor divorced her husband to pursue her lesbian lover.. she had children.
But we laugh at the people saying REPENT... its only downhill from here. Hes made Himself known through creation if we would just get out this rat race/pussy chasing/adult pacifying nonsense...
Knock, He will answer, Ask, He will answer. Hes waiting on you, and it all starts with Jesus
feros321 6y ago
This answer has nothing to do with the psychology of attraction. Nothing. You are only Christian by virtue of time and location of your birth. 5 thousand years ago you would’ve been worshipping Zeus or some shit. Religions change. Laws of attraction do not.
Cairnsian 6y ago
Why would you be on TRP to begin with. This sub doesn't really attract your demographic.
ImHerWonderland 6y ago
That's not true at all. I wanted marriage and kids and bought into the fantasy. Then I got burned and ended up here.
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max_peenor 6y ago
Those that seek the real truth? That's a pretty broad demographic, though not a particularly popular one.
epictetus_irl 6y ago
I had three opportunities to get married in my 20s. Three different LTRs putting the pressure on over the course of ten years.
I declined the opportunity each time which led to the end of the relationship each time.
Still the best three decisions I’ve ever made.
Don’t gamble your livelihood and potentially your actual life out of fear of being alone.
The alternative is worse.
Ever married male friend I have? “Miserable.” “Trapped. “ “Made a mistake.” “Staying for the kids.”
One life gentlemen. Don’t fucking waste it.
Science4Lawlz 6y ago
I couldn't agree more! Affirm yourself and inspire millions after your death. Women are weak creatures who only seek to tear men down.
dbnuh 6y ago
That's what fucks with me. I'm 33 and I sort of want to settle down, but I know it's smarter not to. I know that AWALT which isn't a bad thing, but means that given the moment, they could decide to walk away at any point. So I'm glad I haven't gotten married. I'm actually the only person at my job out of 12 people that isn't married or engaged, and everyone seems to be mostly jealous about the time. They always talk about how I can do anything I want with my time. A couple have mentioned that new pussy would be nice, but most of them are just like "Fuck, the fact that you can go do whatever you want, or nothing at all, on your own time, without having to be responsible for any kids or be intertwined with anyone sounds incredible!"
I have 2 cousins that got married in their 20's. Same age as me. One is divorced and one is separated.
Jabroni421 6y ago
You can get married by the church, just don’t go to the courthouse.
redd_reality 6y ago
The entire marriage idea stems from a man's inability to realize the obvious. It is only his fear, nurtured by his woman to involve the state, which compels him to get married.
If he steps back, he'd see that the relationship was held up by absolutely nothing more than his performance in the smv arena. An arena which devalues the man who shackles himself like a fool to the whims of a woman.
Side story: I've been getting a high rate of flakes lately on tinder. Granted, these are smoke show 20 year olds. But, sitting back yesterday thinking about how a girl can go from spilling her guts, absolutely enthralled to meet and experience me, then two hours later, ghost before the meet up, shows how most women lack even the faintest scrap of integrity.
These are THE EXACT SAME WOMEN who will desperately try and lock you down with the marriage card, come 28 and the impending shadow of the wall. The thing is, nothing has changed, her integrity is still nil.
Integrity is a value which you either live by, or don't live by to whichever degree you choose, regardless of the situation or outcome. If she is a 9 at 20 years old or a 7 at 28 years old, although her value has fluctuated greatly, her integrity will remain unchanged. She will always be as unreliable as she was in her younger years.
Smv is the only thing that matters - marriage contracts are for fucking idiots who can't see past their own emotions.
[deleted] 6y ago
Marriage was a contract in past times. Now it's a fraudulent contract, with responsibilities and duties only on one of the 2 parties.
Only socio-cultural programming makes men still want/agree to take on it.
circedgirlsarecleanr 6y ago
Most don't have enough options. The average guy is likely to feel a strong 'connection' with the first hoe that comes his way.
[deleted] 6y ago
Yeah. Also, he isn't inclined to inform himself about such stuff before he's encountered serious problems and grief. Totally right — and I was the average guy too.
tanlkula 6y ago
Socio-cultural programming is a sole reason for TRP's birth. Its good that more men are aware of the consequences of this blue-precept moms teach their boys.
Scymnus 6y ago
I had a discussion with my mom and grandma about getting married. Told them to give me one good reason to do it, they said I would get a woman who would cook and clean for me. When I told them women aren't interested in doing those things anymore because they're all strong independent women now, they shut up real fast.
theaspiringasshole 5y ago
If she ain't like June Cleaver, Then you sure don't need her.
bdebramo1 6y ago
Before it was a contract it was a covenant. so YOU have also been programmed unfortunately.
_the_shape_ 6y ago
Yep.
Once you get the ultimatum or the "I just feel like I'm wasting my time" or "where is this going?" speech, the relationship enters the life-support stage.
[deleted] 6y ago
I was miserable, trapped, and staying with a mistake for the kids when I found TRP.
Im still married but things are very fucking different. I now choose to stay as I like living in my house and with my kids. but I dont need it and can burn it down and be just fine
That attitude has her clinging like a barnacle and things are fine.
I dont recommend marriage but its not inevitable that if you already sat in the game and drew these shitty cards that you will lose.
FireTempered 6y ago
Completely agree. It's a long trip to get to that point. Took me 3 years to get there. Just my curiosity, how long for you?
[deleted] 6y ago
From unplugging to true indifference about the same. 3 years or so. I remember calmly suggesting a separation and it wasn't during an argument nor waw I looking to gain an upperhanf with any ultimatums, I just wasnt pleased with the effort I saw in her looking to be an agreeable partner. She must have all along sensed I wasnt fully at peace with being away from kids and on own. It wasnt a dread of other women, it was a dread of being abandoned. Really primal fear I saw in her eyes and she became stepford wife
FireTempered 6y ago
Similar here. In the course of a conversation, she said (and I think she meant to threaten) why don't we just divorce. I calmly and thoughtfully said, maybe you are right. The difference was I not only meant it, I was at peace with it. Over the next few days after that, there was a complete internal release, a strange joy, as I had let go of my attachment to the marriage. The anger and rage emotions that had been so much a part of my life, drifted away. Once I let go, she latched on. Like you said, it isn't dread, it's not wanting to be left behind. She now says things like, "whatever you want, I'm here to make you happy, etc..", and she means it.
Maybe dread got me there. But like you said, it was not dread.
Auvergnat 6y ago
Not married here, but interestingly, it also took me 3 years post-unplugging to finally get to the point where I felt like I don't need LTR/marriage at all. Wonder if that would be a typical time to remove a deeply-ingrained belief.
FireTempered 6y ago
Seems that 3 years is common.
Persaeus 6y ago
will concur, 3 years for that plug to be nowhere near the receptacle
FireTempered 6y ago
You're a true wordsmith!
B_ILL 6y ago
If a girl doesn't stay with you because you wont marry her she didn't really like you IMHO.
ramfex21 6y ago
I kinda agree with you.. if she leaves because you won’t marry, that’s a good sign of what her intentions for you actually were. We all know when a woman is really in love she will do almost anything including going along with a man not willing to commit to marriage. If she leaves you, she didn’t really love you that much.
epictetus_irl 6y ago
Who said they left me? a man can leave a relationship too if he gets tired of listening to hints and pressure for rings and babies
Ramesses_ 6y ago
I get where you're coming from but marriage (lifetime security and commitment) is their end game. They might like you but not as much as they like that and if they have to throw you under the bus to get it they will. Think of commitment for women as like sex to a man. Very important and biologically driven.
Brickles09 6y ago
What is ironic when considering that 90% of divorces are asked by women... BTW, all girlfriends I had wanted to end the relationship. I was the one wanting “commitment for life”.
askmrcia 6y ago
Yup same, or they would do shit like start fights with me for no reason or something which would force me to end the relationship so they would not look like the bad guy that ended the relationship.
muhbaddoe 6y ago
Or they were fighting because they were dissatisfied. In my experience, men are dense. So little emotional intelligence. Both sides are so sad.
Auvergnat 6y ago
This is a typical bluepill comment, ala "just be confident".
Let's try it redpill-style:
Girls have an innate anxiety about long-term providing given that their SMV is going down rapidly past their 20s. Even if they don't believe this because they bought into the "sexy-at-all-age" blue-pill lie, they still have this evolution-built little voice in the back of their mind that say, louder and louder with age, "Lock in the commitment of the highest SMV man you can, ASAP!". This is inherent to their sexual strategy. If you're in a relationship with her, this little nagging voice means that she will feel the need to ensure your long-term commitment, aka to get you to marry her.
Now we know that girls will categorize you either as an alpha lover or a beta provider. If you're a beta to her, your resources and attention are your entire value. If you make it clear you prefer to reserve the right to take those resources away from her (aka not marry), then she will swing branch as fast as possible to a more cooperative branch. If you're an alpha to her, she will insist even more to ensure your commitment. She will be extremely frustrated if you refuse to marry, but she will stay because you're the best she has... and keep hoping she can eventually convince you... until the day she hits the wall and she will leave you in hurry to marry a dependable beta provider (and still fuck you on the side).
In any case, it's not about whether she "likes" you or not, it's whether or not she wants to get married to secure a male's providing for after she's lost her SMV. Some don't want it or need it. But if this is what she wants, there's about nothing you can do to prevent her from leaving you eventually. Now if you want to stay with the same girl forever without marrying her, here's a trick: just find one that is already married to a beta shlub and be her affair partner, or official cuckolder.
greatamericancities 6y ago
From my own experience (multiple LTRs that end when she wants marriage) this description makes perfect sense. Started to see a slight variation in this pattern develop with the later and most recent LTRs: Women wanting children even more than provisioning. They are willing to keep working or rely on their parents, which means the man they settle for can give them children without real financial or material support. These women still insist on marriage but that might only be a formality, a social requirement. They want to appear proper to friends and family. Divorce is no problem once the number of children they wanted are born and healthy.
I'm baffled that they're worried what people will think if they have children without a marriage license. Seems like society is okay with this now, but maybe it depends on specific families or social groups. They are not worried about what people will think when their (temporary) husband doesn't provide for them and their children. In this scenario the husband is basically a sperm donor. Once he has done that job he is disposable.
SKRedPill 6y ago
This is all fine. Only these days there are no consequences for anything women do, so I think it's equal parts hypergamy and equal parts arrogance.
While the evolutionary biology holds good, there's the question of just how spoiled people can get as well.
Skinnynomore 6y ago
No. There’s an art to being concise, and writing a whole paragraph to exaggerate what is said by his one sentence is nonsense.
[deleted] 6y ago
You didn't say anything different from what he said. If she doesn't stay with you...she didn't really like you. The only exception is what you said about leaving for a beta but still fucking you, but that's not really leaving is it.
beginner_ 6y ago
Interesting. When it came up, I told my ltr, I will never marry. She did not bail, yet. Also she isnt nagging me about it. Sooner or later I will see how it plays out.
Auvergnat 6y ago
How long have you been together? How old is she? How financially independent is she?
Ben_Eszes 6y ago
Way to go and make things more complicated than they need to be. The point is that the woman doesn't like you -- ever! She likes the way you make her feel, and likes the things you can provide for her. So if she won't stay with you because you won't marry her, then she definitely doesn't really like you.
Auvergnat 6y ago
Dumbing down concepts to make them understandable by a wider public is automatically denaturing the concepts. Saying that the original concept is complicated doesn't mean it's unnecessarily complicated. It only means that you are incapable or unwilling to do the intellectual effort to understand something and thus demand something simpler, despite the risks of misconstruing the original concept.
Women's sexual strategy as defined in TRP as "hypergamy" and explained as the dual "Alpha fucks, Beta bucks" might sound too complicated for you but it is the best model out there to explain women's behavior. For any behavior by women in your life, your first line of understanding should be "does she see me as alpha or beta?". Or in other words "Is she sexually attracted to me, or am I just a tool to provide her with something?". If it's too complicated for you and you prefer to use the "she likes me / she doesn't like me" model, then by all means go for it. But don't be surprised when the day comes that she leaves you even though she "likes" you.
Ben_Eszes 6y ago
If you have an objection to my claim, then feel free to make one. The fact that you needlessly complicate the theories shows that you haven't understood it at a foundational level. Ever heard of the "if you can't explain it to a 5-year old, you don't understand it" concept?
I summarized your drivel by saying:
So considering that, SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. Want to try and turn that into a college thesis? Go ahead. All you're doing is circle-jerking by making readers think they're smart because they understand big words.
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Auvergnat 6y ago
Damn you guys can be so dense. Alright, last attempt. Not for you since you made up your mind, but other readers: my comment was meant as a complement to the one above, which was meant to call out the comment to which I was replying.
This is obviously not compatible with TRP theory, which I wanted to expound in this particular case.
In short, the point was to make men here understand that they can't expect finding women that are so into you that they'll be happy you not marrying her. In very short, you can't "alpha" your way into changing her mind about marriage.
But all in all, I don't care if only a percentage of my readers understood that, and the rest vehemently disagreed or did not understand and decide to call me out on it. I rest my case.
EpicLevelCheater 6y ago
Do not sass ECs. 30 day ban.
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Auvergnat 6y ago
Cute. Alright, let's measure our dicks.
EpicLevelCheater 6y ago
Read the rules on your alt account, scrub - cuz this one is out of here.
[deleted] 6y ago
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jb_trp 6y ago
It's always funny to me (funny-sad, not funny-haha) when guys get overly upset or hung up on an LTR that doesn't work out. Like, when you're just dating, you're just hanging out, having fun, and hooking up. It should be easy, right? Like, you're just going out for drinks, maybe taking a vacation, having sex, and doing easy, fun shit.
But then it goes sideways. She starts acting bitchy. Or becomes distant and is losing interest. Whatever... And so the relationship ends.
But why do some dudes get so hung up on it? What's the alternative? You going to get married, buy a house, have kids, etc? That stuff is the hard stuff. Life isn't going to get better and more fun or easier when you do those things. And if it isn't good enough now, there's no way it's going to be better when you're doing all the hard stuff, and it's not just vacations and drinks and sex... It's crying children, mortgage payments, no vacations, and a dead bedroom... Then they leave and take half your stuff (or more), and find a new sucker to fuck them until they get bored, and they try to take half of their stuff... Rinse and repeat.
dbnuh 6y ago
I just think it's like withdrawal from stimulates. Sudden lack of dopamine and serotonin. I think that's a huge factor in why people get so hung up and upset when a LTR ends before the difficult stuff like buying a house or having children begins.
Docbear64 6y ago
It's that old saying right :
Men marry hoping to salvage / perfectly preserve that early honeymoon phase and the woman his wife is at the beginning of the relationship .
They don't get that THAT period is the golden period , very very very few relationships get better from that point so when shit starts going south don't desperately grasp to keep it , allow yourself to go find someone new and create those feelings there.
jb_trp 6y ago
And if your marriage is not going well... Just have another kid! /s
I have a female coworker that is in her mid-30s. She and her husband divorced a few years ago, but got back together. Then they had another kid about a year and a half ago (so now they have 4 children, one of them has autism).
And now? She wants to separate from him. They got together when they were in their early 20s... And even got back together. He doesn't want to lose her or the kids, and they even bought a house together. But... She needs to "find herself" and claims she "never has felt those feelings she wants to feel." The fucking hell? This woman is going to screw over her children's well-being just to chase some feelings?
I don't think she understands she's playing a sucker's game. No self-respecting man is going to want to date/marry an average looking woman in her mid 30s with 4 kids who left her husband to "find herself." The high-value male she is imagining in her head is too busy banging women 10-15 years younger than her with no baggage or children.
dbnuh 6y ago
Yep. I dated a single mother once and I'll never do it again. It never got to the point where she wanted me to meet the kid, but there were just so many red flags that it was a bad idea to get into a LTR with her.
Docbear64 6y ago
I promise all of them watch romantic movies, read romance novels , and listen to love songs, and think that the goal is to achieve something that the song perfectly describes 1000% of the time .
It's like teenage girl imaginations on overdrive no matter how old they get. She's going to divorce him , hop on Tinder for a while, If she's halfway attractive possibly meet a Chad who fucks her for a few months, and then when he dumps her she'll be right back on hubbys doorstep .
I can accept that women are shitty but these men who refuse to grab their balls and let these bitches die alone infuriate me . She's fucked you over and abandoned your relationship twice and yet these dudes just wait in the wings for the women to return .
It bothers the shit out of me.
dbnuh 6y ago
Yep. I dated a 29 year old girl for 3 weeks that was upset because I was on a fucking vacation out of the country and she felt like she wasn't being "treated like a princess" and "that even a lot of texts of appreciation" would be something she expected, even with me out of the country.
This chick actually thought she was a princess in a Disney movie and in other aspects of life she seemed quite grounded and not crazy.
Needless to say I ended that.
Docbear64 6y ago
lol Good shit , if she was that much of a princess when you were on a fucking vacation can you imagine what she'd be like at the altar during the the official "her Day" marriage princess celebration ? Her betabux better be rich.
dbnuh 6y ago
Exactly. Not only was I on vacation but I was at the bottom of a giant mountain in a tent with little to no cell service, and this bitch was talking about how "I wasn't calling her daily."
I don't even wanna think about it brother.
jb_trp 6y ago
You're describing my last relationship to a T. We were only together a few months, and we were just having fun dates, I was taking her outside and teaching her how to rock climb, and we bought tickets to go on vacation together... I mean, it should have been good. But somewhere along the way, BAM, it was like nothing was good enough for her. It was like she needed to feel these crazy strong feelings all the time and she couldn't be content with the normalcy of life.
And me? I'm not going to spin my wheels trying to make some chick feel all these feelings. If she's not happy with me, there's the door. There's always another young fit chick to take climbing with me and keep me warm at night...
Docbear64 6y ago
When I was a younger and fat I didn't believe this , I felt like there was no way a fit older guy could get laid more than a guy who was younger. I've been focusing on my body and health , working to get healthier , and every year I get older ,stronger, and more fit it seems like I capture more of the attention of women younger than me . I have more 24 year olds interested in me now than I had when I was 24 years old and younger.
You said it perfectly, there is always another one spend time with .
SkorchZang 6y ago
When they get that way, it's time to strategically vanish from her life for a time. It's a true saying that time and distance makes loves grow fonder, too much familiarity and comfort ("he loves me, he's not going anywhere") is the death of romance.
dbnuh 6y ago
No doubt. I got burned by this recently. This 22 year old girl in 2016 fell for me hard. She was all over me, and for months I paid her little attention. Finally, when it went down, we were inseparable for months, and I thought she was "different than other girls" and that maybe I could spend a ton of time and have an unhealthy amount of familiarity and comfort with her, and she truly wouldn't be like other women and get turned off by that.
Obviously we know what happened. She got turned off by too much of a good thing, and too much familiarity breeds contempt, and she started losing interest.
All of this was predictable, but I got too caught up in wanting that validation.
Lesson learned.
U-94 6y ago
Women show their bitchy attitude months into any relationship. Not sure how one could stay poker faced in 'fun gf mode' for months or years just to snag a husband. With my last gf, after the first fight, i was like FUCK THIS BEING PERMANENT and I strategized a way out from there.
57yearsoldgrandpa 6y ago
This is one of the best comments on Reddit
XLNC- 6y ago
That poor, poor man. This was a very expensive lesson he’ll learn from for the rest of his life. Marriage is a rigged game and the only winning move is to not participate.
Millixaw 6y ago
Child custody payments can go after unmarried guys as well.
kagetsuki32 6y ago
Yes but they can't take to much i think...
circedgirlsarecleanr 6y ago
You gotta stop feeling sorry for the chumps. They're normally the white knight clowns that will shoot you down before they get hit with something like this. And most will still remain that way till they get hit a few more times.
heelek 6y ago
I would call it more a not-losing move.
[deleted] 6y ago
Nobody wins in a society where matrimonial partnerships are impossible, and NO I do not mean the legal entity impersonating marriage as sponsored and promoted by the state.
kagetsuki32 6y ago
We just need to legalise surrogacy.
Broder45 6y ago
Serious question, would he be able to leave the country and start over elsewhere? I truly hope he doesn't give up on himself because there can be a way for his life to turn around and I hope it does for him.
I mean.. he could just do the classic coke and hookers in Mexico and maybe he'll see life isn't that bad after all..
https://totalfratmove.com/guy-goes-to-mexico-to-kill-himself-spends-week-doing-coke-and-banging-hookers-decides-to-keep-living/
_penseroso_ 6y ago
His only real choice. Leaving behind friends and family is a serious kick in the teeth, but it’s his only real option other than death.
I always tell seriously suicidal people to pick a small bag and leave it all behind, preferably to somewhere warm. Wherever you end up will feel like you died and were reborn.
mrcooliest 6y ago
Id rather put a bullet in my head than go to mexico to potentially have my head sawed off.
Etrangehumanoide 6y ago
He don't spoil the fun gringo !
FlagranteDerelicto 6y ago
If he does actually decide that it’s hopeless and commit suicide, he should self immolate on the courthouse steps like those Buddhist monks during the Vietnam war. And detail what led to his end in a letter to the local newspaper.
SovereignSoul76 5y ago
His name was Tom Ball.
"He was angry at the state child protection bureaucracy and the courts after a ten-year battle over a child abuse charge that became, for him, a Kafkaesque struggle with cruel authority."
https://freekeene.com/2011/06/16/thomas-james-ball-self-immolated-in-protest-of-the-justice-system/
You can actually download his final statement from the website. As expected, it is clear, well written, and factual. Just a man pushed too far.
[deleted] 6y ago
Just for interest sake, but "immolation" doesn't imply setting oneself on fire. Immolation simply means ritual killing or sacrificing and it can be done by any means, not just burning. I am telling you this because I also always thought it meant being lit on fire and burning to death and only found it doesn't a short while ago.
Quaboag413 6y ago
Remember Thomas James Ball
michael_wilkins 6y ago
Why? so they could run this headline?
"Toxic Masculinity claims another male life as the patriarchy leaves another helpless Woman and Child alone without support because men are encouraged to repress their emotions"
SSaturnV 6y ago
Fun fact, a veteran did this outside the VA recently.
Did you hear about it?
FlagranteDerelicto 6y ago
I haven’t heard anything about this and I read the news constantly.
Kinda proves my point of how corporate media realizes that the entire world economy is based on the American economy and that the system is much more fragile than the public realizes. They’re terrified of these stories depicting symbolic acts by people with nothing left to lose.
A few years ago a man crashed an airplane into a regional IRS office in Texas. His suicide note made it clear that this was intentional. Coverage at the time was minimal and now most people are unaware that it ever happened.
EDIT: Makes you realize that extensive coverage of school shooters including delving into their backgrounds has a purpose. Law enforcement always says that the way to discourage them is to limit the posthumous publicity they receive but the media fixates on it because it moves us closer to eliminating gun rights.
acidicbitchdotcom 6y ago
I started working in that office park shortly after that happened. What a weird thing.
Docbear64 6y ago
Is it an attempt to reduce gun rights or to promote gun sales? I see both sides of the coin but I firmly believe if american has a nationally recognized religion then it is the religion of consumerism they'll tell us anything to make sure we keep spending .
HumanSockPuppet 6y ago
Gun sales do go up in the wake of shootings, as you would expect. But the purpose of selective media coverage of tragedies is to steer the nation towards gun control.
Gun laws are usually enforced retroactively, so your newly-purchased AR-15 can be made illegal only months later. As long as the public can be brainwashed into accepting unconstitutional gun control laws, they will surrender their rights willingly, and that brainwashing is achieved piecemeal.
IvanTheCracka 6y ago
Self immolation is pretty fucking painful
Gozsayin 6y ago
Not saying he should do this but if he was gonna do it this would help the cause
Ieatlinner 6y ago
If you really want to get your point across, self immolation seems like a pretty powerful way to do it.
People would think "Jesus, what is he protesting that he literally lit himself on fire?"
But he would't be able to answer.
Instead, I suggest taking a hammer to your own nut. Go in the middle of MSG or in this case the courthouse steps, pull out a nut, and pop it like a paintball. People will listen then.
FlagranteDerelicto 6y ago
His answer would be in the letter sent to the local press. A man lighting himself on fire is a powerful symbol of resistance to oppression. That’s what kickstarted the Arab Spring in Tunisia.
Every time an American does it the only coverage is a tiny blurb that never delves into the cause. The media conglomerates ensure minimal coverage because they’re terrified of the power of that symbolic act to inspire action in the masses.
friendandadvisor 6y ago
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. In the late 70s, early 80s, whenever tf, some dude lit himself over the Panama Canal Treaty, turning it back over to Panama. It was a one inch article. No pics.
I think that there was one in a Manosphere protest of treatment of men, where the immolatee said that there was a 'second set of books.'
NO public interest.
The Arab Spring thing was, IMHO, a Deep State action. So.......if I am right, don't go torching yourself unless John Brennan gives you the OK.
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cakemuncher 6y ago
That's what I always believed as well... But idk, I'm 28 now and my thoughts are changing. Marriage has a sentimental value that can't be measured. My parents are happily married for 40 years now. I have friends that got married that I just don't see it any other way.
IMO those failed marriages happen because either they get married just to get married or they simply don't know how find a good partner.
I have been with my girl for 3 years. I wouldn't take 1 day back. She actually keeps asking me to get married to her but so far my answer has been no just because of my red pill beliefs. This might change because my perspective of the world is changing as well.
HumanSockPuppet 6y ago
Your opinion is ill-informed, wrong, and stupid.
Please present to the community one meaningful, tangible benefit you get from marriage, apart from a meager tax break.
cakemuncher 6y ago
Why are you such a dick? I'm in agreement that marriage is useless. My belief is that if we love each other we would stay together regardless of a damn paper from the government. I was just saying that I might let that belief go because I don't see the harm in it from seeing people I personally know who are happy in their marriages. And I know those people on a very personal level that the wife and husband both share their troubles with me and in general they're quit happy. I don't care about the tax break. That doesn't save much anyway. Yeah I know bad shit happens to people because of marriage but it doesn't happen to everyone and if you love someone you should be making sacrifices and taking chances as much they are.
HumanSockPuppet 6y ago
If you don't see the harm in it, then you're either illiterate, haven't been reading the sidebar, or you're an idiot. Regardless of which of those three it is, you have no business speaking on this issue. Your opinions and your feelings are stupid and wrong.
I'm a dick to protect newcomers from gullible idealists like you.
I've asked that the moderators ban you temporarily while you take some time to review the basic theory readings. Whether you see this as a favour or as an insult will say a lot about you and your readiness to be a part of this community.
Razor_Point 6y ago
Your marriage ultimatum will hit you within 1 - 2 years time max.
Best to read OP's post over and over again until you inevitably realize what you will need to do.
cakemuncher 6y ago
That's fine. I'll reevaluate then. It's not the first girl to ask for marriage. Those girls are in my past now.
[deleted]
bluedragon2388 6y ago
I can bet everything this dude ignored red flags, probably was a doormat of a sort, became complacent, went into the relationship on her terms
While possible, I doubt a traditional woman or a woman with no red flags would dye her hair fucking blue, cheat while pregnant, run off with feminists, etc.
Now she’s definitely at fault but don’t ignore the fact that the guy might’ve made some retarded but common mistakes.
Bottled_Void 6y ago
Actually, in this scenario, I bet it makes very little difference if he's married or not. Bring your own condoms guys.
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Linoran 6y ago
But...I found a unicorn.
[deleted] 6y ago
Poor man. No man deserves that... I don’t care if he was the most beta guy ever.
I’m never getting married.
sunbro29 6y ago
Can't a prenup prevent this sort of thing? I would only marry a woman if she was so wrapped around my finger she'd sign a prenup, otherwise, no deal.
askmrcia 6y ago
Yes and no. There has been cases where prenups were thrown out.
Also good luck finding any woman that would agree to one. Asking for a prenup is basically telling your wife that you dont trust her and those vows you guys promised dont mean shit.
I think pre nups work better for more wealthy individuals or people that marry just for status (IE politicians, celebs, ect...).
blackedoutfast 6y ago
play stupid games, win stupid prizes
FU-ThatsY 6y ago
This always gets to me. I don't know how you can walk into the most shadiest casino and not see the red flags. I can actually see a couple and in 15mins of meeting them I already know it will fuck up. People ignore the signs and signals and when shit goes wrong. They forget about that time where she cheated and they forgave her, or the other time where she went to an ex's house, going out late to parties and coming back pissed drunk, drinks, have no hobbies, social media is her only life, daddy's little princess, narcissistic, rude to people lower than her. Like they just block out everything and when all the cards are down and they failed to call her bluff, "But I thought you were different", Nahh son, you wanted her to be different. If someone isn't a good sport. I don't play.
Daspker780 6y ago
You sound like my old Drill Sergeant
VikingOverlorde 6y ago
He sounds like everyone on the internet
redpilledguy 6y ago
People on the internet generally are not that intelligent.
SKRedPill 6y ago
You should see what kind of books SJWs and feminists read these days...
circlingldn 6y ago
heres a simple fucking solution, marry someone that isnt a fucking deadbeat wife, more women go to college and more women study pharmacy/nursing etc
Johnnyvile 6y ago
This is a problem most guys have. They go for really low level women. Don’t marry the woman that is working at a low level service industry job that is likely over 25. They’re always going to want easy money and a sense of empowerment. I bet this women was already working at Starbucks and living with her parents when he met her. He didn’t marry a woman he married the equivalent of teenager at an adult age and her “rebellious” attitude is showing by dying her hair and going feminist.
[deleted] 6y ago
Yes I don't think all men are going to give up on marriage because there is just too much cultural history and tradition behind it, and because many men do in fact want to settle down. I do think that the greatest irony of all is going to happen though - going forward, it is going to become women who have to be big earners in order to get commitment.
Meisner1 6y ago
Why is the red pill community so against marriage? I do understand that right now the system is against men, but i love the idea of commitment and trust between a male and female. I don't want to just have sex with anybody i bone with. I actually feel like sex is like a gift for your partner. Just my thought. And surely a really rare portion of women still will put love over power and greed.
yendorion 6y ago
You can have as much commitment & trust without the need to sign your soul away, no difference otherwise except you hold on to control, if you're still into that kind of jam, have a non-legally binding but just as emotional ritual of your choice, fems also dig more that exotic kind of thing.
Meisner1 6y ago
Is it because in the US, marriage is so corrupted, which leads men to not marry? Cause i live in southeast asia, which may explain my view on marriage as rather a more positive rather than negative.
0kool74 6y ago
Just because you are living in a part of the world that hasn't been completely destroyed yet by militant 3rd wave feminism, doesn't mean that it won't come to a street corner near you sometime in the not too distant future. NO PLACE ON THIS FUCKING EARTH IS SAFE!!!!! What you wax about curiously you are able to do so because you aren't anywhere near ground zero. If you lived in the US, if you lived in Britcuckistan, if you lived in Germany or Australia, you might have a frame of reference as to why so many men are against marriage and cohabitation with Western women.
acekilo 6y ago
Marriage is for Government Support!! Fuck the stupid court system. 3rd world countries aren't like this!!!
Tito312 6y ago
You don't live in a third world country, much less all of them, so you don't actually know this for a fact. Fuck this subreddit, it's full of sockjizzers
atticusfinch1973 6y ago
Another strategy is to only get into LTRs with women who are financially successful but submissive and check all the other red pill boxes for a good mate.
I’m divorced and with shared custody my ex actually pays ME child support because according to my tax return I make less than she does. Learn how to hide your money properly.
My current main plate makes six figures and has massive savings but knows her place and I have excellent control over the relationship. It’s an ideal scenario if things go long term.
IcebergHermit 6y ago
Women are cruel and enjoy making men hurt emotionally and financially. It is a sick form of “grrrl power” to them. Something like this happened to me but without the kid. She dyed her hair red and started cheating on me when we were supposed to be getting married. Yes I am happy we never married but shocked at how malicious women can be.
papapinga 6y ago
It's because we are physically able to overpower them, whereas they need to resort to psychological means to exert force. Not condoning it just a biological observation
varlogmessages 6y ago
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suaressi 6y ago
and i bet it happened almost overnight. they can do a complete 180 on you and act as if you were never there to begin with
banjew 6y ago
It's called lightswitch effect. Not only they forget you, they forget that they ever loved you to begin with. That's why they say "I never really loved you anyway" they really forget it. It's some kind of evolutionary shit they have programmed in their heads.
GarandTheftAvto 6y ago
IIIRC the leading theory (at least in our sub) is that it’s an evolutional adaptation for when a new group comes into the tribe and slaughters everyone, killing offspring and taking wives. It’s interesting as hell, in addition to being very tough to accept.
ilovecadence 6y ago
The theory that makes more sense than that is the simple, historical, Biblical account of what women actually are , which is a companion to and possession of the man and nothing more.
A woman experiences the light switch effect when she feels the man she is with is incapable of controlling her and she loses all desire to submit to him. Society has been intentionally engineered in a way that has rendered the modern male neutered and incapable of asserting the necessary dominance and control over women that is natural and needed for the woman to respect and desire him, and thus women are miserable and men are lost while music and television and false idols reassure us this is the way it's supposed to be.
Men and women are diametrically opposed in every fathomable way. Women are to be owned and controlled by men. When this dynamic reverses we see the human race disintegrate
ThatGuyIam123 6y ago
I wouldn't be about to kill MYSELF....
[deleted] 6y ago
Lol if i were this guy i would just go live in the mountains for a while... no social media or anything for a year.. just relax.. lmfao.. police have better things to do than chase some dude who isn't paying child support. And its pretty easy to duck the cops. Just say you lost your mind and you don't remember the last year! LOL! all you know is you just woke up on the other side of the country, or in another country, and you don't remember how you got there! Appear as dumb as possible so they dont suspect youre up to anything. Get a lawyer to find some obscure mental illness that has been observed in people with your genotype and that this illness makes people forget large parts of their lives. Haha. Better to lie than slave away for a bitch.
Its not that hard to live a good life. Just self educate yourself with some self help books and live as a free man. I recommend How to Win Friends and Influence People, the 48 laws of power, and the art of war. and i would never ever ever EVER give a SINGLE penny for child support. NOT. A. PENNY. motherfucker. No bitch is ruining my life. No bitch.
erzakai 6y ago
I wanna get married because I don’t just want to be banging random chicks for the rest of my life ya know. At some point I want security and sameness but these marriage horror stories and seeing stuff like this happen firsthand with my parents scares me.
writewhereileftoff 6y ago
Yeah that's called an LTR. No contracts or ceremony needed. As if marriage guarantrees security and stability lol that's what everyone here is trying to point out.
Pastelitomaracucho 6y ago
Sameness and boredom will eventually kick in. If you or your partner are still attractive and get yourselves into situations where infidelity can happen, it will happen. Might be you, might be her.
You don't need to bang random chicks for life. You can simply jump from relationship to relationship as soon as they start losing the kick. Once we are old, tired and ugly enough to stop that, then maybe we can start thinking about setting down.
chrisname 6y ago
How would not being married have saved this guy? You can still be forced to pay child support.
Hussy68 6y ago
Honestly he should just jump the border and get the fuck out
max_peenor 6y ago
What border? We've been super busy getting rid of those things. Good luck escaping governments that want to keep their milk cows paying. It's going to get to the point that you'll have to go to some of the most lawless corners of the planet to avoid crushing court orders.
mishasam89 6y ago
and people are surprised why i voted for Trump; lol.
which candidate was shilling for the "no borders" again?
uebermacht 6y ago
Useful link as the majority of TRP readers are from USA.
However, Russia is not listed so feel free to rawdogg some sluts in your vacation in Florida.
Some cuck will pay for a single mum for sure.
BurningOrangeHeaven 6y ago
Wow thats crazy but good to know i can still escape to Asia like i planned hahaha
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
If you want to run to another country from child support payments, run to a country the US does not have a good relationship with as they will not have an extradition treaty. This includes countries in the Middle East and Russia. Frankly, Russia is very similar to America and you can have a nice life in Moscow as it is essentially a standard metropolitan megapolis similar to LA or NY.
tenteddoobie1 6y ago
Marriage is a legal way to steal from each other. Feel your pain. My state is exactly the same and did the exact same to me. Finally after three years though with "No" job theu were forced to drop it to the minimum and report to them when I come up with a job. Only thing I can say is hang in there and it will get better
Bear-With-Bit 6y ago
When you get over how badly women behave in marriage, you will see how badly men act too -- but not with infidelity, insensitivity, or apathy as this culture will lead you to believe, but how spineless, self-brainwashed and weak husbands and fathers have become.
[deleted] 6y ago
Let's play: Who Wants to be a married fool?
Fiancé tried to poison me, can you guess why?:
A) She loved me but wasn't in love anymore
B) She was secretly in love with someone else
C)She was afraid of what I might do when I found out about her lover
D)I was forcing/guilt tripping her into a relationship with me.
Anyone?
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
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tteabag2591 6y ago
People in this sub are so bad about conflating "relationship" with "marriage". You can have a solid relationship without marrying anyone. You can even have children and not marry. The marriage part is you making a foolish bet just to flaunt how awesome you think your relationship is at the moment. Stay humble and just don't marry. You maintain the power of leaving that way. That's your only weapon in a gynocentric society.
IClogToilets 6y ago
If you are going to have kids, you should get married. When you break up, you will still be paying child support, but will have more parental rights if you are married and getting divorced.
sunbro29 6y ago
Why not just get a prenup if you really want to get married?
tteabag2591 6y ago
That helps I guess but that's like buying aloe Vera gel prior to getting sun burned.
GarandTheftAvto 6y ago
There is a wide belief in the sub that prenups don’t work and judges throw them out all the time.
IAAL, but not your lawyer- generally if there is a full and fair disclosure of all your and her assets, both parties were represented by counsel going into the agreement, and neither party signed under duress, they are generally upheld.
Note- prenups can pretty much never apply to child support payments. Courts exclusive use a best interest of the child standard to evaluate such payments. This is where many men get routed, like above. Courts have a demonstrable bias against fathers in custody and CS disputes. It’s not as large as we make it out to be sometimes, but it’s serious and real.
sadomasochrist 6y ago
A pack of toilet paper is a lot cheaper and you can get essentially the same results.
BiteAndThrow 6y ago
I would say the toilet paper would be more comfortable.
tallwheel 6y ago
If you have children, you can still end up paying CS whether you're married or not.
tteabag2591 6y ago
Doesn't mean you have to make it worse by risking alimony and all your assets. Child support is understandable in principle. If you make a kid you SHOULD be held financially responsible for it. How much the payments are could use some adjustment though.
THESkipp 6y ago
You don’t loose half of everything though.
IClogToilets 6y ago
Well, I would not be so sure. Depends upon what assets were collected during the relationship.
Flawless44 6y ago
Assets belong to their in individual owners.
Redasshole 6y ago
Told my brother some facts about marriage, you know, the usual numbers. % of divorces. % of divorces initiated by women.
Then told he would lose half his shit, wouldn't be able to see his children anymore and would give half his salary to his ex wife until the children are of legal age.
His answer :
I kid you not.
That's when I stopped trying to help BP guys.
[deleted] 6y ago
Send him this story and maybe his response will change...
Redasshole 6y ago
I don't bother anymore.
I mean if I sent him this story he would call me a misogynist and attack me.
Try to help and you get attacked. So why try to help anymore?
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
Same story. I realised literally today that he is a white knight type, despite having had all the bullshit happen to him.
Redasshole 6y ago
They are happy being fucked over.
Take my father. He is abused by my feminist mother constantly.
Whenever I would step up to defend him he would end up attacking me.
Whenever I would side with my mother and injustly attack him, criticize him...he would be happy and tell me I'm right and he would appreciate me more.
I mean I'm all for treating you right but if you punish me for treating you right and reward me for treating you like a piece of shit....
Those people live in a different world than us and none of us can't understand them anymore and vice versa.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
I can understand it to a degree; from my viewpoint it's a case of low self esteem and lack of understanding of gender dynamics. It can easily be cured (in the case of my brother) but they are weak, lazy and afraid to take a risk and 'lose'. Especially if time is not on their side any more.
havelbrandybuck 6y ago
What's the alternative? You don't get married, spend the rest of your life fucking random women and die without a family and kids, or you date a woman who doesn't want children? Marriage is the biggest life risk for men but it's the only way they'll have a strong family foundation.
comcain 6y ago
Women who don't want children are usually broken in some way. Or they change their mind suddenly at 40. The "biological clock" is no joke. Beware.
thedaynos 6y ago
isn't the alternative to get a solid prenup?
i realize with a prenup she can still fuck you over with custody but you minimize the risk of her leaving when she realizes she won't get anything aside from child support.
[deleted]
Redasshole 6y ago
Wrong..........
You can still have a family and not get married.
[deleted]
SKRedPill 6y ago
Paternal love is real. Men aren't drone bees. They love children, they have a drive to pass on their genes and the lessons they learned to another generation. Children love and need parents and a strong family foundation. Trust and the needs of many is what built all aspects of civilization. But it's not possible the way people and the government are today. Men must take back their power to commit, but there'll be plenty of fools willing to get fucked over who won't get it until it hits.
If that's the only way how men need to awaken to the truth, so be it. If you still want to take the risk, go ahead, but be prepared. It's only a matter of when, and how ugly.
havelbrandybuck 6y ago
There's nothing wrong with going into a relationship or marriage with knowing that statistically it won't work out - that's the mindset from the reality of the world we live in - however likewise all the doubt and caution you have with commitment links back to the fear and insecurities of your post and can be self-jeapordising to your family, legacy and relationship.
At the end of the day, all men can do is make their best judgement and choose a woman and hope she has similar basic moral values to not deprive her children of a father figure. Women simply cannot raise a child to a satisfactory standard on her own. Children are not stupid and over time, especially after development through their teens will see both parents for who they are, despite the warped view one parent tries to spin.
SKRedPill 6y ago
It's not a question of right or wrong. Thing is, your life will have to go on after the breakup. The question is - do you know what that involves? The consequences of a marriage and family breakup are on a whole other level to breaking up with your first crush.
For all the talk, no one really knows what it's like to get hit by a train till they do. Yeah, people do get up from that and move on and even thrive again - but you've got to be in a position to do that if and when such a time comes. There was one guy here who wrote about how he had to go homeless on the streets for a while. And then there's the emotional impact to deal with. Practically everyone here woke up only after being hit by that bolt of lightning.
And it will wreck your kids up. They better be ready for it too. If you're that bulletproof and abundant, only then it makes sense.
[deleted] 6y ago
If younger married, marry a girl with similar assets and a high paying job. That's what my dad did and when they got divorced both of them were well off financially.
Theguygotgame777 6y ago
I used to wonder why people didn’t want women to have rights.
It’s because they knew women would abuse them.
bigsmallkev 6y ago
I’m 21. I don’t ever plan to get married and don’t see any benefits of it. I’ve just put that out there so they can take it in for themselves and allow for me to take in their reactions, they brush it off with a sarcastic laugh but little do they know I’m just feeling the same thing as you. Thanks brother.
HannibalBacara 6y ago
If that shit happens I’m moving to Thailand or Ecuador lol.
DrBrainWillisto 6y ago
I think the real takeaway here is don't have a kid.
Millixaw 6y ago
Lots of men want to father a son, though.
DrBrainWillisto 6y ago
And lots of men have happy marriages without kids.
Black_Mesa_Dagda 5y ago
you misspelled "relationships"
DrBrainWillisto 5y ago
Well I’m married with no kids
jeromeantoinecarter 6y ago
Shit was all his fault too. Had a fucking terrible attorney and I have a feeling he felt bad about something and just agreed to whatever that bitch was asking for. There are no statutes that would take his one month of highest ever earning to calculate his CS off of, that is bullshit. He also said it was determined in arbitration, which means he AGREED TO IT! idiot!.
I am answering, and pissed at this DF because I am divorced to a land whale, pay $3,200/mo for another 10.5 years! Bitch wanted $7k/mo!!! Best bet for this guy or any guy is to go out an improve yourself from the divorce date status (just don't let her know). My income has doubled and I live like a pauper in front of her. Let that cunt believe she is killing me. Will say divorcing her fat ass was the best thing ever in my life. She gained 100 pounds after 2 kids, then wanted to quit her 100k/yr job that allowed her to work from home, and wanted me to give her fat ass more kids! Said Fuck no, she moved out, then when I didn't chase her, tried to beg her way back,,, no fucking way. Now at 47, divorced 6 years, I have enjoyed 20-40 year old women and had 5 girls going at once, and they all knew about each other! Fucking crazy how this RP works, compared to what you are taught growing up.
Also, Having a C-suite job, high 6 figure income, work out with the same strength as when I was in my 20's, TRT, hair replacement. Men remain desirable if they make an effort.
Thanks for the opportunity to vent, rant...
zevfern 6y ago
Modern society in all its facets has ruined the possibility of having a healthy relationship.
Incoming Brave New World, I suppose.
HumpyMagoo 6y ago
If you read that book you need to read The Wanting Seed by Anthony Burgess.
p_and_q 6y ago
The Forever War is also a good read for this genre
beginner_ 6y ago
It's kind of a perverse mixture of BNW and 1984. from 1984 we get the surveillance thing, rewriting of history (to some extent) and the party (eg. feminism).
zevfern 6y ago
Wouldn't feminism be the equivalent to that girl group in 1984 as opposed to the Party? The Party in my opinion is political correctness.
beginner_ 6y ago
Fair point. Mostly I meant if you go against the current dialog, you will most likely loose your job, friends and more. You can't really voice you real thoughts and opinions anymore. There is almost always that one white-knight around listening in.
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Banned-in-Boston 6y ago
I think this is the rubicon, if something like this should ever happen to you:
This is when you tell CS, or the judge, "No. I refuse. I will not do that. I will never agree to that amount. Either set a reasonable amount now, or take me to jail."
Jail is not as bad as poverty in slavery.
rman1001 6y ago
In my experience, the judge does not really give you the opportunity to speak. I was allowed to speak one sentence of 8 words before the verdict was rendered and the gavel dropped. For those going into family court, you might only get one chance to speak. Make it count.
max_peenor 6y ago
When you really look at it, the modern marriage contract is an agreement to accept small morsels of freedom in exchange for performance. This contract extends into divorce.
RedPillRobin 6y ago
You can legally dodge child support but it takes balls. The key to it is your never actually locked up for failure to pay because that would be debtors prison. Your locked up for contempt of court however you have to actually go in front of a court. Never get served papers and never go in front of a judge then all they can do is garnishment of your check. Get a 1099 sub contractor job or own your own business and now your set.
lorum_ipsum_dolor 6y ago
This would take the kind of guts few men could muster but as a negotiating strategy it has its upsides.
The court's primary focus is to get the case off its docket under the best terms it can. Voluntary jail short circuits this goal.
The downside is that Family Court Judges can be capricious and unpredictable. There are no doubt some that would say, "Fine. Have fun in jail".
zestytacoz 6y ago
It's hard to negotiate with a man with nothing to lose. And a man whose income will be almost entirely taken away will have nothing to lose
TitsAndWhiskey 6y ago
Agreed. There are at least three options I would consider before suicide in this scenario. This is one of them.
Pie_021 6y ago
Fuck that. Just leave the country. I mean this dude is contemplating suicide, just fucking peace out. Go to Canada, go to a Europe, go to some country where that shit don't fly.
havelbrandybuck 6y ago
When you're at the point where a woman has just taken your entire life from you, I wouldn't be surprised if many men resort to paying their ex a visit before knocking themselves off.
afkb39sdfb 6y ago
Go to one of these countries:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extradition_law_in_the_United_States#International_extradition
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Canada and Western Europe will extradite you back to the US. Go to Eastern Europe like Ukraine or Russia (easier to blend in). Or go to Thailand.
afkb39sdfb 6y ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extradition_law_in_the_United_States#International_extradition
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
So i wasnt mistaken about Russia Good to know.
chrisname 6y ago
All of those countries would also probably extradite a foreign fugitive of no political importance.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
At this time, Russia wouldn't extradite out of spite to the US/UK...they expelled most of the Russian diplomats and Russia is pissed so even a minor issue willl be made big by the Russians.
Voctr 6y ago
I wonder if they would put in that much effort for some child support.
chrisname 6y ago
If it got into the media, then yes, because otherwise the "long arm of the law" looks a lot shorter. Otherwise, yeah, they might not bother.
Banned-in-Boston 6y ago
Too late for him, unless he already has a passport. He can never get one now.
Pro Life Tip: Always hold a valid passport from age 18 onwards.
[deleted] 6y ago
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Flawless44 6y ago
Only for criminal stuff. CS is a grey area.
no_face 6y ago
I hear the tunnels under US/Mexico border are cheaper on the way out.
sunbro29 6y ago
This is definitely a pro tip that deserve the bold and larger text.
vandaalen 6y ago
Wat? He is paying his CS regularly. Why wouldn't he get a passport? Horseshit.
[deleted] 6y ago
**ANOTHER PRO LIFE TIP: CHILD SUPPORT WILL TAKE YOUR PASSPORT IF YOU DONT PAY, SKIP THE COUNTRY BEFORE THEY DO
Libertarian-Party 6y ago
Wouldn’t the real tip be: pay the child support while you slowly move all your assets to foreign countries then secretly apply for residency/citizenship, and when approved, dip out forever?
That seems like the best option. Pay the CS while you make sure the govt cant get another penny from your assets when you leave.
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KV-n 6y ago
Lol i got one recently at age 25 for "just in case" and hopefully it will be blank in my forties too.
Although as an eastern european the emergency i had in mind had much more to do with russia repeating their soviet era than my personal problems.
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KV-n 6y ago
last time russia invaded us in 1968 there were a couple days when people could still legally leave until shit got fully back to fucked up. There was a big emigration wave.
Idk how it would be again but i guess better be prepared for a chance than to have a chance but miss it coz you aint prepared. Plus sometimes the change is gradual and maybe there will be no new passports issued to people who ...... etc.
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anon35201 6y ago
Technically you don't need authorization to leave America (valid passport, good papers), it's not like there are soldiers, turrets and walls standing guard on the beaches of the Atlantic and pacific ocean.
With his income he could save up a month, or even take a small payday loan and buy a decent enough used fast-boat with enough fuel and food to cross the Atlantic in style. It'll be a few sleepless nights and a bit of luck with the weather.
Get your life back on track, get a nice job that pays child support and then score a big ass loan, take it in cash, and then POOF Where did johnny boy go?
escapeartist.com
Living in a tropical paradise, living like a royalty from the 1200's. Sure it's a good day when the store has bread, milk and eggs and you don't have access to first world health care, but hey, life is a permanent vacation where people wait on you hand and foot for an opportunity to earn a few dollars.
Banned-in-Boston 6y ago
A passport is not for exiting, they are for entering.
banjew 6y ago
Are you really planing to escape from women in this way? what is this, some kind of surreal apocalyptic future?
yes_thisismyusername 6y ago
He lost me at crossing the Atlantic in a second hand speedboat
LiveAFTSOV 6y ago
So close minded. Life is an adventure
Rich77u 6y ago
You don't think Europe or Canada does the same thing?
[deleted] 6y ago
It’s worse there... did you see the post about Sweden’s sex laws the other day?
[deleted]
[deleted] 6y ago
Yeah I was just using it as an example because I saw it in a post the other day.
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anon35201 6y ago
Did you see the one where convicted murderers in Norway serve their sentence on a vacation style ranches and live out nicer lifestyles with more amenities than earned by most Americans?
American's really do go overboard with the self-praise and American-exceptionalism of capitalism. You work yourself to death and get pennies thrown at you while men walk among you with trillions of dollars. And when asked of the reason for the gradient all you can do is shout its praises. Europe just has a more socialistic view where just a couple of the trillions of dollars from the rich get re-invested back into you dirt-poor people living on pennies per day.
How would you like to be immediately upgraded financially to have enough money to buy 15 houses with a governmental stroke of the pen? This is possible! Poor people defending capitalism is almost embarrassing, it's like a starving person in a banquet of food who loudly defends the gluttons who gorge around them.
In Europe you don't pay for healthcare, you don't pay for college, you get out of college and you start earning money. It's like Americans think America is the only place in the world where these things happen. It's why they say you should travel the world sometimes. Europe, Japan, Russia, China. You'll be surprised to come home and feel bad that you have to live in squalor while the people you visited enjoy a much wealthier lifestyle while doing much less work.
It's stockholm syndrome. You've come to love your owner so much, you'll bite the hand of people trying to expose you to life outside your cage. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/feb/25/norwegian-prison-inmates-treated-like-people NO! I refuse to acknowledge that I live like a small caged animal in the wealthiest nation in the world! I like it here! I deserve this!
LuvBeer 6y ago
No, you pay for someone else's healthcare and college. The welfare state has created a permanent underclass who live free of charge largely courtesy of a certain demographic, which the media simultaneously portrays as the worst ever to exist.
beginner_ 6y ago
Agree. America is pretty unique in their thinking and implementation of capitalism. The job market and jobs mostly are brutal, few holidays, many hours barley raises. Well raises here are also an issue but at least you get do slack-off, work your 40 hrs/week and not a minute more and as soon as I leave my office, good look reaching me and trying to bother me. And the 5+ weeks of holidays which you actually must take and not get fired for taking them.
[deleted] 6y ago
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Arnoux 6y ago
Certainly not in my country. Not working barely grants you any money here. You are european and you probably know how vastly different the countries are here, yet you talk about europe like it is one single entity.
adam_varg 6y ago
Its 50% when you dont count vat, property taxes and consumer tax. Then its 70-80% depending on your lifestyle and assets.
serviceenginesoon 6y ago
Know a pathetic 8 story complex in Berlin, where virtually all of the people living there dont work, dont pay taxes, get money from the government, run buisness with out paying tax, drugs, many there illegal. Its not a slum, its just pathetic and people get taking advantage in every way every day. Not knocking Berlin, Germany or Europe. Amazing Places and People, the ones that dont take advantage
0newinged 6y ago
Yea pretty much. I moved a few weeks ago. Before that i lived in a 21m2 room for 709 euro's a month. It was a students only complex. Prices like that are nothing special. It's insane
reddishworm 6y ago
To supplement /u/0newinged:
In Germany a deadend job will pay 1800€ before taxes. You pay roughly 200€ in actual tax, which admittedly is not much, but you'll pay around 400€ in social security contributions.
That will leave you with 1200€.
Rent, Electricity, Internet, Insurance, Phone? Left with 600€.
Food? Chicken is 6€/kg. 400€ Left.
Save some money incase your washer dies? 200€ left.
Have fun going to bars where a longdrink costs 8-10€.
vandaalen 6y ago
Let's do this again.
1800€ is an hourly of 10€. That is really fucking low. Even waiting tables will bring you more than than. But OK.
If you are Steuerklasse I, you'll be left with ~520€ of tax, social security & health care. So that is 1280,-€
I live in the city centre of Cologne, one of the most expensive places to live here in Germany and I still managed to find an - admittedly very small - appartment for 325,-€ altogether. For the sake of the argument lets assume you pay 400,-€. That's 880,-€ then
I pay ~40€. That's 840€.
25mbit at NetCologne cost 29,90€. That's 810€
What insurance? Haftpflichtversicherung? I don't bet against me & I also never needed one on my 41 years of living. What for even? If you absolutely have to get one, it's about 40€ per year. I think we can leave that out, no?
I only use pre-paid. Everything else is essentially a credit you are taking from the phone company. I pay 14,99€ per month for Internet Flat and maybe phone for another 5,-€, probably less. That's 770,-€ then.
No. Chicken is more like 4€. 200,-€ ist pretty realistic though, if you don#t plan on feeding of thrash. So 570,-€
Nah. Fuck the washer. You won't have place for that in your small appartment anyways. Go to a laundromat. We'll deduct 30,-€/month for that. That is 540,-€ then.
For ~45€/month you can register at a university here in Cologne, which will give you the Semesterticket. This means free use of public transit in all of Northrhine-Westfalia which is pretty well developed over here. I'll deduct this as well. That is 395,-€ then.
Gym is about 20€. That's 375,-€ then.
So you are left with 375,-€ for your amusement or for saving or whatever. That's not too bad in my opinion.
As a sidenote, going out is retarded on its own, but going out and paying 10€ for somebody to pour together some hipster gin and tonic, is missing chromosome level retarded.
reddishworm 6y ago
Thanks for the precise numbers. However, 1800€/160hrs is an hourly rate of 11.25, not 10. It appears you must have a high income if you can neglect a miniscule difference of 200€, which makes me a bit jealous to be honest.
But on the contrary this makes me wonder why you'd choose a laundromat over a washer. Same way I wouldn't wanna ride the town bicycle. Never would I sign a lease for an appartment that has no room for a washer, a separate kitchen, a separate bedroom and sufficient sunlight.
Considering what you said I could probably step down on internet bandwidth and the mobile phone contract. I pay 20€/mo insurance, helps me sleep better. I live in Bavaria and as you already know, things are a little different down here. The university offers no Semesterticket. I pay ~66€/mo for public transportation.
Yea going out is stupid per se, but I have not yet had a girl come over to my apartment without le date. Probably my looks/game...
vandaalen 6y ago
A coffee is 2,50€ and a walk in the park is for free.
[deleted] 6y ago
Have fun paying more taxes and having the government give you everything.
anon35201 6y ago
You are aware that poor people don't actually pay any taxes.... right?
When a poor person pays $1000 in taxes, the rich person pays $1000000000 in taxes.
Sure you end up paying $2000 instead of $1000, but you get back a substantial part of the money that the rich person paid in. You prefer paying the $1000, and letting the rich guy keep his trillions. Stockholm syndrome plus cognitive dissonance equals a starving man being shown a cake and him throwing it down because that's not right! That's not how I was taught!
[deleted] 6y ago
What the fuck are you talking about. They’re still paying taxes.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
So you're saying "punish the rich for being successful and workung hard and make it so that people aren't motivated to become rich anymore if they get punished by exorbiant taxes for it"?
anon35201 6y ago
I challenge you to find me someone with 100m dollars or more liquid assets with a million dollars a year income per year, or per month, who has performed a decent hard day's work at least once or twice in the last 10 years.
Also, on the flip side, I challenge you to find someone currently getting pummeled by poverty who hasn't worked a grueling 20, 40, and sometimes 60 hour week every week for the last ten years in exchange for peanuts, barely enough to survive.
You are using words, they are grammatically correct, and are of the subject matter, but they're just distant echos of the rich people who put them there for regurgitation here.
I've known a few very rich, and I've known many super-poor. My conclusion is that the rich people don't work, they have their money work for them. The poor and middle classes are the only people who work because if they don't, they don't eat. Exactly like is how it ought to be.
Also, you're implying that the "Rich people pay more taxes" then saying "oh if it were that way, bad things would happen!". I'm not suggesting a change, I'm saying how it already is. The rich already pay 99.9% of the taxes right now, and the poor currently pay 0.01% of the taxes" That's the way things operate now, and here here you are, trying to get rich even though you haven't a wing or even a prayer. It's almost a textbook case of stockholm syndrome.
I could draw the correlations between you and a farmer's livestock who's been trained to fix the cage that confines them and harm anyone who suggests otherwise, but I think you have enough to say if the shoe fits.
You menace with words saying: "oh no: If it's that way, then people won't work to get rich!". Trust me bro, they will, because having access to money means you don't need to work, you just point at the work to be done and the money does the work. Money is employees. Money is equipment. Money is opportunity. Equipment plus employees plus opportunity equals return on investment of which you get to keep all of it and toss penuts at the horse that brought it to you. It's the horse that pulls the wagon, the rich man rides in it.
The reason a CEO is paid more in the last 3.2 seconds than you can earn in a whole year through stock options is because of your complete lack of understanding, it's a complete breakdown of being able to see what is right in front of you. The fate for a person which such poor reasoning skills is to be precisely in the state you are in, while blaming others for describing the problem as misguided.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Jeff Bezo's, Elon Musk, etc. If you think running a business the size of amazon or tesla/space x is easy or just requires you to sit back, you know nothing and are frankly delusional.
If they are working hard and getting peanuts they screwed up somewhere in their life. The likes of Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, guys on Wall Street work 80-100 hour weeks - most guys drop out of wall street within 3 years, the ones that remain and reach the 5 year mark will get rich but they become reliant on drugs because its so fucking hard. Doctors can easily work a 100 hour work week too, but fucks like you want to tax them because you think they make too much for no reason.
I think youre lieing about knowing rich people, because if you did you'd know how hard they work(ed) to get that money. And even if what you said was true, then they are smart and make their money work for them something that the lower and moddle class should emulate rather than buying 72 inch plasma tv's on welfare money/credit. Lets face it, the lower/middle class make terrible financial decisions that keep them in the middle class. They dont think of money correctly.
And I am saying thats a bad thing, because the goverment is punishing success. Also, you do realize that unlike the poor, the rich have the ability to avoid paying taxes by using offshore accounts and other sneaky means that are not availble to the middle class let alone the poor? What you are suggesting is a Communism style wealth redistribution scheme from the rich to the poor.
Who said? Same could have been said of Jeff Bezos when he was struggling to launch amazon.
The way i see it is you are a commie in disguise or a bleeding heart, hippy faggot with no idea how the world works. Everything you say is pure delusion, it sounds nice but is impractical and hurts the country more than it helps.
Youre right, they will but not in the country that exorbiantly taxes them. They wont want to pay an extra penny they worked for to fund some obese piece of shit who spends all his money on food, video games and other shit.
This shows you have no idea what you are talking about. You have to work EVEN harder when your business grows.
And rightfully so, you made the business, you made it successful enough to give people the opportunity to work there...i dont think "horse" is the proper analogy...it should be a bunch of ants bringing a small piece to make a larger piece of the whole that made up your vision
And what state is that? I am doing quite well for myself and will be making between $500,000 to $800,000 by the time I am 35 due to making the correct career choices and business decisions. I dont want to be taxed by fucks like you to feed poor fucks with shitty decision skills. Let it be in the capitalist manner - everyone pulls themselves up by their bootstraps and those that don't are beggars.
sirbenoit55 6y ago
If I could give a standing ovation to this reply I would. The amount you say you'll be making by 35 is astounding and if you don't mind, you have any advice for this 27-year-old guy living in Canada who's about to start a commerce degree which will hopefully lead to law school? I've been doing forex and recently have been reading up on stocks as well. Over the last 4 years, I saved for school and to invest (up to 30k) any investment tips as well?
Thanks and your reply will be much appreciated.
Hyper_Sonik 6y ago
Buddy I went through a very similar situation in the past year and a half. My high school sweetheart was pregnant with my son. I was supportive to the nth degree. She dumped my ass on valentine's day and ignored me the entire pregnancy. Right after the baby was born she starts going out with her ex who had been in jail. They broke up after about a month. We got back together. I knew it wouldn't last but wanted to see my son for the first time and spend as much time as possible. 5 days before Christmas she texts me at work saying it was a big mistake for getting back with me and that she was going to go back with her ex who was in jail. Can't imagine the pain. But it's slowly getting bether. Trust me, the pain numbs. I haven't seen my son in almost 2 months and it's he'll. I made one last Stand with her on the phone and told her she will call me to come to and understanding or I will not call or text. I did that because she was trying to pull a power play on me, demanding I pay her monew, pay for a bunch of shot even though she gets a LOT of money for the baby from the government, and her insistence that her ex is going to have a talk with me. I recognized the cuck frame she was trying to put me in and walked away. Still haven't heard from her. Ran into her parents a couple weeks ago and they were sympathetic. The sad and painfull part is I have to walk away in ghost.mode in the hopes she pulls back into my frame and from there I won't give and inch. Ice been reading TRP for the past year but it's really this situation with her and that I have been able to recognize paralells and RP lessons. I know what NOT to do. Anyways, our story isn't uncommon so don't beat yourself up. Just realize AWALT. And talk to the courts because the will adjust your payment to fit your income.
yoghurtorgan 6y ago
Talk to a lawyer to see what your options may be, if the other guy was in prison for violent things it may sway a judge.
norcalguy510 6y ago
So have you initiated any motions to get 50% custody? I understand how you feel, but you cannot afford to react, instead plan, and act.
[deleted]
JJ3314 6y ago
It’s hard to feel empathy for women when you hear stories like this. I agree. Unfortunately this scenario is not at all uncommon, and there are decent numbers of women who would provide emotional support to a friend engaging in this sort of behavior as well. Young men really need to get their wits about them early. This is a war, but it’s largely being fought on psychological grounds, and in the courts, academia, and media.
Denver_Luv3 6y ago
I don't want to hit you when you're down, but have you gotten a DNA test? If not, that should be your one number priority right now.
Hyper_Sonik 6y ago
I dont want a DNA test because then I'd get taken to the cleaners. It would ruin me. Sad place to be in.
Denver_Luv3 6y ago
I don't understand what you mean here. If you get one, and the baby isn't yours, you should get a lawyer and argue that you're not the actual father and thus not responsible.
Laws vary by state, but that's a good place to start.
[deleted]
sadomasochrist 6y ago
Understand the feelings you have right now are essentially ego. Just give distance and with time a relationship will likely naturally grow, but enforce your boundaries.
But again, understand your desire right now that is overwhelming you likely doesn't accurately reflect how you'd feel if you had time to meet your child and let them into your heart.
Having kids is straight work, and the nurturing is a female duty. You're operating on male duty and honor right now.
I hope in the future I have a way of helping guys like you but I don't think this is any easier than convincing guys about the way it is in the first place. Having kids is its own "unplugging."
pro-complainer 6y ago
The thing is that American Laws are somewhat super strict on divorce ... almost oppressive to the husband ... in other countries where the laws are more relaxed, you don't get into the quoted situations
But to answer the question, don't get married unless you and your spouse are religious people. Marriage is based off religion, so makes no sense why you'd want to if you aren't?
imheregonow004 6y ago
Marriage itself isn't a bad idea. Its the culture nowadays that puts people of it. Far too much financial restrictions on the man by people of law.
BurnoutRS 6y ago
"Not at all. my wife took our baby when she dyed her hair blue..." fucking died, Im not even past the first sentence and im dead
jiminy fuckballs though, this guy should actually flee the country. like, at some point you have to accept that you've only been given one life. alot of us were lucky enough to have some kind of shephard to guide us through the retard younger years and prevent us from committing some irreversible fuckup. Then you reach this point where you're making decisions for yourself. you start off with all this potential, you're like 18-20 ish and gradually the decisions you make start to limit and take away that potential.
you choose a career path and doors close, you buy land somewhere and tie yourself up, you get married and you close off a fuckload off doors. I look at marriage as a fucking disability. I have a brain injury thats going to follow me for the rest of my life. Im a potential liability to any employer should they put me in a position where my cognitive impairments could make me a danger for others or the company. Thats closed some doors off for me. thank fuck I didnt get fucked up more in the accident. Would you rather lose your legs or have to pay a bitch 1000 dollars a month? at least with the 1000 a month you can fuck off to some country. that might as well be a death warrant in the country it was issued in. There's nothing there for you anymore. You had one life and guess what, you went and got married, divorced, and lost your america privileges (or wherever)
this guy wont abdicate. he'll eat a bullet, or find a way to keep paying. it's shit honestly. I feel for him because, like me, he probably didnt have anybody there to say "listen women are fucked and you should make it your priority not to make any decisions that are going to seriously effect the rest of your life before you've really figured out what you want that life to be" and a little bit of "there are some things in life that are permanent. among them are death, disability, herpes and child support"
PoorlyTimedPun 6y ago
Curious what state this is in cause that's not at all how child support works (at least in mine). If unpaid for 90 days they take your license. They'll garnish wages but no jail time. Also you can pretty much file your own custody paperwork and they use a fancy support calculator to figure it out, any morons dog could see this is an absurd amount and have it redone.
sezamus 6y ago
JUST DON'T DO IT... EVER!
I live in Poland - ultraconservative, catholic country and guess what? Married/engaged girls are the first ones to hit on me. The more they know me, the more they want me. Unexperienced, young girls get shy, but married ones get all touchy, while their beta sits at home or "goes with the guys".
You want to "Let her boyfriend/husband worry" than be the idiot who worries why she is coming home so late.
u/Whisper, if it was not for you, I would not see that shit with my own eyes. I adopted the mentality you suggested, that her social deal is not my responsibilty, so I escalated things and my eyes got opened.
snapreader 6y ago
Pretty sure this is how murder made me famous, got its start. I cant tell if the sub as a whole is cynical or there are really a crap ton of shitty females out there. Ive been doing my homework & the game seems rigged, very rarely if ever in the mans favor. Keep your head up op...btw js moving out of the country an option? Like an automatic do-over?
TheProphetPhysiquiel 6y ago
The biggest reason women got married before was for security for herself and her children. Now, they can get the security without having to stick around with their beta husbands. Their lack of foresight coupled with the newfound feminine entitlement leads them to believe they can dick around and someone else is going to reward them with another marriage later on.
TitsAndWhiskey 6y ago
Well, I mean they probably CAN find another chump. At least for now. Men are slowly starting to wise up, but bluepill chumps are still the majority.
Rian_Stone 6y ago
And before any girl who hears this brings up upper class women, and give a sophisticated "don't be poor" argument...
Exactly what annual income makes a woman act right? Wait for the answer.
mishasam89 6y ago
lol
these-days, even the princes of Dubai couldn't keep a chick in check
RedPillCoach 6y ago
Brad Pitt made plenty of money and he got the you are an abuser routine because he dared to raise his voice with the kids.
Rian_Stone 6y ago
Celebs are professional sociopaths, they never count
Rollo_Mayhem3 6y ago
SIX of my friends are married and still married. Actually there have been no divorces after 10 to 15 years...I actually don't know anyone from my group of friends that got married within 3 years out of college that got a divorce. For all intents, they were equal to higher value than the girl... maybe that explains it.
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Hoodwink 6y ago
When she makes more than you and isn't willing to give up her career?
Because then she is paying child support?
BirdManBrrrr 6y ago
Depends who has custody, if she has custody she's likely still going to get child support regardless.
darla10 6y ago
Yep. As long as he doesn’t cheat.
Entropy-7 6y ago
If you are rich, get an agreement that makes sure you pay the lawyers more than her. If you are poor, stay poor and you can't be gauged later (actually incorrect, usless men married to useless women have been hit with huge alimony even if they made it big once freed from their shackles.)
U-94 6y ago
This was brutal. But that 'corpses' line at the end made me chuckle.
Chuckling aside, yeah never fucking marry. I saw how miserable was my father was when I was a kid. I asked my mom "Why isn't Batman married?" - "He's a bachelor" and I thought....yep...that's the ticket for me.
eagle_shadow 6y ago
I'm sorry, but a good chunk of this is complete bullshit.
Texas does not base CS on one month of pay, but on the last year's earnings prior to divorce.
Restraining orders do not mean a higher rate of achieving custody.
There is free legal help for both men and women in Texas.
95% of all custody cases do not go to women. More and more men are challenging custody, and men who do challenge for custody get custody the vast majority of the time.
How do I know this? Because I got a fucking divorce in Texas and won. I beat everything this man said he faced because I faced it, too. Control your emotions, document your shit, and do what is best for your kids. If she truly is a fuck up, you will win. In short, be a goddamn man and stop whining by blaming the woman.
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thedaynos 6y ago
i agree much of this HAS to be bullshit as i know a good handful of super damaged women who only get to see their kids like 1 or 2 days a month and under strict supervision. And i'm in one of the worst states for divorce for men.
fokm 6y ago
Another user in he original thread went through dudes comment history and yes, this is a troll post it seems.
What really sucks is that it’s completely plausible barring those details.
eagle_shadow 6y ago
It's plausible, but only if you literally do nothing. My frustration is that this sub is supposed to be for men to better themselves, but all too often it turns into a woman bashing echo chamber.
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[deleted] 6y ago
That's not really valid since the entire "family court" (puke) system is rigged against men in favor of women... so even if you do have a "good case", they can still easily win. Sounds like you got lucky.
eagle_shadow 6y ago
Yes, it is valid. The op was making excuses that were totally within his realm of control. You can either be pissed and bitch, or do something about it. I didn't get lucky. Stats are showing more men are fighting stereotypical expectations in family court, and they are winning more often than not when they do. And isn't that what this sub is supposed to be about---improving ourselves as men? Or, are we supposed to whine and bitch when the odds are supposedly against us even though we can do something about it?
StudntRdyTeachrApear 6y ago
Awesome insights brother. Really appreciate it.
[deleted] 6y ago
You can still not be married and pay child support
acekilo 6y ago
Last time I heard the name Tito was in Belize. He was gay and he ended up dead. My country don't tolerate batty man!!!! Pussy Hole!!!!!
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atlantique16 6y ago
Lol the title of this is irrelevant. You’ve presented a marriage gone bad. There’s plenty of relationships that are healthy so nice of you to cherry pick a bad one.
ramfex21 6y ago
Married couples want to appear to everyone that they are happy and made the right decision. We have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. And based on how bitchy and manipulative women are I doubt many married men are truely happy in their marriages. Maybe only about having children
CapnPoot 6y ago
A lot of people want to agree with you, but the unfortunate reality is that its just not possible. I come from a religious family/community, and the amount of cucking/cheating/personality disorders is astounding - 99% of the “healthy” relationships you see are shams perpetuated to procure social media content.
atlantique16 6y ago
Well that’s false. You’re telling me there’s no healthy relationships in the world. That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard all day. Obviously the world isn’t sunshine and lollipops but have fun trying to bring a child into the world with the mindset relationships don’t work. He will grow up more distorted than you are with one father figure and one woman figure separate in his life. He’ll have no idea what relationship to model and will end up fingering his butthole with a star wars action figure because he has two opposing forces telling him two different things.
CapnPoot 6y ago
I never said “all relationships aren’t unhealthy” - I said 99% aren’t. Also, I never said anything about raising a child in a single-parent home. That is obviously not ideal, as many studies have shown. The issue is that this current generation is extremely unhealthy in terms of social behavior, and it will only get worse, assuming current trends continue.
atlantique16 6y ago
Ok learn how to communicate and have a healthy relationship.
Problem solved :D
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CapnPoot 6y ago
Thats good advice for making the best of any relationship, but my point is that these days most relationships are tainted by underlying societal issues. Most girls cant “communicate” past the indoctrination they’ve had, since its become so ingrained. I know plenty of beautiful, smart, Jewish girls who are interested in dating, but are clearly not able to stay happy in a stable relationship. Their lives revolve around social media, one upping their friends, and trying to date on the premise of status, not love.
atlantique16 6y ago
Listen bud we both know the majority of women are emotionally fucked. Judging by what your saying I can tell you’ve never told a girl what’s good. You can teach a girl how to communicate to you and how to present herself in a relationship with you. You act like women are essentially non-influenceable when in fact you can get them to do anything.
Dat_Black_Guy 6y ago
this is all facts.
Good women are not out their waiting to be found but, made!
Build-A-Bitch!
CapnPoot 6y ago
Lol? I lay down the law just fine. The issue is not “influencing a woman”. No amount of influencing by a person can negate the sexist laws that are in place against men. Surely there are “good” girls out there, but these laws, coupled with the personality disorders and terrible influences around us, make women unpredictable.
I had an ex who refused to let me break up w her. When I tried to walk out, she attacked me, and I evaded her and left. She ended up claiming that I attacked her, and I had to shit on her to make her feel like an idiot. I got lucky that she wasnt more fucked up, or that her gurl friends didnt tell her to cry rape, because I wouldve ended up behind bars for her attacking me. This is the world we live in these days.
atlantique16 6y ago
The “sexist law” you are talking about doesn’t correlate to re teaching a woman how to communicate and act in a healthy relationship.
Sounds like you were in a relationship with a toxic person you shouldn’t let that affect you entire perspective.
CapnPoot 6y ago
Ive been in multiple relationships, each of which were with “good” girls from excellent families. Religious, kind, wealthy, etc. I’m also surrounded by people in these types of relationships. What I’ve found is that no girl can be tamed after being exposed to this circus of a culture. Almost every girl I know has cheated on their Chad/Turbo Chad boyfriends. Many of them smoke, do drugs, and regularly go clubbing. The ones who don’t, end up act like princesses, and use men as their doormats. I am surrounded by people worth 100m+, and they all have been fucked multiple times. Girls don’t even give 6’4” billionaires the time of day out of pickiness, and regularly cheat on them and use them for food/instagram likes.
So yeah, I’m going to stick to my belief that it’s better to be safe then sorry.
MFIR 6y ago
When you are a man of high value and in tune with your masculinity your woman will not be dying her hair blue and be a feminist. I am still getting married. Still will have children.
Omnibrad 6y ago
Irrelevant. Women aren’t trying to get financial security from low value men. A man of high value doesn’t instill discipline into a woman, he is simply a target for women.
You can be into your masculinity all you want, not that the government cares how big you think your balls are, but life is yours to live so good for you.
[deleted] 6y ago
I hope your masculinity stays strong and robust for the road you face ahead. High value or not, if she gets tingles from a low value male she gonna swallow his semen faster than you can say "high value male".
NYCSPARKLE 6y ago
Sure, your mileage may vary, but the odds are you will be divorced. It’s pretty simple.
CapnPoot 6y ago
Lol dude. I respect your alpha-mindset, but I know turbo chads who would make you look like peter pan, and they were cucked despite holding their frame. All it means that you will be a Chad paying CS.
MFIR 6y ago
You’re right especially about the CS. I still believe having children is important. That matters more to me than a wife anywAy.
tteabag2591 6y ago
Then why get one? Just have kids with someone who is really into you and isn't a complete fuck up. If they demand marriage, next em.
noctorious99 6y ago
This is tragic. I cannot understand the cowardice of politicians in evading this a d allowing it to continue.
Dmva100 6y ago
All men that marry in todays age are submisisve cucks who miss the authoritative reign of their single mothers and want a woman-boss clown thingy. If you get married you are gay because you are going to get fucked in the asshole that will soon become very salty and you will be forced to try the lower sodium version of the State's Sausage, and even that will come with a price tag attached.
[deleted] 6y ago
lol well there you have it fellas
[deleted] 6y ago
That's right! Don't marry and raise children. Stay a bachelor till the day you die and leave nothing behind after you because you read some bad divorce stories on the internet. That's the real redpill.
[deleted] 6y ago
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[deleted] 6y ago
Genetic line? Do you understand there are 7 billion humans alive right now? Do you understand how insignificant your sperms contribution is? A little bitch for not having children and living life on your own terms? Are you fucking serious? Free will is a magnificent thing. You have no right to judge people for taking their life in their own hand and living it on their own term. Having children is a personal choice and has zero impact on the future of the human race. It serves no purpose but your own. Your genetic line indeed. Who gives a shit.
0kool74 6y ago
there's always one lil' douchefaggot that has to pop up on these kinds of posts. "If you don't live by society's rules you're a pathetic piece of trash." Take that shit on over there to the blue pill sub there cowboy. They love roping in idiots like you on the daily!
Dmva100 6y ago
No just fuck lots of women and cuck men. Your kids live on. Fuck raising your own family when you can make a bunch of babies and make other people responsible. Just look at the Harlem ghettos and shit. Happens all the time.
Family is a blue pill, feminine social convention. Your genetic line is only relevant in the world because it contributes to consumerism. We arent endangered.
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ghostofexistence 6y ago
Who fucking cares. Toss me in the trash at that point
victor_knight 6y ago
The world is overpopulated and the powers that be don't want to encourage marriage (and kids, which is what tends to happen naturally the longer marriages last). Get the message already, gents. The party is over. Homos, rejoice, because the state wants more of you now.
[deleted] 6y ago
What about signing a pre-nup?
yummyluckycharms 6y ago
Its sad but at least his pain will end soon. I dont think he has the money to flee to another country even, which usually requires at least 10k.
GritsWithGranny 6y ago
If a person has to get married then make sure to sign a prenuptial.
King_0 6y ago
I think all men should boycott marriage in protest of this shit system if women want their big fancy wedding and their day of being the center of everyone’s attention they have to earn it they have to prove they can act like a fucking adult no one should have to go through what the op has experienced
TenYearsAnIncel 6y ago
Why doesn't he just leave the country and start a new life somewhere else?
BurningOrangeHeaven 6y ago
I don't get it. If that child support bullshit happened to me like that i would just take my savings and peace out to a different country. What makes guys stay in a fucked up scenario like that...
SubhumanOxford 6y ago
I'm just glad I'm in a conservative culture (not gonna last much longer though)
Ismoketomuch 6y ago
I just dont understand men who marry poor uneducated women. I will get married to my LTR but not until she gets her PHD. She will make more money then I do and then if shit foes sideways she will be the bread winner in court. Might get myself some CS if it really gets twisted.
Pastelitomaracucho 6y ago
Have you ever been to conferences PhDs and PhD candidates in conferences? everyone fucks everything that moves like you have no idea. Half of them with boyfriends or husbands.
Just a quick heads up.
banjew 6y ago
I have almost 20 years of experience going to conferences full of PhD and grad students. I think I'm going to the wrong conferences because if there is sex, nobody knows.
Pastelitomaracucho 6y ago
Of course people try to be as discreet as possible.... but it my experience, it just happens A LOT
SonOfSparda304 6y ago
I've never met a PhD with a stable mind. Don't do it.
banjew 6y ago
Have PhD. LTR also has a PhD. Can confirm.
Timthetiny 6y ago
PhD = Permanent Head Damage.
Coming from a former grad student
coin_pwr 6y ago
Would like to know more about this.
SonOfSparda304 6y ago
What's there to explain? Grad students are batshit.
banjew 6y ago
Grad school is like Seal Team school for the mind. It breaks you mind and will to make it stronger. Sometimes it just breaks.
hrm0894 6y ago
I don't get it. Why do you say they're batshit? I know plenty of grad graduates that are normal..
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Timthetiny 6y ago
My coworker PhDs make 300-500k per year.
Ismoketomuch 6y ago
Every medical doctor I know makes money and lots of it. School loans come with the education and she already pays her own first school loan that got her a BA.
She treats me like a king now and she has a Bachelors in Bio Engineering and I Don’t even have a degree. Our money is separate, she pays for most stuff but we don’t combine our income.
Though I am about to go into a Nursing program and I may do a PA degree afterward.
We already been together 6 years and living together 5.
She isnt like other woman but she still is one. So I treat her as such. But anyway in California, the person who makes the most money get divorce raped, not just men. Its just rare that women are the bread winners.
Im full Red Pilled and apply its theories but still, why do men marry poor uneducated women. If a poor girl asked me, when I was gonna propose, I would ask when you getting a degree? I don’t marry whores, I marry a woman who was brought up to take of herself, educated, and driven. Thats the only type of women I would ever consider to take as a wife. Hence why I am still not married, but I could be close... 8 years to go. Ill be 40 by then and she will be 37.
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EscapeTheGoat 6y ago
Hey guys I mean let's be fair to the man. We don't know what he looks like or what the girl looks like. I've seen plenty of nerdy AF women who aren't really about to cheat on their boyfriends or divorce them, but they are often pretty darn sexually repressed and frankly not anything I'd want to sleep with. I respect them in professional settings, but their SMV is frankly too low for them to be a problem for you anyway. That being said, this relationship situation sounds a bit dicey TBH. If she's better than you professionally, which let's be honest she sounds like it, you'll never really be the man in that relationship.
BirdManBrrrr 6y ago
Low SMV, nerdy girls fuck too. Just because you don't touch them doesn't mean they won't have legions of thirsty, equally nerdy guys orbiting.
TheRojoPill 6y ago
“She isn’t like other women”....oh boy here we go again! I’ll wait eagerly for your post in a few months on how things fell to shit, how we were right all along and how you now believe in the old adage which we’ll say together in harmonious unison ...All Women Are Like That”
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BirdManBrrrr 6y ago
"OMG how did this happen, she was supposed to be different"
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BirdManBrrrr 6y ago
Seriously. I heard these stories from a few doctor friends of mine, all the residents were fucking eachother constantly.
Spend most of your day in a stressful environment with the same type A people for months...ripe breeding ground for everyone to hook up.
askmrcia 6y ago
Medical students are the biggest whores. By far the types of girls that are the easiest to hook up with on tinder.
One would have to be an idiot to marry one. Plus they will be hitting the wall as soon as they start making their real money
meermaalsgeprobeerd 6y ago
I like smart women too, they're better at lying and keep the illusion alive longer. The more they make me feel like I'm worth something, the more suspicious I get... Or at least, nowadays I do, those were some hard lessons, good luck with that. Or maybe you're one really is diffirent, I hope so for your sake.
BirdManBrrrr 6y ago
We can make bets on how long it will take this broad's friends to start the "Oh you can do soooo much better than him...", assuming it hasn't already. We can follow that with how quickly she starts to believe it.
meermaalsgeprobeerd 6y ago
Maybe, but in that case the 'friends' are just jealous, he could just fuck her friends and be done with it. Let's just hope his GF hasn't found out that having a BF makes her attractive to guys looking to boast their ego's. She might just be stringing him along so that it's more exciting to duck other guys. However, I genuinely hope he has found something special, even though I doubt it.
BirdManBrrrr 6y ago
Jealous? Of what? She will have her PhD (and inferred MD) and he'll maybe be a nurse, or PA at best after a few years? She'll outearn him by multiples. Unless he's got some extreme good looks, expert level game, and awesome sex skills the deck is stacked against him from the beginning. This is a huge mismatch, even if his SMV is 2-3 points higher than hers to begin with.
If that isn't already fodder for the hens to cluck it will be. The minute he slips and she's not haaapy all of this will be right in her face with her grrrlfrands right alongside. Maybe he'll make out in the divorce but if they has kids he'll def be paying child support.
Or, she's the 0.01% of NAWALT who loves unconditionally and won't emasculate her man for not being better than her.
meermaalsgeprobeerd 6y ago
Jealous of her because she has someone that thinks she's worth the commitment. Maybe the deck is stacked against him. But thinking like that is going to make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. I believe in TRP, but I'm also a romantic. Nothing lasts forever but maybe he could get a couple of good months out of it. In the end he will get hurt but then again, every good party is going to leave a bitch of a hang over. That's not going to stop me from partying, and it shouldn't stop this guy. Let's just hope he has the balls to call it quits when the tide turns.
BirdManBrrrr 6y ago
Men are romantic, indeed.
Women now have the option of shedding their traditional gender roles while holding men to the theirs; as a rule women date up or date parallel at best, rarely down. Perhaps this guy's women is actually different, but I won't put my money on it.
"She's not yours, its just your turn."
He intends to marry her...mind you. Add kids (potentially) and he's still liable in the eyes of the courts.
I'm not saying it can't work, I'm saying he has a hell of an uphill climb.
meermaalsgeprobeerd 6y ago
True true, but that shouldn't be a reason to not go after what you want. These are theories to help you get what you want.
I've been taking the redpill since before I knew it was called the red pill. So I got some different quotes, got my first rule from Iceberg Slim, in his book: my life as a pimp.
He says: 'pimping is to reverse the game on a hoe'
So if this guy wants to land a girl making money for him so he can chill out the rest of his days he should go for it. He should know how to do it, women have been doing it for centuries. He might have to manipulate the shot out of that girl and be OK with here cheating and such. I mean, not my cup o' tea, but if he wants to reverse those gender roles, all the more power him.
We can make the reversed gender roles work in our advantage, we're just too proud.
Hombremaniac 6y ago
Luckily, this western dementia did not yet fully reach eastern Europe. On the other hand neither did the salaries...
suitcasecity 6y ago
Eastern europe, russia is a patriarchy culturally. The leaders will not let western influences translate to their culture. Thats part of why the west hates putin so much.
[deleted] 6y ago
Honestly this sounds like satire. Blue hair and Starbucks? Really? If any of that is true then he must have ignored a few 1000 red flags and I really don't feel sorry for him.
Jacob_exe 6y ago
marriage always needs prenup, and for the love of god vet the shit out of whoever you think you want to marry. Seriously. Double check, triple check them. I have the belief you should only get married once so don't fuck it up when you pull the trigger. Make sure that person can not only satisfy you but keep you entertained socially
This chick ran off with the kid and dyed their hair blue? I'm pretty sure you can tell someone is fucking weird long before this happens. Trust you gut.
bigsmallkev 6y ago
I’m curious to all my brothers out there from culturally Asian backgrounds, where the talk of marriage creeps up on you and takes over the dinner table conversation the moment you turn of age, how do you deal with the talk that you’ll have to have years to come on the inevitability of no marriage to your conservative, sheltered, delusional parents?
BiteAndThrow 6y ago
If you were financially independent you wouldn't be asking these kind of questions.
upstairstraffic 6y ago
I never say anything I'm currently 22 so the pressure isn't on yet but provided I marry within the same ethnicity then they don't seem too fussed. In reality, they don't realise I don't give 2 fucks what they think and will do what I want.
oG_Wookie 6y ago
What's the deal with just getting a prenup? Still legally in for an ass pounding later enless highly specific or? Also got married young and daughter is about to turn 1. Trying to convert to redpill more but slow gains. Our wedding was small thankfully but if a divorce is eminent I'd still get fucked over.
hodltaco 6y ago
Damn that title made me swallow. Old guy here, married twice and all I can say is DO NOT FUCKING GET MARRIED!
319Skew 6y ago
Was married. Never again. Marriage rape is a very real thing.
[deleted] 6y ago
Honest question, if marriage is completely out of the question what's the solution to procreating? I seems to me that having multiple children out-of-wedlock would be way more expensive?
[deleted] 6y ago
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[deleted] 6y ago
Just it seems that without legal provisioning, the natural trust that once exited in a more natural way.
askmrcia 6y ago
There really is no solution. So this is people will continue to marry, even guys that frequent this sub. It's a risk worth taking I guess
[deleted] 6y ago
I am of the belief that modern feminism/liberalism is the way it is for the specific purpose of destroying the possibility of healthy long term relationships between men and women which would produce fully capable and capacitated adults.
I'm noticing the TRP doesn't answer this issue, in fact it seems to exploit the situation, making it worse.
If sex is all this sub wants, cool, but if everyone is doubling down hard 24/7 the only outcome is hell.
Men, true men, should want more than just sex, they should want to be able to cultivate a good number of zero or low n-count women from whom to choose for a future life, not just high n-count harems for sex until their dicks fall off.
So if TRP is only offering a sex strategy, long term effects might be worse for all.
ilovecadence 6y ago
This sub refuses to acknowledge the true redpill, which is WHY society is the way it is, and that advocation of "plate spinning" and avoiding marriage and MGTOW etc is quite literally accelerating the intended degradation of human civilisation and is falling straight into the playbook of those who are orchestrating all of this. Be as "redpill" as you want about women but without the understanding of WHY things are the way they are you are still blue beyond comprehension and you are lost
[deleted] 6y ago
Okay Yes, I can agree to that POV. A part of me almost wants to say it is a conspiracy, a necessary conspiracy for many, but one none the less. And like Neo and Morpheus walking past the lady in Red(Pill), even hinting at it is targeted with Billy-Beta-Baby-Fever over here here.
Out of curiosity, when you say ...
you mean ... ?
(PM if you feel it will cause backlash)
askmrcia 6y ago
All good points and yes I agree with you.
I believe most men here and in general would be cool with just a monogamous relationship.
The problem is that attempting to go that route would mean the guys will end up getting post wall women to marry them.
The red pill is teaching guys they have two choices. Either marry a chick who had far more sex partners thenyourself while she settles for you and you give her your reslurces. Or have sex with many women as you want and not give them any resources and commitment.
Doing the latter is not helping, but the former is making things much worse. If guys just end up being perm bachelors then maybe women will wise up (they wont) and start being traditional again.
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monsieurhire2 6y ago
Well, I guess this is part of the mechanics of how the alphas at the apex of society get their never-ending supply of slave-betas, gammas, and omegas to fit into their pyramid-schemes.
Also, OP is a textbook example of how not to react. He is just taking it. They set his child support on a one-off event and he doesn't appeal that? If Texas really is that unjust, he should fucking flee the state, disappear, and start a new life, not fork over his dwindling savings to that vampire.
WholesomeAwesome 6y ago
what are the gammas and omegas for?
monsieurhire2 6y ago
Slave-labor, cannon-fodder, fuel, prey, etc.
zyqkvx 6y ago
<Hopefully helpful rant>
Edit: I misread, thought troubled guy made original post.
Dealing with tragedy is yet one more RP skill. Whether you have a flu so bad you want to die, suicide seems like a rational choice, you lost your job and have no means to pay rent and / or you got divorced it you will be in a state you believe is how it's always been and will always be. It's not. Use your mind. The amount of time you spend that 'that mental' that you want to die is a tiny sliver of the time you have lived. Understand that. The most fucked situation will pass with no effort and some patience. That's rule #1. It gets better than that because if you can just keep yourself distracted, say watching a movie, then movie hopping to kill 4 hours of this sliver you are ahead. That's rule #2.. you can wait it out in a waiting room fretting over it the whole time and it will pass so distracting yourself for hours is even better. It's much better to go in to self regulation mode, and distract yourself for hours too. That is, make sure you have eaten a few times every day, don't spend time thinking about the problems in a way that drives you crazy. Choose one of your problems and solve it in chunks, then use any downtime to distract yourself with a movie or a podcast. That's rule #3 Merely distracting yourself will get you out of 'wanting death' mode, but if you can put in some work jobs as a form distraction, and solving some of the problems as a form of distraction, you will not only come out of it soon enough, you will be happy you did and ready to move on.
It doesn't matter if you when to a street corner and hung around like a bum for a week. It will pass.
After. you know it will pass. no matter what's a matter of channeling yourself to pass the time.
....
Also. All the 'deadbeat dad' and other shit are just shit women criminally use to distract blame from themselves. You need strategies to deal with that shit as well. It's about learning not to lower your head when one of these verbal abuse lines is bolting towards you. It's about seeing them for what they are AWHILE you are being shanked with this abuse. You should see these actions as petting, malicious and childlike. As a strategy do not every visualize yourself as a deadbeat dad or ever engage in explaining to them why you are not a deadbeat dad. That's just shit stupid stuff men do. If a woman is blatantly using a lie to get somewhere, she will never say 'oh your right' after you explain it to her. Don't allow yourself to be around those 'backing her up' Avoid the ones you must see sometimes, never see yourself as what they are calling you, and never engage or explain. If you have to retreat, retreat to your real friends and / or here.
Eliminate as much (that is all) of the drama and brain damage as possible by keeping busy or distracted (a healthy combo of both is the ticket). Put logistical strategies to deal with this shit in place. Who knows maybe you'll have a flu from hell next year, you can use the same strategies again.
Maybe watch stoism videos on youtube. It's timely information that will put you in the right frame of mind. That is don't shit time trying to control what you can't control, and go full force on what you can control (you can always complete them and feel rewarded), especially times like this. Another one. Remember that all of your problems are stupid trivial in the big scheme of things. If you are acting out drama you chose to. No different then when you see someone else act like a clown when they are getting arrested or after a divorce. What do you think of them? you are thinking them acting out is just retarded. Accept that if you are acting out as a drama clown you it's useless and you are doing it by choice, not because it's a 'normal response'. That's another stoic thing, but I didn't explain that one that well.
Here's a link to youtube videos on stoism. Clicking on any one of them will probably get your head screwed on straight again.
Also read 'Light Switch Effect' in the sidebar.
hammerhearth 6y ago
I knew you were a stoic before you said anything about stoicism.
Fellas, this is the right state of mind. No matter how bad things get, nothing can harm the soul but the soul itself.
Do not be fooled by externals. Guard your heart and soul above all.
GarandTheftAvto 6y ago
Great contribution, I think this could even be a whole post on dealing with tragedy. Have you thought about expanding it?
hiaram_hasnem 6y ago
Well...this is what he gets for being a bluepilled moron. I know for sure I'm not marrying my ghanaian american plate, no matter how educated, obedient she is.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] 6y ago
Most successful women are covert narcissists. Enjoy the discard phase.
suaressi 6y ago
that doesn't really happen
LeftHookTKD 6y ago
Yeah women always look for someone making more than them
suaressi 6y ago
ok i knew this one girl that was married to this guy and the girl was very well off through her family, but the the dude was poor. however, the girl was on the uggo side and fat and the guy could have done better for sure.
uebermacht 6y ago
Correction: Still wanna get married in the West without propper RP-vetting and a prenup?
listenhereboi 6y ago
They're not worth the pair they're written on. A judge can throw it out for any or no reason after the fact.
hammerhearth 6y ago
Correction: Don't get married whatsoever.
[deleted] 6y ago
Marriage is unnecessary. You're literally signing/agreeing to a contract with witnesses to whatever happens, happens.
invaderdim325 6y ago
Swallowed the red pill after similar situation good thing I didn't knock her up though.
Cross_De_Lena 6y ago
Serious question...
Marriage can destroy a man, but how less likely is this to happen to a guy who's lifting regularly, has other options (willingness to leave when his principles are violated), is taking good care of himself before taking care of others (nice guy syndrome) and has other TRP traits that separates him from the rest?
I'm not advocating marriage, but shit man. This case is pretty extreme one.
From where I am (middle eastern Europe), where traditional marriage still holds some merit, the scenario above is highly unlikely to happen - Considering you truly are TRP in the core.
Whisper 6y ago
And what do you stand to gain, by taking this risk?
Dat_Black_Guy 6y ago
I'm gonna guess and say a big o'le nothing, unless there is some sort of perk to this unbalanced scale?
hammerhearth 6y ago
Whisper, I've been reading your writings for years. You're one of the few RP dudes (like Rollo and Illimitable) who know what they're talking about.
As the family game has changed, where do you see yourself in the future? I'm sure you're seeing someone, or a few someones, but what are your plans for old age? I need a proper RP take on this.
[deleted] 6y ago
You dont marry for fear of lack of companionship. The lonely old man is a myth. Go to Miami or Palm Springs and strike up a conversation with some locals who have some grey game